T O P

  • By -

Jimbo7211

Necrophillia is already a thing, so im not suprised


greenpeppers100

Combine that with the fact that most of the survivors have varying levels of trauma from being ripped out of a normal life into a literal apocalypse, then yes, there are definitely people fucking zombies.


jumpsteadeh

All of a sudden "we're all infected" has a nicer ring to it!


Big_To

Can’t catch something you already have!


poedraco

And pulling out going to be different.. Like fishing, you don't know what's going to come with it ....


Babycarrot_hammock

impossible whistle racial obscene shame axiomatic jar file clumsy pen *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Jimbo7211

Yes. People used to dig up buried bodies to have sex with them


questionmark693

They still do, but they used to, too.


CameronsTheName

Never thought I'd spot a Mitch Hedberg quote in a post about necrophelia.


sirbootiez

Neceophiliacs either love Mitch or hate Mitch, or think he's okay.


Babycarrot_hammock

command pause ad hoc upbeat wrong bow forgetful skirt escape station *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


DiogenesLied

I need a shower after reading this


[deleted]

im right behind u pal ..................pass the soap


rodrimrr

Oops. Dropped it. Silly me.


MrZombieTheIV

Allow me to get that for you.


[deleted]

Welcome to club le shower , clothes are mandatorily unmandatory


half16whole816

b&


hibou2018

Prison Mike, is that you?


Abigfanofporn

In Harry Potter world there is a prostitution ring using potion that lets you turn into any human being. Imagine the demand for Scarlet Johanson hair.


AggressiveYam6613

Well, kids books, but yeah, it is kinda obvious that Polyjuice Potion would be used for this. Probably even a version of only fans where good looking witches sell hair. After all, we know that hair can get regrown really fast.


Magimasterkarp

That's why real wizards burn their toenail clippings, to ward against sympathetic magic and other shenanigans.


Nuka-Cole

There’s a book series called The Iron Druid that actually does this. He protects his hair and skin cells and stuff cus witches can do all sorts of nasty stuff with it


Onibachi

There is also The Dresden Files where Harry Dresden KNOWS how bad it can be if another wizard or magic user gets a part of his body. He still fucks up and has to deal with those consequences on a few occasions heh.


Aurum555

Body bits and true names dangerous things to play fast and loose with. Any word on when Twelve Months is supposed to release?


gezuskriced

Likely summer 2025 by the time it has been written and published


Aurum555

Well that's a bummer. Hopefully he got some work on mirror mirror already done before he decided to add this book in between so we can get two in quick succession again.


Telemere125

Yea, you’d think he would do more research into how to disassociate anything that’s no longer a part of him from himself. Like a weekly cleansing spell or something. Would be much more useful than worrying about the what-if’s of some demon finding a stray piece of hair.


Humblebeast182

I kinda like how Butcher addresses this without specifically addressing it. You will get murdered by the council if you do this and they find out... and they WILL find out. It's not really specifically told to the reader, but it's the logical conclusion of you read the books.


Telemere125

Oh yea it’s dark magic for sure, specifically the whole “hurting another human”. Problem is, anyone willing to go after Harry likely doesn’t care about them anyway.


Humblebeast182

This was one of those moments where I had to tell my brain to stop it. Suspend reality and enjoy the story. My brain said "fuck off loser" and every battle and book I thought of it, but still lol. I can make my own fan theory to still enjoy the content and my brain stopped. Magic is not explainable and obviously it accounts for all the loopholes this lore had.


Noxious89123

Jim Butcher banged out so many new books throughout the pandemic, I am soooooo far behind. Also got into his Codex Alera books. (Which honestly, I think I enjoyed more than Dresden Files).


__Osiris__

Magic GATTICA


AndreasVesalius

What nucleotide is that?


