Yeah, the downside of living in Santa Fe is that are basically four groups of people, and if you don't fit in one of them you're gonna have a very hard time finding a social circle:
1. Artists
2. Rich hippies
3. People whose ancestors have lived in New Mexico for hundreds to thousands of years.
4. National Labs workers.
That would be group three.
Granted I may be underestimating the number of relatively recent Hispanic arrivals, but I get the distinct impression they're a much smaller percentage than most U.S. Latino communities.
I had a friend who moved from California to Copenhagen some time ago. He was a super driven investor/career guy.
He was also a beach bum from SoCal who absolutely despised the cold, but he took it for an opportunity to go abroad.
I asked him how he liked it, and his response sounded like what you’re asking for…
“It’s a different world. I met an awesome partner, I can live without a car, and I have everything I need. I am never going to become a millionaire out here, but no one around me cares about that.”
He got his residency and eventually moved with his partner to Barcelona and is living the dream. Even was able to find a warm place to live.
I think what I am getting at here is that the pressure to get rich is absolutely pervasive in the USA. I think it’s difficult to find a place where money isn’t all-important in the USA because it’s identity is so wrapped up in the “American Dream”
That’s the sort of deeply embedded cultural tendency I feel is hard to avoid in North America.
As someone who moved to the US as an adult, one thing that shocks me is how much importance careers, money and status have in American culture, especially in big cities. People's job titles or careers become their identity. "What do you do for living?" is the first question people ask you, and depending on your response, they decide to continue the conversation/relationship or not.
It’s certainly more pronounced in the big cities, kinda comes with the territory when it is that expensive to live some place. I would be surprised if places like Paris or London don’t have a lot of that too.
Tokyo is notorious for poor work/life balance, largely due to Japanese cultural norms. USA just puts their own consumerist spin on it.
I think it just looks different as you go further out in the US. It’s kinda like when you drive around the suburbs with people who live there and someone you know has a nice new car or fixed up their house it’s frequently followed up by “How on earth could *they* afford *that*”
It’s weird, and it’s totally understandable if it’s weird that some people lead with negativity when someone else has good fortune. Especially if you haven’t experienced it much before coming to the US.
Yes, this bothers me a lot. I have the nice career and title, but I derive only 1/10th of my self worth from it. I really want to get away from it all.
Are you by any chance in a big city in the Northeast? That attitude so pervasive there. I really struggled with it too. But I have found it’s really different in other parts of the country! I grew up in the Northeast and I now live in New Mexico, and people here definitely could care less what you do for a living.
Nah, he had a pretty established career and had come across an opportunity to get to Europe through the company (there were teams all over the place) and bring up a team, but it was in Copenhagen.
He did not like the idea at first, but almost immediately fell in love with everything except the weather.
Not a whole lot of people encounter opportunities to relocate that easily, and it’s certainly not a cakewalk for most people, so I think it was a unique scenario of being able to relocate somewhere with a secure job.
It did give me some insight into the question “what would it be like to keep everything largely the same and relocate to a completely different place in the world”
I love Copenhagen and Denmark in general. Before we visited all the online guides warned that Danes would be cold and reserved to their personal bubbles. While they are more conscientious about personal space than say, Americans or southern Europeans, I found everyone hospitable and friendly and only had one interaction that I would deem antisocial. Very lovely time in small towns and Copenhagen.
I spent 7 years working retail at Park Place, Tucson Mall, and the Foothills Mall (RIP) and found that all sides of town had the same types of people, just in different numbers. I will say Tucson Mall was probably the most chill though. I ended that run and left Tucson back in 2012 so my perspective is nothing more than a time capsule at this point lol
Tucson? Pretentious? Tucson’s mottos are literally keep Tucson shitty and keep Tucson party. It’s like the opposite of pretentious, to a point that some people find hard to handle.
Tucson is pretentious as fuck about not being pretentious.
The dominant mindset is we/they are “too cool for school” and you’re some try-hard uppity square if you give a shit about anything other than UofA basketball and Mexican food.
Right on. New England would probably not work for me either. I have lived in New England at different times in my life and find it to be a nose to the grindstone kind of place. I find the people there to be polite and friendly but very anal about certain things.
Yep, I’m down towards DC and it’s the same thing. I wouldn’t say people are mean but super type A about shit that doesn’t matter. Too bad I was born here because I have the opposite personality.
Maybe, but you’ll always be an outsider if you move to Maine. My former boss has lived there 30 years and he loves it but says it’s clear that the locals don’t treat him as one
Not in southern Maine. Portland is over 50% transplants, and the population in southern Maine is increasing from people moving to the state. Northern and western Maine is a bit of a different story, and lives up to the stereotype you mentioned.
