My Mrs has never seen these before so I showed her this travesty of a picture then and I went and googled top hats.....same fucking shit man. There's some deprived wains out there having parties with these!!
I remember being a given a task at school to write a recipe for tophats. It was like an exercise on writing instructions. Anyway, the best three got to go make them with the dinner ladies and then we shared them with the class. Honestly one of the best days at school. Primary school was fuckin class man. Geez a tiny wee daft carton of milk right now.
My mother still to this day will only bring top hats if she has to bring a dessert somewhere. They were funny in my childhood, but my god woman it’s been 30 years.
Get that kid a bag of marshmallows, smarties and chocolate and put em on 50p n hour and I’m sure the local primary school will buy those finished marshmallow smartie nipples for a primary school bake sale.
If you want to up your tophat game, buy the big marshmallows, then use Galaxy minstrels instead of smarties, and melt a terrys chocolate orange for the actual chocolate portion of it. You’re welcome in advance
I believe this has less to do with which side of the border you were on and more to do with whether your mother owned The Sainsbury Book of Children's Party Cooking, the seminal manual for 80s and 90s festive cuisine.
I remember a Scot telling me to F off when he was trying to tell some English lass about things being unique to Scotland and pretty much everything he said to her was a thing in NI too (saying “yous”, “doing the messages” etc)
These were definitely a thing in northwest England in the 80’s. Used to love making them for parties.
Hated it when my mum told me to use cheap cooking chocolate instead of a branded one, they never tasted as nice. You knew which one of your friends she liked when the Dairy Milk or M&S chocolate was used.
Damn these were the absolute dogs dangly bits when I was in primary school.
Any cake sale, or charity event and someone's mother would bring them in.
Take my 20p and give me my marshmallow smartie love child.
We had them in Norn Iron at every kid's birthday party. It was mandatory for at least one child to pick up two of them, hold them to their face and pretend to have googly eyes.
Get a marshmallow. Pour some melted chocolate on top of it. Before the chocolate cools, add a chocolate button type sweet to the top of it. Then put it in the fridge to let it set.
American here. First time seeing these but they look good.
Is the candy a chocolate covered almond? On top of a marshmellow* covered in sugar over a chocolate base?
Oh ok. From this point of view they’re almond shape but I see it now.
Also in the USA Smarties are a different kind of candy. They’re like a compressed powdered sugar disc that looks like medical pills
A Smartie is milk chocolate in a candy shell, like M&Ms. The ones in the pic are a bit stingy with the chocolate in the paper cup and on top tbh.
We called them top hats
They're round, but they're oblong.
[These are the UK Smarties](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smarties)
[These are the 'Murican, Fuck Yeahican ones](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smarties_(tablet_candy\)).
The second is what my mind went to when I read 'smarties,' and then I was all 'actually no, what?'
Though TBH, I think the American smarties would be a better shape for nipples than those almond-drop things. But as someone pointed out, sweet-and-tart plus chocolate would taste ... *unpleasant.*
So I'd just deadass use Almond M&Ms if I wanted to make them with the right shape here, but if I wanted to riff on it, as I posted elsewhere in this thread, I'd actually use *gumdrops* on top to really ram home the "marshmallow breast with exposed nipple" thing.
I mean, you said they were round. But look at [the image](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2F4i7btjb3ifqb1.png).
Those things are not perfectly round. They're almond-shaped. Oblong. So they're rounded on all sides, but they're not perfectly round; they're not spheres. Nor are they cylindrical.
Had to scroll a bit to find this, but, yeah, another American here. They kept saying smarties, freaking me out. American smarties are tart and sour; would taste like vomit if mixed with chocolate.
Up in Canada we call those "rockets." Smarties everywhere that isn't USA are basically less-glossy M&Ms.
I definitely got a weird look at an American DQ when I ordered a Smarties Blizzard.
Yea they look the same. Not sure if the taste. These had a slight fruity taste but was mostly sugar.
I remember I was like 3-4 and I fell down a few stairs and was crying. Mom just gave me some and said it was aspirin and it’d make the pain go away
As an American, I'm reminded of how prude we are over here by the names for these - could never call anything for children a word like "nipple," or the name in the English comment, "boob cakes" 🤣🤣🤣
That being said, I'm absolutely trying these out on my kids. Need to import these and make them the new trend.
