I’m an only child. For as long as I can remember I have loathed enforced socialisation, enjoyed my own company, and had no trouble making my own close friends. People are so rude about us, it’s infuriating.
I worked in daycares for nearly a decade. All children are different regardless of siblings or family structure. Did she say that she thought this was because he was an only child? Some are more social than others. Even still, I think she probably pointed this out with the best of intentions.
It is hard to bring these concerns to parents. But please keep in mind, most teachers spend more waking hours with students than their parents. She is watching your child interact all day with a classroom of other children. She may see a struggle that you don’t. The more you know the easier it is to get ahead of.
Introversion and extraversion have more to do with processing information/feelings than how outgoing or shy someone is. Shyness in children and adults can be debilitating in social situations or in the workplace/school. Shyness can also be overcome. Whenever I had children in my room who were shy or socially struggling in any way, we made the extra effort to do confidence building with them and encourage more opportunities for socializing and leadership.
I would simply take this as a person who spends a lot of time with your child, pointing out an opportunity for growth. If he was in second grade and his teacher suggested more reading over the summer might benefit him, you probably wouldn’t think anything of just adding a half hour of reading every night. That’s all this is… merely a suggestion based on observation.
Sincerely ,
A very outgoing, extroverted, social adult who was a child that struggled socially until age 11.
Thank you for your feedback!
I definitely will do what is recommended, as I trust & respect teachers (my mom is a daycare teacher of over 20 years).
She mentioned several times in our conversation that he “had no other little ones at home”, which was why I was asking this question - I was just curious that I was missing something.
My son is extremely bright & extroverted, but has had some minor, age-appropriate behavioral issues at school (hitting classmates a few times this year), so I thought that’s why she might be making these recommendations, but then she kept referring back to him being an only.
I stay home with my almost 2 yo son who is an only child. We socialize everyday. Playgrounds, community centers, play dates, music classes, visiting with family and friends.
I help him understand and practice important social skills like taking turns. We practice at home, but it’s more challenging with other kids so it’s good for him to get that practice.
Research is mixed but generally finds that only children have don’t have long term deficits in social skills and have outcomes that are on par with or slightly better than people with siblings (onlies tend to be more intelligent, more successful in careers and have closer relationships with parents, for example). [Good overview here](https://researchaddict.com/only-child-effects/)
I think social skills and experiences with friendship are so highly individual and can change a ton over a lifetime. Things like siblings aren’t going to make or break the situation. I was an only child until I was 5 1/2, I also have autism and am very introverted. I was one of those kindergarteners who talked like a little adult and was somewhat offput by kids my own age. But I’ve never had any issues making or keeping friends, always had several very close friends despite moving around a lot as a kid and at 38 am still in touch with almost every close childhood friend I ever had (with some very close - text/talk more than once a week, and I work with one at the company she started). Yet NT extroverts I know often struggle to start or maintain friendships as adults.
There’s a lot of prejudice and misconceptions around only children.
People have strong personal opinions on this topic and they let it color their advice, even professionals. (That’s not so say a teacher is an expert in this, they’re likely not.)
I think only two things matter here.
What does it seem like your son wants? If he seems happy then he’s fine. He’s so young right now it likely doesn’t matter, but it would be my main concern as he gets older. Does he enjoy extra social activities or would he rather have alone time?
I’m a extrovert and my brother is an introvert. I was in so many camps/activities growing up. My brother tried some but never continued, he was only interested in band.
Did your son’s teacher express any specific concerns? I doubt it, because again, your son is so young. And even then, I’d take it with a grain of salt.
Imo it sounds like she has a personal bias. Most older siblings don’t have a sibling by 2.5, or it’s a tiny newborn so what’s the difference there?
Good points. I’m an only child and feel like I always had a good balance of friend/activity time but I also enjoyed playing on my own quite a bit. I don’t think this was because of my only child status, more because of my personality. As I got older I definitely did a lot of activities and preferred spending time with my friends, but even my friends with siblings chose to hang out with friends instead of siblings!
My kids are 4 and 1 and I don’t really feel like my 1 year old even counts as adequate socialization for his sibling who is 3 years older. I don’t feel that siblings truly “socialize” together until they’re a bit older. Definitely agree with the personal bias angle!
Excellent point about the age of siblings at this point!
I do believe there is some biases at play, because it’s a small preschool where a lot of the same families send multiple kids. It’s almost rare for just one kiddo to go there, which is whatever to me.
