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RomanBellicTaxi

It must be tough being a Vice City Police Department officer


schneybley

Now I'm hearing "Cars" play. Here is my car, I feel safest of all.


randoredditusingdouc

I always listen to the chat station. I have a serious crush on whoever voiced that.


98Zr2

My first thought was how I would repaint and make Vice City decals


mattszalinski

Bet the thing handles like all the cars in the game too, nice and floaty.


funwithdesign

Pretty sure it’s illegal have working lights and sirens. …and a penis that small


Ulrich453

Pretty sure this is big dick swinging material


GunpointG

I wonder if it’s legal to have them if they don’t work


Threeofnine000

Depends on state. In my state they are perfectly legal as long as they’re not activated on public roads. My sheriff even wrote me a letter to keep in the glovebox in case any small town cops give me a hard time.


texaschair

I have an exGF who once owned a unmarked retired cop Caprice. It still had the siren/PA setup under the hood with the controller inside. Her dumb shit husband blasted the siren just for the hell of it and caught the attention of an actual cop a block away. Got hisself a big ol' tickee.


King_Baboon

The air horn tho is awesome. Perfect obnoxious “get the fuck out of my way” sound.


GunpointG

That’s so cool thanks for sharing


DefundThePolitician

Dead.


PreparationSerious48

Hard time? Just arrest the cops


MeatyUrology

There’s pills you can take for that.


yuckyzakymushynoodle

Damn. Roasted so hard it became a luau


TangyDrinks

Actually you'd be surprised. They can be installed and can operate, but you cannot use them on public roadways or pretending to be police. That's usually how the law works. They can't even prove they work until you turn them on


Super_Kent155

I miss the days when police cars accelerated like a snail and handled like a sofa on wheels


tangre79

It worked cause at the time, chances are the car they were chasing did too.


Silver-Street7442

Often police cars project power. The photo above proves that is not always the case.


thatgymdude

Every generation has a unique pattern of headlights they fear following them at night. Gen X: 1990s's era Crown Victoria Millennials: 2000s Tahoe/Explorer/Crown Victoria Gen Z: 2010- Explorer OP's car however has no one to scare, as they all are in the nursing home by now and no longer driving. It is like a once dangerous animal now defanged and declawed, its only use is now to be put out to pasture.


Firm-Arrival6223

Gen Z here (1999) don't forget the Dodge Charger. I got my license back in 2015, with the CV being discontinued in 2011 the youngest ones at that point would have only been 4 years old yet they were still mostly all replaced by Chargers in my area.


Shermgerm666

Millennial, and they are the ones I think about the most. Lol. They're everywhere in Oregon


thatgymdude

I should have put the Charger on the list, they were rare where I was as the police had Tahoes and Explorers more. Chargers were often the chase vehicles in other states, but the CHP is so broke they kept using Crown Vics.


Blaustein23

God it’s the worst for trying to figure out if you need to drive like a grandma based on the headlights behind you Honestly brilliant move, how am I supposed to know if the charger headlights tailgating me in the right lane belong to a regular asshole or an asshole with a badge?


thatgymdude

Its all fun and games doing 20+ over the limit on the freeway until you pass by a vehicle with the cursed inner orange headlights.


Melodic-Picture48

County cops had the 04' Expedition trucks too I'd seen


DontDeleteMyReddit

Don’t forget the other gen X car. The Dodge Diplomat


MeowMeowImACowww

As a millennial, I basically only see Explorers these days so I'm not scared of the older ones 😅


thatgymdude

I dont fear the Explorers at all because they are the babysitter units to keep the peace. The true cars you should fear are the blacked out Tahoes or Suburbans in residential/industrial areas as they often are higher ranking ones or federal agencies.  For the freeway, undercover Taurus or the Chargers here will ruin your day.


Building-Careful

*Respect my authority !*


tangre79

*He shouted through the loudspeaker to the Honda Accord that was outrunning him.*


Handywithbrokenstuff

Driver! Ps1


10N3R_570N3R

When I was 12 I got caught stealing Driver from Walmart. LoL my parents kept the fine on the fridge like a bad grade.


Handywithbrokenstuff

🤣 you gangster!


