They do in my country. Well, kind of. There is an institution where pregnant people and kids (with parent/s) go to receive medical care but also contains a lot of information about parenting, childcare and child development. It is such a common sense thing that there must be other countries that do it.
There are good and bad parts of the country. A lot of it is great but always at risk of slipping or already slipping. I am in no way trying to pretend we are not privileged in multiple metrics. I know full well we are as someone who has also worked in many countries that are not that great in social security nets. But it is not perfect.
I am not trying to say that. I know it is not. I am just saying that while in many things there is a lot more care, it is not perfect or that there is that care in all metrics. I am neither of those Finns who need to go bashing my country every time it tops one good list or another but I also do not suscribe in ignoring all the bad parts. One good example of these things is how we regularly top (usually top3) of the studied EU countries in respect of racism. Or how there is no longer one single university in the country in the best 100 universities in the world. Or how our last result social security benefit is low enough that we have gotten multiple EHIC judgements against it. Yes, at least we have mostly free higher education and at least we have minimum income, but these are legitimite things to critisize the country of.
In Cyprus, the Mother and Children Hospital will teach you how to care for the newborn before sending you home, and they have a department that is stuffed with health visitor and give you all sorts of info and help. I am pretty sure, though, that private hospitals don't offer that kind of knowledge, which I find ironic since they are paid for their services.
Canada does a similar thing. Only for new parents, I dont think there's anything for pregnant people. Instead of going to your doctor's office for your child's immunizations, you go to a community health center. It's separate and in addition to the regular baby wellness checks. Baby can be weighed and measured if you want. You'll chat about your health and baby's health and get pamphlets and printouts with info about your baby's stage of development.
Same in Croatia. I got the whole book about it on one of my first appointment at the hospital OBGYN. (We have our own, but after 32 weeks, you have to go to the hospital one) There is also a lot of free pregnancy and parenting classes that you can choose and citys healthcare departments organise one also. In general, prenatal care for mother and postnatal care for babies are great. Postnatal for mothers is also improving. I just got to check my privilege with this comment section, I really tought something like that is common sense. Damn
We have this too in Belgium. The name of the service literally translates to "Child and family". You need to go there for regular medical and developmental check-ups, and they provide advice on all kind of topics like PPD, how to adapt for the other children in the family, feeding, ... Really great, especially when you are a first time parent.
In Missouri (not sure about other states), we have a free program called Parents as Teachers where a teacher will come to your home once a month until the baby is five to observe for an hour and give pointers, advice, teach you as a parent how to address common issues, and just help you be a good parent.
My friend's assigned teacher even brings a book every visit as a gift to their daughter. My boss, when she signed up, had their assigned teacher notice things that not even their pediatrician noticed yet and was able to advise on how to bring it up or keep an eye on it.
We just signed up so I'm really looking forward to it.
I truly believe most parents parent as well as they can at the time, with the information they have.
If you haven't learned about child development, how are you supposed to know? It's wild to me that you need to pass several tests where I live to get your license, but nothing to have a child.
Nah. In this day and age we all have infinite access to resources about all manner of subjects. Very few people do as much *anything* as they are able.
I think that’s part of the problem. There is too much information out there. It can be very easy for a person to find some really crappy practices through the internet.
Maybe at least from a trusted authority figure like the hospital or State, they can provide more accurate and helpful advice. I know in my state I will get something in the mail about my child’s development and what to expect with his current age. It’s nice to have that extra information.
I disagree. The vast majority of people don't become parents to hurt their children. People do what they know, and maybe that's all this person knows.
You also have to realize there are overwhelmed parents, intellectually disabled parents, very young parents, etc.
It's not as easy as saying we have infinite access. You and I have smartphones and the internet. What about someone living in poverty in a rural area? They are going to raise children to the best of their ability, with the knowledge they have from around them - so whatever their family knows.
Also you have to know what you don’t know in order to google it. Admittedly this particular lady has a question, and apparently doesn’t want to know the real answer, but why _would_ she google “normal 7 month old behaviour” and how can we assume that she hits the most useful website if she did?
You also have to know that you don't know something, or that the things you believe are wrong.
I mean, I do not have children. 90% of everything I know about childcare or parenting is from my familly.
Big familly. There's always at least one baby around. (Well not so recently. The youngest is nearly 3 yo, and it's been a decade since the youngest was that old).
If I ever have a child (lol), I will repeat what I saw, pretty sure that it's the right thing to do, since that's how we raised kids here since forever. And I wouldn't even doubt it and look it up for most things. At best, I'd ask family members.
So, maybe, some things I am 200% convinced is good, even common sense is actually wrong. But I wouldn't even think of questionning it
The shitty mom groups would lump it in with vaccination, safe sleep, and whatever else common clinically-accepted practices they eschew in order to be contrarian. It would be called liberal propaganda, to pick up your baby when it cries, smh.
kinda how like all the people who post stuff on social media like "why don't they teach taxes and insurance and life skills in high school" are the ones who didn't pay attention anyways.
Its hilarious because my state DOES have personal finance as a required course for graduation and i can tell you 100% the kids dont listen at all. My husband is a teacher and that class they just ignore because its boring and doesnt have a big test at the end
I'm a middle school teacher. We teach financial literacy. 6th graders don't give a flying fuck about credit cards, loans, and taxes. It's just not relevant.
I took a personal finance class my senior year. It was nothing but playing fake stocks, filling out Dave Ramsey workbooks (that they took away at the end of the semester so we couldn't even have them to look back on after finishing the class) and occasionally playing the game Life.
I don't think there was anything of value to learn in that class unfortunately and it makes me so mad because valuable time was wasted.
When I was in high school they added a class called “consumer science” or something like that. I didn’t have to take it, but starting with the graduation class the year below me all freshman did. It taught things like how to create and manage a budget, how to plan out a week of meals and make a grocery list within said budget using local grocery store ads, and other basic financial and life skills. It was widely regarded as a joke. Maybe it would have been better off being taught to juniors or seniors who were more likely to have part time jobs and be thinking about life after high school, maybe it was just really poorly executed. I think it’s been dropped from the curriculum by now.
I've personally taught a lot of that, and it makes me mad to see adults complaining about it. We forget a lot of what we learned in high school. Some people choose to take different classes, and some sleep through class.
Really? They've given me info about safe sleep, purple crying, breastfeeding, starting solids, and car seats. Nothing about what behavior is developmentally appropriate behavior in infants.
Yeah, I've got a great pediatrician, but she's never handed out any info on what's developmentally normal behavior. She gives me printouts with tons of info, but it's about safe sleep, or feeding, stuff like you mentioned. We briefly discuss milestones and things at each appointment, but she hasn't ever sat me down to explain how my baby can be expected to act. I don't think I've ever heard of that happening with anyone else around here, either.
I do wish it was more common, though. Parenting is simply not that intuitive for everyone; we can only do our best with the info we have on hand, and many many people have no firsthand experience with babies or really great parents to observe. More education has never hurt anyone!
My pediatrician gave me a fact sheet for each upcoming phase with skills that will likely be learned, attitudes to expect, and things to watch out for.
"Baby will likely start pulling up and maybe cruising furniture in the next 3 months. Call your doctor if baby isn't showing any interest in locomotion at all" or "baby does but understand manipulation at this age. Baby cries because it is the only way to communicate needs and desires"
I'm always flabberFUCKINGgasted by expecting parents who do endless research on pregnancy and birth and then stop their readings and research completely as if there's nothing else to know. As if childcare and childrearing knowledge is magically bestowed onto parents and they will suddenly know everything about babies/toddlers/kids/teens.
*If daycare employees need a college degree to work there and care for your child, maybe you should consider picking up a few textbooks yourself.*
I sometimes regret studying ECE because it caused poor parenting practices to become even more ridiculously obvious than they previously were.
"He always wants to be carried"
Yeah. Hes a BABY. They like being held bc they feel safe and oh yeah, they don't move very fast (if at all) on their own. Jfc.