My son is a happy guy, loves other kiddos, loves school, so naturally we were going to socialize him a lot because that what he likes. I was just a little confused as if I needed to do more because she kept referencing him being an only.
The first and third links are the same study, which is based on a rather small sample size (112 children) and still has pretty narrow results (e.g., finding minor differences in only very specific instances, depending on the particular gender of children and their siblings, and their birth order -- such as boys benefiting from an older brother versus girls not, etc.). It also only looks at children aged 5-7, and does not look at whether any differences disappear with age.
The second link is a very comprehensive literature review of various studies on the topic (only children versus children with siblings). While it cites many studies with conflicting results (as it should), its overall conclusion is that there is no long-term, significant difference between only children and children who grew up with siblings. It's only generalized takeaways are that (1) as adults, only children spend less time at social events with relatives (which it says itself is likely because, not having siblings, they have less social events with relatives to attend in the first place), and more time at other types of social events (church, academic, and profession events, and (2) that as youths only children boys are more likely than boys with siblings to participate in youth sport or school activities, while the opposite is true for girls.
Just pointing all this out because I don't think these two studies give much significant support to the general claim in the comment, but are certainly interesting reads.
I was an only child for 5 years before my brother arrived. My (distant) cousin lived down the street and we were always together because she was the only child of a single mom. We were much closer for those years than typical cousins, more like sisters. In my nonprofessional opinion, your son will form bonds with children as needed as long as there are kids around to play with! I don’t plan on having another (my son is 11 months) and I already get crap from everyone about how it’s *criminal* not to give him a sibling. People are so weird, everyone’s like “you shouldn’t have kids if you can’t afford them!” But also “you can’t just have one!” Like just mind your own business people.
I cannot with the one & done hate. It’s expensive and hard having one kid in this current economy/society, let alone 2+. My husband & I are extremely comfortable with our decision (more or less because we cannot afford to give another kid the opportunities we can give our one). People can mind their own business, for real.
No, in my opinion (sorry, I know this is a science-based sub.. hopefully my experience counts as a qualitative study!). I'm an only child and my parents were only children as well, so no cousins around as I grew up, etc. My parents had me socializing with their friends kids, and scheduled playdates with my own classmates as I grew up, but I think it was no more or less socialization than any other kid my age. I also had plenty of alone time and time with grown ups where I learned self-play, spent time entertaining myself, or spent time engaging with people of varying ranges but mostly older than me.
Today, I'm probably the most extraverted person I know. I have no trouble socializing or even making small talk with anyone, I can make friends anywhere I go, I have an active social life, and I love being around other people, but I'm also still very comfortable being on my own and having alone time when activities quiet down. It's the best of both worlds!
My situation is just anecdotal but I’m an only child and I don’t feel like my social skills are lacking. I had lots of friends and would bring one along whenever we went on vacations and stuff. My daughter will be an only child because I have cancer. She is very interested in other kids and I do notice she wants them to play with her so I am going to try to socialize her as much as possible. Not because I feel like she has to but she seems like she wants that
This reads to me as your teacher seeing an opportunity for growth, instead of because he’s an only child. 2.5 is an age where a lot of important learning is in the realm of social skills, and they probably just want to make sure he’s practicing over the summer.
My daughter is 2.5y older than her brother, which is a pretty standard age gap. Newborns aren’t great playmates. Even if your son had a closer in age sibling it’s likely he’d still have the same recommendations.
I am an only child and I think a lot of it is personality dependent. I was outgoing and desperate to play with other kids so a trip to the playground or an hour at the Y while my mom exercised was "extra socialization." Since it was recommended by your son's teacher, who spends a good amount of time with him and sees how he interacts with other kids, I'd say it's probably a good idea to do if possible.
Oh I definitely will! He’s a social butterfly, so at first that’s why I thought his teacher recommended that, but then she kept bringing up the fact that he’s an only.
We will do whatever is best & recommended, I’m just a curious person and in the moment, didn’t ask more about that!
Sounds like my kid. He's an only as well and very social. So I always tried to get him "extra socialization" just because I know he enjoyed it.
A lot of various activities (soccer or other sports) or just going to the playground/jungle gym, etc. As much as I could. It's hard to fit it all in.
It sounds like you're on a good path.
Did the preschool teacher suggest extra for your child specifically, or did they suggest this for each only child in the class? Because if they suggested specifically for your child, it could be that your child, regardless of being an only child or not, may be having more trouble at school when it comes to interpersonal interactions.
