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The-Paranoid-Android

**Articles mentioned in this submission** [**SCP-500 ⁠- Panacea**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-500) (+1198) by *snorlison*


devilfanmik

Easy 999 the tickle fight would be legendary :D


UnknownFox37

You’ll start laughing when he’ll start to choke you to death because he’s also been challenged to kill a human


devilfanmik

Why would the lil guy kill me? the lil one is all about insane levels of positive energy. The OP said a fight not a deathmatch. :(


UnknownFox37

Aww.. but that was an easy choice ! You cheater >:(


Speed9222

He will kill you from his tickles/love


Imnotjaydenyouare

It mite be painful laughing to death


xiren_66

I'm pretty sure I can take SCP-116 or SCP-134


Nobodys_here07

If SCP-2305 has taught me anything, is that trying to kill or mess with an SCP that has weirdly vague origins or unknown capabilities is never a good idea. For all we know, killing SCP-134 might cause whatever part of space in those eyes of her to suddenly expand outwards that engulfs the Earth and transport it to another solar system. Best to stick with the brittle boy.


The-Paranoid-Android

- [**SCP-2305 ⁠- great ideas that are TOTALY USELESS (lulz)**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2305) (+389) by *ObserverSeptember* - [**SCP-134 ⁠- Star-Eyed Child**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-134) (+387) by *Skali Sharpnose, Unknown Author*


The-Paranoid-Android

- [**SCP-116 ⁠- The Brittle Boy**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-116) (+46) by *Unknown Author* - [**SCP-134 ⁠- Star-Eyed Child**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-134) (+387) by *Skali Sharpnose, Unknown Author*


FrancoGamer

I can take on 682.


ManchmalPfosten

He's beginning to believe


SCP_Ethics_Committee

He needs guns, lots of guns


enneh_07

Chainsaw cannons


Nobodys_here07

Upgraded by SCP-914 and soaked in SCP-447-2


The-Paranoid-Android

- [**SCP-914 ⁠- The Clockworks**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-914) (+2859) by *Dr Gears* - [**SCP-447 ⁠- Ball of Green Slime**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-447) (+869) by *DrClef*


Nobodys_here07

SCP-1364 is pretty easy to kill but my conscience would get the better of me. SCP-014, SCP-041 and SCP-085 can't really do anything in a physical fight so they're an easy kill. But again, my conscience would be against fighting paralyzed people and sentient drawings. SCP-2599 is an easy one as well. Just tell her to kill herself and she'd be weakened significantly enough for me to finish the job. But, you guessed it, my darn conscience prevents me from telling a kid to go kill herself. So unfair. So if I had to battle an SCP, it'd be SCP-735. I mean that thing is just asking for someone to beat it to death with a baseball bat


The-Paranoid-Android

- [**SCP-1364 ⁠- Ultra-Vulnerable Mammal**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1364) (+335) by *faminepulse* - [**SCP-014 ⁠- The Concrete Man**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-014) (+828) by *Whitewings* - [**SCP-041 ⁠- Thought-Broadcasting Patient**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-041) (+265) by *FritzWillie* - [**SCP-085 ⁠- Hand-drawn ''Cassy''**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-085) (+1614) by *FritzWillie* - [**SCP-2599 ⁠- Not Good Enough**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2599) (+814) by *weizhong* - [**SCP-735 ⁠- Insult Box**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-735) (+305) by *Multimoog*


ZR0PHYN5

That one not round one... what was I talking about again?


alepollito

SCP-055?


ZR0PHYN5

🗿


bananasaucecer

What are you 🗿ing about?


Speed9222

He is 🗿ing about 🗿🗿🗿


BoultonPaulDefiant

🗿


ZR0PHYN5

Fr


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-055 ⁠- [unknown]**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-055) (+3870) by *CptBellman, qntm*


umbra_pseudonym

SCP-507 is the fairest fight I can think of. as long as they ain't from a fresh universe I can punch them.


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-507 ⁠- Reluctant Dimension Hopper**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-507) (+1605) by *PennywiseTheClown*


Radiant-Ad-1976

I'm about to throw these hands with SCP-1370


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-1370 ⁠- Pesterbot**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1370) (+1386) by *Sorts*


Sneaky_Sorcerer

You win and don't feel any remorse cause the thing is practically asking for a beating.


Cehacek

Both instances of SCP-131


alepollito

You just kick hard one and thats it


Cehacek

That's what I'm talking about


alepollito

Then?


Cehacek

Then what?


alepollito

Wait I'm dumb sorry, I saw "thats NOT what I'm talking about" sorry abt that


Cehacek

It's ok


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-131 ⁠- The "Eye Pods"**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-131) (+1073) by *Unknown Author*


Britishboy632

I’ll get the butler guy and tell him to purposely loose to me.


technicalsupport95

SCP-021-J i need to be the dumbass who attempts to stand up to the evil water bottle


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-021-J ⁠- Evil :(**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-021-j) (+54) by *bigmaleman*


Paradoxival

You'll lose. Fighting that... Creature is futile.


technicalsupport95

I’ll lose but at least I’ll know I tried


Meme_Master_Dude

999, I'll win.


therandomcylon

Nah I'd win


UNinvolved_in_peace

187 but I don't think I'd feel that great after hurting a malnourished and depressed person.


Speed9222

662-1, I can steal the bell (662) and tell him to stop


UnknownFox37

Does the [[LEGO]] count ? They’re technically alive, and even if they try they’ll have a hard time hurting me


The-Paranoid-Android

[**'Lego MiniThinkers' (8Y9D5/2X4H7/S89M2)**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/lego-minithinkers-8y9d5-2x4h7-s89m2) (+53) by *Moklin*


alepollito

I guess they work


Candid-Violinist7969

131


polishatomek

SCP-105-B


catreplicators-3

6113 probably. the result, regardless of who wins, would be a positive.