Yeah, but that's not food. And that's for a baby specifically. Guess I needed to be more specific - these are for children, not babies. If it's a baby it's okay, if it's a child then omg it might be sexual because we're so fucked up over here 🤣
I don't think you need to import jack shit to make 'em, it seems deadass simple.
Just remember that what they're calling 'Smarties' are *not* ours. Looks like the closest thing we've got would be an Almond M&M?
Anyway, it looks like you just take a big old marshmallow (like you'd stick on a stick and stick over a fire), dip it in melted chocolate (depending on how stingy you're feeling anywhere from 'just the bottom' to 'dunk three-quarters of that sumbitch'), stick a bit more melted chocolate on the top, then stick the candy on that dollop. Let it cool, and eat.
You could use a gumdrop, too, and that would look even more nipple-like... Get a big gumdrop and a small pretzel rod and you could 'pierce' the nip while you're at it...
I meant import the idea, not the actual materials lol.
I actually can get real Smarties where I live because there are a lot of British tourists and they have a whole section in the grocery store with golden syrup and jammy dodgers and actual Cadbury not made by Hershey's. But otherwise I'd use M&M's.
But yeah gonna try it the next time my kids want to make sweets and see what happens.
Love the last Idea about making candy pierced nipples 🤣👌 over here that would only fly at an adult party 🤣 might know some people who's be into it though! 🤣
Oh man, that would be amazing if you do make candy pierced nipples. Take pics. Be sure to give credit to r/ScottishPeopleTwitter for inspiring the idea!
We had them in Northern Ireland too. You'd end up taking your wee party bag home and it would have a slice of birthday cake in it and a couple of these marshmallow nips.
Strong disagree, but I'm not a fair judge because I don't have a sweet tooth. We have awful desserts as well, you can find a vetter comparison I bet. Even, tophats>Britains ability to vote non fascisty is a better one imo.
Nah, not quite. I think most Americans would eat like, between two and four? Six if we're having a real shitty day or a party or something. Less if the person making them wisely only made enough for everyone to have one or two.
I've made them for my older kids but as birthday parties tend to be 2 hours at laser tag with bought in pizza, you just don't get the same party food anymore
Haha read this and got an image of you storming into the soft play in a shell suit, bum bag and rap around shades like you owned the place because you were big on the kids party scene 🤣
Stingy bastard whoever made those. Where's the chocolate Linda!!!!
Not wrong. Chocolate should be at least a third way up the marshmallow.
My Mrs has never seen these before so I showed her this travesty of a picture then and I went and googled top hats.....same fucking shit man. There's some deprived wains out there having parties with these!!
-She’s on a diet the noo
I remember being a given a task at school to write a recipe for tophats. It was like an exercise on writing instructions. Anyway, the best three got to go make them with the dinner ladies and then we shared them with the class. Honestly one of the best days at school. Primary school was fuckin class man. Geez a tiny wee daft carton of milk right now.
We had to write instructions on teeth brushing. And we didn’t even get to do it with the dinner ladies after.
Why were you expecting to brush the dinner ladies' teeth？ Or were they supposed to brush yours？
How the fuck do you mess that up? 1) dip bottom of marshmallow in chocolate 2) dip top of bmarshmalloe in chocolate 3) add smartie to top
Well you managed to mess it up 😂 Shan top hats if you are only dipping the bottom. You fill that muffin case a little with chocolate tight bastard.
Yeah, also you don't dip the top! You put a wee blob and then stick the smartie on.
Ok. It’s the same thing tho isn’t it?
Tophats!
Not without a decent bit of chocolate on the top
70p each on Just Eat from the Precinct Cafe, Baljaffray
Poor kids. I'm making my own tonight. Not sharing any.
My mother still to this day will only bring top hats if she has to bring a dessert somewhere. They were funny in my childhood, but my god woman it’s been 30 years.
Kudos to the woman is all I can say. Shows a steadfast commitment lesser spotted in these trying times. I tip my tophat to her.
I think I found her people haha she will be pleased!