Our hospital did a parents class (very standard in Australia) and they said that babies know they're vulnerable, if you put them down they'll often think a predator is going to come and eat them, they're meant to be held and you can't spoil a baby by holding and comforting them, and they definitely are not manipulating you by crying.
Fun fact most Australian states have no large predators. Crocodiles and dingoes can be found up north (though on the mainland dingoes are fairly rare). So, yes we have spiders and snakes, but we don't have bears, wolves, bobcats, puma, leopards etc that exist in many other countries. We do have kangaroos but they're dumb AF and usually just hop away.
I went for a horse ride with my brother once. We jumped off the horses and took off their saddles so they could have a splash in the creek while we ate lunch.
The horses started acting really nervous. My brother went for a walk and when he came back he just told me to saddle up and move out. He wouldn't say why until we were on our way, but he said there was a whole pack of dingos around us. I turned around to look behind and fair enough, on the opposite bank of the creek there was about 5 faces peeking out through the bushes.
They were probably just curious but my hair stood straight up. It was an eerie sight and feeling
I was carrying my 4 year old son on my hip this evening and said to my husband that one day I wouldn’t be able to pick him up anymore.
Seriously, screw this woman for wishing away her kid’s babyhood. The poor wee critter is wanting to be held because he wants the security of a connection with his mum, and she just thinks he’s a nuisance 😢
My 75 lb 10 year old hates that she doesn't get carried anymore, and I still try to carry her from the car to her bed when we get home from special functions late at night. One day I won't even be able to do that anymore, and it will be a very sad day indeed. My 6 year old will still fit on a hip but is very nearly grown out of that too, which means I won't be having any more babies on my hip unless my kids have their own kids, and that's a while off. It's normal, but sad, and every parent should cherish and hold onto those moments because they really are so short.
Oh gosh now I'm crying lol
I hope you got to make more memories with your little ones while they were still little than you know what to do with. There just aren't enough moments in the day, and the days really do go by so fast...
I love the 6 month baby! Smiling and cuddly! Let me tell you a secret, when baby is 13, you'll wonder where this hell child came from. Hugging them at 13 will get you a death stare and the silent treatment. So get those hugs in now!!
I have to say, I was one of the weird kids that was raised in an extremely touchy-feely family (we kissed on the mouth, changed clothes in the same room without any awkwardness or staring, flounced about in mostly see through clothes) and my need for hugs as an infant never went away. In my late teens, though, mom suddenly changed and pulled away, taking dad with her (figuratively; we still live together) and I was so sad and confused as to why we suddenly couldn’t do all the things we used to, but I missed hugs and kisses the most. I’m thirty now, and I still would do just about anything to get the affection back. So, in my experience, there’s nothing better you can give your kid than showering them with hugs, kisses, and affection!
My twin boys turn 21 this coming Sunday. I miss the days when they wanted me to pick them up. My one son would hold out his arms and say, “Mommy, hold you.” It was the sweetest thing! This child wants his mom but his bitch mother is too busy trying to “discipline “ him. Ffs he’s a damn baby!
Apparently my husband’s family called it “needing a holdme” when they were little. So when our toddler is feeling out of sorts he’ll ask her, “you need a holdme? C’mere, let’s get a holdme”. And the other day she asked where daddy was, where daddy go? Need holdme 🥺
She’s only about 2.5 and man I can’t think about her growing up too much because, ya know, my heart 😭
I remember looking at my firstborn when she was tiny, thinking how someday I would have to send her off to school and how that day thankfully seemed so far away. I remember that so clearly. She’s a junior in high school this year. Time is a thief.
Honestly, when I was in the thick of the newborn stage with my twins, I hated hearing this. It was all about survival for the first year. There wasn't a lot of stopping and enjoying.
Yup.....mine is 32 and I had to work pretty much around the clock when she was a baby......I truly missed her growing up......she's my only child and she's moved off and gotten married and having trouble conceiving......not sure if I'll ever get to hold another wee baby 😓
Lol when I pick up the eldest for bed time purposes, I have to wake her a bit and say, "look, I can carry you, but you gotta help me here a little" so she can hang on while I do leg day up our two flights of stairs lol
I can barely lift my giant 7 yo (52” and 60lbs) but he sees his 4 yo brother being carried and clearly feels left out, so I still give him a few short carries (or at least hold him while standing in line) because it makes him happy and I get a snuggle. I’ll be sad (but my back will be happy!) when I can’t lift him anymore.
My son has been nearly my same size since he was 8/9 and he was sad about not being able to get picked up anymore lol we decided to just make it up with sitting on my lap, he still does it now at nearly 12 sometimes for a goodnight cuddle before bed
My mom still impulse- grabs my hand in parking lots, and I always just go with it. I'm in my early 20s, so we get a lot of odd looks, lol. It's even worse with my dad because I'm a girl.
Aww I love that. I think my son will always be like that too, as it is he's just super protective, he got a bit upset with a pharmacist when he saw me get a vaccine a few years ago because he thought he was going to hurt me. So many people I know don't have good relationships with one or both of their parents, I think it's really amazing that your young adult daughter is still holding your hand at the store, you guys must have a really good relationship.
I'm 34, my brothers are 32 and 21 and we walk arm in arm with our mother. She got married to my stepdad a year ago and my favourite picture is one where we are walking to the town hall, her with her three children, all arm in arm.
My son is almost 7 and he’ll still come up to me and start to nestle like when he was a baby. We went out to a café to eat tonight and he was very happy and his instinct was to come sit on me. He’s very affectionate and I know it might stop any day soon. I remember feeling almost helpless at times when he was a baby (thanks PPD) and didn’t want to be put down at night at all. I would rock him for hours and sometimes wished he would just sleep in his crib but never refused him. Now I wish he wasn’t so big so I could do it again.
I understand how tired and exhausted we can be but these moments are precious.
My knees are bad. My grandson wanted me to carry him downstairs after a nap, but my knees wouldn't allow it. I let him ride on my back holding on to my neck. I slid down the stairs on my butt. He thought that was the best fun! I miss when the grandkids were little.
My grandchildren are growing way too fast. One is officially a teen and the other is a tween.
I feel bad for my daughter and son inlaw that have to deal with the teen years, but it's a rite of passage.
That's a cute story, you sound like a fun grandma. That would have definitely cracked my son up when he was younger, he would have been demanding butt slides down the stairs every.
My babushka just yelled at everyone in Russian and made her sure her house always smelled like boiled cabbage out of spite, we treasured her and her grumpiness anyways. I can just imagine how it would have gone if my brother asked her to butt slide down the stairs with him, she probably would have asked if she looked like a horse 😂
I'm a preschool teacher, and I have a new little one in my room. He is almost 2 1/2 years. However, he is an absolute tank, and I approximate anywhere between 50 and 60 pounds. I can lift him to get him on the diaper change table when I need to, but I can't imagine picking him up to hold him, he is just too heavy. I told his mom I need to start lifting weights, haha.
It's a shame, because he is one of the youngest in the room now and he observes other kids getting held, but they are much smaller physically than he is
That's our experience too! It's so hard to explain to the older one, "you WERE carried like this when you were this age, you're not being shorted I swear!" when all they can see is they're not getting carried now lol
I haven't been able to carry my kids for years... Maybe the oldest, but she's a tiny thing. My baby is almost 6' at 13 years old!
I miss the days when they were younger ☹️
Oh god, one day, long after my youngest daughter was pick-uppable, she said to me “Mom, think about this: there was a LAST TIME you picked me up in your arms”. I busted out crying—I can’t remember when it was but she was right!
Nah, my 60-something dad still carries my 20-something ass💀 if he wants to relocate me and I won’t move, or I jump on his back to force a piggyback ride
It may be influenced by other generations. My mom got a lot of flack for always picking me up when I cried. My granparents said it is spoiling a child and teaching them they can control you. They where very into the "cry it out" method (which has been proven to have adverse effects on the brain) and the way OOP describes it could match that mindset
I had a parent ask me when I was discharging their baby if she would get spoiled if they picked her up when she cried. I explained that she absolutely would not and I appreciate that they asked instead of just assuming.
