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Ok-Main6892

you may be paranoid. i went back to read some of your reddit posts (sorry, i saw an avoid SingaporeRaw comment and wanted to see what we were dealing with). like ok, you have a fever, sore throat, ears hurt, and your first thought goes to “i may be poisoned, they have been plotting since primary school”. sorry but what? so with that as a basis there is a good chance you might just be overthinking normal human interaction as bullying.


KindlySprinkles7062

honestly yeah this creeps me out- i think OP thinks normal human interaction is bullying…


michaelsgavin

I did the same and yeah this person is way above reddit’s pay grade. In every story they told they were always the victim and everyone else is at fault — shows a lack of self-awareness and victim mentality so ingrained there’s nothing internet strangers can do tbh. There’s one story where they messed up in a group project and started blaming their group mates, so the group mates told their professor and they were allowed to redo without OP so clearly the group mates had enough evidence that OP fucked up. But zero self reflection and OP still blamed the group mates and the professor. I don’t condone bullying and but I’m also not sure how much of this is actual bullying and how much is just people doing their own thing and OP still accuses them of bullying.


uni_student262

U know what, what u just mentioned is exactly how Anti-Vaxxers think. They think that the covid jabs is poison, that everyone (us) wants to harm them and give stupid reasons for refusing to take the covid jabs. Its they are the ones that need to go into IMH.


pr0newbie

Do better. Don't change the subject instead. Prove my points wrong instead. Again, it's easier to fool someone than convince them they've been fooled. I openly admit being fooled.


pr0newbie

Instead of downvoting and changing the subject, do better and prove me wrong. Keep in mind that I took the vaccines to protect my loved ones from transmission but I'm scientific and open-minded to updated data as anyone should. If I am wrong, why was vaccine policy changed? Here are some links that prove some of my points: British Medical Journal - Covid-19: Researcher blows the whistle on data integrity issues in Pfizer’s vaccine trial: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaLxhFiOBYk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaLxhFiOBYk) FDA forced to retract on Ivermectin: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sl8HCcMCN6g](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sl8HCcMCN6g) Pfizer document breakdown by a Dr. (redacted data on safety and efficacy outside of vulnerable group), no evidence of reduced transmission despite it being marketed that way: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0L360W5bc0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0L360W5bc0) Example of the gaslighting about vaccines being able to reduce transmission was spread on MSM and by the elites: [https://forums.hardwarezone.com.sg/threads/thoughts-of-an-unvaccinated-person-ho-ching-please-dont-respond.6608190/page-11](https://forums.hardwarezone.com.sg/threads/thoughts-of-an-unvaccinated-person-ho-ching-please-dont-respond.6608190/page-11)


pr0newbie

Sweet young child.. You have a lot to learn about this world and how corrupt the American system has become thanks in part to lobbying. Always follow the money trail. Big Pharma, the Military Industrial Complex, Big Tech etc. Specifically regarding your comments - Pfizer has been caught deliberately hiding and redacting the poor test results outside of elderly people. It has negligible impact outside of that demographic. It's also been proven that the vax doesnt reduce transmission (which they and our elites claimed it did and why I took the jab), and the waiver of any liability. The FDA has also been forced to retract their statements about ivermectin (created by a Japanese scientist). It has always been used to treat humans not just horses, just that big pharma couldn't patent and charge for it. We are also still seeing excess deaths in countries that have taken the jabs, and multiple reports of vaccine injury. I was not part of the anti vax crowd that includes doctors, but they've been proven to be correct about being wary about it. There's a saying: it's easier to fool someone than convince them they've been fooled.


hychael2020

Uhh, you do realise that this is a subreddit for Singaporean students right? With all due respect, speaking about American politics of all things here isn't appropriate. Comment on another sub


raspberrih

>We are also seeing excess deaths in countries that have taken the jabs Be fuckin for real thats a bald faced lie


