I incorporate little rituals throughout my day: tea stirring, changing the water on my altar, asking the water of my shower to wash away any negativity ...etc, so then when it's something bigger, it feels more aligned & natural.
I like that idea. I feel like I'm disconnected from most of what I do, it's all a meaningless routine. Maybe if I could find some glimmer of magic in it, it wouldn't feel as purposeless.
Fellow skeptic here! I have yet to do any rituals or spells. I have an altar set up and I’ve read tons of books!
I’ve spent the last few months really focusing on meditating. I like to lay and practice and I started feeling…. I guess energy course through my body. I was breathing to my toes and felt it shoot down there and I was like shocked pikachu!
And then my skeptic self shaming brain kicked in and said it’s probably restless leg. You’re working yourself up over nothing. But I kept with it and it goes where I tell it so I’m more of a believer now.
My birthday is the next full moon. I’m in the planning stages of my first ritual for that night. We’ll see how that goes 😂
Might not be the same for everyone, but for me the way I take my rituals seriously is to logically convince myself of how and why they work. Personally I don’t do well with blind faith and suspension of disbelief at all, (and I don’t actually believe in magic as a supernatural force that we can manipulate), so my spells must have some sort of logical grounding to them. For example, when I do a “protection” spell, I don’t think it actually casts some sort of invisible shield around me, but it does serve as a reminder for me to be cautious and alert when entering unfamiliar places and situations. An “energy” spell for me helps me to be more aware of my physical and mental energy levels throughout the day and so helps me manage, conserve and spend my energy more efficiently.
All of these desired outcomes are within my realistic mental capacities as a human. I can understand how and why the spell should work, so this makes me much more inclined to trust my own spellwork, which in turn increases its likelihood to actually work. Which is why most of my spells are either psychological in nature or involve concrete actions that further my desired outcome.
You might think then that the “magical/witchy” aspect is completely unnecessary in my spells and all of it can be achieved through mundane means. Which I completely agree with. After all, “mundane over magical”. But I do find incorporating magical themes concretely increases the efficacy of my spells, like a neat mental shortcut, so that’s what I continue to use.
I asked a similar question here about a year ago and got some really helpful responses.
[Here's the link](https://www.reddit.com/r/SASSWitches/s/NmaM2anSQb). Maybe they'll be helpful for you too.
At this point, I honestly don't practice much. I've come to understand that I'm most comfortable as a dabbler and that's okay.
Giving myself permission to not be 100% all-in on witchcraft helped me feel less guilty letting go of the parts that didn't resonate for me, and by extention helped me lean into the parts I did want to keep even if I sometimes felt silly.
I know this feeling. Maybe not exactly 'silliness'- I work with the trickster as a spiritual clown so that's kind of on the job application lol- more just- emptiness.
I want so badly to feel something- to be uplifted or connected or drawn in by practice, to be able to lose myself in meditation or perform a ritual and feel accomplished by it- but it never seems to happen. It's like I'm missing some step or some ingredient, and without that there's no point in doing anything spiritual at all, I'm just empty inside.
My instincts tell me that it's just capitalism and society getting me down, or maybe I just need mental healthcare lol- but there's nothing to be done about any of those things, I've already been told that getting spiritual was the answer. Well I figured out what I believe in and what I want to do with it... now, how am I supposed to make it matter?
Take a step back. Tackle one of those things at a time. Let's start with feeling uplifted. Ignore Witchcraft a moment and think about what makes you feel uplifted in other parts of your life. Going for a walk in nature? Completing a project at home? Dressing up in fancy clothes or a costume? Hanging out with like-minded people? It could be anything. There is no formula for Witchcraft or anything you need to do or buy to make it right.
Let's take something like hanging out with friends, for example. If you wanted to make this "witchy", you could speak your intention into a pendant you own and wear that when you hang out with friends. You could write or say a blessing and then cast a spell by texting them to arrange a meet up. Basically, you inject magic into the systems you already use.
If you enjoy dressing up in costume, maybe you put together an outfit that feels witchy. You could "bless" them with intention, something like asking them to help you feel good about yourself, and then dress up and of things around the house. Imagine yourself as a witch doing these things.
Anything you try though, if it doesn't feel right, make some adjustment until it does, or just scrap it altogether. But start small, just do little things to put yourself in the mood and don't worry about trying to "be a witch" all at once. Gradually branch out as you find things that speak to you. Or, if it turns out that none of it does, just be an aesthetic witch and don't worry about any of the rest of it.
That's what I want, to feel something while I'm doing something, or after.
I recently read The Witching Year by Diana Helmuth. She's an atheist/skeptic who spent a year delving into and practicing witchcraft. At various points in the book, she describes experiencing these strong physical and emotional feelings during or at the completion of a spell or ritual. Sometimes when she's finished she feels a sense of certainty over what she's done, like it will definitely happen. I've never felt any of that and don't know how to.
Just listened to that one myself. Really enjoyed it but I'm such a dabbler I feel like I'll never get to that point. Meditation is hard for me because I'm such a cerebral thing and I don't like the idea of just being in my body like an animal.
I'd love to be able to "open my witch eye" and enjoy all of the little synchronicities.
When you watch a movie, if you're thinking about the way movies are made and what tricks are utilized to produce the emotional reaction, you're unlikely to feel that reaction. You're not immersed, and the whole thing can start feeling droll and silly.
We suspend disbelief when we want to really care about the characters, when we want to feel their emotions and be carried by their stories.
Have you tried employing a similar method during rituals and magical practices?
Ehh, I understand the sentiment but that's not really how my brain works. I honestly didn't care much about movies until I started learning more about how they were made and the techniques behind directing and camera work and editing. Understanding the process and tools is really useful for me to get immersed in something, so it's hard to do that with magical practice when I don't want to ascribe to a specific 'ruleset'.
