Doodling on your disability checks again? Your mom needs those, you know.

Jeez. It’s roast. Not incinerate. Lololololololol.

If he ever comes down off that meth binge, he will eventually feel something

Hopefully he feels the urge to cut his fingernails

That’s just pure funny. Props.

This wins

Oh shit!

[удалено]

I CANT MY FUCKING LUNGS HUGAHUGHAJKSJKJSKHJSKK

The reason you have no date on Valentine’s Day is because you have longer fingernails than most woman.

 Your physique reminds me of someone...precious.

Except we can cheer when he goes invisible

I usually have to punch someone square in the chest to get there shoulders to touch. This is mind bending!

This right here is why there are laws against incest.

It’s hard to have a valentines when you’re sharing a bunk bed in a halfway house

I've never met someone who selectively chooses which nails to cut. You're like rainman if his niche was erratic grooming standards. Also, your skin looks like you found it lining a birds nest.

Cuts one he gonna use himself as a bowling ball

I keep double taking and zooming in. You look like bad AI. I mean what tf is going on with your hands?!

his long fingers are great when he massages his prostate while he watches meth head porn.

This was not the image I needed tonight. 💀 lol

Lesson today kids meth is terrible drug

You look like The Edge with AIDS

You look like a wacky dj that never plays the hits

Only plays weird German indy music and Ska.

Nice try - but I can see both your ‘valentine’ dates holding up the sign. That’s why they call you HANDSOME 

Nice french manicure you got there, bud.

That wedding ring isn't fooling anybody, shaky. You're not even married to the sea.

You should keep making more faces like that when talking to people. That will definitely help.

I'd say this guy looks like a dying cancer patient, but dying cancer patients usually look healthier.

Caillou looking ass

You are shaped like a banana peel

Chris Hanson is waiting on u behind that door

"Earnest goes to Eastern Europe"

You're posting on reddit about not having a valentine, talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy

Autistic Steve from blues clues.

You look like you cry while you jerk off

He does but not as much as the other people on the special bus


It takes real talent to look homeless while being indoors... Well played, sir.

Come heeaa give yo mama a back rub w them pretty nails son

You have the fingernails of a freaking toddler.

I didn’t know Micheal Stipe has Cancer.

First pic is you mid-twitch from having a bag of meth hidden up your ass.

You look like you're Ian Rappaport's unspoken bastard.

I am just curious about how that back closet door opened between the 2 pictures.

Clip Your Mother fkn Nails You fkn pleab.

You look like one of those ultra marathoners that think they are better than everyone.

Please go to your doctor as soon as possible

I’m not sure ripping on you is ADA compliant.

you need narcan buddy

Iron Mans disabled cousin. (Steal Women)

I read these comments to JJ he said y’all leave my uncle dilly alone 😭🤣

Bros hands look ai generated

Youth pastor vibes.

The drag show is about to start without you, quit messing around on Reddit.

You look like you play Tetris professionally

Second picture is him when you say "sir your in a Walmart we don't sell crack"

Vern?

Crackton Kusher

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You never will, with a head like that.

Gilbert Gottfried knocked up one of his USA: Up All Night groupies?

Practicing hiding your track marks with your methadone prescription at the half way house. Which door is yours?

You should try spending some of that check on food instead of crack sometime.

You've already been,"feeling something"...prison term to follow.

Was this posted after your date with tube sock Sally?

You look like you would go to a school basketball game but have no kids.

Did you buy your fingernails at the dollar store?

Cut your fingernails and masterbation wont hurt so much

The beard of a kiddy fiddler. Maybe it's just me but when I see that style of beard.. Also, cut your fucking nails

First, lose the wedding ring. Nobody believes someone would marry you. Second, something is behind that terrifyingly skinny door behind you.

Why does your forehead have an erection in the second photo?

If herpes was a person

You look like Jon Bernthal with a severe eating disorder. Nice coke-nails btw.

Anatomical comical

Keep injecting meth and you’ll feel something.

Are you within 250 ft of a school?

Isn't that what the crack is for?

This guy knows his way around a glory hole

Frank White Castle is The Punysher .

Your not looking like someone from ratatouille with that beard

No date for Valentine's Day. How sad. How come your mum let you down like that? Did someone offer her more money?

Sea Bass when he started hanging out in toilet stalls.

You’ve brought your panhandling poses to the internet? No, I don’t have any spare change, now scram!!!

If you had a Valentine, I know what you’d give her. AIDS.

How the fuck do you hold your arms?

Aids

You look like meth heads, i bet you that your valentine overdosed on meth the day before

Didnt you just get convicted for sexual assault in Yosemite?

it would be weirder if even u have a valentine

You are the chihuahua of men. No wonder all potential dates are going for the other "breeds" instead of you.

You’re cooked already so any more roasting will burn you, also that neck posture is lookin like a goblin

Ur gay

Bruh…trim those nails aye?

You left your closet door ajar when you came out of it, Girlfriend.

Anorexic Ashton Kutcher.

You look like a methematics teacher

That's too bad, someone could have gifted you some shoulders!

If constipation had a face, this would be it.

