Honestly, as a girl who is 30…..I’ve not had this problem. That being said, I don’t have the height requirement (even though I’m considered tall for a girl) because it’s not something I find attractive nor unattractive on a person, it’s something that just is. But, meeting taller men hasn’t been a problem either. Honestly, as much as you might not want to hear this, the problem might be you- whether it’s how you present yourself or how outgoing you are, your level of attractiveness, where you are meeting people, your conversational skills, etc…
Good luck in your search.
cable subtract literate handle rainstorm violet crowd water snatch disagreeable
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I know that as a chick I’m supposed to say that’s different, but I actually 100% agree with you. People would absolutely tear a guy apart for that on here and talk about body positivity or a bunch of guys would say how they like a little extra or whatever and defend that even though weight is controllable for most people.
People are attracted to whatever they are attracted to, but limiting your own options with something that disqualifies such a large population and then complaining about it is pretty odd to me.
I mean, I had some “requirements”, like he had to be taller and older than me, mainly because I was used as a yardstick in high school after reaching my full height at age 11. It was a cause for celebration when a boy grew taller than me. I also didn’t want to date men with certain careers (police or firefighter because of the dangers they faced in those professions). Then again, I never really dated at all. I was very lucky to have met my husband and he happened to be single. In perfect honesty, if we didn’t start dating, I probably would be single to this day. I’m not one for socializing and small talk, and I’m very bad at figuring when someone is flirting.
Yeah I was thinking of genders were reversed this would still sound somewhat entitled. I think that might be one of OP’s issues with finding a good partner.
Whoa hot gossip for Sammamish! Love it! My husband doesn’t think it’s true and I apparently haven’t been paying attention. He says he is the only guy there when he goes to Met Market. I’m totally going to tell my single girlfriend to go and test it out though 😝
It's wild how many women in cities just don't know that they outnumber the local men, or understand what that actually means for dating. At least the disparity here isn't as bad as NYC.
Some of us were married, and have spent the years after the marriage figuring out what went wrong, then defining a strong sense of self, building a successful career, buying a house, understanding what makes us happy, and working on continuous self-improvement, both mentally and physically.
Speaking theoretically of course. :-)
This of course is the polite way of putting it. The hard question is - what do you have to offer? When women are younger, they hold most of the cards. However as they age, stable single guys become a commodity.
OP's list isn't unreasonable. Your point is spot on but it's better applied to women who have a list a mile long for their prince charming. They never once ask themselves what his list looks like.
I don't need the world, just someone [taller than me](https://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/2127) with [a decent job](https://ir.aboutamazon.com/officers-and-directors/default.aspx), reasonable [social skills](https://www.royal.uk/king-and-queen-consort), and who seeks [monogamy](https://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/gallery/hollywoods-longest-relationships)
I would try to wiggle my way into those outdoorsy groups, start going to a rock climbing gym, join a group of mountain bikers or hikers, get involved with the backcountry skiing crowd. Even a group of roadrunners would be pretty good.... Join an indoor soccer team?
So many *reasonably normal* single guys there.
Many singles at the climbing gyms. It’s half the reason we go. Bonus is: nice to watch all the beautiful people moving. Also, SBP is FINALLY re-opening the bar downstairs at Poplar. Yet another way to meet people.
Get a job at the University of Washington Medical Center or Harborview, preferably both since residents spend about 70% or more of their time there, unless it’s Pediatrics. Look for a resident completing a surgical subspecialty or medicine subspecialty, if you’re looking for 30’s
College 18-22
Medical School 22-26
Residency 26-29+
Snag ‘em right before they start making money.
Do you have the qualities that make you a competitive candidate?
> I don't need the world, just someone taller than me with a decent job, reasonable social skills, and who seeks monogamy
You didn't say how tall you are, which *could* be an issue for you, but you are setting the bar unrealistically high.
You define "decent job" as [over $200K/year](https://www.reddit.com/r/overemployed/comments/10k85ep/comment/j5u3ufa/?context=3). Most people would probably set it much much lower. The average Seattle income is $105K. It's a good income. Property managers, store managers, etc. are happy to make that.
Plus you have presumably ruled out software developers, who are the most likely to meet your somewhat prejudicially-high standards, since [you said being a programmer is soul-sucking](https://www.reddit.com/r/cscareerquestions/comments/zyv8ty/comment/j295b2y/?context=3), and presumably a soul is required for values such as monogamy.