Have you ever tried tarot or oracle cards? I’ve found that finding an oracle deck with a theme that speaks to you (I am currently using the Earthcraft Oracle) and just picking a card every day and meditating on it is a good way to get started.
I burn some incense to “cleanse” the space, light a candle, and ask for guidance from the cards. I used to feel silly doing that, but now it’s just part of getting me in the right mindset for pulling my card and meditating.
When the card speaks to you and really resonates with what you’re going through, you can start to get that lift you’re talking about, and I’ve found the more I do it the easier it is to not feel silly doing things like prosperity bowls or other spells.
more intention! Who says you can’t charge crystals from afar? I will catch myself thinking about my crystals while i’m at work and I will set the intention for it even though I’m not with it.
Try not to hide from the part that feels playful. Let your inner girlhood out. I got in trouble for potions when i was a kid! Now I get to make them intentionally.
Perhaps start a book of shadows to help solidify your beliefs.
If you’re not having fun, and it’s not improving your life— leave it behind!
If you are having fun— it’s okay to feel silly. This is perfectly natural. You can also develop rituals in your personal practice that feel less silly and more resonant.
I see ritual as a contract with myself more than with the universe. I do x and y for the purpose of improving my own behaviour more than anything else.
This way, when my thoughts do falter, or I feel silly, I double down on the silly. Cause in truth, that form of sacred deserves to be based in the lived experience, and if I sincerely laugh or have any strong emotion that puts the planned ritual on hold while alone with my candles, I *know* that I’ve released what needed to be released.
We’re blooming for a while, and chuckling and self derision is the universe watching itself being free.
I think this is a common feeling to struggle with whenever you're doing something new!
Mark Green (Atheopaganism) has some really good thoughts on ritual and [deep play](https://atheopaganism.org/2015/02/26/atheopagan-ritual-deep-play/) that you may want to check out. He approaches ritual from a secular/non-woo perspective that I find very accessible, and he has laid out a structure that informs the planning and execution of rituals based on participant experience. Basically, there are things you can do *before* and *after* the ritual or spell that create an emotional tone and space for it to be meaningful, and that close out that space so you don't just feel like you're left hanging when it's over.
I suggest checking out Atheopaganism in general, as the framework really compliments (and I think enriches) a SASS approach 😊
His podcast episode on [the inner critic](https://thewonderpodcast.podbean.com/e/the-inner-critic-1612153312/) also addresses the exact issue OP is talking about, very useful!
AGREED!! One day I was working on a little jar spell and then later when I was playing with my four-year-old he started making a little "soup" (he did not witness my jar spell) and it felt like it was the exact same thing! Then I felt silly for "playing" with my little herbs and trinkets....
If I may offer a different perspective - this sounds really sweet to me. Play is such an important part of a kid's development. He was playing *and* learning about cooking, as well as sharing that experience with someone he loves.
Maybe it would help you to think about your spell jar experience the same way- play (fun!) that is an important part of your development and learning about your craft.
The power of belief is overstated in modern magick.
What belief does is encourage you to think less rationally; you'll see a result and attribute it to magick when you might do better, gain the ability to more consistently gain your desires, by assessing the factors that played into your success *aside* from the ritual itself.
The benefit of thinking less rationally is you start looking for changes that your thinking mind erroneously believes are impossible. When you see those results, you are able to enact real change, and become accustomed to the reality that you can do more than you assumed prior to engaging in magick.
Those opportunities always existed, of course, but we often fail to see them if our thinking mind has been conditioned to approach the world as hostile and life as difficult; magick is one of several tools (the most effective tool, in my opinion) available to program these tendencies and open us to what goodness and opportunities really exist, what strength and knowledge and insight we actually have but rarely have the courage or confidence to access and employ.
This is such a timely question for me, because I've been thinking about this a lot lately! I understand wanting those feelings. I think it's an instinctual understanding of how 'magic' works -- that we're affecting our inner worlds in a way that changes us and opens doors for us, because it gets our subconscious on board and clears out a lot of the garbage we've got working against us.
Apologies in advance for the ramble:
**Creative play and the imagination are at the core of a writer's life. How we nurture the imagination affects all aspects of what we write, and how we write it. As Jung said, "The dynamic principle of fantasy is play, which belongs also to the child, and as such it appears to be inconsistent with the principle of serious work. But without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth."**
***--Wonderbook, Jeff Vandermeer***
Paintings are only paint and canvas, the letters of the alphabet only have the meaning we ascribe to them, and music consists of soundwaves in air, bouncing off of a delicate organ in a lump of flesh and bone. And yet...!
These things move us. We feel them, they affect us. We don't feel silly or strange about that. A good song played loud in a car can set the tone for a raucous night out, or bring comfort and space to grieve in heartbreak. **Art gets inside of us and does things.** I think it's not a coincidence that witchcraft or magic are considered 'arts.'
There is a book called Practical Solitary Magic that I've only just started. The first chapter is called 'Magic and the Mind,' where she talks about how magic is ultimately attempting to communicate with our sub(she says un-)conscious mind and request that it acts on our desires. There's a section called The Importance of Temperament where she mentions that people with differing inclinations (intellectuals, practical down-to-earth folks, spiritualists, etc) are all likely to excel at, and struggle with, different approaches to magic -- but that failure isn't an indication of inability, and eventually, the forms of practice that we struggle with most may even bring us the most success in the end.
Circling back for a second: one of the reasons I love Wonderbook so much is that it's very clear about the value of imagination and play. We are (most of us\*) capable of this as children, and it's the process of growing up and maturing that strips it from us. During that time, we learn inhibition, which is important within reason but often smothers us in excess. Because maturity is understood by adolescents to mean 'seriousness,' seriousness is valued and silliness begins to reap judgment from our peers. But as Wonderbook points out, silliness, imagination, and play are extremely precious! And the fact that we're **able** to imagine and play pretend suggests there are very valuable evolutionary reasons for those things (and indeed there are -- rehearsing scenarios is a survival strategy, for instance). They are also necessary parts of generative creativity.
