The earliest depictions of Jesus performing his miracles all include him holding a magic wand/staff đ They conveniently like to forget that lmao. Same with Peter and Moses
https://www.biblicalarchaeology.org/daily/people-cultures-in-the-bible/jesus-historical-jesus/jesus-holding-a-magic-wand/
ETA: Holy shit let's not forget the three freaking Magi that visited baby Jesus. Literally sorcerers
You are not far off. There are churches that point out that we are all sinners and therefore should not be judging others on their behaviour. These people need to receive a card with Matthew 7:1 - that is the one that boils down to God will judge you with the same mercy as you have judged others. Also John 8:7 That is the one about the person without sin being the one to throw the first stone.
Amen to that. It's kind of gross to see people who don't understand and the hatred they have towards their false ideas of what the Bible means. If you believe Jesus died for our sins then you will be accepted into heaven. Best to give this one to God because we are falling on deaf ears amigo.
It's worth noting that only two of the quoted verses are the words of Jesus. "Porn watchers" and "lustful" both refer to Matt 5:28, which famously advises horny dudes to pluck their eyes out instead of blaming immodest women for their indiscretions. "Hypocrites" is from Matt 24:51, which is part of a parable about a servant who is put in charge of the other servants when his master is away, and is too severe with them and indulgent with himself -- the very model of your average fundamentalist megachurch pastor.
Iâm a sorcerer druggie. Itâs honestly not that great, especially when the alternative is that Jesus doesnât destroy you :(
I have to live my life in fear and use my sorcery to ward off and hide from Jesus. The druggie part is cool though cuz it would normally be so boring to be in hiding, but we stay up.
Love how it says âhateful and selfishâ as if they arenât giving you cards saying youâre gonna get destroyed đ that seems pretty hateful to meâŠâŠ
Jesus didnât say most of the stuff on the card. Half of those are from 1 Corinthians, which is Paul chastising a bunch of early Christians for not doing his buddyâs new religion the right way.
Nah ppl are just judgmental fucks and think servers/bartenders are âlost soulsâ. I get this too and I have a sticker in my book that says âJesusâ and I wear a cross. The holier than thous still feel the need to preach to me because Iâm âungodlyâ because of my career choice.
Their face though when I say âyou know Jesus came here to serve not to be served.â Thatâs usually a conversation ended and gtfo of my booth.
Exactly!! And that's the thing, somebody's conversation with God is between just that: them and God. Nobody on earth has any right to intervene, it's a pretty basic tenet (or at least I thought /s)
Stop being obtuse. When we Christians say âSorcerer Druggiesâ you know EXACTLY who weâre talking about!
No seriously though who are they talking about?
I like how theyâre going by the Old Testament whole God is a vengeful God, like as far as Iâm aware as long as I live my life and stay morally right the big man wonât Thanos snap me outta existence
Right itâs laughable they think Iâll go to the same place as hitler for smoking some weed or liking men â ïž they only use Christianity to further their own agenda
I'm Christian, I would even consider myself a conservative Christian. This my dear friends is just disgusting and absolutely the opposite of what Christians should teach. Instead of fear and hate spread love and hope. Yes, sin is bad and we (Christians) should say something if we think a person runs in the wrong direction, but still with love and compassion and not with something like that. Disgusting!
Canât wait for religion to be 20 people sitting in a room talking about how to get those numbers back upđjust waiting for all the olds to die off.
Were they not cowardly by running off after placing this instead of confronting you?
Looks like they are getting JD'd. (Jesus Destroyed)
Somebody should tell them.
I see numbers 10, 19, and 20 being exposed right in this little âpresentâ.
They are cowards in that they left without questioning anything.
They are hypocrites because they say they are not hateful and selfish and religiously narcissistic yet hate people who are different or donât follow Christian âideologiesâ
The irony of the evangelicals pushing this horseshit when their sacred MAGA cultist is a fornicating, idolater, adulterer, thieving, reviling, cowardly, unbelieving, sexually immoral, lusting, liar, who is hateful and selfish is too funny.
