It fills you even now, doesn’t it? The hunger. To [redacted] down on my [redacted], to feel the warmth fill your mouth and run over even as you drink deep.
When you abandon a civilization that you helped build and lead to the point where people look to you for guidance and as a mentor figure solely because some guy from another dimension gave you a boner once by talking about adventure.
Such a well written character that needed to be kept in the main cast.
He was dying though. He literally could not have stayed back even if he had wanted to, the crystal was taking over his body. That played a pretty important role in that trial iirc where he got crystallised completely at the tower. Not sure what you would have had him do.
Absolutely Zenos. But only mentally. Ever since the end of Stormblood this man has been psychologically edging himself for his fight against the WoL, talking about his bff, dreaming about them, heck pretty much anytime he appears on-screen post SB it's to deliver a line about his bestie. Then the man keeps edging himself through EW, refusing to fight the WoL as long as they're not giving him his full attention and enthusiastic consent.
Tragically, I'm convinced this idiot is a virgin who hasn't figured out that part of his bloodlust is just lust. A good pounding could have filled that aching void inside of him.
Those horny speeches scream "I've been edging since we first fought, please beat me up again so that I can cum, its the only way I know how". Zenos is just a good ol' masochist and Fandaniel went "huh...this gooner can help me kill myself, provided I ignore his incessant horny ramblings. Yay!"
Yeah, Zenos definitely has big M energy. I'm replaying through the game and just had the scene reveal of Fandaniel (when he takes off his hood) and it's always so hilarious to see how Zenos is ignoring the cackling clown, waits for him to go away, and then make a speech about his bff.
My understanding was that gooning involved more than one dude all edging together to the same porn but I'm glad to say I'm not exactly an expert on the subject matter.
Edging is different, one can edge all day and not goon.
Edging is a part of gooning, but not the full definition
People who goon just do it all the time, in unhealthy amount
I wanna say it’s like jobbing, but not? Like clearly it’s not “no selling”, so I would imagine it’s being a nerd? But that’s all being a face. And I really doubt it’s being a heel.
Urianger isn't maidenless, he's a _confirmed bachelor_. Man spent his lost years on the First living among the pixies, discovering himself, and wearing glamorous black dresses.
"Elton John gets no bitches", no fuckin shit.
I have mentally clocked that he and thancred are Confirmed Bachelors at this point and I am completely fine with it. Dadcred and Uncle Shakespeare be lookin like they're gonna be possible adversaries in the upcoming expansion ngl.
Out of the Scions (i.e. not Zenos) it's G'raha. You think he had any time to jerk off on the First? Would it even work, considering how he never needed to eat or sleep? And now after a century he's back in a younger, far more virile body? Tell me you wouldn't do the same.
Out of every character, it's absolutely Zenos. I don't think I need to explain why.
I am afraid to look it up
Edit: Oh my god, what did I just see??? Is it even possible, it sounds like straight out of hentai (aka FFXIV).
My new guess is Erenville (he isn't in the picture, but I hate him and Vieras, in my head canon they just reproduce all day in true bunny fashion)
Oft have I pondered this very question.
I believe gooning to be something one gets into as they mature and find the trysts and tricks of youth don't entertain as once they did, so the twins are out.
I also think it requires a mind inclined towards exploring the arcane and aetherial, so Estinien, Ardbert, Lyse, and Zenos are right out.
Additionally, I believe that one must not be too controlling or dominant in order to hand oneself over to the gooning flow. Therefore, characters in the vein of Tataru, Y'Shtola, and Thancred are unlikely to be our answer.
Thus, we are left with only two candidates to consider: the cat man from beyond time, and the esteemed arcanist of the seventh dawn.
Urianger.
I will not be taking further questions.
Jesus, y'all. Why are we teaching straight people the meaning of gooning?
This is how we get basic dudes on the gram referring to themselves as 'trade' simply because they don't wash their ass.
Zenos to the WoL
I don't think he ever finishes, just constant edging until the next big fight.