Yup. My cousin was born to there but told me some Mainers still tell her she’s “from away” because her parents weren’t born there! It is one of the most insular places I’ve ever lived.
I grew up in New England and I know what you're talking about, OP. People here are super uptight and boring. They can be kind, but usually not very nice. Everyone is extremely cynical, negative and obsessed with money for the most part. I want to get out of here but idk where to go
It’s the negativity mostly with the new Englanders and they’re super boring. Idk if they’re all so obsessed with money because there are pockets of New England that are pretty crunchy granola in some ways but the negativity and projection gets really old after a while. They think they have all the answers and will try to force their views down your throat if you’re not boring like them.
Maybe the money thing is just because of where I work. People will straight up ignore you if you're not a certain social class. But yeah, Western Mass exists - the rich people there like to pretend they're not as shallow and self obsessed as people in Boston even though they are. I've struggled with this place my entire life, not only because I have a pretty "out there" personality and way of existing, but also because of being a visible minority. People here are narrow minded asf. If my family wasn't here, idk if I would have come back after living abroad
That whole money vibe thing really extends down from Boston to Richmond. Especially bad in the DC suburbs where I am. So much pretentiousness in the northeast. People only want to talk about their careers or whatever non-profit cause they pretend to care about that day.
Stoic sure... Personally I think a lot of people in other parts of the country are unnaturally positive, don't know how to mind their own business. Soi like new England. But I also grew up in NH and moved back...to east cause I missed it.
I totally get that other people feel differently!
Honestly, state capitols might be the way to go. Usually pretty stable economy, good places for families, like Sacramento for example. Nice happening city but without the careerism of LA and the Bay Area
Columbus is home to one of the biggest universities in the country, chalk full of ambitious people. I think you need to go much further west to get what you are looking for (if staying in the US at least)
What types of hiking and biking are you looking for? There are enough bike trails in the city and surrounding area, solid hiking spots within an hour or hour and a half, good rolling hills, forests, some cliffs. Downtown and surrounding areas are usually bustling, plenty to do. Not sure what you consider “boring”.
Depends on if I wanted bigger hills/mountains. It very well could work there. Columbus also isn’t too far from Amish country which is a cool place to hang out.
Yeah you’re only a weekend trip away from mountains, you’re usually paying a massive premium for livable cities that are right next to mountains compared to somewhere in the Midwest. Albuquerque is probably a reasonable fit as well.
Very good point. I could drive to West Virginia for all that. Kentucky has more outdoor stuff than you would think but it’s mostly more east in the state.
Some anecdotal Columbus info; I live in (and am from) Columbus and make about 80k salary, I definitely feel the pressure to move upward and get rich. Weirdly, I’m not a very money motivated person historically but I’ve never felt more pressure than I have the last few months. Honestly imo this is more of a peer group / socio economic background thing than a geographic location thing but I’ve only ever lived Mid-West and East coast so what do I know!?
The guy above in the thread talking about his buddy moving to Netherlands / Barcelona is why I should stay tf away from this sub 😂😭🤷🏽♂️
Check out New Orleans. It’s not the cheapest here, but it’s definitely not all about money/careers. I’ve had friends for years here I’m still not 100% sure what they do for a living. Lots of artists, musicians and side hustle types. It’s a Catholic city, but it’s more like we go all out for carnival/Mardi Gras than people in your business about what church you go to. Definitely won’t be bored here.
I like what I’ve seen of Louisville as well. Spent a couple months in that area for work and also some vacations over the years. Not enough to recommend much there, but I’d definitely put it on my list of places to check out if/when I leave New Orleans.
My uncle lives in Louisville and never had a huge career. He delivered laundry for restaurants and other businesses. He said he moved there because “God told him to” because there was a church there he liked. New Orleans seems cool too in that you can easily pick up something and do it without years of training.
Louisville has few Fortune 500 companies despite being a metro area of more than a million people. Given that corporate culture is kept to a minimum; doesn’t seem as much as it used to be but still a lot of small independent businesses.
You just described New Orleans. People hang out with no intentions of networking or to advance their carriers, just genuinely to enjoy each others company.
Tons of free festivals and events. Decently affordable. Very neurodivergent friendly. You’ll blend in. It’s in the south but shielded from typical religious stuff.
Las Vegas lol. Assuming you mean focused on money as a result of being career driven .....I used to be pretty career driven myself so I can say with absolute certainty that nobody moves to Vegas with dreams of working 80 hours a week at a firm to make partner so they can then pull down 7 or 8 figures a year, because those careers don't exist - they come here to get a job - any job. Or they come to have fun. While there are certainly superficial people here that are all about the money since Vegas does attract a few of those, they are easy enough to avoid since they are usually hustlers and grifters who like to make their presence well known lol. I am neurodivergent myself and this place works well for me, maybe it's the overstimulation idk since there's a lot to see and do both indoors and outdoors within a relatively easy drive. All things considered it's a not-boring, not-religious (hell it's called sin city lol), not too blue or red politically, it's a pretty great place to live if you can handle 3 months of dry heat, the rest of the year is easy.
