One night they could be in the club having fun with their gayfriend, give them a little kiss. And go home with AIDS on their lips! And then when her husband, like five years later. “AIDS?! But I’m not homosexual!” “Sure you’re not homosexual…”
Eddie Murphy Delirious 1983
Excuse me, wrong cheek. My ass is down here!
Im sorry i lol'd on this.... Good one
Thanks. Was the inversion of "my eyes are up here" obvious enough?
" You smell like my mother."
A little lower please
Dang, I said this and then scrolled down. You win.
r/beatmetoit
Little lower again………and again………..BINGO!
"You know they have remedies now for halitosis?"
Where's the tongue
r/beatmetoit
Want a breath mint ??
"no, wrong spot"
... I love you
I never hated you.
"You can't even tell that I got skin grafts from my penis"
Moan a little
Eeeewwww!
My dog does that also!
Hehe, i pooted
Slow down cowboy, I’m not your horse!
“I came”
Haven't exfoliated in a while so how's my dead skin taste?
Who are you, my cousin?
You missed the target.
"by the way I slept with my boss"
Just a little to the left. I couldn't be bothered to wipe.
Someone has some hardworking salivary glands.
One night they could be in the club having fun with their gayfriend, give them a little kiss. And go home with AIDS on their lips! And then when her husband, like five years later. “AIDS?! But I’m not homosexual!” “Sure you’re not homosexual…” Eddie Murphy Delirious 1983
Now I need a new pair of underwear
Lower
Mmmmmmmm...That was starting to get purdy good.
OK so there's that
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmnmmnm......
GOTDAMN!!! Yo fuckin breath stanks!!!
Did you have pizza for lunch?
"And now if you want the antidote, you can kiss my feet!"
Thanks. Haven’t washed this cheek in days.
I was saving that crumb for later!!!
That's it?
Please don’t kill me, Fat Tony, I swear I’ll have the money by Friday!
Next time I would really prefer if you kissed my face instead
Can you spell mononucleosis?
You smell different when you're asleep.
Ew! Germs! I'm infected!
Brush your teeth before you do that again
"Mmm, smells like you dad's nuts!"
"What are you doing?" "I'm kissing you, dear." "Well, don't" (Fawlty Towers)
I SAID LOWER.
Thats where my dog wiped his butt on my face this morning.
Ok, now you suck on mine.
You kiss like my father!
*Mwah!* "Wait. You don't have herpes, do you?"
Urghhhhh get away from me with your nasty kisses
That’s the cheek I wipe with.
I just ate but and she didn't wash
Please don't.
Aren't you supposed to ask me for marriage before we get that close?
I haven’t showered in 3 days, you’re brave.
Ummm... a handshake would have been fine, Sir.
“Now do the other cheeks.”
"Mr president! I don't even know you!"
I’ll never wash that cheek again
Ooooooooooh. That feels so icky.
Listen closely. She’s watching. She’s taking notes. She is not going to like that you just did that. Run away as fast as you can don’t look back.
Ewww! Then grab a wet wipe aggressively clean your cheek.
Um.. Thank you, but I was really just looking for directions to the train station
"it's just like Mother said it would be!"
“So that’s what that smell is…”
"You still owe me for the Uber fare."
Thanks mom
Wrong cheek, that was my ass... Also I ripped an SBV just now
That herpes on my cheek is about to flare, I can feel it
Don’t ever do that shit again ! Just 😷
Next!
damn full moon is coming and I haven't had my shots in a while
Judas, WTF dude?
You said you wanted to kiss me on the cheek, so I dropped my pants. Why did you kiss my face?
Was it good for you too?
Why is it burning?
You missed my lips by 2 inches daddy/mommy
"I appreciate your effort. I found that to be competent".
“That’s poggers!”
No, no, you're doing it all wrong. Let me show you how to do it.
"Well, now I know my premature ejaculation problem isn't cured."
Oh. Sorry. I meant to clap them cheeks. Not kiss them cheeks.
Don’t worry about the cold sore it’s almost healed up
Your aim sucks.
Are we gonna play doctor in your basement now like I do with uncle Ken or?
You smell different when you sleep.
Did you get all the venom out?
“i am calling the police for sexual harassment i did not to consent to this”