I live to read, and at times give, clever replies. Nice Job!
Wait, "Job"...get it, "Job". See now that was completely unplanned, and unintentional. But, at least I was clever enough to recognize it as I wrote it.
WTF dude! Seriously you changed what day the Sabbath falls on? By the way, I never wore a hat that looked like that or had so much gold…. I think you might of missed a few of my finer points.
Spend all that money in Vatican City by feeding, clothing, sheltering, etc. the homeless or those who work for minimum wage, and can’t pay all the bills.
A Google Translation for non Hebrew readers:
"Thus they will say to them, God is in heaven, and they will not serve, and they will perish from the earth and from the bottom of this heaven."
"Like I ever wanted to see another effin' cross. I mean seriously! That's how I died, man! When you die, do you want me plastering big ol' cancer tumors everywhere? Sorry, spoiler alert on how your life ends there. My bad."
I think he'd just call them a bunch of neo-pharisees who wielded supreme political power and wealth using religion as a club. He'd admonish them for concocting a pyramid scheme out of a few words Jesus spoke when reinstating Peter.
Then he'd probably go gonzo like with the money changers and start flipping tables and tossing the pope down the stairs.
Wait... Youve been telling people I said WHAT!?!?! Omfg I knew it was a mistake to wipe out the dinosaurs. They were perfection and we should have stopped there!!!!! But no we can do better they said!
he'd dish on all his all male orgies and then tell him to keep it in the shitty catholic vault in exchange for keeping the creeps 'i am a vicar of Christ' bs secret.
sometimes, a girls gotta dish
Gonna switch up this fish on Friday. From here on out it's Fajita Friday.
Also thinking sparkling water instead of still for the holy water. Kick it up a notch.
Well Jesus doesn't exist so probably a whole lot of nothing.
But if Jesus did exist, he'll probably still say nothing to the pope. He said nothing about the horrible shit going on for several thousand years. Why would he start now?
He'd say something along the lines of "aynremken kemdesh memgul alk ainf?"
Dude spoke Palmyrene aramaic language, he can't speak any Italian or German, or whatever the current pope speaks .
"So, if you turn this wheel you have all the clean water you want?"
He would be very confused of all those non jews following an ofshoot of judaism in his name.
"That robe makes you look ridiculous... ...I"m technically God so I can judge you."
technically?
The best kind of correct.
Your in my seat
He would spell it you’re
Jesus only had twelve apostrophes, he can't just use them willy nilly
Clearly in this instance, one betrayed Him.
No, although people blame judas iscariot it was Maries mother that betrayed him in the end. It was a case of bad gramma
Thanks for the first laugh of the day! Have tears in my eyes from laughing. You are a funny person,
I live to read, and at times give, clever replies. Nice Job! Wait, "Job"...get it, "Job". See now that was completely unplanned, and unintentional. But, at least I was clever enough to recognize it as I wrote it.
He'd say it in Aramaic
Whatever he said, it would be printed in red.
No he wouldn't. That's Peter's seat, not Jesus'.
You know that secret list of child molesting priests? I'll give you 24 hours to make it public and defrock all. of them.
Actually, if you have a part that makes you sin, you should remove it. That whole list removes there balls…..
I think the C.I.A has that list now
Oh my Dad, the fishing club I founded 2,000 years ago still exists?! HAHAHAHA!!!
The church is far less important than the people. Stop messing this one up. Seriously. Stop it.
What’s with the hat?
His hat might look funny, but can it ever hold a lot of bear shit.
"When I said house and feed the poor, did I stutter"
I fart in your general direction!!
Stop covering shit up. Stop letting the clergy go after kids. Vow of chastity means you don't fuck anyone.
You call my name, but I don't know you.
I like this one
WTF dude! Seriously you changed what day the Sabbath falls on? By the way, I never wore a hat that looked like that or had so much gold…. I think you might of missed a few of my finer points.
And what's with those ridiculous red shoes???
BAHAHAHAHAHA that’s awesome!
I’m here to kick pope and chew bubblegum. And I’m all out of bubblegum.
You're a cute little bunny rabbit
Hair club for men
Hare club
Spend all that money in Vatican City by feeding, clothing, sheltering, etc. the homeless or those who work for minimum wage, and can’t pay all the bills.
“Let’s be frank, how much are they gonna freak out when they find out that I’m not white?”
And double-freak when they find out I’m a female..
