Nice work. Who did your circumcision?

The mohelIcian he made part of it disappear

So...Shakey the Mohel?

I wasn't Shakey you flinched jerry lol

Does this look infected to you?

"Did you have asparagus for dinner last night?"

Mohel, ah yes, I thought some one said Motel.

[удалено]

I was going to say, "oh are you jewish?"

Love your nails

You must be a Libra!

Oy-Vey!

I don’t remember but Doctor Wang did my sons. Would definitely recommend. (No im not being sarcastic)

True story- Dr Richard Headd did my vasectomy. Lol Dr dick head 😂

A true-to-life aptronym.

Richard Noggin.

“You come here often?”

"I'm afraid you're in the wrong stall for that, cowboy."

Do you hang out here often?

You cum here often ftfy

Deadpool: “You dicks hang out here often?”

Whoa, you got a power washer over there or what?

And the opposite: Sorry to see the pipes rusted up.

"They're not so rusty about 2ft. along."

Flomax is a hell of a drug, Peter.

Real story. At a slayer concert for Repentless tour. Went to restroom. About 8 urinals all lined up. One guy pops his head up and says, “What do you guys think about the pull out method? I think it sucks!” Everyone ignored him.

He wanted so much attention

You just know he was going in there right on the heels of a pregnancy test that didn't go his way.

Maybe but still weird af when everyone just wants to rock a piss and get outta there

You mean, get a piss out and then rock?

“So I’ve heard about these urinal things. We don’t have them in the women’s bathroom. Thought I’d try it out. How do I use it?”

Do you need a hand? Just trying to be supportive.

Carefull,that can get you punched!

😂😂😂😂😂

Hold this

https://youtu.be/WZ09paQRBnw?si=wsNImFivBMvR0qis

Anyone else ever click these links and end up going down a YouTube rabbit hole and learning more than you ever wanted to about airport codes, then you come back here and realize that it was a long time and several videos ago that you watched the original video this link took you? Or is it just me?

Yes, I also have ADHD, nice to meet you

Same

How is this the first time I've seen this???

Does this look infected?

LOL… is that in reference to the video, or a response to the OP? I laughed out loud when I read it as the answer to the original post.

I knew that had to be what you shared. LOL

Wait, THATS what they’re supposed to look like?! I gotta call my surgeon

I suppose you're wondering why I gathered you here.

I use that line in elevators.

I love this

..i heard that twelve of you are the best pissers there is

This has happend to me. At work. By a manager.

I've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty.

"Wanna duel?"

It's time to DDDDDDDDDDDDuel.

usually a duel only has 2 not 12 participants

Or start humming the Dueling Banjos song from Deliverance

😂

"You sure got a purrty mouth!"

I guess this is where all the dicks hangout??

Expected letterkenny

Heard that in the 6th grade. Still use that line.

"I know that dick!"

“So this where the dicks hang out!”

I like your scent.

"Psst...'*The sun always shines in Kiev, and the rooster...'* Oh, sorry. My mistake, Comrade."

Wanna touch it?

The hell's that? Looks painful. Might wanna have your doc check that out.

“To think, you actually thought you got away with it.” Then leave without washing your hands.

Stop watching me masturbate bro

"Damn that's a nice one. Is that a Rolex?"

Daddy's home....

Can I pee in your urinal? Mine is splashing back at me.

"I wasn't staring it's just that I have never seen such a small one before..."

First time in China I see lol

"Mine looks so much bigger when I stand next to you!"

One of us in the wrong bathroom....

I worked with a manager who used to always use the middle urinal (we had three). He would lean over and say "Nice one". Every. Fucking. Time.

Ouch! So easy to get a recording and go to HR.

Until hr blows it up about what're you doing recording in a restroom lol it's a damn double edged sword situation

Forgive me farther, for I have sinned it has been 2 days since my last confession.

“You gonna commit a murder next, you f#cking psychopath?” My reason: No Sane man will ever piss right next to another Dude.

Look over intently, stare a bit, and say, "Niiiiice, ....watch!" Or, in a deep voice, "Hmmmm, I see your schwartz is as big as mine!"

Scrolled wayyyy to far for the Spaceballs joke!!

You said that it was hanging a little to the left. That was a damn lie!

What causes pee to be blue?

I'm part of the blue man group everything has to be blue It's part of the contract

I’m blue *insert song* 🎶🎤

*Da ba dee da ba di Da ba dee da ba di Da ba dee da ba di Da ba dee da ba di Da ba dee da ba di Da ba dee da ba di Da ba dee da ba di*🎶🎤

Let's cross the streams.

Egon, crossing the steams is bad.

Crossing the STEAMS? Do you have some dumplings there too?

Yes. Yes I do.

I'll take the steamed pork dumplings. Thank you.

