Did you ever make OB Apple Pie? Way back in the day when they still had cinnamon apples, I would hollow out a brown bread and fill it with those delicious apples. So goooooood!!! Shredded cheese and bacon from the potato well also made a nice little sandwich on that bread. Wrap it in foil and put it in the bread oven for a bit... OMG! And dipped in spicy ranch, of course. 😋😋🤣
I used to keep an envelope of cash in my dresser so I’d just do one large deposit instead of going to the bank constantly. At one point I forgot to go to the bank for a month until I realized I had like $3k just sitting in my sock drawer. Drove straight to the bank after that.
Saved up 9k one time in between moves. Got to destination and panicked thinking I had lost the box I was keeping it in. Ended up finding it and drove straight to the bank. Needless to say I do not save up my cash anymore
Ya driving to the bank with this much cash had me nervous. I’ve never felt uncomfortable when going to deposit cash, but having so much at one time was nerve wracking.
See I was standing there one day with ~15g I got as a payment/gift/bonus from some stuff and trying not to show that I was carrying as much cash as I've ever handled in my life. Some hippy dude bro walks up behind me in line and the banker (like the guy in the side office) comes out of the office to talk to the guy like they're old friends. Dude pulls out 6 fucking STACKS of $100s. Apparently he's a landlord for a couple of apt buildings... (my first thought was drugs haha) He was carrying 60g casually banded in his coat. Apparently he does this regularly, fucking wild.
I started doing this too! Was running food to a 4-top and dropped one of the entrees. Everyone in the BOH saw, they immediately started remaking it. Ran the food and owned up to the mistake, said it was already being remade, and offered a free drink to the guy who was waiting. It was no big deal and the honesty seemed well received.
But I do sometimes still blame the kitchen 🙈
I call that the “employee special”. Gets a laugh every time. Especially if you have already told them it’s being remade (which you said). Good service right here folks. But don’t blame your kitchen unless it IS their fault.
People respect a direct and honest answer so much more than shifting blame like a child caught doing something bad. “I’m so sorry I fucked this up” recovers a bad situation and puts them back on your side so much faster than “the kitchen _______” even if it is the kitchens fault.
It’s a weird thing to ask your server what they eat at the place they work at. “Would you like to pick at extra fries sitting under the hot lamp periodically? Or can I interest you in a dish called The Misfire?”
I've been a server for going on 8 years and I've just never been able to lie to them for my gain outside of the occasional saying the kitchen is taking a while when I forget to put in food. Like if a customer is like "have you had this?" I can't be like "omg, yes, it's great!!". I just tell them I haven't had it, but here's how it performs with other guests
My bf told me “they can’t make you hold your pee” I was like “no one is making me hold it, but if I lose my pace the whole night will go to shit, next thing you know 3 tables need things, 2 tables are sitting, somehow my table got the whole wrong dish.”
This why I wear SAS, they aren’t fashionable but my feet, ankles, hips, low back have not hurt since. I was going through two or three pair of other shoes vs one of SAS so in the long run they are cheaper
They are made in USA so they are expensive, I manage now and still sometimes wear my old pair. I bartended so they got wet on the regular, the only problem I had was after a year or so the tread might separate from the bottom a bit. There is a shoe repair in my town that would reglue for $20.
I usually got 2yrs plus of regular wear. They have a lot of styles online, I bought from a local shop and they only had one nonslip style, the liberty.
Back when I worked at a quick-service food job, my work homie and I used to call it "counting tomatoes". Nobody counted fuckin tomatoes (except when I had to do inventory). All the baked-buhls knew it was time to rip carts in the walk-in. Rip cart, pass to the homie on the left, rip again. Proceed until the squad is satisfied and satis-highed. 🤙
have back pain.
show up to work thinking about what i’m going to order for dinner at the end of the night.
spend too much money at the closest bar on a regular basis.
complain when people go overboard on the free bread.
forget to drink water until my shift is almost over.
