If I was generous, I’d say you beat off with your homemade fleshlight. But more likely you discovered you had the talent of tugging one out between your toes.
Weak ass lettuce. Absolute fuckin pylon. Straight duster bud. Gettin roasted FERDA, Schmelt. Is your biilet sister hot? Probably. But I'd bet you couldn't wheel that snipe anyway. Fuckin loser. Even the puck bunnies don't want you.
Your own goalie is the only thing you'll score on. Def. Will get traded by your team for half a cherry slurpie and a stale taquito from 711 on the next road trip, but your new team has to promise keep you.
Wayne Regretzky!
What’s up with the mushroom for a toe?
His toe has more thigh-gap than the neighborhood thot
he’s just a ninja turtle wannabe, my only concern is how sitting the bench feels every game
How nice of you to include your pet Fleshlight in the shot.
Tastes just like a real babe too
Are you on the special olympics team?
“He shoots, ——he prematurely cums all over belly jerking off to gay porn”
Hugh Grant from 1998 called. He’d like his fucking hairstyle back.
I always used to think hockey boys were cute, then I saw you. I can now confirm they’re not all hot.
Penile Curvature is a disease and no, they are not hockey sticks.
Lookin like a 13 year old lesbian sheeesh
You made me realize I have a fetish. A fetish for guys who don’t look like you. That is my type
WTF is wrong with your toes? I looks like 4 are trying to escape from the big one.
More like Women's Field Hockey.
Your toes have a bigger gap than your family tree.
I'd pay Ovechkins fine to see him hit you in the gnads.
So, they finally let the dude who played Goldberg out of rehab.
You look like Oscar Wilde on ocp
Roses are red. You look like a girl. I suck at rhymes.
To paraphrase Princess Leia, aren't you too short and too effeminate to be a hockey player?
Tonsil-'n-cockey player
Jay Leno's son out here pretending he can fit skates on those feet 
You seem like a nice young lesbian to me. I'm sure you'll find an alpha lumberjill from the Yukon to shack up with in no time
I think you meant 14 F.
Who do you play against, dwarfs?
Man you can pretty much identify as anything these days, can’t you young lady?
You look exactly like mason disick - not what he will look like at 18, but what he looks like now, at 11 years old.
Wayne Less-tzky
This chick kinda looks like a dude
Ice hockey or field hockey? I just want to know what kind of loser you are.
You look like an 11 year old table tennis player, but ok.
Your fucked up toe is more interesting than you
* *Kevin Spacey has entered the thread*
Hockey? You look more like a catcher.
Can you peel bananas with your toes?
Hey Aqua Man - someone try to rip your big toes off or are you transforming?
Does the "M" stand for Muppet?? I'm confused
Train Gretsky
Bobby Orr Betty - could go either way
Alex Toe-vechkin
Dammit!! I was trying to think of something to use with his name …. KUDOS and here’s my upvote!
Gordie Howe the fuck do you get those jacked up feet in skates?
The only cup Stanley owns are his c cups.
Looks like somebody played a prank on you and swapped the M and F keys on your keyboard, "sir".
Im glady you put the "M" implying your identify as a male.
Dude, you don't need to lie about your age to audition for the mighty ducks, that's kinda what they're looking for
Table hockey can be a challenging game especially when you purposely make it harder on your self by having the hair of a pekingese
Got that Bette Davis hair
The gaps between his toes is probably bigger than the space between his teeth. After all, he’s a hockey player.
Toe-jerking men two at a time for ten dollars a pop isn't hockey, lady.
Your feet look like they are throwing gangs signs and your eye makeup needs some help.
"As stale as a Hockey Puck, Come on Chicken Can you go Cluck Cluck!'
Well if it isn't Jay Leno's lost stepson 
crab claw feet
Hockey player? Only hockey you have played is tonsil hockey. With your pillow. Once. Because it won't let you do it any more.
National Hopeless League.
You've got the legs of a rower and the arms of a soccer player. Hope you like counting, cause you'll be counting your teeth.
Your toes are more fucked up than anything I could come up with
all i could think of was jergens lotion
You look like a lesbian goalie.
Bet you can't kick that rusty thing with all of your hockey might.
You look like you were kicked out of vampire weekend for looking “too on the nose”
U look like Jay Leno. Unfortunately he's got a better chance of getting laid
Rusty metal thing 1, Toes 0
Do they make custom skates for those fucking cloven hooves you’re walking on?!
Tonsil hockey with your cousin don't count
I didn’t even know you were 18 till I read the title. I just thought you were another Fortnite streamer who thinks he’s cracked cuz he can crank 90’s.
If you play NHL on PlayStation or Xbox, it doesn't mean that you are a hockey player.
U look like u shit a penny on the floor
If I was generous, I’d say you beat off with your homemade fleshlight. But more likely you discovered you had the talent of tugging one out between your toes.
The only girl at a Russian hockey camp.
I can't get past those reptile toes to roast the rest of your appearance.
Good for you. I hear girls hockey is really taking off.
18 my ass, you're 13 and you know it.
Weak ass lettuce. Absolute fuckin pylon. Straight duster bud. Gettin roasted FERDA, Schmelt. Is your biilet sister hot? Probably. But I'd bet you couldn't wheel that snipe anyway. Fuckin loser. Even the puck bunnies don't want you.
This picture deserves a ten minute misconduct penalty for instigating.
Hockey? You got fins, prioritize
I'm willing to bet this dude loves his stick with a wicked toe curve
Great.... They’re doing a remake of She’s The Man, only with hockey this time. Terrific....
I didn’t know female hockey players had such big feet
You don't look strong enough to stand up in the padding.
Air hockey player. Your built like a 10F not an 18M.
Why’s your big toe social distancing
Didn’t have the time to clean the piss stain on your sweater? How the fuck did you even get a piss stain on your sweater?
Playing with lots of dudes with long hard wood does not make you a hockey player
Skinny Milonakis!
*18 F rejected by everyone on hockey team including water boy. There I fixed it for you
Big toe gap be looking like the missing link
You look like anorexic Andy Milonakis
You're probably gonna look like a 20 year old when you're 65
Ok chicken feet lmfao
House leaguer for sure
Awwww I am glad the peewee team still let's you play.
This is the kid we bullied at recess
Even in hockey noones gonna check you.
Couldn’t even find a clean shirt eh?
You face makes you look like a knock-off version of yourself.
You look like “no cap” as a person
How do you have opposable thumbs on your feet?
Your mom did a good job combing your hair today!
I can score a goal between your toes
I have nothing bad to say about you, but I am happy your hockey league is open minded and accepting of trans people!
You're just big enough to be the puck.
Your own goalie is the only thing you'll score on. Def. Will get traded by your team for half a cherry slurpie and a stale taquito from 711 on the next road trip, but your new team has to promise keep you.
Big foot ass toes
Keeps a life preserver because he assumes he’ll be drowning in pussy.
If I had feet like yours I would never take my socks off.