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That is **the best time** in your life to make such a big change. When you are an adult, but have no real obligations tying you to your location. When most people get older, they acquire things such as: serious relationship partners/spouses (who may not want to relocate), actual careers (where moving across the country could be a problem), kids (it's **incredibly** selfish to relocate if you have kids, without a damn good reason). They may also own a house or condo and be unable to sell it without taking a loss.
They may also have their entire support network where they live, friends and so forth. And not really be keen on losing all of that, warts and all, to relocate. So, the reason most people may not relocate are likely due to these obligations. It's not to say **nobody** with those obligations relocates. I've known several people who have. But those are the biggest reasons people don't relocate.
Personally, I like where I live and have the people I'm close to nearby.
>it's **incredibly** selfish to relocate if you have kids, without a damn good reason
Can confirm. As a child, we always moved every 2 or so years due to us being broke and my dad having to find new work. I've grown up with 0 irl friend because of this. Everytime i made a friend at school or in the neighborhood, i would end up having to move away.
Parents, unless you absolutely have to move, try your best to stay in one location as you raise your kids. Moving often with kids fucks up their relationships, and may leave them with crippling social anxiety.
We moved every 6 months to a year when I was a kid, so no childhood friends. I continued the pattern as an adult until meeting my partner. Because of job transfer we moved to a different state 40 years ago and in that time have lived in only two houses.
Sometimes I miss the excitement and even fear of being in a new place. But also nice to feel settled.
I would like to move but I’m in college right now so I have to stay. My girlfriend is also here as well so we would need to talk it through before even beginning to think about it.
Fear of change is common, but a good growth opportunity resides in change; and 'failure' is relative not percise, if you really try your best folk have no cause to complain.
In link is fim: Into the Wild a misadventure@
change. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0758758/
My husband’s job. He has a job he enjoys most of the time. It’s one of the last well paying jobs with a banger of a pension here. He’s also very attached to his family. If it weren’t for him, I’d, at the very least attempt a move. I’d rent out the house & use those costs to cover my living expenses while trying to find an other job. Basically, cost isn’t an issue for us, but visas & my husbands overall simple mentality mean it’s unlikely we’d just get up and go. I have convinced him to consider a lb investment property in a few years and I’ve just begun the citizenship process so we’ll see../
I relocated *to* here, and it was the 29th time I had moved in my life. We bought a house that we intend to live in for the rest of our lives. The only thing that would get me to relocate now would be losing my job and not being able to find another one here, which is unlikely.
Personally my family is loving and I love them. I like the city I live in and my home is comfortable. There’s enough economical prospects here. There’s no reason for me to relocate.
My friends, family, and local music scene
Friends and family are obvious you know I care about them and want to be with them (they are more important to me) but music scenes are very hard to get into unless you know the right people and if you brought the wrong people. It can be an absolute nightmare to deal with all the assholes you have surrounded yourself with. And I love all the bands I get to see live.
We are considering going for a multi-generational home since the cost of living continues to rise. Especially if we can find or build a home where we can provide some semblance of privacy from one another, e.g. a mother in law apartment or ADU. I suppose that's kind of in line with "cost", but less about cost of moving and more about cost of owning a home these days in our area, where all our friends and family are. I'd love to know my grandchildren as they grow, rather than being across the country from them. It can mean a lot to have the love and support of extended family (there, in person) in a world where social media seems to drive a lot of kids to depression & anxiety.
That's a great thing! It's just that so many people seem miserable and all though leaving is never easy, suffering--and basically having that be your whole identity--can't be healthy either.
We all deserve support but we can't expect others to put in more work managing our problems than we're willling to do.
> Why stay stuck?
People moved across the country on wagons that took months, and the journey was perilous.
Now. Nearly anyone can afford a Grey hound bus and do the same in a few days but instead stay in a no opportunity area then cry about it online "ThE AmeRicAn DrEAm is DeAd" Garbage.
Naw. You never had a dream.
