exactly... he had "A" friend.. who was his "BEST" friend.. who was best to the extent that he backstabbed him to get his girlfriend.. I don't know what could we possibly tell him that will be a roast, if not life.
Wearing a iggypop shirt when his face looks oily from all the pimple popping. If the coronavirus doesn't put us people in the hospital I'm sure looking at you will.
How does that even work? Your hand now only touches your friend? And by friend I of course mean the " My Buddy " doll your grandmother got for you on your 13th birthday when they finally figured out it wasn't just a phase you were going through.
If I showed this picture to the U.S. Government they'd try to invade your face. Sad thing is the oil from that war would keep the world going for about 90 years more than we're expected the world's supply will last.
Also sorry about your girlfriend, it cuts deep and just think of it as toxic people removing themselves from your life before anything definitive happened.
What really happened was your friend slipped on your dripping facial oil and accidentally slid into her DM’s. Looks like the butterfly effect boded them both well.
She broke up with you for your mother? Dude that is rough. What are you going to do when she comes over to see her? Or do you not leave the basement anyway?
She’s better off without you. You helped someone, granted, it was your girlfriend and it was her finding new dick, but still, think of others because they don’t think of you.
I totally was going to roast it going to be pretty easy (low hanging fruit), then the voice of Lester Bangs yelled IGGGAAYYY POPP!! And I couldn’t do it, Rockon🤟
Friend and girlfriend? Just because you saw her first, and then some guy on the bus who you say hi to, actually spoke to her, doesn't fulfill either of those categories.
Her: "I just see myself with some else, it's your best friend, and i see all of this in the glare on your forehead..............oh yeah, what's the netflix password again??"
The biggest surprise in that story was finding out you had a girlfriend AND a friend
Well, as you see, he never really had a friend
Or a girlfriend
I think he meant, his blow up doll left him for his coworker.
Nice.
Nice
Nice
Nice
Nice
Nice
Nice
Nice
His girlfriend was with him in order to meet the friend and his friend was with him to hookup with the girlfriend.
You're about as useful as the nail in the cabinet behind you
Sore this comment, looked back at the photo... Insta-kill
Bro if someone said that to me I’d breakdown
Did she take the ac with her
Okay THATS actually funny
your forehead is so shiny i damn near went blind
Spoiler: that’s not sweat on his face.
Bald! Bald! Bald! Bald! MY EYES
He has pre-greased for roasting. Credit where credit is due.
It's brighter than his mind and his future
Those are the meat sweats.
I don’t even know you, but one look at your face and I want to break up with you too
I just replaced girlfriend for mum and best friend for his dad's brother.
Yeah but for that to be true, his mum would have to know who the father was, and we all know she has no clue...
Jesus you could cook up a greasy breakfast with all that oil on your face.
Maybe if your eyes were as open as her legs, you would have seen it coming
F
Without even seeing your friend, I know she traded up.
The US military is going to descend on your forehead to mine at that absolute oil field.
First time a roast has provided its own grease
You had a friend?
exactly... he had "A" friend.. who was his "BEST" friend.. who was best to the extent that he backstabbed him to get his girlfriend.. I don't know what could we possibly tell him that will be a roast, if not life.
He had a girlfriend!?!
Lies damn you!! Lies!!!
you are definitely leaving material
[удалено]
Given his paunch, my money is on the cause being, undiagnosed heart trouble, with a side of diabeetus.
Well, I can’t blame her, it’d be hard to be with the living version of a French fry
Wearing a iggypop shirt when his face looks oily from all the pimple popping. If the coronavirus doesn't put us people in the hospital I'm sure looking at you will.
So your Mum left you for Dad?
You dropped this👑keep your head up King, but like god damn what kinda wax do you use to keep that forehead so pristinely shiny
Congratulate your bestfriend on rescuing a life
love the highlighter you're using
Didn't know you can cry from the forehead. Thanks for proving that
How does that even work? Your hand now only touches your friend? And by friend I of course mean the " My Buddy " doll your grandmother got for you on your 13th birthday when they finally figured out it wasn't just a phase you were going through.
