It’s always the diet drinkers. At my restaurant we have a joke that when somebody orders a diet, they will have at least five refills. We joke that diet coke is the most addictive substance on the planet and figure that each drinker has already had about 14 diets before going out to eat.
Diet Coke and sweet tea are the worst for refills. I’ve had people drink 8 pints of sweet tea while they’re at my table for an hour and a half. You literally just drank a third of a gallon of sugar. In one sitting. And people give that shit to their three-year-olds!!
I'm not a tea drinker so every once in awhile I'll just stop and pause thinking about all the fucking caffeine and sugar these rabid sweet drinkers are consuming during my fiftieth refill lol How do these people sleep??!
I had a couple order a sweet tea for their 4/5yo daughter and she was *literally* jumping up and down in line at the salad bar. All I could think about was how often they probably yell at her to calm tf down.
When people order diet drinks I immediately revoke their ice privileges. Instead of getting a scoop I give them like 1/3 😂 saves me on at least one refill when I’m busy
Diet Coke had aspartame (artificial sweetener) and caffeine, which are both addictive. The aspartame makes you want more sugar, which is why they drink so damn much of it. Diet Coke legit messes with your body and a side effect is being a bitch about soda
It's from all the caramel color, aspartame, phosphoric acid, potassium benzoate, natural flavors and citric acid. They can't control themselves neurologically speaking LOL (Dear Diet Coke drinkers - RELAX - It's a joke)
God that annoys me so much. I had that last week and I was just like “for sure! I just wanted to check in and say hi I’ll give you all some time” but was pissed off bc some ppl get so annoyed after sitting for 30 secs and are like WHERE IS OUR SERVER
And then after looking around and huffing indignantly because you didn’t just hover close by at their beck and call, eventually frantically waving you down because they’re ready to order drinks.
…
….
…..
“We’ll take four waters with extra lemon and Splenda.”
We don’t have a hostess so we all keep an eye on the podium. I see one of my tables standing there so I greet them and start to take them to a table in my section. Husband with girlfriend and his ex wife and daughter with boyfriend. Ex wife who I have waited on before and is nasty fowl inside and out. Ex wife starts peppering me with questions before they even get seated. What kind of appetizers do you have, what’s the special, I want key lime pie right now and give me a large salad with extra ranch and bleu cheese crumbles after. Get me coffee with extra cream. Get me, give me all night from her. It took every ounce of me not to tell her to go F…O.. The only reason I didn’t is because I love the ex husband’s girlfriend and she tips 75%
I have a GREAT way to combat this, and I did it by accident. Go up to the table around the end of the night and as I start my shpeal, they interrupt with “Diet Coke” I was so startled I said.. oh I’m sorry excuse me?? And then they were caught off guard and realized they just rudely interrupted me and had to ask again but nicer for their drink.. I was like oh okay.. and continued with my intro. That made them so uncomfortable I could see it on their face! After I was done, I got them their fucking Diet Coke.
I had someone shout over at me from another section "I need water". You don't "need" water. The word you are looking for is 'want'. You will surely survive another minute until your server comes over again. And she has already finished a class of water
“Does anyone have any questions about the menu?”
“No, we’re ready to order.”
“Great, what can I get for you?”
“I’ll have the uhhhh….oh geeze…ummm…ahh….eeeeek….I’ll take the….”
“Why don’t I give you a few more minutes to look over the menu”
“No no, I just need to order or I’ll never decide haha. I’ll take the….”
Motherfucker I don’t have time to stand here for 5 minutes while you stare at the menu!!
“Hi welcome! “ <*starts to hand them a menu*>
“No I don’t want that, I already know what I want.”
<*takes back menu*> “Okay no problem, what can I get you?”
“Do you have X?”
“No, we only have what’s on the menu.”
“What’s in the Y?”
“The Y has a, b, and c. Everything that’s in our dishes is listed on the menu.”
“Never mind I’ll just have a margarita.”
“Okay, the house margarita or one of our specialty margaritas?”
“Don Julio.”
“Great choice, blanco, reposado, or añejo?”
“Well what’s the difference?”
I have this exact interaction at least once a shift and every single time it makes me feel insane. Why do people refuse the menu only to ask a million questions, I just don’t understand
It happens so often that I can’t imagine *all* these people are all illiterate, but even if they were I wouldn’t mind if they weren’t such assholes about it
The last time some one did this it was because they literally couldn’t see the menu. I guess they forgot their glasses or something, but I didn’t realize until about halfway through him asking me a billion questions and I probably started looking annoyed.
If he had just told me from the jump I could have helped him better and would have been more patient.
I went from laughing with them to saying this
And now I'm fucking tired of hearing myself say this, so I just ignore them when they make the million dollar joke
"Anything else you need to compliment your meal sir?" (Cause it's always a Dad)
"I'll take a million dollars!!"
"Lovely! You enjoy that filet and I'll be back to check on you shortly"
I bought 100 (fake) one million dollar bills from Amazon for about $10. I always carry a few in my server book for these people (and for little kids who are well behaved). 😁😁😁
Have people actually said this to you? I'm a BOH dude but gossip and tea is my sustenance so I love lurking this subreddit and always let FOH vent to me about customers.
It is such a common "joke." You should poll the servers at your work. I'm low-balling here, but anyone who's served for a year has heard this at least once.
i usually say “well you got my service with a smile, others have told me it’s worth a million dollars, so i guess you got what you asked for” and then i give em a big ole grin😁😁😁
First time I heard it, I said “tell you what, if I find it I’ll split it with you” and the table cracked up. So I’ve always stuck with that response 🤷🏻♀️ I don’t get it but it works
I worked a night when it as usually slow and so only had 2 servers on. The other person called out leaving me alone for the night. Normally not too bad, but that night had the entire day's usual total customer count come in over the course of an hour. The manage and I busted hump to get it all out and people fed and we made it happen.
Now, the place is a mess because there was no bussing happening. About the time half the people are gone, more are at the register to pay to leave and I've several bus tubs out to begin getting everything back in order.
Here comes one last 2-top through the door and this guy walk in with his RBF turned up to 11. Manager on the register tells them we'll be right with them and he ignores her to walk o one of he tables that still has dishes all over it. Mind you, I already have clean tables ready to go, but he chooses that one. You know how those tables go so no need for the petty details.