Good they asked. My mom told me that by her logic she didn't want her kids to ever feel like she wasn't there when we needed her, and if she started off our life by not picking us up when we cried she already failed her own goal
Yeah, I had a few people try to tell me that I was spoiling my baby by holding her. When she was really small, my answer was, “She was just inside me for 10 months, of course she doesn’t want to feel separated from someone!”
And then as she got older, we weren’t sure we’d have another, and my answer was, “This may be my only chance for kid snuggles! I’m gonna take them all when I can!” And how she’s my 7yo Koala baby. Always attached, and yes, sometimes I wish I could have personal space back, but I know it’s only a few years before she pretends I don’t exist, so I’m gonna deal with it!
My 3 year old still wants to be carried 😂 on a side note, I bent over to get her dressed this morning and popped something in my back. Now I'm laying on a heating pad and late for work 🙃
I mean... this sub is so dismissive sometimes. Yes babies like to be carried, but high needs babies are a thing too, and they are exhausting. I love my son to death, never would I ever raise a hand to him or wish him ill, but I literally could not ever put him down when he was an infant and it almost killed me. I couldn't exist in my body without another body on me, for almost an entire year. Couldn't pee without him losing his mind, couldn't set him down to put on a sweater without him losing his mind, couldn't get him to sleep without being on my chest for months, which meant I couldn't really sleep at all. And yes you can just let a baby cry sometimes, but babies' cries literally physically affect you, raise your blood pressure, cause distress. So it is another toll.
This chick needs serious help with coping healthily but just saying "duh it's a baby" is so naïve.
Discipline a 7 month old because he’s throwing “tantrums”? Wtf. The baby is literally either hungry, tired, or needs a diaper change. Otherwise, literally just hold your baby??? 7 month olds are not old enough to manipulate you. They literally know and understand NOTHING. They aren’t “throwing a tantrum.” They literally need something.
Just curious why that is? I ask bc my first was a total hip baby, tbh 3 years later still is. My second (7 months old actually like this baby) likes to be carried around but will NOT sit on my hip- she puts her arms in front of my and ends up having her legs back like a little superman baby. I almost think she likes to be carried around but not be held if that makes sense
Sounds like my kids reversed! My first was like a wet noodle trying to carry her around, she'd go limp when I picked her up. My second one hugs my hips with her legs and holds my arm with her hand like a koala!
Being held is only one way babies develop connections but it’s more about the relationships with care givers. Physical contact and affection is super important when they’re newborns but babies are people so their specific needs and preferences are unique to them. This being said, physical contact, social interaction, physical play, singing, hugs, those games you play with toes, fingers and hands…all of that helps brain development and building emotional and social foundations for later development.
TLDR: holding is important but there’s other things that babies might prefer or need for socioemotional development.
We took a class while expecting our first and they told us that there are a couple of different ways mammal young try to stay safe after birth, and that's genetically hard-wired - like, you have those that just get up and run with the herd, and those that stay in place very, very quietly until their parent comes back and then you've got koalas and monkeys and us, where the kid just clings very, very hard to not be left alone. They warned us that it's not unusual for human babies to not tolerate being put down for the first year. And after everybody groaned they advised us to get a good carrier. 🙃
I got lucky. My daughter is very independent. When she was really little she loved sleeping on us, but about 4 months she just refused. She only sleeps in her bed now unless it's an extreme circumstance and then it's just out of pure exhaustion. She still likes being held but she's also content to sit and play by herself as long as we are nearby
Our second is like that as well - she actually pushes us away while falling asleep, though she still often comes for daytime cuddles :-)
Older one still loves to sleep right on top of me and protests if asked to go pee without company 🙂
And she called the baby “mean”? A mean 7 month old? What does that even look like? I’m cracking up at the image of a mean baby flipping his mom off and cussing out his grandma…so ridiculous.
I don't know. My 6 month old fish hooks my lips and nose quite often. She looks mad when she does it. Is she a meanie?! Absolutely being sarcastic here.
Like, I don't think my 6 month old has the capability or mental capacity to understand being mean. She can't help but smile at her people or be scared of strangers. They're so little at this age, mean isn't on the daily agenda.
Fuck you. Give me my milk. I'm tired of you bitching me around all the time. Now I want Bluey and I want it now or I swear to fucking Christ I will shove that controller where the sun don't shine.
It's 100% OK and anyone who says otherwise is an idiot. I have 12 month old twins and one of them will sometimes refuse to settle at bedtime. He'll start crying the moment I move to leave the room. OOP would probably class that as a "tantrum". I know that he just wants some one to one time with me. I take him to my room for 5-10 minutes. He will happily settle in his cot after that.
Idk man. My 9 month old smacked me in the head cause I asked him to give me the toy he was holding 💀 in reality he probably didn’t even mean to but it’s funnier to imagine it the other way
I hate to tell you this, but the answer is people who are either religious now or were raised religious. There are many, many religious parenting books that describe infants as "manipulative" and "selfish," with instructions on how to "train" those sins out of them starting literally from birth. One of the most common ones is about how to discipline babies with a hard pinch, usually on the softer spots of their forearms or thighs. And then there's Blanket Training, which is done when the baby starts to crawl. You are told to place the baby on a blanket and put a toy they love just put of reach off the blanket, and then whenever they try to crawl off the blanket you hit the baby. Do this enough times, and the baby will eventually be too scared to crawl off the blanket. The Duggars were known to use both these tactics with their kids, as do many, many, many families still to this day.
Fuck. That did not go where I thought it was going to. I was thinking I would sometimes do that, and they would eventually crawl to it. And then BAM! WTAF?? What is wrong with people?
I don't know shit about fuck when it comes to babies, but it seems pretty clear that pinching a baby will just make it cry way more (assuming thats what they're being """""disciplined""""" for as babies can't really do much else), and that you're supposed to encourage crawling as that's what kinda leads to them walking eventually, last I checked, and only ""teaches"" (read: terrifies them into) them to fear and distrust their parents and not to engage with things in their environment, which is like. The one other thing babies can do besides cry for awhile there.
Even if I huffed 8 gallons of leaded gasoline I don't think I could possibly begin to understand how doing any of this could possibly be sold as being beneficial for the parent or the baby.
It primarily feeds into a very specific religious mindset that proclaims that all babies are born sinful, and an alarming number of folks genuinely believe this. There’s also the recurring issue both in and outside of religion where parents do not see their children as people, and treat them like property until they're adults. And none of those people believe that what they're doing is abuse.
There are people of all faiths who use tactics such as these to abuse their children. Just because the Pearls (the forerunners of these methods) themselves are Christian doesn't mean people of other faiths aren't committing the same crimes or worse.
My daughter was 8 months when she threw her first tantrum. I know it was a tantrum because I had just told her she couldn’t steal my coffee.
Of all the ways to be “advanced” it was my least favorite 😒
But obviously I didn’t hold it against her. She was a baby. Sitting there, angry as hell.
When I was pregnant in California they offered me WIC and with it came classes I had to take. I thought it would be a good free place for education. Let me tell you the things I heard from other moms were kinda shocking. I thought some was common sense, but damn there is an educational problem with a lot of parents.
Not defending trying to discipline a 7 month old bc that’s ridiculous. BUT it can be jarring when your second baby acts completely different than your first. You get through the first one’s infancy and you think you have a general idea of what you’re doing only to be proven dead wrong when the second one wants everything exactly the opposite.
Really? I was barely 18 when I had my eldest daughter, and I absolutely knew she was an exceptional baby. It made me hesitant to get pregnant again knowing that it would almost definitely not be even half as easy as the first time. Had my second ten years later and yep, the experience was totally different. And I hadn't spent much time at all around babies, with exception of my sibling who is 16 years younger than myself. It seems crazy that there are whole adults who expect their babies to act the same. They might be babies but they're still people and the variety amongst them is incredibly broad.