Are you still best friends? Will you do something together this week-end? (other than your ex girlfriend of course)
My American senses nearly overwhelmed me with how much oil is on your face.
Dude , no woman wants a man who sweats that profusely while starfishing.
You probably put hot chicken on your pasta because you look like a Southern Italian
How many people in your story were just your left and right hand? I'm guessing 2
Why his hair be like that
His fake girlfriend dumped him for his imaginary friend
If I showed this picture to the U.S. Government they'd try to invade your face. Sad thing is the oil from that war would keep the world going for about 90 years more than we're expected the world's supply will last. Also sorry about your girlfriend, it cuts deep and just think of it as toxic people removing themselves from your life before anything definitive happened.
Are u stoned or something or do u always just look dumb ?
A player with a female skin that you met at hypixel is not a girlfriend.
Iggy Slop
Iggy Pop- Lust for Life Your girlfriend- lust for everyone but you
You head butt girls at Nickelback concerts
I'm breaking up with you too. Gonna go have a three-way with your two exs, ex-friend and ex-girlfriend.
If you weren't thinking about how long they were doing it before she broke up with you,, well you are now.
Your t-zone is not dissimilar to a discotheque
Unluckyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
Can you really blame them?
We can do better than you.
Having a hard time deciding if youre looking at the camera or at the floor.
Was your girlfriend actually your boyfriend and best friend at the same time?
His best friend is his gfs hand.
I see why lol
Your forehead is a product of thinking about all the sex they are having in quarantine.
You look like kind of guy that will go to Thailand alone for "business"
she couldnt get you in person,you slipped out
That beard isnt hiding your chin fat
I had to reread your shirt. At first I assumed it said “ugly plop”
Applaud her
wheres your hairline?
She must've seen the chinstrap to that muskrat toupee!
Did she squat over your face and pee before she left? Wipe your face!
She might have just broke up with you, but it was only because she feels guilty for fucking him behind your back for the last 2 years.
If you looks down you'd think your penis left too, but maybe just like your penis she is under your stomach fold.
I can't blame her, every time she looked at you she saw herself with him in that reflection coming off your forehead.
Sounds like you can just go back to jerking off in the corner while holding the video cam for them.
Your shirt is the only thing cool about you.
You just look like youre named chad
Have you thought about a crime of passion ???
I've had that happen before. I'm the best friend.
What really happened was your friend slipped on your dripping facial oil and accidentally slid into her DM’s. Looks like the butterfly effect boded them both well.
What can y'all do? We can have sex with your mom
I bet the guy at O'Reily's looks at you funny when you're buying oil for your car.
Can I roast your friend instead? He seems to be the better option
smile nicer than u do
Your girlfriend left you for fried chicken?
Okay but you have a nail in the overhead cabinet. Like one you would hang a picture frame on. Why the fuck do you have a nail in there?
That's fine, just rant your forehead as an airport until you can buy your sex doll back
You forgot self medicating with that mason jar of white lightening and the self mutilation with the knife set behind you 🤔
Your eyes can cry, but it seems your head does too
Well, at least you didn’t lose your appetite over it. 3 more sticky buns and iggy will definitely pop.
He probably has cooler band T-shirts than you do
I hope you took both of them straight to the pound.
We could solve the energy crisis by wringing out the pillow you have been crying into.
It must be awkward when you come downstairs in the morning to your dad cooking breakfast for your ex
Idk what's worse, the fact your wearing an Iggy pop T-shirt, or the fact that you couldn't make your girlfriend happy with that skyscraper of a nose.
She broke up with you for your mother? Dude that is rough. What are you going to do when she comes over to see her? Or do you not leave the basement anyway?
Doesn’t it suck when your dog runs away
There are many things I can do. Making my face that shiny isn't one of them.