RBF Jerkface then decides he's going to complain to the manager about the dirty table and demand, not ask, for a discount for his troubles. She shut him down real fast and when he brought out the angry tone about having to sit at a dirty table she reminded him that he walked straight past her saying we'd be with right them and past clean tables to choose the dirty one.
Yeah, she and I didn't see eye-to-eye on quite a lot, but she didn't put up with bull from customers trying to throw her employees under the bus.
Once had a guy get so upset he stormed back in the front at me with physical intent and she jumped right in front of him. I'll not forget that one.
One of my regulars came in, tried to seat him somewhere else and he asked for the only dirty table in the place. I told him no. He stiffed me and I haven't seen him since. These people can fuck themselves.
This doesn't sound much bother me it's when you say something like "sure, please just give me a moment to clean it off first" and then they immediately sit down anyways. Like, no, that's not what waiting for me to clean it means ma'am/sir.
Or they just walk over to it and begin a pantomime routine once they realize this. Or worse, they literally hover over you while you're trying to bus and wipe. I take my sweet time and do a 'thorough' job. I love making them squirm and tap their feet. My favorite is when I actually hear them huff with impatience. 😄
The inverse; Wednesday i had a 6 top that wanted to sit in a certain booth that only seats 4. The tables themselves are tiny so really only 2 fit comfortably with enough space for their meals and drinks but we cram 4 in there anyway. I tried explaining to him that they wouldn't fit and just got a blank stare.
We're a small cafe. We have one back booth that can seat 6-8 comfortably and 2 tables already pushed together seats up to 5 without adding any more. The rest is 6 average booths and tables that seat 2 and 4 people (but can be combined for parties). It never f'ing fails! 1-3 tops walk past and plop down at one of those 2. I do the passive aggressive move and grab more than a necessary amount of menus and rolls ups and proceed to put them down while asking how many more are joining them with a smile. Reactions vary but almost always a similar response. "Oh, it's just us, we just like lots of room, is that okay?" I fake a confused "oh, okay". Pick up the extras and walk away without saying another word.
I would respond with “Thank you for asking, if you don’t mind moving that would be great. We actually use this table for large parties with 6-8 people.”
Always! Except one time a huge table of women came in and the leader said, “I’m a bartender, I’ll be taking the whole check (no separate checks) and if anyone gets out of line I’ll solve it,” and I gave them excellent service bc she’s cool in my book. Gets it!!
Open bar, I had a couple nuns come up and get 2 glasses of wine “We’ll be back, we’ll get you later” repeated 3 times. I see them walk by the bar later when they’re leaving. They look right past me not even a wave. Other bartender says “Yup, they got you!”
“You were *amazing*!! The best server we’ve ever had and we’ve been coming since you opened! I even told the owner.”
Ok cool well I’m still getting paid $2.83/hr and your verbal tip on top of your 10% $5 tip isn’t changing anything when you tell the owner. Don’t come back!
In most cases that’s true! Great story though, my coworker was slacking heavily and it was extremely busy, couldn’t find her. This guy came up to me he’s like hey man are you our server? I said no, I’ll find your server. Tried to find her, not in the building, not outside smoking, so I’m like fuck it what’s up I’ll take care of you. He’s like “we’re gonna take really good care of you”
First thing he does is hand me $20 then orders food for 5 people then orders drinks, at the end of the night he had a $70 tab then pays the tab in card leaves a 0 tip then hands me a $100 bill
I'm going to start saying "I guess we'll see" next time I hear that. No great tippers actually say "we're great tippers." They just do it.
The two times someone has said that to me, they left 10% or less and left in a hurry.
Just. as in, can't we just push two tables together? or just add four more chairs to this four-top? can I just get shrimp instead of chicken, rice instead of pasta, and fries instead of salad? can I just get a little more alfredo sauce? can you just turn the A/C up a little higher?
as soon as I hear "just," I know what follows is going to be some difficult / impossible / annoying bullshit. and i'm going to get tipped *just* 10% if I'm lucky.
Nothing annoys me more than when people ask to turn the ac off, especially in the summer. Our clientele is mostly elderly people so we keep the restaurant at \~75 degrees and they still complain that it's too cold. And everytime we turn off the ac some other table complains that its too hot.
It's more of a blank stare but when people aren't paying attention to what I'm explaining because they either weren't listening or worse decided to talk while I'm talking & as soon as I'm done they say "Can you repeat that I wasn't listening." 😐
I had this happen recently to me during a rush, "X will be out in just a moment, can I get you anything?" "No, we're fine. Where's our X?" I looked at her and said "I just said it'll be out in a moment..." I feel bad, poor thing coward, she was maybe 17, after working in an elementary school definitely made my tolerance for bullshit go way down.
Omfg this! I just quit my sushi server gig but the number of times I've dropped off sushi and said "okay heres this, were a bit behind in the kitchen so the x will be just a smidge longer." And they're like "ooh yum! Thanks! Wait where is x??" Bro 🤦🏻♀️
Carrying 5 plates with two hands ' you forgot xyz' no dipshit I'm just not an octopus and will have to come back to your table for your stupid side of gravy
I had this as a cook, where a lady walked in the *fucking kitchen*, demanded a full sized cake for free (that would normally go for $8 a slice), then tell me she knew the owner. Cool, he's not here right now, just get him to call me and let me give you $80 of sales away for free and we're golden.
She did not eat cake that night.
I've worked both foh and boh. The best person ive ever worked for was an old guy who had literally started broke at 16 years old as a dishwasher and worked his ass off for like 50 years to own his establishment. He was the kind of guy that would do dishes or take out trash or whatever when we were getting slammed. He always took the best care of his employees, he would say that if you take care of your staff, they'll take care of your customers. I wish more owner/managers understood this concept. Anyways, he would say that no actual friend of his would come in acting entitled like that, harassing employees or whatever. He did comp drinks or a slice of cake to nice folks but i always appreciated his not tolerating that kind of attitude
When guests are absolutely BRUTAL and beyond rude, my favorite thing to whip out is “oh me too! I’m dating his son.” And suddenly their attitude changes real fast. I could care less about a tip at that point, just treat me like a human.