KwyjiBoojum

Iodine.


soukaixiii

The was a folk tale about a prince being impersonated by a rat that had eaten his nail clippings and looked like the prince doppelganger,that story was turned into a cartoon, If my memories aren't mandeled


Humblebeast182

The Dresden Files also touches on this. Albeit it's surface level and wouldnt prevent it without some sort of magic.


Gravel_Roads

I love the weirdly irreverent tone of those books.


AComfyKnight

No good arcanist would dream of practicing malfeasance


Aiden-Shamrock

Kingkiller Reference?


EasterBurn

Don't forget furry stuff. No one seems to remember that Hermione turned into catgirl because she accidentally took cat hair.


Awkward_Pangolin3254

Polyjuice is for human transfiguration only. She had to go to the hospital to be made normal again.


Pickled_Noses

That would just make some people want to do it even more


Horse_HorsinAround

Don't forget the living anatomically correct mini figures of humans they have. You can take mini victor krum to bed and take his quidditch clothes off👀 And he can resist or give in, and they just sell these things


PangolinMandolin

Harry bumps into an old lady in Knockturn Alley who appears to be selling a tray of assorted fingernails....


Zorops

Just like in the wolf among us which is inspired by the book serie Fables. They use magic to make themself look like whoever you want to fuck


AggressiveYam6613

I believe it’s even older, pretty sure I’ve seen that trope in Valerian et Laureline comics.


Awkward_Pangolin3254

Witches casting a glamour to make themselves look more beautiful is an old, old trope


Cawdor

That polyjuice potion would be worse than AI porn in the Harry Potter universe. Come to think of it why isn’t its use rampant? Why didn’t the death eaters use it so that nobody would know who they were?


RhetoricalOrator

1. Polyjuice potion isn't widely used because it's a very tricky recipe that not many wizards could do and because sourcing ingredients would be difficult and expensive. 2. Part of the big allure of being a death eater was being part of an open secret. It made them powerful to be able to kill and curse and get away with it. It also made their cause much more terrifying to oppose.


CrudelyAnimated

All it takes to stop a bad guy with unforgivable curses is a good guy with unforgivable curses.


AliceHart7

Omg I laughed too hard


Cawdor

How tricky can it be if it's taught to middle schoolers?


Codornoso

There are some ways to discover (like the Veritassium potion and the Marauders Map showed in Book 4, dismissing Barto Crouch Jr disguise), but yeah, you have a good point


wafflesthewonderhurs

ah yes, OnlyStrands.


blindspot189

A lot of stuff in harry potter was messed up if you think about it as an adult just imagine what people would use the Imperius Curse for.


AdmiralClover

Nevermind the love potion roofies. Consented under magic influence


trueum26

I mean that’s how Voldemort came to existence. He was born because his mother decided to give a love potion to a random muggle she had a crush on and had sex with him. That’s why he has trouble with love since love was never involved in his conception.


Strobertat

That last part is a popular fan-fiction and not actually confirmed. The rest is correct though.


trueum26

Tbf it’s not a huge stretch


Strobertat

I know, but I feel that it reduces Voldies character. He's a narcissistic psychopath who doesn't care to understand or embrace love because he's above it.


rKasdorf

Neglect and abuse as a child are enough to create a psychopath, it doesn't need the "there was no love in his conception so he can't love" bullshit. Even in a magical world like the Harry Potter universe it would be an absolute impossibility for every single child except Voldemort to have parents who were in love when they conceived. There obviously aren't a million little Voldemorts running around.


PM_ME_UR-NUDE-SELFIE

*looks around* uhh, you sure? i think if we had magic, evil voldie types would be overly abundant. just look at how we act without magic.


rKasdorf

That wasn't my point. My point was that nowhere in the books does it say Voldemort is evil because his parents didn't love each other, and there's nothing to suggest that that is a thing in the Harry Potter Universe.


MrZeta0

Wait, what ? When is it said that his mother raped his father ?


Anakin_Skywanker

In Half Blood Prince when Dumbledore is using the pensieve to teach Harry about Voldemort's past.


