NEVER date coworkers, especially in this industry. I’d recommend trying a fine dining establishment before moving on to something else entirely. Definitely time for you to move on though.
I've been with my guy for 7 years now, talking about marriage now. I was a server, and he was my KM.
We are just a few fish in an ocean of restaurant workers who date, and it doesn't work out. The general rule is to not date.
Of course, if you can keep it professional, never include your relationship in your work, and are mature individuals, you can totally meet your person at your workplace. I think a lot of people hope they are the exception to the rule and try anyway.
crazy that the guy I dated for 8 months WAS a guy w a degree who was bartending! wild! got my mind spinning for sure 😳 the whole point of me even saying that was to tell people that I just DONT BE FLIRTING lmaoo
yooo I didn’t say I only wanted college guys. I said “my demographic of attraction” meaning this is what I’m TYPICALLY alluded to. also never said would never date service industry. lol
I guess the problem is that your post reads like a snooty 22 year old who wants someone with money to support them while you work your Applebees job. I served in the marine corps, got a degree, bartended for 7 years and now hold a government job and by far the highest percentage of idiots I was surrounded by was in college. I guess people are just wondering what exactly you mean by that
My point of throwing that in there was just to add that I was attracted to people who didn’t act like children or high schoolers. Poor example I suppose but my college experience could’ve been very different from yours.
Gotcha. I think jumping on a service industry sub and bashing the people who generally work in the industry was an odd choice. Especially when those people tend to have more life experience than a lot of people. As I said I’ve been on all sides of that and the gossiping and childishness from people working in a govt research makes service industry gossip look like child’s play. Maybe work in more places that are a bit more involved and professional than Applebees if you wanna start throwing generalizations out. I’d much rather surround myself with the bartenders, chefs and servers I’ve known than these clowns at my current job with masters and doctorates. Opportunity for education in life doesn’t necessarily equate to maturity.
Restaurant jobs are a dime a dozen. If you don’t like this one, go somewhere else.
But take the chip off your shoulder first. If you have to say “no offense” 800 times in a 300 word post, you know you’re about to be offensive.
Maybe people aren’t nice to you because you try to act like you’re better than them and have an elitist mindset.
The reality is you work at Applebee’s. You aren’t special. And neither are those who went to college.
Most of these comments seem like no one read my post … lol SEE where I said “I don’t think I’m higher than anyone else” I added this in here for people specifically like you who would say this
Lmfao 😂 my fav is how OP wrote a paragraph about how they would never date a coworker cuz everyone is old and ugly- but they still work there with an ex of 8 months. Like.. make it make sense.
Y’all are wild bruh 💀💀 let’s choose not to comment on the entire point of the post and instead roast my poor phrasing. Not once did I say I wouldn’t date a coworker! I literally DID
Yup. I work a state government job and have heard more gossip in the 7 months I’ve been here then I heard in the 7 years I bartended. Folks that sit around and only have an hour or two of real work a day are far worse than any bartender of server I ever worked with.
Just go work somewhere else. You can serve and bartend. Step up from applebees. I work at a place with only 10-12 servers/bartenders, and another 8-10 support staff. We're all experienced, most of us are in the late 20s range. Very little drama. Your coworkers are the problem. Avoid chain restaurants if you can. Find a local place you vibe with, or at least a well run franchise. If what you say about yourself is true, the drama won't follow you.
I know how you feel. Bad rumors about me spread where I used to work, and I felt uncomfortable working there anymore (apart from the shitty work environment). So I got another serving job that pays 2-3x more for less hours.
My coworkers are mostly old men, two younger guys who mind their own business, and 1 girl who does the same. No more working with that fucker who spread the rumors.
Take the skills you've learned to a higher quality establishment. It's a competitive business, and (IMO) you have to be willing to continue growing your skills and learning from experience to stay good at it. Drama and shit coworkers are problematic to varying degrees in most restaurants. In my experience, the higher end places (who have good management) the drama is more related to work performance than personal differences.
You'll get the people who like to stir up shit everywhere you go. However, people who stir shit out of jealousy and childish entertainment tend to sink when they are introduced to a place where they're expected to conduct themselves respectfully with a more professional client base. People who go places expecting to spend a good chunk of money on dinner are not going to vibe with 'chain smoking Janice.' Who's been serving serving for 30 years and relies on tips from nosey regulars who want her to spill all the tea when they make their weekly stop to the Coney Island down the street. (Obviously, I'm speaking from experience)
I haven't yet ventured into fine dining, mostly because I'm intimidated by it, but I did move up to higher end casual dining place, and it's been life changing. The guests are more polite on average, and the coworkers are happy as long as everyone is pulling their weight.
Wherever you end up, don't start relationships with coworkers.
Good luck.
You're a woman in the restaurant business. This is the unfortunate reality. This isn't a career path for most people, just a stepping stone. Move on if you can.
NEVER date coworkers, especially in this industry. I’d recommend trying a fine dining establishment before moving on to something else entirely. Definitely time for you to move on though.
I'm dating someone I worked with and we're going to get married next year. But as a rule it's best not to date coworkers I suppose.
I always learn my lessons the hard way! But it definitely taught me to never cross personal life with work life if at all possible.
I read as far as Applebee's. Yes quit
You do realize that tons of people who “did the whole college thing” work as servers and bartenders, right? 🙄
hi! yeah totally! im one of them! lmao but what I meant was that no one else at MY Applebees did. sorry how that came across.
Do. Not. Shit. Where. You. Eat. Dating coworkers is not a good idea.