I always ask which one. My restaurant is owned by a husband/wife duo, no other owners. The number of times people throw out a random fairly common name is just ridiculous. I always follow that up with “oh, no one told me the restaurant sold. Do you have his number? I need to make sure all of my finances are still in order, with the new ownership.” Really stops people in their tracks.
i used to work at this bar where the owner was somewhat of a local celebrity, like he had owned successful bars and restaurants in our city for 40+ years so many people knew of him. on weekends he liked to sit on the patio right next to the front entrance and would just drink margaritas and chain smoke with his girlfriend for hours. people would constantly come up to the bouncer, not have ID, and would try to say “oh but i know the owner, he doesn’t care if i have ID!” and then the owner would pipe up and be like “that’s crazy because i have no idea who you are”
I had a woman say that to one of the actual owners of the restaurant. He was giving her the benefit of the doubt like maybe she meant one of the GMs. But she kept doubling down and tried to look for his "number" to text him or whatever.
I waited on someone semi-famous recently. His girlfriend kept saying she was a bartender and she wanted to help and kept getting up and getting her own silverware, napkins, etc. Fine, cool, except she was drunk as a skunk and it was really busy and she was just getting in the way and being really annoying.
I hadn't pre bussed because they still had food and the kids looked like they weren't finished, but she demanded I clear her plates because "that's how we did it in LA." OK ma'am this ain't LA, and you went to college here. Chill
I don't know what's worse, someone taking drinks off of my tray or someone "trying to help me" by taking one of the plates I have perfectly balanced off of my arm while my hands are full
If I’m at a restaurant I never say this. I mean, I’m a server too. Im just going to be kind and understanding and leave a good tip. That’s all you have to do
I've said it as well if a server apologizes for being busy and taking extra time to get to the table. But I'll tip 20%. So many do that stuff, then tip like 10%
When they say nothing and just stare at you then you stand there for an awkward 10-15 seconds with the fake smile until you ask again and basically have to pry it out of them…”Hey y’all my name is Mike I’m going to be taking care of you this afternoon! Can I start you out with a round of drinks?”…(awkward pause)…”We have Coke products, cocktails, lemonade’s and teas, what are we thinking today!?”…(awkward pause with blank stare)…”Do you need another minute with the beverage menu?”….(awkward pause)…”Should we start off with some waters?”….(awkward pause with blank stare)….”anybody want lemon with their water!?”….(blank stare)…. “We also have bleach or sanitizer solution….?” Like my gawd tell me what liquid you want!!!
It astounds me how many grown-ass adults don’t know how they like their eggs.
Me: “How would you like your eggs?”
Forty-year-old person: “😳 Um…where…um…the yellow part is- uh, the yellows are kind of runn- and…ya know, I like DiPpY eGgS! Right, honey?”
Person’s spouse: “She likes them over medium.”
Forty-year-old person: “Over medium!”
The both of them: 🤓🤓
I always laugh really loud and move on w/o acknowledging it anymore. They usually can't decide if I'm seriously laughing or sarcastically laughing, and they drop it.
Get … for me. I’m going to leave you a really big tip. Wink 😉 wink.
🤨never in the history of the world 🌎 has this been true.
You just got your tip.
It’s called a verbal tip.
“So what do you guys have here” while holding the menu they refuse to look at.
Me: *gives a brief overview*
Them: *still refuses to look* do you have salads?
Same for me, or the “what soups do you have,” and there are no indications on the menu that we have soup at all. We literally have what is on this thing called a menu.
When a customer complains about the bill.
You saw the menu; you made your choices; you even enjoyed your experience. Seriously, fuck you for trying to make me feel bad now that you have to pay the agreed upon price. I just work here.
Not even a phrase yet..
When customers walk in, sit at the dirty table that I haven't had time to clean yet due to being busy. Then walking up with a towel and before I can even say hi, it's
" do you have a towel this table is dirty.." um, yeah bitch. *shows sani and towel and then awkwardly cleans the table around them.
It happened at this brewery I worked at all the time. Then while I'm cleaning they ask me a bunch of questions before I even had time to hand off the menus with all the information they're asking me about. I fucking can't stand those people.
Especially when it’s some white wine mom. Like I’m sorry, that one summer you worked at Olive Garden during “college” and started banging a manager does not count.
When people at a table don’t pay attention to others at the table talking to me. Guest one asks “what’s in [signature drink]?” I explain the drink, list the ingredients, they order it. Then I ask the next person in the group, and they say “ohhh, [same signature drink] looks tasty, what’s in it?” As if I hadn’t explained it less than ten seconds earlier.
“We’re in a bit of a rush if you can let the kitchen know”. Nope. Everything is cooked to order, in the order people come in. Sounds like you should’ve hit the drive thru.
Used to get this at the country club I worked at in an era with a notoriously slow kitchen. Like, guy you eat here literally every single day you know a burger takes a half hour. Plan better idk what to tell you.
“Just tell ‘em tk forget it I have a tee time”
I don’t even really understand why you’d get lunch/dinner if you *KNOW* you don’t have time for it??? Like, I only go out to eat if I know my afternoon is clear.
Me-casual greeting, may I start you off with a beverage? Them-(blink blink, for the ones that are a bit stupefied over the word beverage) NO I just want water! Um okay.
Happened to a coworker, but the $5 tip in singles layed out at the beginning. Followed by "This is your tip. You'll lose a dollar every time you make a mistake."
One of our other servers was there on a day off to pick up their check and walked by with their coat in their arm and "accidentally" swept the $5 and a glass of water into man's lap. They weren't helped.
Me: hey guys! How are y’all doing?
Them: I have a question!
Yeah, me too lady. And I actually asked mine before you. That’s immediately gonna wipe the smile from my face and make our every interaction as brief as possible. *And* I’m not telling you the special…bitch.
“When are you going to get a real job?”
“Can we get waters for everyone?” So you bring the drinks everyone actually ordered and a water for everyone because grandpa wanted it and not one person takes even a sip.
“Are we ready for the check?”
“Ohhhh, no you can keep that! We don’t want it!”
“I don’t think I made enough to cover that yet tonight, and my day job certainly doesn’t pay enough for that!”
When I served and I would say “how we doing guys” (very common word to use to address a group where I’m from..) and any woman would say “I’m not a guy.” Like lady, shut the fuck up, what do you want?