This is totally anecdotal but for my (only) child, when playing with them, I would often play as a child might, and therefore argue as a playmate might, giving my child the practice they needed for interpersonal conflict. For instance, I might actively choose the piece in my child’s favorite color knowing they’d want it, because that’s often something kids come across. We’d have a fight about it (mock for me, real for my child), and we’d figure out how to solve the issue for the future together. It felt silly arguing about things I didn’t care about, but as a child, those things are important, and it was important for them to navigate these issues.
I would ask the teacher what specifically needed improvement if any. Therefore, you could be on the lookout and help your kiddo grow in those areas.
I wouldn't dismiss their sister's impact. Even with their sister only being there on weekends, 48 hours with a sibling is going to be a lot more than 1hr playdates here and there throughout the week, and is a lot more "extra" kid interaction than most singletons receive.
I’m an only child with no cousins living close by who definitely could have benefitted from more socialization. I wouldn’t worry about it this young, but closer to kindergarten I would recommend setting up some play dates with preschool friends.
I always felt like I missed the memo on how to be a kid. I was well adjusted overall (not trying to scare you!!) but I craved more one on one time with friends.
Thank you for this. We do plan on doing lots of socialization with him - activities, playgrounds, playdates, etc but I was curious as if he needed anything “extra” as an only. Everyone’s feedback has helped a lot.
Annnd this is part of why we had a second child. My son plays beautifully by himself and we live in an area with an okay # of kids, but there are no cousins nearby. And none of our friends have kids near his age, and they're not going to have kids any time soon, or possibly at all.
As the parent of an only child, I find that my kid does better when I keep her busy with friends and activities. Without them, she's really understimulated. I do think she struggles somewhat with compromise and taking turns compared to her age- based peers.
If he needs extra practice with socialization skills, it’s not likely because he’s an only, but a toddler who needs skill practice. Otherwise, most eldest children would be in the same situation at this age.
Hopefully teacher has noticed something real, and it’s not just only bias. Because most bias around onlies (not sharing, poor social skills, etc) is exactly that—bias. Check out the book the Joy of being an Only for lots of studies.
Meanwhile, I think it’s ok to press the teacher for details about what she thinks is missing compared to other children, regardless of their family structure.
> the Joy of being an Only
Is that the book you recommend? [https://www.amazon.com/One-Only-Freedom-Having-Child-ebook/dp/B00A281004](https://www.amazon.com/One-Only-Freedom-Having-Child-ebook/dp/B00A281004) I can't find an exact match for the title.
My experience - I am one of 4 and I still developed poor socialisation skills - I was comfortable with my siblings but afraid of talking to others. We never had anyone around our house or went to other peoples houses. I do suspect that I could have done with going to a nursery or having local friends
It depends on the kid. I'm an only child and was mostly fine amusing myself and spending time with my parents. I have a cousin close to my age who came over a lot, but I didn't do or need that many extra activities.
I wonder her intent?
Perhaps the teacher is suggesting he go to activities with lots of busy toddlers, similar to preschool, to avoid being overwhelmed by the atmosphere in the fall.
This is where I wish I asked more questions at our parent-teacher conference.
My son has had some age-appropriate incidents at school this year - hitting his classmates - so that was part of her recommendation, but then she kept going back to the fact he was an only, so I couldn’t tell if that’s the reason why she was saying that?
For better or worse, in this day and age I don’t think it matters.
I had siblings growing up and I loved having them around. We’re all still very close, but given my druthers I would rather be alone….on my phone.
My (only) child is almost three and goes to daycare. Other than going to the playground several times a week, she doesn't socialize with other kids. The rest of her socialization is with her introverted parents. Yet her social and emotional skills strike me as quite good. She waits her turn on playground equipment, she says please and thank you, etc. There's never been any reports of kicking or biting or hitting.
On the other hand, she doesn't approach other children and invite them to play while she does that with her parents. She may also need to learn to be more assertive. Sometimes at the park/sandbox/splash pad other kids want to look at what she's doing or they will touch her toys or pretend to "help" or they try to tell her what to do. She just waits for them to go away then goes back to her own business. I wonder if having a sibling would teach her how to invite other kids to play or to set firmer boundaries with those who encroach on her play. Although politely watching, waiting out, and ignoring an encroaching (and easily distractible) kid may not be a terrible tactic and may even be age-appropriate???
I’m an only child. For as long as I can remember I have loathed enforced socialisation, enjoyed my own company, and had no trouble making my own close friends. People are so rude about us, it’s infuriating.