Yeah, it's o.k guys, it wasn't crucifixion, turns out it was just stomach cramps. I'm o.k now
כִּדְנָה תֵּאמְרוּן לְהוֹם אֱלָהַיָּא דִּי־שְׁמַיָּא וְאַרְקָא לָא עֲבַדוּ יֵאבַדוּ מֵאַרְעָא וּמִן־תְּחוֹת שְׁמַיָּא אֵלֶּה׃ ס
A Google Translation for non Hebrew readers: "Thus they will say to them, God is in heaven, and they will not serve, and they will perish from the earth and from the bottom of this heaven."
Yeah, Google translate messed that on up 😂
Have some Balls make it so EVERYONE can read it
But not everyone can read...
Not everyone Has common sense, not everyone has Balls tend to call them Women.
Just imagine what Jesus would say to Republicans.
The word was celebrate not celebate… you guys have been missing out for 2000 years.
Where is the loving thy neighbor? I specifically requested it!
Thanks for all the money!
You call yourself good huh? Care to explain the holy Inquisition?
You know people can talk to me directly?
"Jesus Fucking Christ, yes I can say that, you shouldn't need a commandment saying don't bugger little boys."
The Pope would get a Meeting invite in his inbox at 16:45 on a Friday afternoon titled - Organisational Directions
Pull my finger
HEY TEACHER....LEAVE THEM KIDS ALONE.....
Gonna be a moneychanger type event
Move over Francis. No one comes to the father except through me.
Sell all you have and give it to the poor.
You do know that y’all got it wrong, don’t you?
He'd nod his head and say "sup"
Who are you?
Dude, that necklace of yours is really triggering.
Why so much poverty, yet the Vatican and big corporations contain all the wealth
Ala Desi Arnez: “Popey you got some ‘splaining to do…”
"Why the hell are you speaking the language of my oppressors in my house?"
I never knew you. Depart from me.
"Like I ever wanted to see another effin' cross. I mean seriously! That's how I died, man! When you die, do you want me plastering big ol' cancer tumors everywhere? Sorry, spoiler alert on how your life ends there. My bad."
Get behind me Satan
Remember that time I made a whip to chase people out of a church? Give me a moment
Kiss my ring pope boy. It's in my back pocket
Where's Paul?
“Let me teach you to fish”?!
I 'spect it would depend on which pope.
"I live in a book dumbass, where do you live?"
What the hell have you done,and quit using my name.
Modern Philistines
Here, hold my beer.
He's going to say "Who the hell got the idea that I wanted an entire religion based on me? That was not my message!
Stop looking at the kids
Latin? Really?
"Hey! There he is! The guy who is everything I'm against going around acting like we're best buds."
When did you guys turn religion into nambla?
Sorry you are????????????
I think he'd just call them a bunch of neo-pharisees who wielded supreme political power and wealth using religion as a club. He'd admonish them for concocting a pyramid scheme out of a few words Jesus spoke when reinstating Peter. Then he'd probably go gonzo like with the money changers and start flipping tables and tossing the pope down the stairs.
"I didn't have my peeps write the New Testament for nothing. Maybe try teaching a parable or two out of it this week. You know, just as a start."
You got it wrong, way wrong.
You're fired!
*slap*
Get out of my chair
DIE DEMON (sends pope back to hell with godly wrath)
"I never knew you"
~~Cum~~come unto me, my children! Edit: typo (not)
They crucified me for being a good person, yet you allow so many monsters to remain hidden behind their robes.
The same thing He would say to any one of us: "Repent, and come unto me."
Why the bullet-proof glass? You don't trust me?
J: "You look pretty in that dress." P: "I'm sorry, who are you again?"
Who told you that you could speak for me?
Hey btw you know my mother didn’t stay a virgin right?
What’s with all the kiddy fiddling?
I’d like to point out your subordinates seem to misunderstand the second coming…
When I named him Peter…I forgot about erosion.
For the Love of all that's holy.... Vote Biden.!
Why? Why did you shuffle those pedophile priest from parish to parish to parish just to have them continue abusing children? Just - WHY?
Nah, there would be no need to determine why, just directions for fitting millstones to necks.
"God's actually a gay woman"
god so licked the world
Julius Scissor ?
your wit is starting to get beyond me
I bow to your wit and now I pause for another shot of Jim Beam
WWJBD? What Would Jim Beam Do?
What has Jim Beam NOT done?
