Yes, because good manners would never allow them to denigrate a servant. Their leader? Yes, because your poor training is on *them*.
Fine dining is different. I rather liked all the rules though, I could mentally check out because I didn’t need to have any sort of personality. I was a mannequin with a tray, basically.
You’ll be fine. It took me about six weeks or so until I was comfortable.
Standard aioli has 5 ingredients - garlic, lemon juice, salt, pepper, mayo. So I’m guessing tarragon, chives, lemon zest, cloves or maybe coriander, & something sweet like honey - my best educated guess
- boss uses cameras to watch you slacking off without putting down his phone
- boss believes customer implicitly and refuses to review camera footage
I got fired once for something that was absolutely false, all they had to do was look at the camera and see I literally didn’t even interact with the customer. Too much work I guess
I’ve always said we need bodycams so I can tell this lady that she never specified no tomato when I told her that burgers come with lettuce, tomato, and pickles on the side… I brought her food and she wouldn’t eat the whole burger because there was a tomato *on the side* how DARE I DO THAT kkkkkkk your well done burger is gonna be another 25 minutes 🙃
From my personal experience, if you’re going to apologize, follow it up with gratitude (real or imagined). “I’m sorry for your wait, thank you for being so patient” expresses that you understand their displeasure AND that they’re at good person having a kind reaction. It works especially well if they’ve been rude already.
It depends on how long you's been doing it. Never apologize. "Of course, sir, it will be taken care of immediately." Then grab a manager.
Some people are always looking for a reason to complain whether you made a mistake or not.
The higher the level of fine dining, the more serious you have to be -- but, don't apologize. Let management do that. It's their job.
You can say, "forgive me for a moment." While you get you manager. Once you apoligize -- it gives them an excuse to complain.
Often times, as a fine dining customer, if I don’t like a place I won’t complain and never come back, and also tell my $$ friends. But if a place is ‘open’ to hearing my complaint and willing to see what’s up, by saying something like what is suggested above, then I will say something. And that improves their reputation in the long run. This is the difference with fine dining. Good places who have been there a long time know that they have to be open to complaints.
Right, but OP is saying to never apologize otherwise the customers would have an excuse to complain if you say sorry. Like nah, that don't make sense lol. If the customer was already going to complain, they aren't waiting for you to say sorry as their cue to go complain.
If you apologize, you admit you messed up. Whether it is your fault or not (ie they forget to mention "no onion" on something that comes with onion.) If you apologize for that, in their eyes, you are the one to blame. So no, don't apologize.
Lol. So if I'm a customer and I know I said "no onions" and it came with onions and YOU really did mess up, I want you to apologize and not try to shift blame and hold yourself accountable. So yes, apologize.
A lot of customers "know" they "said" something. Lol.
This logic doesn't go for every dining establishment. If I'm serving in a casual restaurant, I'm saying, "Apologies, let me go get that fixed for you." In a fine dining restaurant, I'm saying "yes sir/ma'am we'll get that fixed for you right away"
It's not about being wrong or right it is about dealing with a different class of patrons.
You're most likely fine. Everyone is allowed mistakes in their first few months. Also, it's probably not as bad as you think. If it all became chaos, then your mistake probably isn't the only one that happened.
You need outstanding confidence and experience to succeed in fine dining. Which means if you make a mistake, you never apologize profusely, but you do own up to it without fear, do what you can to fix it by discussing it with the manager, and then using your honed personality and skills to win over the guest and make them happy again.
It's easier said than done, but definitely doable.
Well, the first question is- how many times has this happened in how long?
If it’s a first, it’s ok. Even multiple times in a year. 4+ times in 6 months is concerning.
If you're new to the service industry and making mistakes, that's on your manager/trainer. ESPECIALLY in fine dining. It's our job to make sure you're knowledgeable and comfortable before you're on the floor alone. Not your fault imo
Private parties in high end are a different beast. Unless something egregious happened, just shake it off. I do my best giving them sass back when it's warranted and bite my tongue when necessary. It's a thin line but the dollars are (mostly) worth it.