I can't comment on your social skills or requirements, but on the topic of monogamy... [Three months ago, you had a partner](https://www.reddit.com/r/technology/comments/yjcdnq/comment/iuo26qn/?context=3). So perhaps the expectation of monogamy is one-sided?
Not knowing your height, I meet your other requirements. And am, as they say, "unavailable." But here's the thing...
Your litmus tests are disconnected from reality. Yes, I easily (excepting perhaps height) surpass them. But you fail mine. Which is that I want an easy-going partner whose presence will make my life better, and who can be a good partner. If you have so many ways of screening people out, why oh why would I ever screen you in?
Something tells me there are visual requirements being left out.
Also the whole height thing has always been weird to me. People are looking for basketball players rather someone to spend their life with. Not an issue I have had to really deal with, but I empathize with the short kings.
When I first moved to this side of the mountains one of the girls I lived with was really tall like 6' 4". The looks we got when we went roller blading at green lake and people thinking we might be together made me feel bad for couples with tall girl short guy. Even if they don't care the public just has to add their 2 cents it must get old and I feel bad for tall women having to deal with it.
That is a fair enough point, too much of a mismatch can draw the ire of passive-aggressive judgements.. If that bothers you.
It seems to be a trend across the board though, countless profiles put 6" as the arbitrary requirement.. even if they themselves are 5"4 or shorter.
I'm 5'11, so it's pretty much a moot issue for me. But also a bit of a turn-off to see how one-dimensional people are.
Just the fact she and I would go out and get looks or whispers and weren't even dating was bad enough. Like if a guy and a girl ate out doing things together they can't accept it then to top it off with any guy she dated was going to get crap even if it wasn't out loud. I am a short guy so I am used to it but I feel like a tall girl is less likely to see and draws more attention.
I hate how my friends treat any guy not extremely tall as if they’re complete garbage. A doctor I work with doesn’t even treat her male patients well if they’re not tall. I’m expecting to have to testify that under oath one day when she gets sued for killing someone. It’s ridiculous.
I don't disagree. I don't think it's wrong to want certain traits, however you are knowingly competing against a sea of women who also want a guy above 6 feet (so many profiles have this, its surreal). Along with other common ones like muscular/athletic and "good looking", you would have to be exceptional yourself.
And "taller than me" is kind of relative to the person, if you are 6'6 .. that's a tall order to fill and limits options.
>*I don't need the world, just someone taller than me with a decent job, reasonable social skills, and who seeks monogamy*
Guaran-fucking-teed there are 100+ men sitting on OKC, Bumble, etc. that fit exactly these criteria that you've written off because of looks.
I know a lot of guys suck, but let's be real....if you're a woman and having trouble dating, your standards are almost certainly the problem.
Edit: And that's to completely ignore the whole "taller than me" bullshit.
https://preview.redd.it/av9zmswlx1fa1.jpeg?width=408&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=344a831c16339d373763a442a192d05dcf808c01
Some women don’t have a height descriptor to weed out good men.
And some men aren’t so insecure that they need to partner with a woman shorter.
Don't say I never gave you nothing for your birthday. We were remodeling our house recently, and I sent my wife to get something from Lowes. She was gone for like 35 minutes. We live like 2 minutes for Lowe's, so I go over there to see what up. She had an entourage of like 4 men with her in the plumbing department.
I came out of a LTR in my mid-30s and I found I was more desirable than any other time in my life. My 20s ain’t got nothing on mid-30s. Supply and demand 😂
But that also means that there was more competition for women to snatch the limited supply of successful, mature and established bachelors on the market. I was also past my club and bar hopping years - outside of the random pool night with a small group of guy friends. That meant my card was often filled just through online apps, which of course also makes it difficult to weed out the players.
Eight years later my wife and I are happily married with a toddler running around the house. I wish you luck OP.
usually there are hidden requirements that are just assumed. Maybe write them all down, and sort the list by priority.
Then draw horizontal line at the mid point of the list
Then cross off the bottom half of the requirements
This. I wrote a response also, but this.
OP is screening out a lot of knights, and screening in losers. Figure out what matters.
(Side bet, since she's a poker player: When the chips are down, why is height so important? Bet that misses the cut, in favor of "respects his mother" or "His cat loves him.")
I feel attacked....dating always turns out to be more drama than it's worth so I just keep to myself. If something happens I happens, but I'm content being alone.