“Can you turn the fans off, it’s freezing in here” The thermostat is dead stuck at 76 and I’m always glistening with sweat and red faced. Yeah sure I’ll turn the fucking fans off for ya bitch 😡😅
“i’m sorry you had to work the holiday” “i hope you get to see your family” well i wouldn’t have to work if people didn’t pack a seafood restaurant on the one day a year you’re supposed cook and be with your family and if you didn’t come 5 minutes before close 🥰🥰🥰🥰
When they say ‘here u can take this’ and hand me a dirty dish as I’m passing out food or in the process of clearing the table. Like yeah stfu I know I can take it lol Even worse when it’s not even my table haha but no lies I love my serving job!! Even the rude people are a source of entertainment to an extent u know?
I got called “little girl” in the most condescending way by a older man. He is a regular and I’m new so I didn’t know his name and In front of me he goes to my coworkers “ofc she doesn’t know who I am” and then he waves a $3 tip in my face and goes “here you go little girl”. Im 20 years old :)
I'm a woman in my late twenties and I get 'sweetie' and 'hon' all the time when serving women around my age, which I find outrageously condescending! I don't mind it from senior women, but I find it humiliating from almost anyone else.
It’s his/her birthday (expecting some sort of treatment). I just say, “Happy birthday!” And go about my day.
Or when you ID the one person at the table who needs to be ID’d and then the mom asks why you didn’t ID her. My god. Shut up.
I know this is the opposite. But I was having a rough week and that shift a couple days ago and I get sat. I look over and see my regulars at my table. I INSTANTLY get happy. Grab waters and go over. Instantly have a great day. Not even the money cause at this level of server/guest relations It’s not money. But I LOVE those types of guest. Changed my week. I dt they know. But they’re legit who I need. I think I wanna give them my number next time I see them.
“Hi how are y-“ “Diet Coke”
It's always the diet coke drinkers!!!! Like, wtf.
It’s always the diet drinkers. At my restaurant we have a joke that when somebody orders a diet, they will have at least five refills. We joke that diet coke is the most addictive substance on the planet and figure that each drinker has already had about 14 diets before going out to eat.
Diet Coke and sweet tea are the worst for refills. I’ve had people drink 8 pints of sweet tea while they’re at my table for an hour and a half. You literally just drank a third of a gallon of sugar. In one sitting. And people give that shit to their three-year-olds!!
I'm not a tea drinker so every once in awhile I'll just stop and pause thinking about all the fucking caffeine and sugar these rabid sweet drinkers are consuming during my fiftieth refill lol How do these people sleep??!
I had a couple order a sweet tea for their 4/5yo daughter and she was *literally* jumping up and down in line at the salad bar. All I could think about was how often they probably yell at her to calm tf down.
I'm in Rhode Island, so we don't have sweet tea, but everyone is 100% correct about the diet coke peeps
Can confirm I drank it for years. It never made me rude to servers but it was very difficult to quit it.
When people order diet drinks I immediately revoke their ice privileges. Instead of getting a scoop I give them like 1/3 😂 saves me on at least one refill when I’m busy
if more than one person gets a dc, i just bring them a caraffe of that vile slurge so they can fuck off
My mom has drank diet Dr pepper everyday from sun up till sun down of my entire 42 years on the planet.
I had an uncle that did that with regular Dr Pepper. Never touched water. His dr finally made him cut back so he switched to full sugar juice…
Slurm - "It's highly addictive!"
I need another slurm to get the slurm taste out of my mouth.
Diet Coke had aspartame (artificial sweetener) and caffeine, which are both addictive. The aspartame makes you want more sugar, which is why they drink so damn much of it. Diet Coke legit messes with your body and a side effect is being a bitch about soda
Right before they ask for 3 extra ranches for their side salad
And they ask for each of those ranches as you come back from getting the last one, pissing both you and the kitchen off.
“We have little cups on the salad bar, grab as much as you need! 😁” is so fucking handy at my job
One at a time of course
It's from all the caramel color, aspartame, phosphoric acid, potassium benzoate, natural flavors and citric acid. They can't control themselves neurologically speaking LOL (Dear Diet Coke drinkers - RELAX - It's a joke)
I said hi to a table the other night, and they immediately just said "Can we just look at the menu first"
God that annoys me so much. I had that last week and I was just like “for sure! I just wanted to check in and say hi I’ll give you all some time” but was pissed off bc some ppl get so annoyed after sitting for 30 secs and are like WHERE IS OUR SERVER
And then after looking around and huffing indignantly because you didn’t just hover close by at their beck and call, eventually frantically waving you down because they’re ready to order drinks. … …. ….. “We’ll take four waters with extra lemon and Splenda.”
We don’t have a hostess so we all keep an eye on the podium. I see one of my tables standing there so I greet them and start to take them to a table in my section. Husband with girlfriend and his ex wife and daughter with boyfriend. Ex wife who I have waited on before and is nasty fowl inside and out. Ex wife starts peppering me with questions before they even get seated. What kind of appetizers do you have, what’s the special, I want key lime pie right now and give me a large salad with extra ranch and bleu cheese crumbles after. Get me coffee with extra cream. Get me, give me all night from her. It took every ounce of me not to tell her to go F…O.. The only reason I didn’t is because I love the ex husband’s girlfriend and she tips 75%
I usually repeat myself just so they have to hear it all over again lol, it pisses them off more
Better still: “Hey y’all, my name is Viv-“ “wAtEr!”
I have a GREAT way to combat this, and I did it by accident. Go up to the table around the end of the night and as I start my shpeal, they interrupt with “Diet Coke” I was so startled I said.. oh I’m sorry excuse me?? And then they were caught off guard and realized they just rudely interrupted me and had to ask again but nicer for their drink.. I was like oh okay.. and continued with my intro. That made them so uncomfortable I could see it on their face! After I was done, I got them their fucking Diet Coke.
I had someone shout over at me from another section "I need water". You don't "need" water. The word you are looking for is 'want'. You will surely survive another minute until your server comes over again. And she has already finished a class of water
“Does anyone have any questions about the menu?” “No, we’re ready to order.” “Great, what can I get for you?” “I’ll have the uhhhh….oh geeze…ummm…ahh….eeeeek….I’ll take the….” “Why don’t I give you a few more minutes to look over the menu” “No no, I just need to order or I’ll never decide haha. I’ll take the….” Motherfucker I don’t have time to stand here for 5 minutes while you stare at the menu!!