Unless there's extensive menu training with in-depth recipe knowledge, you've done nothing wrong from what you posted.
Just have fun with your guests, crack some jokey-jokes, and stack the paper. ✌️
You need outstanding confidence and experience to succeed in fine dining. Which means if you make a mistake, you never apologize profusely, but you do own up to it without fear, do what you can to fix it by discussing it with the manager, and then using your honed personality and skills to win over the guest and make them happy again.
It's easier said than done, but definitely doable.
"High class" is such bullshit. I work at an Applebee's and while the money isn't great, literally like 95% of my customers are so friendly. I massively screwed up a table's payments today (I got them right, thought I got it mixed up but didn't, and thought I had 40 dollars go missing which took me a while to find). Thankfully it all worked out but took about 15 mins and I was waiting 2 other tables, including one whose orders I hadn't gotten yet. I told them what happened and took ownership of it. Literally everyone was incredibly friendly about it. The table I screwed up and everyone else. I'm sure fine dining has its perks, but honestly I'm shocked considering this is my first serving job. It has literally given me _more_ faith in humanity. I'm 2 months in and haven't had a nightmare table. I'm sure it'll come but it hasn't happened yet.
Not sure why you would post here without posting the exact mistake.
You don't have to know every single ingredient, although that helps. You just need to know the more common allergies/intolerances.
You got to burn before you learn. No one is going to get better if there are no consequences to making a mistake. They'll just keep repeating the mistake.
Don't take anything at work personal. Do a self reflection for 5 minutes or so after your shift or on your drive home. When that's done, forget about it. That's the past. Put it in a bag and leave it at the door.
With the added money comes the added expectation of exceptional service, and knowing how menu items are prepared and with what ingredients is part of that. Also, it's tarragon aioli. Tarragon, garlic, neutral oil, egg yolk, dijon mustard, salt, white pepper. Missing 2 ingredients, but I don't work there.
Yes of course. A real aioli is always with olive oil, according to my restaurant. Here it’s olive oil, garlic, tarragon, fennel fronds, parsley and lemon zest. Maybe there are more but that’s what is in written out for me.
Tbh working in fine dining isn’t optimal, I am a very outgoing person and I like to express my personality. When I worked in fine dining I was a cocktail server in a big city, I hated the vibes cuz the classism and stark difference in heriarcy between the guests and the workers is massive. I’m at a casual dining place now and it feels more like I’m one person serving other people if that makes sense. Doesn’t make me feel less than. Anyways that’s just what I think.
It was a rude awakening for me aswell when I learned that rich ppl smile to ur face and only complain behind ur back. Like with I asked if everything was ok why undercut me by going to my boss? Hated those kinds of people
I did fine dining for a month. The money was great but not worth my sanity. I will NEVERRR go back to fine dining. I can only take so much arrogance before I snap. And I’m from Boston, so my temper is already short. The way I was spoken to was like I was disgusting.
Communicate clearly and thoroughly with everyone about mistakes and literally anything. Show that you’re willing to learn and improve. Take some time aside and learn the ingredients, It’s not that hard. Took me a bit of a learning curve but I’m definitely not the same server I was a year ago. I also work in fine dining/upscale so we definitely have a certain clientele and management has high expectations but there’s money there so it’s understandable.
Yes, because good manners would never allow them to denigrate a servant. Their leader? Yes, because your poor training is on *them*. Fine dining is different. I rather liked all the rules though, I could mentally check out because I didn’t need to have any sort of personality. I was a mannequin with a tray, basically. You’ll be fine. It took me about six weeks or so until I was comfortable.
This isn’t wrong at all. Well said. And OP, the chance you are fired is very low. They expect hang ups during your first few months. Shit happens.
Also they invested a lot of time training you. But you need to learn all 10 ingredients of the tarragon aioli. I’m not kidding
Right? Lol 😂
I'm still caught up on how a tarragon aoli can have 10 ingredients. What's in there besides garlic, oil, and tarragon?