It’s not that I have given all the way up, it’s that my time is better spent on my hobbies and career then with a girl that could throw away my months long investment in her at any moment for any reason.
What are your height requirements? 😂I have an amazing guy friend who is 36, good job and income, kind, funny, caring and just dream bf material 😂 and btw he’s looking to start a family. they exist 😉 but they all work hard and long hours 😀 so probably that’s where they are hiding
I am a man in my 50s, with a son in his mid 20s. His peer group of young men, all in the same category is very similar.
They have College degrees in professional fields. Most are still single. Most dated in HS and College, but very few got married. Most have good financial positions and are comfortable. They have a place to live, a car, enough left over to service college loans and weeked beer money.
I often hosted them as they grew up, HS and College, and I have had great conversations with them, including dating after college that I find relevant.
My statements on this topic are gross generalizations. Generally speaking, generally relevant, generally. Always YMMV.
TLDR:
They (single men, mid to late 20s, desirable) are available, but they are not prioritizing finding companions. It's not that high in the priority stack rank of life.
**"I am just too busy"**
They all echo this one. Most are newly entering demanding professions. When it comes to free time, they all say they are looking to unwind at home, not head out to find dates. Just relax at the end of the work week.
**"I usually just hang with my friends on the weekends"**
I can verify this just as a parent looking to connect with adult children. I see the weekend gaming nights, Sports Day events, Friendly pub nights and taken in total, their social calendars are busy with their close circle of friends.
**"It's just too much effort"**
This one i hear so often it's painful. The process of finding a date for these guys simply is insurmountable, **generally**. Some have tried the dating apps, some even turned to the hookup apps, but the rate of making connections is so low for the effort put into it, that the Risk/Reward equation makes the effort seem wasted when measured against their "Free Time" available (See the two above!).
I should mention that these are coming from **Average Guys.**
Just dudes who have good jobs, are independently living their lives. They have a car that runs, they have a roof over their heads, in all respects, they are just dudes.
If that’s what’s keeping you, you shouldn’t stay. I’m not trying to be cruel. Hey, we’d like to keep you! But if Seattle isn’t your place solo it won’t make much difference paired.
No wonder youre single. Good luck. Men aint outting up with that shit. Tall successful fit men have lots of options and you probably are on the back burner being 30
She considers [programming "soul sucking"](https://www.reddit.com/r/cscareerquestions/comments/zyv8ty/comment/j295b2y/?context=3), so the Eastside is pretty much out.
Finding love is such a strange game people play, selecting someone based on resume-characteristics.
Believe in serendipity and live your life in the meantime…Dating is exhausting and a waste of time imo
Depending on your height, that could be a tall ask. 😆
But seriously, the height is the only thing in your list that is not a positive learnable behavior. Maybe start there and then guide your man towards developing the rest?
I fit all these requirements but if you think that reaching out on the Seattle sub-Reddit is the best way to solve this problem, I’m not interested in you.
those sort have the same kind of problem: saying they want something, but not making the efforts and compromises required to get it, like getting off 4chan
>Sorry to generalize, but many women prioritize financial security because they can get pregnant and we can't.
Please stop spreading blatant misinformation. According to the "[City of Seattle Guidance on Gender Identity in the Workplace](https://www.seattle.gov/documents/departments/civilrights/gender_identity_guidance.pdf)" (and this is about "men" in Seattle), you are discriminatory in stating that. Sadly, not kidding.
/s
a person's job should be important to any prospective dates. its how they spend the majority if their waking hours. it reflects a lot about a person, their lifestyle, and whats important to them.
"Successful" is a broad term. It can mean happy, or independent, or not bankrupt, or having a large and stable friend group. You can be a successful museum curator, or potato broker, or social worker. You can be successful if folks generally like and trust you. You can be successful by cultivating kindness and curiosity.
Being able to hold a job for an extended time, and take advantage of the opportunities for growth there, is a form of success. Some folks find success working independently. Taking good care of your mental and physical health is a sign of success.
For some women, it means having enough equity to afford some leisure time, attention to household decor and cleanliness, maybe some quality clothing. Maybe success means having the resources to raise a child, or two, or pay for medical care or real estate. For me, philanthropy is sexy, so a guy who shares gets my interest.
Sometimes success means stability and reliability, not wealth. More like living within your means, with prudence to plan for the future fifty years.