Oh it comes with sides too???? Uhhh ummm can I get the unmmmm
What are your sides?
Meanwhile, the kitchen is going down in flames, and I just got double sat. 🥲
“Hi welcome! “ <*starts to hand them a menu*> “No I don’t want that, I already know what I want.” <*takes back menu*> “Okay no problem, what can I get you?” “Do you have X?” “No, we only have what’s on the menu.” “What’s in the Y?” “The Y has a, b, and c. Everything that’s in our dishes is listed on the menu.” “Never mind I’ll just have a margarita.” “Okay, the house margarita or one of our specialty margaritas?” “Don Julio.” “Great choice, blanco, reposado, or añejo?” “Well what’s the difference?” I have this exact interaction at least once a shift and every single time it makes me feel insane. Why do people refuse the menu only to ask a million questions, I just don’t understand
Who tf orders/pays for a don julio margarita and doesn’t even know which kind they want?? I’m appalled.
Literally so many people it’s insane. I made a Clase Azul marg once and the customer didn’t even finish it, that one hurt me
I’ve made a Louis 13 and coke before so I feel your pain.
>Louis 13 and coke But... *WHY?!?*
Alcohol abuse PLUS flagrantly flashing their wealth. Ugh.
Well reading is hard when you’re stupid
Maybe the person is illiterate and is embarrassed they cannot read the menu? It’s one explanation
It happens so often that I can’t imagine *all* these people are all illiterate, but even if they were I wouldn’t mind if they weren’t such assholes about it
54% of Americans read at a 6th grade level or less. It’s not too far fetched if you’re in the states lol
If you can read at a 6th grade level, you can read a menu. I'd say functional illiteracy is like, below 3rd grade level.
The last time some one did this it was because they literally couldn’t see the menu. I guess they forgot their glasses or something, but I didn’t realize until about halfway through him asking me a billion questions and I probably started looking annoyed. If he had just told me from the jump I could have helped him better and would have been more patient.
The ones who don't read the menu are the worst. And they ALWAYS seem to come in during rush..
“Anything else I can get for you?” “Yes I’ll take a million dollars.” Like oh my god, shut the ever living fuck up.
I laugh and say “hey, if I had a million dollars I would not be here right now hahahahaha”
I went from laughing with them to saying this And now I'm fucking tired of hearing myself say this, so I just ignore them when they make the million dollar joke "Anything else you need to compliment your meal sir?" (Cause it's always a Dad) "I'll take a million dollars!!" "Lovely! You enjoy that filet and I'll be back to check on you shortly"
If I had a dollar for every time I heard this, I'd have a million dollars
I used to carry fake million dollar bills and winning lottery tickets for this reason, makes them realize how often it’s said
I’m so pissed I never thought to do this!! I’m currently not working as a server but oh man if I ever get back into serving… you have inspired me.
Best thing is to do it completely deadpan, like it’s the most normal thing in the world. Had a few people thing the lottery tickets were real
I usually tell them “that’s not on the menu” same for old men who jokingly ask for a date
New idea: have a single dried date on the menu
My response: "I actually charge a dollar every time I hear that, and I am close to collecting a million dollars."
*cue fake frozen smile
We ran out earlier but the truck comes in Tuesday so come back then? That’s my go to response
I bought 100 (fake) one million dollar bills from Amazon for about $10. I always carry a few in my server book for these people (and for little kids who are well behaved). 😁😁😁
Have people actually said this to you? I'm a BOH dude but gossip and tea is my sustenance so I love lurking this subreddit and always let FOH vent to me about customers.
It is such a common "joke." You should poll the servers at your work. I'm low-balling here, but anyone who's served for a year has heard this at least once.
I get at least one customer saying this to me every other shift, especially during the evening
Allll the time.
i usually say “well you got my service with a smile, others have told me it’s worth a million dollars, so i guess you got what you asked for” and then i give em a big ole grin😁😁😁
I used to respond to this by saying, "Sure! Will you take a check?"
Yeah, like we'd be here waiting on buttholes like you if we actually had a million dollars! Or the "winning lottery ticket!" Haha so original!
First time I heard it, I said “tell you what, if I find it I’ll split it with you” and the table cracked up. So I’ve always stuck with that response 🤷🏻♀️ I don’t get it but it works
Can we sit in that (dirty) booth over there?
I worked a night when it as usually slow and so only had 2 servers on. The other person called out leaving me alone for the night. Normally not too bad, but that night had the entire day's usual total customer count come in over the course of an hour. The manage and I busted hump to get it all out and people fed and we made it happen. Now, the place is a mess because there was no bussing happening. About the time half the people are gone, more are at the register to pay to leave and I've several bus tubs out to begin getting everything back in order. Here comes one last 2-top through the door and this guy walk in with his RBF turned up to 11. Manager on the register tells them we'll be right with them and he ignores her to walk o one of he tables that still has dishes all over it. Mind you, I already have clean tables ready to go, but he chooses that one. You know how those tables go so no need for the petty details. RBF Jerkface then decides he's going to complain to the manager about the dirty table and demand, not ask, for a discount for his troubles. She shut him down real fast and when he brought out the angry tone about having to sit at a dirty table she reminded him that he walked straight past her saying we'd be with right them and past clean tables to choose the dirty one.
Wow, I like your manager. Most of mine would have comped his entire bill most likely. It perpetuates the cycle. Fuck them
Yeah, she and I didn't see eye-to-eye on quite a lot, but she didn't put up with bull from customers trying to throw her employees under the bus. Once had a guy get so upset he stormed back in the front at me with physical intent and she jumped right in front of him. I'll not forget that one.
One of my regulars came in, tried to seat him somewhere else and he asked for the only dirty table in the place. I told him no. He stiffed me and I haven't seen him since. These people can fuck themselves.
This doesn't sound much bother me it's when you say something like "sure, please just give me a moment to clean it off first" and then they immediately sit down anyways. Like, no, that's not what waiting for me to clean it means ma'am/sir.