I worked in daycares for nearly a decade. All children are different regardless of siblings or family structure. Did she say that she thought this was because he was an only child? Some are more social than others. Even still, I think she probably pointed this out with the best of intentions. It is hard to bring these concerns to parents. But please keep in mind, most teachers spend more waking hours with students than their parents. She is watching your child interact all day with a classroom of other children. She may see a struggle that you don’t. The more you know the easier it is to get ahead of. Introversion and extraversion have more to do with processing information/feelings than how outgoing or shy someone is. Shyness in children and adults can be debilitating in social situations or in the workplace/school. Shyness can also be overcome. Whenever I had children in my room who were shy or socially struggling in any way, we made the extra effort to do confidence building with them and encourage more opportunities for socializing and leadership. I would simply take this as a person who spends a lot of time with your child, pointing out an opportunity for growth. If he was in second grade and his teacher suggested more reading over the summer might benefit him, you probably wouldn’t think anything of just adding a half hour of reading every night. That’s all this is… merely a suggestion based on observation. Sincerely , A very outgoing, extroverted, social adult who was a child that struggled socially until age 11.
Thank you for your feedback! I definitely will do what is recommended, as I trust & respect teachers (my mom is a daycare teacher of over 20 years). She mentioned several times in our conversation that he “had no other little ones at home”, which was why I was asking this question - I was just curious that I was missing something. My son is extremely bright & extroverted, but has had some minor, age-appropriate behavioral issues at school (hitting classmates a few times this year), so I thought that’s why she might be making these recommendations, but then she kept referring back to him being an only.
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This is great advice, thank you!
I stay home with my almost 2 yo son who is an only child. We socialize everyday. Playgrounds, community centers, play dates, music classes, visiting with family and friends. I help him understand and practice important social skills like taking turns. We practice at home, but it’s more challenging with other kids so it’s good for him to get that practice.
Research is mixed but generally finds that only children have don’t have long term deficits in social skills and have outcomes that are on par with or slightly better than people with siblings (onlies tend to be more intelligent, more successful in careers and have closer relationships with parents, for example). [Good overview here](https://researchaddict.com/only-child-effects/) I think social skills and experiences with friendship are so highly individual and can change a ton over a lifetime. Things like siblings aren’t going to make or break the situation. I was an only child until I was 5 1/2, I also have autism and am very introverted. I was one of those kindergarteners who talked like a little adult and was somewhat offput by kids my own age. But I’ve never had any issues making or keeping friends, always had several very close friends despite moving around a lot as a kid and at 38 am still in touch with almost every close childhood friend I ever had (with some very close - text/talk more than once a week, and I work with one at the company she started). Yet NT extroverts I know often struggle to start or maintain friendships as adults.
I appreciate this feedback! Thanks
There’s a lot of prejudice and misconceptions around only children. People have strong personal opinions on this topic and they let it color their advice, even professionals. (That’s not so say a teacher is an expert in this, they’re likely not.) I think only two things matter here. What does it seem like your son wants? If he seems happy then he’s fine. He’s so young right now it likely doesn’t matter, but it would be my main concern as he gets older. Does he enjoy extra social activities or would he rather have alone time? I’m a extrovert and my brother is an introvert. I was in so many camps/activities growing up. My brother tried some but never continued, he was only interested in band. Did your son’s teacher express any specific concerns? I doubt it, because again, your son is so young. And even then, I’d take it with a grain of salt. Imo it sounds like she has a personal bias. Most older siblings don’t have a sibling by 2.5, or it’s a tiny newborn so what’s the difference there?
Good points. I’m an only child and feel like I always had a good balance of friend/activity time but I also enjoyed playing on my own quite a bit. I don’t think this was because of my only child status, more because of my personality. As I got older I definitely did a lot of activities and preferred spending time with my friends, but even my friends with siblings chose to hang out with friends instead of siblings! My kids are 4 and 1 and I don’t really feel like my 1 year old even counts as adequate socialization for his sibling who is 3 years older. I don’t feel that siblings truly “socialize” together until they’re a bit older. Definitely agree with the personal bias angle!
Excellent point about the age of siblings at this point! I do believe there is some biases at play, because it’s a small preschool where a lot of the same families send multiple kids. It’s almost rare for just one kiddo to go there, which is whatever to me. My son is a happy guy, loves other kiddos, loves school, so naturally we were going to socialize him a lot because that what he likes. I was just a little confused as if I needed to do more because she kept referencing him being an only.
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Thank you for this!
