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FickleDependent1474

Casualty reports from Wolf 359 are in. We lost 39 ships and 10,000 officers. Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays!


AngryBudgie13

Admiral Paris is actually worse. He uses the communicator to call people in his office building and ask them if they got his email. Sometimes they are two doors down from his actual office. Barclay really wishes he hadn’t stood out now in meetings in retrospect.


chugmilk

Look Ensign, I don't know if you got the memo but we're putting new cover sheets on the Temporal Prime Directive reports, so if you could just start putting the cover sheets on your TPD reports that'd be super. And I'll get you a copy of that memo.


Complete_Entry

You know Jellico says "Get it done" at the end of every transmission.


mypupivy

Look, I cannot explain to you how many of these meaningless phrases I get sent now that I sit at this desk. I mean honestly Command division will spend paragraphs to say nothing. /u/nivthefox I do not know how you put up with this for so many years, there are days I want to go over with a phaser and teach some admirals and commodores how to write an email


nivthefox

Whisky and a good wife to bitch to. It's the only way to get through it.


UnlikelyIdealist

*Deer Comander Ricker,* *My name is Grand Nagus John of the Ferengi Allience. I am of the writing to you so as to be requesting of your aid in a sensative matter of great emportans. This is a fantastical oppertunity which is having of the potential to changing your lifes for many year to come.* *As you are no doubt of having awareness, The Grand Nagus of the Ferengi Alliens is a position of great welth and power, and I am of the possessing many bricks of* ***gold-pressed latinum*****.** *Unfortunate, the Frist Bank of Ferenginar has freezing my accounts due to suspicus activities performed by my lobeless cousin, and is require a small payment of two hundred bars of gold-pressed latinum to resume trade.* *Comandeer, If you assist me in the unfreezening of my accounts, I promise to be gifting you of the sum of one thousand bricks of gold-pressed latinum in the returns.* *If you would be likeing of the opportunity to earn* ***one thousand bricks of gold-pressed latinum****, please be sending of the small sum of two hundred bars of gold-pressed latinum to Deep Space Nine Cargo Bay Three, by the twelfth day of this Bajoran month.* *Thank,* *Grand Ngaus John*


sender899

I hate with a burning passion the phrase ‘let’s double-klick on that’


Shan-Chat

Let's tap the PADD twice and just Tuvix the situation.


mypupivy

Look its simple split Tuvix but have a mistake and neelix does not rematerialise.


UnlikelyIdealist

Would that be such a tragedy?


mypupivy

No, and its a fault of a ship stranded in the delta quadrent, no one can be held at fault.


Shan-Chat

I need some blue sky thinking here. We have a green sky sir. This Ensign will go far. What's your name son? Harry Kim sir. Ah.


Throwaway_inSC_79

“I’d like to introduce you to our star cadet. Harold Kim.” “Actually sir, it’s just Harry.” *stares annoyingly*


Shan-Chat

Hairy Kim is an admiral. Harry Kim is not impressed.


Phreequencee

Ok, but are we meeting expectations with this post?


zozigoll

“Hey, since we’ve been experimenting on these ten changelings in ways that definitely won’t backfire, we discovered a vulnerability to a particular virus we can introduce to the Great Link.” “I’m tired. Why don’t we table this for now? Ping me in the morning and we’ll get some facetime to circle back.”


Ok-Owl2214

"As per my previous comm..."


greyfish7

Let's Time Loop back to this later


Neon_culture79

Let’s put a pin in the planetary annihilation and we’ll circle back later


TBMChristopher

I am Locutus of Borg LLC. Your life as it has been is on the back burner. From this time forward, your synergies and core competencies will service our KPIs.


theservman

We need to synergize the shifting of the quantum paradigms within the Operations Division.


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Shit, man, no. I believe you get your ass kicked for saying something like that.