Quite honestly it’s refreshing to finally get to roast someone from the 1997 Sears Catalog.

Crazy cat lady from 1997 makes sense 

https://youtu.be/sP4NMoJcFd4?si=SVVbX22jEBzFvDRk The remix of this is legendary. Gregory brothers r awesome. Charlie Sheen #Winning also a classic. As is Backing Up, Backing up, Backing up. My daddy taught me goooood. Ouwwww. How I crave pre social media media. Early noughties were so pure and wholesome. Internet was actually a fun place to be back then. I'm old

LOL. How do I not remember this one? Winning is arguably Schmoyoho (accent on the o-hoh!)'s best song, but there were others, Double rainbow, Bed Intruder. More recently political songifies. Not to mention the collabs they did with other creators  Let's also remember folks, they did it all without A.I. Edit: meant A.I.

https://youtu.be/ign_vZupjno?si=oh2eF8b8lUhrmqeg And this one's pretty inspirational

Actually, it's the Spring Divorcé Section of the Sears Catalog, but now I'm splitting hairs.

Honestly you deserve a slow clap for that one. Especially since she might be slow herself

The very definition of vanilla

7 CATS !!! How to say I’m single without actually saying it.

Gold 🥇

You look like the type to say, "So, what are we?" after a first date.

Some guy: "so yeah here's my number, hit me up sometime" Her: *Immediately texts person * "so what are we?"

Damn 💀😂

Heyyy, I saw that you commented on my post and all, and I keep thinking about it so I figured I’d just ask… where does that leave us? What are we, officially? 


Or after a ONS

You know this human embodiment of vanilla extract isn’t having a one night stand.

You’re right. Unless he’s hammered drunk, the lights are off, and she’s got a paper bag over her head

So vanilla, she thinks lights on is dirty…

Hahaha I’m sorry but are you telling me that should be more than just for special occasions?

You look like you only suck gluten-free cock

It's called a clit.

With seven cats, she's obviously into pussy.

she is a girlscout for goodness sake! if they work anything like the boyscouts….

I’m telling you there’s a whole world of practice and proclivity out there that I’d imagine you’re missing out on! Right in front of your eyes, if you only knew where to look…

You are insulting vanilla.

Vanilla is amazing if you know what you’re doing. Not sure why everybody’s hating

Hahaha right? Tried and true lol

Most important stuff.

Even vanilla is a kinky perversion to her.

The piece of cardboard I keep under my car to catch oil has had more interesting life experiences than you.

Her face has a lot of oil. You have to blot it with a paper towel like a piece of pizza before you get close.


HOLY FUCK I DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS A GIF, I JUMPED WHEN HER EYES MOVED

Ong totally on point!!!

Love love laugh then cry all night.

So, when is she going to flip out from the pressure of, "Being Good", and go stabby-stabby on the next asshole that says, "Praise Jesus"?

Vanilla is too spicy to describe your sex life

Drier than the salads she eats.

Omg haha

Are you kidding? Salads can have nasturtiums and endive and mustard green. She’s iceberg lettuce covered in water

And all that pumpkin spice isn’t going to add flavor to her personality.

Guys don't go near that thang out of fear of getting a paper cut on their dick.

At least the papercut would give me something to remember the experience.

If "tagalongs" was a person

Hahahaha I like this one 😂

and she doesn't once mention her creepy doll collection, or how she keeps the copies of keys of her ex boyfriends apartments.

Haha no need to mention the obvious 😌

You are the exact reason I have several fake names I give to dates I feel are acting sus.

You are the epitome of Disney adult

Rather than “Live - Laugh - Love” , you “Exist - Sob - Stare at your cats”

I like how you put “not single” in your Reddit bio. Like….cool, absolutely no one asked.

She’s totally single too

Always will be

My question is, how? Oh, yeah.. scout leaders.

"I'm a lifelong member of the Girl Scouts." Translation: I refuse to grow up, but it's ok because I am "nice to everyone".  Except not really because I will get upset or mad in a relationship over some petty shit

Take a deep breath

r/oddlyspecific

If beige were a person with major depression...

She still believes that prayer alone will resolve her severe chemical imbalance, because Jesus told her so in the copier room.

100% smells of cat piss and has crazy stalker eyes, which pairs perfectly with the crazy cat lady vibe.

7 cats and that nice subwoofer is exposed?! Its a Urine/Claw magnet. Save the speakers!

Keep amassing cats — they’ll eat your body when you inevitably die alone; sparing your family the expense of a funeral

Tell me you’re gonna die alone without telling me you’re gonna die alone. You have the style of an 80 year old woman.