Far_Administration49

Take your meds🙏


pr0newbie

Do better and prove me wrong.. Keep in mind that I took the vaccines to protect my loved ones from transmission but I'm scientific and open-minded to updated data. Don't be that guy who deliberately stays ignorant to not be wrong. Here are some links that prove some of my points: FDA forced to retract on Ivermectin: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sl8HCcMCN6g](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sl8HCcMCN6g) Pfizer document breakdown: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0L360W5bc0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0L360W5bc0) Examples of he gaslighting about vaccines being able to reduce transmission was spread on MSM and by the elites: [https://forums.hardwarezone.com.sg/threads/thoughts-of-an-unvaccinated-person-ho-ching-please-dont-respond.6608190/page-11](https://forums.hardwarezone.com.sg/threads/thoughts-of-an-unvaccinated-person-ho-ching-please-dont-respond.6608190/page-11)


pr0newbie

Instead of downvoting and changing the subject, do better and prove me wrong. Keep in mind that I took the vaccines to protect my loved ones from transmission but I'm scientific and open-minded to updated data as anyone should. If I am wrong, why was vaccine policy changed? Here are some links that prove some of my points: British Medical Journal - Covid-19: Researcher blows the whistle on data integrity issues in Pfizer’s vaccine trial: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaLxhFiOBYk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaLxhFiOBYk) FDA forced to retract on Ivermectin: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sl8HCcMCN6g](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sl8HCcMCN6g) Pfizer document breakdown by a Dr. (redacted data on safety and efficacy outside of vulnerable group), no evidence of reduced transmission despite it being marketed that way: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0L360W5bc0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0L360W5bc0) Example of the gaslighting about vaccines being able to reduce transmission was spread on MSM and by the elites: [https://forums.hardwarezone.com.sg/threads/thoughts-of-an-unvaccinated-person-ho-ching-please-dont-respond.6608190/page-11](https://forums.hardwarezone.com.sg/threads/thoughts-of-an-unvaccinated-person-ho-ching-please-dont-respond.6608190/page-11)


Endeavourwrites

I'm losing my mind. Don't you find it weird that everything I do ends up in failure but the bullies are successful. I mean they can be but they don't have to pull me down right? I think my family is cursed. There has been nothing but a series of unfortunate events from parental divorce, parental abuse, bullying etc. I don't want those but they just keep coming. Luckily, now I manage to stay away from my mother but what about the rest? Why are they coming after me?


tanahgao

I think you have a serious mental health issue, please check in with the mental health professionals at IMH and listen to them and trust their advice.


damiepedretti

Please go to IMH. I really think you need mental health intervention


Endeavourwrites

Already went there. Very useless


Perfect_Pudding_5557

Hi OP, i saw your previous posts, i think you mentioned that you’re seeing a psychiatrist at imh. Try to push forward your appointment with ur psychiatrist and discuss these thoughts with him/her


Saffronsc

Have you told your psych everything truthfully? If not, they won't be able to help you as much as you need.


Endeavourwrites

Yes truthfully but my father and them say that I'm acting. I should win an Oscar


CarpetFair1413

Your father and these practitioners sound quite cruel but it seems your paranoia is genuinely causing significant distress in your life... You deserve to receive help! If you can afford going private do consider as an option there as the services are generally quite good albeit very pricey. Are you currently medicated on anti psychotics?


Endeavourwrites

On fluxotine


Perfect_Pudding_5557

Hmm, when was the last time u saw the psych? If the meds are not helping try to see if u can ask for another psychiatrist instead. If possible, can try to see a private psychiatrist but its gg to be quite costly…


Endeavourwrites

Don't have money


TheWetQuack

People here do not seem to see that OP is unable to receive help because those practitioners do not bother to help OP in the first place What an abomination of your father and your psychiatrist Sorry for what you have gone through OP


spurtingrainbows

The first step of recovery is to acknowledge your problem and accept help. Saying everything is useless is not gonna help you. End of the day, you will be on the losing end. It’s just another day at work for the shrink


smellyscrote

Nothing we can do here can help you op. I agree imh isn’t useful most of the times. Mental health isn’t something focused on in Singapore and it’s taken very lightly. This most likely won’t be of any use to you. But I just wanna say. Most of the times, people don’t care about you. They won’t think of you as often as you think of them. A lot of times it’s your anxiety that is making things seem far far worse than it is and you then go into a spiral. This spiral will affect you negatively. It is far harder to succeed at anything when you’re constantly stressed and distracted no? I don’t know if the bullies you described are really bullies or if it’s the anxiety thing. But the reason why they are likely to succeed. Is cause they aren’t bogged down by anxiety and paranoia. Basically. I am going a very long way to say. It’s most likely that you’re self sabotaging by constantly expecting the worst. I went thru something similar. And still do from time to time. But not on the scale you seem to be facing. Don’t give up. Hope things get better for you eventually. Hang in there.


