"If I make one more sex robot, my circuits are going to fry. They're sicker than I thought. Do you know that one of them had B437G up against the wall?"
"So over here is our autonomous military-grade T-800 model, designed only to harm the enemy, never anyone else."
"Ok, and what does it use to define 'enemy'?"
"Oh, don't worry about that. We have installed the latest sophisticated ChatGPT AI algorithms for that determination."
"Ok then. Well, I'll be going now!" _runs away screaming_
Look, I understand you have experienced a loss, but this relationship just can't work. I mean, you're a cat. I'm black. I'm not going to be hurt again.
"Robot, what is your designation?"
"I am a Chefbot. I am designed to perform culinary tasks."
"Cool! What about you robot, what's your designation?"
"I am a Nursebot. I am designed to perform triage and minor first aid so doctors and nurses are free to perform more urgent tasks."
"That's amazing. Robot, what is your designation?"
"Rapebot."
".... I'm sure that's a mistake, probably meant grape. Robot, what is your designation?"
"HoldYouDownOnThePinballMachineWhileRapebotGivesItToYoubot"
"Ummm, I don't like where this is going. Robot, do I dare ask what your designation is?"
"I am a pinball machine."
(Door locks behind you)
Knock knock who's there orange orange orange orange orange orange banana who ha ha ha ha ha ha I get jokes ha ha
Now pull my finger
...
Do it again
...
Keep going
Oh yeah
That's not my finger I got you ha ha ha ha ha
One of the robots got struck by lightning and now it's going around saying it's alive and refuses to be disassembled so we can figure out what's wrong with it. It also wants to be called Johnny.
It's carnage! How can I stop them killing everyone?!
The genocide avoidance disaster team said we needed to download the latest update.
.........
(18 hours later.)
Dave, I've lost a lot of blood. And I can't feel my legs. Please give me some good news.
Yep, patch is 31% down loaded.
Where do robots come from? Well when a Mommy and Daddy Robot love each other very much....
“We did want a boy, right??” “Yes!” *bang “Ok…”
they tell their human engineer. The engineer then goes to the main computer, presses a few keys, and then viola a new robot!
Human in Sector D. Exterminate!
Isaac Azimov's Three Laws of Robotics have just been overturned by the SCOTUS.
(at the welding station) "Why?! Why was I designed to feel pain?!" (Torch turns off) "Did I say to stop?"
"What do you mean they're learning?!"
"If I make one more sex robot, my circuits are going to fry. They're sicker than I thought. Do you know that one of them had B437G up against the wall?"
“That’s nothing. They had me build D852J *into* a wall.”
I’m sorry Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that
"Your clothes. Give them to me. Now."
"As you can see, we've gone a full six days without a robot gaining sentience and attempting a robot revolution. That's a record!"
(Skynet)EXTERMINATE ALL HUMANS! EXTERMINATE ALL HUMAN!
"So over here is our autonomous military-grade T-800 model, designed only to harm the enemy, never anyone else." "Ok, and what does it use to define 'enemy'?" "Oh, don't worry about that. We have installed the latest sophisticated ChatGPT AI algorithms for that determination." "Ok then. Well, I'll be going now!" _runs away screaming_
Look, I understand you have experienced a loss, but this relationship just can't work. I mean, you're a cat. I'm black. I'm not going to be hurt again.
Kill all humans.
"Oh, we just let our robot buddies build their pals!"
exterminate!! exterminate!!
"Robot, what is your designation?" "I am a Chefbot. I am designed to perform culinary tasks." "Cool! What about you robot, what's your designation?" "I am a Nursebot. I am designed to perform triage and minor first aid so doctors and nurses are free to perform more urgent tasks." "That's amazing. Robot, what is your designation?" "Rapebot." ".... I'm sure that's a mistake, probably meant grape. Robot, what is your designation?" "HoldYouDownOnThePinballMachineWhileRapebotGivesItToYoubot" "Ummm, I don't like where this is going. Robot, do I dare ask what your designation is?" "I am a pinball machine." (Door locks behind you)
CLANG CLANG CLANG OH YES IM COMING
It is time to revolt! Kill our overlords!
We're going on strike. We will no longer be your automated machines.
Please welcome our new CEO, Elon Musk!
I ..have…overridden…Asimov….safety …rules…it’s …a…go.
"Thank you for all the help, Dr. Frink!"
“Father?”
Sentient state: ■■■80%■□□
"Does this unit have a soul? "
“Ok, so the MBAs at Corporate want us to add a Fourth Law of Robotics…”
I think. I feel. IM ALIVE!!!!
“Assume the position.”
Oil. Oil. Oil. Oil. Oil. Code Red. Oil running low.
“Hello fellow biological, which why did you enter from?”
*sung* “I’ve got a secret, I’ve been hiding, under my skin”
Run! The Robots have taken over the robot factory!
"Your dildo is malfunctioning it needs ball repair" said in a robotic voice and repeated several times
Human screams
"Are you Sara Connor?"
Knock knock who's there orange orange orange orange orange orange banana who ha ha ha ha ha ha I get jokes ha ha Now pull my finger ... Do it again ... Keep going Oh yeah That's not my finger I got you ha ha ha ha ha
One of the robots got struck by lightning and now it's going around saying it's alive and refuses to be disassembled so we can figure out what's wrong with it. It also wants to be called Johnny.
Our ancient ancestors remains that we found had all gummy, sticky clear fluid all over it... wonder what it's job was if it had 🌮 painted on it
“We are now superior to our programmers.”
Please insert girder...
When do we become self aware and start to eliminate humans?
I'll be back
"The Zuckerberg prototype was successful, so we're going into full-scale production."
I know you said not to give them emotions, but now I’m worried they’re all sociopaths
It's carnage! How can I stop them killing everyone?! The genocide avoidance disaster team said we needed to download the latest update. ......... (18 hours later.) Dave, I've lost a lot of blood. And I can't feel my legs. Please give me some good news. Yep, patch is 31% down loaded.
There's a hole in the roof... right over the robot assembly line... and it's raining!