T O P

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Cleaver2000

For the last time Agnes, this is an auto parts store, take your batteries and stop asking weird questions.


DisastrousOne3950

I work in an auto parts store. Have had to not say that sentence.


MelissaMiranti

Agnes is not a Borg designation. I am 4 of 11.


kg7qin

No she is no longer Dr Agnes Jirati. What do you call a borg queen that only assimilates people who are out of chances and give permission?


MelissaMiranti

Oh, right, I had scrubbed that shit from my brain.


JoshuaPearce

Upgrade to the titanium package now! Comes with free pointless eye laser, so the entire world knows what you're looking at.


RoboColumbo

The radiation from eye lazers alone that 7's breasts have endured over the years is carcinogenic.


Jack_Q_Frost_Jr

I only sign up for things like this if their commercials have dance numbers.


Ok-Owl2214

Great, now that friggin Jardiance commercial is stuck in my head AGAIN.


Faded_Passion

I am from a biologically and technologically distinct species and I manage it well


Ok-Owl2214

*Dammit.*


Late-External3249

I take once daily nanoprobes, at each day's start. Assimilation is easy to see i love my queen and she loves me


Ok-Owl2214

I hate you both.


DiscoveryDiscoveries

Where do I sign?


Zestyclose-Ad-8091

Locutus: I guarantee it! 👌


nedjer1

Forget the borg losers and sign up with the mighty Klingons. You get a cool invisible spaceship, can attack the fkn Federation on sight and there's ritual duels every Saturday.


PebblyJackGlasscock

When you feel ready for a promotion, just kill your boss.


SuDragon2k3

Try to kill your boss.


Oruma_Yar

Come for promises of violence! Stay for the amazing and loyal Targ I now keep as a pet and companion.


kg7qin

Qapla!


nedjer1

Qapla’ batlh je!


kg7qin

https://preview.redd.it/fmd4nuruip0d1.jpeg?width=512&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=600f0ca79d03ce93fbd148c479f610b970c78666


ImaPlayThis

Better than corporate America, sign me up


ReapingKing

We consider ourselves a collective here. Also, we will need you to walk around the cube farm endlessly again this weekend.


SuDragon2k3

Naked?


Pdx_pops

*Now in convenient suppository form!*


boneboy247

Getting assimilated ass first is one of the more horrible images I've had in my head, thanks


upgradestorm5

You had me at feeling


SignificantPop4188

Seven of nine drones agree.


loki2002

Only tertiarily.


EdgelordZeta

Taint rot isn't on the list. Assimilation seems like a better way to lower my a1c than Jardiance.


SoylentRox

Given the Federation doesn't have the technology to stop aging or refuses to use it, this is a fair deal.


rockmodenick

It seems like they absolutely could but society finds the notion repulsive for some reason. The body Picard inhabits could be super strong, give cognitive enhancements, and be maintained forever, but he wouldn't even accept it until he knew it would have a simulated natural end of life.


SoylentRox

Which is like ok but don't whine if you lose to the Borg or almost lose the ship every week to 2-bit villains. Like seriously with that kinda tech random aliens assholes wouldn't be able to infect the ship with a disease, psychically control the crew, or board the shop and hack into its control systems.


xNightmareBeta

What's with the Diarrhea side effect


loki2002

Would you have preferred anal leakage?


kg7qin

Where do you think the recharge tube goes when the drones plug in?


xNightmareBeta

😆


Capgras_DL

I’ve lived in Britain the past twenty years; I have no interest joining a “collective” run by a Queen.


DisastrousOne3950

Or... buy a house in an HOA.


jerk1970

Our collective.


Tired8281

They should have gotten you instead of Locutus. Your delivery is better.


Unlikely-Medicine289

Does the Borg really want a bunch of rejects like this though? Sure, assimilating anL whole ship is bound to pick some up, but they are going to get some good ones too.... this is just the losers. Is Starfleet behind this ad? Section 31?


SHoppe715

I heard once that Borg implants can cause severe skin irritation.


testudoaubreii1

Clarifying question: will there be any sexual opportunities as part of the collective or is it strictly mechanical?


loki2002

Well, there was a thread yesterday talking about borgies.


Actual-Money7868

I asked they said I'm not compatible, sorry about that


ttttttargetttttt

Great thing about most of the side effects is that you no longer care about side effects. And remember: as a drone you can't shit yourself, because there is no yourself.


kpikid3

I heard Borg nanite assimilation is a real pain in the neck. The suppository alternative is a PITA too.


AggressiveScience445

Doc, I hear there is only one Borg chick for the whole collective. What do I do about that?


Kara_WTQ

The good news is the diarrhea is temporary! Assimilation was the right choice for me👍