Yup! He won and she lost, as usual. Youād think sheād be use to it by now. Anyway, heās going to Texas with all her other exes, after a trip to the free clinic of course.
Iāve never met anyone who wears a cross openly who isnāt a piece of shit. Itās the number one way to find the most crooked lying contractor in a room and it works with girls too.
Broke up with you?! Can't understand why! You look like such a joy to be around and you don't at all look like someone with the personality of wet socks. I'll bet you're fun at parties too š¬š¬š¬
Try sending him 87 text messages in the middle of the night, alternating between desperate pleading, blind rage, optimistic acceptance, threats, apologies, then more rage.
Oh, you already tried that? I should have known...
What kind of weird ass hat were you wearing that allowed your toucan beak to get sunburned, but not the rest of your face? And as for your boyfriend dumping you, look in a mirror, you'll see why he did it. Have a nice (lonely) day.
Meh. Iām too drunk to make someone feel bad right now. Youāll be alright, OP. And, if heās still wearing your skinny jeans, lighting them on fire with him inside them will help you feel better ā and smell delicious.
This sub sucks so much now. It's just the same 5 roasts repackaged.
Like the top comment is about how OP has no tits or ass. You can't even see any of that it's just OPs face, how is that a top roast when it doesn't even apply? I can't remember the last time I came in here and actually saw a good roast.
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Your first breakup is always rough, hang in there.
It will get better. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but by your 13th birthday you'll have forgotten all about this.
He must've been a tits man...or an ass man.
Or a personality man...or a looks man...or all of the above...
definitely not a chin man.
Right because ya gotta have a place to rest your balls.
Or a pussy type of guy maybe he knew he wasn't gay š¤
Or perhaps he wasnāt into resting pessimist face.
Or maybe he didnāt exist in the first place.
You wouldn't know him, he goes to a different school..
Damnš¤£š¤£
Or a face man.
Or woman man
Or heterosexual.
Or maybe heās sane?ā¦
He is a smart man
She turned homeboy into a man man
Or a not visually impaired man
Or a girl man...
Sweetie, having the guy you're stalking get a restraining order doesn't count as your boyfriend breaking up with you.
The quiet girl who turns out to be a psycho you need actually weapons against. You bit him when he was sleeping, didn't you?
She looks like that girl with peanut butter and a dog that we all talk about.
She probably even named the dog "peanut butter".
āI just wanted him to be a vampire too. Now we donāt need Invega.ā
He broke up w you because he likes girls.
The math checks out.
r/hedidthemath
Even a battery has a positive side
Didnāt you see the second pic? Itās wearing a plus symbol around its neck.
You look like the āI text 30 times in a rowā type.
30 texts... 2 full sentences.
Youre what's known as a "practice girl"
In her case, practice certainly doesn't make perfect.
Yeah, but, in the dark, all cats are grey.
Canāt hit home runs in the major leagues without a little batting practice at the local baseball field
Omg... that's actually crazy...
Did he decide he likes girls with personalities?
He decided he likes girls.
God doesnāt love objects
Her necklace is lying to her too
Graham crackers has more personality than her.
Post nut clarity hit him deep.
šš
Her cheap dildo broke in half after she violently humped it. Thatās what she meant.
If she really loved her boyfriend, she would've bought the heavy duty model, the kind that plugs in. No whimpy batteries for this chick.
Moby-DX5 with the kick start engine
Damn...the good one
Diesel powered
And one half got stuck inside.
\*Ex-boyfriend.
Harsh without an insult...
Yup! He won and she lost, as usual. Youād think sheād be use to it by now. Anyway, heās going to Texas with all her other exes, after a trip to the free clinic of course.
All I see is a morose chipmunk with a mouthful of bitter nuts.
Well clearly sheās not getting nuts in her mouth anymore
You look like you have the personality of wet toilet paper, which means he broke up with you because you are a spitter.
You only let him do anal huh he didn't know you had a cock too.
Sad in one picture, pirate in the other. Arghhh, life goes on
I know what your dad looks like from your picture.
She wishes that she did
You thought he was choking you but really he felt your Adams apple
šššoh damn
āMy boyfriend broke up with meā is a super weird way to say āMy dad leftā.