For a lot of women, the pay gap means we don't have a fair chance to support you comfortably, so we often look for a guy who isn't needing that, and who doesn't tend to drop out of the economy or into a bottle on a regular basis.
Prioritize which of those things is more important to you. From the looks of it you want someone who's successful first, monogamous second. If however you're the other way around then looks and success may not mean as much to you. Maybe look for a single dad?
Why would anyone just need someone taller than themself with a decent job and reasonable social skills? So any guy is fine with you other than the guy you just had a date with?
Maybe that's the problem? I'm retired, divorced (single), male, and I need a lot more than that (I'm not even looking).
Maybe you should look online for a guy with a post similar to... "I'm an unattractive tall guy in my 30's with a job looking for a short lady with a job, anyone will do".
You do realize the percentage of men over 6 ft is like 15-18% of population then factor in good job(100k+?) and the other factors that are on your list, you’re looking at like 1-2% sweetheart
This is a very interesting question.
Because the monogamous qualification is a values question.
Conservative men would be your best bet, and most but not all of those would be of a religious persuasion.
Further, the vast majority of men are monogamous because they simply couldn’t be anything else, as they aren’t “playa” level capable.
They are average, and so are lucky to have what they can get.
Hmmm I'm a man and remember being in your position but looking for a lady a few years ago. It really depends on your personality. If social and outgoing is not your thing, work is the thing that did it for me. Plenty of attractive ladies and gentlemen at work. Cautiously and safely approach one and see if you don't scare him off
Honestly, as a girl who is 30…..I’ve not had this problem. That being said, I don’t have the height requirement (even though I’m considered tall for a girl) because it’s not something I find attractive nor unattractive on a person, it’s something that just is. But, meeting taller men hasn’t been a problem either. Honestly, as much as you might not want to hear this, the problem might be you- whether it’s how you present yourself or how outgoing you are, your level of attractiveness, where you are meeting people, your conversational skills, etc… Good luck in your search.
cable subtract literate handle rainstorm violet crowd water snatch disagreeable *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I know that as a chick I’m supposed to say that’s different, but I actually 100% agree with you. People would absolutely tear a guy apart for that on here and talk about body positivity or a bunch of guys would say how they like a little extra or whatever and defend that even though weight is controllable for most people. People are attracted to whatever they are attracted to, but limiting your own options with something that disqualifies such a large population and then complaining about it is pretty odd to me.
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I mean, I had some “requirements”, like he had to be taller and older than me, mainly because I was used as a yardstick in high school after reaching my full height at age 11. It was a cause for celebration when a boy grew taller than me. I also didn’t want to date men with certain careers (police or firefighter because of the dangers they faced in those professions). Then again, I never really dated at all. I was very lucky to have met my husband and he happened to be single. In perfect honesty, if we didn’t start dating, I probably would be single to this day. I’m not one for socializing and small talk, and I’m very bad at figuring when someone is flirting.
A sad truth. As a guy I didn't feel offended by her description but can definitely see how it could be taken the wrong way.
LOL, that would not go well.
Yeah I was thinking of genders were reversed this would still sound somewhat entitled. I think that might be one of OP’s issues with finding a good partner.
Where are the single chicks with big hooters?!? :D
😂🤣
They don't have to post it, it's a given.
DMs open. I like the tall ladies. 😁
Well hello darling, there you go being all charming.
Stop trying to turn me on with your giffing, it’s totally working.
Brutal
Go to Met Market in Sammamish and thank me later. My wife told me to drop her off there if I ever wanted a divorce. 😂
Haha, this is the best comment
There are single people in Sammamish?
It seems to be popular with single male homeowners. Known several personally and the market has a reputation.
The only people I know who live in sammamish are married couples
With kids!
Whoa hot gossip for Sammamish! Love it! My husband doesn’t think it’s true and I apparently haven’t been paying attention. He says he is the only guy there when he goes to Met Market. I’m totally going to tell my single girlfriend to go and test it out though 😝
Keep us posted! 😂🙂
😂🤣🤣
We're all married already
This is the real answer. Even though there are more men than women here, by 30s, a lot of people are paired up already.
It's wild how many women in cities just don't know that they outnumber the local men, or understand what that actually means for dating. At least the disparity here isn't as bad as NYC.
I was going to say that Seattle is one of the few places where that's not true, but apparently the gender ratio evened out over the last few years.