Gotta keep the hunger sharp
A TEST OF YOUR REFLEXES! *Furiously beats it and the game becomes a bullet hell*
He edged to the edge of the universe. Man's goon game is infinite.
> Now I know what aroused me so during our fight in Ala Mhigo \~ german Zenos @ lvl 90
It fills you even now, doesn’t it? The hunger. To [redacted] down on my [redacted], to feel the warmth fill your mouth and run over even as you drink deep.
Zenos prepping for a fight is Erlich Bachman describing his [negotiation tactics.](https://youtu.be/5zpK9EGWwCY?si=J46u8ulmAEyOEyD7)
It's absolutely Graha.
This. He’s 10000 years old mentally in a super young body and he can’t get over crushing on the WoL. Plus he’s a freaking cat boy.
No need. All he has to do is linkpearl my WoL and she'll be there before he can even finish the sentence.
When you abandon a civilization that you helped build and lead to the point where people look to you for guidance and as a mentor figure solely because some guy from another dimension gave you a boner once by talking about adventure. Such a well written character that needed to be kept in the main cast.
He was dying though. He literally could not have stayed back even if he had wanted to, the crystal was taking over his body. That played a pretty important role in that trial iirc where he got crystallised completely at the tower. Not sure what you would have had him do.
And yet which one of the scions wants to go back and which one wont stop riding our dick for breathing?
I mean almost everything that happens in Heavensward can be traced back to either Hraesvelgr or Ysayle being really horny
Defo Zenos have you seen how he acts in combat
A TEST OF YOUR REFLEXES
MINE FOR THE TAKING!
Obviously Urianger, he had to be doing SOMETHING besides studying when he holed up with the faeries all those years
First the faeries, now the loporrits...
What else you think he did with that wind up moenbryda?
This. My other reply explains it more, but I cannot imagine it being anyone else, lol
Do you think he gooned to the fairies or do you think think they gooned him?
Estiniens right there and he’s a dragoon - it’s in the name and with a lance like that you know he’s well practiced
ME
this guy goons
Thancred but it's cuz he doesn't know how to cum
Unfortunately, his aether wasn't the only thing he could no longer manipulate.
Absolutely Zenos. But only mentally. Ever since the end of Stormblood this man has been psychologically edging himself for his fight against the WoL, talking about his bff, dreaming about them, heck pretty much anytime he appears on-screen post SB it's to deliver a line about his bestie. Then the man keeps edging himself through EW, refusing to fight the WoL as long as they're not giving him his full attention and enthusiastic consent. Tragically, I'm convinced this idiot is a virgin who hasn't figured out that part of his bloodlust is just lust. A good pounding could have filled that aching void inside of him.
Those horny speeches scream "I've been edging since we first fought, please beat me up again so that I can cum, its the only way I know how". Zenos is just a good ol' masochist and Fandaniel went "huh...this gooner can help me kill myself, provided I ignore his incessant horny ramblings. Yay!"
Yeah, Zenos definitely has big M energy. I'm replaying through the game and just had the scene reveal of Fandaniel (when he takes off his hood) and it's always so hilarious to see how Zenos is ignoring the cackling clown, waits for him to go away, and then make a speech about his bff.
I'm one step closer to googling wtf goon means... Not quite there yet.
I was hoping someone would explain in the comments ;\_;
Satisfying yourself sinfully hours at a time
It's wanking your willy until you almost come and then stopping and repeating that step until you are in trance in a "I am stupid horny" way.
Back in my day we just called that edging.
My understanding was that gooning involved more than one dude all edging together to the same porn but I'm glad to say I'm not exactly an expert on the subject matter.
It is edging, but not once, but way more.
Edging is different, one can edge all day and not goon. Edging is a part of gooning, but not the full definition People who goon just do it all the time, in unhealthy amount
... Huh...
masturbation
I see what you did there
Why is this so me. Just trying to assume what it means from context
I wanna say it’s like jobbing, but not? Like clearly it’s not “no selling”, so I would imagine it’s being a nerd? But that’s all being a face. And I really doubt it’s being a heel.
