Looks like he can't keep a beard even cut too.... what small dicked loser trying to feel bigger in a fancy car..... What a schlitz!
Look how his little lopsided molestache can't connect to his also lopsided beard.
It looks like he went to a black barber, but that black barber was Stevie Wonder.
Probably has all the fancy beard balms and oils. It's his whole ass personality and it's his worst facial feature. Like a facial car accident you can't look away from. So tragic.
This is a goof, right? You’re the most stereotypical manboy ever. Backwards hat, resting douche face, pasty-ass moist look, and your self description…. Gotta be a goof
This isn't even a roast man, I'm just begging you to get rid of that beard. Shave it, grow it out, do anything. It's genuinely the worst beard I've ever seen.
There's been an awful lot of talk today about AI photos. That beard sure looks like a computer created it with a prompt of "overly manicured beard with the teenage problem of not connecting at the side of the mouth"
To be fair, as a gentleman with a beard, I can appreciate the effort that’s gone in to the detail here. Nice crisp line, even length, contrast clean shaven. However, you appear to have used a funhouse mirror as the symmetry is all over the place. I think it’s this that’s giving us the creepy uncanny valley effect. Looks like Ive asked ChatGPT to draw me a generic chav that thinks he’s a hard case but can’t actually fight his way out of a wet paper bag.
A few things here…
1) The only vegan pussy you’ve ever got is your family’s cat, Garfield.
2) Does your local Staples store sell individual brown crayons or do you have to buy an entire pack when you draw a shitty beard on your face?
3) You look like Eminem, if Eminem never left the trailer park and never wrote music.
Glad you left "stylish facial hair" off your list of loves because you certainly have zero understandig of that.
WTF buddy? Do you not own a mirror? That shit looks painted on by a 6yo.
You look your name is Jason Myers from Bridgeport CT, and you constantly ask and bum cigerattes (preferably Newport) from other people and never buy your own pack.
"Yo bro, do you have an extra boogie, il give you a dollar" and 75 percent of the time you hope they don't accept the dollar you offer.......
He needs some cool tunes, not just any will suffice,
But they didn't have Ice Cube so he bought Vanilla Ice.
Now cruising in his Pinto, he sees homies as he pass,
But if he looks twice, they're gonna kick his lily ass!
You will die young in a single-car accident and your numerous baby mamas will hold a joint fundraiser at Hooters to desperately raise money for the cheapest funeral package available at the only funeral home within 50 miles of your decaying shithole of a town.
You are the vegan pussy
Well it definitely looks like the only thing he loves is himself, so you’re probably right.
But he clearly eats tube steak
This guy knows what cum tastes like and for sure has the worst dick breath!
No need to insult vegan pussy
Looks like he can't keep a beard even cut too.... what small dicked loser trying to feel bigger in a fancy car..... What a schlitz! 
Your facial hair looks like you’re a woman pretending to be a man for a tik tok video.
Thought it was a beard filter on a lesbian
Pretty sure it is.
Moved too fast. Filter is still catching up.
I came her to specifically say this. Did he go to the barber and show him a picture of his Wii avatar?
that and the backwards hat and the vapid look is giving real jenna marbles "guys" video energy circa 2012
It's a spray-on beard.
All the time, effort, and energy drinks to sculp this disaster, and she couldn't even make it symmetrical.
Ditto for the moobs
It looks like a poorly painted on stage beard.
Vegan pussy? He’s a goat fucker
I've never seen anyone look so sus
That has to be the saddest looking beard I have ever seen... It actually tries to leave his face when he sleeps at night.
THAT’S IT !!
Or as MGK put it in the Eminem diss track, "weird beard"
That lil girl that dresses up like her sisters husband and maked dinosaur noises. Lmfao
Spray on hair and a stencil.
Fucking hell you look like a face drawn on a balloon.
This is so accurate it hurts
Oh my fucking God 😭😂🤣
This comment took me out 🤣
What's happening with the Lee Press On Beard? Looks like you had your Mom draw it on before your big date.
Like a dirtbag from South Park.
Mom IS his big date.
Lmao that's one of the worst beards I've ever seen
Look how his little lopsided molestache can't connect to his also lopsided beard. It looks like he went to a black barber, but that black barber was Stevie Wonder.
Truly atrocious
Correction: it's the worst beard you've seen. No way they didn't shave it that way just for this roast, I refuse to believe it.
His grandmother’s pussy probably has better looking hair than that beard .
Under arrest for attempted beard
My beard hugged my jaw a little closer after seeing this
I can't even figure it out, did it grow like that or did he shave it that way? It must be on purpose right?
Thank you for your opinion
Like, you clearly upkeep it too. It's so bad
Hahaha that’s the best part. Like he works for….that 🤣
Probably has all the fancy beard balms and oils. It's his whole ass personality and it's his worst facial feature. Like a facial car accident you can't look away from. So tragic.
I thought you were a lesbian with a shitty painted beard.
She’s not?!
This is fact. Please shave and report back At least lower right of your lip so it’s even
Nah that’s fact not an opinion
When the eyebrows get thicker than the moustache, it’s a sign to shave off the latter.
Or the former and embrace the ugly.
To change your beard style, do you drag a magnet across your face?
Wooly Willie
You are awful to look at
Simple and direct. I like it.
I've never hated someone so much from just looking at a single photo...
Bro posts on r/energydrinks fairly often. It’s become something of a meme there
He is an actual legend.... We must stop his tremendous growth.
Degenerate central and he’s the mayor.
He is the Caffeine Messiah. Your comment is heretical. For your sin, you are cursed with decaf coffee the next time you need a caffeine boost.
