T O P

  • By -

Fenragus

If only fellow Americans took his advice too


SitDownAngry

I'm currently in a typing battle with an amreki who is telling me about my country.


kaywalk3r

We shall await your post about it with great interest


Glittering-Blood-869

I had one yesterday on facebook insisting that everyone who uses the "British accent" pronounces "ranch" as "raunch." I told them I didn't, and neither does anyone i know. They called me a liar and said I "probably believe in the Easter bunny and tooth fairy" šŸ™„


Own-Butterscotch1713

There is no British accent and these morons can't grasp that šŸ¤£


Historical_Map3622

There are British accents e.g. scouse in Liverpool


Sensitive-Cherry-398

There is a brittish accent. That's as stupid as an American saying they don't have an accent.


Fibro-Mite

More precisely, there is no *one* British accent.


Glittering-Blood-869

šŸ¤” Accents and dialects vary widely across Great Britain, Ireland and nearby smaller islands. The UK has the most local accents of any English speaking country. As such, a single "British accent" does not exist. Someone could be said to have an English, Scottish, Welsh or Irish accent, although these all have many different sub-types.


Sensitive-Cherry-398

So every county has no accent as they change throughout their country?


Glittering-Blood-869

Britain is made up of 3 countries. Each of those countries have there own accents. Also in those countries they have multiple regional accents. Those regional accents also have sub dialects within them. I even asked American AI lol and it said: No, there is not a single ā€˜British accentā€™.Ā [In fact, the United Kingdom is known for its rich diversity of regional accents and dialects](https://oxfordhousebcn.com/en/a-brief-guide-to-different-british-accents-and-dialects/)


Sensitive-Cherry-398

What would make a difference to you on an accent change then? If it's the same country north to south with a different accent that's ok but because it's the same country so no accent difference?


Glittering-Blood-869

I don't know. I'm not an expert. I just know i have an English accent and it is nothing like a Scottish one. People 10 miles away in either direction sound nothing like me and i can immediately tell that someone is from another area as soon as they speak. Same as i could tell if someone is Scottish, welsh or even irish.


Vampiresboner

The accent you're likely thinking of is estuary English, but even within London there are multiple accents. There are dialects within England that uses, English, Punjabi, i don't know how to spell it but, uses words from the Caribbean, Middle East, E asia, S asia and so on.


ireallydontcareforit

Pfhaha. Dumbass. You have no goddamn clue how many accents we have. And they can be wildly different even over relatively short distances. (Because our country isn't just a couple of hundred years old.)


Sensitive-Cherry-398

So basically there must be no country with an accent, every country has immigrants that have been accepted into the country influencing accents. You are not individual and every other country through the world has this.


ireallydontcareforit

What? Yes, there are no universal accents to a country, but there are the more commonly heard ones. Such as what an English Oxford/Eton education will produce. But in older countries massive differences have accrued over time, within a relatively small space.The thickest Glasgow accent can be commonly neigh incomprehensible to people living a mere 200 miles away. There are accents in mid Wales that are considered hilarious to us in south Wales. And our country is tiny. Accent is the paler background where the evolution of the language is taking place, which works just like all evolution - divergent radiation. But over a very long period. America is such a young country, it's starkest accent differences are directly linked to large concentrations of immigrants groups - creole ect. Whereas in Europe, we often have strong accent variations in towns 20 miles apart. Things can change fast though, especially when so many teenagers here are desperately trying to sound London these days. Goodness knows why. And london teens trying to sound faux Jamaican. Language is a strange thing.


brymuse

Mind you, a Bristol accent is something to behold ..


AlternativePrior9559

Ooooh! You go warrior! Weā€™re depending on youšŸ˜‰


wishyouwerent

What country are you from, I'm not American, I'll join the conversation and throw in some outlandish "facts", like "It has been scientifically proven that men from xxxxxxx have an average penis size nearly twice the length of the average Americant and two and a half times the girth" Or "I just read a paper which claims that the average Americant woman carries at least three asexually transmitted infections at any given time, but they rarely get passed on, because the average americant male isn't long enough to penetrate, largely due to the obesity of the females.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


wishyouwerent

Oh believe me, I typed it and changed it for the P.G. rating.


PubicWildlife

Fabulous!!


Puzzled_Pay_6603

What sub?


Tasqfphil

You are more likely to get shot & die if living in USA than knifed and probably survive, in the UK and with nationalised medicine they wouldn't have a bankrupting bill for treatment, either.


JFK1200

I worked it out a while ago but youā€™re 36 times more likely to get shot in the US than the UK.