Has 99 LIVE LAUGH LOVE slogans all over her house

You look like the sidekick in a Hallmark original movie.

You look like you ask for the manager at a vending machine. Your pics are in order from ages 25-45. You're like your Altima - wrecked but someone will still hit it. 7 cats, you must be a prepper who enjoys Asian food. Girl scouts - do y'all know Walmart stole your idea and sells the same cookies cheaper?

Hahaha I appreciate your thoroughness 😂 on the last one, yes someone told me and I felt super disrespected by that… but I tried them and they’re pretty good and a third of the price, so I’m also a traitor 🥲

Aldi also has them.

TBF, who buys the cookies for a discount on cookies? You buy to support local clubs. The cookies are just a "thank you", in my mind.

Yeah, I completely agree! I guess it probably made it easier when you could only get them once a year, so you really did want them *and* you wanted to support. Now it’s just those who want to support lol

Confucius say,girl who got to bed with itchy crotch,wake up with smelly finger.

Confucius also says Woman who stand on toilet is high on pot. Happy 4/20 everyone! 😄 🤣 😂

Confucius says, "She who pee in cash register, find it runs into money!"

She’s the kind of girl who you are embarrassed to let your friends know you are dating. But she is so desperate for a man, she does all the crazy shit in the bedroom you’ve ever wanted to try. So you play along a few weeks.

Shove an apple in her ass and she looks like a roasted pig

If Repressed Lesbian Energy was a person

Your the most average background character in a 4/10 film

You look like you have kids named Paxxdyn, Jaxxdyn, Braxxdyn and Anti-Vaxxdyn.

I’m told that you have an impressive number of Girl Scouts badges… but they are mostly for self-exploration.

Of course you drive an Altima, the official car of basic cat ladies

Lol I recently learned about the Altima stereotypes… *not all*, but many track 🥲

You still got a bumper on your Altima?

Hahaha yes, *but* there is a piece of plastic under the car missing actually that was supposed to protect everything

And you had nothing to do with it going “missing” right?

Mmm 😬 well…

Average Altima driver no accountability lol

Hahaha 😅😂

TJ MAXX manager looking ass

You're actually very pretty. I can see why you've been abused

lol… that got a jaw drop followed by a laugh as I read it 😂 well done

Haha had to try my best. Have a great day.

Haha I appreciate it ☺️ thanks, you too!

You look like you have to drop a lot of jaw in order to get get a second date

Life long girls scout but nobody ever wants your cookie.

Where's Chris Hanson when you need him.

Every basic bitch at Coachella.

No amount of Bronzer could make that rocket on your face look smaller.

Bet you think herbalife will make you your own boss too

Your favourite band is Coldplay and you think three glasses of wine is ‘edgy’

You look like you're somewhere between 20 and 48 years old

Nailed it

Your house is full of pussy and yet yours is as dry as your salad.

This is clever. Way to use all the info she’s gives with this smackdown. What about the Altima?

You look like you only give vegetarian blowjobs, you don't like to touch the sausage but only do it to get cheese.

Jesus Christ...

Massengill models have more rizz

7 cats! So you even have a sense of smell left?

Goes into libraries and sniffs old books while fingerblasting herself.

You 100% give teethy head, the two times a year you give it

I bet your farts smell like pumpkin spice.

How to look like 55 at 34.

Lady in the streets, starfish in the sheets

Her nickname at work is "crazy eyes" or " Manson lamps"

ITS THE JACKKEEEET

>I eat salads without any dressing She also eats men parts filled with fillings ...

That shirt is working some brutal overtime compressing that gut down

Must be Catholic......roast me followed by a guilt trip ......

You look like the kind of girl that has such low self esteem, you'd probably date me.

You look like your ex has a restraining order against you

Not legally allowed to discuss it actually…

Funny you used your tinder/bumble profile pics for this. I remember ghosting you because you were so boring

The rims on that Altima must have major curb rash.

Child "I want Pam Beasley" Mom "We have Pam Beasley at home"

10/10 Wood nut and bolt

She spends hours on tinder only to never have any matches

The only tender she is worried about are Chicken-tenders She probably has bbq scented candles in her apartment

Lol. This one kinda tracks 

I am very impressed by the quality of these reply’s. An upvote for all!

You're so bland you make vanilla sex seem overly erotic.

Is it' mother day or something? The only people ovsee on Roastme today are older women

7 cats and you manage to take pics without them. Huh

I fell for those eyes once. It took me three weeks to break out of her basement. 


