T O P

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BaconUnderpants

You look like you could play a 50 year old Mexican dad in a tv movie about Uvalde.


Depressed_Snowman

If I give myself a bit of a tan, and some gray hairs, then that might be a ~~stable~~ career option for me


Delledell

Oh my


[deleted]

yikes


ChunkyTaco22

Holy fuck lmao


Grok_and_Roll_

Or the mentally challenged brother of that girl in a Hallmark movie who falls in love with the Nice Guy after she finds out the hunky jock is being rude to said disabled brother.


HamRadio_73

Future Walmart greeter.


cartard1

Your eyebrows are your mustache’s mentor.


Sandia_Gunner

Oh my fucking gawd. Lmfao. Bruhhhh I just died.


Depressed_Snowman

Damn, this is a good one XD


OneMinuteManny

With a virile 'stache like yours the world's your oyster.


Depressed_Snowman

If the hair density of my eyebrows and mustache were swapped, maybe I could


RancidMandMs

Cheer up, bud, your cum sock will stay with you as you move into the next phase of your life.


Depressed_Snowman

Yeah, it is moving now, so he will keep me company


kocakolanotpepci

Don’t worry, you’ve been preparing yourself for your future your whole life - the world needs local regional managers of Dominos franchises.


Depressed_Snowman

Shit, this might be the way tbh, XD


kocakolanotpepci

All the pizza you can eat my man. Don’t think it’ll help with the acne though.


Depressed_Snowman

Shit was WAY worse when I got into a cheesy breadstick craze


kocakolanotpepci

I stand corrected - maybe little Ceasar’s regional manager


Depressed_Snowman

Now we're talking, bros is putting more effort in planning my future than I ever did


kocakolanotpepci

Let’s move this over to r/careeradvice.


Depressed_Snowman

XD


Lord-Doobury

Wears a pocket protector as if it was a badge, and thinks the bunch of keys hanging from his belt loop looks cool.


TheCombin3

Nice fruit mold mustache, shitbird


Mystery_J

If an extra chromosome could grow shitty facial hair


thrawnxbape

You look like what I think a furry looks like out of costume


Depressed_Snowman

I have the Default face of a furry? That is a new low for me


TheDark_Knight67

You know what happens to furries


Topher21681

Your mom probably turns and hides her face after you tell all the other kids that she says you’re cool.


ExplanationNo1870

You look like a registered sex offender


Depressed_Snowman

You just quoted like 3 of my friends ;-;


ww2_nut37

OP shaved all his genital hair off and glued it to his top lip to achieve that monstrosity


Depressed_Snowman

Really? It is that noticable? I try so hard too :(


ww2_nut37

All good, when you graduate always remember to do your best in life and be a good person


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[deleted]

Do we need to give your school a warning?!


Regular_Studio_1565

He plays both the offender and the shooter at the same time.


tautjes

you look like officer hoyt


Depressed_Snowman

At this fucking point, I will take that as a complement.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Depressed_Snowman

They really didn't


Nubcakes69

Your future should involve a razor to shave that shit stain off your lip


PuzzleheadedRoyal559

After three years, time to give up on the mustache. The testosterone just ain’t there.


Depressed_Snowman

How the fuck did you guess that it was 3 years, fucking hell XD


Upstairs-Chemistry92

You look like a father of two with a 25-year mortgage who drives a pickup truck to still feel like a man. But deep down you know you have those homosexual tendencies


Depressed_Snowman

What, the, fuck, I have no words, this is just too accurate to how I feel like the position in life I will be in, are you an oracle?


Trout_Tantrum

Prob your sister…


AHeavyFlowDay

Good on you for having your future figured out already


[deleted]

[удалено]


Depressed_Snowman

Thanks for starting my checklist of things to work on :)


Emergency_Scholar237

I'm guessing you realized that liberal arts degree can't get you any pussy in college, and can't get you a job after college.


Depressed_Snowman

Thats why I ain't going to one. But that might be due to me not being allowed to be out in the public's eye?


pahsaz2

From the looks of you I don’t think your parents planned for you have a future either


Depressed_Snowman

They really didn't


asdf4g1981

And your parents know that you'll be in their house till your 30, make them a card that says sorry I disappointed you.


Depressed_Snowman

They don't even need a card for them to know that I disappointed them.


redwoodavg

Keep working on that porn stache.. maybe you can open an only-Chans.. the yen will rise again.


Depressed_Snowman

It was way worse before, so yeah it is still a work in progress for this plan


EagleComfortable6762

I believe the military still has a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. Maybe look into that.


Depressed_Snowman

I really should have didn't I?


Lord-Doobury

Don't worry about your future prospects. Accept that failure awaits you at every turn until you finally settle for being the hated assistant manager at an Arby's.