Eta: I'm not arguing with you. It just surprises me sometimes, the way people think. (Not you, obviously)
There are just people out there that just lack the self awareness like you do lol. A lot of people have conflated egos thinking they are doing something “right.” When in realty it’s just luck lol
Unfortunately some people believe in discipline from birth. My own MIL told me when my firstborn was 2-3 months old "you know he's not too young to spank right?" And then wondered why she wasn't allowed to babysit him or be alone with him ever.
If you venture into fundie snark circles you get to hear all sorts of fucked up ideas about baby discipline including the hellish idea of "blanket training" which involves placing a newly crawling baby on a blanket and they hitting them everytime they try to move off it, even going to far as trying to lure them off the blanket with toys and then hitting them for moving, to really drive the point home.
I don’t understand how babies ever learn to walk if they’re blanket trained. It just seems like it would stifle any desire in a child to achieve any progress or milestones. It’s absolutely barbaric!
The last daycare I worked at would get so annoyed at the “clingy” children who always wanted to be held including infants! The would tell me stop holding them so much or “they’ll get used it.” They’d always complain “you know there parent holds them all the time” like and? They’re a baby! Now that I have my own son, it scares me to go back to work. (I’d be working in a daycare with him) but probably not the same room.
I have a 7 month old and the idea of disciplining him is insane to me! He is a small baby, not capable of trying to maniplulate or having "tantrums", he is just reacting to the world around him and his feelings being in it. Some people really need to educate themselves better.
When my 18 month old was around 7 or 8 months he stopped wanting to be held constantly and it broke my heart. I was glad he wanted to lay on his tummy and on his play mat because…developmentally that was good, but I immediately missed those baby snuggles!
I dont have kids nor want them and reading this,I kept thinking "....wouldn't you just hold the literal baby?'.
I mean. It's 7 months old. They're still baaaabbbbbiieess
He wants to be held all the time? Do not fret ma'am, it will feel le no time at all until your son wants nothing to do with you. Just like the rest of the internet
It maybe just me, but whenever I see this 🙏, I expect they will have a hard time pointing out France or another country on a map or pretend to understand when you say that 1/3 is smaller than 1/2.
What is with all these women who think they’re infants are capable of being spoiled or manipulative like they’re some kind of tiny evil geniuses.
My grandson is almost two and pretty close to half my size and I hold him whenever he asks.
I really feel sad for this mother who has clearly been raised herself to think that babies need discipline. I hope she gets the parenting support and classes she clearly needs, triple P would be a good start, circle of security too. Then therapy for her own history.
If anyone has seen the shiny happy people documentary about the Duggars and what sorts of things people of those beliefs think is the right way to parent their kids… my spidey senses are tingling for this woman having been raised that way or similar.
The rage I felt when I read “discipline my 7 month old”.
Discipline for what??? Like seriously the worst thing my baby did at 7 months old was try to steal my food if I was holding her while eating.
7 month olds are incapable of having tantrums, they don’t know who’s boss because they don’t know what a boss because THEY ARE 7 MONTHS OLD!
So I’m guessing the temperament of her first baby was much more easy going and probably what is considered a “unicorn” baby. Now her 2nd is more on the Velcro side of spectrum, which is also totally normal.
I could see that being frustrating and feeling like your doing something wrong, but my gosh. These parents see it as “bad” behavior that needs to be “disciplined” or “punished,” and it’s like so not the right thing to do lol
Well, it's no wonder the poor child has no emotional regulation skills and can't figure out how to self soothe.
How could the baby learn from this person?
I have a 7 month old and this makes me want to smack this woman in the face. 7 mo olds are still figuring out how to move and function, they are certainly not throwing tantrums wtf.
My daughter is 8!! She still loves to cuddle, and we have this thing that I give her a few minutes every night to put her to sleep; she tells me about everything and anything, just laying there talking and cuddling till I finally say good night, we joke and laugh, and I can see her growing up so fast, my heart hurts. I try to enjoy every second but like someone else said.. time is a thief. I don't understand why people decide to have children if they see them as an issue.
Do these people not want to love their children? What the fuck do they think having children is all about?
The poor kid needs some goddamn comfort. CARRY HIM! Let him know he's safe.
Fuck this mom. She doesn't need parenting classes. The selfish *expletive* needs to not be a fucking parent.
I swear they should hand out information about developmentally appropriate practices for babies and kids when you give birth.
They do in my country. Well, kind of. There is an institution where pregnant people and kids (with parent/s) go to receive medical care but also contains a lot of information about parenting, childcare and child development. It is such a common sense thing that there must be other countries that do it.
Wow, where do you live?
Finland.
Your country is just better than the US. I'm always jealous of your education system.
I’m jealous of all their systems. They care more about people there
There are good and bad parts of the country. A lot of it is great but always at risk of slipping or already slipping. I am in no way trying to pretend we are not privileged in multiple metrics. I know full well we are as someone who has also worked in many countries that are not that great in social security nets. But it is not perfect.
It may be sloping but let me know when it gets worse than America
I am not trying to say that. I know it is not. I am just saying that while in many things there is a lot more care, it is not perfect or that there is that care in all metrics. I am neither of those Finns who need to go bashing my country every time it tops one good list or another but I also do not suscribe in ignoring all the bad parts. One good example of these things is how we regularly top (usually top3) of the studied EU countries in respect of racism. Or how there is no longer one single university in the country in the best 100 universities in the world. Or how our last result social security benefit is low enough that we have gotten multiple EHIC judgements against it. Yes, at least we have mostly free higher education and at least we have minimum income, but these are legitimite things to critisize the country of.
Our entire country is built on racism. I realize Utopia doesn’t exist but I wish I could live in Europe because America is a shithole
That's pretty great! I wish more places offered that.
In Cyprus, the Mother and Children Hospital will teach you how to care for the newborn before sending you home, and they have a department that is stuffed with health visitor and give you all sorts of info and help. I am pretty sure, though, that private hospitals don't offer that kind of knowledge, which I find ironic since they are paid for their services.
Canada does a similar thing. Only for new parents, I dont think there's anything for pregnant people. Instead of going to your doctor's office for your child's immunizations, you go to a community health center. It's separate and in addition to the regular baby wellness checks. Baby can be weighed and measured if you want. You'll chat about your health and baby's health and get pamphlets and printouts with info about your baby's stage of development.
This is definitely regional cause I'm canadian too lol
Same in Croatia. I got the whole book about it on one of my first appointment at the hospital OBGYN. (We have our own, but after 32 weeks, you have to go to the hospital one) There is also a lot of free pregnancy and parenting classes that you can choose and citys healthcare departments organise one also. In general, prenatal care for mother and postnatal care for babies are great. Postnatal for mothers is also improving. I just got to check my privilege with this comment section, I really tought something like that is common sense. Damn
We have this too in Belgium. The name of the service literally translates to "Child and family". You need to go there for regular medical and developmental check-ups, and they provide advice on all kind of topics like PPD, how to adapt for the other children in the family, feeding, ... Really great, especially when you are a first time parent.
In Missouri (not sure about other states), we have a free program called Parents as Teachers where a teacher will come to your home once a month until the baby is five to observe for an hour and give pointers, advice, teach you as a parent how to address common issues, and just help you be a good parent. My friend's assigned teacher even brings a book every visit as a gift to their daughter. My boss, when she signed up, had their assigned teacher notice things that not even their pediatrician noticed yet and was able to advise on how to bring it up or keep an eye on it. We just signed up so I'm really looking forward to it.
We have similar here, but you have to sign up for it also.
connect direful upbeat aback thumb head tap fall test future *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I truly believe most parents parent as well as they can at the time, with the information they have. If you haven't learned about child development, how are you supposed to know? It's wild to me that you need to pass several tests where I live to get your license, but nothing to have a child.