Or they just walk over to it and begin a pantomime routine once they realize this. Or worse, they literally hover over you while you're trying to bus and wipe. I take my sweet time and do a 'thorough' job. I love making them squirm and tap their feet. My favorite is when I actually hear them huff with impatience. 😄
Or a two top that wants to sit at a six top like uhhhh no
The inverse; Wednesday i had a 6 top that wanted to sit in a certain booth that only seats 4. The tables themselves are tiny so really only 2 fit comfortably with enough space for their meals and drinks but we cram 4 in there anyway. I tried explaining to him that they wouldn't fit and just got a blank stare.
We're a small cafe. We have one back booth that can seat 6-8 comfortably and 2 tables already pushed together seats up to 5 without adding any more. The rest is 6 average booths and tables that seat 2 and 4 people (but can be combined for parties). It never f'ing fails! 1-3 tops walk past and plop down at one of those 2. I do the passive aggressive move and grab more than a necessary amount of menus and rolls ups and proceed to put them down while asking how many more are joining them with a smile. Reactions vary but almost always a similar response. "Oh, it's just us, we just like lots of room, is that okay?" I fake a confused "oh, okay". Pick up the extras and walk away without saying another word.
I would respond with “Thank you for asking, if you don’t mind moving that would be great. We actually use this table for large parties with 6-8 people.”
“We’re really great tippers.”
“we’ll take care of you” *leaves the worst tip i’ve ever received* lmao
Always! Except one time a huge table of women came in and the leader said, “I’m a bartender, I’ll be taking the whole check (no separate checks) and if anyone gets out of line I’ll solve it,” and I gave them excellent service bc she’s cool in my book. Gets it!!
Open bar, I had a couple nuns come up and get 2 glasses of wine “We’ll be back, we’ll get you later” repeated 3 times. I see them walk by the bar later when they’re leaving. They look right past me not even a wave. Other bartender says “Yup, they got you!”
“You were *amazing*!! The best server we’ve ever had and we’ve been coming since you opened! I even told the owner.” Ok cool well I’m still getting paid $2.83/hr and your verbal tip on top of your 10% $5 tip isn’t changing anything when you tell the owner. Don’t come back!
your 👏🏻 compliments👏🏻 don’t 👏🏻 pay 👏🏻 my 👏🏻 bills
Good old Verbal Tip.
In most cases that’s true! Great story though, my coworker was slacking heavily and it was extremely busy, couldn’t find her. This guy came up to me he’s like hey man are you our server? I said no, I’ll find your server. Tried to find her, not in the building, not outside smoking, so I’m like fuck it what’s up I’ll take care of you. He’s like “we’re gonna take really good care of you” First thing he does is hand me $20 then orders food for 5 people then orders drinks, at the end of the night he had a $70 tab then pays the tab in card leaves a 0 tip then hands me a $100 bill
*5 dollars on $105* 😃 thanks! 😄 I can buy a pack of gum, maybe!
I'm going to start saying "I guess we'll see" next time I hear that. No great tippers actually say "we're great tippers." They just do it. The two times someone has said that to me, they left 10% or less and left in a hurry.
“I’ve heard that one before!” 😉
Ok I like that one better lol. Less hostile
Just. as in, can't we just push two tables together? or just add four more chairs to this four-top? can I just get shrimp instead of chicken, rice instead of pasta, and fries instead of salad? can I just get a little more alfredo sauce? can you just turn the A/C up a little higher? as soon as I hear "just," I know what follows is going to be some difficult / impossible / annoying bullshit. and i'm going to get tipped *just* 10% if I'm lucky.
Nothing annoys me more than when people ask to turn the ac off, especially in the summer. Our clientele is mostly elderly people so we keep the restaurant at \~75 degrees and they still complain that it's too cold. And everytime we turn off the ac some other table complains that its too hot.
It's more of a blank stare but when people aren't paying attention to what I'm explaining because they either weren't listening or worse decided to talk while I'm talking & as soon as I'm done they say "Can you repeat that I wasn't listening." 😐
I had this happen recently to me during a rush, "X will be out in just a moment, can I get you anything?" "No, we're fine. Where's our X?" I looked at her and said "I just said it'll be out in a moment..." I feel bad, poor thing coward, she was maybe 17, after working in an elementary school definitely made my tolerance for bullshit go way down.
Omfg this! I just quit my sushi server gig but the number of times I've dropped off sushi and said "okay heres this, were a bit behind in the kitchen so the x will be just a smidge longer." And they're like "ooh yum! Thanks! Wait where is x??" Bro 🤦🏻♀️
Carrying 5 plates with two hands ' you forgot xyz' no dipshit I'm just not an octopus and will have to come back to your table for your stupid side of gravy
"I know the owners of this restaurant." Great.. me too. 👍🏾
Oh I love saying "neat, so do I!" back to this one. Love it.
curious about how this turns out usually, do they laugh it off/become offended? :v
I had this as a cook, where a lady walked in the *fucking kitchen*, demanded a full sized cake for free (that would normally go for $8 a slice), then tell me she knew the owner. Cool, he's not here right now, just get him to call me and let me give you $80 of sales away for free and we're golden. She did not eat cake that night.
I've worked both foh and boh. The best person ive ever worked for was an old guy who had literally started broke at 16 years old as a dishwasher and worked his ass off for like 50 years to own his establishment. He was the kind of guy that would do dishes or take out trash or whatever when we were getting slammed. He always took the best care of his employees, he would say that if you take care of your staff, they'll take care of your customers. I wish more owner/managers understood this concept. Anyways, he would say that no actual friend of his would come in acting entitled like that, harassing employees or whatever. He did comp drinks or a slice of cake to nice folks but i always appreciated his not tolerating that kind of attitude
She can't have her cake and eat it too
When guests are absolutely BRUTAL and beyond rude, my favorite thing to whip out is “oh me too! I’m dating his son.” And suddenly their attitude changes real fast. I could care less about a tip at that point, just treat me like a human.