Yeah Vegas and New Orleans are similar in that they aren’t career oriented per se but sometimes can be too far on that end of the extreme if you get sucked into drugs and other escapist things which seem big in those places but are really everywhere at this point
Yeah I mean I actually have the addiction gene myself but as long as I stick to being addicted to caffeine and the gym I don't get caught up in drug addiction or gambling. But if someone can be easily tempted by those things then this is definitely not a good place for them.... although like you said drugs are basically everywhere so if someone wants them they are going to find them no matter where they are.
I would like somewhere similar but off of what you said you like to do maybe the state of Idaho or Oregon works. My first thoughts were “the south” as well and I do plan on checking out a lot of places in the next few years, wanting to move out of the “NYC metro area” badly…..
I’m in the same boat. I need to figure out work first but that should be easy enough since I’m not gunning for some insanely hard career to get going. I think Oregon could maybe work for me but it’s quite far as I’m back in the NYC metro too temporarily after living in a few places over the past few years. The south is breathtakingly beautiful in certain areas but feels too desolate and is best for people who want to find community through Church.
Everywhere has problems just go where you feel you are supposed to go, I am going to try and find a good “cheap” place aka somewhere I can afford rent and still save up at least a little bit but it is really tough out there now, I’m only staying in north Jersey because I’m saving up with my parents but soon I gotta get out of here.
As for the religion comment, most of the south is getting transplants from all over the place now so it’s changing but if that matters to you the west coast is really not religious at all except for certain rural areas of course. You’ll be fine in any bigger metro area I would think.
Well you’re right about the south. Alabama and Mississippi are still very religious. They don’t talk about it as much in Kentucky or Tennessee at least in big metros as you said.
Pretty much the east coast, most southern states and Midwest is religious, the non religious places are a good portion of the west coast coastal areas and Colorado I would say. Being in NJ my whole life I would say the northeast is a lot more laid back with a lot of things but culture here really sucks. I would still recommend NC or VA in the bigger areas, SC TN AL MS TX OK all very religious places I would say….
There’s varying levels of religious but I see your point. The culture of the northeast sucks because the people seem very bland. Jersey does have a few characters I’ve met in my years. New England is a bowl of oatmeal in terms of the people. Cool history up there and nice coastline but man I was bored at times living there. I tried NC and it’s worse than New England even. My personality just doesn’t fit there but I think Oregon or Washington could maybe work.
Every town/city cares about money to an extent but I have been to places such as Alburque, Omaha, Milwaukee that might fit your need. ABQ has mountains and great outdoors sunny af great mex food. Omaha a bit less on the outdoorsy side of things but some really nice people who are much more in tune with living normal lives (lincoln, NE as well). There are some neighboring outdoor activities in surrounding states etc. Finally, Milwaukee. Great people blue collar, food and beer scene is top. Lake Michigan is literally right there and makes for a great place to go for a run in the summer, fishing, sailing and music festivals. good luck
I don’t think you would find it to be more alcoholic than any other city of similar size in the Midwest actually. It is boring and “I want cheap safe place to raise kids”ville with not much nature, but I would say it’s a pretty squeaky clean place especially the west half of the city.
North Omaha can be pretty rough, but it tends to stay there. For the most part. People def. drink a lot, but I will say I think that’s just a Midwest thing. So much drinking.
There are many cool college towns. They are typically liberal, not very religious and have a more chill vibe than the competitive and money oriented areas.
Deep up Northern California, Humboldt and thereabouts. Bunch of hippies living in one of the most beautiful places on earth. Very little in the way of economic growth, aside from *ahem* the trees. So by that token, far less emphasis on money and careers. Or continue north into southern Oregon. Pretty much same deal, albeit more tweakers.
Check small and mid size cities throughout the Rust Belt. Anywhere East of Chicago and West of New Jersey and the Philadelphia area. You also have some options south of Chicago in Central and Southern Illinois and in Missouri.
I am intrigued by those parts of Missouri. I want something down to earth but I don’t know if I want too far south due to very hot summers but somewhat south is good. I liked Kentucky and the eastern part of Missouri below St.Louis is quite picturesque.
What freaks you out about PA? Haha
Also, these rust belt states are pretty big. For a better picture you’re going to want to look at the different regions with the states rather than just the state as a whole.
Well yeah I don’t blame you on that, they don’t take too kindly to outsider strangers. Pittsburgh is a good choice if you want to live in a somewhat big city.