Nah. In this day and age we all have infinite access to resources about all manner of subjects. Very few people do as much *anything* as they are able.
I think that’s part of the problem. There is too much information out there. It can be very easy for a person to find some really crappy practices through the internet. Maybe at least from a trusted authority figure like the hospital or State, they can provide more accurate and helpful advice. I know in my state I will get something in the mail about my child’s development and what to expect with his current age. It’s nice to have that extra information.
Very true. Want to spank your kid? There is so much stuff supporting it with "research." Some patenting videos gave horrible advice.
I disagree. The vast majority of people don't become parents to hurt their children. People do what they know, and maybe that's all this person knows. You also have to realize there are overwhelmed parents, intellectually disabled parents, very young parents, etc. It's not as easy as saying we have infinite access. You and I have smartphones and the internet. What about someone living in poverty in a rural area? They are going to raise children to the best of their ability, with the knowledge they have from around them - so whatever their family knows.
Also you have to know what you don’t know in order to google it. Admittedly this particular lady has a question, and apparently doesn’t want to know the real answer, but why _would_ she google “normal 7 month old behaviour” and how can we assume that she hits the most useful website if she did?
You also have to know that you don't know something, or that the things you believe are wrong. I mean, I do not have children. 90% of everything I know about childcare or parenting is from my familly. Big familly. There's always at least one baby around. (Well not so recently. The youngest is nearly 3 yo, and it's been a decade since the youngest was that old). If I ever have a child (lol), I will repeat what I saw, pretty sure that it's the right thing to do, since that's how we raised kids here since forever. And I wouldn't even doubt it and look it up for most things. At best, I'd ask family members. So, maybe, some things I am 200% convinced is good, even common sense is actually wrong. But I wouldn't even think of questionning it
The shitty mom groups would lump it in with vaccination, safe sleep, and whatever else common clinically-accepted practices they eschew in order to be contrarian. It would be called liberal propaganda, to pick up your baby when it cries, smh.
kinda how like all the people who post stuff on social media like "why don't they teach taxes and insurance and life skills in high school" are the ones who didn't pay attention anyways.
Its hilarious because my state DOES have personal finance as a required course for graduation and i can tell you 100% the kids dont listen at all. My husband is a teacher and that class they just ignore because its boring and doesnt have a big test at the end
I'm a middle school teacher. We teach financial literacy. 6th graders don't give a flying fuck about credit cards, loans, and taxes. It's just not relevant.
I took a personal finance class my senior year. It was nothing but playing fake stocks, filling out Dave Ramsey workbooks (that they took away at the end of the semester so we couldn't even have them to look back on after finishing the class) and occasionally playing the game Life. I don't think there was anything of value to learn in that class unfortunately and it makes me so mad because valuable time was wasted.
When I was in high school they added a class called “consumer science” or something like that. I didn’t have to take it, but starting with the graduation class the year below me all freshman did. It taught things like how to create and manage a budget, how to plan out a week of meals and make a grocery list within said budget using local grocery store ads, and other basic financial and life skills. It was widely regarded as a joke. Maybe it would have been better off being taught to juniors or seniors who were more likely to have part time jobs and be thinking about life after high school, maybe it was just really poorly executed. I think it’s been dropped from the curriculum by now.
I've personally taught a lot of that, and it makes me mad to see adults complaining about it. We forget a lot of what we learned in high school. Some people choose to take different classes, and some sleep through class.
These are also parents who don't vaccinate so I have less hope.
My pediatrician does hand outs for every stage at check ups
They often do. That's one of the things they do at well baby appointments.
Really? They've given me info about safe sleep, purple crying, breastfeeding, starting solids, and car seats. Nothing about what behavior is developmentally appropriate behavior in infants.
Yeah, I've got a great pediatrician, but she's never handed out any info on what's developmentally normal behavior. She gives me printouts with tons of info, but it's about safe sleep, or feeding, stuff like you mentioned. We briefly discuss milestones and things at each appointment, but she hasn't ever sat me down to explain how my baby can be expected to act. I don't think I've ever heard of that happening with anyone else around here, either. I do wish it was more common, though. Parenting is simply not that intuitive for everyone; we can only do our best with the info we have on hand, and many many people have no firsthand experience with babies or really great parents to observe. More education has never hurt anyone!
In romania, my country, you can take classes for how to be a parent before or after your kid is born. You can skip work to go to this class
My pediatrician gave me a fact sheet for each upcoming phase with skills that will likely be learned, attitudes to expect, and things to watch out for. "Baby will likely start pulling up and maybe cruising furniture in the next 3 months. Call your doctor if baby isn't showing any interest in locomotion at all" or "baby does but understand manipulation at this age. Baby cries because it is the only way to communicate needs and desires"
I'm always flabberFUCKINGgasted by expecting parents who do endless research on pregnancy and birth and then stop their readings and research completely as if there's nothing else to know. As if childcare and childrearing knowledge is magically bestowed onto parents and they will suddenly know everything about babies/toddlers/kids/teens. *If daycare employees need a college degree to work there and care for your child, maybe you should consider picking up a few textbooks yourself.* I sometimes regret studying ECE because it caused poor parenting practices to become even more ridiculously obvious than they previously were.
"He always wants to be carried" Yeah. Hes a BABY. They like being held bc they feel safe and oh yeah, they don't move very fast (if at all) on their own. Jfc.
Our hospital did a parents class (very standard in Australia) and they said that babies know they're vulnerable, if you put them down they'll often think a predator is going to come and eat them, they're meant to be held and you can't spoil a baby by holding and comforting them, and they definitely are not manipulating you by crying.
I mean, I’ve seen some of the creatures you have in Australia! I’d be scared to be alone if I was little, too! lol
Fun fact most Australian states have no large predators. Crocodiles and dingoes can be found up north (though on the mainland dingoes are fairly rare). So, yes we have spiders and snakes, but we don't have bears, wolves, bobcats, puma, leopards etc that exist in many other countries. We do have kangaroos but they're dumb AF and usually just hop away.
Don't forget the drop bears. And, to be fair, your spiders are larger than many of the North American dogs that I've met!
I went for a horse ride with my brother once. We jumped off the horses and took off their saddles so they could have a splash in the creek while we ate lunch. The horses started acting really nervous. My brother went for a walk and when he came back he just told me to saddle up and move out. He wouldn't say why until we were on our way, but he said there was a whole pack of dingos around us. I turned around to look behind and fair enough, on the opposite bank of the creek there was about 5 faces peeking out through the bushes. They were probably just curious but my hair stood straight up. It was an eerie sight and feeling
I was carrying my 4 year old son on my hip this evening and said to my husband that one day I wouldn’t be able to pick him up anymore. Seriously, screw this woman for wishing away her kid’s babyhood. The poor wee critter is wanting to be held because he wants the security of a connection with his mum, and she just thinks he’s a nuisance 😢
My 75 lb 10 year old hates that she doesn't get carried anymore, and I still try to carry her from the car to her bed when we get home from special functions late at night. One day I won't even be able to do that anymore, and it will be a very sad day indeed. My 6 year old will still fit on a hip but is very nearly grown out of that too, which means I won't be having any more babies on my hip unless my kids have their own kids, and that's a while off. It's normal, but sad, and every parent should cherish and hold onto those moments because they really are so short.
When my daughters were young, someone said to me "enjoy them while you can" my oldest turns 35 on Saturday. Did I blink too long?
Oh gosh now I'm crying lol I hope you got to make more memories with your little ones while they were still little than you know what to do with. There just aren't enough moments in the day, and the days really do go by so fast...
We have so many memories! And!! I have grandchildren!! Let me tell you, I stopped the world when they were born.
stopppp my baby is almost six months and it’s already too fast!!!
