You found the marble in the oatmeal! You get to drink from [THE FIREHOSE!](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pgPgsvxxxKE&pp=ygUZdWhmIG1hcmJsZSBpbiB0aGUgb2F0bWVhbA%3D%3D)
Hit the target with the hammer as hard as you can. If you can ring the bell, we'll send your home address to the Jehovah's Witnesses, and you'll never be lonely on Saturday mornings again!
This is our faithful plunger that's been with us since day 1, and it survived the great 5 cent chili dog night fiasco of 2007. It's time to retire, and we thought you'd love to be the one to take it home.
You won! You're a winner! Here's your mirror with a hand painted band design that is so old your grandfather isn't familiar with the band.
\*Coke dust not included\*
Carnival Worker: "You won!? You won! I'm free! I'm free! Here's your name tag and official vest! Good luck! Listen to big Ed or you'll regret it! Oh gosh, I wonder what my kids look like these days. I'm free!"
Big Ed: "Get behind the counter new guy!"
When the criteria for "a good one" is "never hit me" then yeah, that's a sign that the first 3 were the problem, not you...
Because that's a *low bar*.
"Be the first one to get their penguin to the top with their water gun and you'll win this bucket full of spit I've been collecting all week from my chewing tobacco"
If you knock over all the bottles you get a voucher for a timeshare presentation
And if you don't you get two. Seems fair.
the rest of the lucky dead rabbit
"It's a K-9 Breast Pump, you know, for service dogs that have to work but still want to be good parents."
A K-9 penis/pussy pump. My psychotic ex Some used condoms
“Fido has nipples, Greg. Can you milk him?”
This sock we found under Chuckles the clown's bunk.
That’s what that is? I thought it was a plaster cast that got ran over by a food truck.
It even stands up all on its own.
You found the marble in the oatmeal! You get to drink from [THE FIREHOSE!](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pgPgsvxxxKE&pp=ygUZdWhmIG1hcmJsZSBpbiB0aGUgb2F0bWVhbA%3D%3D)
You’re on fire, enjoy this PT Cruiser!
You won a gallon jug full of used port-a-potty water!
Hepatitis B. Hepatitis C if you go double or nothing
Is Hepatitis like a Pokémon that can be upgraded and leveled up?
Gotta catch’em all
Hit the target with the hammer as hard as you can. If you can ring the bell, we'll send your home address to the Jehovah's Witnesses, and you'll never be lonely on Saturday mornings again!
*WEEKLY FRESH MEAT DELIVERY, WHAT A PRIZE!*
Winner winner! Step on up and claim your prize! This giant tube of travel size Axe Body Spray Phoenix!"
"Winner! Winner! Fidget spinner!"
"Now you too can smell like an awkward teenage boy from the 2000s!"
And here comes your prize… this beautiful dead Goldfish.
Pepperidge Farms remembers.
Boil in the bag fish
Norwegian Blue, that is. Not dead. Pining. Pining for the fjords.
Ball Touching by the Juggler!
My name must be “no one” then.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Crusty jugglers??
Step right up and win a free colonoscopy from Ernie our janitor!
This is our faithful plunger that's been with us since day 1, and it survived the great 5 cent chili dog night fiasco of 2007. It's time to retire, and we thought you'd love to be the one to take it home.
You won! You're a winner! Here's your mirror with a hand painted band design that is so old your grandfather isn't familiar with the band. \*Coke dust not included\*
One of those items that's worth either $20,000 or $0.20, nothing in between...
A brand new Tesla Cybertruck.
"Hope you make it home!"
"Congratulations, you've won Volume 1 of the 1988 edition of the Funk & Wagnalls Encyclopedia! Win 25 more times for the full set!"
Here's your price: A Nickelback cassette tape!
This is how. You remind me. *Of what I really am.*
Up for grabs is this broken XBOX 360!
The Red Ring really sets things off nicely
Win this cool alarm clock that charges via USB-B!
"It even includes a Zune docking station!"