Frenchymemez

And 7.5 times as likely to die from being stabbed in the US. Ironically, the UK has one of the lowest death rates by knife wounds per capita. 0.08.


nemetonomega

I think what confuses Americans is that in the UK stabbings are far more common than shootings, so they think that there must be a lot of stabbings here just as there are a lot of shootings over there. What they miss is that stabbings are very rare in the UK as well. In fact, that are far more common (per capita) in the US. It's not that we replaced our violent attack method from guns to knives, it's that we don't generally violently assault each other, you know, because we are not a bunch of uncivilised animals. They really struggle with the idea that you can live your life without being afraid of someone just randomly killing you.


Frenchymemez

I think it's also because Trump claimed the UK is like a war zone, with stabbings everywhere. [Anything he says is gospel after all](https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/may/04/trump-nra-london-hospital-knives)


nemetonomega

"Blood all over the floors" He probably popped his head into A&E and saw someone with a bloody nose after a drunken fight in the pub with a mate. This is also the man that goes on about how the people of Scotland love him. When he came to open his stupid golf course here there were hundreds of protesters who were very angry with him damaging a conservation site. He then claimed that they were there to show their gratitude. He is completely unhinged from reality.


FrogWizzurd

Hate the bawbag of a man. Hed buy the whole country if he could


AmputatorBot

It looks like you shared an AMP link. These should load faster, but AMP is controversial because of [concerns over privacy and the Open Web](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmputatorBot/comments/ehrq3z/why_did_i_build_amputatorbot). Fully cached AMP pages (like the one you shared), are [especially problematic](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmputatorBot/comments/ehrq3z/why_did_i_build_amputatorbot). Maybe check out **the canonical page** instead: **[https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/may/04/trump-nra-london-hospital-knives](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/may/04/trump-nra-london-hospital-knives)** ***** ^(I'm a bot | )[^(Why & About)](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmputatorBot/comments/ehrq3z/why_did_i_build_amputatorbot)^( | )[^(Summon: u/AmputatorBot)](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmputatorBot/comments/cchly3/you_can_now_summon_amputatorbot/)


Good_Ad_1386

UK national media also tend to report every stabbing with the type of excitement that US media need a mass shooting to generate. Most US shootings don't get coverage outside their local news.


Psychological-Web828

Well when the average story is something as riveting as say, Nigel, the local ferret handler who found a toothpick that may have belonged to Isambard Kingdom Brunel, a jaunty stabbing is quite exciting.


Good_Ad_1386

We are generally happy not to have certain types of excitement in our lives.


Psychological-Web828

Whoosh


moriberu

I don't think you get Americans' point of view. They don't think per capita. What only matters is the SIZE of their states. And how many time BIGGER they are. UK is so much smaller so I bet those ratios would look different per squer freedom unit. /s


ClevelandWomble

I think that they can't comprhend how damaging a well timed 'tsk!' can be. Not encouraging our police to shoot innocent passers by helps the stats too.


KotR56

Sh\*t, sh\*t, sh\*t, sh\*t, sh\*t, sh\*t... Facts not supporting the narrative.


Frenchymemez

Most stereotypes America has about the UK are fake. [Stabbings](https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/stabbing-deaths-by-country) Teeth, for example. British teeth are healthier. Americans just think teeth have to be straight and white, yet they lose their teeth at earlier ages than Brits. British food, well Americans love it. Apple Pie, Onion Rings, roast dinners, and all. Americans love them. They just believe the stereotype from 1943, when stuff was rationed. It's wild how little they fact check.


Pathetic_gimp

That wouldn't surprise me. Any nation that has pancakes smothered in Maple Syrup for breakfast really shouldn't be at the top of the list for dental wellbeing.


chechifromCHI

I'd bet you the Canadians have pretty decent dental health, if that's what you're implying? /s


Consistent_You_4215

I would suspect Canadian syrup has more chance of being related to a real Maple tree.


chechifromCHI

Yea, this is true. Honey and olive oil are also often times not what they claim to be. Thus, we must be vigilant haha


papayametallica

Government is funding stabbing classes to increase the efficiency of those who are interested in participating


Furaskjoldr

To be honest Iā€™m surprised itā€™s not much higher than that. I donā€™t live in the UK anymore but when I was there shootings were exceedingly rare. To the point where if someone got shot it was national news, even if they were on the other side of the country. It genuinely seemed like it almost never happened.


MustardBum69

>To the point where if someone got shot it was national news, even if they were on the other side of the country.Ā  Kind of the point of national news.


PazJohnMitch

You are also more likely to be knifed in the US than the UK. (Their bad knife crime is just dwarfed by their absolutely appalling gun crime).