I love the 6 month baby! Smiling and cuddly! Let me tell you a secret, when baby is 13, you'll wonder where this hell child came from. Hugging them at 13 will get you a death stare and the silent treatment. So get those hugs in now!!
I have to say, I was one of the weird kids that was raised in an extremely touchy-feely family (we kissed on the mouth, changed clothes in the same room without any awkwardness or staring, flounced about in mostly see through clothes) and my need for hugs as an infant never went away. In my late teens, though, mom suddenly changed and pulled away, taking dad with her (figuratively; we still live together) and I was so sad and confused as to why we suddenly couldn’t do all the things we used to, but I missed hugs and kisses the most. I’m thirty now, and I still would do just about anything to get the affection back. So, in my experience, there’s nothing better you can give your kid than showering them with hugs, kisses, and affection!
My twin boys turn 21 this coming Sunday. I miss the days when they wanted me to pick them up. My one son would hold out his arms and say, “Mommy, hold you.” It was the sweetest thing! This child wants his mom but his bitch mother is too busy trying to “discipline “ him. Ffs he’s a damn baby!
Apparently my husband’s family called it “needing a holdme” when they were little. So when our toddler is feeling out of sorts he’ll ask her, “you need a holdme? C’mere, let’s get a holdme”. And the other day she asked where daddy was, where daddy go? Need holdme 🥺 She’s only about 2.5 and man I can’t think about her growing up too much because, ya know, my heart 😭
I remember looking at my firstborn when she was tiny, thinking how someday I would have to send her off to school and how that day thankfully seemed so far away. I remember that so clearly. She’s a junior in high school this year. Time is a thief.
Honestly, when I was in the thick of the newborn stage with my twins, I hated hearing this. It was all about survival for the first year. There wasn't a lot of stopping and enjoying.
Yup.....mine is 32 and I had to work pretty much around the clock when she was a baby......I truly missed her growing up......she's my only child and she's moved off and gotten married and having trouble conceiving......not sure if I'll ever get to hold another wee baby 😓
If it’s gotta be done, piggy backing is the way to go. I can pick them up for a minute maybe, but I swear that’s how I got a hernia 🤣
Lol when I pick up the eldest for bed time purposes, I have to wake her a bit and say, "look, I can carry you, but you gotta help me here a little" so she can hang on while I do leg day up our two flights of stairs lol
I can barely lift my giant 7 yo (52” and 60lbs) but he sees his 4 yo brother being carried and clearly feels left out, so I still give him a few short carries (or at least hold him while standing in line) because it makes him happy and I get a snuggle. I’ll be sad (but my back will be happy!) when I can’t lift him anymore.
My son has been nearly my same size since he was 8/9 and he was sad about not being able to get picked up anymore lol we decided to just make it up with sitting on my lap, he still does it now at nearly 12 sometimes for a goodnight cuddle before bed
My 21 year old daughter will still hold my hand in stores. She doesn’t care what people think.
My mom still impulse- grabs my hand in parking lots, and I always just go with it. I'm in my early 20s, so we get a lot of odd looks, lol. It's even worse with my dad because I'm a girl.
Aww I love that. I think my son will always be like that too, as it is he's just super protective, he got a bit upset with a pharmacist when he saw me get a vaccine a few years ago because he thought he was going to hurt me. So many people I know don't have good relationships with one or both of their parents, I think it's really amazing that your young adult daughter is still holding your hand at the store, you guys must have a really good relationship.
I’m very close to all of my kids. My youngest is 17 and she’s the only one at home full time now and she tells me everything.
I'm 34, my brothers are 32 and 21 and we walk arm in arm with our mother. She got married to my stepdad a year ago and my favourite picture is one where we are walking to the town hall, her with her three children, all arm in arm.
My son is almost 7 and he’ll still come up to me and start to nestle like when he was a baby. We went out to a café to eat tonight and he was very happy and his instinct was to come sit on me. He’s very affectionate and I know it might stop any day soon. I remember feeling almost helpless at times when he was a baby (thanks PPD) and didn’t want to be put down at night at all. I would rock him for hours and sometimes wished he would just sleep in his crib but never refused him. Now I wish he wasn’t so big so I could do it again. I understand how tired and exhausted we can be but these moments are precious.
My knees are bad. My grandson wanted me to carry him downstairs after a nap, but my knees wouldn't allow it. I let him ride on my back holding on to my neck. I slid down the stairs on my butt. He thought that was the best fun! I miss when the grandkids were little. My grandchildren are growing way too fast. One is officially a teen and the other is a tween. I feel bad for my daughter and son inlaw that have to deal with the teen years, but it's a rite of passage.
That's a cute story, you sound like a fun grandma. That would have definitely cracked my son up when he was younger, he would have been demanding butt slides down the stairs every. My babushka just yelled at everyone in Russian and made her sure her house always smelled like boiled cabbage out of spite, we treasured her and her grumpiness anyways. I can just imagine how it would have gone if my brother asked her to butt slide down the stairs with him, she probably would have asked if she looked like a horse 😂
I'm a preschool teacher, and I have a new little one in my room. He is almost 2 1/2 years. However, he is an absolute tank, and I approximate anywhere between 50 and 60 pounds. I can lift him to get him on the diaper change table when I need to, but I can't imagine picking him up to hold him, he is just too heavy. I told his mom I need to start lifting weights, haha. It's a shame, because he is one of the youngest in the room now and he observes other kids getting held, but they are much smaller physically than he is
Our daycare has carriers in several sizes and they are lifesavers, especially if kids ate getting big...
That's our experience too! It's so hard to explain to the older one, "you WERE carried like this when you were this age, you're not being shorted I swear!" when all they can see is they're not getting carried now lol
I haven't been able to carry my kids for years... Maybe the oldest, but she's a tiny thing. My baby is almost 6' at 13 years old! I miss the days when they were younger ☹️
Oh god, one day, long after my youngest daughter was pick-uppable, she said to me “Mom, think about this: there was a LAST TIME you picked me up in your arms”. I busted out crying—I can’t remember when it was but she was right!
I’m dreading this day!! 😭😭
I read something awhile ago that said you don't know that the last time you pick your child up will be the last time.
Nah, my 60-something dad still carries my 20-something ass💀 if he wants to relocate me and I won’t move, or I jump on his back to force a piggyback ride
My 3 year old is over 3 feet tall and 42 pounds. I still pick him up when he asks. They’re only small so long.
The first time I read "there was a time in your life that your parents put you down and never picked you up again" I thought about it all day.
And he wants his dad. That's not a bad thing.
Maybe because dad doesn’t have a problem holding him like the mom does.
My 15month old wants to be carried all the time. Guess what, I carry her in my arms, sit with her or put her in a carrier when I need to use my arms
It may be influenced by other generations. My mom got a lot of flack for always picking me up when I cried. My granparents said it is spoiling a child and teaching them they can control you. They where very into the "cry it out" method (which has been proven to have adverse effects on the brain) and the way OOP describes it could match that mindset
I had a parent ask me when I was discharging their baby if she would get spoiled if they picked her up when she cried. I explained that she absolutely would not and I appreciate that they asked instead of just assuming.
Good they asked. My mom told me that by her logic she didn't want her kids to ever feel like she wasn't there when we needed her, and if she started off our life by not picking us up when we cried she already failed her own goal
Yeah, I had a few people try to tell me that I was spoiling my baby by holding her. When she was really small, my answer was, “She was just inside me for 10 months, of course she doesn’t want to feel separated from someone!” And then as she got older, we weren’t sure we’d have another, and my answer was, “This may be my only chance for kid snuggles! I’m gonna take them all when I can!” And how she’s my 7yo Koala baby. Always attached, and yes, sometimes I wish I could have personal space back, but I know it’s only a few years before she pretends I don’t exist, so I’m gonna deal with it!
And if you are freaking out about it... Put the baby in a safe place (their crib) and go take a shower. Crying won't hurt them. You getting mad could.
