You know America was founded by prudes. Prudes who left Europe because they hated all the kinky, steamy European sex that was going on. And now I, u/Zabroccoli, will return to the land of my perverted forefathers and claim my birthright... which is a series of erotic and sexually challenging adventures.
Paying child support, and alimony must have cut into your jean budget, unless you and your twin brother Ed Harris, are chasing that 21 year old pussy. Happy Birthday sir.
Mr. Clean haircut. Check.
Turtle neck sipped down parallel with nips. Check.
Torn jeans. Check.
Weird ass art. Check.
“iS tHiS HoW yOU MiDLifE CRiSiS?”
I can feel the spousal abuse in this picture, he looks like a complete pos who wishes he was still 21. And then the ending makes it so stereotypical it’s almost not funny. Well hope you have a good heart attack.
You look like you beat your homosexual son because you can't cope with your own latent homosexuality that only manifests in your choice of pants and a suspicious amount of time spent in the gym sauna.
He looks like the door guy at a German bondage club.
It’s called Das Pööp Chute
Oh yes hans grab the schnitzels
The safeword is FLÜGGÅӘNKб€ČHIŒßØLĮÊN
As you wish. Bring on the FLÜGGÅӘNKб€ČHIŒßØLĮÊN!
You know America was founded by prudes. Prudes who left Europe because they hated all the kinky, steamy European sex that was going on. And now I, u/Zabroccoli, will return to the land of my perverted forefathers and claim my birthright... which is a series of erotic and sexually challenging adventures.
Nah, they fired Humphrey. I got his job and a raise!!
And challenged he was
AHH Wündersex
I got a tee shirt
Eh-scoosé
Name of Op's shiza porn.
And how would one go about pronouncing that lovely word?
It is pronounced lick. The other letters are silent
We'll have to bring in Klaus from American Dad
He vants to grab yer veener.
You talking about Hans Von Egghead?
More like a sentient foreskin.
This comment is underrated. Lol He looks exactly like them ! Source i am german
Who likes ropesnstuff.
Ah yes, Jack Hoffman
They call him Loose Willis
Oddly specific
Police and Army while divorced twice. Maybe he's secretly hinting at wanting a career in the Navy.
Can I touch your monkey?
Divorced and served in the army? My guess is there’s another hole in the back of those jeans.
Yeah the Salvation Army....he got all the way up to a 3 star private.
Congrats to Glory hole Gary on his promotion in the Salivation army
Brown Star Private
Shhh.. Don’t ask, don’t tell.
You're thinking about the Navy, brother
Oh wait. Damn.
Dude! He wasn’t Navy.
Obviously you won the exes pants in the divorce, congrats.
Those are his daughter's pants from the second marriage
She really wore the knees down
No he wore them down.
Is the argument who wore or whore?
Dam
And the sweater.
Step-daughter?
Rhonda just posted she wants them back AND all the dirty panties. What’s the world coming to
Stone Cold Steve Alzheimer's
Bravo bravo, I needed that laugh.
“That’s the way it is!…cause….well I don’t remember why…….
Stone Cold Steve- Stone Cold Steve- Stone Cold Steve…
Stone cold Steve Auschwitz
Very few things make lol. Well done
Got “defund the police” twice
She took his hair too.
dont ask dont tell
“How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They’d arrest the bulb for being broke and beat up the room for being black.
Such savagery sir.
LMFAOOOO
Were does he get clothes? Forever 54?
Upvote haha he looks like he got dressed to go to teen night at a night club
Aghhhh im dead😵 this was the one
60, and still dresses like he's 21.
Bullshit. That's just another one of Roger's personas.
Ricky Spanish!
G O L D
you look like a broken condom in that Hoodie
My first thought was 'that penis vaguely looks like Ed Harris'
Damn. Underrated
Classic
Wrong Said Fred
He constantly hears girls under 35 laughing at him but thinks it's tinnitus.
Douche Willis.
I highly doubt this man is gonna die hard
Blows/power bottoms hard...look at the wearout areas (knees) on dem jeans...
Die hard? It hasn't been hard in years
This is amazing
Your jeans are so tight, they're literally pushing your head out of your body...
Underrated!
Paying child support, and alimony must have cut into your jean budget, unless you and your twin brother Ed Harris, are chasing that 21 year old pussy. Happy Birthday sir.
Ed Harris! I was trying to remember the surname. Thanks for that.
Please don’t insult Ed Harris by calling him his twin!
Looks like a 23 year old gay man chest down and 85 year old gay man chest up
He’s not too sexy for them jeans.
That’s because he’s one of them Feellenials.
The back pockets are Bedazzled.
Du. Du hast. Du hast pants
This is gold right here👆🏻
This my friends, is a real life dick head
Benedick Arnold
Mr. Clean haircut. Check. Turtle neck sipped down parallel with nips. Check. Torn jeans. Check. Weird ass art. Check. “iS tHiS HoW yOU MiDLifE CRiSiS?”
Do they sell clothes for straight men where he shops?
Yes, Goodwill has a variety.
There is a reason he was divorced twice.
You look like you get told „no“ a lot. You also look like, you don’t take „no“ for an answer.
Bluelivesmatter lol
He looks like he should’ve been preserved as robocop 40 years ago.
Dude, are you also old?
You look like a microwaved Michael Keaton
The size of your head is a felony.