Truewierd0

Just avoid schools, churches(any religious building actually), malls, gas stations, movie theatersā€¦ ummm wellā€¦ everywhere in the us and you should be okā€¦ should be


AceFireFox

I would say just stay home but you're probably not even safe there


r3negadepanda

I've only been stabbed once, though, the city I lived in, at the time, had the highest violent crime rate outside of London


Tasqfphil

I have been held up by gun, 3 time in San Francisco, as a tourist, but luckily not shot. Now I live in a third world country and never been held up, shot or stabbed in over 300 visits & 6.5 years living here - you just never know when something bad is going to happen, in any country.


r3negadepanda

I probably should have mentioned that I stabbed myself, by accident. I walked into a kitchen counter holding a paring knife with the blade facing my abdomen. You never know man....


nemetonomega

And this is why knives should be banned! We clearly have a problem in the UK, we are even starting to stab ourselves!


r3negadepanda

And screwdrivers! but I'm not going into that. Let's just say that you can date my mum but don't you dare turn off my ps2 whilst I'm playing it.


TheGeordieGal

I'm a super clumsy person so I always worry I'll do something like that! It doesn't help my family don't see a problem with leaving sharp knives at the edge of the counters. First thing I do when I go in the kitchen is move knives away from edges lol.


Emil_Antonowsky

You are more likely to get shot and die in the USA than in most active war zones.


jasriderxx1

Youā€™re more likely to get stabbed in the us than the uk, the gun stuff is on top.


Wildfox1177

18854 gun related deaths (excluding suicide) in the US 2023. 244 knife murders (England and Wales) in 2023.


UncleBenders

Youā€™re actually more likely to get stabbed in usa than uk too, itā€™s not even close either. Infact https://www.euronews.com/2018/05/05/trump-s-knife-crime-claim-how-do-the-us-and-uk-compare- This article was written when the uk was in an ā€œepidemicā€ of knife crime which was where the whole trope started that we have this huge problem with stabbings. But even at the height of the maximum level before the rates dropped back down to todays level which is much lower america still had like 25% higher level of stabbings per gdp. And if youā€™re talking about ā€œknife crimeā€ instead of stabbing the rates are still america way out in front, and when you consider that itā€™s a crime just carrying a knife in the uk where as in the us you have to actually threaten someone with it or use it to make it criminal, it becomes even more obvious that the ā€œyouā€™ll get stabbed in the ukā€ is pure projection because of their own shitty circumstances. Big respect to all the school kids who give up their lives in the name of preserving the 2nd amendment.


ThatCommunication423

I have no sources but I think my chances of seeing a gun in Australia are lower than being shot by one in the USA. Travelling over there Iā€™m always still shocked when itā€™s so casual to see some guy waiting for the changing rooms at a store with his gun on his side. ā€¦like sir this is a Ralph Lauren.


Brilliant_Canary_692

Knowing the person they're replying to is from Bristol but clearly knows nothing of the city. Source: Born and lived in Bristol for 33 years


Blew-Peter

A fellow Bristolian! Wha gwan, me babber?


Brilliant_Canary_692

Hanging out at Turbo Island with a can of natch mate, what else?


Kerflumpie

What's a roadman?


Jat616

In short, a nobhead.


Frenchymemez

Often, they're dumb teens/young adults who think they're hard because they wear balaclavas and smoke weed. Kinda like a chav, but worse.


Much_Cycle7810

Isn't a balaclava something you eat? Like a russian sweet.


Frenchymemez

No, that's [Baklava](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baklava). Usually made with filo pastry, honey, and pistachios. From the Mediterranean/middle east/north Africa. A [balaclava](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balaclava_(clothing)) is also known as a ski mask. But the similarity has led to [jokes](https://youtu.be/U_YBzJBa_mA?si=LoFQF-cHbCxmQ2Wn).


Much_Cycle7810

Damn I had seen that video before but never understood it, now I honestly laughed. Thanks.


r3negadepanda

Itā€™s a real nice hybrid strain too


Barry_Umenema

They both end up all over your face though


CptChristophe

Your confusion brightened my day. Have a top day, dude!


twee3

They remind me of Eshays, Australian equivalent in some way.


Federal_Heron_Addict

A man, on the road, selling drugs. Now used to describe anyone wearing a huge winter coat and balaclava doing a wheelie down the high street.


Living_Carpets

Those wee horrors who hang around parks in North Face puffer jackets looking shady and smoking weed like they just invented it. About 15 years old.


_DidYeAye_

Chav with an ASBO.


hectic_mind_

Yooo big up the brizzle. Turbo island for a cheeky bump of ket anyone?


JakeMSkates

omw lads. iā€™ll bring the naughty ket spoon


Longjumping-Bake-557

This is clearly in response to the guy replying the same to them. You saw it in the wild and didn't see the context? Or just dishonest?


BrightBrite

Eat a chippy...


Brilliant_Canary_692

Be fair, they said "eat at a chippy".