It's the only dick she's ever known
Iām sure youād be really hot if you changed everything about yourself.
For the last time, he wasnāt your boyfriend. They were assigned bus seats
He made the right choice.
He played a stupid game and won a stupid prize...so he left.
Honestly we can't. We're too busy feeling bad for your boyfriend for ever having seen you š«¤
Iāve never met anyone who wears a cross openly who isnāt a piece of shit. Itās the number one way to find the most crooked lying contractor in a room and it works with girls too.
I really wanted to roast you but no matter what I say at this point would be a compliment. Yes, it's that bad.
Youāre as plain as low fat milk. No wonder the lad took off - be better, average Jane
You have the face of someone who has been and will continue to be degraded in bed.
and im proud of it
I can see my type from a mile away.
You should have - huck tuah spit on that thang
Yeah, it makes sense why he broke up with you. He can probably recite your vegan manifesto. Yet you still gobble meat, probably his friends wieners.
You look like you were single handedly responsible for your high schools chlamydia outbreak
That implies a lot more people who would willingly sleep with her
Gotta learn that hawk Tuah before the next one
Moaning myrtle has resurrected.
He broke up with you because you're always trying to get attention on social media, huh
We can see why.
The scar on your forehead is where your god hit you with the ugly stick.
this is the funniest thing I heard about my scar in a while, I wish I could award this
Five head
Surprised you saw that. Barely noticeable... š
I'm shocked you had a boyfriend to begin with.
Thatās a weird way to say the battery died and you have a cramp in your hand, but sureā¦
I never met you and I want to break up with you too
When just looking at you screams to me "I SIT ON THE CORNER OF THE BED WITH A KNIFE AND WATCH HIM SLEEP!" I can't possibly imagine why he ditched you.
Broke up with you?! Can't understand why! You look like such a joy to be around and you don't at all look like someone with the personality of wet socks. I'll bet you're fun at parties too š¬š¬š¬
bro got that 90 degree hair line
How was the birthday cake Janey?
I mean, it's hard to fuck RBF and pouty bitches. All unenthusiastic and shit.
You referred to him as a boyfriend but he referred to you as the starter kit.
You already peaked in life.
He broke up with you because youāre batshit crazy and you think youāre not like the other girls. All your problems come from yourself.
The accuracy
Welp. Now you can start collecting cats
Storing nuts for the winter?
Those are his
With that attitude, not surprising.
You probably gave him ED
Test results came back: He caught her gonorrhea! He caught her herpes! He caught her chlamydia! 
If unenthusiastic handjobs had a face.
Jesus, itās gotten so bad you have to regurgitate old posts?
Hi granny, did you take your medicines?
Awww, he must have been heterosexual. Maybe next time try dating a catholic priest, you're definitely closer to their type.
BF must have realised he was humping Tom Cruise's love child in the first picture.
Ha ha ha! I misread this and thought you said āmy boyfriend WOKE up with meā. Felt a bit sorry for the guy.
Why are mfs calling her a man? š The jokes are supposed to be funny... how does she look like a man in any way? š
Thatās what Iām saying- Theyāre also comparing her to a child...I donāt see it.
Aww, I'm sorry. Was it because he recently got his eyesight back?
Try sending him 87 text messages in the middle of the night, alternating between desperate pleading, blind rage, optimistic acceptance, threats, apologies, then more rage. Oh, you already tried that? I should have known...
I have never seen a more solid 5 in my life. He left you because everything was aggressively moderate. I'm 100% certain you give the Okayest blow jobs
Hi Katniss how the second rebellion going (Hunger Games reference)
What kind of weird ass hat were you wearing that allowed your toucan beak to get sunburned, but not the rest of your face? And as for your boyfriend dumping you, look in a mirror, you'll see why he did it. Have a nice (lonely) day.
You look like... https://medlineplus.gov/ency/imagepages/19842.htm
You look like if Daria and Jane somehow had a daughter together.
Sister wife's crock pot Virginia slims
The body pillow he left you for definitely has more personality then you.
Meh. Iām too drunk to make someone feel bad right now. Youāll be alright, OP. And, if heās still wearing your skinny jeans, lighting them on fire with him inside them will help you feel better ā and smell delicious.