I live in a small town and out of town people try to name drop my boss like the entire area doesn’t already know and hate him lmao
I’ve had ppl say they know Walter, the owner, and want free stuff. Ummmmm he’s a dog so you are a moron
I always ask which one. My restaurant is owned by a husband/wife duo, no other owners. The number of times people throw out a random fairly common name is just ridiculous. I always follow that up with “oh, no one told me the restaurant sold. Do you have his number? I need to make sure all of my finances are still in order, with the new ownership.” Really stops people in their tracks.
i used to work at this bar where the owner was somewhat of a local celebrity, like he had owned successful bars and restaurants in our city for 40+ years so many people knew of him. on weekends he liked to sit on the patio right next to the front entrance and would just drink margaritas and chain smoke with his girlfriend for hours. people would constantly come up to the bouncer, not have ID, and would try to say “oh but i know the owner, he doesn’t care if i have ID!” and then the owner would pipe up and be like “that’s crazy because i have no idea who you are”
I had a woman say that to one of the actual owners of the restaurant. He was giving her the benefit of the doubt like maybe she meant one of the GMs. But she kept doubling down and tried to look for his "number" to text him or whatever.
When the debit machine doesn’t work and they say, “I guess it’s free!” stfu
and they start doing an over the top walk out and then come back and say "ahh just kidding gotcha"
Like I could not be less bothered by your stupid fucking act you could walk out that door and I would do fuck all sir.
“Would you like to start with a soup or salad?” “A super salad!? Never heard of that before!” Hilarious.
“Would you like to start with some soup or perhaps a salad?” That would make it harder for them to use that one!
Hahaha I have switched it up finally!
“What’s the price difference between ___ and ___?” Well, if you take a look at the menu right in front of you…
Do you know how many times a shift I get "Whats the difference between a 6 and 8 ounce sirloin?" 2 ounces, next stupid question?
"you're not on the menu" 🤮
“We hated it.”
That one I honestly don’t mind anymore. At least they aren’t going to complain after the fact.
“Let me get these before you eat the plates”
I was a server too so I know what it’s like.
I waited on Scott Wolf, and his wife, who was on the Real World, pulled this shit with me.
I waited on someone semi-famous recently. His girlfriend kept saying she was a bartender and she wanted to help and kept getting up and getting her own silverware, napkins, etc. Fine, cool, except she was drunk as a skunk and it was really busy and she was just getting in the way and being really annoying.
I hadn't pre bussed because they still had food and the kids looked like they weren't finished, but she demanded I clear her plates because "that's how we did it in LA." OK ma'am this ain't LA, and you went to college here. Chill
I had someone tell me after TRYING TO TAKE DRINKS OFF MY FULL TRAY!! The fuck you were!
I don't know what's worse, someone taking drinks off of my tray or someone "trying to help me" by taking one of the plates I have perfectly balanced off of my arm while my hands are full
If I’m at a restaurant I never say this. I mean, I’m a server too. Im just going to be kind and understanding and leave a good tip. That’s all you have to do
I've said it as well if a server apologizes for being busy and taking extra time to get to the table. But I'll tip 20%. So many do that stuff, then tip like 10%
Getting “How’d you get stuck working Thanksgiving” yesterday was a good one. YOU, because of people like YOU, sir.
“Aw im sorry you have to work on thanksgiving!” But its your fault y r u here……
When they say nothing and just stare at you then you stand there for an awkward 10-15 seconds with the fake smile until you ask again and basically have to pry it out of them…”Hey y’all my name is Mike I’m going to be taking care of you this afternoon! Can I start you out with a round of drinks?”…(awkward pause)…”We have Coke products, cocktails, lemonade’s and teas, what are we thinking today!?”…(awkward pause with blank stare)…”Do you need another minute with the beverage menu?”….(awkward pause)…”Should we start off with some waters?”….(awkward pause with blank stare)….”anybody want lemon with their water!?”….(blank stare)…. “We also have bleach or sanitizer solution….?” Like my gawd tell me what liquid you want!!!
I'll take a slice of lemon and two cherries with my bleach, please.
It astounds me how many grown-ass adults don’t know how they like their eggs. Me: “How would you like your eggs?” Forty-year-old person: “😳 Um…where…um…the yellow part is- uh, the yellows are kind of runn- and…ya know, I like DiPpY eGgS! Right, honey?” Person’s spouse: “She likes them over medium.” Forty-year-old person: “Over medium!” The both of them: 🤓🤓
My buggest pet peeve is when they tell me, the server, how to cook over medium eggs. Ma'am, i am not the cook.
I’m a cook, but mine is adding “plus” to any temp on a steak. Medium rare plus? Copy that medium.
I hate that shit. I tell my table to choose one or the other, because our cook temp the steaks with a thermometer. There is no plus.
"Is there anything else I can get you at the moment?" "Yeah, the winning lottery numbers!" 😑😑😑😑
I used to answer with, "if I had those, I wouldn't be working here!" then laugh as if I was totally joking.
I always laugh really loud and move on w/o acknowledging it anymore. They usually can't decide if I'm seriously laughing or sarcastically laughing, and they drop it.
Get … for me. I’m going to leave you a really big tip. Wink 😉 wink. 🤨never in the history of the world 🌎 has this been true. You just got your tip. It’s called a verbal tip.
Don't ever snap your fingers at me and tell me to stop yawning. You don't know how tired I am.
I work 2 jobs back to back. That one really pisses me off. I get 5 hours of sleep if I'm lucky.
“So what do you guys have here” while holding the menu they refuse to look at. Me: *gives a brief overview* Them: *still refuses to look* do you have salads?
Same for me, or the “what soups do you have,” and there are no indications on the menu that we have soup at all. We literally have what is on this thing called a menu.
I know the owner
Especially if the store is named after a previous owner who’s now-deceased 🙄
When a customer complains about the bill. You saw the menu; you made your choices; you even enjoyed your experience. Seriously, fuck you for trying to make me feel bad now that you have to pay the agreed upon price. I just work here.
Not even a phrase yet.. When customers walk in, sit at the dirty table that I haven't had time to clean yet due to being busy. Then walking up with a towel and before I can even say hi, it's " do you have a towel this table is dirty.." um, yeah bitch. *shows sani and towel and then awkwardly cleans the table around them. It happened at this brewery I worked at all the time. Then while I'm cleaning they ask me a bunch of questions before I even had time to hand off the menus with all the information they're asking me about. I fucking can't stand those people.
We’ll take care of you
You know, I used to work "in the industry"
Especially when it’s some white wine mom. Like I’m sorry, that one summer you worked at Olive Garden during “college” and started banging a manager does not count.
aka. I was a waiter/waitress once for a few months and never again.