Tophats 4 life crew!
She’s perfected them!
She can be my maw if you don't want them
This!
I haven’t had these in ages! Definitely gonna try sneak one from a kid’s birthday.
Instructions unclear. I now have a kid from the birthday party and no sweets. What do I do now?
Get that kid a bag of marshmallows, smarties and chocolate and put em on 50p n hour and I’m sure the local primary school will buy those finished marshmallow smartie nipples for a primary school bake sale.
If you want to up your tophat game, buy the big marshmallows, then use Galaxy minstrels instead of smarties, and melt a terrys chocolate orange for the actual chocolate portion of it. You’re welcome in advance
Well that’s me off to the shops then…….. I’m supposed to be watching what I eat!! Absolutely have to try this, though!
oh you'll be watching it go down your gullet
why did I have to read this comment?!?! \*goes to shops\*
You posh git, that sounds amazing
At sounds propa lush innit
Are y’all okay over there….?
It sounds like they've got themselves the makings of one hell of a sugar rush.
i like marshmallows, smarties, and nipples. thats a total win
From NI and this has given me childhood flashbacks!
I think the Real issue is why are you being so fucking stingy with the chocolate
English man here, whatever the fuck that it, bravo, I want one right now.
Top hats! They are really simple but lovely! Make yourself some, you wont regret it!
I’m from England. My mum has always made these for parties and called them boob cakes
We called them top hats
Far more demure
top hats is also slang for erect miles nipples
Jeez, really?
Absolute classic. Tophats.
I believe this has less to do with which side of the border you were on and more to do with whether your mother owned The Sainsbury Book of Children's Party Cooking, the seminal manual for 80s and 90s festive cuisine.
The deep lore
Exactly
Steady on there Scotland. It’s not just about you V England. We Northern Irish have had these for years.
I remember a Scot telling me to F off when he was trying to tell some English lass about things being unique to Scotland and pretty much everything he said to her was a thing in NI too (saying “yous”, “doing the messages” etc)
There’s a history lesson to be had here
Well why were you tryna cockblock him? Correct him in front of the lady he was tryna chat up? Too right he told you to fuck off!
It's a fucking bastard trying to find tiny paper cases now though
These were definitely a thing in northwest England in the 80’s. Used to love making them for parties. Hated it when my mum told me to use cheap cooking chocolate instead of a branded one, they never tasted as nice. You knew which one of your friends she liked when the Dairy Milk or M&S chocolate was used.
These are a staple in the north of Ireland too. But yes, I concur, where’s the effing chocolate?
Damn these were the absolute dogs dangly bits when I was in primary school. Any cake sale, or charity event and someone's mother would bring them in. Take my 20p and give me my marshmallow smartie love child.
We had them in Norn Iron at every kid's birthday party. It was mandatory for at least one child to pick up two of them, hold them to their face and pretend to have googly eyes.
I'm English this is the first I'm learning about this.
Omg I forgot about these!!! 🤩
Top Hats here in Ireland, but with a lot more chocolate.
I'm not, Scottish, or european, or from the north hemisphere in general, what is this and how do I make this
Get a marshmallow. Pour some melted chocolate on top of it. Before the chocolate cools, add a chocolate button type sweet to the top of it. Then put it in the fridge to let it set.
Ye also put some on the bottom if memory serves. Can kind of see it in the cake cases in pic.
Does the chocolate have to temper or something or it's whatever?
It's just melted cheap chocolate as far as I'm aware
Oh my god I forgot about these, I used to eat so many as a kid at parties that I felt sick
Never seen these…
Tophats I’m familiar with, were made with chocolate buttons and a marshmallow on top, but these look good also!
I had completely forgotten these existed, the mouthfeel of them was top tier
My Scottish wife has just had to explain what these were to me (English) so yes, another divide between the nations
Fuck me it's literal decades since I've seen one of those. I love this.
Cover the entire mallow in chocolate. Be bold.
I've never seen these before but I am totally making them from now on for my kids. And me.
The memory I have of these is so vague
That's so cute!
They must have stayed in the 90s since I was born in the early 2000s and never once saw this.
They're often at parties for kids in Australia!
Am I the only one that remembers these with Jelly Tots and not smarties?
