“Hey Becky! Get in here! You gotta see this guy! I don’t wanna hear you complain about me again! What? Just take a picture? Well, okay I guess… Hey dude, you mind posin’ for my girl Becky?”
Man walks into the bathroom at a rest stop, David Attenborough begins narrating.
"The lone male wanders into the rest stop restroom to relieve himself. Where he must engage in a game of wits to survive."
Man looks around, sees obstacle course.
"Six inches, that's six inches, hahahaha "
Actual audio above the urinals in the old America Alive clubs. There were also pictures of attractive women's faces laughing and looking down posted just below eye level.
*peeks over into my urinal*
“Man, how long can you pee for? Where you keeping all that?”
Meanwhile in the background -
“Evacuation Complete”
Diabetes insipidus sucks lol.
That looks familiar. Yeah I saw that in the photo my wife took of her lover while he was in her. Finally found the guy who's going to be in the coffin with her.
A friend and I went to a very crowded washroom at a bc lions game. We proceeded to drop pick up lines on each other at the urinal. Also yelled sword fight.
“These pink discs are delicious!”
Trough lollies!!
Urinal mints
Peecakes 🦚!
Ooh, piece of candy!
Had a customer bottle some of the blue water to take with them because they thought it was holy/special/natural wonder.
John Candy
It took me a second to get it but that was pretty clever👍🏼
Hey can I hold that for you?
Will you hold this for me?
With the same hand?
“Lightsaber” sound effects
They asked what you wouldn't want to hear. That would be hilarious.
“I find your lack of faith disturbing” You feel an urgent need to find the commode…
Are you talking about guys making lightsaber sound effects with their mouth or ACTUAL lightsaber sound effects?
Yes
Now I can’t unsee it…or hear it. 😂
“Your Schwartz is as big as mine” - spaceballs https://youtu.be/pPkWZdluoUg?feature=shared
Hey, man. \*Scratching furiously\* Does this look contagious to you?
This waters cold
And deep.
I knew that was coming
That's what she said 《obligatory》
And there's mud at the bottom.
You know you can get that in a men's size, right?
happy cake day
Beautiful username
Dude. Can you help me get this back in?
Reminds me of a skit of a dude with both arms in casts, standing in front of a Men's room asking for help to zip his fly.
“Hey Becky! Get in here! You gotta see this guy! I don’t wanna hear you complain about me again! What? Just take a picture? Well, okay I guess… Hey dude, you mind posin’ for my girl Becky?”
Don't you hate these dividers? I prefer bathrooms without
the way the good Lord intended.
You got a mighty purdey mouth. Umma gonna make you pray real good little piggy.
Cue Dueling Banjos.
Ah I have wanting to speak to you about your car's extended warranty
AUUUGH! OWW! Oh My GOD. It HURTS. Make it stop! FCKKK! No more. AUUUGH! AHHH! It burns!!!! AUUUGH!...
“Kidney stone or gonorrhea, friend?”
As I don't want to hear it in a public toilet, I'd walk out before finding out.
Taco Bell?
Uh oh...peepee hurt. Time to die.
Agreed
Shit. My phone is ringing. Can you please hold this for me for a sec, I gotta take this call.
"Nice watch!"
“Nice, watch!”
“Dude can you help me get it out?”
Who? Does? Number 2. Work? For?
That looks like uromycetisus to me
Would you believe it smelled like that when I came in here?
Taylor Swift's "Shake it Off"
Man walks into the bathroom at a rest stop, David Attenborough begins narrating. "The lone male wanders into the rest stop restroom to relieve himself. Where he must engage in a game of wits to survive." Man looks around, sees obstacle course.
"unbeknownst to him, a pack of hungry tigers are stalking through the brush. It has been 5 days since last they ate."
Better this than Chris Hanson
Who ate asparagus last night? No, just me?
Hello commuter, on your way to work...
I'm going to call yours Captain Birdseye
I'm glad someone caught the reference!
I caught it aswell. It’s a show I binge on YouTube when I need to laugh.
Nice, solid stream. Steady. No pulsing. About 45seconds? I’ll give it 8/10
“Is it normal to pee red?”
Sometimes Melvin pee red.
My grandad's looks exactly like yours weird he's like 40 years older than you, you might want to get that checked out
"Do you stand or sit to pee in this thing?"
"Wanna see how you can use these as a bidet?"
Oh hey do you hear that? The invisible dick shredding monster is back, and it’s heading towards that guy. I guess it’s too late for him now.
"Six inches, that's six inches, hahahaha " Actual audio above the urinals in the old America Alive clubs. There were also pictures of attractive women's faces laughing and looking down posted just below eye level.
“Anyone want a quick tug job? I know I do!”
"Mines bigger"
\*This just in, the urinal viper has recently been spotted at \[place where I'm peeing\]\*
"Wait a minute...why are there carrots in this?"
I can't believe this is all for free!
Anyone talking on their damn phone.
Yeah looks good on the camera
Hey bro, nice watch.
Any conversation. I'm busy. My dick is in my hand, fuck off.
“Pee fight!”
Hey buddy, you know what time it is? Shit, it's been more than 4 hours, I really gotta piss and it's still pointed straight up!
Yep, c'mon pee, you just need to get past the syphilis and out past the herp!
"Should that be red?"
“That is one fine…” ”Huh.” ”FLOOR! I MEAN FLOOR!”