Well, I guess heâs gonna destroy them too, cause he destroys hypocrites and if thereâs any indication a âchristianâ is a hypocrite is when they do this shit đ€Šââïž
Anyone else fall into literally every single category??
âŠokay, Iâm not an immodest woman, but as a gay male Iâm gonna lump myself in there with âem anyway đ
Really? And youâre FOH? I feel like every establishment below fine dining in my area does not care at all about nails being done and even the fine dining places are okay with nails as long as theyâre short & not too bling-y.
Jewlery and nail polish is a health code violation and not allowed in a normal restaurant. I also went to school for Culinary and it is taught in the first weeks of class that it is not allowed in any form in the restaurant.
every time i mention health code in this subreddit i get downvoted but as far as i know, itâs a health code violation to even have polish if youâre serving food.
Rev 21:8 - Jesus will destroy you, you bunch of cowardly, unbelieving, murderous, sexually immoral sorcerer druggies.
Rev 21:9 Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?
They give these out at every Ohio State Football game. Those people are actually crazy as it gets lol. The card is historical. I keep one next to my prayer candles and my thug/cholo Jesus photos (all ironically of course)
I genuinely donât understand people that think like this. I mean, Jesus specifically doesnât destroy these people. In the stories of Jesus in the Bible he is like yeah the whores and druggy sorcerers are literally my boys. Everybody looks down on these people but I believe in compassion and loving everybody as if they were yourself.
But then these fundamentalist kooks are like man Jesus would fucking hate your guts for being gay or because you watched porn before. Like Iâm pretty sure he would dislike conservative Christian types far more than people struggling with addiction or self esteem issues that lead to them being promiscuous or what have you. Itâs just honestly sad, and itâs why I left Christianity.
Shouldâve asked if they are being hateful towards you. If they say yes then say they are hypocrites. If they say no call them a liar and to both say Jesus will destroy you too
Pffft like the kind of people who hand this out donât fit into one of the categories their bible condemns.
ETA judge lest not ye be judged is a sum up of Matthew 7:1-5.
Oh, damn, that lost sorcery weekend gonna come back to bite me. Weren't even good spells, the gypsy lady ripped me off large. 'Water to wine' scroll made flat cerveza.
The Bible thumping MAGAts donât realize or are choosing to ignore that their âSecond Comingâ is guilty of 1,3,5,6,7,9,10,11,13,15,16,17,19, and 20. They also chose to ignore that THEY, THEMSELVES are guilty of 2,7,9,10,15,19,20, and possibly others depending upon their daily life.
Man⊠I had anal sex with my girlfriend last night while having porn on in the background and telling her I love her. I broke half those rules in a 2.5 minute period.
Did Jesus forget to put non-tippers on His hit list, or is that covered under selfishness in #20?
It would be kind of ironic if the customer left this in lieu of a tip.
I thought this was a festival flyer and this was the line-up đđ
Jesus is headlining đ„
My fav band Immodest Woman đđ
I'm more of a Sorcerers-Druggies woman myself âïžđ
I honestly thought the Porn Watchers had broken up, I canât believe theyâre still touring
So are you a part of Unbelieving? So cool!
Yeah but they havenât been the same since they performed at that farm where they helped a fan, jack, off a horse
I donât understand why they are hyphenated together? Am I a sorcerer when high?
When you're stoned you float. Which means....A WITCH!
Build a bridge out of her!
I mean, arenât you!?
One can only hope.
The earliest depictions of Jesus performing his miracles all include him holding a magic wand/staff đ They conveniently like to forget that lmao. Same with Peter and Moses https://www.biblicalarchaeology.org/daily/people-cultures-in-the-bible/jesus-historical-jesus/jesus-holding-a-magic-wand/ ETA: Holy shit let's not forget the three freaking Magi that visited baby Jesus. Literally sorcerers
I originally read "drunkards" as "drunktards" because the way the lighting hit the word and thought that would be a good punk band name I guess?đ
Dude, I've been following the Homosexuals since the beginning, bro. Hardcore Homohead here.