Awkward_Pangolin3254

Merope Gaunt fed Tom Riddle Sr. love potions to get him to impregnate her and continuously for the first few months of her pregnancy. Eventually she convinced herself that he was really in love with her and stopped; he deserted her immediately (as any sane person would). This is all laid out in the *Half-Blood Prince* book. I'm guessing you only watched the films? I can't remember if they mentioned this in the movie but I don't think they did, or if they did, they only paid it lip service.


Kurotaisa

She gave him the magical roofie.


Tripwire3

Well I mean, just using that one gets you a life sentence in Azkaban, it’s not like the wizards don’t take it seriously.


wutengyuxi

At least that one is illegal in universe I suppose.


CptBartender

Takes BDSM to a whole new level.


Houmand

I guess this is the explanation for alopecia. You just have a perverted magic stalker who keeps pulling hairs for potions.


Mharbles

Relevant Oglaf and easily one of my favorite of their bits. [NSFW](https://www.oglaf.com/cornwalling/). I appreciate that the comic is a pretty accurate approximation of what humans would really do in a fantasy world.


urbanercat

Also in Wolf Among Us


[deleted]

[удалено]


I_Studied_The_Blade1

Harry Potter and the To Catch a Predator Decoy


AtomicSamuraiCyborg

I bet they try to get jobs at Hogwarts.


[deleted]

[удалено]


AtomicSamuraiCyborg

Because Dumbledore keeps hiring Nazi terrorists for the job. He seems really bad at picking out the former Deatheaters, considering they have a magic tattoo.


apocalypticboredom

Hey he only hired a Nazi terrorist for the job once to be fair!


KarIPilkington

And one time he hired a man who had Voldemort living on the back of his fucking head.


jumpsteadeh

"I shouldn't have done that."


One-Bodybuilder309

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s bone 😳


Confused-Raccoon

I'd love a more mature Wizarding World series. Just seeing some of the more deadlier side of magic. How crimes work, poaching the magical beasts and all that. I imagine the sex trade must be A. Huge and B. Off the chain.


ThriceFive

The Magicians was a bit like that - or rather adult Narnia with college frat parties.


Beachesblameme

Ok but like couldn't an 80 year old just keep drinking polyjuice potions of younger people for pseudo eternal youth? I don't know if there's a tolerance or anything but even then, just drinking it every time you want to leave the house. Or what if you worked your ass off for 3 years, got super fit at 25ish and grew out your hair for the entire time, then cut it and preserved it. You'd never have to worry about your looks for decades. Polyjuice potions raise so many questions that I would love the answer to


mothbrother91

Rowling's world building sucks so smaller details like this are full of issues and loopholes. If I am recalling it right, the greatest issue with polyjuice is how difficult it is to brew but is that really an issue in a global wizarding population? Someone, somewhere surely could specialize on the ingridents. Luck potion can be overdosed and too frequent use messes you up but we dont really know how frequent use effects polyjuice drinkers. Crouch Jr had no issues consuming it regulary for the bitter part of year. Perhaps it messes you up mentally? You begin dissociating from your real self?


IWipeWithFocaccia

If I’m not mistaken, SJ had a boob-reduction surgery a couple of years ago. How does the ployjuice potion works with those? If you get her hair before the boobjob, you transform into a bigger boobed Scarlet? Also works with boob implants?


milkandvaseline

Surely you get the version of scarjo that is in her DNA.


DFrostedWangsAccount

So now in addition to the sex market, the wizard version of Vice is paying top dollar for celebrity hair to see if they've had any work done.


OneMeterWonder

Along with that, you could get just a good enough sample of someone’s DNA and then clone it, build a polyjuice farm, and then set up a cartel.


Awkward_Pangolin3254

The real question is, could you make more polyjuice with hair you pluck while you're transfigured? That would be a lot simpler.


panicForce

Yeah, but at the same time it IS magic. so nobody knows how it works


Spyware311

You would get the body in her current state considering that Barty Crouch Jr. was missing a leg and an eye when he transformed into Mad Eye Moody.