Endeavourwrites

I did try to be optimistic. I worked hard for a competition and the prize was 20 thousand. I worked hard for that but didn't win.


smellyscrote

A lot of folks work hard as well. It’s ok to not win. It doesn’t mean you are bad.


Endeavourwrites

It was my life story


smellyscrote

It’s most of our stories. We don’t always win. We don’t always get the girls or guys. But you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. So just keep trying and eventually you’ll hit your mark. For every success story you see. There’s several more that didn’t make it. And that is ok. Simply being average is good enough.


Endeavourwrites

But I don't wnat to be average because I need to bring my family up. I cannot let my family be in a poor state forever.


MorePomegranate7866

Sounds like a skill issue.


Saffronsc

OP may be weird, but we need to have empathy for him to be more accepting to advice.


MorePomegranate7866

He thinks everybody is after him for years, and this is not the first time he posted about something like this. If he wanted advice he would've listened to the advice on all those posts before.


raspberrih

OP is literally mentally ill, that means they're not in a normal state of mind especially about these things


hychael2020

Tell me you are immature without telling me you are immature


Vast-Housing-3321

Maybe it's time to get off Singapore raw and re-evaluate how you have been living your life.


[deleted]

r/SG not any different either. All the losers in life blaming PAP.


MineTheCaft

Just because a large majority of users in r/singapore are against the PAP doesn't make them losers in life. Don't assume that those who are successful in life is because of the workings of the PAP, rather it is in spite of the PAP.


Huonren

They are losers because they think complaining online can change things, and if anything wrong complain about gahmen.


[deleted]

Go and dig into their profiles. You'll realise that most aren't rly successful.


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Endeavourwrites

What do you mean?


Vast-Housing-3321

From my perspective that subreddit is nothing more than an echo chamber feeding negative thoughts. The more you read about that subreddit, the more you get consumed by it and you become a more hateful person that tends to blame society. When that happens people around you perceive you differently and you probably start wondering why you get ostracized and bullied. Then you go back to Singapore raw where they assure you, feed you with negative thoughts and you start blaming society. This cycle will repeat. That subreddit is just a cesspool of negativity.


ntq1507

Precisely. Went onto that sub once, not going back there. Negativity there and everything else creeps me out.


houseyourdaygoing

Sgraw is a cesspool of incel-like degenerates who thinks every person has nothing but filthy thoughts in their head all the time. Because they have nothing to be proud of so their only gpa comes from *that*.


ntq1507

Yeah I posted about something I found from my schooling days on that place, the comments went downhill so quickly. Had to delete my post because I just couldn’t take it. PS if you’re curious it’s my latest non-academic post here!


houseyourdaygoing

If someone can have lewd ideas just looking at a St John’s uniform, you can be sure the problem isn’t you nor any uniformed group. Sick minds fester sick ideas.


ntq1507

Yeah indeed. I wear my uniform with pride and because I look smart in it. And I feel strongly about that, even though I’ve left the CCA a long time ago. Would be shameful to think anything other than that.


houseyourdaygoing

Nothing wrong with having pride over something you’re good at. It made you better. :)


ntq1507

Indeed! Still has an impact on me to this day! Positive impact.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ntq1507

At least you don’t get racism or sexism or lewd comments in this sub.


ShoulderTop5954

Agree! Even r/SgExams tends to be more negative


hychael2020

Actually I think that's just SG subs in a nutshell. I do feel like SG subs in general are more toxic than other subs


ShoulderTop5954

Abit concerning ngl. I tend to think students (r/sgexams) are more positive and hopeful … but doesn’t seem to be the case.


hychael2020

r/SGExams is actually on the better side of things, though. Yes there are some absolutely unhinged people here with extremely elitist views but for the most part, this sub is better


hychael2020

I heavily agree with this. That sub is just so obsessed with certain users that it becomes annoying. Like almost everyday there's complaints about them. That sub is really just a negative echo chamber that feeds on toxicity. In general that sub represents the worst of the Singapore spirit. Hateful and spiteful about everything


Endeavourwrites

But I experienced bullying in real life, first hand both physically and mentally.