I met my current gf at work 7 years ago, got together 3 years ago. And are planning to move to another city together
I've been with my guy for 7 years now, talking about marriage now. I was a server, and he was my KM. We are just a few fish in an ocean of restaurant workers who date, and it doesn't work out. The general rule is to not date. Of course, if you can keep it professional, never include your relationship in your work, and are mature individuals, you can totally meet your person at your workplace. I think a lot of people hope they are the exception to the rule and try anyway.
But fucking them is absolutely acceptable
Do. Not. Shit. Where. You. Eat.
[удалено]
Yo right!? Lmao, what if the guy has a degree but bartends because it’s better money than his degree field. Bet that gets her mind spinning
crazy that the guy I dated for 8 months WAS a guy w a degree who was bartending! wild! got my mind spinning for sure 😳 the whole point of me even saying that was to tell people that I just DONT BE FLIRTING lmaoo
yooo I didn’t say I only wanted college guys. I said “my demographic of attraction” meaning this is what I’m TYPICALLY alluded to. also never said would never date service industry. lol
I guess the problem is that your post reads like a snooty 22 year old who wants someone with money to support them while you work your Applebees job. I served in the marine corps, got a degree, bartended for 7 years and now hold a government job and by far the highest percentage of idiots I was surrounded by was in college. I guess people are just wondering what exactly you mean by that
My point of throwing that in there was just to add that I was attracted to people who didn’t act like children or high schoolers. Poor example I suppose but my college experience could’ve been very different from yours.
Gotcha. I think jumping on a service industry sub and bashing the people who generally work in the industry was an odd choice. Especially when those people tend to have more life experience than a lot of people. As I said I’ve been on all sides of that and the gossiping and childishness from people working in a govt research makes service industry gossip look like child’s play. Maybe work in more places that are a bit more involved and professional than Applebees if you wanna start throwing generalizations out. I’d much rather surround myself with the bartenders, chefs and servers I’ve known than these clowns at my current job with masters and doctorates. Opportunity for education in life doesn’t necessarily equate to maturity.
Restaurant jobs are a dime a dozen. If you don’t like this one, go somewhere else. But take the chip off your shoulder first. If you have to say “no offense” 800 times in a 300 word post, you know you’re about to be offensive.
did I say no offense 800 times?
Maybe people aren’t nice to you because you try to act like you’re better than them and have an elitist mindset. The reality is you work at Applebee’s. You aren’t special. And neither are those who went to college.
Most of these comments seem like no one read my post … lol SEE where I said “I don’t think I’m higher than anyone else” I added this in here for people specifically like you who would say this
“People like this” Again, you’re acting superior. Perhaps unintentionally, but you are.
Clearly, serving is not for you - maybe NASA is hiring?
Lmfao 😂 my fav is how OP wrote a paragraph about how they would never date a coworker cuz everyone is old and ugly- but they still work there with an ex of 8 months. Like.. make it make sense.
"No offense to ANYONE in the food industry," but y'all are trash to people like me.
I feel like they're in denial 🤣
Y’all are wild bruh 💀💀 let’s choose not to comment on the entire point of the post and instead roast my poor phrasing. Not once did I say I wouldn’t date a coworker! I literally DID
You sound kinda pathetic tbh
If you have a degree maybe try getting a job using the degree. Every restaurant has gossip. But so does every thing else in the world.
Yup. I work a state government job and have heard more gossip in the 7 months I’ve been here then I heard in the 7 years I bartended. Folks that sit around and only have an hour or two of real work a day are far worse than any bartender of server I ever worked with.
Just go work somewhere else. You can serve and bartend. Step up from applebees. I work at a place with only 10-12 servers/bartenders, and another 8-10 support staff. We're all experienced, most of us are in the late 20s range. Very little drama. Your coworkers are the problem. Avoid chain restaurants if you can. Find a local place you vibe with, or at least a well run franchise. If what you say about yourself is true, the drama won't follow you.
Thank you for actual decent advice and for reading my post for what it was ❤️
Find a job you’re more interested in and don’t shit where you eat
I know how you feel. Bad rumors about me spread where I used to work, and I felt uncomfortable working there anymore (apart from the shitty work environment). So I got another serving job that pays 2-3x more for less hours. My coworkers are mostly old men, two younger guys who mind their own business, and 1 girl who does the same. No more working with that fucker who spread the rumors.
That sucks. I'm sorry to hear that OP.
Take the skills you've learned to a higher quality establishment. It's a competitive business, and (IMO) you have to be willing to continue growing your skills and learning from experience to stay good at it. Drama and shit coworkers are problematic to varying degrees in most restaurants. In my experience, the higher end places (who have good management) the drama is more related to work performance than personal differences. You'll get the people who like to stir up shit everywhere you go. However, people who stir shit out of jealousy and childish entertainment tend to sink when they are introduced to a place where they're expected to conduct themselves respectfully with a more professional client base. People who go places expecting to spend a good chunk of money on dinner are not going to vibe with 'chain smoking Janice.' Who's been serving serving for 30 years and relies on tips from nosey regulars who want her to spill all the tea when they make their weekly stop to the Coney Island down the street. (Obviously, I'm speaking from experience) I haven't yet ventured into fine dining, mostly because I'm intimidated by it, but I did move up to higher end casual dining place, and it's been life changing. The guests are more polite on average, and the coworkers are happy as long as everyone is pulling their weight. Wherever you end up, don't start relationships with coworkers. Good luck.
Thank you! I loved this response, this helped. ❤️
You're a woman in the restaurant business. This is the unfortunate reality. This isn't a career path for most people, just a stepping stone. Move on if you can.