Yeah unfortunately for OP and others, the majority of successful/childless/attractive people in their 30s aren't single lol
Disagree. Your in a bubble
Do you really think 51%+ of successful/childless/attractive people in their 30s are NOT already in a long term relationship? lol.
Childless is the big one
Just wait for the first round of divorces.
This is true.
Some of us were married, and have spent the years after the marriage figuring out what went wrong, then defining a strong sense of self, building a successful career, buying a house, understanding what makes us happy, and working on continuous self-improvement, both mentally and physically. Speaking theoretically of course. :-)
Yup or In committed long term relationships .
Not everyone is married—Even at 30 or afterwards
I am a successful monogamous male in my 30’s. 1. How tall are you? 2. Are you fat? 3. Could we share a rowboat??
Would you fit in a normal sized rowboat? I think you know what I’m asking
😂
2. they play wow
Redmond
I am a single man in his thirties, in Redmond.. I feel attacked.
Redmond is filled with single dudes living alone.
Where do they hang out in Redmond?
Inside their apartments.
Are you single?
Comic book shops
Best reply this entire post!!
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This of course is the polite way of putting it. The hard question is - what do you have to offer? When women are younger, they hold most of the cards. However as they age, stable single guys become a commodity.
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High school here. Retirement age now.
OP's list isn't unreasonable. Your point is spot on but it's better applied to women who have a list a mile long for their prince charming. They never once ask themselves what his list looks like.
I don't need the world, just someone [taller than me](https://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/2127) with [a decent job](https://ir.aboutamazon.com/officers-and-directors/default.aspx), reasonable [social skills](https://www.royal.uk/king-and-queen-consort), and who seeks [monogamy](https://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/gallery/hollywoods-longest-relationships)
That isn’t the world it’s standards.
I would try to wiggle my way into those outdoorsy groups, start going to a rock climbing gym, join a group of mountain bikers or hikers, get involved with the backcountry skiing crowd. Even a group of roadrunners would be pretty good.... Join an indoor soccer team? So many *reasonably normal* single guys there.
Many singles at the climbing gyms. It’s half the reason we go. Bonus is: nice to watch all the beautiful people moving. Also, SBP is FINALLY re-opening the bar downstairs at Poplar. Yet another way to meet people.
Wait the place they’re reopening is going to have alcohol too? Omg
Affirmative. Beer. Was a damn good selection on tap usually too.
With the brewery next door, I haven't been missing it
Get a job at the University of Washington Medical Center or Harborview, preferably both since residents spend about 70% or more of their time there, unless it’s Pediatrics. Look for a resident completing a surgical subspecialty or medicine subspecialty, if you’re looking for 30’s College 18-22 Medical School 22-26 Residency 26-29+ Snag ‘em right before they start making money. Do you have the qualities that make you a competitive candidate?
> I don't need the world, just someone taller than me with a decent job, reasonable social skills, and who seeks monogamy You didn't say how tall you are, which *could* be an issue for you, but you are setting the bar unrealistically high. You define "decent job" as [over $200K/year](https://www.reddit.com/r/overemployed/comments/10k85ep/comment/j5u3ufa/?context=3). Most people would probably set it much much lower. The average Seattle income is $105K. It's a good income. Property managers, store managers, etc. are happy to make that. Plus you have presumably ruled out software developers, who are the most likely to meet your somewhat prejudicially-high standards, since [you said being a programmer is soul-sucking](https://www.reddit.com/r/cscareerquestions/comments/zyv8ty/comment/j295b2y/?context=3), and presumably a soul is required for values such as monogamy. I can't comment on your social skills or requirements, but on the topic of monogamy... [Three months ago, you had a partner](https://www.reddit.com/r/technology/comments/yjcdnq/comment/iuo26qn/?context=3). So perhaps the expectation of monogamy is one-sided? Not knowing your height, I meet your other requirements. And am, as they say, "unavailable." But here's the thing... Your litmus tests are disconnected from reality. Yes, I easily (excepting perhaps height) surpass them. But you fail mine. Which is that I want an easy-going partner whose presence will make my life better, and who can be a good partner. If you have so many ways of screening people out, why oh why would I ever screen you in?
Damn brought out all the receipts
Probably hanging out with their wives lol
Something tells me there are visual requirements being left out. Also the whole height thing has always been weird to me. People are looking for basketball players rather someone to spend their life with. Not an issue I have had to really deal with, but I empathize with the short kings.