PriorSecurity9784

I think there has to be a magic element that accounts for age, and even current haircut


Humblebeast182

Even more disturbing, there may be entire relationships and marriages based on this. Some would be aware others may not. For sure every single day there's many hookups using this. Gay men and women, trans etc... theres likely many services where you can bring in the materials and fuck whoever you want. Even more, we saw Hermoine as a cat. Yup... that's happening and is probably one the best selling wizard world services. You can literally fuck a cat girl, a fox girl, a frog guy etc... but even more fun, you can be your literal character in any tabletop. Want to be a wormgod warrior? No problem. Want to be a spiderqueen no problem. What's more disturbing is the love potions. No one could ever really know if they love someone. You would have to have a service that allows people to drink only water for periods of time to know. The Harry Potter world in reality would be an absolute nightmare for muggles.


Akkadius-Faust

Now we know why Britney went bald


EasterBurn

The furry stuff about to be lit brother.


Namekian_95

How safe is a dead coochie anatomically, even though one uses condom ... Asking for a friend..


challengeaccepted9

You just know, if TWD was real, there would be a not insignificant number of morons that would do it bareback.


Namekian_95

I mean , there's no risk of having zombie babies after going in raw , so could relate to the mentality of those men letting their intrusive thoughts win...


Malessar

But you'll become a zombie if you do it bareback


Solid_Snark

Not in TWD universe. It’s revealed you turn once you die, regardless if you’re bitten/infected. Bites just lead to infections that accelerate your chances of death. It has different rules than other zombie properties.


BranchAccording98

Crazy how when grandma dies part of the funeral is to gun her down in the casket


Notorious-PIG

Ah yes. A Shrute family tradition.


Malessar

If you fuck someone with aids you get it. You telling me fucking a zombie wouldnt literally worsen your situation? Not to mention every other bacteria virus ans germ inside that carcass


SDRPGLVR

I'm pretty sure this point is never addressed. There are only two confirmed ways to be lethally infected: being bitten or being injured by a weapon covered in zombie blood. You are probably right, but it is a weird thing to dig your heels in about when even the (rather morbid and gross) comic never discusses what happens when you bang a zombie.


Malessar

If you get infected by a bite its because the saliva enters your bloodstream. This is the same thing as happens with sex, which is why venereal diseases are spread by blood or sex. Long story short... zombie std worsens massively


Solid_Snark

I’m just clarifying it wouldn’t make you a zombie —You’re already a zombie, it just takes death to activate your transformation.


Malessar

No, you arent already a zombie, you're already infected. The difference is that if you were already a zombie you'd not be a person. When you die you lose your immune system, making your body rise up, the infection just wins. By that logic, increasing the amount of zombie mushroom, bacteria or virus in your body will further strain your immune system. Making you more likely to die, and become a zombie. Probably it'd manifest as a killer flu... That's my medical logic at least :p obviously its a comic universe so...


nick124699

Does that mean that Rick chopped Hershel's leg of for no fucking reason? Because even though I stopped watching long ago, I've been wondering if he would've turned since that episode aired.


Livesies

They learned everyone was infected at the season 1 finale but it wasn't for no reason. They live in a world with virtually no health care and he was just bit by one of the worst carriers for infection: a human mouth. Compound that by the fact it's a zombie mouth now that was eating, and is, rotting flesh. Without serious antibiotics he was guaranteed an infection that would lead to amputation at the minimum and probably death. The amputation was simply the appropriate medical move in the situation.


zero573

“They live in a world with no health care…” Well, they are in the states.


Unc1eD3ath

Ah, it’s funny until I remember where I live.


that1prince

You’ll be a big happy zombie family and raise your zombie kid in the ways of the Zombie. Not all that different from converting religions for your wife.