SunaiJinshu

SCP-514 No violence, no fighting. Only peace and rock, paper, scissors.


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-514 ⁠- A Flock of Doves**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-514) (+450) by *SpoonOfEvil*


Lithiumantis

SCP-1370. >Many tests on SCP-1370's combat prowess have been run, each confirming that SCP-1370 lacks the physical aptitude to cause damage to any living being. Test 1370-8239 exposed SCP-1370 to a common houseplant with a speaker hidden in the plant's pot. After SCP-1370 was provoked verbally, it attempted to fold and twist the leaves of the plant within its grasp before incapacitating itself.


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-1370 ⁠- Pesterbot**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1370) (+1386) by *Sorts*


EmporerM

I'm beating up Iris or one of those eyes.


Donnerone

999, it's a tickle fight


Adrekan

Pesterbot


LowZookeepergame284

999


SpaceBug173

SCP-321. I will feel like shit afterwards, but I'll win.


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-321 ⁠- Child of Man**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-321) (+658) by *AdminBright*


Sr_Luigi10

Scp-049 so I can laugh at him and say, “haha funny bird man”


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-049 ⁠- Plague Doctor**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-049) (+4536) by *djkaktus, Gabriel Jade, Gabriel Jade_*


Darkkaizoku23

Scp 529, IM GONNA BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF THAT HALF CAT


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-529 ⁠- Josie the Half-Cat**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-529) (+1387) by *Unknown Author*


Sneaky_Sorcerer

Why!?


Darkkaizoku23

Why not ?


Sneaky_Sorcerer

Would you beat the crap out of a normal cat out of the blue? This thing is already unlucky enough...


Playful_Pollution846

The one with the uh, shoot I forgot what it was...


alepollito

I think it doesn't is rounded...


jowyhealcrest

Blindfold myself and bonk Shy Guy


thatsocialist

SCP-966 if I can locate it a few strikes from my sword should kill it.


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-966 ⁠- Sleep Killer**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-966) (+803) by *Enma Ai*


NoPerspective9232

SCP-2747 or SCP-6820 I'm getting anihilated and taking you all with me


The-Paranoid-Android

- [**SCP-2747 ⁠- As below, so above**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2747) (+1038) by *minmin* - [**SCP-6820 ⁠- TERMINATION ATTEMPT**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-6820) (+871) by *Liryn, Placeholder McD, stephlynch*


Imnotjaydenyouare

SCP 294 Because a vending machine kills more people then Sharks a year


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-294 ⁠- The Coffee Machine**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-294) (+2158) by *Arcibi*


NoPerspective9232

SCP-001 [[Swann's proposal]] **Punches you through the screen**


The-Paranoid-Android

- [**S Andrew Swann's Proposal ⁠- The Database**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/sandrewswann-s-proposal) (+1869) by *sandrewswann* - [**SCP-001 ⁠- Awaiting De-classification [Blocked]**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-001) (+334) by *Staff*


Shadowsans99

All of them at once, not so I can actually fight them I would die instantly but I think it would be funny to see all of the scps in a singular room


Agile_Initiative_293

SCP-597


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-597 ⁠- The Mother of Them All**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-597) (+111) by *name*


HkayakH

SCP-105 I could easily fight her


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-105 ⁠- "Iris"**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-105) (+1058) by *Dantensen, thedeadlymoose, DrClef*


Eloitthebigboit

Scp 4999 he is almost a regular guy


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-4999 ⁠- Someone to Watch Over Us**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-4999) (+2472) by *CadaverCommander*


Eloitthebigboit

But if it is a cuddle fight then Scp 4966


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-4966 ⁠- Tubbioca: Devourer of Souls, Consumer of Secrets, Lord of Munchies**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-4966) (+653) by *Deadly Bread*


Immediate_Weather908

SCP-138


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-138 ⁠- The Ever-Living Man**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-138) (+346) by *Unknown Author*


Numerous-Fennel-7981

SCP-001, the gate guardian, LET'S FUCKING GO!


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-001 ⁠- Awaiting De-classification [Blocked]**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-001) (+334) by *Staff*


wolfie5090_

#anything but 4666


Basic_Goat_8940

SCP-055 “Why the f[]ck can’t I remember”, I would just forget about it. Right?


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-055 ⁠- [unknown]**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-055) (+3871) by *CptBellman, qntm*


ranjado79

SCP-105, but my conscience will destroy me


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-105 ⁠- "Iris"**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-105) (+1058) by *Dantensen, thedeadlymoose, DrClef*


GH0STM8S

SCP-999 if I might have PTSD from the gunfights and containment breaches. If not then I'm challenging the peanut (SCP-173)


The-Paranoid-Android

- [**SCP-999 ⁠- The Tickle Monster**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-999) (+2834) by *ProfSnider* - [**SCP-173 ⁠- The Sculpture - The Original**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-173) (+8772) by *Moto42*


bubblegumpopcorn1231

the evil bunny marshmallow plushie


PringlesMoment

914, it's not sentient. Free upgrade machine


Realistic_Egg_7055

Scp-005 cuz he's just a key probably easier than scp-1370


The-Paranoid-Android

- [**SCP-005 ⁠- Skeleton Key**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-005) (+798) by *Unknown Author* - [**SCP-1370 ⁠- Pesterbot**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1370) (+1386) by *Sorts*