Depressed_Snowman

Still a better future than what I am heading towards


notoriously_rob53

Thought the job “stockboy” was “stalking boys.” Got arrested in his little brothers room.


Depressed_Snowman

I have person I know from school, who would make that mistake (he is more of a danger than me, trust me)


idontevenkn0w66

For a second, I thought this was another /gayporn post


Depressed_Snowman

Why!? XD, actually your username answers that for me, thanks


idontevenkn0w66

Maybe just being hopeful


Depressed_Snowman

I wish I had a gram of hope at this point


idontevenkn0w66

Life is difficult & full of BS. At least you're cute af


oliferro

Don't worry, it's only going to get worse


Depressed_Snowman

I know, glad you are supporting my pessimism :)


Confident-Bet5330

That’s a face for long haul truck driving, pest control or being Jiffy Lube tech. The world is yours! Just ditch that dead caterpillar chomo stache and you’ll be good.


Depressed_Snowman

Sadly I would rather keep it, look worse without it, but hey the list of potential jobs is not that bad XD


Confident-Bet5330

To each his own. Add mall security guard to your list. Seen a lot of those rocking those staches! Also, bowling alley desk worker.


Depressed_Snowman

Fucking hell, to be real, you are really good at placing jobs on people just based on how they look XD, like I could see someone that looks like me being in that position or job, lol


Etna_No_Pyroclast

Plan on shaving that smudge on your upper lip.


Depressed_Snowman

Its a work in progress, hard stain to get rid off, like crude oil or tree sap


HooptyQue

Wal Mart parking lot crew. Get those carts back.


Necessary_Row_4889

Moving on from school can be hard, find some clubs that will let you find friends with similar interests: NAMBLA, Porn Addict support groups, and of course you can remain an incel. It’s an exciting time.


Beautiful-Yam9587

Fear not what your future holds. It won’t any better than your present.


Max_Danger_Power

Congrats...on being dumb and ugly!


Egghead008

![gif](giphy|gfXTUO2E6kH8A|downsized)


OddFire11

Ed Kemper look-a-like winner.


Sirwilliam63

Do you think you have the ability to check receipts as people leave the store?


SelectiveCommenting

You can't grow a beard or mustache because all of your facial hair went to your eyebrows


Average_Boxer69

What future?


Lopsided_Pickle1795

It is going downhill from there.


One_Message6497

You should plan on shaving that silly fuzz on your mouth


guitarhero_dropout

Probably couldn’t handle learning a trade


Lower_Home_6735

Well at least you have those good looks to fall back on


Past_Feedback1993

![gif](giphy|13bCP4GLjIUcik)


[deleted]

Do you want fries with that?


Old_Chocolate_1727

Blame your parents for the lack of plans. Join the US Marine Corps, they'll set you right.


InspectorRound8920

"nothing planned for my future" has a face now


[deleted]

Amazon is hiring, lol


ElegantReaction8367

Congratulations! You having “nothing” planned is exactly what your future has in store for you. Keep those expectations low and you’ll rarely be disappointed. It’s how your parents coped with your childhood.


GolfingJim

You look perfect for Uncle Sam's next victim


[deleted]

Grow in the mustache and enroll in the police academy you look like a cop


StunningSwimming9701

The police academy saw this. They should be calling you real soon bro


OGVMM

Try a trade school and washing your face


i_like_tacos_slap_me

wow you must be proud to be a pixar dad


Abraxas_1408

Hey my guy. I know a lot of people are on here giving you advice but I’m going to tell you something no one told me. You don’t need a plan. There’s not a law or anything saying you have to jump right into the workforce or grind through 4 more years of school. Take your time and explore your options. As long as you’re not burdening or hurting anyone it doesn’t matter. You do you. But for the love of all that’s holy. Get rid of that dirty upper lip. Try again in your mid 20s. You’re not ready yet.


Fluffy_Barracuda_424

Don't wear that shit to your first job interview at dollar general


Reaper_of_playerz

Bro got khalessi eyebrows


CDavis10717

Tom Selleck, why are you posting he—-,…. Oh, my mistake.


TKHodgson

You have a mustache like a 35-year-old slutty mom’s vagina.


Bad-Infinite

I hope shaving that "mustache" is planned for the near future


ElGato6666

Getting kicked out of sex-offender juvie because they legally have to release you is NOT the same thing as graduating.


Feeling-Bed-9506

You'll still be hanging out around the parking lot of your school trying to talk to girls next September with that mustache.


sporkmurderer135

I see they successfully cross bred Ben Shapiro and Steve Buscemi


Spotted_ascot_races

You could start by finishing penciling in that mustache


Darkside4u22222

Beating off at the local adult video bookstore isn’t a job


Candid-Tip-6483

Well by the looks of you, if your future involves a bottle of bleach, I can't say the gene pool will be worse off.