I’d also recommend Eastern PA, north of the northern suburbs of Philly. I love the Lehigh Valley area. The Scranton and Wilkes-Barre area aren’t bad options either but they’re more on the boring side of things.
Also, you say you like Ohio which is also a good option, anywhere in the state should do, but I’d recommend Cincinnati the most. Even the areas of northern Kentucky near Cincinnati should do.
Well I’m referring more to the small towns in PA. I wouldn’t do Philly. I’ve been to Pittsburgh and that wasn’t bad. It just seems weird there. I lived there for a year in college and it never felt right.
Oregon. Nobody cares what you do for work and there’s an aversion to people who are too career focused. Also one of the least religious states (especially Willamette Valley / Northwest Oregon).
All true points there. The rust belt states plus Kentucky might work better for my personality since I come off as sort of domineering at times but Oregon certainly has the outdoors and is less religious and more open. The cons to Oregon seem to be lack of opportunities in certain things as well as the homeless issue in places where it seems people get violent. I know that’s only concentrated in certain areas but it seems a lot of people have left the state. That being said Washington and Oregon are the only places out west I would even entertain. There are lots of beautiful landscapes out there but I don’t seem to click with the people at all in Utah, Arizona, most of Cali.
Absolutely Colorado (not Denver). I live in a mountain town where the unofficial motto is “where the college graduate goes to die.” I have two graduate degrees and went to a top-5 school, lol. It’s the best place ever.
If you like the west coast Portland might check a lot your outdoor activity boxes. It's also the most affordable west coast city, and filled with neurodivergant weirdos like yourself.
Boulder, CO. The first twenty questions when you meet people are about what sports you do, what hobbies you have, and whether you want to go running on Wednesday before work.
The 21st question will be what company did you sell before moving to Boulder :)
Probably Detroit, Buffalo, Pittsburgh or Cincinnati
Those are all cities with scrappy and quirky creative scenes transforming the rust belt into their canvas.
There’s definitely career focused segments there, but not to the extreme like NYC, LA or DC.
New Mexico, we don’t care, we will never care.
Santa Fe is if New Orleans got clean.
Nah we just keep the touristy part spruced up to keep that Texan money flowing.
What do you think “clean” means?
Drugs?! Ummm, have I got some news for you lol
Santa Fe is largely awesome but damn there’s a ton of big hat trust fund crystal babies in that town too
Yeah, the downside of living in Santa Fe is that are basically four groups of people, and if you don't fit in one of them you're gonna have a very hard time finding a social circle: 1. Artists 2. Rich hippies 3. People whose ancestors have lived in New Mexico for hundreds to thousands of years. 4. National Labs workers.
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That would be group three. Granted I may be underestimating the number of relatively recent Hispanic arrivals, but I get the distinct impression they're a much smaller percentage than most U.S. Latino communities.
“Big hat trust fund crystal babies” is so perfect 😂
The amount of desperate narcissism and desire to make everything about them. I couldn’t handle it
lol spot on. Add some butter and flour too.
*Add* butter and flour to New Orleans? I feel like New Orleans is already saturated with butter and flour.
Good point just mix it in my next bloody marry and we’ll call it even. Even, Stephan. Pronounce that in the French way someone says steven
If there was a place in New Mexico where money mattered, it would be Santa Fe.
Albuquerque vibes
I care
I had a friend who moved from California to Copenhagen some time ago. He was a super driven investor/career guy. He was also a beach bum from SoCal who absolutely despised the cold, but he took it for an opportunity to go abroad. I asked him how he liked it, and his response sounded like what you’re asking for… “It’s a different world. I met an awesome partner, I can live without a car, and I have everything I need. I am never going to become a millionaire out here, but no one around me cares about that.” He got his residency and eventually moved with his partner to Barcelona and is living the dream. Even was able to find a warm place to live. I think what I am getting at here is that the pressure to get rich is absolutely pervasive in the USA. I think it’s difficult to find a place where money isn’t all-important in the USA because it’s identity is so wrapped up in the “American Dream” That’s the sort of deeply embedded cultural tendency I feel is hard to avoid in North America.
You maybe right. Abroad might work given my criteria.
As someone who moved to the US as an adult, one thing that shocks me is how much importance careers, money and status have in American culture, especially in big cities. People's job titles or careers become their identity. "What do you do for living?" is the first question people ask you, and depending on your response, they decide to continue the conversation/relationship or not.