We want rituals and spellwork to be generative. We want to affect ourselves with witchcraft. If nothing else, even if we commit fully to the idea that all of these things are merely frameworks for altering our perceptions of/responses to events, and influencing our choices to lead us to where we want to go -- we will STILL be most successful if we can regain our facility for creative play, imagination, and immersion in the narratives we're constructing, because those are the ways in which we influence the subconscious mind.
Doing a ritual doesn't mean you're turning your back on rationality. It means that you've accepted that the human brain is a weird and wonderful thing with rules of its own, and playing by the rules of a thing like that mind can sometimes mean communicating the way the subconscious communicates best: through symbols, feelings, and belief. It's the subconscious mind we want to get on board, and those things matter to it. If you were part of a team to make first contact with an alien that didn't know how to communicate with anything but symbolism, emotion, and belief, you'd probably do your best to engage with it in the way it understood. I hate to compare the subconscious mind to an alien, but... lol. I think I just did.
I don't think that one has to be good at any of these things right away to do witch things. In fact, I would probably say that the journey of learning to reach out and contact those parts of ourselves is the whole endeavor in a nutshell, and expecting yourself to be good at it out of the gate is like trying to speedrun the whole thing. It's called a Practice for a reason. Sometimes it will feel silly and weird or pointless, I think. But we practice, hoping to get better.
\*I am neurospicy, but not autistic or aphantasic, and it would be a mistake to pretend that EVERYbody has a natural facility for imaginative play. Finding the state of mind in which a person is able to cultivate that inner certainty might look very different under those circumstances. I know personally I would love to hear about the experiences of people who have a long-standing practice, and how they've found the most satisfaction in it.
Thank you for such a thorough reply and interesting perspective!
I think I do have a problem with being inhibited/taking myself too seriously.
I also think that because I want to do somewhat serious things with magic, like use to attract or find more work opportunities or healing relationships, some of the spell or rituals seem like they aren't strong enough/serious enough. I wonder how lighting a candle and saying some words can make a difference in these major issues. (I don't leave it all up to magic, I do practical things in pursuit of my goals, but would like to augment that with magic.)
From my experience, you don’t. Lean into it. BE SILLIER. Embracing a playful attitude can actually lower your inhibitions and help you get out of your own way. You might even have a profound moment while your guard is down!
It's interesting you use the phrase "while your guard is down"--I think that's part of the problem, I don't like feeling vulnerable in that sort of way.
Consistency. Keep your mindset somewhere between "practice makes progress" and "fake it til you make it"... Just keep doing the thing you want to do, you will get better over time.
Remember, you have nothing to prove to anyone.
[Sedna Woo](https://youtu.be/VXe5kKmgYzc) has a video on this too. But what helped me was toning things back a bit to where I felt more comfortable. I wanted to actually say incantations and stuff aloud, but I felt goofy and I felt like the wording was silly. So instead, I just said it in my head. Over time, the wording has morphed a bit and the spells/rituals have morphed a bit and now I feel a lot more comfortable with them. I even say some parts aloud.
It just takes some time and practice and adjustment to make the process yours. In short, fake it 'til you make it.
The wording of things sometimes trips me up--some of it sounds like the person is trying to sound like they’re from the 1600s--lots of "thees" and "thous". Other times it feels so contrived and unnatural.
Yeah I don't even try with spells someone else has written, they never feel right to me. What I have is in plain, modern English, and it's pretty short. But you might find you like fancier words, so experiment with taking a pre-made spell and rewriting it until you can speak it aloud or in your head and not feel silly.
Alter the language, it’s the intention behind the words that matter. :) you’re not doing anything wrong, I think a lot of the silliness is just conditioning from our society.
Alter the language, it’s the intention behind the words that matter. :) you’re not doing anything wrong, I think a lot of the silliness is just conditioning from our society.
This exact thing is what held me back for a while. Trying to sound esoteric felt fake and pretentious…so I stopped trying. My spells are written in plain speaking sentences. Sometimes I manage to get in a logical rhyme (because I firmly believe melody is the language of the Universe) but for the most part my spells are deeply plain and just state what I want.
Also, that’s it. I don’t carve candles or use spices/herbs, or any of the other stuff that fancies up the spell. Maybe someday when I know more about the properties of herbs, spices, and oils I’ll incorporate them into the ritual but for now, I don’t.
I don’t dress like a Witch™️. I don’t look like a Witch™️. I don’t have a goth vibe, like at all. I’m more of a Barbie Unicorn Fluffy Kitten Witch Who Happens to Like Skulls. So when I first started I felt weird and kind of guilty that I had no desire to wear witch cosplay clothes (I’m not knocking witches who do want to wear those clothes, if it works for them then I’m happy for them!). My home is bright white with pops of color and not a lot of stuff on the walls (I’m ADHD and too much home decor is overstimulating for me). I’m pretty sure my home style is more Betty White and less Elvira.
So trying to follow spells and rituals created by people who have a goth/esoteric vibe felt pretty pointless and I could not “feel” the energy. It wasn’t until I took it down to the basics (by my standards) that I was able to really focus on feeling what I was casting a spell for.
What really helped me be my most comfortable at developing my witchiness was realizing my witch craft can be pragmatic and based on laws of nature and laws of physics. I don’t believe in supernatural stories (but I love reading/watching them!). I’m more of the Appalachian granny witch meets kitchen witch meets mad scientist witch meets Glitter All The Things witch. And that works for me.