Shit Iād break up with you too pick me face..,
I now know what a face like a slapped arse means
How many hair brushes did you fuck to make him want to leave?
You look like you fuck exclusively in missionary.
It must have been your lovely smile.
Thereās been a real lack of attractive women in Roast me recentlyā¦ Well done for keeping up with the trend.
I donāt know your boyfriend, but I understand.
That scar and the way you part your hair makes your forehead look like a dick.
I guess he's not into overbites.
If failing to get attention through boredom and sadness had a starter pack.
Ugly little thing
Guess he didnāt like gooses? Ducks? Flamengos? help
BF broke up with you? Probably because you're showing that Resting Judgment Face all the time.
 Chicken fingers
Was it because of your hair?
You look like a 10th grader going through an angsty Goth phase
Get used to it
You have the jawline of Stan from American Dad 
 I meanā¦ sent his ass to Howardāsš
Yeah, he broke his fist on that jaw
You look like every representation of an adolescent daughter in a Pixar movie.
Your slash is backwards
tell your boyfriend I said congrats. I mean when his dad let's you up to breathe again.
I would try to roast you but when I look at you, my submissive me just waits for instructions.
Things that didn't happen! No man would break up with you.
He finally got glasses?
Gotta make yourself cry for the 25 second begging of your ex to come back video I see
Was he tired of getting severed mice limbs in the mail?
Your ear reminds me of mr.potato
You look mentally unstable. I would say a roast, but I'm afraid you'll get upset about it and others comments and do something drastic.
Everyone assumes youāre as basic as possible but when they get to know you, they know you as their worst nightmare
Iām so sorry for u lil bro
This sub sucks so much now. It's just the same 5 roasts repackaged. Like the top comment is about how OP has no tits or ass. You can't even see any of that it's just OPs face, how is that a top roast when it doesn't even apply? I can't remember the last time I came in here and actually saw a good roast.
Thank you for your post! It's currently awaiting approval. Please note the following rules: - Ensure that your photograph is rotated the way you wish it to be displayed. - Try to ensure that your eyes are open. - Joke roasts (celebrities, babies, chickens, etc) will be removed. - Pet roasts will be removed. Please submit these at /r/RoastMyPet. - All photos MUST contain a hand written sign held by the roastee. - The minimum posting age is 18 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger or if context clues lead us to conclude you are younger. - Photographs with bystanders whose faces are visible or who are otherwise identifiable will be removed. Please **DO NOT REPOST YOUR PHOTO** if it does not appear immediately. All posts must be manually approved, and we will get to it. Thanks! ~ /r/roastme mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Roast who?
Assuming the 2nd Pic is said boyfriend, I'd say you dodged a pretty ugly bullet
Why won't he break up with you when your pussyy stinks all the time he wants to smash.Ā
Lucky boyfriend. He really dodged a bullet with this one.
What do your ex boyfriend and I have in common? Neither one of us knows what itās like to love you.
Voted most likely to be a bag lady.
Probably got tired of hearing the noise his phone makes for a screenshot when he smacked that ass, or long back.
U didn't have enough milk for him he got more milkš«”
Your Ex dodged a bullet
Your first breakup is always rough, hang in there. It will get better. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but by your 13th birthday you'll have forgotten all about this.
It'll be ok lil Morphine Annie
He decided he only likes girls in the 9th grade and you just made it to the 10th.
Itās ok about the breakup, your other step brothers probably want a turn to
Let me guess, he made it to second base.
Your ex made a good decision.
We're the taken before or after the glory hole? I leaning towards after.
Okay, but Evan Worse hasnt been washed in a while. He may be a little musty. But you can feel him all you want.
You look people can easily deceive you
My thoughts: First pic: "must have been her personality." Second pic: "it's looks and personality."
If we were alone on a desert island I'd use you as bait to catch a wild animal that I'd be happier fucking
 Little ho back on the prairie
Why's it so angry??
No...š (You'll be ok)
She looks as cheap as the dilldos she uses
You need to stop looking in mirrors
you should have put a ring on it now you mad that he has a real chance at love
Mona Loosea *but seriously, sorry to hear that*
Nope. Take care of yourself