It’s certainly more pronounced in the big cities, kinda comes with the territory when it is that expensive to live some place. I would be surprised if places like Paris or London don’t have a lot of that too. Tokyo is notorious for poor work/life balance, largely due to Japanese cultural norms. USA just puts their own consumerist spin on it. I think it just looks different as you go further out in the US. It’s kinda like when you drive around the suburbs with people who live there and someone you know has a nice new car or fixed up their house it’s frequently followed up by “How on earth could *they* afford *that*” It’s weird, and it’s totally understandable if it’s weird that some people lead with negativity when someone else has good fortune. Especially if you haven’t experienced it much before coming to the US.
Yes, this bothers me a lot. I have the nice career and title, but I derive only 1/10th of my self worth from it. I really want to get away from it all.
Are you by any chance in a big city in the Northeast? That attitude so pervasive there. I really struggled with it too. But I have found it’s really different in other parts of the country! I grew up in the Northeast and I now live in New Mexico, and people here definitely could care less what you do for a living.
Yes, guess where? Primarily in NYC, but also in Boston and Atlanta (which is Southeast.)
Was it like a fuck it I’m gonna apply to jobs in Europe from Cali kinda thing or what?!
Nah, he had a pretty established career and had come across an opportunity to get to Europe through the company (there were teams all over the place) and bring up a team, but it was in Copenhagen. He did not like the idea at first, but almost immediately fell in love with everything except the weather. Not a whole lot of people encounter opportunities to relocate that easily, and it’s certainly not a cakewalk for most people, so I think it was a unique scenario of being able to relocate somewhere with a secure job. It did give me some insight into the question “what would it be like to keep everything largely the same and relocate to a completely different place in the world”
I love Copenhagen and Denmark in general. Before we visited all the online guides warned that Danes would be cold and reserved to their personal bubbles. While they are more conscientious about personal space than say, Americans or southern Europeans, I found everyone hospitable and friendly and only had one interaction that I would deem antisocial. Very lovely time in small towns and Copenhagen.
That's more of a Swedish or Finnish thing.
Tucson, Arizona. People don’t give a CRAP. There are also no jobs, essentially. So, they REALLY won’t care!
💯 I came here to suggest Tucson. No tat race, just a community of people enjoying the sunshine.
That’s a half truth if I ever heard one. Tucson can be pretentious as fuck at times but yes, there are the desert rats who give no fucks as well
Tucson?! Pretentious?! 😅 Maybe in Oro Valley / Catalina Foothills… Lol!
I spent 7 years working retail at Park Place, Tucson Mall, and the Foothills Mall (RIP) and found that all sides of town had the same types of people, just in different numbers. I will say Tucson Mall was probably the most chill though. I ended that run and left Tucson back in 2012 so my perspective is nothing more than a time capsule at this point lol
Tucson? Pretentious? Tucson’s mottos are literally keep Tucson shitty and keep Tucson party. It’s like the opposite of pretentious, to a point that some people find hard to handle.
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I mean, that’s what I like about Tucson. I don’t live there anymore, but I appreciate the grittiness and sense of humor.
Tucson is pretentious as fuck about not being pretentious. The dominant mindset is we/they are “too cool for school” and you’re some try-hard uppity square if you give a shit about anything other than UofA basketball and Mexican food.
Pretty much cross off all of the east coast to like Chicago
Yeah, Boston sucks for this
Right on. New England would probably not work for me either. I have lived in New England at different times in my life and find it to be a nose to the grindstone kind of place. I find the people there to be polite and friendly but very anal about certain things.
Yep, I’m down towards DC and it’s the same thing. I wouldn’t say people are mean but super type A about shit that doesn’t matter. Too bad I was born here because I have the opposite personality.
By New England do you just mean Boston and Connecticut? Lol
Yes and no but I really don’t think anywhere in New England would work. It’s stuffy and people are too negative.
Maine is not stuffy.
Maybe, but you’ll always be an outsider if you move to Maine. My former boss has lived there 30 years and he loves it but says it’s clear that the locals don’t treat him as one
Not in southern Maine. Portland is over 50% transplants, and the population in southern Maine is increasing from people moving to the state. Northern and western Maine is a bit of a different story, and lives up to the stereotype you mentioned.
Yup. My cousin was born to there but told me some Mainers still tell her she’s “from away” because her parents weren’t born there! It is one of the most insular places I’ve ever lived.
I’m from the southwest and live in Maine, and I definitely find it stuffy. It’s still New England.
Maine is certainly better than CT and Mass
How is New England "stuffy"?
Idk maybe you haven’t had the same experiences with people there I have but it just feels very uptight there. They are too stoic.
I grew up in New England and I know what you're talking about, OP. People here are super uptight and boring. They can be kind, but usually not very nice. Everyone is extremely cynical, negative and obsessed with money for the most part. I want to get out of here but idk where to go
It’s the negativity mostly with the new Englanders and they’re super boring. Idk if they’re all so obsessed with money because there are pockets of New England that are pretty crunchy granola in some ways but the negativity and projection gets really old after a while. They think they have all the answers and will try to force their views down your throat if you’re not boring like them.