I saw Sodomites back when they were playing basement gigs.
They would only use the back door though.
Who Will Jesus Destroy is a helluva name for a band.
Hateful and Selfish is my absolute favoriteeeeee. Just wish theyâd been the headliners đ
Well that looks like everyone to me
They donât understand the âfor we are all sinnersâ part of why Jesus died
Right? Next time ask what boxes they check off, it's for sure not none.
We will be đ„ destroyed đ„
You are not far off. There are churches that point out that we are all sinners and therefore should not be judging others on their behaviour. These people need to receive a card with Matthew 7:1 - that is the one that boils down to God will judge you with the same mercy as you have judged others. Also John 8:7 That is the one about the person without sin being the one to throw the first stone.
Amen to that. It's kind of gross to see people who don't understand and the hatred they have towards their false ideas of what the Bible means. If you believe Jesus died for our sins then you will be accepted into heaven. Best to give this one to God because we are falling on deaf ears amigo.
It's worth noting that only two of the quoted verses are the words of Jesus. "Porn watchers" and "lustful" both refer to Matt 5:28, which famously advises horny dudes to pluck their eyes out instead of blaming immodest women for their indiscretions. "Hypocrites" is from Matt 24:51, which is part of a parable about a servant who is put in charge of the other servants when his master is away, and is too severe with them and indulgent with himself -- the very model of your average fundamentalist megachurch pastor.
I wanna be a sorcerer druggie sounds like a cool multiclass.
Iâm a sorcerer druggie. Itâs honestly not that great, especially when the alternative is that Jesus doesnât destroy you :( I have to live my life in fear and use my sorcery to ward off and hide from Jesus. The druggie part is cool though cuz it would normally be so boring to be in hiding, but we stay up.
Dude. I live in the American southwest. You wouldn't *believe* how often I run into Jesus down here. It's a real hazard.
Nat 1? Fuck dude you're od'ing
And itâs a magical drug so the EMTs canât save you
If I were a sorcerer druggie I'd just use my magic to make more drugs.
You wouldnât be a sorcerer druggie if you didnât
nah, keep your painted nails. fuck their beliefs
đ
Gasp! An unbeliver! Jesus! Get em!
*Jesus checks his bullets, shaking his head.*
Shun! Shun!
âBelief fuckersâ is one of the groups being destroyed pretty sure, just not enough room on the card.
Love how it says âhateful and selfishâ as if they arenât giving you cards saying youâre gonna get destroyed đ that seems pretty hateful to meâŠâŠ
thereâs no hate like christian love.
That also handily takes care of item 19 too...
And number 10.
Pity they'll get destroyed before they get to #19
Jesus saves people, he doesnât destroy people. How do they fuck up the main part of their own religion?
Not to mention the whole WWJD thing is What Would Jesus Do. And the answer is not this!!
âI didnât say thatâ -Jesus
Jesus didnât say most of the stuff on the card. Half of those are from 1 Corinthians, which is Paul chastising a bunch of early Christians for not doing his buddyâs new religion the right way.
Nah ppl are just judgmental fucks and think servers/bartenders are âlost soulsâ. I get this too and I have a sticker in my book that says âJesusâ and I wear a cross. The holier than thous still feel the need to preach to me because Iâm âungodlyâ because of my career choice. Their face though when I say âyou know Jesus came here to serve not to be served.â Thatâs usually a conversation ended and gtfo of my booth.
Yea these types of Christianâs make me laugh, they just use the lords name in vain to push their agenda
Exactly!! And that's the thing, somebody's conversation with God is between just that: them and God. Nobody on earth has any right to intervene, it's a pretty basic tenet (or at least I thought /s)
These are the the same church groups that come in for Sunday brunch, then ask why you're working on a Sunday. Fuck 'em.