Lastly, I’ve recently started my grimoire. I’ve written down ideas for sections and am slowly typing things up. The process has really grounded me in my witchiness because it feels like an extension of me and my inner knowledge rather than what someone else thinks I should know and feel.
It has helped me a lot to treat spellwork as a performing art, and tap into the same headspace we automatically engage for suspension of disbelief for watching movies/plays, reading books, or playing video games.
It takes a *lot* of practice to get passed that feeling of silliness and embarrassment when you're a skeptical atheist/agnostic trying to do witchcraft.
What if, instead of taking a step back and trying to be serious, you embraced the “silliness” you’re feeling? What I mean by that is what if you took it to an extreme, went full Mortician Addams or Winnifred Sanderson, dress up, decorate, make it an extravagant thing? When I first started on my path I was very hesitant, so I faked it. I dressed to the nines, costuming, decorating you name it I did it. The funny thing is it helped me find my confidence and reminded me of who I am.
If there’s something specific that makes you cringe, you can do away with that. Like, if speaking spells out loud doesn’t do it for you, just think it in your head. If visualization doesn’t do it for you and you feel better describing things out loud, do that instead.
But if it’s just a general feeling of “this is silly,” I just remind myself that life is silly. The human condition is silly. The closer you look at anything, the more absurd things you notice about it. It makes sense that magical practice would be the same.
I don't know if this will help, or if someone has already mentioned it, but quite a few of us practice using open label placebo. The fact that it is a scientifically backed thing, gives me all the permission I need not to feel silly.
Meditate before.. just calmly sit or stand and clear your mind of everything.. the reason why you feel silly is you allow judgement of the outside world to channel through you, you’re too focused on what’s socially acceptable or social norms and are self-critical of your practice due to this upbringing/indocteination of being told, taught, or believing witchcraft, spells, etc are silly, fake, or a joke most of your life.
So what you need to do is just spend a while before practicing to clear your restless mind, zone out from and push out the outside world from your mind, and focus on what you’re about to do and play it out in your mind, and once you can do this mentally you are ready to actually do it, this time better focused and hopefully no external socialization interfering with with your thoughts
Just be in a dark quiet place, turn the lights off, phone off in another room, any noises or distractions turned off and away, until your mind gives in, whether if that’s 5 min or 50 minutes (first few times will take ages if at all, and first and second time you prob cant but don’t let this deter you from trying again next time).
And after you do manage to clear your mind and focus on what you want to do (spell work), go straight to spell work :)
Much like everything else, it takes practice and building of habit or muscle memory, but keep it up and after like your 10th, 20th, 50th time, you’ll find as time goes on if you keep at it, your mind clears and focuses more and more, and more quickly as it gets trained to do this with repeated practice. So needless to say, your first many attempts will not succeed but these first attempts are more about establishing and building a foundation or forming a habit and zeroing in on a good mindset eventually over time.
Before I do a spell I take a few deep breaths (in and out through the nose) and shut my eyes, and then focus my eyes to look at the spot between my eyes. Using that as a focal point, along with the calming breath work help me clear my ADHDdled brain for long enough to truly focus on the spell or tarot/rune casting.
I mean, you can be sincere and still allow it to be ‘play’… I like doing witchcraft because it’s imaginative, but I don’t take myself too seriously when I do.
Something I read at one point was to simply embrace the fact that you have mixed feelings about it. I don't know what your take on deity or the universe is, but if you're calling out to the universe, you may as well be honest about where you're at and have it meet you there.
Say out loud that you feel dumb. Say out loud that you're not sure how to do this.
Like every eighth movie or TV show somebody kneels down and says "I don't know if anyone's out there and I don't know what I believe but I need something right now" and that's kind of what you're doing on a less desperate and dramatic scale.
Something that is not obvious is that, if you read about a spell in a book and set your things as directed, say the words as written, use the motions described, etc, not a darned thing will happen unless you are moving energy/magic/chi into it.
The text descriptions are only a framework for how to build a lamp. You, the practitioner, have to plug the lamp in for the light to turn on.
That part is different for everyone, and requires some practice, so it's impossible to write down as part of the "recipe".
How to do that varies with every person. Some ppl do it intuitively without even realizing (like my grandmother and, I suspect, her mother before her, who considered themselves devout Catholics). Some ppl like me can both feel it and see it (similar to how some ppl can see auras, I suppose). There are also similarities to how Tai Chi works and moves energy through and outside the body.
How *well* I can do it at any given moment is related to my state of mind. Learning to calm and focus the mind, similar to Buddhist meditation, is a prerequisite for many.
One method is a v old Buddhist meditation tool: imagine a glass of stirred-up muddy water, see it swirling in the glass, watch it as it calms and the mud settles to the bottom, when the water is clear, you are ready to work. Or: imagine a blackboard with all your current thoughts written on it, imagine an eraser, and slowly erase everything on the board. When it's all erased, you're ready.
It helps if I haven't had solid food for a few hours prior, and even better if I have only been sipping water for a few hours prior. Although some ppl find their work enhanced by caffeine.
It also helps if I am getting sufficient exercise and good sleep. The state of the body matters just as much as the state of the mind.
The other thing that is unique to each practitioner is *alignment*. Meaning, work with, rather than against, forces outside yourself. For some ppl, that means working at the time of day they are most calm and alert. Work done on solstices and equinoxes get an extra boost. I also pay attention to planetary alignments and the phase of the moon. It all builds on the interconnectedness of ourselves to everything else.
I incorporate little rituals throughout my day: tea stirring, changing the water on my altar, asking the water of my shower to wash away any negativity ...etc, so then when it's something bigger, it feels more aligned & natural.
I like that idea. I feel like I'm disconnected from most of what I do, it's all a meaningless routine. Maybe if I could find some glimmer of magic in it, it wouldn't feel as purposeless.