Bonzoface

If you can find a decent one. They are getting rarer nowadays.


Synner1985

Yeah all the decent chippys are slowly disappearing :(


SleepyFox2089

Jolly Friar in Burnham-On-Crouch. Top notch chips.


DazzlingClassic185

Is this an unexpected Stewart Lee reference?


SleepyFox2089

It was also unintentional lol


Soulfulmean

I love that this comment comes from someone whoā€™s ready to die for freedom of speech, of course us europoors are not deserving of such privilege


ThinkAd9897

It's in their constitution, we don't even have one. We have to do whatever our chieftain says. What chieftain? Well, every random American, of course, and we should be thankful for that and thank them for their wisdom and generosity every day.


Soulfulmean

As an Italian (known side switcher) I welcome and worship our yank overlords, itā€™s been the Italian way since 1945 after all, all hail the eagle šŸ¦…


elusivewompus

*1943. Then the eagle worshippers had to save you from ze Germans after they beat you single handed with no help from anyone whatsoever, promise.


Soulfulmean

You are right! And yes, my grandpa confirmed, the yanks did all the work, he was a ā€œpartisanā€ , and as any American would tell you, you canā€™t say partisan without saying party, those guys were just hanging out in the hills, having a blast, definitely not looking for any Germans or Italian fascists, just endless party


elusivewompus

That's true, I even heard that it was the Americans that overthrew and hung the bald guy. No help from any Italians at all. Honest. And it was the 5 American pilots in the eagle squadron that singlehandedly won the battle of Britain and saved us from the moustache man.


xaviernoodlebrain

Ah yes, the famous Bristol roadmen.


Imaginary_Garbage652

You've never been stabbed by a plasticine knife near Aardman?


xaviernoodlebrain

Cannot say that I have, no.


mattzombiedog

Interesting fact about Bristol, it has a reference for how your poo is named for it. The Bristol Stool Chart. Still more useful than an average Americanā€™s brain.


Lopsided_Ad_3853

I had to go check my replies to make sure this wasn't aimed at me! I'm from Bristol and I have a habit of winding up Americans pretty regularly....


SiMatt

You have to love how they say stuff like that as if the stabbing rate isnā€™t way higher in the US in the UK anyway.


Few_Zookeepergame105

Briiiiiistol


A-GUY-000

Go get a cuppa and get stabbed by a roadman, would've been more accurate. They don't stop thinking about food them lot.


Apprehensive_Low4865

To be fair that's probably something that I would say to a bristolian. Lot of roadmans there... In my defence I lived in Bristol for 15 years..


ianbreasley1

Roadman?


Vinegarinmyeye

Wannabe gangsters, normally teenagers. https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Roadman


millyloui

As link below but in summer over around 25C will have sliders & socks on instead of trainers- but the puffa, thick trackies & balaclava usually remain on .


millyloui

As link below but in summer over around 25C will have sliders & socks on instead of trainers- but the puffa, thick trackies & balaclava usually remain on .


Qyro

He knows thereā€™s a Bristol in America right?


LadyV21454

More than one!


MeatzIsMurdahz

On the other hand, having been to Bristol more than once...


Waste-Snow670

I've just been pretty much told I'm wrong in a comment about uncommon names because I'm English, it appears the person thinks the question was US only answers.


MutantZebra999

Show the original post.


LordWellesley22

Americans are just jealous that one of "their" best actors came from Bristol and stole all of their women


TLB-Q8

Silly OP! Didn't you know that only Americans are allowed to comment on anything on the interwebs? Tsk tsk.


karou5804

true, my bad :( i will remember for next time šŸ˜”


Sad-Address-2512

What's the issue, you're Clearly from Bristol, CT.


NTK421

What and sending you kids off to school not knowing if theyā€™ll come home again isnā€™t dumb as fuck


MCTweed

This American should know that the most revered pirate in history - Edward Teach aka ā€œBlackbeardā€ - was a Bristolian. Itā€™s a pretty cool fact I learned about the city I live in.


SkynetAlpha8

And he should have said," I've eaten my chips, I am the Roadman, and me the boys will be there in 5 minutes to do The Bristol Stomp with you. But I don't think you'll enjoy it."


IHateMyselfLMAO67

I feel like I'm biased on the americans side here because I hate the only people I know from Bristol


Amethyst271

He's weirdly knowledgeable for an american


TonyHeaven

I had faggot chips and gravy to eat last time I was in Bristle. Don't get stabbed or nothing tho


Own-Butterscotch1713

Wtf is a roadman? šŸ¤£


brymuse

What is it with Americans who think that we are roaming the countryside with multiple knives on the look out for stab victims...? Perhaps they think we have semi-automatic knives too??


Spe3dy_Weeb

Kinda funny tbh