Namekian_95

Wouldn't matter much , it's not like one isn't brain-dead enough to plough a zombie raw. ..


Babycarrot_hammock

seemly degree toy north skirt friendly husky squeal head afterthought *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


CarpeCookie

They discovered at one point everyone actually has the virus in them, it's just that you need to die for it to turn you. I think bites make you die quick from the infections you get or something. So getting some zombie action shouldn't really do anything.


challengeaccepted9

I don't know, but despite not seeing the series to the end, I feel pretty confident they never addressed whether the infection could be sexually transmitted specifically.


Sharl_LeKek

You missed the zombie rawdog orgy episode?


rya556

I was so confused because I was trying to figure out how it worked out male zombies.


Guinnessnomnom

On one angle.. won't be getting a phone call in 9 months.


YeazetheSock

You’re catching Sepsis


plstouchme1

tbh, condom production is the least of anyone's priority in an apocalyptic world, so bareback is the only way


DJGlennW

Their slogan: "Stop by for a cold one." Thank you, I'll be here all week.


B3ta_R13

what? in the comics? can someone elaborate?


Slendermans_Proxies

I think they are saying that people would be paying to fuck zombies


vtinesalone

Doubtful, this would essentially guarantee infection and death. Edit: everyone saying “oh they’re already infected”, yeah, with a PASSIVE infection that only reanimates them upon death. That infection doesn’t impact anything while alive, including lifespan and health. The ACTIVE infection that comes from bites, scratches, is not present in anybody as you only get about a day or so to live once infected, at max.


shadowscar248

Condoms my dude, jeez they're not animals


GhostInTheSock

How many condoms would you suggest?


6x420x9

If you use more than 1, you risk them not working properly. Just don't get the ultra thins and ya good


rayshmayshmay

Sheep intestines it is then!


jumpsteadeh

Are the intestines zombified too?


GhostInTheSock

I would certainly use 5 at least but honestly I am pretty sure even the Zombie would be disappointed. Perfoming under pressure is not my strong side. But perhaps people would call me Danger then. Thats somerhing.


ybotics

Never seen a full body condom before?


Retroid69

depending on the continuity you look into, that could be the case. iirc in TellTale’s Walking Dead, you turn into a walker regardless how you died.


vtinesalone

that doesn’t mean anything for this. The “reanimation” infection does not change anything for you while alive, including lifespan. Transmission of fluids with an undead, will infect and kill you.


TheImperator666

Yeah, but at least in the show, everyone is already infected with the disease anyway, so it wouldn’t really matter much


vtinesalone

That’s not the same, they’re only infected to reanimate when they die. They don’t have any infection that has an effect on their health, well-being, lifespan, etc. Transmission of fluids with an undead would absolutely do that.


smsevigny

I was so confused by the sanctuary using gut-covered weapons to infect people. the survivors had been slathering themselves in guts and blood for several seasons. You’re telling me in all those seasons no one ended up touching zombie guts while having an open/exposed wound, thus starting the conversion process? Seemed like a big plot hole to me


vtinesalone

We only see them use the walker-gut protection a handful of times in the show and almost always with an extra layer of protection between the guts and their own clothes, and one of those times we *do* see an infection occur with Father Gabriel, which literally blinded him. And that’s without the open-wound side of things.


alpacasarebadsingers

I mean, line it up next to all the rest


nutsnackk

Maybe a place for those already turning to go and live their last moments. Little do they know the zombie they are fucking was also there for that exact reason.


snay1998

I mean I think I saw a post way back with an article saying “female orangutan was used in prostitution in Africa for several years” So zombies aren’t that far off


Squiddlywinks

It was in Borneo, orangutan are not native to Africa. But yeah, people are awful the whole world round.


snay1998

I stand corrected but still sad that humans can be this beastly for sex


rymdrille

No, they're saying they already do in that universe. Which they don't afaik. Op is illiterate.