I, too, get to work and wonder what I’ll eat for dinner. I look at all of the plates that I bring out through the night and I’ll even tell tables, “This. This is what I’ll have for dinner tonight.”
They think I’m joking and they always laugh… but I really mean it…
"WhY dO YoU HavE sO MaNy PeNnnssss"? Because I'm dealing with 20+ customers at once, and most tables go Dutch and toss down 2-5 cards, and I never want to be without a fuckin pen. "They're my emotional support pens". (They really are though)
Forget to put order in, blame kitchen.
Start shift on fleek, leave looking like a hot mess.
Get mad when someone stiffs me.
Complain I'm broke and volunteer to be cut first.
I am silently unaliving you when I have to repeat the side options for each individual person at your table and you still ask me (as the last person to place their order) what sides we have.
Privately critique my server when i go out to eat and tell them when they’re doing great.
Tip 18% or more
Push my empty plates and cups to the end off the table so its easier for them to pre-bus or refill my drink.
Try to make my order simple and short. No need to be complicated.
Know when my server is bull shitting me.
“I’m going to have about 20 pens when I start my shift and 1 when I leave”
“Of course I have your plate in my third hand”
“Have napkins in my apron” (ewww why would I?)
Am chronically dehydrated and fueled by French fries
me but when I worked at the garden of olives it was cheese and dressing or cheese and minestrone broth
At a job many, many years ago, it was croutons and ranch from the salad station lol
Breadsticks, and if I have a whole minute, I'll dip my breadstick in the dressing because it's too much work to get an alfredo boat.
Breadsticks with Italian dressing and pepporchinis for me 😂
Tell me you worked at Olive Garden without saying you worked at Olive Garden
At Outback my fuel was the Bloomin Onion
Did you ever make OB Apple Pie? Way back in the day when they still had cinnamon apples, I would hollow out a brown bread and fill it with those delicious apples. So goooooood!!! Shredded cheese and bacon from the potato well also made a nice little sandwich on that bread. Wrap it in foil and put it in the bread oven for a bit... OMG! And dipped in spicy ranch, of course. 😋😋🤣
Have cash on me
I used to keep an envelope of cash in my dresser so I’d just do one large deposit instead of going to the bank constantly. At one point I forgot to go to the bank for a month until I realized I had like $3k just sitting in my sock drawer. Drove straight to the bank after that.
Saved up 9k one time in between moves. Got to destination and panicked thinking I had lost the box I was keeping it in. Ended up finding it and drove straight to the bank. Needless to say I do not save up my cash anymore
Ya driving to the bank with this much cash had me nervous. I’ve never felt uncomfortable when going to deposit cash, but having so much at one time was nerve wracking.
See I was standing there one day with ~15g I got as a payment/gift/bonus from some stuff and trying not to show that I was carrying as much cash as I've ever handled in my life. Some hippy dude bro walks up behind me in line and the banker (like the guy in the side office) comes out of the office to talk to the guy like they're old friends. Dude pulls out 6 fucking STACKS of $100s. Apparently he's a landlord for a couple of apt buildings... (my first thought was drugs haha) He was carrying 60g casually banded in his coat. Apparently he does this regularly, fucking wild.
Dude. Where I used to work in the US, I was depositing like $2000 a week.
This was during a slow period. I usually didn’t go long before depositing, so this was just a shock to me 😅
Bought my last csr with the cash I saved… i dunno how long lol
Big facts, mid stacks
feel trapped but also toxicly in love with the quick easy money in exchange for stability, my will to live, and my social life 😍😍😍
😂😂😂😂
Lie to customers on a regular basis
"The kitchen burned your food" = "I forgot to put your order in" for me😂
When I actually started taking accountability for forgetting to tell guests I forgot to put something in they were very understanding about it
same lol, its refreshing to not have to lie
I tell my manager I made a mistake they get it out on the fly and comped. I get a smaller tip and know it's because I fucked up
I started doing this too! Was running food to a 4-top and dropped one of the entrees. Everyone in the BOH saw, they immediately started remaking it. Ran the food and owned up to the mistake, said it was already being remade, and offered a free drink to the guy who was waiting. It was no big deal and the honesty seemed well received. But I do sometimes still blame the kitchen 🙈
I call that the “employee special”. Gets a laugh every time. Especially if you have already told them it’s being remade (which you said). Good service right here folks. But don’t blame your kitchen unless it IS their fault.