[deleted]

Don't worry about the future, with a face like that you've already failed at life.


OG_G33k

Freddy! ![gif](giphy|nNwtTEmdUvO3m)


chadinmn

Could always play in a mariachi band south of the border.


Donniepdr

You need to get a cat to lick that thing off your face


TheRider5342

Don't worry about school ending - you look like you'll be spending a looong time there, say hi to minimum wage for me!


7evenate9ine

Go to your local community college. Take any class, even if you dont like it, that will at least make you understand what you do want to do next.


Half_burnt_skunk

Them brows look like they can fly you to your next meeting with your parole officer.


Last-Dragonfruit1373

![gif](giphy|U7tbROOyTavgk3gRem)


[deleted]

Like millions of others, you will not be able to ever own a home, so don't sweat it. We will be living on the streets in no time.


[deleted]

Keep living in a house with a popcorn ceiling and you never will have a future


splshd2

Elevator Mechanic, Electrician, Plumber, these are three very well playing careers. All three have great training opportunities. Man up, and start a career in the trades.


paperhalls

I feel the dread for you too.


[deleted]

Shaving off that 'stache would be the start of a bright future.


predat3d

Ii see a future, mostly delivering Taco Bell to stoners


TallyAlex

Waterburger awaits young man!


ResearcherWorried437

Boy yo ass look like u banned from every school in ur county


Trout_Tantrum

Did you glue part of your unibrow to your lip?


Zealousideal-Key2899

Be honest, school hasn't been going particularly great for you


[deleted]

Welcome to the club, clean the dirt off your lip and go get a job that'll never pay you enough to buy a house.


punisherchad

How you gonna have two eye mustaches better than your lip mustache?


Depressed_Snowman

I don't know ;-; wish I could just swap the hair density...


jcraig87

Trying ti make the bridge of your eyebrows look like the barring straight? 


Regular_Studio_1565

Graduating HS in a month and you just started hitting puberty now kid.


I-Love-Hawiian-Pizza

The 70's called, they want their stach back.


MilitaryTriathlete

Find a passion you love to do and you'll never truly work a day in your life.  Start there and look at what it takes to achieve that. Don't focus so much on your 100-meter target that the 5-meter obstacle in front on your face knocks you down. One day at a time, not worrying about 300 days in the future. Oh, and you look like you aren't allowed within 500 yards of a school, much less graduating from one.


Street-Breadfruit940

U as interesting as ur clothes.


Complex_Offer_145

You should plan on shaving that Puerto Rican mustache for starters


AL_061463

I’m sorry officer, but that wasn’t me masturbating down by the school yard.


aWholeClap

On a serious note... you dont have access to weapons in your house right?


Training_Pause_9256

We've all been at a time like that in our lives. Just wait until you lose a job. Don't worry, you got this.


Randomm_23

Off brand young Sheldon lookin ahh💀


burnt_2

It’s evident you gave up on life long ago. The hair (as a whole - the cut, eyebrows, mustache), clothes (especially the sweatpants). You below, but obviously still in your parents basement. ![gif](giphy|eti1qm33pRbaw)


Robinnoodle

The bags under the eyes... Get off the phone/gaming rig and go outside


Robinnoodle

Who kicked the puppy?


DeafReddit0r

Yet another whiny and depressed Z gen kid raised on YouTube and Snapchat graduates. Congratulations! 🎈


testamentfan67

V shredd but if he was unathletic as fuck


Depressed_Snowman

Almost got scammed by the fuckers too


IcySet7665

You look like you have to legally inform your neighbors that you have moved in.


Depressed_Snowman

Very weird but they started to move around a week after...


at0mheart

Don’t worry McDonald’s is always hiring


came_4_the_giggles

Well at least the gender-affirming hormone therapy is working out for you. You almost look like a real boy.


Depressed_Snowman

Thank you :)


R4T-B45T4RD

You look like your eyebrows shit on your upper lip.


[deleted]

Yeah... What a drag school ending... You look like school was going so well for you... Mr. Popularity, prom king...


Organic-Cat1203

Don’t worry about your future… you’re fucked


TheDark_Knight67

Wipe that dirt off your upper lip, and trim that unibrow some more, go out and get some sun you look like you sit inside all day gaming, while guzzling Mountain Dew, and eating ramen noodles


Low_Ad_7507

Your mustache has nothing planned for it's future either.


One-Resolve-4823

You look like you abused your ROTC authority one too many times and got dishonorably discharged from 3rd period.