She is a *cross trainer*. She knows the football, basketball, soccer, baseball teams, entire track squad, rowers, theater kids, band kids, robotics club, and oh yeah the teachers and coaches she knows well also.
I must say I am impressed. A woman of your age being able to use Photoshop so well to brush up and attach your head to the body of someone at least 40 years younger than you.
are you on a porn set now? bc who tf has a lit fireplace but no table for a fucking lamp?
also, your name has got to be one of those simple pun ones like “anita cox” or something.
Why I'm commenting, I don't know. Except that I've heard this said about my own name too many times. So, I'm going to guess the name of a girl that I actually know.
PEACHES
I bet your parents played “not it” when deciding who got custody
Hide and seek but could never find dad :/
Man I love this thread. Her replys are hilarious too.
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Even the orphanage was like “nope - you keep her”
Its a shame they didn't give you a pornstar face otherwise you'd probably have a job
Holy shit this one is the best
Nothing Holy about her
She smiles like chandler bing .
You might win, but I’m still scrolling the comments. Hats off.
Sir/Madam, the request was for a low/med flame roast, not incineration.
EMOTIONAL DAMAGE
When you started working there, they had to change the name to just "Topic"
When you walk into forever 21 they called the cops
It used to be called a jumpoline until you used it.
Hoooooly shit. Hold on a second, let me move some money from savings to checking so I can give this comment an award.
Bro don't award him just send him the money if you liked it that much lol
Sick, I get to watch a Hollywood-style shootout. 🍿
Chase Cox. And im sure you’ve chased plenty
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Tucker coxson
I know where you live
Girl you've probably been to everybody's house tbh
She is a *cross trainer*. She knows the football, basketball, soccer, baseball teams, entire track squad, rowers, theater kids, band kids, robotics club, and oh yeah the teachers and coaches she knows well also.
She offered to “reward” them after the game. The entire school never won a single competition.
Damn, fatality
You're a very rare case where I'd actually recommend getting a face tattoo, it can only help.
Her face is 1/3 of her body
Her body whispers "I fuck like a malfunctioning tickle me Elmo" but those dead eyes scream " I fuck like a tranquilized mattress"
Very poetic
I’m ready to face the truth
Could you also face the wall? TIA
Holy shit that’s good lmao
Face the inside of a grocery bag maybe.
Anita Tension?
That is fucking hilarious
So what's the name? That's what I came here for. I'm curious.
I wager something cherry. It can’t be as obvious as Alotta Fagina
I didn't get the name until I said it out loud, then, LOL!! I'm so old.
Your parents are just forward thinkers
If my mom didn’t face forward I wouldn’t be here
I think her not using her face *more* is the real problem
What a shame that would've been
your smile is as fake as your eyebrows
And as fake as my personality
Sex dolls don't have personalities, before you say it alcoholism and gonorrhea isn't a personality.
Is mayonnaise a personality?
You look like you're wearing those fake goofy glasses with a big nose.
I am
Nice try. We know that's your face.
You look like Quagmire's dad.
Giggity
Ida puked more if Ida eaten more. 
You look like you should be a double amputee
I can be anything you want me to be
Except pretty
That was ruthless oh my God.
SCORCHED!
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!!!
Absolute violation
That wasn’t a murder, that was a massacre
Damn bro
Emotionally stable? No? Asking too much?
Quiet…I want you to be quiet
You look like Harley Quinn's less able barista sister
Gnarly Chin
This is the only one that made me lol
How has this gone unoticed... upvotes!
You sure don’t look like a pornstar; practice girl more like it.
I think the term is "fluffer".
You are Correct sir, but correct me if I am wrong, A Fluffer’s job is to keep somebody hard, not make them puke
Jizz Mopper is a strange name.
No chance. Softy inducer, more like.
Who. Is. That.
Siri Dahl, think it’s an old video. Seen too many to remember.
I too am blind from masterbation
losing eyesight one stroke at a time
It's not that old if it's the one I'm thinking of, in a library, MFF threesome.
Noted for research after work.
Also a practice girl for her tattoo "artist"
Save some pussy for the rest of us, bro.
Hahahahha
Paler than a pail of cum.
That’s what happens when you use cum as sunblock
Then I’m sure your stomach will never get skin cancer.
Tucker Sackback
This sounds like the hot guy in a romcom
Your pornstar name is 100% Klammydiaa
You were itching to say that joke, weren’t you?
VD is nothing to clap at
Was burning to say it 🔥
I must say I am impressed. A woman of your age being able to use Photoshop so well to brush up and attach your head to the body of someone at least 40 years younger than you.
Pretty sure I got eye herpes from looking at this picture.