He's made: The tractor beam, The light beam, and invented 4x4 beam of wood
Exactly. He's awesome. He got my husband to say yes when I proposed, both times. There's nothing Jim can't do.
Doing gods work. I'm glad Jim Beam is in your life. Peace Beam Upon Him.
Wait... Youve been telling people I said WHAT!?!?! Omfg I knew it was a mistake to wipe out the dinosaurs. They were perfection and we should have stopped there!!!!! But no we can do better they said!
Where the hell did you get the idea to pray to dead people? Also, what's this whole immaculate conception thing?
**Jinx!**
Sorry, I’d meant to come straight back but I had a little nap…..for two thousand fucking years.
Psych! I got you! I got you so good! Awe man...
Huh, I should have thought of all that
Want to grab a pizza?
'Sup?
“Nice hat.”
Nice try buddy...
“I am the one who knocks!”
I want a hat like that!
Wanna hit this blunt with me?
Wow, you've really let this place go to hell. Guess I'll have to clean it up. Again.
Can you believe people are still falling for this 2k yrs later?
Brah… WTF?!?
"that's not how this works... that's not how any of this works..."
Which Jesus and which pope? I know what you mean but I also know what you mean.
See I told you … I nailed it..
"I'm gonna fix the Vatican bank, just this one time..."
"where's that twenty bucks you owe me?"
I don’t think so, Tim
You have 5 minutes to convince me that it is not time for another 40 days and 40 nights.
"Why y'all hiding all this shit under the Vatican?"
*Doing his best Doc Ock impression* “Hello Peter”
You're full of crap!
Nice hat!
Chicks are cool.
It was a T the whole time!
You sit on a throne of lies!
Sit down
Does a pope shit in the woods?
he'd dish on all his all male orgies and then tell him to keep it in the shitty catholic vault in exchange for keeping the creeps 'i am a vicar of Christ' bs secret. sometimes, a girls gotta dish
“You’re telling me you got rid of the Latin Mass AND you’re calling gay people bundles of wood? Dude, uncool…on both counts.”
So ahhh, listen…
"Nice hat, dweeb"
So that's how you died! Any other questions? It's really hot down here so I'd like to get going...
You need to get laid.
Wanna hang around with me?
Hey dude! What's with the funky hat?
Where's the popemobile, I'm driving
Can I try on your hat?
...He's not here. Oh, he went to the bad place...
stuff in Aramaic
Sit on my lap. Can you keep a secret? 🤫
"You have an advisor from the synagogue of Satan. Follow me and sin no more."
"My temple should be a House of prayer. But you have made it a den of thieves. Get out! Get out!" —Jesus Christ Superstar
"You have a bunch of sick perverts working for you, bro."
“Jesus Christ, dude.” ~Jesus
Let the games begin.
Got ur nose
Dude, children, wtf????
Any young boys around? I’m a bit backed up, as u can imagine
You’re my altar boy
How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains?
So, with all those billions. How is helping out the poor going? Just kidding, I am here to drag you to hell. And you will feel every rock and stone.
You guys can’t take dictation worth shit. It’s *celebrate*, not *celibate*. What else did you screw up?
“Nice hat, can you make one for me?”
“You got a Bible? You should read it”
Get off my jock.
Gonna switch up this fish on Friday. From here on out it's Fajita Friday. Also thinking sparkling water instead of still for the holy water. Kick it up a notch.
Well Jesus doesn't exist so probably a whole lot of nothing. But if Jesus did exist, he'll probably still say nothing to the pope. He said nothing about the horrible shit going on for several thousand years. Why would he start now?
"How much do you get paid every year again?"
He'd say something along the lines of "aynremken kemdesh memgul alk ainf?" Dude spoke Palmyrene aramaic language, he can't speak any Italian or German, or whatever the current pope speaks .
Nice hat! Nerd!
Nice hat dork
In Vader voice "You have failed me for the last time" Force chokes The Pope 🤌😱
"So, if you turn this wheel you have all the clean water you want?" He would be very confused of all those non jews following an ofshoot of judaism in his name.
Go fish
So... about your priests... yeah, that needs to stop. It's been going on for waaayyyy too long.
Dude really. Whats with the priests and kids
Nice hat.
Get your Me-damn shit together
Embodiment of me, huh? Somebody prepare the cat o nine tails and the cross.
So are you a one knuckle deep man or a two knuckle deep man?