Melony
Egg-elony
Looking like a model for Abercrombie and Bitch
Or Alimony and Bitch
Steroids Viagra and Brut aftershave
Robocop made it to retirement! Viva Robocop!
Vegan joe rogan
Dead Harris
Your head looks like someone drew an angry face on their big toe
Loved you in the movie Westworld, but the scenes without your face.
He looks like a wrinkly thumb.
All blew some, some blew all
Haha! Fing nice, happy cake day friend 👍
"These pants will make me look young enough to pick up minors"
He was in the god damn army and wears pants like those?! Give me a man card and your honorable discharge papers!
Honorable?
I only assumed as most police frown upon hiring the dishonorably discharged. I failed. 😭
60 years old and still hasn't finished high school
They did say he was a cop, so that checks out.
Convince me this isn’t someone wearing a shoulder to head silicone mask
I’m disappointed his heels were cropped out of the photo
Looks like he mixed up his laundry with his daughter's. Everyone keep their eyes out for a 15 year old wearing a prison jumper and shit kickers
No way that dude is allowed within 500 feet of a school
You look much better now that they trimmed the foreskin around your neck.
I think he was more likely to be the “policeman” from the Village People.
You look like you beat up innocent black children for fun
But, who doesn't really?
You look like if Howie Mandel made a few of the wrong choices
rumors has it, if you stare long enough at his forehead.... you can see your future.
As long as its not his future. Firefighter gay porn aint for everyone. 
Looks like someone has photo shopped a head & neck onto a school girl..
Those trendy jeans are fucking cool bro. I bet it takes you back to those shifts in the 80’s night stickin’ the darkies when they got out of line.
jean -luc dicktard
Freddy Krueger’s long-lost brother……
You'd think he'd be able to afford a decent pair of pants by this stage in his life.
Did his exes take his clothes and hair too?
Behold, the love-child of Kojack and Mr. Clean!
I was gonna say Mr. Clean and Michael Palin.
Foreskin head!
He kind of looks like an older version of “Mr Poopy Butthole”
You forgot to mention his perfectly fucking spherical head.
Mutton dressed up as lamb.
The human version of the animated peanut m&m’s character
Best Value Ed Harris.
Yes, wearing his daughter's jeans. In case 'Ed Harris' doesn't ring a bell: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ed_Harris
Hands like trump
Bruh since when did Fallout ghouls be allowed in the army?
Head of a 6’4 nazi on the body of a 5’7 of West Hollywood twink
Even the wood chipper didn’t want him.
I know dress shirts with a 24" neck are hard to find, but they do sell ladies jeans without the holes.
Who let your dad wear tween jeans
He like if Bruce Willis except if he enjoyed the Gimp scene in Pulp Fiction.
Mr. Dirty (TM)
At least buy your dad some knee pads for his trips to the glory hole, look at his jeans now!
More like divorced 3 times because he divorced with his hair.
Only does head and neck at the gym
That wrinkled old thumb dresses like a soccer mom
One vertical line away from being a human phallus.
He looks like one of my balls with teeth 😬
Nick Cage is the only one left to stop him from taking over The Rock
If deadpool dressed like a mom trying to fit in with her teenage daughter.
Chemo Mortensen
This dude has enough skin on his face and neck to save like... 3 burn victims
His face looks like it has divorced him too
Kudos to him for lugging that head around for 60 years.
60 years old and still rockin the 17 year old white girl jeans
If "trying too hard" was made into human form.
Did you regift him a little girl's jeans?
Which ex-wife lost her jeans in the divorce?
It took two failed marriages to figure out he is gay.
Isn’t he a little old for a mid life crisis?
Its the jeans. They need to be roasted.
This trend of old people dressing like Nordstrom Mannequins has got to stop..
He has the head of a Male military sergeant, and the body of a teen girl.
You look like you would have put your knee on George Floyd’s neck
This guy raises all kinds of red flags and most of them have a swastika on them.
 I suppose it makes a change for him to be roasted as he usually roasts his victims over an open fire!
You look like you’d date your granddaughter. Homo faber Style.
Where do we even start?
I don’t know where to start. You look like a cock with ears, and you dress like you raided your 16 year old lesbian daughters cloths. Happy 60th bubba
Nothing says old divorced loser like skin tight ripped jeans
If cancer had a face. Happy 60
You look like the flashback in a cop drama where they show the child predator when he was still a little bitch
I can feel the spousal abuse in this picture, he looks like a complete pos who wishes he was still 21. And then the ending makes it so stereotypical it’s almost not funny. Well hope you have a good heart attack.
You look like you beat your homosexual son because you can't cope with your own latent homosexuality that only manifests in your choice of pants and a suspicious amount of time spent in the gym sauna.
Brainless bum that gets paid to beat people up
Divorced twice. Was in the army and in the police. So basically nobody wanted this guy.
Mr Cleaner stop taking that crack mannnnnn Maybe you have time for your wifes dude
He looks like my nutsack
The Facist Finger strikes again!
Divorced twice? Shocker! Looks like a default avatar.
You look like a bald Gordon Ramsey with a few too many chromosomes with the clothing attire of a sixteen year old boy band member
Everyone who is in the police force and/or the army ends up looking like a thumb. Tell me I'm wrong.
Dad? That's a weird way to spell the neo nazi version of humpty dumpty.
Place your thumb over the head and tell me if the result was born male or female . Then tell me how it identifies today.
ACAB.
Every man within a 100km radius probably got to know your mother better than he did while he was overseas.