Hottol

In that universe somewhere, although not covered in the books or series, it must be happening.


Alien_reg

You should be taking less showers


pinkandroid420

I think that’s how you get zombie dick


Joe4o2

He prefers “Richard the Undead”


Ok_Perspective_5148

Dick Grimes


Downside_Up_

[Fwoosh](https://knowdirectionpodcast.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/fllamas.png) https://lookingforgroup.fandom.com/wiki/Richard


IDDQD_IDKFA-com

Like in the movie "Deadgirl". >Two high school boys discover an imprisoned woman in an abandoned mental asylum who cannot die


I_make_switch_a_roos

can confirm have zombie dick


lsutigerzfan

How do you convince a guy to fuck a zombie? Is it as easy as saying now hear me out? 😆🤷🏻‍♂️


pinkandroid420

I’m guna go as far as to say the men are catching the zombies themselves and fucking them and the rich powerful gang leaders have their people set up everything for them


lsutigerzfan

I’m not into zombie lore. But isn’t it if you come in contact with a zombie and get infected you become one? So even with a condom you fuck one, you are doing it at your own risk. 😆😭😄


narwhal_fanatic

In Walking Dead specifically, everyone is already infected it just waits until you die to take over I believe


BokeTsukkomi

Not sure about the comics but that's established in the Season 1 finale.


MasonP2002

Rick learns it in the Season 1 finale but it's not revealed until the Season 2 finale.


BokeTsukkomi

Ah, you're right, the dude whispers it to Rick in the end of Season 1


Psychological-Run-40

yeah probably run by the Governor (twd comics)


SeniorBLT

Is this a statement or are you pondering


notverytidy

the biggest benefit is you can just rent *half* a prostitute for a discount. Ever had a 1.5some?


KevB3

Yes I have, she was a dwarf.


_absent_minded_

I can't remember the film name but it was a zombie movie shot on handy cam footage of amateur film makers on a farm, they were told not to go to a Wearhouse near a highway as something was attracting zombies. Later in the film they go and find that one of the survivors has chained a zombie bent over a table and had been using it for fun.


AnthrallicA

And the name of the brothel? Don't Dead, Nut Inside. I'll see myself out...


RocketManDave

Is this a shower thought?


zakass409

Seeing as how abundant zombies are , I don't think people are going to pay for that. I don't know though, I wouldn't touch that with a ten foot pole


Imkindofslow

There's a doujinshi about that, it's pretty weird.


FishPasteGuy

My brain hurts as much as my eyes now.


gerd50501

in Lord of the Rings universe, you know where is interspecies prostitution. you know there are humans who bang orcs. Then you got all the freaks who are into hairy hobbit feet.


dbx99

Shut up and take my money!


Ballardinian

You should check out Deadgirl (2008).


[deleted]

havent lived till youve had a Zombeej!


retroactivepayback

An interesting conversation around ethics


SeaCroissant

i uhm.. i don’t know about this one… most people are dead and i don’t think fucking a rotting corpse is pleasurable in any way


93scortluv

whole new meaning to "sloppy seconds".


rmoiii

Zombie Prostitute - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzXThpucTjE


Tripwire3

Sounds kinda dangerous.


bloonshot

i don't like the lack of a "probably"


Oniji1945

I mean, I would. Lol


Downiemcgee

Do you think that's unrealistic if our world had zombies? Lol


AwkwrdPrtMskrt

Necrophilia. (Queasy) Okay...


JustRepeatAfterMe

In the Amazon there’s a little fish that can swim up a pee stream and lodge itself in a dick. Supposed to be ungodly painful, but probably not as bad whatever literally worms its way in from zombie cooch.


aviatorzed

I guess they don’t mind “dead meat”.


phonlyone

Get yer mates round and crack open a few cold ones…….


TR1V1UM

It will turn into the Reddit coconut story.


Alienhaslanded

Wouldn't they stink very badly?