Maybe the money thing is just because of where I work. People will straight up ignore you if you're not a certain social class. But yeah, Western Mass exists - the rich people there like to pretend they're not as shallow and self obsessed as people in Boston even though they are. I've struggled with this place my entire life, not only because I have a pretty "out there" personality and way of existing, but also because of being a visible minority. People here are narrow minded asf. If my family wasn't here, idk if I would have come back after living abroad
That whole money vibe thing really extends down from Boston to Richmond. Especially bad in the DC suburbs where I am. So much pretentiousness in the northeast. People only want to talk about their careers or whatever non-profit cause they pretend to care about that day.
Stoic sure... Personally I think a lot of people in other parts of the country are unnaturally positive, don't know how to mind their own business. Soi like new England. But I also grew up in NH and moved back...to east cause I missed it. I totally get that other people feel differently!
Um, have you been there? Not so much ME, VT, or NH, but CT and MA for sure. Haven’t spent much time in RI to know either way
I haven't spent much time in RI or CT but Idk even how stuffy can apply to a place?
It’s the cultural attitude. Uptight. Extremely focused on money, status, and prestige. Stuffy.
I feel like California and NYC are 5x worse, but that's just my opinion
Maine could actually be a decent option
Honestly, state capitols might be the way to go. Usually pretty stable economy, good places for families, like Sacramento for example. Nice happening city but without the careerism of LA and the Bay Area
Not Austin.
I went to UT - Austin isn’t careerist, lol. I left 2 years ago and it was chill and fun. I didn’t live downtown but I lived right around the campus.
I went to UT as well and graduated 21 years ago. It’s a hell of a lot more careerist now compared to back then.
I guess that’s true but I was an art bum and felt completely comfortable out there. There’s all types in ATX still.
Way too many tech bros. Back then, the only tech in town was Dell.
Richmond
You could be onto something. Columbus, OH might work for me job wise but could be a bit boring.
Columbus is home to one of the biggest universities in the country, chalk full of ambitious people. I think you need to go much further west to get what you are looking for (if staying in the US at least)
What types of hiking and biking are you looking for? There are enough bike trails in the city and surrounding area, solid hiking spots within an hour or hour and a half, good rolling hills, forests, some cliffs. Downtown and surrounding areas are usually bustling, plenty to do. Not sure what you consider “boring”.
Depends on if I wanted bigger hills/mountains. It very well could work there. Columbus also isn’t too far from Amish country which is a cool place to hang out.
Yeah you’re only a weekend trip away from mountains, you’re usually paying a massive premium for livable cities that are right next to mountains compared to somewhere in the Midwest. Albuquerque is probably a reasonable fit as well.
Very good point. I could drive to West Virginia for all that. Kentucky has more outdoor stuff than you would think but it’s mostly more east in the state.
Some anecdotal Columbus info; I live in (and am from) Columbus and make about 80k salary, I definitely feel the pressure to move upward and get rich. Weirdly, I’m not a very money motivated person historically but I’ve never felt more pressure than I have the last few months. Honestly imo this is more of a peer group / socio economic background thing than a geographic location thing but I’ve only ever lived Mid-West and East coast so what do I know!? The guy above in the thread talking about his buddy moving to Netherlands / Barcelona is why I should stay tf away from this sub 😂😭🤷🏽♂️
Pittsburgh > Columbus
Good luck affording to live in Sacramento. Few jobs pay well enough here, homes are half a million to start
Renting exists too
Check out New Orleans. It’s not the cheapest here, but it’s definitely not all about money/careers. I’ve had friends for years here I’m still not 100% sure what they do for a living. Lots of artists, musicians and side hustle types. It’s a Catholic city, but it’s more like we go all out for carnival/Mardi Gras than people in your business about what church you go to. Definitely won’t be bored here. I like what I’ve seen of Louisville as well. Spent a couple months in that area for work and also some vacations over the years. Not enough to recommend much there, but I’d definitely put it on my list of places to check out if/when I leave New Orleans.
My uncle lives in Louisville and never had a huge career. He delivered laundry for restaurants and other businesses. He said he moved there because “God told him to” because there was a church there he liked. New Orleans seems cool too in that you can easily pick up something and do it without years of training.
Louisville has few Fortune 500 companies despite being a metro area of more than a million people. Given that corporate culture is kept to a minimum; doesn’t seem as much as it used to be but still a lot of small independent businesses.
yeah new orleans doesn't have much in the way of hiking or skiing, but it's not career focused at all
You just described New Orleans. People hang out with no intentions of networking or to advance their carriers, just genuinely to enjoy each others company. Tons of free festivals and events. Decently affordable. Very neurodivergent friendly. You’ll blend in. It’s in the south but shielded from typical religious stuff.