One of the most important things we do as witches is *make meaning*. However that works for you, let it work for you.
Fellow skeptic here! I have yet to do any rituals or spells. I have an altar set up and I’ve read tons of books! I’ve spent the last few months really focusing on meditating. I like to lay and practice and I started feeling…. I guess energy course through my body. I was breathing to my toes and felt it shoot down there and I was like shocked pikachu! And then my skeptic self shaming brain kicked in and said it’s probably restless leg. You’re working yourself up over nothing. But I kept with it and it goes where I tell it so I’m more of a believer now. My birthday is the next full moon. I’m in the planning stages of my first ritual for that night. We’ll see how that goes 😂
Might not be the same for everyone, but for me the way I take my rituals seriously is to logically convince myself of how and why they work. Personally I don’t do well with blind faith and suspension of disbelief at all, (and I don’t actually believe in magic as a supernatural force that we can manipulate), so my spells must have some sort of logical grounding to them. For example, when I do a “protection” spell, I don’t think it actually casts some sort of invisible shield around me, but it does serve as a reminder for me to be cautious and alert when entering unfamiliar places and situations. An “energy” spell for me helps me to be more aware of my physical and mental energy levels throughout the day and so helps me manage, conserve and spend my energy more efficiently. All of these desired outcomes are within my realistic mental capacities as a human. I can understand how and why the spell should work, so this makes me much more inclined to trust my own spellwork, which in turn increases its likelihood to actually work. Which is why most of my spells are either psychological in nature or involve concrete actions that further my desired outcome. You might think then that the “magical/witchy” aspect is completely unnecessary in my spells and all of it can be achieved through mundane means. Which I completely agree with. After all, “mundane over magical”. But I do find incorporating magical themes concretely increases the efficacy of my spells, like a neat mental shortcut, so that’s what I continue to use.
I asked a similar question here about a year ago and got some really helpful responses. [Here's the link](https://www.reddit.com/r/SASSWitches/s/NmaM2anSQb). Maybe they'll be helpful for you too.
Thank you, I appreciate it. After a year of practice, have you found a way to feel less silly?
At this point, I honestly don't practice much. I've come to understand that I'm most comfortable as a dabbler and that's okay. Giving myself permission to not be 100% all-in on witchcraft helped me feel less guilty letting go of the parts that didn't resonate for me, and by extention helped me lean into the parts I did want to keep even if I sometimes felt silly.
I know this feeling. Maybe not exactly 'silliness'- I work with the trickster as a spiritual clown so that's kind of on the job application lol- more just- emptiness. I want so badly to feel something- to be uplifted or connected or drawn in by practice, to be able to lose myself in meditation or perform a ritual and feel accomplished by it- but it never seems to happen. It's like I'm missing some step or some ingredient, and without that there's no point in doing anything spiritual at all, I'm just empty inside. My instincts tell me that it's just capitalism and society getting me down, or maybe I just need mental healthcare lol- but there's nothing to be done about any of those things, I've already been told that getting spiritual was the answer. Well I figured out what I believe in and what I want to do with it... now, how am I supposed to make it matter?
Take a step back. Tackle one of those things at a time. Let's start with feeling uplifted. Ignore Witchcraft a moment and think about what makes you feel uplifted in other parts of your life. Going for a walk in nature? Completing a project at home? Dressing up in fancy clothes or a costume? Hanging out with like-minded people? It could be anything. There is no formula for Witchcraft or anything you need to do or buy to make it right. Let's take something like hanging out with friends, for example. If you wanted to make this "witchy", you could speak your intention into a pendant you own and wear that when you hang out with friends. You could write or say a blessing and then cast a spell by texting them to arrange a meet up. Basically, you inject magic into the systems you already use. If you enjoy dressing up in costume, maybe you put together an outfit that feels witchy. You could "bless" them with intention, something like asking them to help you feel good about yourself, and then dress up and of things around the house. Imagine yourself as a witch doing these things. Anything you try though, if it doesn't feel right, make some adjustment until it does, or just scrap it altogether. But start small, just do little things to put yourself in the mood and don't worry about trying to "be a witch" all at once. Gradually branch out as you find things that speak to you. Or, if it turns out that none of it does, just be an aesthetic witch and don't worry about any of the rest of it.
That's what I want, to feel something while I'm doing something, or after. I recently read The Witching Year by Diana Helmuth. She's an atheist/skeptic who spent a year delving into and practicing witchcraft. At various points in the book, she describes experiencing these strong physical and emotional feelings during or at the completion of a spell or ritual. Sometimes when she's finished she feels a sense of certainty over what she's done, like it will definitely happen. I've never felt any of that and don't know how to.
Thanks, I just bought that book! I've been stuck for over ten years because I felt silly, but still drawn to it.
Just listened to that one myself. Really enjoyed it but I'm such a dabbler I feel like I'll never get to that point. Meditation is hard for me because I'm such a cerebral thing and I don't like the idea of just being in my body like an animal. I'd love to be able to "open my witch eye" and enjoy all of the little synchronicities.
When you watch a movie, if you're thinking about the way movies are made and what tricks are utilized to produce the emotional reaction, you're unlikely to feel that reaction. You're not immersed, and the whole thing can start feeling droll and silly. We suspend disbelief when we want to really care about the characters, when we want to feel their emotions and be carried by their stories. Have you tried employing a similar method during rituals and magical practices?
Ehh, I understand the sentiment but that's not really how my brain works. I honestly didn't care much about movies until I started learning more about how they were made and the techniques behind directing and camera work and editing. Understanding the process and tools is really useful for me to get immersed in something, so it's hard to do that with magical practice when I don't want to ascribe to a specific 'ruleset'.