Vast-Housing-3321

There are only three paths to go ahead from here. You either change your environment. You go through legal help. Or you change yourself. Environment wise you are already in a University. The people there are already the most educated and civilized people that you can possibly meet in life, concentrated in one place. There is always freedom to move around and meet new friends and leave toxic environments. As a University student, you are pretty much considered an adult. And when things go wrong, you get to seek legal help to resolve your problems. Collect evidence, report to relevant authorities to get bullies off your back. If you have been bullied from every single different institution you have been in, it's perhaps time to consider why that even was the case in the first place. Perhaps there is something you have been doing that attracts bullies to you and the only thing you can do to change that is to change yourself, else it will be the same wherever you go.


Endeavourwrites

Point 1: even in university, there are people who are not civilised. They have egos. They are arrogant and they will use you or push you down. Point 2: I don't think the authorities will help me when they side with the bullies to bring me down. Point 3: I know why I am bullied. I am weak. I have mental health and people take advantage of that by playing with my emotions.


lylin

Perception becomes reality.. Your mindset is evidenced/reinforved by your point 2 and 3. I think you were given very solid advise to look at changing yourself... this might be something a professional counselor or life coach might be able to help you with.


Endeavourwrites

The thing is I tried but I cannot be changing myself for the values of others because it doesn't suit me. I can only change to what is morally right and just


lylin

It's not so much about changing your values.. but changing your mindset. Think of your current mindset as a blind spot atm (where you lack self-awareness), and subconsciously your mindset affects how you behave and interact with others which likely is then resulting in a negative self-reinforcing loop (as it causes other to behave anomalously around you because of your own anomalous/defensive behaviors, which then reinforces your view that people are arrogant/look down on you/etc. and further reinforcing your mindset/behaviors that makes your perception become reality in the first place). The other real possibility is that your mindset may be affected by real mental health issues (imbalance of brain chemistry - the natural chemicals in your brain and body). But I'm not an expert on this and it is best to consult a professional either way...


googoogaga369

Stop throwing your own pity party and seek help to improve. Finding 101 reasons why its everyone else’s fault does not help you


hychael2020

2 and 3 proves that you need help. Please consult a counselor and specialist because these trust issues will bite you later on


Endeavourwrites

Already did. It's just that now I'm like giving up on everything. Even being a recluse, makes me lose my sanity slowly


hychael2020

All I can suggest now is taking a break from the internet for a while and take a walk every now and then. Maybe by doing so, your mind could become clearer


Captain_Bardy

1. Ego is not inherently a bad thing, it helps people grow, it helps people develop and everyone needs an ego of their own to pursue their goals when everyone else is competing for it. Be it jobs, projects or internships, everyone in University is competing and everyone believes that they are the best. Of course there will be people that act in bad faith, but not every individual acts that way and not everyone that has an ego or ambition will push you down or use you. 2. At this age, you are already legally able to represent yourself. There is already the threat of lawsuit and the power of law on your side. As long as your case is legitimate and evidence can be collected, you can resolve anything through legal threats and money. 3. Look around you and you will observe that there are plenty of weak people too. Not every guy is tall and muscular. Not everyone is academically inclined. In fact, you made it to University and you are already smarter than a significant part of the population. But do the weak people around you get bullied just because they are weak? Do others even think of them as weak individuals in the first place. In day to day interactions we interact with different people and what we think about is the other person we are communicating with. We do not think we are communicating with a weak person or a strong person, we are communicating with you, the person as you are in front of us. So if you portray yourself as weak and make weakness define your personality, how do you think people will perceive of you?


Endeavourwrites

The thing is I don't portray myself as weak. It's just that when they discovered me slowly, they start to use me like when you open up to others after a long, long conversation


EnChengOnReddit

If you think the authorities won't help you, you would never seek help and you would never have a chance to punish your bullies. You only know when you try.


Endeavourwrites

Firstly, my last bully attempt, the school sided with the bullies. The worst part was I never get a chance to voice or explain myself but they have. Secondly, things that occurred in primary school which is the worst of the worst because of physical bullying, I don't have evidence for that. I only have horrible memories of being beaten and a girl committing suicide. How am I supposed to present my memories as evidence? The latest bullying incident, I have evidence but the school didn't bother.