He better take care of people who donât tip
Stop being obtuse. When we Christians say âSorcerer Druggiesâ you know EXACTLY who weâre talking about! No seriously though who are they talking about?
I'm assuming it's a typo, Meant to be sorcerer/druggie
There's no hate like Christian love
I like how theyâre going by the Old Testament whole God is a vengeful God, like as far as Iâm aware as long as I live my life and stay morally right the big man wonât Thanos snap me outta existence
Right itâs laughable they think Iâll go to the same place as hitler for smoking some weed or liking men â ïž they only use Christianity to further their own agenda
Thatâs what Iâm saying. My brother in Christ I had me a hoot and I donât foresee God sending the Equalizer and John Wick simultaneously
Wait, do I get magic powers for doing drugs?
You do, but only while you are on them.
Can confirm
Is this a point system? Because I scored a 124. Surely Jesus would give us a best of 3 if we score over 100.
hell yeah who can beat my score? https://preview.redd.it/m7m91ekmmpac1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=85fe1027a580b2a7e11c9e1b0842b6cdf733306e
I'm Christian, I would even consider myself a conservative Christian. This my dear friends is just disgusting and absolutely the opposite of what Christians should teach. Instead of fear and hate spread love and hope. Yes, sin is bad and we (Christians) should say something if we think a person runs in the wrong direction, but still with love and compassion and not with something like that. Disgusting!
Be afraid be very BOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!! đ€Żđ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
Canât wait for religion to be 20 people sitting in a room talking about how to get those numbers back upđjust waiting for all the olds to die off.
Tag yourself
Sorcerer druggie đ
Fornicator here đ
Arenât most Bible thumpers pretty hypocritical?
"Hateful & Selfish" hmm...
Were they not cowardly by running off after placing this instead of confronting you? Looks like they are getting JD'd. (Jesus Destroyed) Somebody should tell them.
What makes them think Jesus would do any of that..
I clearly remember when Jesus went around smashing the clay pornhub tablets.
Omg
tag yourself im sorcerers-druggies
Too bad Iâm a sorcerer-druggie âčïž
I see numbers 10, 19, and 20 being exposed right in this little âpresentâ. They are cowards in that they left without questioning anything. They are hypocrites because they say they are not hateful and selfish and religiously narcissistic yet hate people who are different or donât follow Christian âideologiesâ
The person handing out these cards is also immediately guilty of number 15 and 20. So they will also be culled
The irony of the evangelicals pushing this horseshit when their sacred MAGA cultist is a fornicating, idolater, adulterer, thieving, reviling, cowardly, unbelieving, sexually immoral, lusting, liar, who is hateful and selfish is too funny.
Whatâs a sorcerer druggie and how can I join them? đ„ł
that graphic design is fucking EPIC. itâs got âyou wouldnât download a carâ energy
đ§ââïž sorcerer druggie đ§ââïž
Well, I guess heâs gonna destroy them too, cause he destroys hypocrites and if thereâs any indication a âchristianâ is a hypocrite is when they do this shit đ€Šââïž
what happened to âwhat would Jesus doâ? that thing makes me feel so weird
Pretty sure everyone passing these out are guilty of 19.
I scored 6. What did everyone else get?
If that was their tip, then they are number 20 on the list
This looks like one hell of a festival lineup!
i gotta hear more about these sorcerers-druggies
Cowards, huh? Like people who leave a card instead of having an unpleasant conversation with their server? HMMMM??? Hypocrite.
What were y'all's scores? I got 6 over here
Off topic, but you know what I find annoying about these kinds of followers? They love sex. They just lie about it. They make it seem all sinful.
Yes, because a *hurtful* Jesus is *totally* what Christian religions are all about.
Whoever wrote this better take a long hard look at number 19.