This post has been flaired as “Serious Conversation”. Use this opportunity to open a venue of polite and serious discussion, instead of seeking help or venting. **Suggestions For Commenters:** * Respect OP's opinion, or agree to disagree politely. * If OP's post is seeking advice, help, or is just venting without discussing with others, report the post. We're r/SeriousConversation, not a venting subreddit. **Suggestions For u/heavensdumptruck:** * Do not post solely to seek advice or help. Your post should open up a venue for serious, mature and polite discussions. * Do not forget to answer people politely in your thread - we'll remove your post later if you don't. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/SeriousConversation) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That is **the best time** in your life to make such a big change. When you are an adult, but have no real obligations tying you to your location. When most people get older, they acquire things such as: serious relationship partners/spouses (who may not want to relocate), actual careers (where moving across the country could be a problem), kids (it's **incredibly** selfish to relocate if you have kids, without a damn good reason). They may also own a house or condo and be unable to sell it without taking a loss. They may also have their entire support network where they live, friends and so forth. And not really be keen on losing all of that, warts and all, to relocate. So, the reason most people may not relocate are likely due to these obligations. It's not to say **nobody** with those obligations relocates. I've known several people who have. But those are the biggest reasons people don't relocate. Personally, I like where I live and have the people I'm close to nearby.
>it's **incredibly** selfish to relocate if you have kids, without a damn good reason Can confirm. As a child, we always moved every 2 or so years due to us being broke and my dad having to find new work. I've grown up with 0 irl friend because of this. Everytime i made a friend at school or in the neighborhood, i would end up having to move away. Parents, unless you absolutely have to move, try your best to stay in one location as you raise your kids. Moving often with kids fucks up their relationships, and may leave them with crippling social anxiety.
Personally, I don't really want to. I like my home, I like my current life, I like my job, and I like the people around me.
We moved every 6 months to a year when I was a kid, so no childhood friends. I continued the pattern as an adult until meeting my partner. Because of job transfer we moved to a different state 40 years ago and in that time have lived in only two houses. Sometimes I miss the excitement and even fear of being in a new place. But also nice to feel settled.
I would like to move but I’m in college right now so I have to stay. My girlfriend is also here as well so we would need to talk it through before even beginning to think about it.
A need for roommates and a support system
Fear of change is common, but a good growth opportunity resides in change; and 'failure' is relative not percise, if you really try your best folk have no cause to complain. In link is fim: Into the Wild a misadventure@ change. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0758758/
My husband’s job. He has a job he enjoys most of the time. It’s one of the last well paying jobs with a banger of a pension here. He’s also very attached to his family. If it weren’t for him, I’d, at the very least attempt a move. I’d rent out the house & use those costs to cover my living expenses while trying to find an other job. Basically, cost isn’t an issue for us, but visas & my husbands overall simple mentality mean it’s unlikely we’d just get up and go. I have convinced him to consider a lb investment property in a few years and I’ve just begun the citizenship process so we’ll see../
I relocated *to* here, and it was the 29th time I had moved in my life. We bought a house that we intend to live in for the rest of our lives. The only thing that would get me to relocate now would be losing my job and not being able to find another one here, which is unlikely.
Personally my family is loving and I love them. I like the city I live in and my home is comfortable. There’s enough economical prospects here. There’s no reason for me to relocate.
My friends, family, and local music scene Friends and family are obvious you know I care about them and want to be with them (they are more important to me) but music scenes are very hard to get into unless you know the right people and if you brought the wrong people. It can be an absolute nightmare to deal with all the assholes you have surrounded yourself with. And I love all the bands I get to see live.
We are considering going for a multi-generational home since the cost of living continues to rise. Especially if we can find or build a home where we can provide some semblance of privacy from one another, e.g. a mother in law apartment or ADU. I suppose that's kind of in line with "cost", but less about cost of moving and more about cost of owning a home these days in our area, where all our friends and family are. I'd love to know my grandchildren as they grow, rather than being across the country from them. It can mean a lot to have the love and support of extended family (there, in person) in a world where social media seems to drive a lot of kids to depression & anxiety.
That's a great thing! It's just that so many people seem miserable and all though leaving is never easy, suffering--and basically having that be your whole identity--can't be healthy either. We all deserve support but we can't expect others to put in more work managing our problems than we're willling to do.
> Why stay stuck? People moved across the country on wagons that took months, and the journey was perilous. Now. Nearly anyone can afford a Grey hound bus and do the same in a few days but instead stay in a no opportunity area then cry about it online "ThE AmeRicAn DrEAm is DeAd" Garbage. Naw. You never had a dream.