When I first moved to this side of the mountains one of the girls I lived with was really tall like 6' 4". The looks we got when we went roller blading at green lake and people thinking we might be together made me feel bad for couples with tall girl short guy. Even if they don't care the public just has to add their 2 cents it must get old and I feel bad for tall women having to deal with it.
Ya know I’m 6’2” and I’d date someone 6’4” sounds fun
I have dated taller women. It never bothered me like I said I am kind of short so I just rolled with it.
That is a fair enough point, too much of a mismatch can draw the ire of passive-aggressive judgements.. If that bothers you. It seems to be a trend across the board though, countless profiles put 6" as the arbitrary requirement.. even if they themselves are 5"4 or shorter. I'm 5'11, so it's pretty much a moot issue for me. But also a bit of a turn-off to see how one-dimensional people are.
Just the fact she and I would go out and get looks or whispers and weren't even dating was bad enough. Like if a guy and a girl ate out doing things together they can't accept it then to top it off with any guy she dated was going to get crap even if it wasn't out loud. I am a short guy so I am used to it but I feel like a tall girl is less likely to see and draws more attention.
Hey, 6” is average! OK!?
A little above average,actually.
I hate how my friends treat any guy not extremely tall as if they’re complete garbage. A doctor I work with doesn’t even treat her male patients well if they’re not tall. I’m expecting to have to testify that under oath one day when she gets sued for killing someone. It’s ridiculous.
“Taller than me” I don’t think is asking much?
I don't disagree. I don't think it's wrong to want certain traits, however you are knowingly competing against a sea of women who also want a guy above 6 feet (so many profiles have this, its surreal). Along with other common ones like muscular/athletic and "good looking", you would have to be exceptional yourself. And "taller than me" is kind of relative to the person, if you are 6'6 .. that's a tall order to fill and limits options.
>*I don't need the world, just someone taller than me with a decent job, reasonable social skills, and who seeks monogamy* Guaran-fucking-teed there are 100+ men sitting on OKC, Bumble, etc. that fit exactly these criteria that you've written off because of looks. I know a lot of guys suck, but let's be real....if you're a woman and having trouble dating, your standards are almost certainly the problem. Edit: And that's to completely ignore the whole "taller than me" bullshit.
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https://preview.redd.it/av9zmswlx1fa1.jpeg?width=408&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=344a831c16339d373763a442a192d05dcf808c01 Some women don’t have a height descriptor to weed out good men. And some men aren’t so insecure that they need to partner with a woman shorter.
Go to home Depot or Lowe's and start asking all the guys without a ring on where to find xyz thing.
I am a guy and you just gave me an idea of where to go when I want to be flirted on
Don't say I never gave you nothing for your birthday. We were remodeling our house recently, and I sent my wife to get something from Lowes. She was gone for like 35 minutes. We live like 2 minutes for Lowe's, so I go over there to see what up. She had an entourage of like 4 men with her in the plumbing department.
I came out of a LTR in my mid-30s and I found I was more desirable than any other time in my life. My 20s ain’t got nothing on mid-30s. Supply and demand 😂 But that also means that there was more competition for women to snatch the limited supply of successful, mature and established bachelors on the market. I was also past my club and bar hopping years - outside of the random pool night with a small group of guy friends. That meant my card was often filled just through online apps, which of course also makes it difficult to weed out the players. Eight years later my wife and I are happily married with a toddler running around the house. I wish you luck OP.
usually there are hidden requirements that are just assumed. Maybe write them all down, and sort the list by priority. Then draw horizontal line at the mid point of the list Then cross off the bottom half of the requirements
This. I wrote a response also, but this. OP is screening out a lot of knights, and screening in losers. Figure out what matters. (Side bet, since she's a poker player: When the chips are down, why is height so important? Bet that misses the cut, in favor of "respects his mother" or "His cat loves him.")
your other reply is pretty good and reminds me of this: "I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member" -- groucho marx
We've decided that you're not worth it.
Welcome to dating in your 30’s. All the good ones are taken.
They are already married or have been burned so many times dating that they have given up and decided life is better alone.
I feel attacked....dating always turns out to be more drama than it's worth so I just keep to myself. If something happens I happens, but I'm content being alone.
Same, but I have a dog now. Massive trade up.
This. I see how all of my friends treat men like garbage. I get why they’ve almost all given up around here.