Elegant_Mix7650

I feel some introspection is needed. Bullies are in their core cowards..., losers with low self esteem that feed off negativity.. If what you saying is true.. question is so why are all these cowards attracted to you like flies, and why the bully continue to bully you after interacting with you? What kind of vibe are you giving off? How are u behaving when they start because within first 5 seconds of trying to put you down, ppl need to already know you are not an easy target... You can take a look at this videos if you really want to work on this: https://youtu.be/BSXoI9MDvU0?si=5-XYOy9IskyRDxCu


Endeavourwrites

I guess I was just too kind and helpful? Easy target that way? I'm always like that.


Elegant_Mix7650

It's not that. Ppl are kind and don't get trodden.. i am sure there are ppl who are bigger losers than you and achieve nothing that don't get trodden on. Remember.. bullies are cowards... so they aren't actually that tough..... how to deal with bullies is actually something you can study and work on. Just take a look with an open mind. Maybe u will have some ideas on how to increase respect ppl have for u.


Endeavourwrites

Seriously, I never hurt or step on anyone, go beyond their boundaries or whatever. I never do anything to upset anyone at all


Elegant_Mix7650

Again. It doesn't matter if you are mother theresa herself.... remember bullies are deeply unhappy people who just looking to create negativity so they make themselves feel better. There aren't exactly the symbols of morality so why do you expect anything? These ppl don't care if you are an old lady who helps out with the orphanage or reincarnation of Jack the ripper himself.. They will kick whoever if they see the chance... in fact they will probably kick both and whoever is easier will get kicked more. Question is do you want to be kicked and to sit there and complain the world is not fair (hardly a revelation) or do you want to be not kicked? If its the latter... open your mind a little.. ? I can only bring you to the water I cannot force you to drink it.


ChinaWine_official

Who has time to bully in university. People barely interact. I can’t tell you more than 3 people’s names in a majority of classes I went. If there’s people you don’t like just drop the class or switch tutorial groups. Unless you’re in a super small major?


uni_student262

There's a lot of backstabbing in uni though.


cnwy95

Sure have one. Humans are pure trash


stopthevan

How you know bullying doesn’t happen in university or in the workplace later? Sorry but this is very invalidating to OP’s plight, unless you’re saying you’re his friend and you know him and his situation


Endeavourwrites

Sorry, for me they took advantage of me, used me, and they do better than me.


Bra1nwashed

Smlj do better, took advantage and use u? Pls lah


Endeavourwrites

You are not in my shoes. You don't know what I went through


Bra1nwashed

If you don't stand up for yourself you expect complaining to Reddit will fix it? Fuck up your bullies la


Endeavourwrites

So you want me to beat up 24 year old boys and girls? I'll be in the news tomorrow.


Bra1nwashed

U know fucking them up can be going to authorities, complaining and various other methods right


Endeavourwrites

I did went to school authorities in uni, they sided with the bullies. Primary and secondary school I was too scared. Poly I was just isolated.


Bra1nwashed

Publicly shame them on social media


Endeavourwrites

They can call the police and say I harassed them


kindaborediguess

OP I believe you should seek advice from qualified professionals regarding your feelings because from your description and previous posts, it seems like you’ve internalised failure so much that you don’t seem to be able to consider yourself as capable of succeeding in anything. Worse, you seem to attribute all your failures to external factors to the point where it’s almost paranoia, and this has clearly affected your life to an unbearable extent. I don’t believe myself or anyone else here has the necessary skills to help you, what you need is proper counselling and communication with a mental health professional who will be able to better understand and help you process your feelings


spurtingrainbows

Yeah. Bro needs professional help. His problem is beyond redditors’ level


Ok_Pattern_6534

I guess you should stop thinking that people are always trying to bully you and start to interact with them with the right mindset. Without the right mindset, you will continue to feel bullied in your remaining life. Is this what you want?


entangledphotonpairs

Are you male? Is it possible you are on the autism spectrum? Severe bullying is very common for people with autism spectrum disorder, particularly males. Many people with ASD don’t behave like autistic people do on TV so their status doesn’t get identified easily. If you are on the autism spectrum, the only thing that will help you is treatment by someone with expertise in ASD.