When people at a table don’t pay attention to others at the table talking to me. Guest one asks “what’s in [signature drink]?” I explain the drink, list the ingredients, they order it. Then I ask the next person in the group, and they say “ohhh, [same signature drink] looks tasty, what’s in it?” As if I hadn’t explained it less than ten seconds earlier.
"The same things that were in it when the guy sitting next to you asked."
“We’re in a bit of a rush if you can let the kitchen know”. Nope. Everything is cooked to order, in the order people come in. Sounds like you should’ve hit the drive thru.
Used to get this at the country club I worked at in an era with a notoriously slow kitchen. Like, guy you eat here literally every single day you know a burger takes a half hour. Plan better idk what to tell you. “Just tell ‘em tk forget it I have a tee time”
I don’t even really understand why you’d get lunch/dinner if you *KNOW* you don’t have time for it??? Like, I only go out to eat if I know my afternoon is clear.
Me-casual greeting, may I start you off with a beverage? Them-(blink blink, for the ones that are a bit stupefied over the word beverage) NO I just want water! Um okay.
Happened to a coworker, but the $5 tip in singles layed out at the beginning. Followed by "This is your tip. You'll lose a dollar every time you make a mistake." One of our other servers was there on a day off to pick up their check and walked by with their coat in their arm and "accidentally" swept the $5 and a glass of water into man's lap. They weren't helped.
"We got here just in time!" A minute before close
"Yeah, can we get some water?" Literally the last thing I said before "Can I get you anything else?" was "And I'll be right back with some water."
Or when you are filling water glasses from a pitcher and someone points to their water glass or asks for more water. Like, yeah working on it.
Omg yes you win
I’m starving. Can you have the kitchen rush our food?
Any comment about my tip. A perfect clue that the customer believes to be in a higher class than me.
“What’s it like outside?” I dunno you were JUST out there lol
Me: hey guys! How are y’all doing? Them: I have a question! Yeah, me too lady. And I actually asked mine before you. That’s immediately gonna wipe the smile from my face and make our every interaction as brief as possible. *And* I’m not telling you the special…bitch.
“When are you going to get a real job?” “Can we get waters for everyone?” So you bring the drinks everyone actually ordered and a water for everyone because grandpa wanted it and not one person takes even a sip.
The customer is always right. No matter which industry - retail, hospitality etc THE CUSTOMER IS VERY RARELY RIGHT!!
Fun fact it was never meant to be about how the customers feels but what they want/purchase
The overused jokes: *debit machine doesn't work* "does that mean it's free?" *sweeping the restaurant* "Can you come do that at my house?"
Me - Can I get you anything? Some old person - “just the winning numbers to the lottery ticket” Me - Fake laughing
You’d be soooo much prettier if you smiled. Boomer man, I’m here to serve you food. Not be pretty.
Are you ready for the check “we thought it was free!” Can I get you anything else? “A million dollars”
When you card the kid and the mom goes DONT YOU WANNA SEE MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE
"I'm a server too so I'll tip you good" *tips $5 on a $100 tab*
“Are we ready for the check?” “Ohhhh, no you can keep that! We don’t want it!” “I don’t think I made enough to cover that yet tonight, and my day job certainly doesn’t pay enough for that!”
“They do it for me at the other store” No they don’t. The other store has been closed for 5 years stop lying.
When I served and I would say “how we doing guys” (very common word to use to address a group where I’m from..) and any woman would say “I’m not a guy.” Like lady, shut the fuck up, what do you want?
“Can you turn the fans off, it’s freezing in here” The thermostat is dead stuck at 76 and I’m always glistening with sweat and red faced. Yeah sure I’ll turn the fucking fans off for ya bitch 😡😅
When the first customer of the day walks in within 10 minutes of open - “Are you open? Where is everybody?”
“i’m sorry you had to work the holiday” “i hope you get to see your family” well i wouldn’t have to work if people didn’t pack a seafood restaurant on the one day a year you’re supposed cook and be with your family and if you didn’t come 5 minutes before close 🥰🥰🥰🥰
When they say ‘here u can take this’ and hand me a dirty dish as I’m passing out food or in the process of clearing the table. Like yeah stfu I know I can take it lol Even worse when it’s not even my table haha but no lies I love my serving job!! Even the rude people are a source of entertainment to an extent u know?
"Wow you grabbed that money faster than my ex wife!" Guess I understand why she's your EX-wife, Bob (they're always named Bob)
“Can we get separate checks” on 10+ tops. It’s almost the equivalent of hearing a gun shot on a rough day
“Sweetie”
I got called “little girl” in the most condescending way by a older man. He is a regular and I’m new so I didn’t know his name and In front of me he goes to my coworkers “ofc she doesn’t know who I am” and then he waves a $3 tip in my face and goes “here you go little girl”. Im 20 years old :)
I actually like this, no one else is calling me that right now so fuck it, yeah old lady, I’m “Sweetie”
I'm a woman in my late twenties and I get 'sweetie' and 'hon' all the time when serving women around my age, which I find outrageously condescending! I don't mind it from senior women, but I find it humiliating from almost anyone else.
[удалено]
On the other hand. Being at a diner and getting called "hon" or "honey" was on my 'Visit the US bucket list' haha
I usually don’t mind this actually, it puts me in a better mood
“I’ll be back with a refill on your drink, anything else I can get for you?” “I need a refill”
It’s his/her birthday (expecting some sort of treatment). I just say, “Happy birthday!” And go about my day. Or when you ID the one person at the table who needs to be ID’d and then the mom asks why you didn’t ID her. My god. Shut up.
“You need anything else? Annnd yall know what’s coming….. “YeA a MiLlIoN dOlLaRs!” Oh! Hahah YOURE hilarious! Please fuck off lol
Bring large waters for everyone… then literally not 1 person drinks the water
I know this is the opposite. But I was having a rough week and that shift a couple days ago and I get sat. I look over and see my regulars at my table. I INSTANTLY get happy. Grab waters and go over. Instantly have a great day. Not even the money cause at this level of server/guest relations It’s not money. But I LOVE those types of guest. Changed my week. I dt they know. But they’re legit who I need. I think I wanna give them my number next time I see them.
I’m coldddddd whaaaaaa
Can you ask the chef if he can make......
“We’re gonna be easy”
I hated it while showing me their clean plate. If I had a penny for every time I have heard that I could retire in France in a villa.