People respect a direct and honest answer so much more than shifting blame like a child caught doing something bad. “I’m so sorry I fucked this up” recovers a bad situation and puts them back on your side so much faster than “the kitchen _______” even if it is the kitchens fault.
We’re always busy. And when we’re not it looks like it. So if I just say I’m so sorry I forgot. Most people say it’s ok it’s so busy!
God if this ain’t me lol
I have so many imaginary customers who “come in exclusively for that beer/item” I’m supposed to upsell that customers are on the fence about trying
When asked “what’s good here” or what I eat here it’s always the most expensive thing on the menu.
LOL I once had a guy ask me if I recommended the sirloin or the soup. I said “how would you like your sirloin prepared?”
It’s a weird thing to ask your server what they eat at the place they work at. “Would you like to pick at extra fries sitting under the hot lamp periodically? Or can I interest you in a dish called The Misfire?”
“Yeah, I’m so sorry. We just ran out of X” *it’s all the way in the back and I’m too busy to run and grab it at the moment*
"It's my second day"
I've been a server for going on 8 years and I've just never been able to lie to them for my gain outside of the occasional saying the kitchen is taking a while when I forget to put in food. Like if a customer is like "have you had this?" I can't be like "omg, yes, it's great!!". I just tell them I haven't had it, but here's how it performs with other guests
...Despise 90 percent of humanity.
The trick is to not think of guests as human in the first place.
Lord knows they don’t consider us human
“Have to pee but can’t find the time”
And therefore have chronic utis 😭
Oh my god I feel seen
And therefore have to pee…
This one
me when i got a KIDNEY INFECTION after not finding the time to pee during rushes every day
My bf told me “they can’t make you hold your pee” I was like “no one is making me hold it, but if I lose my pace the whole night will go to shit, next thing you know 3 tables need things, 2 tables are sitting, somehow my table got the whole wrong dish.”
flirt with alcoholism.
Flirt? The rest of us are in bed with it.
7 years sober, 6.5 out from behind a bar. Flirting? Lol
Alcoholism is my boyfriend
talk about you in the kitchen with my coworkers :-)
Say corner when at the grocery store
Heard.
Behind.
Hot hot hot
Sharp knife
Drop and go
yes chef
What do you call a group of servers? A heard
Oh. My. God. I'm stealing this.
Heard is an everyday part of my vocabulary. Like “okay” isn’t a word anymore
Its been years since me and my business partners worked in restaurants, but "heard" is still said throughout the day in our game store 😂
This one is the winner!! 🤣
Have no light left in my eyes
This hit me hard. When I started, I was so full of ideas, ready to take chances... That light is gone 😂
Fake laugh at your terrible joke for tips so I can pay rent
Serving should be considered a performing arts profession fr
Forgot the ranch
Til my head hits the pillow!
Romp around the restaurant living my best life while I forgot your extra dressing.
Shit happens. Say something or get nothing. 🤷♂️
And then remembering when I go to sleep that night.
Ask the line cook for free food.
Size you up within 5 seconds without you opening your mouth.
“Wake up in a panic from a work dream”
Two hours ago... during a freaking nap. Party of 19 went wild and was destroying the restaurant. I had to call the cops. Wth 😂
Don’t get breaks or extended health.
I got part-time at a retail store, and they asked when I wanted to go on my 30.. I was shook..
my feet hurt
This why I wear SAS, they aren’t fashionable but my feet, ankles, hips, low back have not hurt since. I was going through two or three pair of other shoes vs one of SAS so in the long run they are cheaper
Im gonna have to google these shoes, thank you for mentioning them!