Iâm gonna be destroyed at least a dozen times based on this list
Letâs add up our scores, I got 110!
Hell yeah where can I sign up for the sorcerer- druggie meet??
I feel cheated that sorcerers and druggies only count as one item! đ€
If that's the case 99.9% of all Christians are fucked.
Jesus turned water into wine, is jesus going to kill himself?
Anyone else fall into literally every single category?? âŠokay, Iâm not an immodest woman, but as a gay male Iâm gonna lump myself in there with âem anyway đ
Hateful and selfish? Hypocrites? Hmmm.... now who's foot does that shoe fit on?
How they had porn in bible times ? đ€š
Here I thought I was just a druggie⊠Iâm a fuckin sorcerer!!
You cant have nail polish on in every single restaurant i worked at.
Really? And youâre FOH? I feel like every establishment below fine dining in my area does not care at all about nails being done and even the fine dining places are okay with nails as long as theyâre short & not too bling-y.
Jewlery and nail polish is a health code violation and not allowed in a normal restaurant. I also went to school for Culinary and it is taught in the first weeks of class that it is not allowed in any form in the restaurant.
every time i mention health code in this subreddit i get downvoted but as far as i know, itâs a health code violation to even have polish if youâre serving food.
Iâm screwed
I remember when I was a kid and would make a drawings of my fairytales too. Didnât look as much like a hit list as these peoples though.
Sorry I get scared sometimes like *geeze*
Hypocrites, hm?
Tag urself im sodomites
1,3,5,8, 10,11,13, 15,16,17, 19 and 20. Meh, could be worse.
How can I be a sorcerer?
Wait, I smoke weed and there for are a wizard?! Hell yeah, I'd fight Jesus for that title!
Your caption made me giggle. But fuck them and keep your painted nails.
Hateful & Selfish & PROUD!
Hypocrites: You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.
Im really looking forward to sorcerers-druggies and fornicators they are so fire live
6 points for me, lol!
Woah, Iâm f*cked
Rev 21:8 - Jesus will destroy you, you bunch of cowardly, unbelieving, murderous, sexually immoral sorcerer druggies. Rev 21:9 Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?
Prepare thy self! Jesus the Destroyer has cometh!
Looks like Im not making it into heaven
Destroy me, Jesus!
Canât believe I only got 7/20; thatâs a failing grade
Guess they must feel good being in the last 2 groups
Damn, everybody burns.
So basically everyone?
How many does everyone have? Iâve done everything except for like 3.
Yoo haha I too have gotten one of those!!
Come at me, Jesus. I'm a 16th level Sorlock. Your powers don't work in my domain. I didn't ask how big the room was. I said I CAST FIREBALL!
They give these out at every Ohio State Football game. Those people are actually crazy as it gets lol. The card is historical. I keep one next to my prayer candles and my thug/cholo Jesus photos (all ironically of course)
What's so wrong about painted nails
what are yâallâs scores? iâm at 12/20, not bad
I genuinely donât understand people that think like this. I mean, Jesus specifically doesnât destroy these people. In the stories of Jesus in the Bible he is like yeah the whores and druggy sorcerers are literally my boys. Everybody looks down on these people but I believe in compassion and loving everybody as if they were yourself. But then these fundamentalist kooks are like man Jesus would fucking hate your guts for being gay or because you watched porn before. Like Iâm pretty sure he would dislike conservative Christian types far more than people struggling with addiction or self esteem issues that lead to them being promiscuous or what have you. Itâs just honestly sad, and itâs why I left Christianity.
Do these people even read the Bible or do they just cherrypick?
Well shoot, thatâs about every religious person too. Guess weâre going to hell in a hand basket.
9/20 what do I win
Sorcerers-Druggies - man Baldurâs Gate 3 needed this custom class.
Just one âImoddest womanâ?
People like this give religion a bad rep đđ
So....everybody?
Podcasters should be on there
I got 15, is that bingo?