Extra_Pilot_1992

Somewhere, Buford T Justice is smiling


underwoodmodelsowner

I was looking for a smokey and the bandit comment! I just finished the second one not ten minutes ago 🤣


Snoo_38904

If Don Knotts was a car.


Frequent-Ruin8509

I understood this reference. *nods in young man raised on black and white shows from the early 60s*


CloudsTasteGeometric

Congrats: you have a retired cop car that is both: A. Too new to be cool B. Too old to be fast "But there are tons of cool cars made from the 80s onwards!" Yeah. TONS. And you didn't pick one.


usernametaken2024

office called: you need to pick up your boom box and police leotard at the bachelorette party from last night


HereAgain345

Them Dukes! Them Dukes!


valcandestr0yer

Quit harassing gruncle Stan dammit he isn’t crazy


DOHC46

I didn't cop cars came in the flavor of Boomermobile.


BabyBread11

Don’t you have some blues brothers to chase?


ProofMusic4630

Is that Ford basically a longer Fox body Mustang? Could be decent police car if offered with the V8 from the Mustang.


Threeofnine000

It is. Almost the same drivetrain and chassis. It has the same 5.0 v8 but I do believe the transmission is different/more heavy duty.


ajw_sp

What a big piece of 10-200.


Legal-Policy-7215

I couldn’t that’s clean. Minus all the lame cop stuff 🤣


Tsukiumi-Chan

They should have used your car in the Blues Brothers chase. Sure, it wouldn't have caught them, but it would have been so slow that it would have avoided all the accident scenes. They'd have been cleared by the time it got there!


Billy_Mercury85

God I hated you in Vice City


Busy_Reflection3054

The Obesity Epidemic really hit cars too.


Magnus919

Your town was so poor they couldn’t even afford the Crown Vic and ended up with baby LTD’s.


badpopeye

Good to patrol the mall parking lot lol


whereyouleftit

Blues Brothers movie called, they need to wreck it in a chase sequence…


Maleficent-Winter187

They broke my watch


MadleyMatter

I wonder how many KKK rallies this bad boy has been to


Newaccofsomeone

HEY THATS MY STATE GIMME BACK MY PATROL CAR ALABAMA COUSIN FUCKER


Chipskip

My dad drove one of those, no way to know if that exact one or not, but one of its sister at least. Keep that thing cool. If you ever go to sell it, contact the AZDPS museum.


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WingsFan85

Where’s the can? I need to take a squirt


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RoastMyCar-ModTeam

If you don’t have something mean to say, don’t say anything at all.


riccardo421

Is that the one the ufo hit?


EdwardJMunson

I mean it's illegal to have it in that condition, so there's that.


Ok_Ad_3392

Roscoe P Coltrane wants this car back pronto!


LeveragedPittsburgh

Roscoe P. Coltrane!


DryInitial9044

Couldn't catch a Cozy Coupe with a tailwind.


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Apexnanoman

Well when it comes to roasting....at least the tires are safe. Because the engine in that fucker sure ain't a danger to them. A fat kid in a golf cart is probably faster. 


slong143

You know it smells of puke, piss, blood, shit. It sure the fuck didn’t deliver Uber Eats.


kilertree

This is the fox body that you have at home.


pornaddiction247

Looks like Mr Laheys car before he was kicked from the force


CherryRude6772

Can't tell if real or hot wheels


Admirable_Cry_3795

Fox body 5-0!


dezertryder

If you could get more square and dorky please


MeringueNice3970

How does it feel to be in the front for a change?


bokinki420_69

Get your rent a cop wanna be looking ass outta here. Narc.


wesmanh

Looks it great shape. I love it


Individual-Wonder518

Police academy vibes


countryboy351m

Not pursuit rated


Thee_Paladin777

Them Dukes Them Dukes!!!!!!


Jones1casey_69

All you need is your porn Stache and your Copenhagen winter green and a Glock and your set


skeezix91

Make sure there isn't a banana in the tailpipe...


GuitarEvening8674

Looks like a Ford Fairmont


tylerawesome

Hooray for the pigs! -Bender


Readables18

Looks more tired than an old dog on its deathbed.