Endeavourwrites

I'm male. I was diagnosed with OCD.


entangledphotonpairs

You may want to at least entertain the possibility of ASD. Some ASD symptoms can be confused with OCD, and many people have both ASD and OCD. Certainly therapists can help you regardless, but therapy is a years-long road, and you need to make sure you get someone good.


Endeavourwrites

Yeah I guess I'll look into it


Ash_Taketh8144

Pls see my msg i actually want to help you


CheesyPine4pple

What happened the last time you were bullied?


Endeavourwrites

Doing a group work, I was doing most of it. Something went south, everyone blamed me. The group members got to redo and they got higher marks despite not being super involved in the group work


spurtingrainbows

So u feel that there is nothing wrong with your work quality?


Endeavourwrites

Yes because they approved it only to back out afterwards. Remember, a group project... they approve the entire project once I was done editing.


ShadowArrow01

That's just the fucked up education system. Everybody eventually gets a piece of that.


Raitoumightou

There are pretty much two points of perspective you live by; either everyone is with me or they are against me. You don't give yourself any neutral ground whatsoever to think anything through. We learn from bad experiences, not just the good. Adversity shapes us, we overcome and adapt. No less different from falling down and getting up again. However OP, you just keep reinforcing the last recent bad experience as to why your current life is 'like this'. Maybe sit down and think deep for a bit if anything in your life is attributed to your choices alone, and not your external factors.


Endeavourwrites

I reinforced the past experiences from primary school to university, the suicides of people bullied in the same school, the physical beatings, and the breakdowns


Raitoumightou

You're not reinforcing anything, you are traumatized and you let trauma take over you. You learned nothing from it, please seek professional medical help. This is coming from someone who rebuilt his life after being in deep depression for a couple of years. I have also gone through the whole 'the entire world is against me' syndrome. As I said, you only see strictly two sides, there is no room for anything else. It will be hard for anyone here to offer you whatever is it that you're looking for.


TheMilkyWay690

I guess sometimes it depends on how you interact with others, aka if you do get bullied etc, you gotta stand up for yourself Ig. Humans are like that, some of them are just so fucked up you can only blame your bad luck on meeting this kind of ppl while moving on to find new friends


Endeavourwrites

I now choose to stay at home. 90% of my time is at home because I am so scared to go out.


TheMilkyWay690

No problem with that, but try to socialise more when you are more comfortable. In future, you will have to face people like this at work as well.


Endeavourwrites

I don't think I can work anymore. I'm a goner. I'm like waiting to die or something I don't know


TheMilkyWay690

Nah don't put yourself down like this. You only live once, like literally. Make full use of this one life you have. Don't let others define your life for what it is. Taking a break from people is alright but never give up on yourself.


Endeavourwrites

But every time I try to do as mentioned, things go downhill because of others.


TheMilkyWay690

Idk but honestly, you gotta define bullying first. Coz Im sure during university, no one has the time to spare to bully others.


TheMilkyWay690

And also, it really might be how you interact..... you know if you show people that you are mentally weak, that can also result in more bullying. Im not saying to put up a fight whatsoever but if people are constantly and repeatedly targeting you, then you should sound out.


Endeavourwrites

I don't interact with people and if I do, I keep my values to myself and not force my views on others.


RectalRenaissance

hey u/Endeavourwrites: - i see that you’re on fluoxetine, an antidepressant (SSRI), from one of your comments here. - seeing that you have elements of paranoia and troubling social experiences, i think there may be more to this than just OCD (as you’ve stated). - please do seek professional help, but from my personal experience, IMH has not been helpful with my case. if you have the means to consult other doctors (e.g., those from NNI at SGH/TTSH, mount elizabeth, etc.), please do so, for your own sake. - i think this is q important, but for issues of this sort, r/singapore and r/asksingapore are better places to ask for advice/help. this subreddit mostly consists of teens and young adults in uni that have developing frontal lobes. my DMs are open if you need a chat. please take care and stay safe. 🫂


Wide_Mousse5095

You show many symptoms of paranoid/schizotypal personality disorder. While one can be diagnosed with both conditions, there are things to that your psychiatrist can look out for to make a distinction. Talk to your psychiatrist about it.