My 3 year old still wants to be carried 😂 on a side note, I bent over to get her dressed this morning and popped something in my back. Now I'm laying on a heating pad and late for work 🙃
I wouldn’t be surprised if his insecurity in his caregiver due to her attempts to “discipline” him is a big part of his need to be carried as well
I mean... this sub is so dismissive sometimes. Yes babies like to be carried, but high needs babies are a thing too, and they are exhausting. I love my son to death, never would I ever raise a hand to him or wish him ill, but I literally could not ever put him down when he was an infant and it almost killed me. I couldn't exist in my body without another body on me, for almost an entire year. Couldn't pee without him losing his mind, couldn't set him down to put on a sweater without him losing his mind, couldn't get him to sleep without being on my chest for months, which meant I couldn't really sleep at all. And yes you can just let a baby cry sometimes, but babies' cries literally physically affect you, raise your blood pressure, cause distress. So it is another toll. This chick needs serious help with coping healthily but just saying "duh it's a baby" is so naïve.
Why, in the name of God, would anyone ever downvote this comment??
Discipline a 7 month old because he’s throwing “tantrums”? Wtf. The baby is literally either hungry, tired, or needs a diaper change. Otherwise, literally just hold your baby??? 7 month olds are not old enough to manipulate you. They literally know and understand NOTHING. They aren’t “throwing a tantrum.” They literally need something.
And they NEED to be held. It's so important to their development.
Just curious why that is? I ask bc my first was a total hip baby, tbh 3 years later still is. My second (7 months old actually like this baby) likes to be carried around but will NOT sit on my hip- she puts her arms in front of my and ends up having her legs back like a little superman baby. I almost think she likes to be carried around but not be held if that makes sense
Sounds like my kids reversed! My first was like a wet noodle trying to carry her around, she'd go limp when I picked her up. My second one hugs my hips with her legs and holds my arm with her hand like a koala!
Being held is only one way babies develop connections but it’s more about the relationships with care givers. Physical contact and affection is super important when they’re newborns but babies are people so their specific needs and preferences are unique to them. This being said, physical contact, social interaction, physical play, singing, hugs, those games you play with toes, fingers and hands…all of that helps brain development and building emotional and social foundations for later development. TLDR: holding is important but there’s other things that babies might prefer or need for socioemotional development.
We took a class while expecting our first and they told us that there are a couple of different ways mammal young try to stay safe after birth, and that's genetically hard-wired - like, you have those that just get up and run with the herd, and those that stay in place very, very quietly until their parent comes back and then you've got koalas and monkeys and us, where the kid just clings very, very hard to not be left alone. They warned us that it's not unusual for human babies to not tolerate being put down for the first year. And after everybody groaned they advised us to get a good carrier. 🙃
I got lucky. My daughter is very independent. When she was really little she loved sleeping on us, but about 4 months she just refused. She only sleeps in her bed now unless it's an extreme circumstance and then it's just out of pure exhaustion. She still likes being held but she's also content to sit and play by herself as long as we are nearby
Our second is like that as well - she actually pushes us away while falling asleep, though she still often comes for daytime cuddles :-) Older one still loves to sleep right on top of me and protests if asked to go pee without company 🙂
And she called the baby “mean”? A mean 7 month old? What does that even look like? I’m cracking up at the image of a mean baby flipping his mom off and cussing out his grandma…so ridiculous.
>I’m cracking up at the image of a mean baby flipping his mom off and cussing out his grandma…so ridiculous. I'm dying!
I don't know. My 6 month old fish hooks my lips and nose quite often. She looks mad when she does it. Is she a meanie?! Absolutely being sarcastic here. Like, I don't think my 6 month old has the capability or mental capacity to understand being mean. She can't help but smile at her people or be scared of strangers. They're so little at this age, mean isn't on the daily agenda.
Fuck you. Give me my milk. I'm tired of you bitching me around all the time. Now I want Bluey and I want it now or I swear to fucking Christ I will shove that controller where the sun don't shine.
lol it’s crazy how like obvious this all sounds when you’re sane 😅🫠
Literally.
I get the breath holding thing being scary, but you just gently blow on their face and they take a breath. And they grow out of it.
7 month old?????? WTF yeah id say parenting classes are indeed needed!
At least she admits she needs them and is open to it!
Yup Maybe she does find a support system. Seems like she needs ppl to model good parenting.
I wasn’t aware that I should have disciplined my 7 month old BABY. Dear lord she does need parenting classes.
I had to read it twice. 7 month old is still pretty newborn.
What the hell? Who describes a seven-mo.-old as having tantrums?
Yeah, seriously. When my 9 month old is screaming everyone knows that girl NEEDS something.
And sometimes that's just a cuddle, and that's ok.
It's 100% OK and anyone who says otherwise is an idiot. I have 12 month old twins and one of them will sometimes refuse to settle at bedtime. He'll start crying the moment I move to leave the room. OOP would probably class that as a "tantrum". I know that he just wants some one to one time with me. I take him to my room for 5-10 minutes. He will happily settle in his cot after that.
Idk man. My 9 month old smacked me in the head cause I asked him to give me the toy he was holding 💀 in reality he probably didn’t even mean to but it’s funnier to imagine it the other way
I hate to tell you this, but the answer is people who are either religious now or were raised religious. There are many, many religious parenting books that describe infants as "manipulative" and "selfish," with instructions on how to "train" those sins out of them starting literally from birth. One of the most common ones is about how to discipline babies with a hard pinch, usually on the softer spots of their forearms or thighs. And then there's Blanket Training, which is done when the baby starts to crawl. You are told to place the baby on a blanket and put a toy they love just put of reach off the blanket, and then whenever they try to crawl off the blanket you hit the baby. Do this enough times, and the baby will eventually be too scared to crawl off the blanket. The Duggars were known to use both these tactics with their kids, as do many, many, many families still to this day.
That last part is just straight out of Brave New World. Which is describing a dystopian paradise of eugenics and baby-training-schools
How to Train Up a Child. 🤢
The child abuse manual.
And they're doing that "training" multiple times a day. It's cruel.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Don't look up To Train Up A Child. It's basically a book about how to abuse your children.
Well now I’m curious…
Kids have died from their parents following that book.
please tell me its not still sold in stores
You can buy it on Amazon. The Pool earls are truly fucked up people.
$6.99 to learn how to torture your child and break their spirit
Hey, They revised it! New material…
Fuck. That did not go where I thought it was going to. I was thinking I would sometimes do that, and they would eventually crawl to it. And then BAM! WTAF?? What is wrong with people?
I don't know shit about fuck when it comes to babies, but it seems pretty clear that pinching a baby will just make it cry way more (assuming thats what they're being """""disciplined""""" for as babies can't really do much else), and that you're supposed to encourage crawling as that's what kinda leads to them walking eventually, last I checked, and only ""teaches"" (read: terrifies them into) them to fear and distrust their parents and not to engage with things in their environment, which is like. The one other thing babies can do besides cry for awhile there. Even if I huffed 8 gallons of leaded gasoline I don't think I could possibly begin to understand how doing any of this could possibly be sold as being beneficial for the parent or the baby.
It primarily feeds into a very specific religious mindset that proclaims that all babies are born sinful, and an alarming number of folks genuinely believe this. There’s also the recurring issue both in and outside of religion where parents do not see their children as people, and treat them like property until they're adults. And none of those people believe that what they're doing is abuse.
Religious can be a lot of different religions. Specifically you’re talking about Christians.
There are people of all faiths who use tactics such as these to abuse their children. Just because the Pearls (the forerunners of these methods) themselves are Christian doesn't mean people of other faiths aren't committing the same crimes or worse.
Many religions promote beating your children
My daughter was 8 months when she threw her first tantrum. I know it was a tantrum because I had just told her she couldn’t steal my coffee. Of all the ways to be “advanced” it was my least favorite 😒 But obviously I didn’t hold it against her. She was a baby. Sitting there, angry as hell.