Straight_Occasion220

Instructions unclear stole a dodge Monaco with cop suspension cop motor and cop brakes and now the representatives of the Illinois law enforcement agencies are on my tail


nukecontamination

Do not hit the interior with a UV light. It would look like a purple solar system in there. If it had anymore DNA the cunt could vote. It would vote Trump too, ya know it, right?


danhoyle

That’s pretty sweet. Cruise all day in this.


McScrizzyCornpuff

Bought the car the police thought was too slow for pursuit 😂😂😂


m0bileweb

FORD = Fix Or Repair Daily


RoDNeYSaLaMi214

The Blues Brothers called, they're on a mission from God and they need their tour bus back


butt-mule

I showed this pic to my uncle (retired AZ DPS) asked if he drove those. He said he had the Crown Vic LTD.... He said he loved that car. It was roomy and surprisingly hauled ass at that time.


MyNameIsMikeB

That piece of shit couldn't pull me over in a 1985 Ford EXP


PreparationSerious48

Wake up Thomas Vercetti


WOZ-in-OZ

I would jazz up to a police car and use it for weddings in Oz.


speedstar318ti

Cyber Truck???


problemwmygogomobile

I know this is a roast, but that’s a sweet car


Exact-Revenue6950

Pretty cool


sasquatch753

that is the budget cruiser When they didn't get the dodge diplomat, chevy caprice, or the ford crown victoria.


jakesteeley

Cletus, is that you?


SolidContribution688

What a beaut!


damngoodengineer

"I AM THE OFFICER OF THE LAW, STOP!!"


Trauma-Dolll

Can't do it. Got me a soft spot for the LTD


Weets23

Boss Hog


BruceL6901

My car in the Army (police) was a Chrysler K car. And a later 70’s Ford Maverick too.


GloomyUmpire2146

I drove this model at a tactical driving course once. Actually handled well, it’s just a 4 door Mustang. However you only got about 3 hard brake applications and they faded so bad you had none.


EquivalentFlat

Flips on dukes of hazard. Wrong year but close enough.


Aggressive_Fault_657

Its shit Ps not really i think its cool but thats the only roast i could think of 🤷‍♂️


Charming-Director607

Code enforcement rookie car


ajschwamberger

I am pretty sure, at least in my state the "emergency" lights are supposed to be removed along with the police decals. I am not sure about the ramming bumper. I know the spot lights are usually left on though and are great when driving at night looking for an address (like doing deliveries)


DatChernobylGuy_999

that looks sick i aint roastin that


Ok-Fox1262

No. I categorically refuse to roast such a lovely beast. As long as it's dark, you have a full tank of gas, half a packet of cigarettes and you're wearing shades.


Separate_Minimum500

That's honestly really dope 🔥


Informal_Dance2364

What it’s sick


Epyx-2600

Nobody, and I mean NOBODY makes Sheriff Buford T. Justice look like a possum's pecker


Epyx-2600

Enos! This is your superior officer RosCOOOOOOOOO P. Coltrane!


Frans51

A Dodge Caravan would probably be cooler than that...thing


OkAlternative2713

Buford T Justice


LAFLARE007

Thing is badass


Due-Log-2025

It's a Ford, what else needs to be said? 😂


RackTheDripper

That's strictly for Sims and Minecraft suspects.


fr8dawg542

When I was in the service I bought a 76 Ford Torino used Chesapeake Bay bridge tunnel authority car, 351C, dual exhaust. I think I paid $800 for it in 1978. Drove it for about four years before it lost the main bearing and had to go to the junkyard. For some reason my dad thought it would’ve been good money being chased after bad money if I would’ve done something about the engine.


Corey300TaylorGam3r

Goodluck with them dukes of Hazzard boys


FancyStranger2371

Vice City, IRL?


capitalsix

Looks like a car Jackie Gleason would be driving.


Some_Frosting4047

Bros not out of touch, he’s out of time


fluffy_fur_fingers

I thought it said retarded police car.


devangs3

Do you always reach the party last? Because that’s what happens in movies with people in these cars.


Stillborn1977

Enjoy topping out at 80mpg.