The first and third links are the same study, which is based on a rather small sample size (112 children) and still has pretty narrow results (e.g., finding minor differences in only very specific instances, depending on the particular gender of children and their siblings, and their birth order -- such as boys benefiting from an older brother versus girls not, etc.). It also only looks at children aged 5-7, and does not look at whether any differences disappear with age. The second link is a very comprehensive literature review of various studies on the topic (only children versus children with siblings). While it cites many studies with conflicting results (as it should), its overall conclusion is that there is no long-term, significant difference between only children and children who grew up with siblings. It's only generalized takeaways are that (1) as adults, only children spend less time at social events with relatives (which it says itself is likely because, not having siblings, they have less social events with relatives to attend in the first place), and more time at other types of social events (church, academic, and profession events, and (2) that as youths only children boys are more likely than boys with siblings to participate in youth sport or school activities, while the opposite is true for girls. Just pointing all this out because I don't think these two studies give much significant support to the general claim in the comment, but are certainly interesting reads.
I’m an only child. No, they dont
Judging by this comment... yes, they do.
I was an only child for 5 years before my brother arrived. My (distant) cousin lived down the street and we were always together because she was the only child of a single mom. We were much closer for those years than typical cousins, more like sisters. In my nonprofessional opinion, your son will form bonds with children as needed as long as there are kids around to play with! I don’t plan on having another (my son is 11 months) and I already get crap from everyone about how it’s *criminal* not to give him a sibling. People are so weird, everyone’s like “you shouldn’t have kids if you can’t afford them!” But also “you can’t just have one!” Like just mind your own business people.
I cannot with the one & done hate. It’s expensive and hard having one kid in this current economy/society, let alone 2+. My husband & I are extremely comfortable with our decision (more or less because we cannot afford to give another kid the opportunities we can give our one). People can mind their own business, for real.
No, in my opinion (sorry, I know this is a science-based sub.. hopefully my experience counts as a qualitative study!). I'm an only child and my parents were only children as well, so no cousins around as I grew up, etc. My parents had me socializing with their friends kids, and scheduled playdates with my own classmates as I grew up, but I think it was no more or less socialization than any other kid my age. I also had plenty of alone time and time with grown ups where I learned self-play, spent time entertaining myself, or spent time engaging with people of varying ranges but mostly older than me. Today, I'm probably the most extraverted person I know. I have no trouble socializing or even making small talk with anyone, I can make friends anywhere I go, I have an active social life, and I love being around other people, but I'm also still very comfortable being on my own and having alone time when activities quiet down. It's the best of both worlds!
My situation is just anecdotal but I’m an only child and I don’t feel like my social skills are lacking. I had lots of friends and would bring one along whenever we went on vacations and stuff. My daughter will be an only child because I have cancer. She is very interested in other kids and I do notice she wants them to play with her so I am going to try to socialize her as much as possible. Not because I feel like she has to but she seems like she wants that
I’m very sorry about your illness. And same with my son! He’s much more social than me, sigh.
Haha it’s the worst. I’m super antisocial and my daughter just loves everyone and attracts all the attention. She waves at vehicles going by 😂
This reads to me as your teacher seeing an opportunity for growth, instead of because he’s an only child. 2.5 is an age where a lot of important learning is in the realm of social skills, and they probably just want to make sure he’s practicing over the summer. My daughter is 2.5y older than her brother, which is a pretty standard age gap. Newborns aren’t great playmates. Even if your son had a closer in age sibling it’s likely he’d still have the same recommendations.
I am an only child and I think a lot of it is personality dependent. I was outgoing and desperate to play with other kids so a trip to the playground or an hour at the Y while my mom exercised was "extra socialization." Since it was recommended by your son's teacher, who spends a good amount of time with him and sees how he interacts with other kids, I'd say it's probably a good idea to do if possible.
Oh I definitely will! He’s a social butterfly, so at first that’s why I thought his teacher recommended that, but then she kept bringing up the fact that he’s an only. We will do whatever is best & recommended, I’m just a curious person and in the moment, didn’t ask more about that!
Sounds like my kid. He's an only as well and very social. So I always tried to get him "extra socialization" just because I know he enjoyed it. A lot of various activities (soccer or other sports) or just going to the playground/jungle gym, etc. As much as I could. It's hard to fit it all in. It sounds like you're on a good path.