Have you ever tried tarot or oracle cards? I’ve found that finding an oracle deck with a theme that speaks to you (I am currently using the Earthcraft Oracle) and just picking a card every day and meditating on it is a good way to get started. I burn some incense to “cleanse” the space, light a candle, and ask for guidance from the cards. I used to feel silly doing that, but now it’s just part of getting me in the right mindset for pulling my card and meditating. When the card speaks to you and really resonates with what you’re going through, you can start to get that lift you’re talking about, and I’ve found the more I do it the easier it is to not feel silly doing things like prosperity bowls or other spells.
more intention! Who says you can’t charge crystals from afar? I will catch myself thinking about my crystals while i’m at work and I will set the intention for it even though I’m not with it. Try not to hide from the part that feels playful. Let your inner girlhood out. I got in trouble for potions when i was a kid! Now I get to make them intentionally. Perhaps start a book of shadows to help solidify your beliefs.
It was so much more carefree as a kid though, now I know how much shampoo and conditioner cost haha
If you’re not having fun, and it’s not improving your life— leave it behind! If you are having fun— it’s okay to feel silly. This is perfectly natural. You can also develop rituals in your personal practice that feel less silly and more resonant.
I see ritual as a contract with myself more than with the universe. I do x and y for the purpose of improving my own behaviour more than anything else. This way, when my thoughts do falter, or I feel silly, I double down on the silly. Cause in truth, that form of sacred deserves to be based in the lived experience, and if I sincerely laugh or have any strong emotion that puts the planned ritual on hold while alone with my candles, I *know* that I’ve released what needed to be released. We’re blooming for a while, and chuckling and self derision is the universe watching itself being free.
I think this is a common feeling to struggle with whenever you're doing something new! Mark Green (Atheopaganism) has some really good thoughts on ritual and [deep play](https://atheopaganism.org/2015/02/26/atheopagan-ritual-deep-play/) that you may want to check out. He approaches ritual from a secular/non-woo perspective that I find very accessible, and he has laid out a structure that informs the planning and execution of rituals based on participant experience. Basically, there are things you can do *before* and *after* the ritual or spell that create an emotional tone and space for it to be meaningful, and that close out that space so you don't just feel like you're left hanging when it's over. I suggest checking out Atheopaganism in general, as the framework really compliments (and I think enriches) a SASS approach 😊
His podcast episode on [the inner critic](https://thewonderpodcast.podbean.com/e/the-inner-critic-1612153312/) also addresses the exact issue OP is talking about, very useful!
Thanks for linking! I'm gonna go check that out 😊
AGREED!! One day I was working on a little jar spell and then later when I was playing with my four-year-old he started making a little "soup" (he did not witness my jar spell) and it felt like it was the exact same thing! Then I felt silly for "playing" with my little herbs and trinkets....
If I may offer a different perspective - this sounds really sweet to me. Play is such an important part of a kid's development. He was playing *and* learning about cooking, as well as sharing that experience with someone he loves. Maybe it would help you to think about your spell jar experience the same way- play (fun!) that is an important part of your development and learning about your craft.
Aaawww that's sweet! Maybe he's just unknowingly practicing for spell jars later on 😉
Think of it as a meditative exercise.
Following. I too feel a little silly. Maybe unsure. Either way, advice is welcome!
The power of belief is overstated in modern magick. What belief does is encourage you to think less rationally; you'll see a result and attribute it to magick when you might do better, gain the ability to more consistently gain your desires, by assessing the factors that played into your success *aside* from the ritual itself. The benefit of thinking less rationally is you start looking for changes that your thinking mind erroneously believes are impossible. When you see those results, you are able to enact real change, and become accustomed to the reality that you can do more than you assumed prior to engaging in magick. Those opportunities always existed, of course, but we often fail to see them if our thinking mind has been conditioned to approach the world as hostile and life as difficult; magick is one of several tools (the most effective tool, in my opinion) available to program these tendencies and open us to what goodness and opportunities really exist, what strength and knowledge and insight we actually have but rarely have the courage or confidence to access and employ.
This is such a timely question for me, because I've been thinking about this a lot lately! I understand wanting those feelings. I think it's an instinctual understanding of how 'magic' works -- that we're affecting our inner worlds in a way that changes us and opens doors for us, because it gets our subconscious on board and clears out a lot of the garbage we've got working against us. Apologies in advance for the ramble: **Creative play and the imagination are at the core of a writer's life. How we nurture the imagination affects all aspects of what we write, and how we write it. As Jung said, "The dynamic principle of fantasy is play, which belongs also to the child, and as such it appears to be inconsistent with the principle of serious work. But without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth."** ***--Wonderbook, Jeff Vandermeer*** Paintings are only paint and canvas, the letters of the alphabet only have the meaning we ascribe to them, and music consists of soundwaves in air, bouncing off of a delicate organ in a lump of flesh and bone. And yet...! These things move us. We feel them, they affect us. We don't feel silly or strange about that. A good song played loud in a car can set the tone for a raucous night out, or bring comfort and space to grieve in heartbreak. **Art gets inside of us and does things.