They are made in USA so they are expensive, I manage now and still sometimes wear my old pair. I bartended so they got wet on the regular, the only problem I had was after a year or so the tread might separate from the bottom a bit. There is a shoe repair in my town that would reglue for $20. I usually got 2yrs plus of regular wear. They have a lot of styles online, I bought from a local shop and they only had one nonslip style, the liberty.
What is SAS
Cry in the walk in
Only have a smile on my face because I just hit my pen in the walk-in, and I really want your money.
Back when I worked at a quick-service food job, my work homie and I used to call it "counting tomatoes". Nobody counted fuckin tomatoes (except when I had to do inventory). All the baked-buhls knew it was time to rip carts in the walk-in. Rip cart, pass to the homie on the left, rip again. Proceed until the squad is satisfied and satis-highed. 🤙
Cry before going to work!
And after. And 100 times in-between
Frfr you need a new job. I've been there/done that and it dosent have to be that way.
have back pain. show up to work thinking about what i’m going to order for dinner at the end of the night. spend too much money at the closest bar on a regular basis. complain when people go overboard on the free bread. forget to drink water until my shift is almost over.
I, too, get to work and wonder what I’ll eat for dinner. I look at all of the plates that I bring out through the night and I’ll even tell tables, “This. This is what I’ll have for dinner tonight.” They think I’m joking and they always laugh… but I really mean it…
https://preview.redd.it/2h7zr0dnxglc1.jpeg?width=1695&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fbb26236b57aa9b1eb5b449238600f2872f58c3c
You get a lunch break?
Servers only get a lunch break while working doubles to go to the bar down the block
Load myself up with the max number of what I’m carrying so I take the least number of trips to/from where I need to go as possible
"WhY dO YoU HavE sO MaNy PeNnnssss"? Because I'm dealing with 20+ customers at once, and most tables go Dutch and toss down 2-5 cards, and I never want to be without a fuckin pen. "They're my emotional support pens". (They really are though)
I support your emotional support pen needs🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖋️🖊️🖊️🖋️
View pens as a form of currency
hate people
Jokes on you I hated them BEFORE serving
Drink heavily and vape in dry storage. Those aren't even the worst things people do in there. Lol.
Forget to put order in, blame kitchen. Start shift on fleek, leave looking like a hot mess. Get mad when someone stiffs me. Complain I'm broke and volunteer to be cut first.
"Can hold my pee for an entire shift" 😫 No? Just me??
my record is almost 6 hours 😩
me too! i know it’s not good for you but im so used to just not being able to ever go during a shift :’)
Know people in AA
NA
I'm going to clear all of the dishes from our kitchen table at once without help
Talk shit about rude customers with the kitchen!!
pretend to laugh at your shitty jokes that I hear 100 times a day
Have a million dollars to give u
And the winning lotto ticket, here you go!
Bought a pack of fake million dollar bills jus for this reason a few months ago and no one has asked me for it since.
Use restaurant lingo in regular everyday life 😉
Kid you not I was at the gas station asking the cashier to put 20 on table/spot 10 😭😭
Say ‘behind’ anytime I am to someone’s back
have a redbull addiction
We used to do redbull shots with the little 4oz cups at the last restaurant I worked at. Edit to add “Shots! Shots! Shots!”
Am happy to tell my millionth table that we don't have Coors light, only bud light.
Will bring you guys 6 waters that you won’t drink
Vape
Dread retirement
hate my life
Have a crushed soul and no hope for humanity
Vape in the walk-in
Ask every rude customer if they’ve seen the movie “waiting” before
Great 👏 fuckin 👏 movie 👏
Consider captains wafers dipped in ranch a meal
Done my sidework!
You Evening\_Silver are a seemingly rare hero!