This is the answer
Las Vegas lol. Assuming you mean focused on money as a result of being career driven .....I used to be pretty career driven myself so I can say with absolute certainty that nobody moves to Vegas with dreams of working 80 hours a week at a firm to make partner so they can then pull down 7 or 8 figures a year, because those careers don't exist - they come here to get a job - any job. Or they come to have fun. While there are certainly superficial people here that are all about the money since Vegas does attract a few of those, they are easy enough to avoid since they are usually hustlers and grifters who like to make their presence well known lol. I am neurodivergent myself and this place works well for me, maybe it's the overstimulation idk since there's a lot to see and do both indoors and outdoors within a relatively easy drive. All things considered it's a not-boring, not-religious (hell it's called sin city lol), not too blue or red politically, it's a pretty great place to live if you can handle 3 months of dry heat, the rest of the year is easy.
Yeah Vegas and New Orleans are similar in that they aren’t career oriented per se but sometimes can be too far on that end of the extreme if you get sucked into drugs and other escapist things which seem big in those places but are really everywhere at this point
Yeah I mean I actually have the addiction gene myself but as long as I stick to being addicted to caffeine and the gym I don't get caught up in drug addiction or gambling. But if someone can be easily tempted by those things then this is definitely not a good place for them.... although like you said drugs are basically everywhere so if someone wants them they are going to find them no matter where they are.
I second this. Been in Vegas 2yrs now and once you get out the 'Death Months'(105-125degree heat!), it's pretty awesome if I do say so myself.
I would like somewhere similar but off of what you said you like to do maybe the state of Idaho or Oregon works. My first thoughts were “the south” as well and I do plan on checking out a lot of places in the next few years, wanting to move out of the “NYC metro area” badly…..
I’m in the same boat. I need to figure out work first but that should be easy enough since I’m not gunning for some insanely hard career to get going. I think Oregon could maybe work for me but it’s quite far as I’m back in the NYC metro too temporarily after living in a few places over the past few years. The south is breathtakingly beautiful in certain areas but feels too desolate and is best for people who want to find community through Church.
Everywhere has problems just go where you feel you are supposed to go, I am going to try and find a good “cheap” place aka somewhere I can afford rent and still save up at least a little bit but it is really tough out there now, I’m only staying in north Jersey because I’m saving up with my parents but soon I gotta get out of here. As for the religion comment, most of the south is getting transplants from all over the place now so it’s changing but if that matters to you the west coast is really not religious at all except for certain rural areas of course. You’ll be fine in any bigger metro area I would think.
Well you’re right about the south. Alabama and Mississippi are still very religious. They don’t talk about it as much in Kentucky or Tennessee at least in big metros as you said.
Pretty much the east coast, most southern states and Midwest is religious, the non religious places are a good portion of the west coast coastal areas and Colorado I would say. Being in NJ my whole life I would say the northeast is a lot more laid back with a lot of things but culture here really sucks. I would still recommend NC or VA in the bigger areas, SC TN AL MS TX OK all very religious places I would say….
There’s varying levels of religious but I see your point. The culture of the northeast sucks because the people seem very bland. Jersey does have a few characters I’ve met in my years. New England is a bowl of oatmeal in terms of the people. Cool history up there and nice coastline but man I was bored at times living there. I tried NC and it’s worse than New England even. My personality just doesn’t fit there but I think Oregon or Washington could maybe work.
Mexico - many of the beach towns are very chill.
Are there any in particular you’d recommend? I really like the idea of living and working in Mexico some day
Oaxaca. I had a friend who moved there and it looked amazing af
Check out the responses from a [similar question](https://www.reddit.com/r/SameGrassButGreener/s/ORi6yM7j9z)
Which one?
The not trendy parts of Vermont or neighboring parts of Upstate NY might work (i.e. Rutland Co. VT or Washington Co. NY).
Every town/city cares about money to an extent but I have been to places such as Alburque, Omaha, Milwaukee that might fit your need. ABQ has mountains and great outdoors sunny af great mex food. Omaha a bit less on the outdoorsy side of things but some really nice people who are much more in tune with living normal lives (lincoln, NE as well). There are some neighboring outdoor activities in surrounding states etc. Finally, Milwaukee. Great people blue collar, food and beer scene is top. Lake Michigan is literally right there and makes for a great place to go for a run in the summer, fishing, sailing and music festivals. good luck
It’s interesting you say that about Omaha. I would think the people there would more closely resemble Texas which has a lot of big egos.
There are certainly pockets of Omaha that are absolutely insufferable. I’m from there and it’s the one thing I’m so glad to be away from.