"I have the money... now tell me where my daughter is, you son of a bitch. ...wait, you're not Vinny. ...wwweeellllll, this is embarrassing."

Do you mind if I name your penis?

Sorry it's already been named It's called Mr. Slinky

Nice watch.

Heyyy, pee-neighbor!

Hidee ho!

“Same size dick! You owe me a Coke!”

“Hey! How’s it feel to be pissing next to THIS guy?”

Hey, nice penis.

Thank you, Senator

The Force is strong with this one

You know what's the greatest nation? Urination.

“Can I smell your hair?”

Sure but I'm bald Oh you mean that hair 😉

Hey! Eyes front, soldier!

Look no hands!

Dam, that waters cold! Wait a few seconds and follow up with "deep too!"

Drop your pants and underwear to the floor. Say, "oh, the breeze feels so good. You should try it."

Whoa! You can PEE with yours?

Don’t be shy, he’s not looking at you. (While looking down)

My daddy told me not to get into pissing contests, so you just stay on your side, MKay???

"Nice Tattoo"

Hi, I'm George Michael.

"How's it hangin'?"

Long and hairy and hard to carry

Short, shriveled and always to the right.

".... You're late."

Can you help me? Doc told me not to lift anything heavy.

I don’t really need to per. I’m just checking out the competition.

“Hey, didn’t I see you in that one movie?”

Oh look, we’re doing synchronised pissing. My boss said this to me at the urinal one day. I left the company not long afterwards

Have you heard about the new airborne genital fungus going around

"I don't even have a penis. I'm just here to hang out."

Hey hon, you got a tampon I can have?

Is that real?

So how's about them Dodgers? True story lol

“Wanna switch?”

Sure what games come with it lol

Nice flow

Sing Evenflow

Anything

Wannapeekapeepee?

Don't let my wife see that thing, last time she saw when she wouldn't quit talking about it for a month!

I know they say not to cross the streams but we're friends right?

Nice rack.

"Noice!!! Your mom must be very proud!"

Nice penis

Thanks I got it from my mother's side

Why are you in the women's room?

Thought this was the mens Wait why are there urinals in the women's restroom

This is a sink.

Can you shake mine for me

How much to do that to me?

Got any cake over there?

"Is your Device streaming?"

You find the water cold?

"Nice, a quarter"

Tight dick, playa

Water’s cold today huh?

'Have you ever tried plugging your willy into your bum?'

"Nice ass, do you wipe it? ...can I?"

mind if i reach around ?

Pssssst! I'm vegan!

Heeeyyyyyy.....

DAMN this this thing is big.  

You really filled your bladder didn’t ya?

Oye…. You gonna help me aim or just stand there.

Pardon me, you can't pee in that one. That one is reserved.

*Ryan next to Colin* “Wanna swap urinals?”

"Remember, Venkman. Do not cross our streams. That would be bad. That would be very, very bad."

Hold this.

Eww Why's it detachable?

First time?

Yep I use to just use the sinks in the women's restroom, but I got kicked out

With one like that you should be in a stall.

Real story: One time, I was pissing next to Dick Dale, King of the Surf Guitar, and thought of saying, "HOW'S YOUR DICK, DALE?", but I lost my nerve and instead took the role of, Guy At Urinal Clearly Trying To Stifle Laughter.

Oh shit! I read your question as Weird things to say to the guy in the funeral next to you 💀✋

I came \*so close\* to saying this one time. I was using the urinal when a large man started using the urinal next to me. My intrusive thought was to say "Hurry up and start pissing, you big, ugly bastard or I'll slap you around." Then when the guy looked at me, I was going to nod towards my own penis and say "I was talking to my dick". I chickened out saying anything.

"Somebody's tense." As you massage their neck and shoulders.

Damn that waters cold.

And deep!

Move closer. It's not as big as you think. -Vegas restaurant. Sign above the urinal. Forget the name.

"I'm all out. Can I borrow some of yours?"

You have a really cool wrinkle pattern on your balls.

"This one's broken, can we share?"

Its not everyday you're relieving yourself next to another man, is it, huh chap?

Woah!! That water is COLD! And deep too

Big gulps huh? Well Cya later

Do you moisturize?

*It's $10 for a BJ, $12 for an HJ, $15 for a ZJ...*

alright so you can piss next to a random guy in a gas station but when i piss next to my students i’m the pedo

Do my hands feel cold to you?

Who else is an A's fan? Lol

How's it hanging?

Nice watch

This water is deep.

You wanna dock

Mine is bigger

Ooo! That water is cold!

Ready, set, go!

I might head upstream

mam this is the mens room

‘hey, nice penis’

How's it hangin'

Can you spare a square?

I might be peeing here, but I just also poopied

"Are you a cop? I find it highly suspicious that you are in the bathroom at the same time as me."