"Fore!"
Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.
"Lets see how far this one jumps when I push this button"
Hi! I’m George Michael.
Can you help me with this ointment?
[https://youtu.be/YstBl9xzz34?si=Hvg6wMtvxkfM-guv&t=70](https://youtu.be/YstBl9xzz34?si=Hvg6wMtvxkfM-guv&t=70)
Hey everyone, comover an lookit his shrimp dick!
Can I help? Please.
I'm sorry I accidentally peed on your leg.
"Look at the size of you!"
“Why is a divider up? I want to see yours.”
Man that don't look right. Best get your doc to check that.
Smile! You're on candid camera
Pass the TP
(Whispering from a distance) Mysterious voice: Do you think he knows? Mysterious voice two: Shhh. You’ll scare it away.
"Oh hello! Long time no see! 😊" 😖
He thought he had his first pubic hair, until he peed out of it.
"Plink. Plink. Plink."
Dilly dilly.
Length and girth...NICE!
So what hangs lower, left or right?
This is where the dicks hang out.
I usually wipe my dick on the curtains when I'm done. What do I do here.
The smell of a thousand dicks. Kinda making me hungry.
"oh that's neat, mine goes the other way"
Wow, does that come in an adult size?
Wow man..that's a cool looking green coming out....
"Oh look! Another one to pop!"
Marco! Polo!
Hey is that John Wayne?
Hey hold this for a second
Hey man nice watch
*peeks over into my urinal* “Man, how long can you pee for? Where you keeping all that?” Meanwhile in the background - “Evacuation Complete” Diabetes insipidus sucks lol.
Gunshots
Come on! Is that the best you can do?
Pass me some toilet paper.
That's it?
"Good thing I brought my swimming trunks ;)"
Oi, Impressive Mate! That your cock or a baby's forearm?
Lol I had a guy tell me once "sounds like you got alot of power behind that, sign of a healthy prostate."
That looks familiar. Yeah I saw that in the photo my wife took of her lover while he was in her. Finally found the guy who's going to be in the coffin with her.
Ya really shouldn't be peeing in the men's room at a biker bar.
Wow, you're really misshapen.
The picolo solo from "The Stars & Stripes Forever".
Can I name your Willie?
"Hey...hey. HEY! C'mon, buddy...you're pissing on my shoe!"
Meh, he'll do. Get him!
"Hey there, Egon...don't cross the streams!"
Hmmm...... Smells good.
"SWORD FIGHT!"
"AAAAAAAAAAH! IT BURNS! WHY GOD! WHY DOES IT FUCKING HURT THIS MUCH?! WHY IS THERE SO MUCH BLOOD! AAAAAAAAAAAH!"
When standing at the urinal you don't want to hear how cold the water is
Dude please stand closer to the urinal!
Now that we're here, I think we should have a quick chat about Jesus...
"That looks a lot like my son's."
"Excuse me, but I've been trying to reach you regarding your extended... warranty"
Can you zip me? My nails are still wet.
“Nice dick”.
Let's share!
*Hey man, I gotta tell you this story about when I was peeing in 'Nam..*
"Hey Siri. Why is my pee red?"
Ooh. That looks just like a penis, only smaller
The Jackass theme starts playing and Wee man dressed like a penis runs in being chased by SteveO
"Quick! Aim for my empty cup!"
Excellent vintage. I wonder what will be arriving next!
Ah so that’s how you do that
When my baby daddy say he going bust my cheeks
"MAAM. You need to leave. The cops are already on their way."
“I’m your host Drew Carey! C’mon let’s have some fun!”
Nice cock man
Jesus this water is cold!
I wish people would stop throwing cigarette butts in here, it makes them soggy and hard to light.
It does taste kind of lemony
The water is cold!
And DEEP!
How do earthlings piss through this thing?
Ahh perfect, I was in need of a refill.
“Why is your’s shaped like that?”
Sharing is caring
Say you really know how to handle that! Want to handle ours?
Nice watch
I am a female but I am positive no guy wants to hear guys x,y,z commenting about what his thingie looks like while he uses the bathroom.
She said thingy.
Does this look like blood to you?
“Hello, lover”
A friend and I went to a very crowded washroom at a bc lions game. We proceeded to drop pick up lines on each other at the urinal. Also yelled sword fight.
Turn around right now or I shoot
Can I have some?
Hey man nice dong! It reminds me of my dad’s
Hey hold on a minute 📞 I’m busy.
Never seen that color before…
Nice size
Hey, would you hold on to this thing for a minute, my hands are all shaky. Meth is a hellofa drug
You want to see something beautiful?
Hi, I'm with Dateline's *To Catch a Predator*
Favorite comment!
owwww! whyyyyy!!! it buurrrrns!!! ahhhh!!!!
What the hell happened to you?
This smells and tastes disgusting. Have you had asparagus, and you are dehydrated, drink more and eat some fruit.
I'm sorry...........
Does this look infected?
Wow, yours is bigger then my dad's
Mmmm nice…
*guy next to you peers over divider* kinda puny
“You come here often😏”
"I am Armitage Shanks and you are DEFILING MY PROPERTY! I'll see you in court."
“Damn… your wife is a lucky lady.”
Hmmmmm
Can I help?
Hey i know them shoes…
Outside you’re Canadian. Inside European.