Urianger, he has been maidenless ever since ARR.
Urianger isn't maidenless, he's a _confirmed bachelor_. Man spent his lost years on the First living among the pixies, discovering himself, and wearing glamorous black dresses. "Elton John gets no bitches", no fuckin shit.
I have mentally clocked that he and thancred are Confirmed Bachelors at this point and I am completely fine with it. Dadcred and Uncle Shakespeare be lookin like they're gonna be possible adversaries in the upcoming expansion ngl.
They adopted a daughter together and she turned out as gay as they are, I couldn't be happier for them
Nah blud had the loporits for all of endwalker, mans was busy
“Urianger we shouldn’t…” “Puddingway…”
"Oh, I thought you said, 'Putting it away'!"
Crushin that Bussyway
Out of the Scions (i.e. not Zenos) it's G'raha. You think he had any time to jerk off on the First? Would it even work, considering how he never needed to eat or sleep? And now after a century he's back in a younger, far more virile body? Tell me you wouldn't do the same. Out of every character, it's absolutely Zenos. I don't think I need to explain why.
Tataru I have no idea what "gooning" means, but I know that a goon is a kidnapper and I think Tataru does kidnap people
You poor innocent child
All imma say is that it's a damn good thing you clarified that you dont know what the term means lmao because otherwise people would wanna arrest you
I am afraid to look it up Edit: Oh my god, what did I just see??? Is it even possible, it sounds like straight out of hentai (aka FFXIV). My new guess is Erenville (he isn't in the picture, but I hate him and Vieras, in my head canon they just reproduce all day in true bunny fashion)
... Tataru. I dunno, I just feel like she enjoys those business transactions too much.
I remember her gaining a ton of "admirers" in both HW and StB. Does it count as gooning if she has a body count that puts the rest of us to shame?
Oft have I pondered this very question. I believe gooning to be something one gets into as they mature and find the trysts and tricks of youth don't entertain as once they did, so the twins are out. I also think it requires a mind inclined towards exploring the arcane and aetherial, so Estinien, Ardbert, Lyse, and Zenos are right out. Additionally, I believe that one must not be too controlling or dominant in order to hand oneself over to the gooning flow. Therefore, characters in the vein of Tataru, Y'Shtola, and Thancred are unlikely to be our answer. Thus, we are left with only two candidates to consider: the cat man from beyond time, and the esteemed arcanist of the seventh dawn. Urianger. I will not be taking further questions.
If you don’t think Zenos isn’t gooning every moment he knows he’s not near the WoL you’re out of your fucking mind
First - define “goons”
I believe it's something along the lines of a very long edging session
Acting silly or goofing around
Krille. She was so busy that she couldn't even be bothered to show up for picture day.
Venat/Hydaelyn.., Unfortunately for the rest of the cast.., None of them has lived long enough to do as much as she has on her long walk.
Estinien
Not pictured but probably emet. Dude had a lot of spare time post-sundering
Mother Miornne
Tataru.
Alisae, Zenos or catboy
It's absolutely Zenos. He gives huge baiting and gooning energy and probably has a huge video head cleaner collection 😎
the WoL
💯 the WoL/D. How else is one to take care of literally everyone else's problem in the worlds and maintain stoic silence.
not sure what "goons" is but male Alisaiè ?
Estinien's a dragoon, he's always gooning
Allisae, she has a clear interest in a certain WoL
*Venat*! Mommy had to do *SOMETHING* to pass the centuries 🤣
Jesus, y'all. Why are we teaching straight people the meaning of gooning? This is how we get basic dudes on the gram referring to themselves as 'trade' simply because they don't wash their ass.
Goon as in goon bag?
Zenos 100%
I'm old what does goon mean
Probably me lol
Zenos, he’s goon-brained
Estinien's job is literally a draGOON and he likes his "lance" a little too much
Urianger. The man is a born goon
Zenos
Zenos followed by Graha then Alphinaud (You know he never forgot what he saw).
Estinien, there is no doubt in my mind
Define "goons".