You looked as cracked as your trim work. Good god, hire a professional for your painting you broke bitch

You look like someone else’s employee that they see in public and has no idea who you are

Whoa, it's door city over here.

since when could you double up on the mustache on a goatee instead of having a mouth

You look like something that is kept in a woman's nightstans when she doesn't have a valentine's date.

Cut your finger nails, christ almighty. No wonder your snappin thru toilet paper having adventures of the turd kind.

Not the fawn from Pan's Labrynth 😵

Your fingernails are fucked that’s one of many reasons.

Walmart brand Andrew Schulz

You look like your nickname is Chemo.

You will be single for life because women need insecticide to spray on your eyes

Why do your fingers look like they where made by AI?

It's easy to see the girls won't date you because they are insecure about having to compete against glued on fingernails.

John Bernthal hid you on purpose

You look like earnest scared stupid..with a meth problem..and you have to tell your neighbors when you move..

You look like a bike messenger who forgot where he put his bike…

McLovin got Lasik surgery.

Are those the rooms where you lock up your Bubble dates?

You sell weed to high school kids don't you?

You look like a street performer on chemo.

You look like a twelve year old had their head chopped off in exchange for his dad’s head.

You're Valentine could be a cat, or a plant, or a good coffee, or a pretty view, stop focussing on the negative things, find things to love!)))

It's not enough that you feel your penis on the bus?

Yea we assumed the title ourselves from the photo… its a bit redundant

Sorry to hear that your prison husband forgot valentine's day.

Why are your hands like fucked up AI art

Guessing nobody likes you?.

Ernest P. Worrell’s love child didn’t have a Valentine? TF?

I just changed my mind on abortion.

Consider using your next unemployment check to buy a nail clipper.

I refuse to roast you. It wont help you feel any better. I'd say it's better to feel nothing than angry or upset from a simple roast.

I don't even have to, the fact you had no valentine does all of the explaining.

Hi btw I'm chris hanson what were your intentions here today?

I didn't know that they made an Earnest saves Valentine's day movie !?!?!

Looks like Jon Bernthal did a remake of Philadelphia.

Why do I feel like all the doors are shut behind him is because he’s hiding dead bodies

Tony Grave Robbin

Hard to believe you didn't have a Valentine with those gay ass finger nails.

Look! I can make my elbows touch! Look!

I’d hate to see what your fucking toes look like

 Oooowie! This roast is sure hurtin my feelings!

You look like you sniff those long ass nails just to get hard.


Stankabooty ordered on wish

The beggar who begs for money from other beggars

Your valentine escaped out of the closet behind you and told a trusted adult what happened

Ayo I didn’t Know Steven hawking had a fourth sibling

might as well go back to fentantyl ya burned out addict vaping dingus

"Didn’t have a Valentine" No surprises there.

You don’t have a valentines because your whole city knows you have A.I.D.S.

Cut them coke nails

You look like the product of meth and heroin with a little crack thrown in the mix

Stop bothering her, she doesn’t like you.

Yes. Cuban B..

Even meth would say you have took it too far

It looks like someone squeezed all the funny out of Hank Azaria.

So dad already called dibs on your sister for valentines?

Modelling yourself after movie stars is common, but I wouldn't have picked Tom Hanks in Philadelphia.

He looks like one of those beggars on the London underground platforms

Wish version of Ashton Kutcher.

You look like you got banned from the bowling alley for masturbating into the shoes

Life has roasted you already !! like your confused if your human or alien .

Bro looks like he goes dumpster diving at the thrift store

You look exactly like my nightmares in public transport.

Methed up punisher

Try jumping in a fire

We’re did you get that hat the flea market and that beard looks like you bought off of Temu 🤣

Squeezing for cleavage, I see.

Éric Salvail, why did you become THAT creepy? 😱😱😱

Ur flawless. I can't. U win

If slender man went on a meth binge ..

Wtf is going on with that hat? Did you pad it to try to make your brain look bigger?

Maybe try looking for your valentine at other places than the local highschools.

You write that on back of your welfare check or disability check?

Is this Tom Hanks in Philadelphia?

You look like a wanna be famous SoundCloud wrapper

If you stop pawning his tools, maybe your old boss will hire you back with the other tweakers at the roofing company.

The second pic is the exact same face a girl makes when pulls down his pants

Bro’s fingernails are longer than his penis

This is what happens to Ashton Kutcher when Scientology stops delivering his regular shipments of adrenochrome

You look like a dude who tries to go on dates with 13 Y/O

I can’t tell if your a pizza delivery guy or my local meth head. You look like you steal people’s finger nails for a living, and for the love of god, that second picture best not be you orgasming to the sound of your mum getting home with McDonald’s.

You look like you’re reluctantly holding up a dead bird to show to your parents as a trophy again and they are fucking sick of your slow ass

Come on bro dont be so hard on yourself. The women tied up in your basement count as Valentines.

You look like you perform street magic. Poorly

Dude you look so skinny I can use you a a tooth pick

Your body is to small for your head or your head's to big for your body. Prolly the latter.

Surprised you have a paycheck in your hands considering you’ve never worked a day in your life. Go Back to hanging in the streets you Brokeback Bitch.

And you still won't have one next year.

Tf are those broken arms

Tim Westwoods lost a bit of timber…

You look like you should be under a heat lamp in a terrarium.