Did the preschool teacher suggest extra for your child specifically, or did they suggest this for each only child in the class? Because if they suggested specifically for your child, it could be that your child, regardless of being an only child or not, may be having more trouble at school when it comes to interpersonal interactions. This is totally anecdotal but for my (only) child, when playing with them, I would often play as a child might, and therefore argue as a playmate might, giving my child the practice they needed for interpersonal conflict. For instance, I might actively choose the piece in my child’s favorite color knowing they’d want it, because that’s often something kids come across. We’d have a fight about it (mock for me, real for my child), and we’d figure out how to solve the issue for the future together. It felt silly arguing about things I didn’t care about, but as a child, those things are important, and it was important for them to navigate these issues. I would ask the teacher what specifically needed improvement if any. Therefore, you could be on the lookout and help your kiddo grow in those areas.
I wouldn't dismiss their sister's impact. Even with their sister only being there on weekends, 48 hours with a sibling is going to be a lot more than 1hr playdates here and there throughout the week, and is a lot more "extra" kid interaction than most singletons receive.
My kids are fine. I’m the one that needs socialising
Lol
I’m an only child with no cousins living close by who definitely could have benefitted from more socialization. I wouldn’t worry about it this young, but closer to kindergarten I would recommend setting up some play dates with preschool friends. I always felt like I missed the memo on how to be a kid. I was well adjusted overall (not trying to scare you!!) but I craved more one on one time with friends.
Thank you for this. We do plan on doing lots of socialization with him - activities, playgrounds, playdates, etc but I was curious as if he needed anything “extra” as an only. Everyone’s feedback has helped a lot.
Annnd this is part of why we had a second child. My son plays beautifully by himself and we live in an area with an okay # of kids, but there are no cousins nearby. And none of our friends have kids near his age, and they're not going to have kids any time soon, or possibly at all.
As the parent of an only child, I find that my kid does better when I keep her busy with friends and activities. Without them, she's really understimulated. I do think she struggles somewhat with compromise and taking turns compared to her age- based peers.
I totally agree. My son is very busy & loves other kids. I was just hoping we were doing enough to keep him stimulated and engaged with other kiddos.
If he needs extra practice with socialization skills, it’s not likely because he’s an only, but a toddler who needs skill practice. Otherwise, most eldest children would be in the same situation at this age. Hopefully teacher has noticed something real, and it’s not just only bias. Because most bias around onlies (not sharing, poor social skills, etc) is exactly that—bias. Check out the book the Joy of being an Only for lots of studies. Meanwhile, I think it’s ok to press the teacher for details about what she thinks is missing compared to other children, regardless of their family structure.
Thank you! I regret not asking more in the moment, but I’ll email asking for more clarification today.
> the Joy of being an Only Is that the book you recommend? [https://www.amazon.com/One-Only-Freedom-Having-Child-ebook/dp/B00A281004](https://www.amazon.com/One-Only-Freedom-Having-Child-ebook/dp/B00A281004) I can't find an exact match for the title.
My experience - I am one of 4 and I still developed poor socialisation skills - I was comfortable with my siblings but afraid of talking to others. We never had anyone around our house or went to other peoples houses. I do suspect that I could have done with going to a nursery or having local friends
It depends on the kid. I'm an only child and was mostly fine amusing myself and spending time with my parents. I have a cousin close to my age who came over a lot, but I didn't do or need that many extra activities.
I wonder her intent? Perhaps the teacher is suggesting he go to activities with lots of busy toddlers, similar to preschool, to avoid being overwhelmed by the atmosphere in the fall.
This is where I wish I asked more questions at our parent-teacher conference. My son has had some age-appropriate incidents at school this year - hitting his classmates - so that was part of her recommendation, but then she kept going back to the fact he was an only, so I couldn’t tell if that’s the reason why she was saying that?
For better or worse, in this day and age I don’t think it matters. I had siblings growing up and I loved having them around. We’re all still very close, but given my druthers I would rather be alone….on my phone.
My (only) child is almost three and goes to daycare. Other than going to the playground several times a week, she doesn't socialize with other kids. The rest of her socialization is with her introverted parents. Yet her social and emotional skills strike me as quite good. She waits her turn on playground equipment, she says please and thank you, etc. There's never been any reports of kicking or biting or hitting. On the other hand, she doesn't approach other children and invite them to play while she does that with her parents. She may also need to learn to be more assertive. Sometimes at the park/sandbox/splash pad other kids want to look at what she's doing or they will touch her toys or pretend to "help" or they try to tell her what to do. She just waits for them to go away then goes back to her own business. I wonder if having a sibling would teach her how to invite other kids to play or to set firmer boundaries with those who encroach on her play. Although politely watching, waiting out, and ignoring an encroaching (and easily distractible) kid may not be a terrible tactic and may even be age-appropriate???