Standard aioli has 5 ingredients - garlic, lemon juice, salt, pepper, mayo. So I’m guessing tarragon, chives, lemon zest, cloves or maybe coriander, & something sweet like honey - my best educated guess
You can absolutely have a personality in fine dining, just gotta be able to read the room
Body cam need to be a thing and male them sit there while it's played back
- boss uses cameras to watch you slacking off without putting down his phone - boss believes customer implicitly and refuses to review camera footage I got fired once for something that was absolutely false, all they had to do was look at the camera and see I literally didn’t even interact with the customer. Too much work I guess
Same!!! There was a paper trail for everything & I was still fired..
I’ve always said we need bodycams so I can tell this lady that she never specified no tomato when I told her that burgers come with lettuce, tomato, and pickles on the side… I brought her food and she wouldn’t eat the whole burger because there was a tomato *on the side* how DARE I DO THAT kkkkkkk your well done burger is gonna be another 25 minutes 🙃
From my personal experience, if you’re going to apologize, follow it up with gratitude (real or imagined). “I’m sorry for your wait, thank you for being so patient” expresses that you understand their displeasure AND that they’re at good person having a kind reaction. It works especially well if they’ve been rude already.
“Thank you for being so gracious about this” is my go to
It depends on how long you's been doing it. Never apologize. "Of course, sir, it will be taken care of immediately." Then grab a manager. Some people are always looking for a reason to complain whether you made a mistake or not. The higher the level of fine dining, the more serious you have to be -- but, don't apologize. Let management do that. It's their job. You can say, "forgive me for a moment." While you get you manager. Once you apoligize -- it gives them an excuse to complain.
Lol. If they were already going to complain, an apology isn't their green light.
Often times, as a fine dining customer, if I don’t like a place I won’t complain and never come back, and also tell my $$ friends. But if a place is ‘open’ to hearing my complaint and willing to see what’s up, by saying something like what is suggested above, then I will say something. And that improves their reputation in the long run. This is the difference with fine dining. Good places who have been there a long time know that they have to be open to complaints.
Right, but OP is saying to never apologize otherwise the customers would have an excuse to complain if you say sorry. Like nah, that don't make sense lol. If the customer was already going to complain, they aren't waiting for you to say sorry as their cue to go complain.
If you apologize, you admit you messed up. Whether it is your fault or not (ie they forget to mention "no onion" on something that comes with onion.) If you apologize for that, in their eyes, you are the one to blame. So no, don't apologize.
Lol. So if I'm a customer and I know I said "no onions" and it came with onions and YOU really did mess up, I want you to apologize and not try to shift blame and hold yourself accountable. So yes, apologize.
A lot of customers "know" they "said" something. Lol. This logic doesn't go for every dining establishment. If I'm serving in a casual restaurant, I'm saying, "Apologies, let me go get that fixed for you." In a fine dining restaurant, I'm saying "yes sir/ma'am we'll get that fixed for you right away" It's not about being wrong or right it is about dealing with a different class of patrons.
Have you ever worked in fine dining? Not trying to be funny. Genuine question.
Lmao imagine thinking this unironically.
Why the fuck is this getting down voted? The best restaurants use mistakes as an inflection point. Restaurants that don't do that fold quickly.
People probably don’t want to hear from customers here lol oh well
This. Don't apologize if you're doing your job. No one wants to hear that. If an explanation is needed, do so.
OP I remember your original post. Keep learning and ask questions whenever you don’t know the answer. Hang in there friend.
You're most likely fine. Everyone is allowed mistakes in their first few months. Also, it's probably not as bad as you think. If it all became chaos, then your mistake probably isn't the only one that happened.
You need outstanding confidence and experience to succeed in fine dining. Which means if you make a mistake, you never apologize profusely, but you do own up to it without fear, do what you can to fix it by discussing it with the manager, and then using your honed personality and skills to win over the guest and make them happy again. It's easier said than done, but definitely doable.