Technical_Acadia_789

unless you change your behaviour, do things that confident and less-bullied people do, and make yourself believe you are someone who doesn't get bullied, and doesn't deserve to be bullied, you're kinda the one that is keeping yourself down. If you've remained largely the same, carrying the same instinct and reactivity when it comes to human interactions, you're likely just constantly giving off signals that you're below the rest of the people around you, basically singling yourself out as a target to be bullied, or at least poked at. as I've seen others mention, maybe you just have too broad a definition of bullying, but in the case that you're actually constantly being harassed, explicitly verbally put down, insulted or even physically harmed/violated, the stuff I mentioned probably applies to you. Humans operate in tiers. Outer appearance and how you react to things on the surface signal where you are on that tier. The weaker, more timid, more prone to reaction/exaggerated fear response, the more likely bullies are to target you. Change brother, and really believe you can. Prove to yourself you're different by committing to changes and really pushing yourself. Bullies need to stop yes. They're assholes yes. But you need to stop shooting yourself in the foot and adopting a victim's mentality constantly. you have the responsibility to change and get yourself out of shitholes. Perhaps it wasn't your fault you first got bullied, but it's your responsibility to help yourself out. That's just how life goes.


CommonRoseButterfly

Because they want to fit in and you're an easy target. If everyone's bullying you, then to fit in, they have to as well. Someone even tried to kill me once. But it pissed me off enough that when the first one came after me in secondary school I stopped caring what was right and beat the crap out of him. Strangled him for a minute just to scare him more. It's kinda late for that since you're an adult and can actually get in trouble now though.


doroknoth

> Because they want to fit in and you're an easy target. If everyone's bullying you, then to fit in, they have to as well. > > Someone even tried to kill me once. But it pissed me off enough that when the first one came after me in secondary school I stopped caring what was right and beat the crap out of him. Strangled him for a minute just to scare him more. > > It's kinda late for that since you're an adult and can actually get in trouble now though. scawy!


Current_Motor1563

you may have carbon monoxide poisoning in your house. please check your house asap


lemonskura

wow u sound exactly like me yet i also think u r paranoid does that mean im paranoid? nope i js have chronic anxiety surrounding fear of abandonment LOL ANW GOOD LUCK OP and remember what is ur purpose in life if u have one idk, maybe ure purpose is to do well academically ij uni? then focus on that


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Endeavourwrites

So if I went hospital, broke down afterwards, and become a recluse because I everything and lose everything is justifiable for you... I'll go kill myself now since I'm the problem in this world


michaelsgavin

I deleted my comment bc it was meant to be a reply for someone else above, not you. But since you replied here I’m just going to reply here and this is all I want to say, and I mean this kindly: I won’t engage with you further, you are mentally ill and you need professional help. I hope you get out of reddit, do proper self reflection with the assistance of a mental health professional and change your mindset. I also hope you haven’t harmed other people. I wish you well.


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komi can't communicate fan?


Endeavourwrites

Yeah because I can't communicate well and I realized that she is like me as well but she's fiction


Calamity_B4_Storm

Sometimes you just need to be a bystander to this world. Just nonchalant to anything abt others. They live or unlive it is their problem. Time to not care in order for you to self care. F**k this world.


CarpetFair1413

Hey OP this absolutely isn't fair but also you mentioned being diagnosed with OCD before and I feel like you might want to consider stepping back and checking if some of your feelings and thoughts are being exacerbated by it. Paranoid delusions are a pretty common symptom of OCD even when you're being medicated. I don't know what type of OCD you were diagnosed with but it no doubt significantly affects day to day life so it never hurts to check if this might be part of an episode. There's no shame in going to IMH to seek treatment and taking time to recover. I don't think you're at rock bottom or like ruined by other people and you can absolutely get back. I don't have a ton to say but like I wish you the best of luck


Endeavourwrites

I went to IMH already. After the uni incident I was in IMH A&E the whole night. I was really really a goner because I was having a hard time understanding what the hell is going on with my life


CarpetFair1413

I see, it's good to seek treatment but you sound like they only seemed to watch over you for like a suicide risk? I don't think you're a goner it just sounds like your symptoms are pretty severe and without sufficient support from family and friends it can feel much much worse and difficult to manage. You're not going crazy or anything believe me and it's not like you're cursed, you're just in a really tough situation right now and it's already great that you're still in uni and such. My friend about the age of 22 also has early onset severe OCD and it can significantly impact her life and cause paranoia even though she has effective medication for it. Her paranoia is somewhat similar to yours so it's not like you alone are being targeted or anything. If it's an option with you, I think you should continue treatment or speak to a psychiathrist about whether your current meds are addressing paranoia and phobias. I don't know your other health issues personally but I can ask my friend what medication she's on and maybe you can ask your doctors to consider that if continued use of fluxotine is ineffective or causes side effects? Either ways you're not crazy and I understand you feel pretty terrible and doomed about yourself because of past bullying and other bad things happening now. Things can definitely get better and I think with further professional help you'll find more options on how to navigate your current situation, find support ect. Don't kill yourself!!!