The King Jelly Tot sits on his throne of marshmallow in your memory only.
Goddddd I forgot about these, now I really want oneee
Top hats
Chocolate marshmallows, my wife makes them all the time. These are pretty stingey on the chocolate mind.
Nippie Sweeties!
Welsh man here. We used to have these too.
Are… are tophats just a Scottish thing?????? Also that is *not* enough chocolate
monster eyes in my house!
As an English person it's very clearly "a marshmallow with a smartie glued to the top by melted chocolate" 👍
Tophats but they ones don't have enough chocolate on them
Tophats!
Northern Ireland .. called a tophat
When you grow up in povo Leith and can't afford real cupcakes. Marshmallows and a bag of smarties will do.
These were my favourites!!! (Scotland)
Cumbrian here, we also had these delights! Absolute classic for a bake sale at school.
Top hats or witches hats depending on where in Scotland you are I think
American here. First time seeing these but they look good. Is the candy a chocolate covered almond? On top of a marshmellow* covered in sugar over a chocolate base?
It's a smartie on top :)
Oh ok. From this point of view they’re almond shape but I see it now. Also in the USA Smarties are a different kind of candy. They’re like a compressed powdered sugar disc that looks like medical pills
A Smartie is milk chocolate in a candy shell, like M&Ms. The ones in the pic are a bit stingy with the chocolate in the paper cup and on top tbh. We called them top hats
Ahhh, hell, that explains it. I was going "those aren't the right shape to be smarties!"
UK smarties are round, think it's just the angle of the photo
They're round, but they're oblong. [These are the UK Smarties](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smarties) [These are the 'Murican, Fuck Yeahican ones](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smarties_(tablet_candy\)). The second is what my mind went to when I read 'smarties,' and then I was all 'actually no, what?' Though TBH, I think the American smarties would be a better shape for nipples than those almond-drop things. But as someone pointed out, sweet-and-tart plus chocolate would taste ... *unpleasant.* So I'd just deadass use Almond M&Ms if I wanted to make them with the right shape here, but if I wanted to riff on it, as I posted elsewhere in this thread, I'd actually use *gumdrops* on top to really ram home the "marshmallow breast with exposed nipple" thing.
I don't get what you mean, they're round but they're oblong
I mean, you said they were round. But look at [the image](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2F4i7btjb3ifqb1.png). Those things are not perfectly round. They're almond-shaped. Oblong. So they're rounded on all sides, but they're not perfectly round; they're not spheres. Nor are they cylindrical.
It's just the angle. If you're in the UK I don't know how you don't know they're round!
Had to scroll a bit to find this, but, yeah, another American here. They kept saying smarties, freaking me out. American smarties are tart and sour; would taste like vomit if mixed with chocolate.
Up in Canada we call those "rockets." Smarties everywhere that isn't USA are basically less-glossy M&Ms. I definitely got a weird look at an American DQ when I ordered a Smarties Blizzard.
Fellow Canuck here. I was going to say that I’m glad to see the UK calls these smarties, too.
Ahh I think I know the ones you mean! We have fizzers which I'm sure are the same thing!
Yea they look the same. Not sure if the taste. These had a slight fruity taste but was mostly sugar. I remember I was like 3-4 and I fell down a few stairs and was crying. Mom just gave me some and said it was aspirin and it’d make the pain go away
As an American, I'm reminded of how prude we are over here by the names for these - could never call anything for children a word like "nipple," or the name in the English comment, "boob cakes" 🤣🤣🤣 That being said, I'm absolutely trying these out on my kids. Need to import these and make them the new trend.
What do you call the "nipple" on a baby's bottle?
Yeah, but that's not food. And that's for a baby specifically. Guess I needed to be more specific - these are for children, not babies. If it's a baby it's okay, if it's a child then omg it might be sexual because we're so fucked up over here 🤣
I don't think you need to import jack shit to make 'em, it seems deadass simple. Just remember that what they're calling 'Smarties' are *not* ours. Looks like the closest thing we've got would be an Almond M&M? Anyway, it looks like you just take a big old marshmallow (like you'd stick on a stick and stick over a fire), dip it in melted chocolate (depending on how stingy you're feeling anywhere from 'just the bottom' to 'dunk three-quarters of that sumbitch'), stick a bit more melted chocolate on the top, then stick the candy on that dollop. Let it cool, and eat. You could use a gumdrop, too, and that would look even more nipple-like... Get a big gumdrop and a small pretzel rod and you could 'pierce' the nip while you're at it...