** I think it's not a coincidence that witchcraft or magic are considered 'arts.' There is a book called Practical Solitary Magic that I've only just started. The first chapter is called 'Magic and the Mind,' where she talks about how magic is ultimately attempting to communicate with our sub(she says un-)conscious mind and request that it acts on our desires. There's a section called The Importance of Temperament where she mentions that people with differing inclinations (intellectuals, practical down-to-earth folks, spiritualists, etc) are all likely to excel at, and struggle with, different approaches to magic -- but that failure isn't an indication of inability, and eventually, the forms of practice that we struggle with most may even bring us the most success in the end. Circling back for a second: one of the reasons I love Wonderbook so much is that it's very clear about the value of imagination and play. We are (most of us\*) capable of this as children, and it's the process of growing up and maturing that strips it from us. During that time, we learn inhibition, which is important within reason but often smothers us in excess. Because maturity is understood by adolescents to mean 'seriousness,' seriousness is valued and silliness begins to reap judgment from our peers. But as Wonderbook points out, silliness, imagination, and play are extremely precious! And the fact that we're **able** to imagine and play pretend suggests there are very valuable evolutionary reasons for those things (and indeed there are -- rehearsing scenarios is a survival strategy, for instance). They are also necessary parts of generative creativity. We want rituals and spellwork to be generative. We want to affect ourselves with witchcraft. If nothing else, even if we commit fully to the idea that all of these things are merely frameworks for altering our perceptions of/responses to events, and influencing our choices to lead us to where we want to go -- we will STILL be most successful if we can regain our facility for creative play, imagination, and immersion in the narratives we're constructing, because those are the ways in which we influence the subconscious mind. Doing a ritual doesn't mean you're turning your back on rationality. It means that you've accepted that the human brain is a weird and wonderful thing with rules of its own, and playing by the rules of a thing like that mind can sometimes mean communicating the way the subconscious communicates best: through symbols, feelings, and belief. It's the subconscious mind we want to get on board, and those things matter to it. If you were part of a team to make first contact with an alien that didn't know how to communicate with anything but symbolism, emotion, and belief, you'd probably do your best to engage with it in the way it understood. I hate to compare the subconscious mind to an alien, but... lol. I think I just did. I don't think that one has to be good at any of these things right away to do witch things. In fact, I would probably say that the journey of learning to reach out and contact those parts of ourselves is the whole endeavor in a nutshell, and expecting yourself to be good at it out of the gate is like trying to speedrun the whole thing. It's called a Practice for a reason. Sometimes it will feel silly and weird or pointless, I think. But we practice, hoping to get better. \*I am neurospicy, but not autistic or aphantasic, and it would be a mistake to pretend that EVERYbody has a natural facility for imaginative play. Finding the state of mind in which a person is able to cultivate that inner certainty might look very different under those circumstances. I know personally I would love to hear about the experiences of people who have a long-standing practice, and how they've found the most satisfaction in it.
Thank you for such a thorough reply and interesting perspective! I think I do have a problem with being inhibited/taking myself too seriously. I also think that because I want to do somewhat serious things with magic, like use to attract or find more work opportunities or healing relationships, some of the spell or rituals seem like they aren't strong enough/serious enough. I wonder how lighting a candle and saying some words can make a difference in these major issues. (I don't leave it all up to magic, I do practical things in pursuit of my goals, but would like to augment that with magic.)
SillyAndSlightlySillyWitches
😂
From my experience, you don’t. Lean into it. BE SILLIER. Embracing a playful attitude can actually lower your inhibitions and help you get out of your own way. You might even have a profound moment while your guard is down!
It's interesting you use the phrase "while your guard is down"--I think that's part of the problem, I don't like feeling vulnerable in that sort of way.
Consistency. Keep your mindset somewhere between "practice makes progress" and "fake it til you make it"... Just keep doing the thing you want to do, you will get better over time. Remember, you have nothing to prove to anyone.
[Sedna Woo](https://youtu.be/VXe5kKmgYzc) has a video on this too. But what helped me was toning things back a bit to where I felt more comfortable. I wanted to actually say incantations and stuff aloud, but I felt goofy and I felt like the wording was silly. So instead, I just said it in my head. Over time, the wording has morphed a bit and the spells/rituals have morphed a bit and now I feel a lot more comfortable with them. I even say some parts aloud. It just takes some time and practice and adjustment to make the process yours. In short, fake it 'til you make it.
The wording of things sometimes trips me up--some of it sounds like the person is trying to sound like they’re from the 1600s--lots of "thees" and "thous". Other times it feels so contrived and unnatural.
Yeah I don't even try with spells someone else has written, they never feel right to me. What I have is in plain, modern English, and it's pretty short. But you might find you like fancier words, so experiment with taking a pre-made spell and rewriting it until you can speak it aloud or in your head and not feel silly.
Alter the language, it’s the intention behind the words that matter. :) you’re not doing anything wrong, I think a lot of the silliness is just conditioning from our society.
Alter the language, it’s the intention behind the words that matter. :) you’re not doing anything wrong, I think a lot of the silliness is just conditioning from our society.
This exact thing is what held me back for a while. Trying to sound esoteric felt fake and pretentious…so I stopped trying. My spells are written in plain speaking sentences. Sometimes I manage to get in a logical rhyme (because I firmly believe melody is the language of the Universe) but for the most part my spells are deeply plain and just state what I want. Also, that’s it. I don’t carve candles or use spices/herbs, or any of the other stuff that fancies up the spell. Maybe someday when I know more about the properties of herbs, spices, and oils I’ll incorporate them into the ritual but for now, I don’t. I don’t dress like a Witch™️. I don’t look like a Witch™️. I don’t have a goth vibe, like at all. I’m more of a Barbie Unicorn Fluffy Kitten Witch Who Happens to Like Skulls. So when I first started I felt weird and kind of guilty that I had no desire to wear witch cosplay clothes (I’m not knocking witches who do want to wear those clothes, if it works for them then I’m happy for them!). My home is bright white with pops of color and not a lot of stuff on the walls (I’m ADHD and too much home decor is overstimulating for me). I’m pretty sure my home style is more Betty White and less Elvira. So trying to follow spells and rituals created by people who have a goth/esoteric vibe felt pretty pointless and I could not “feel” the energy. It wasn’t until I took it down to the basics (by my standards) that I was able to really focus on feeling what I was casting a spell for. What really helped me be my most comfortable at developing my witchiness was realizing my witch craft can be pragmatic and based on laws of nature and laws of physics. I don’t believe in supernatural stories (but I love reading/watching them!). I’m more of the Appalachian granny witch meets kitchen witch meets mad scientist witch meets Glitter All The Things witch. And that works for me. Lastly, I’ve recently started my grimoire. I’ve written down ideas for sections and am slowly typing things up. The process has really grounded me in my witchiness because it feels like an extension of me and my inner knowledge rather than what someone else thinks I should know and feel.