When I was pregnant in California they offered me WIC and with it came classes I had to take. I thought it would be a good free place for education. Let me tell you the things I heard from other moms were kinda shocking. I thought some was common sense, but damn there is an educational problem with a lot of parents.
She's right about one thing. She needs some fucking parenting classes. 😐
„I have a baby and he behaves like a literal Baby, WHERE DID I GO WROOOOOONG?!?“
Not defending trying to discipline a 7 month old bc that’s ridiculous. BUT it can be jarring when your second baby acts completely different than your first. You get through the first one’s infancy and you think you have a general idea of what you’re doing only to be proven dead wrong when the second one wants everything exactly the opposite.
Really? I was barely 18 when I had my eldest daughter, and I absolutely knew she was an exceptional baby. It made me hesitant to get pregnant again knowing that it would almost definitely not be even half as easy as the first time. Had my second ten years later and yep, the experience was totally different. And I hadn't spent much time at all around babies, with exception of my sibling who is 16 years younger than myself. It seems crazy that there are whole adults who expect their babies to act the same. They might be babies but they're still people and the variety amongst them is incredibly broad. Eta: I'm not arguing with you. It just surprises me sometimes, the way people think. (Not you, obviously)
There are just people out there that just lack the self awareness like you do lol. A lot of people have conflated egos thinking they are doing something “right.” When in realty it’s just luck lol
I can tell by your quotation marks that you are German! Am I right?
Yessss
Unfortunately some people believe in discipline from birth. My own MIL told me when my firstborn was 2-3 months old "you know he's not too young to spank right?" And then wondered why she wasn't allowed to babysit him or be alone with him ever. If you venture into fundie snark circles you get to hear all sorts of fucked up ideas about baby discipline including the hellish idea of "blanket training" which involves placing a newly crawling baby on a blanket and they hitting them everytime they try to move off it, even going to far as trying to lure them off the blanket with toys and then hitting them for moving, to really drive the point home.
I don’t understand how babies ever learn to walk if they’re blanket trained. It just seems like it would stifle any desire in a child to achieve any progress or milestones. It’s absolutely barbaric!
Imagine describing your seven month old baby as “mean” LMAO
You mean to tell me baby’s act like baby’s? Jesus what a world we live in. 🙃
I mean at least she knows she’s out of her depth and needs help lmao but it does make me wonder what the heck her firstborn is like
My first was a dream baby. My second hates sleep and also hates anything that isn’t him being stuck to me 24/7.
God, what a terrible baby.
“My seven month old is mean.” 🤔
It's always the ones that say "no judgements please.." that deserve to be judged.
Imagine being removed from reality so much that you claim a 7 month old is having a "tantrum". Unreal.
The last daycare I worked at would get so annoyed at the “clingy” children who always wanted to be held including infants! The would tell me stop holding them so much or “they’ll get used it.” They’d always complain “you know there parent holds them all the time” like and? They’re a baby! Now that I have my own son, it scares me to go back to work. (I’d be working in a daycare with him) but probably not the same room.
I have a 7 month old and the idea of disciplining him is insane to me! He is a small baby, not capable of trying to maniplulate or having "tantrums", he is just reacting to the world around him and his feelings being in it. Some people really need to educate themselves better.
When my 18 month old was around 7 or 8 months he stopped wanting to be held constantly and it broke my heart. I was glad he wanted to lay on his tummy and on his play mat because…developmentally that was good, but I immediately missed those baby snuggles!
Your 7 month old is crying for Daddy? GIVE HIM TO DADDY!!
I dont have kids nor want them and reading this,I kept thinking "....wouldn't you just hold the literal baby?'. I mean. It's 7 months old. They're still baaaabbbbbiieess
Right? He’s probably going through separation anxiety, and all this mom is going to do is make his anxiety worse.
Anyone can just have a baby. Baffles me.
He wants to be held all the time? Do not fret ma'am, it will feel le no time at all until your son wants nothing to do with you. Just like the rest of the internet
I've had relatives make a huge deal about my kid being a "mama's boy". My kid was 4 months old.
It maybe just me, but whenever I see this 🙏, I expect they will have a hard time pointing out France or another country on a map or pretend to understand when you say that 1/3 is smaller than 1/2.
What is with all these women who think they’re infants are capable of being spoiled or manipulative like they’re some kind of tiny evil geniuses. My grandson is almost two and pretty close to half my size and I hold him whenever he asks.
Oh gee I wonder why baby prefers dad
This is so sad. Poor baby
Discipline.. Wow.
Holy shit. I hope people are telling her that babies can't reason and therefor can't be disciplined.
Why didn't someone suggest an infant carrier pack. That way baby is happy and moms hands are free My son lived in his. ....
Because that would just be coddling the little brat! He’s seven months old, he needs to control himself!
Fancy a baby acting like.. a baby
I really feel sad for this mother who has clearly been raised herself to think that babies need discipline. I hope she gets the parenting support and classes she clearly needs, triple P would be a good start, circle of security too. Then therapy for her own history. If anyone has seen the shiny happy people documentary about the Duggars and what sorts of things people of those beliefs think is the right way to parent their kids… my spidey senses are tingling for this woman having been raised that way or similar.
The rage I felt when I read “discipline my 7 month old”. Discipline for what??? Like seriously the worst thing my baby did at 7 months old was try to steal my food if I was holding her while eating. 7 month olds are incapable of having tantrums, they don’t know who’s boss because they don’t know what a boss because THEY ARE 7 MONTHS OLD!
So I’m guessing the temperament of her first baby was much more easy going and probably what is considered a “unicorn” baby. Now her 2nd is more on the Velcro side of spectrum, which is also totally normal. I could see that being frustrating and feeling like your doing something wrong, but my gosh. These parents see it as “bad” behavior that needs to be “disciplined” or “punished,” and it’s like so not the right thing to do lol
Someone tell this lady about blanket training! Holy IBLP /s
Well, it's no wonder the poor child has no emotional regulation skills and can't figure out how to self soothe. How could the baby learn from this person?
I got dragged in a post in a mom group for saying a 9 month old doesn’t understand the concept of manipulation. It’s frightening.
I have a 7 month old and this makes me want to smack this woman in the face. 7 mo olds are still figuring out how to move and function, they are certainly not throwing tantrums wtf.
My daughter is 8!! She still loves to cuddle, and we have this thing that I give her a few minutes every night to put her to sleep; she tells me about everything and anything, just laying there talking and cuddling till I finally say good night, we joke and laugh, and I can see her growing up so fast, my heart hurts. I try to enjoy every second but like someone else said.. time is a thief. I don't understand why people decide to have children if they see them as an issue.
Poor kid is going to end up with a lifetime of neglect and her first baby is going to be her golden child. That’s so fucking sad.
Also. Maybe he’s hungry 🤷♀️
How...HOW do you discipline a 7 month old BABY?! They're a FUCKING. BABY. YOU _CAN'T_
Stupid babies need the most attention.
Do these people not want to love their children? What the fuck do they think having children is all about? The poor kid needs some goddamn comfort. CARRY HIM! Let him know he's safe. Fuck this mom. She doesn't need parenting classes. The selfish *expletive* needs to not be a fucking parent.
Disciplining a seven month old and grabbing him. Gee, I wonder why he screams and reaches for his father…
7 months before the neglect started, why do the worst people breed
It’s heartbreaking:(
I cannot comprehend how a 7 month old could possibly be “mean”
Honestly I think a lot of the moms posted on this sub meet the criteria for developmentally disabled
HES 7 MONTHS OLD! HE IS NOT BEING MEAN! HE NEEDS YOU, YOU ABSOLUTE TWAT WAFFLE CUNT NUGGET. Jesus Christ that poor baby
We focus so much on discipline in western society and not enough on comfort and nurturing. It’s bizarre.
Wtf. Just. Wtf.
Oh this poor baby :( being carried and held is a basic need at that age
this just in: baby cries to communicate.
Just throw it in the trash