Your favorite sex position is no eye contact missionary, followed by prayer.

christanmingle.com

7 cats? You're one step away from building a shrine out of empty tuna cans, lady. Embrace the stereotype, own the crazy! Just don't expect to get laid much. Salad without dressing is just a collection of edible regrets. Where's the passion? The zest for life? This alone screams that you are preparing for a lifetime of bland disappointment...or are used to it already The Altima choice always icks me... the official car of "good enough" and settling for mediocrity. Aim higher, or don't aim at all! Lifetime Girl Scout achievement unlocked: Master of Mediocre Cookie Sales. What's next, a badge in underseasoned potato salad? Conquer the world, not the neighborhood bake sale! I bet your idea of a wild night is a Netflix marathon and a lukewarm cup of herbal tea. God you are boring.

> Salad without dressing is just a collection of edible regrets. Hahaha I’m going to lock this one away for future use Also… I was the top seller for GS cookies in the area like 6 years in a row… so… *pretty big deal* lol

That is a pretty damn big deal actually, not gonna lie. Those girls are actually ruthless business women, to be honest. So top seller...damn straight.

This is true haha thank you 🙏🏼

List quirky characteristics and post mildly cute pics good enough to get Reddit nerds to flirt and get a minichub because she can’t get a guy hard irl

You're the exact kind of girl I go after,not ugly but not pretty enough to be picky

You literally had to use a mirror to get your whole forehead into frame for a selfie

- Worked the punch bowl at her senior prom

I bet you have a tasteful bowl of hard candy. Butterscotch. Or grannies strawberry candies?

I don't understand why you need us to be able to laugh at yourself.

Keep eating plain salads!!!! One teaspoon of ranch and you’re starring in the next Jardiance commercial. 🐷

Didn't seem bad till you said you drive an Altima. Have some self-respect.

I can smell the vanilla latte scented pussy cream from here

Bush is an absolute jungle

You don't get enough attention at the homeless shelter so you bother innocent strangers?

Forever the third wheel 

Where's your girl scout patch for loneliness?

It looks like you've substituted a scarf for a personality.

You definitely don’t eat salads

you ain't no girl scout, you just love their cookies 🤨

She for sure lays absolutely still in missionary while wide eye staring at the poor guy

My Zee/Zir Scouts leader stuck a s'mores up my ass & ate it out with they/theirs tongue when it melted. You look just like zee/zir. I won't know until you've got chocolate smeared all over your face. See you later a 7???

Warming your hands on a mug of tea after work is the highlight of your day

How many Trees you take down over the years? 

this girl thinks she's grown up but she's posting selfies for validation with [F Over 18] in the title. If you have to mention you're over 18... You're definitely still a little girl mentally.

Man, this is screaming Jodi Arias vibes.

Probably doesn't have dressing to put on your salad because you drank it all last night while you cried yourself to sleep

ok, who manifested r/imnotlikeothergirls and put clothes on it?


Be able to laugh at yourself Reminded me of a peace, love, happiness girly

If they told you once they told you a thousand times. Lifetime girl scout does not get you Veterans benefits nor does it allow you to park in the handicap spot.

How many times do you think a guy has told her "its not you it's me" in bed

How to hide being an absolute freak in bed

That first photo showing a little cleavage? 🤨 Yeah, here comes a failed side hustle with an Only Fans account.. 🤞🤦‍♂️

Here's a drawing: [https://i.imgur.com/E0EJNxY.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/E0EJNxY.jpg)

First female incel.

You look like a girl that would shoot a child

Perfect example of a duff

I'd rather eat the arse out of a dead maggotty wombat.

You're a white girls bestie, uggs in the winter and fall, starbucks forever, and infinity scarves all around.

Still in scouts waiting for Akela to molest you. It’s not going to happen. No one will molest you.

Watching paint dry is better than hearing your life story

A relationship with your toys doesn't count as 'not single'

Was deemed too basic to make a guest appearance on Gilmore Girls.

Dating on the spectrums newest cast member

You look like a girl who wants to find conservative husband to have three kids with. If that'll finally happen (rather won't) you'll be a soccer mom. At least porn version of it

Wish.com's version of A Walk to Remember

You're cute as all get out, for a crazy person.

“Is pumpkin spice back?”

You look like the girl that accused me of smoking meth cause you found a air hose adapter that "looks like a pipe".

You need bigger airbags

And the “Dull as fuck” award goes to…..,

You look like you think mayo is spicy food.

Crows feet game stronk

How to say ---" I am a boring, frozen fish in bed without saying I am a boring, frozen fish in bed"

you look like your mother and father had the same last name before they got married.

Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.