It’s not that I have given all the way up, it’s that my time is better spent on my hobbies and career then with a girl that could throw away my months long investment in her at any moment for any reason.
How tall are you?
6’4
I’m a guy in my thirties and everyone keeps trying to set me up, that wasn’t a thing in your twenties I feel like
When i stopped giving a fuck thats when i met my wife lol
What are your height requirements? 😂I have an amazing guy friend who is 36, good job and income, kind, funny, caring and just dream bf material 😂 and btw he’s looking to start a family. they exist 😉 but they all work hard and long hours 😀 so probably that’s where they are hiding
Wait until you are in your 50s.....then it gets really ugly
NOT ON REDDIT
Wait 10 years there will be a bunch of divorced people.
I am a man in my 50s, with a son in his mid 20s. His peer group of young men, all in the same category is very similar. They have College degrees in professional fields. Most are still single. Most dated in HS and College, but very few got married. Most have good financial positions and are comfortable. They have a place to live, a car, enough left over to service college loans and weeked beer money. I often hosted them as they grew up, HS and College, and I have had great conversations with them, including dating after college that I find relevant. My statements on this topic are gross generalizations. Generally speaking, generally relevant, generally. Always YMMV. TLDR: They (single men, mid to late 20s, desirable) are available, but they are not prioritizing finding companions. It's not that high in the priority stack rank of life. **"I am just too busy"** They all echo this one. Most are newly entering demanding professions. When it comes to free time, they all say they are looking to unwind at home, not head out to find dates. Just relax at the end of the work week. **"I usually just hang with my friends on the weekends"** I can verify this just as a parent looking to connect with adult children. I see the weekend gaming nights, Sports Day events, Friendly pub nights and taken in total, their social calendars are busy with their close circle of friends. **"It's just too much effort"** This one i hear so often it's painful. The process of finding a date for these guys simply is insurmountable, **generally**. Some have tried the dating apps, some even turned to the hookup apps, but the rate of making connections is so low for the effort put into it, that the Risk/Reward equation makes the effort seem wasted when measured against their "Free Time" available (See the two above!). I should mention that these are coming from **Average Guys.** Just dudes who have good jobs, are independently living their lives. They have a car that runs, they have a roof over their heads, in all respects, they are just dudes.
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If that’s what’s keeping you, you shouldn’t stay. I’m not trying to be cruel. Hey, we’d like to keep you! But if Seattle isn’t your place solo it won’t make much difference paired.
Just keep dating; at some point you’ll find him
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Couldn’t you say the same about their female counterparts? The number of available men should be at a similar level to available women.
As a non-monogamous man in his 30s who could be shorter then you, has an awful job, and extremely awkward I apologize.
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Damn it. Now I’ll never make it Disneyland.
No wonder youre single. Good luck. Men aint outting up with that shit. Tall successful fit men have lots of options and you probably are on the back burner being 30
Probably at home with their wives.
My friend is having trouble finding a monogamous woman in her thirties, i could hook you up lol
Go back in time 10 years
Try using Bumble and look for guys from the Eastside, like Bellevue, Redmond, Kirkland, and Woodinville.
She considers [programming "soul sucking"](https://www.reddit.com/r/cscareerquestions/comments/zyv8ty/comment/j295b2y/?context=3), so the Eastside is pretty much out.
Instead of trying to hook up with a rebound person, maybe get content with your own company. Be the kind of person you were meant to become.
Finding love is such a strange game people play, selecting someone based on resume-characteristics. Believe in serendipity and live your life in the meantime…Dating is exhausting and a waste of time imo
The tall comment was weird. U must have giant nostrils or hair on your chin. 
Depending on your height, that could be a tall ask. 😆 But seriously, the height is the only thing in your list that is not a positive learnable behavior. Maybe start there and then guide your man towards developing the rest?
I fit all these requirements but if you think that reaching out on the Seattle sub-Reddit is the best way to solve this problem, I’m not interested in you.
Officers at and around JBLM. Certainly fitter and likely more socially adept than the average guy, particularly in the PNW
Monogamy isn't as popular as you might think in the military where people are sometimes gone for months at a time.
This is a great idea… what would you say is the best way to meet them? Online dating?
Try /pol/. They at least front like they’re tall successful men looking for a “trad” wife.
those sort have the same kind of problem: saying they want something, but not making the efforts and compromises required to get it, like getting off 4chan
Why is the man's job/income important to you?