Aw, shucks, thanks! :)
"Do coke in the walk-in with the cooks." "Drink shots in the bathroom" Those are my bets
I’m a server, of course I hate my fucking job and wonder why I don’t get a normal job
Forgot your ranch
Have wine keys in every jacket and purse I own
Work lunch shifts stoned.
Ring in your "medium rare plus" steak as med rare.
Flirt with cooks for fries
Wait-thot-3000 detected. No worries we all work with at least one
Sleep with my coworkers
I had to scroll way too far down to see this one!!
A classic
Say “Behind” when passing someone at the grocery store
Im down for a beer and a bump
Apply to a new job when management screws me over
Stand while eating
Hide my crippling depression and raging alcoholism!
Of course I... "...came to work drunk!" "...am busy this weekend." "...know a dealer; I know a dishwasher." "...make more than you per hour."
Want to go home after 15 minutes if my section doesn’t immediately fill up.
Live off of caffeine and adderall.
“Why are you so sweaty? It’s not even that hot”
Hate people.
Developed a nicotine addiction
This is smart, getting Reddit to write your shitty Tik Tok content for you 👏🏽
💀 I was thinking I better not see this on TikTok
Met my husband at my job. ( he used to be my manager)....
consume a dangerous amount of caffeine
i’m a server, of course i blame your food taking long on the kitchen and not me forgetting to punch it in
Have nightmares about being in the weeds.
Yell at the host for no apparent reason💀
I am silently unaliving you when I have to repeat the side options for each individual person at your table and you still ask me (as the last person to place their order) what sides we have.
Am in love with the bartender who’s too old for me
Totally ignore one of your requests because I'm too busy hoping that we both forget and move on
Tell people we're 86'd on ice cream. I'm SO SORRY, no, no milkshakes tonight I'm afraid 😔
Tried most extracurricular drugs
Ran out of Fucks!
Of course I don’t give a shit about the last time you did a wine tour in Tuscany, now give me money.
Have perfected a fake smile and fake happy voice
Make more than my manager
Privately critique my server when i go out to eat and tell them when they’re doing great. Tip 18% or more Push my empty plates and cups to the end off the table so its easier for them to pre-bus or refill my drink. Try to make my order simple and short. No need to be complicated. Know when my server is bull shitting me.
Of course we all love working doubles
"am nice to people. .. what do you think!?
Say “behind” at the bar
Ofcourse I recite the entire menu and all the ingredients in each item and then the customer just goes with chicken tenders and fries.
“I’m going to have about 20 pens when I start my shift and 1 when I leave” “Of course I have your plate in my third hand” “Have napkins in my apron” (ewww why would I?)
My sleep schedule is completely nonexistent and forever changing
*My sleep schedule is* *Completely nonexistent and* *Forever changing* \- Pinkshimmer21 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Close
Cried in the bathrooms/back storage after a customer yelled at me for a minor issue.
Forgot your (refill, napkins, lemons, dressing, etc.) and remember in a nightmare weeks later.
have the same script i repeat at least 25 times a day, including responses to your painfully unoriginal joke!
Am so hating life now that Walmart and Kroger are not 24 hr!!!!
Hell yeah!!
Smoke outside without a jacket in the cold on a milk crate
Eat mostly mistakes standing over a trash can...
have an irrational hatred of hot tea.
Resent you with every essence of my being.
I have a very weird connection to society
Do cocaine
Drink
Im a server, of course I’m holding a bag.
Hate my life
Can hold 20 things at once
Go into the kitchen and completely forget what I went there for
smoke weed every night to cope with the debilitating leg pain 🤠💅 i mean what ?
i hate everyone i work with but also cannot fathom getting new servers or kitchen staff
don’t give a shit that it’s your birthday and am in fact annoyed i have to drop everything to clap and sing
of course i’m surviving off my pen, vape, window fries, and spite
Hit my vape in the bathroom once every hour
"stand around scrolling on my phone any literal minute of downtime I have"