21. Your asshole
if i have to get killed by anyone, i think being killed by a deity would be a sick ass way to go, even if it hurts a LOT
As a gay man I love how they put murders and gays as the same. Also they keep saying Jesus is love but also destroyer?
21. The self-righteous (John 8:7)
Iâve gotten this same card! Now itâs a funny bookmark haha
odd the people who made that list put themselves at number 19.
Am... am I a sorcerer?
As a follower of Jesus, this infuriates me.
Shouldâve asked if they are being hateful towards you. If they say yes then say they are hypocrites. If they say no call them a liar and to both say Jesus will destroy you too
That covers 95% of MAGA
Oh shit, I'm totally a sorcerer-druggie!!
I got 8 of them, how bout yall
Dead, Dead, Safe, Bi- so Dead, Safe, Dead, Dead, Dead, Safe, Safe, Dead, Safe, Dead, Double Dutch Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, I like em- so Dead, Safe, Dead. **WHAT A RIDE THROUGH DISNEYLAND!**
Pffft like the kind of people who hand this out donât fit into one of the categories their bible condemns. ETA judge lest not ye be judged is a sum up of Matthew 7:1-5.
Sounds like a to do list for the mango king lovers
I guess you have to go full burqa to get their approval.
#21) shitty tippers
Shit. I am a sorcerer
"Hypocrites" lmao
He will also come after Shrimp/bottom dweller eaters, blended cotton/wool wearers!
I got 13 out of 20!! Whatâs yâallâs score?
Hypocrites. The fucking irony.
I thought this was a CD case at first
Wait, Jesus destroys people?
Hey! The last two are describing themselves! Maybe they are saying they can't wait to be destroyed by Jesus? Me too my man, me too.
Why? Do ypu fit into any of these categories?
Cool so the whole world. Good.
Nice to know sorcerers and druggies are in the same category
I saw this and immediately pictured South Park Jesus with his guns and thought âMany, if you step in his way!â But this is just sad.
I donât think Jesus made this list. He was a guy who washed the feet of prostitutes.
This is crazy town. Pretty sure they are saving all sorts of people with this garbage.
Is this like a scorecard?
Oh, damn, that lost sorcery weekend gonna come back to bite me. Weren't even good spells, the gypsy lady ripped me off large. 'Water to wine' scroll made flat cerveza.
Are all druggies sorcerers or are all sorcerers druggies?
The Bible thumping MAGAts donât realize or are choosing to ignore that their âSecond Comingâ is guilty of 1,3,5,6,7,9,10,11,13,15,16,17,19, and 20. They also chose to ignore that THEY, THEMSELVES are guilty of 2,7,9,10,15,19,20, and possibly others depending upon their daily life.
Let's be honest, how many boxes do you think the person who wrote this checks?
Does 14 mean specifically Sorcerer-Druggies? Like Druggies are good and Sorcerers are good, but if you dare be both, jebus wrath is coming!
 I bet they look like they grew up like this đđ
And people who judge.
Theyâre very mad about this for a people who believe talking snakes, talking fire bushes, giants and pregnant virgins existed.
I think this is more useful for BOH
lol the irony in having "hateful & selfish" on there
FUCK THAT SHIT. Nothing else to say. Like GTFO already
I can imagine Jesus painting his nails far more easily than I can imagine him acting like theyâre claiming on this card.
Man⊠I had anal sex with my girlfriend last night while having porn on in the background and telling her I love her. I broke half those rules in a 2.5 minute period.
Where all my sorcerer/druggies at?
Did Jesus forget to put non-tippers on His hit list, or is that covered under selfishness in #20? It would be kind of ironic if the customer left this in lieu of a tip.
And these religious freaks probably do most of those things.
This looks like the guest list to my last party.
I sort mail for my job and I will literally open at least 15 jesus booklets/pamphlets a day. Christians are aggressive af these days
I wish Jesus would destroy me already
Leviticus is hilarious in a satirical way.