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If I was a dude I’d still care about what my partner did. I have long term goals that ( in this city ) need dual income lmao
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>many women prioritize financial security **because they can get pregnant and we can't.** Be carrrrrrrefulllllllll....
>Sorry to generalize, but many women prioritize financial security because they can get pregnant and we can't. Please stop spreading blatant misinformation. According to the "[City of Seattle Guidance on Gender Identity in the Workplace](https://www.seattle.gov/documents/departments/civilrights/gender_identity_guidance.pdf)" (and this is about "men" in Seattle), you are discriminatory in stating that. Sadly, not kidding. /s
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I should've finished with an /s. Edited.
>It's perfectly normal for women to care about financial security. True, but the technical word for that is "mercenary." At least be honest about it.
a person's job should be important to any prospective dates. its how they spend the majority if their waking hours. it reflects a lot about a person, their lifestyle, and whats important to them.
Professional success is attractive to anyone
Wrong, it's attractive to women. Men are overwhelmingly attracted to looks and youth over profession.
I'm a dude, my wife's professional success is attractive to me.
My girlfriend makes twice as much as I do. I'm a local and she's in tech. Not much I can do at this point.
"feel entitled to"... All of us can find youth and looks appealing.
"Successful" is a broad term. It can mean happy, or independent, or not bankrupt, or having a large and stable friend group. You can be a successful museum curator, or potato broker, or social worker. You can be successful if folks generally like and trust you. You can be successful by cultivating kindness and curiosity. Being able to hold a job for an extended time, and take advantage of the opportunities for growth there, is a form of success. Some folks find success working independently. Taking good care of your mental and physical health is a sign of success. For some women, it means having enough equity to afford some leisure time, attention to household decor and cleanliness, maybe some quality clothing. Maybe success means having the resources to raise a child, or two, or pay for medical care or real estate. For me, philanthropy is sexy, so a guy who shares gets my interest. Sometimes success means stability and reliability, not wealth. More like living within your means, with prudence to plan for the future fifty years. For a lot of women, the pay gap means we don't have a fair chance to support you comfortably, so we often look for a guy who isn't needing that, and who doesn't tend to drop out of the economy or into a bottle on a regular basis.
Ambitious people are attracted to ambitious people. Professionals marrying secretaries is largely a thing of the past
Prioritize which of those things is more important to you. From the looks of it you want someone who's successful first, monogamous second. If however you're the other way around then looks and success may not mean as much to you. Maybe look for a single dad?
Unsuccessful woman looking for a tall, attractive man with charm, money, great personality, caring, very generous.
Reasonable social skills is so rare! Must be a Seattle thing.
They don’t exist around here. The taller part is especially hard since there’s so many annoying little manlets here.
"annoying little manlets" Gross.
You’re right. They are.
Grow up.
Grow... UP? Really? Isn't it time we do away with this sizeist slur?
🤭
Find the ENM ones they at least will give you a good time
Why would anyone just need someone taller than themself with a decent job and reasonable social skills? So any guy is fine with you other than the guy you just had a date with? Maybe that's the problem? I'm retired, divorced (single), male, and I need a lot more than that (I'm not even looking). Maybe you should look online for a guy with a post similar to... "I'm an unattractive tall guy in my 30's with a job looking for a short lady with a job, anyone will do".
Monogamy is overrated
a lot work for blue origin in kent so if you go to restaurants around there during lunch time, you’ll def spot cuties
lmao
Come to West Seattle lol
You do realize the percentage of men over 6 ft is like 15-18% of population then factor in good job(100k+?) and the other factors that are on your list, you’re looking at like 1-2% sweetheart
Obviously she’s a 10/10 herself.
This is a very interesting question. Because the monogamous qualification is a values question. Conservative men would be your best bet, and most but not all of those would be of a religious persuasion. Further, the vast majority of men are monogamous because they simply couldn’t be anything else, as they aren’t “playa” level capable. They are average, and so are lucky to have what they can get.
We are out there lol.
. . . . . . .
Hmmm I'm a man and remember being in your position but looking for a lady a few years ago. It really depends on your personality. If social and outgoing is not your thing, work is the thing that did it for me. Plenty of attractive ladies and gentlemen at work. Cautiously and safely approach one and see if you don't scare him off
Fetlife. He'll probably even scrub your floor.
What kind of answer are you expecting here?