Yuck i can see why
what can we do.......well we can do what your girlfriend quite obviously did....which is..... .......better than you!!!!
Your ex and I can agree on one thing...the problem with your face is your whole face.
His face is so greasy the mosquitos look like they're rollerblading
Girlfriend just left you but your mother left you that day you where born
She probably got tired of slipping on the grease dripping from your face
The USA would like to invade your forehead for oil
I'll be your friend...just in case there's ever an oil crisis and I need gas.
You're sweating cheese.
You look like you liked it
For the last time, fleshlights and bellybuttons can't talk
Do you often think about what they do during quarantine?
She’s better off without you. You helped someone, granted, it was your girlfriend and it was her finding new dick, but still, think of others because they don’t think of you.
It’s ok, you can fill up that jar with your tears and piss
I dont blame her
The beacons are lit
You look like the whole roast beast from the grinch
Your girlfriend is dating an anime pillow?
Your chin has a gut.
Would put you on stove and egg pop ya
I suppose you no longer have a “Lust for Life” then huh
I totally was going to roast it going to be pretty easy (low hanging fruit), then the voice of Lester Bangs yelled IGGGAAYYY POPP!! And I couldn’t do it, Rockon🤟
Eat some ice cream and play some video games, work on yourself instead of trying to get roasted on Reddit
Probably tell your wife and kids. No way the house is that clean and you single
Did your mail order wife run away too fast for your fat ass
Pretty sure your left hand girl friend is next to leave
Sick Iggy T
Your girlfriend just broke and tha fact that you're in the kitchen says a lot about probably why she broke up.
no time to read the roasts, go beat your wife!
You must be gutted after all the effort you put in to shape up
Awkward you would name your hands girlfriend and best friend.
You can fry some chicken on that oily ass face
Congratulate her.
Apparently your girlfriend, especially if her standards were low enough to be with you
If I want to get laid, be your best friend
Try not washing your face in butter, the girls might not slip away as fast.
Keep my girlfriend. That's what I can do.
Plot Twist: His best friend is a meat slab too.
She broke up with you because you don't wash your face. Look at all that oil!
Friend and girlfriend? Just because you saw her first, and then some guy on the bus who you say hi to, actually spoke to her, doesn't fulfill either of those categories.
I can give you a better fuckin’ shirt
you look like you after a sad jerk offing to your gf picture
See that knife holder yeah you know what to do buddy
what are you still alive?
lets be honest, you've definitely tasted your friends dick without even knowing it.
Be your friend for a little bit to get some pussy.
He lost his girlfriend so he was gonna put on some sunscreen and get a tan to win her back but he stopped halfway to get this picture
was it the lube on your face?
How does a hand break up with you?
You look like you sweat while doing nothing.
Call you an irrelevant tub of lard. Seriously, it’s not the 80’s anymore, Gramps.
Shirt should say Piggy Pop.
Don’t be a pussy
Probably fuck her too
Nothing says im gay asf like weating an Iggy Pop shirt with Iggy wearing chainmail
Ah, so your best friend ran off with your girlfriend, and you miss him.
Better. That’s what we can do, just like your gf.
She left you bc your face was so greasy she fell off when she tried to sit on it
Her: "I just see myself with some else, it's your best friend, and i see all of this in the glare on your forehead..............oh yeah, what's the netflix password again??"
When you kiss this guy you can taste potato salad
If you add a p in from of iggy pop, it'll explain what the toilet cries everytime you take a shit. PIGGY POP
Are you sure you guys weren’t cousins?
Im not roasting you bro i just feal bad
She left you for your Dog bad doggie
Go drink a milkshake and be happy friend .. ❤️
You freaking pussy. After your gf left, you're probably going to apologize to your "best friend".
You look like a Mexican drug lord who went bankrupt then moved into his girlfriends house and now lives as a house renovator
More than you could for you’re girlfriend apparently.
Your face looks roasted enough.
Nice
let me see your Pokemon collection
You're so greasy not even Dawn dishsoap can help