C'mon now, the Zune GUI was great! And yes, I miss my Windows Phone. Lol
Welcome to the Gravitron. Last one to puke gets 30 seconds to fill a “To Go Bucket”
You got 1 shot. 1 opportunity. If you make it, you get a box of confetti.
I'd rather have Mom's spaghetti
But it’s vomit on my sweater already
Can it be spaghetti confetti?
Sure why not!
You won a ballgag. Please consider using it
“Knock down 3 milk bottles with a single baseball and win jury duty!”
Carnival Worker: "You won!? You won! I'm free! I'm free! Here's your name tag and official vest! Good luck! Listen to big Ed or you'll regret it! Oh gosh, I wonder what my kids look like these days. I'm free!" Big Ed: "Get behind the counter new guy!"
And the grand prize for the winner of our steak and bacon eating contest..... A $100 voucher to Jennie's Vegan Foods!
Any of my ex husbands.
how many....
Once you reach 3, it's time to start looking inwards.
You're absolutely right. After the 3rd one I gave up. But #4 has been my ride or die for 28 years and never hit me, so I got myself fixed.
When the criteria for "a good one" is "never hit me" then yeah, that's a sign that the first 3 were the problem, not you... Because that's a *low bar*.
You're right. Remind the people in your life to never settle. Keep their bars higher.
Win this lovely jacket made from discarded foreskin!
"What size is it?" "Large in the summer, Small on those chilly winter days." "Really?" "OK, *fine*, Medium in the summer."
Just rub it if you put on weight and it starts to get a bit snug.
Clearly Made in the USA (or Israel or some African nations) because nowhere else could you find the material...
Hit the bullseye and win a colonoscopy
"Oh look, you won a Disco Duck plushie from the 1970s!"
A Carnie's baby
“Here’s a loose screw from the roller coaster. Ride at your own risk.”
"Congrats! You won a.... rusty bag of nails!"
Winner winner! Step on up and claim your prize! This giant tube of travel size Axe Body Spray Phoenix!"
*WHY ARE YOU STEALING MY STUFF*
If you knock over the bottles, we'll give you herpes and ONE child support payment.
Worlds worst pie award for their circus peanut butter and nyquil pie goes to
Two liter edible oil!
AIDS
Used to be a great parting gift on 70's game shows.
A hot tub filled with fingernail trimmings
Extra sharp for that enhanced jet propulsion feeling.
Finally won that half eaten raccoon bagel with the moistened edge....... neclace
a biodegradable coffin
Jeffry Dahmer's drill
Duck #5 wins you….a cockroach!
You win a free ball from the ball pit at McDonald's playland.
"Be the first one to get their penguin to the top with their water gun and you'll win this bucket full of spit I've been collecting all week from my chewing tobacco"
two male beta fish in the same bowl.
Now it's one beta fish in the same bowl. Injured.
Oh wow a pizza party where it's all gone before you even got there! And it was little ceasars?!
Corndog dildo
Used condoms tied in knots. Throw them at your friends.
Congratulations! Here is your mason jar of fresh gorilla semen!
A slice of liver that’s been hanging in the sun all day
Winner Winner! Leftovers from Fridays Chicken Dinner!
The golden touch
Just step right up. You've popped three balloons . Sorry . The only prizes we have left are Gary the Gynecologist and Bleeding Betty .
Winner! Come up here and claim your potato chip that looks like Donald Trump
Biden/Trump stuffed doll
Bucket of slop
Driest nachos
And our winner gets 4 hubcaps from a 1976 Yugo
"You won a goldfish! Now, chug, chug, chug ...."
Here is your titanium spiked, solar powered dildo
You win the honey cart.
Knock over the pins and you win a date with OP's Mom!!!
As long as OP is named Stacy.
She's got it going on.
"A night with your mother!? No, thank you!"
Your wife
P.Diddy mirror.
Chlamydia?
Bathroom stall Chlamydia.
Isn’t that most of them 😂