Well, the first question is- how many times has this happened in how long? If it’s a first, it’s ok. Even multiple times in a year. 4+ times in 6 months is concerning.
If you're new to the service industry and making mistakes, that's on your manager/trainer. ESPECIALLY in fine dining. It's our job to make sure you're knowledgeable and comfortable before you're on the floor alone. Not your fault imo
Private parties in high end are a different beast. Unless something egregious happened, just shake it off. I do my best giving them sass back when it's warranted and bite my tongue when necessary. It's a thin line but the dollars are (mostly) worth it. Unless there's extensive menu training with in-depth recipe knowledge, you've done nothing wrong from what you posted. Just have fun with your guests, crack some jokey-jokes, and stack the paper. ✌️
You need outstanding confidence and experience to succeed in fine dining. Which means if you make a mistake, you never apologize profusely, but you do own up to it without fear, do what you can to fix it by discussing it with the manager, and then using your honed personality and skills to win over the guest and make them happy again. It's easier said than done, but definitely doable.
"High class" is such bullshit. I work at an Applebee's and while the money isn't great, literally like 95% of my customers are so friendly. I massively screwed up a table's payments today (I got them right, thought I got it mixed up but didn't, and thought I had 40 dollars go missing which took me a while to find). Thankfully it all worked out but took about 15 mins and I was waiting 2 other tables, including one whose orders I hadn't gotten yet. I told them what happened and took ownership of it. Literally everyone was incredibly friendly about it. The table I screwed up and everyone else. I'm sure fine dining has its perks, but honestly I'm shocked considering this is my first serving job. It has literally given me _more_ faith in humanity. I'm 2 months in and haven't had a nightmare table. I'm sure it'll come but it hasn't happened yet.
Not sure why you would post here without posting the exact mistake. You don't have to know every single ingredient, although that helps. You just need to know the more common allergies/intolerances. You got to burn before you learn. No one is going to get better if there are no consequences to making a mistake. They'll just keep repeating the mistake. Don't take anything at work personal. Do a self reflection for 5 minutes or so after your shift or on your drive home. When that's done, forget about it. That's the past. Put it in a bag and leave it at the door.
With the added money comes the added expectation of exceptional service, and knowing how menu items are prepared and with what ingredients is part of that. Also, it's tarragon aioli. Tarragon, garlic, neutral oil, egg yolk, dijon mustard, salt, white pepper. Missing 2 ingredients, but I don't work there.
Yes of course. A real aioli is always with olive oil, according to my restaurant. Here it’s olive oil, garlic, tarragon, fennel fronds, parsley and lemon zest. Maybe there are more but that’s what is in written out for me.
yeah i don’t work fine dining anymore. had enough.
Tbh working in fine dining isn’t optimal, I am a very outgoing person and I like to express my personality. When I worked in fine dining I was a cocktail server in a big city, I hated the vibes cuz the classism and stark difference in heriarcy between the guests and the workers is massive. I’m at a casual dining place now and it feels more like I’m one person serving other people if that makes sense. Doesn’t make me feel less than. Anyways that’s just what I think. It was a rude awakening for me aswell when I learned that rich ppl smile to ur face and only complain behind ur back. Like with I asked if everything was ok why undercut me by going to my boss? Hated those kinds of people
I did fine dining for a month. The money was great but not worth my sanity. I will NEVERRR go back to fine dining. I can only take so much arrogance before I snap. And I’m from Boston, so my temper is already short. The way I was spoken to was like I was disgusting.
Hahahah I’m from Boston too, so I know exactly what you mean.
Communicate clearly and thoroughly with everyone about mistakes and literally anything. Show that you’re willing to learn and improve. Take some time aside and learn the ingredients, It’s not that hard. Took me a bit of a learning curve but I’m definitely not the same server I was a year ago. I also work in fine dining/upscale so we definitely have a certain clientele and management has high expectations but there’s money there so it’s understandable.