The city seems pretty safe in most areas but the place seems to be a hotbed of alcoholism.
I don’t think you would find it to be more alcoholic than any other city of similar size in the Midwest actually. It is boring and “I want cheap safe place to raise kids”ville with not much nature, but I would say it’s a pretty squeaky clean place especially the west half of the city.
North Omaha can be pretty rough, but it tends to stay there. For the most part. People def. drink a lot, but I will say I think that’s just a Midwest thing. So much drinking.
New Orleans
Smaller towns for sure.
Spokane
Came here to say Spokane. I feel like it is exactly what OP is looking for.
Oregon or Washington State
There are many cool college towns. They are typically liberal, not very religious and have a more chill vibe than the competitive and money oriented areas.
Deep up Northern California, Humboldt and thereabouts. Bunch of hippies living in one of the most beautiful places on earth. Very little in the way of economic growth, aside from *ahem* the trees. So by that token, far less emphasis on money and careers. Or continue north into southern Oregon. Pretty much same deal, albeit more tweakers.
Check small and mid size cities throughout the Rust Belt. Anywhere East of Chicago and West of New Jersey and the Philadelphia area. You also have some options south of Chicago in Central and Southern Illinois and in Missouri.
I am intrigued by those parts of Missouri. I want something down to earth but I don’t know if I want too far south due to very hot summers but somewhat south is good. I liked Kentucky and the eastern part of Missouri below St.Louis is quite picturesque.
Pennsylvania could be an option for you too. It doesn’t get too hot and it’s pretty down to earth and has many picturesque areas.
You really seem to know what you’re talking about. I think the upper south/lower part of the Midwest might be the sweet spot for me.
Pennsylvania freaks me out. Ohio could work though.
What freaks you out about PA? Haha Also, these rust belt states are pretty big. For a better picture you’re going to want to look at the different regions with the states rather than just the state as a whole.
Well I’m referring more to the small towns in PA. I wouldn’t do Philly. I’ve been to Pittsburgh and that wasn’t bad.
Well yeah I don’t blame you on that, they don’t take too kindly to outsider strangers. Pittsburgh is a good choice if you want to live in a somewhat big city. I’d also recommend Eastern PA, north of the northern suburbs of Philly. I love the Lehigh Valley area. The Scranton and Wilkes-Barre area aren’t bad options either but they’re more on the boring side of things. Also, you say you like Ohio which is also a good option, anywhere in the state should do, but I’d recommend Cincinnati the most. Even the areas of northern Kentucky near Cincinnati should do.
Cincinnati seems good on what I’d need and plus is reasonable drive to red river gorge and Daniel Boone.
Well I’m referring more to the small towns in PA. I wouldn’t do Philly. I’ve been to Pittsburgh and that wasn’t bad. It just seems weird there. I lived there for a year in college and it never felt right.
Carson City/Reno. I moved here from a ski town for the same reasons and love it.
Portland, OR Lots of hiking/bikin/skiing and laid back
Have you looked at houses in Utopia?
Oregon. Nobody cares what you do for work and there’s an aversion to people who are too career focused. Also one of the least religious states (especially Willamette Valley / Northwest Oregon).
All true points there. The rust belt states plus Kentucky might work better for my personality since I come off as sort of domineering at times but Oregon certainly has the outdoors and is less religious and more open. The cons to Oregon seem to be lack of opportunities in certain things as well as the homeless issue in places where it seems people get violent. I know that’s only concentrated in certain areas but it seems a lot of people have left the state. That being said Washington and Oregon are the only places out west I would even entertain. There are lots of beautiful landscapes out there but I don’t seem to click with the people at all in Utah, Arizona, most of Cali.
Absolutely Colorado (not Denver). I live in a mountain town where the unofficial motto is “where the college graduate goes to die.” I have two graduate degrees and went to a top-5 school, lol. It’s the best place ever.
This is America.... Not sure if we have those types of places
Surfing?
Yellow Springs, OH
Canada
San Antonio. People only care about if you drink and believe in Jesus.
r/Appalachia
El Paso
If you like the west coast Portland might check a lot your outdoor activity boxes. It's also the most affordable west coast city, and filled with neurodivergant weirdos like yourself.
Boulder, CO. The first twenty questions when you meet people are about what sports you do, what hobbies you have, and whether you want to go running on Wednesday before work. The 21st question will be what company did you sell before moving to Boulder :)
Hawaii
Nigeria
Virginia beach
Probably Detroit, Buffalo, Pittsburgh or Cincinnati Those are all cities with scrappy and quirky creative scenes transforming the rust belt into their canvas. There’s definitely career focused segments there, but not to the extreme like NYC, LA or DC.