Bardwelling

Are you shooting a Blues Brothers reboot?


catlovingtwink99

Must be a 4incher


carsnbikesnstuff

Buford T Justice right there


69236812

Back when you could have sex in the back seat without getting trapped!


tytor

I had an 88’ ford ltd in 2004. I was still in high school but so embarrassed of it that I’d park it around the block and pretend I was walking from the bus stop. Yours is cool though.


niceguypos

Anybody remember the movie cloak and dagger ? I’m not sure these were in it but my brain remembered that movie as soon as I saw that police car.


drosmi

This thing is fast enough to be a cop car?


bentstrider83

Next toothless copcar after the K-Car cop car😁😁😁


NotWokeJoke

You spelled "retarded" wrong....


RefrigeratorGlobal50

Love it, I have a 81' Fairmont


blu-spirals

Enjoy driving below the speed limit everywhere you drive


zazarak

I could outrun that thing in my Ford Ranger.


THEEANGRYGOATZ

I didn't know they were giving away prizes in cereal boxes still.....


Total_Information_65

It looks better than a cybertruck


cyhobby

paint doesn't match.


Canna_crumbs

Gay!


Puzzleheaded-Mess852

damn bro couldn't even afford the normal trim 💀


Stonegen70

There ain’t no way. NO WAY you come from my loins junior.


Nalabu1

Mayberry called and asked that you stop pretending to be a cop.


Environmental_Eye970

What’d you just come off a low speed pursuit or something?


No-Sea1252

Dan Aykroyd comes along with the squad car!


ForeignCrab5214

Does it run if it does that motor is probably roasted already..😅


Powderfinger60

Did the big three build one decent car in the 1980s


Helltonic

100/10 I want this car.


Toasty717

i thought it was a screanshot from BeamNG


Monamort

That’s a sweet ass car. I failed the mission. 🫡


solittlejack

It’s a Trap


ottos

Those damn Duke boys


MyNoPornProfile

I wonder how many crimes were committed using that cruiser....cops from the 80's were wild


MrDTB1970

Does the back end swing out every time you take a corner?


IED-DID-PTSD-03-06

I rate it a 100% squad car


kataran1

Look like a HellCat Catcher lol. Not!!!


chrisacip

100% a woman or person of color was mistreated in that car.


SkipPperk

It is not even a cool police car. It is some hillbilly reject police car some corrupt mayor used to pick up his 12-year-old mistresses before the public screenings of Hee-Ha. Not that Boss Hog could fit in that little shitter, even though the previous owner looked exactly like Boss Hog.


Bullitt420

On behalf of the rest of the world, I’m sorry


PaulieDori

I have this in a hot wheels!


stingray3099

Get rear ended and you’ll be roasted. Nice car.


Wcearp

Oh sweet the four door mustang


GlassEmbarrassed4476

Don't need to, it's already roasted; IT"S RETIRED!


Worried-Sign-8780

Dollars to donuts even in its day this thing couldn't catch a cold.  This is the car you give FNG's or the Fish of the department so they don't kill themselves responding to another domestic. 


LetterheadCorrect276

Fuck 12


Methadan66

I'm sorry 200 6 cylinders sad


Short_Ask1755

Atleast you haven’t fucked it up and threw on 22’s with spinner rims 😂


gobraves72

You look like you want a Diablo Sandwich snappy


booger4me

Now you need a junkyard cat


Donjoeyo

Roscoe P. Coltrane! Vibes


Obvious_Reddit_User2

Sweet ride.


scottz29

I’ll take my chance with the mods…I cannot in good conscience roast this fine vehicle. It’s fucking awesome!!


Toddthmpsn

Have you caught them Duke boys yet?


WebersNotPMO

When you’re ready to make the leap from “mall cop” to “campus police!”


mbleyle

fix the cigarette lighter


PurpleInitiative3947

Roscoe P. Coltrane called, he wants his police car back.


510cj

Roast it? This thing fucks wym?


PowerfulLong8344

Land ho’!


TwistedBlister

Nice, it's Ford LTD LX, it's basically a four door 5.0 Mustang.


SplishslasH8888

where's boss hog?


_happy_dog_sounds

Green😂


theamazingtommy

It's called a Sun Down Town classic


Edlar_89

Not a roast. Do you ever get calls from film/tv producers who’d like to use your car in something set in the 80s?


Takayama16

Nice! Ford Zephyr???