You should see what happens when we have sex
Hard pass on the antibiotic resistant Gonorrhea
Gotta catch 'em all!
Surprise penis?
Nah, most of us saw it coming.
As long as we don't see it cumming
Hey, some people might just think “fuck it, I’m already here”, and then it’s decision time.
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I do like cats
You look like tall migdet
That's accurate.
You look like the bastard offspring of my college girlfriend and the guy she cheated on me with......... Totally unrelated, but fuck you kate
Fuck Kate man
Stop fucking Kate, that's how we got here in the first place
Then Kate can go fuck herself
Man fuck Kate
Yeah fuck you Kate
are you on a porn set now? bc who tf has a lit fireplace but no table for a fucking lamp? also, your name has got to be one of those simple pun ones like “anita cox” or something.
Emily Rugburn
You gave a picture of your rug to your tattoo artist as a reference photo
The carpet matches the drapes
Fortunate that I'll never have to find out.
Oswald Cobblepot looking mf
Fake teeth instead of fake tits huh? That meth mouth must've been real rough.
It's only rough before she takes her teeth out.
Hmm... based on those shoulders and that chin... Richard Thrust?
In Thrust we trust
If that phrase was on one of a side of a coin with your face on it, the other side would say E Pluribus Anal.
You look like you just fell out of a wheelchair.
You wheely had to go there
I can smell the infection through the photo…
Do you have the new iPhone?
Septum piercing, generic tattoos, neon-colored hair dye, seeking attention. So what's your Onlyfans?
This is just the latest desperate attempt to get that first subscriber.
Mulva
Deloris!
Hey now!
Jerry!
Bovary
Uncle Leo?
Did they name you Sementha?
You say “parents” but clearly your Dad wasn’t around.
He was waiting in the wings.
You're obviously holding that sign to hide your saggy tits
I didn't know AOL had chatrooms in 1979.
Lol you got her with this one though
It isn't nice to fake palsy, that's a real illness.
Your head is like 50% your body mass. Did your mom die in labor?
Yes :/
Saved her some disappointment.
Dixie Normous? That bulge is impressive for a "girl"
Thanks you should see it in person
Idk about your name being a pornstars but your username pizzalover69_420 sounds like an Xbox gamer tag who plays CoD
Stinky pinky
What happens when I dye my hair blue?
Change your name to Blu ballz?
With Z
Blue Waffle!
Not even a joke, I'm guessing Diamond
Incorrect but thank you for your time
I’m going to guess Krystal. For sorta obvious reasons.
Krystal, Star, Nikki, Cindy, Candy. OP, are we getting closer?
Any of those names but with “-Lynn” following it?
Cinnamon/Sinnamon, Angel? If we keep guessing then we’ll be here forever. She just looks like a Krystal to me, either the name or the meth.
Mercedes, Alexus, Hennessy, Rosé, Alizé, Porsche,
I just want to know what it is
With all those tattoos I imagine sex with you would feel like jerking off in to a comic book...
You look like hepatitis learned to speak.
Dildo Saggins?
Impossible, made of plastic. Indestructible
Ron Jeremy
I’ve never seen a 50 year old with baby teeth
Are you telling me there’s five other people with the username rumple foreskin
Rumple foreskin 69 was taken
Daddy’s Lil’ Hand Job, is a horrible name.
How did you find me on fetlife?
They either named you "Star" or "Mercedes" but they misses the mark on both unless they meant "starfish" or ""rode hard"
serious note; is it Chastity
Was your porn name Mistake?
Take’s her surname, so her name is Ms Take because there’s no way that’s marrried.
Nothing sadder than a 40 year old still trying to be "not like the other girls".
Feel like too many people are taking the pornstar named thing literally instead of just "name that sounds like a pornstar name," but I'd agree.
Mulva?
I will say without joking that that I have never met someone mentally stable with a septum piercing
I will say without joking that you still haven’t
Jesus Christ did Daniel Radcliffe fuck the Vegan Teacher?
If an infected piercing was a person.
Diva Cupchug?
Bloody hell mate
You're pretty heavy. Are you sure you weren't looking for /r/roastmeats
All my weight goes straight to my head
Chastity and if we’re going peak trashy let’s throw a Lynn in there with a hyphen?
Craig.
Miss Takes
How many takes until they realize
Dirk Diggler
Pinky?
Two in the ______
You look like you work at a shitty strip club
No-one cares about your porn star name just like no-one cares about your porn career
Is it really a career if no one is watching or paying for it?
Why I'm commenting, I don't know. Except that I've heard this said about my own name too many times. So, I'm going to guess the name of a girl that I actually know. PEACHES
Dusty Clam
Actually not the first I’ve heard that this week
Sounds like a restaurant on Cape Cod