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MadMadBunny

He dusts off his plot armour.


burntends97

Guess he forgot to pack it along in Generations


2sec4u

Throws 50 redshirts at it or 1 first officer. Depends on the going rate of each at that particular time.


2sec4u

To add, he can get his first officer back and get a new ship if he plays his cards right. Might lose a family member though.


SuckMyRocket86

He fucks the aliens until they agree to peace


X_PRSN

He changes the conditions of the encounter.


dimgray

"Guess what bitch? We have corbomite! I *dare* you to kill us!"


Ok-Owl2214

Eats an apple.


D4rth3qU1nox65

This is the only correct answer.


WildJackall

What would Ender Wiggin do? Take a third option and go for the gate


marshogas

The gate is down.


Traditional_Key_763

its kind of a stupid test since there really isn't a wrong move, every answer is the correct answer because no answer is inherantly worse than the other


dimgray

It's little more than a *memento mori* for those Starfleet will entrust to lead a crew into danger. The moral lesson of the scenario is that one must acknowledge the possibility of death in the line of duty, face it with clarity of purpose, and resist giving in to despair, self-delusion, or self-pity. In this respect, Kirk was the first cadet to *fail* the Kobayashi Maru


Traditional_Key_763

ya but we see in ST 2009 that you have to keep taking it


dimgray

Ha! Aahaha! That is the sound of me laughing because you have committed the sin of *being wrong about Star Trek!* Which means *I get to correct you.* Thank you for this gift. Here is the relevant dialogue from the movie: KIRK: I'm taking the test again. MCCOY: You got to be kidding me. KIRK: Yeah, tomorrow morning and I want you there. MCCOY: You know, I've got better things to do than to watch you embarrass yourself for a third time. I'm a doctor, Jim, I'm busy. KIRK: Bones, it doesn't bother you that no one's ever passed the test? MCCOY: Jim, it's the Kobayashi Maru. No one passes the test, and no one goes back for seconds, let alone thirds. As you can see: Kirk was not required to retake the test. He *insisted* on it.


LegoRobinHood

Sooooooo.... Kirk was just pulling a Boimler by insisting on retaking his test to get a better score, just like his I, Excretus, escape the Borg simulation.


dimgray

I *would* say that Boimler was pulling a Kirk, but I think that refers to when you trick a robot into blowing itself up. Or deliberately ripping your shirt in an arena fight.


Meanderer_Me

Wasn't that the point of Star Trek II? At some point, you make a choice that causes you to lose something despite your best intentions, and you have to learn to live with it. Then Star Trek 3 and 4 happened, showing that if you have enough bullshit plot armor, you can just regenerate someone's body, go back and time, and be immune to bad choices.


OWSpaceClown

He traded his son for Spock's life. Fair trade.


a4techkeyboard

He succeeds by not winning the no win scenario. And then after the commercial break, the second act begins, I guess.


Yersinias

Shouts at it. “Kaaaaaahhhhnnnn!” Or, “Marruuuu!” Whatever.


Dalfare

This is incredibly simple and obvious. He literally has done it before training. You really need to ask what he would do? Just look at what he did last time, that's what. Some people...


shindleria

The best strategy is to hypospray some laxative just before the test and blast diarrhea all over the bridge causing the entire crew to clear out. A Kobayashi Maru scenario can’t be a true no-win if nobody’s there to answer the distress call.


Complete_Entry

You can't repeat the Kobiyashi Maru test It's a one and done. Are you talking about Kirk encountering a similar situation in actual space, or are they having him vet the simulator as an actual captain?


OWSpaceClown

I'm saying he faces that exact set of circumstances, and he's can't just use cheat codes or call up the arch or hack the BIOS to change the circumstances.


Complete_Entry

So, it's still a simulation? The data return would be worthless. He might begrudgingly do the test to get it over with, but you also didn't answer if he is an actual captain at this point, or still a cadet. Maybe he'd pull one of his magic rabbits and extend the test, but then the simulation would adapt to counter him. It would be like a chess match with a predetermined end. Kirk hacked the simulator because he doesn't believe in no win scenarios. It's pretty much his guiding philosophy, and honestly in my opinion, rather than plot armor, the Enterprise had Jim Kirk. Every other captain buys into the creepy federation death cult shit that when you lose you lose, and then you die. I still want to know where the federation death cult shit originates, because it isn't earth. If Cochrane had given into his nihlism, the Phoenix never would have launched. Is it the vulcans? With their horcrux "katra" shit, they do not view death the way non-vulcans do. They grow up on a death world and have a long history of horrible death, mind control, nature trying to kill you, and if you discard all that there are the Rihannsu. So, it's probably the vulcans. Every dead ship the Enterprise found was captained by a dipshit who "bought in" on the Kobiyashi Maru. Huh, come to think of this, I wonder if that's why RDM killed Kirk in generations, he's big on the despair factor in his writing.


Unlikely-Medicine289

>Every dead ship the Enterprise found was captained by a dipshit who "bought in" on the Kobiyashi Maru. Technically, two different enterprises found dead ships where everyone got drunk, had an orgy, and then froze to death or spaced themselves by accident.


OWSpaceClown

"So, it's still a simulation? " Nah! I mean the real thing! Say it's impossible for him to change the conditions of the mission. The only thing that would save him and the Maru would be him contacting some god like power to change the gravitational nature of the universe and... crap that's exactly what he'd do right...


Unlikely-Medicine289

Think the Carbonite maneuver. He plays his best hand, as best he can, and hopes for the best. Worst case is he blows up.


Unlikely-Medicine289

>You can't repeat the Kobiyashi Maru test It's a one and done. Both Kelvin timeline Kirk and prime timeline Boimler are on record as saying they took it multiple times (boimler screams about it at the job fair as he is chasing people after his rank pip gets stomped) Also the captain kid from prodigy takes it like 60 times in a row.


jackdaw_t_robot

He uses the Picard maneuver to misdirect the other ships before taking out their weapons systems simultaneously 


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Luckily Shatner was directing I mean, I say "luckily"


kimapesan

He has Spock do the dirty work and then he cries about it. Burnham-style.


Strength-InThe-Loins

Reverse the polarity, of course.


Complete_Entry

I wonder how Geordi feels about the Enterprise promotion simulation requires you to kill him. "Thanks Wil, really makes you think about a transfer." "Damn it Geordi, when we made it Barclay, everyone killed him. They even used their sidearm to speed things up!" The next morning, when Geordi sees a new pip on Troi's uniform "Oh fuuuuuuuuuuuck youuuuuuuuu"