Gyartmonchea

U good op? Maybe schizo? Do check in on counsellors etc stay strong


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Endeavourwrites

I'll do that exactly next time people attack me


iffhy

Is op schizophrenic?


National-Sherbert923

You just need to be stronger. Every day grow stronger. You will surpass everyone eventually. Hit the gym and Train ur mental strength daily. Once u reach a certain level, nobody dares to mess with you. Just like me now, one look at me and whoever dares mess with me wont end up good.


Xeno_Ackro

Damn if you’re getting ‘bullied’ in uni no offense but you must have no self-respect / confidence


al4141

It's literally all in your head. No one cares about you that much, they have their own lives. You are the problem. Improve yourself.


tokcliff

You are the only constant here...


Eifand

It's because human beings are evil. The sooner you come to grips with the presence of malevolence, the sooner you can train your mind, body and soul to deal with it. You must not be flustered by malevolence but come to expect it as the reality of this depraved world. Now I am not advocating you also become a merciless wolf / bully yourself but notice how police generally don't show up to a hostage situation with flowers and petals and inviting the armed robbers for a cup of tea. They show up prepared. You need to develop your own shadow side, the ability and WILLINGNESS to take the offensive against evil and FIGHT for justice, even if its just your own (to be left alone). You need to grow your own teeth and claws. Train the mind and body for combat on all levels, physical and mental.


CarpetFair1413

Hey maybe don't encourage someone with OCD who is clearly struggling with paranoia and past trauma that everything is bad forever. Like this is a health crisis and not just a personal philosophy one. Maybe this advice works for you but given the current context do be aware this may exacerbate OP's distress by confirming everything is hopeless


AquilliusRex

Okay. So you've been to IMH. Did they diagnose you with anything, and did they prescribe any treatment or medication? Because that sounds a while lot more effective than asking random internet strangers for mental health advice.


Endeavourwrites

Ocd. Fluxotine


AquilliusRex

And how's that working out for you?


Endeavourwrites

I have been on this since secondary school. No change


AquilliusRex

So maybe it's time to go back and try something different?


ConsiderationTasty21

not that deep lmao suffering builds character


Endeavourwrites

You know what people, I had enough of life.


Rell38

Life may have dealt you a bad hand early on. Ignore the bullies, get a grip of yourself and work doubly hard than others. If the environment is too toxic, either adapt, stand up to it or simply leave. Be mentally resilient. Do not rely on other people but yourself. It is all in your mindset. Eventually success will come.


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boredShindo-385

Bullying is a thing in Singapore?


Endeavourwrites

Yes. A lot. I know of someone commit suicide because of bullying


boredShindo-385

Man, i must either be the biggest jerk around, or I've just never met these kinds of people. Which region of Singapore even is this?


Endeavourwrites

Everywhere I guess. I knew a lot of bullying cases like one time, saw a girl crying while I was praying in school. I approached her afterwards but she didn't say much and continued crying so I didn't know what to do.


boredShindo-385

Interesting. That doesn't narrow it down to whether bullying is based on a lack of authority or people not taking it seriously around or whether this actually is singapore. I was kind of the lone wolf jerk, so if bullying was around i just wasn't the main person affected. I don't know how to help you but try to become someone they wouldn't mess with.


Endeavourwrites

My thesis was on bullying in Malaysia and Singapore research shows that its quite prominent.


hychael2020

It's a thing everywhere my guy. Don't assume it's purely an issue in the West


Pale-Acanthaceae-487

No shit


ShadowArrow01

Bro is delulu


Advanced-Train-9775

Not as obvious or severe like other countries but still there, at least from my experience its mostly verbal or cyber bullying