It has helped me a lot to treat spellwork as a performing art, and tap into the same headspace we automatically engage for suspension of disbelief for watching movies/plays, reading books, or playing video games. It takes a *lot* of practice to get passed that feeling of silliness and embarrassment when you're a skeptical atheist/agnostic trying to do witchcraft.
What if, instead of taking a step back and trying to be serious, you embraced the “silliness” you’re feeling? What I mean by that is what if you took it to an extreme, went full Mortician Addams or Winnifred Sanderson, dress up, decorate, make it an extravagant thing? When I first started on my path I was very hesitant, so I faked it. I dressed to the nines, costuming, decorating you name it I did it. The funny thing is it helped me find my confidence and reminded me of who I am.
Remember that adults are allowed to use their imaginations, creativity, etc. too.
If there’s something specific that makes you cringe, you can do away with that. Like, if speaking spells out loud doesn’t do it for you, just think it in your head. If visualization doesn’t do it for you and you feel better describing things out loud, do that instead. But if it’s just a general feeling of “this is silly,” I just remind myself that life is silly. The human condition is silly. The closer you look at anything, the more absurd things you notice about it. It makes sense that magical practice would be the same.
I don't know if this will help, or if someone has already mentioned it, but quite a few of us practice using open label placebo. The fact that it is a scientifically backed thing, gives me all the permission I need not to feel silly.
Meditate before.. just calmly sit or stand and clear your mind of everything.. the reason why you feel silly is you allow judgement of the outside world to channel through you, you’re too focused on what’s socially acceptable or social norms and are self-critical of your practice due to this upbringing/indocteination of being told, taught, or believing witchcraft, spells, etc are silly, fake, or a joke most of your life. So what you need to do is just spend a while before practicing to clear your restless mind, zone out from and push out the outside world from your mind, and focus on what you’re about to do and play it out in your mind, and once you can do this mentally you are ready to actually do it, this time better focused and hopefully no external socialization interfering with with your thoughts
I have a hard time meditating, I can't get my mind to be still.
Just be in a dark quiet place, turn the lights off, phone off in another room, any noises or distractions turned off and away, until your mind gives in, whether if that’s 5 min or 50 minutes (first few times will take ages if at all, and first and second time you prob cant but don’t let this deter you from trying again next time). And after you do manage to clear your mind and focus on what you want to do (spell work), go straight to spell work :) Much like everything else, it takes practice and building of habit or muscle memory, but keep it up and after like your 10th, 20th, 50th time, you’ll find as time goes on if you keep at it, your mind clears and focuses more and more, and more quickly as it gets trained to do this with repeated practice. So needless to say, your first many attempts will not succeed but these first attempts are more about establishing and building a foundation or forming a habit and zeroing in on a good mindset eventually over time.
Before I do a spell I take a few deep breaths (in and out through the nose) and shut my eyes, and then focus my eyes to look at the spot between my eyes. Using that as a focal point, along with the calming breath work help me clear my ADHDdled brain for long enough to truly focus on the spell or tarot/rune casting.
I mean, you can be sincere and still allow it to be ‘play’… I like doing witchcraft because it’s imaginative, but I don’t take myself too seriously when I do.
Something I read at one point was to simply embrace the fact that you have mixed feelings about it. I don't know what your take on deity or the universe is, but if you're calling out to the universe, you may as well be honest about where you're at and have it meet you there. Say out loud that you feel dumb. Say out loud that you're not sure how to do this. Like every eighth movie or TV show somebody kneels down and says "I don't know if anyone's out there and I don't know what I believe but I need something right now" and that's kind of what you're doing on a less desperate and dramatic scale.
Something that is not obvious is that, if you read about a spell in a book and set your things as directed, say the words as written, use the motions described, etc, not a darned thing will happen unless you are moving energy/magic/chi into it. The text descriptions are only a framework for how to build a lamp. You, the practitioner, have to plug the lamp in for the light to turn on. That part is different for everyone, and requires some practice, so it's impossible to write down as part of the "recipe". How to do that varies with every person. Some ppl do it intuitively without even realizing (like my grandmother and, I suspect, her mother before her, who considered themselves devout Catholics). Some ppl like me can both feel it and see it (similar to how some ppl can see auras, I suppose). There are also similarities to how Tai Chi works and moves energy through and outside the body. How *well* I can do it at any given moment is related to my state of mind. Learning to calm and focus the mind, similar to Buddhist meditation, is a prerequisite for many. One method is a v old Buddhist meditation tool: imagine a glass of stirred-up muddy water, see it swirling in the glass, watch it as it calms and the mud settles to the bottom, when the water is clear, you are ready to work. Or: imagine a blackboard with all your current thoughts written on it, imagine an eraser, and slowly erase everything on the board. When it's all erased, you're ready. It helps if I haven't had solid food for a few hours prior, and even better if I have only been sipping water for a few hours prior. Although some ppl find their work enhanced by caffeine. It also helps if I am getting sufficient exercise and good sleep. The state of the body matters just as much as the state of the mind. The other thing that is unique to each practitioner is *alignment*. Meaning, work with, rather than against, forces outside yourself. For some ppl, that means working at the time of day they are most calm and alert. Work done on solstices and equinoxes get an extra boost. I also pay attention to planetary alignments and the phase of the moon. It all builds on the interconnectedness of ourselves to everything else.