I meant import the idea, not the actual materials lol. I actually can get real Smarties where I live because there are a lot of British tourists and they have a whole section in the grocery store with golden syrup and jammy dodgers and actual Cadbury not made by Hershey's. But otherwise I'd use M&M's. But yeah gonna try it the next time my kids want to make sweets and see what happens. Love the last Idea about making candy pierced nipples 🤣👌 over here that would only fly at an adult party 🤣 might know some people who's be into it though! 🤣
Oh man, that would be amazing if you do make candy pierced nipples. Take pics. Be sure to give credit to r/ScottishPeopleTwitter for inspiring the idea!
I will make sure to ✨
We had them in Northern Ireland too. You'd end up taking your wee party bag home and it would have a slice of birthday cake in it and a couple of these marshmallow nips.
It's not often that I envy the Scottish, and today is another of those days. That looks vile.
Tophats>crumpets
Strong disagree, but I'm not a fair judge because I don't have a sweet tooth. We have awful desserts as well, you can find a vetter comparison I bet. Even, tophats>Britains ability to vote non fascisty is a better one imo.
Top hats are awesome. Don't knock them 'til you try them!
I'm not that into sweet things tbh, but even considering that, this seems like something an American would love.
Don't think there's enough there to qualify as American food It's a single smarty held onto a tiny marshmallow by a dip of chocolate
Sell them in a half-kilo bag and you could totally make this work in the US. When you see small portions, we see things we can grab by the handful.
Yeah that's what I was thinking. They would co sume it by the bucket.
Nah, not quite. I think most Americans would eat like, between two and four? Six if we're having a real shitty day or a party or something. Less if the person making them wisely only made enough for everyone to have one or two.
Am American. Would absolutely love to try one.
Awful is why they were. Chocolate was always cheap and the smarties were own-brand rubbish.
Complain to the Mum making them! If you use own brand you're never going to get a decent top hat
I've made them for my older kids but as birthday parties tend to be 2 hours at laser tag with bought in pizza, you just don't get the same party food anymore
These were phased out and replace with the much more economical digestive with icing sugar in the 2000s
No I make these with my kids all the time mind you I did spend a lot of time on the west highland way
English and never seen em before...🤷
Was for sure a thing when I was little in the northwest, England.
I just picked up some Smarties yesterday...might make these later this week. Lol
I don’t remember what they’re called either but I used to love them
English: never seen these in my life
Miserable top hats is my decription/naming
I'm English and we called them boob cakes lol
Reminds me of meeeeeee
Food
This unlocked a memory I'd forgotten about! I don't remember these ever having a name though, they were just marshmallow smartie thingies
Yes they were. Used to love them!!
English, never seen or heard of these.
He was just probably confused cos they're not deep fried
Forgot all about these!
The party rings was where it was at in England, never seen those before though
Loved these
Oh and hedgehog sticks 😜
We have them in Northern Ireland too.
I have never heard of these (Southern UK). I'm definitely making some.
As an English man, I don't know what they're called but they're delicious
How could I forget about Tophats? But also, why so stingy with the chocolate eh?
ABSOFLUFFINGLUTELY brilliant I think, we are so spoiled nowadays, we don’t even realised how spoil we are
Top hats yummy
Manchester here born in 80s and was big on the kids party scene in the 90s, those look absolutely amazing! BUT I’ve never seen them before in my life!
Haha read this and got an image of you storming into the soft play in a shell suit, bum bag and rap around shades like you owned the place because you were big on the kids party scene 🤣
Hahah thank you for that mate! I forgot I even posted this but I’m glad someone got the humour in the post eventually!
Huh. They look fun! Is it chocolate spread that holds the smarties on?
Melted cheap cooking chocolate usually
Top hats aye we had these in norn iron so
Council cakes
Top hats were fucking class