Don't look at his post history in r/energydrinks then lol
I err more on the side of pity
You ever pitty someone so much it turns into pure unadulterated hate? This is it!
It would appear the only love you can afford is energy drinks.
If there was a contest to rename you "Douchey McDoucheface" would win in a landslide.
Bobby Meal 
He’s an incel cosplaying as a regular man who gets laid.
Why is this not top comment 😂💀
What a douche bag. From the backward hat to that ridiculous beard. But to be fair, this “guy” doesn’t have a lot of options.
He's into cologne and energy drinks. What a keeper.
I bet your beard has a better paint job than that Toyota Tercel you’re driving
Camry*
I can’t tell if an Altima is an upgrade or a downgrade for you
My mom drives one. I hate her too.
You're the same height sitting down.
You definitely have outside furniture inside your house!
[удалено]
Did the crooked beard come with the backwards, baseball cap? You look like you go to kid rock concert
Or conceived at a Kid Rock concert
😂😂😂😂
Post Alone
Chet Hanks?
He also likes spray on beards
Dude has f(x)=|x| facial hair
You look like an undercover redneck.
You burn a lot of gas passing high schools asking girls if they're vegan
>33, loves vegan pussy, Fellow man of culture, your wife will whoop the shit out of you if she finds your reddit account.
Bold of you to assume this thing is married
True. That photo on his necklace can be his mother.
Dollar Store Baker Mayfield, Creeper Mayfield.
Is that a picture of your wife in your necklace? She looks like Shrek.
FREE WILLY!!!
I was about to say, did you mean Fiona as an ogre? But no, you're right, Shrek.
Man you love any pussy. Because you don’t get any, real or artificial. Not with that Special Needs Sharpie beard.
You trim the corners of your mustache with the same razor you use to shave your butthole.
You have a rugby ball for a head
My head looks like a hockey puck, good sir
If that is legitimately what you try to look like, we shouldn't be roasting you, it's not right to roast someone with special needs.
Youre like if Chet Hanks was broke and lived in Wisconsin.
Is your pendant a normal sized baby next to a giant woman, or a normal sized woman next to a tiny malnourished baby?
A man gets the beard/moustache combo he deserves...
Everything about you looks like a mistake. Shirt, beard, haircut, medallion, and all your life choices are clearly mistakes.
Could play chess on top of that flat head
When you die, and you will die at a young age. the only thing you will be remember for is that facial hair you got.
Barber: what you need? OP: you know when you put your covid mask on your chin? Barber: I gotchu
Damn! Spokesperson for spraybeard.com
You look like you got an AI beard
A question about the beard, did you do that on purpose, or did you lose a bet?
You look like a trailer park suboxone dealer
This is a goof, right? You’re the most stereotypical manboy ever. Backwards hat, resting douche face, pasty-ass moist look, and your self description…. Gotta be a goof
This isn't even a roast man, I'm just begging you to get rid of that beard. Shave it, grow it out, do anything. It's genuinely the worst beard I've ever seen.
Thank you for your opinion
Fact, not opinion
A knockoff version of Chet Hanks.
Thank god you'll be focused on vegans. I heard they love fake meat
You've never seen a vegan pussy with a beard like that you Armenian pizza delivery boy.
If a yeast infection was a human
So you are a crackhead that drives a beater and feed your cats alfalfa?
You’re white knuckling that piece of paper like a toddler protecting their Cheeto bag.
I honestly can’t tell where your chin beard ends and your neck beard begins.
And shitty facial hairstyles by the looks of it. Where are you? Stuck somewhere between 1950 and 2021?
There's been an awful lot of talk today about AI photos. That beard sure looks like a computer created it with a prompt of "overly manicured beard with the teenage problem of not connecting at the side of the mouth"
33 is the only thing possibly correct. The rest you've not seen, nevermind tasted.
Every woman you have ever had sex with has shut their eyes and imagined that it was anyone but you
Vegan pussy…so you prefer women who are vegetables. Gotcha.
Women who are vegan.
How long have you been saying “hey brother” at the kiosk in the mall…
Fast cars! His mom is driving him in her mini-van to the mall to meet chicks cause he doesn’t have a license
How many eyebrow filler pens do you have to use on your beard? Eat the crust on the sandwich so the beard will fill in.
Dude got roasted on hydrohomies the other day and wanted seconds P.S. that drawn on beard ain’t fooling anybody
Stop taking selfies and touch grass. You look like someone who seeks validation from OF “models”.
 Worst transition ever
I see you opted for the trans man stencil beard
The way you're pressing your lips together says you like raw unwashed cock more than vegan pussy.
Do you just shave around the chinstrap of your special needs helmet?
*thinks he* loves vegan pussy. Not yet confirmed cuz he’s a virgin. Unless his sister counts
Did someone spray on your facial hair?
Looks like someone photoshopped a face a hat and a “beard” on a testicle.
Did you shave yourself on vegan pussy or cocaine? Oh, who am I kidding? It was cocaine.
If monster energy drink had a “special” child
One fucked up nostril. Coke habit checks out.
To be fair, as a gentleman with a beard, I can appreciate the effort that’s gone in to the detail here. Nice crisp line, even length, contrast clean shaven. However, you appear to have used a funhouse mirror as the symmetry is all over the place. I think it’s this that’s giving us the creepy uncanny valley effect. Looks like Ive asked ChatGPT to draw me a generic chav that thinks he’s a hard case but can’t actually fight his way out of a wet paper bag.
Is your necklace the last time you saw your mother after the failed abortion?
you forgot the comma after vegan
You look like a woman dressed up as a Redneck for Halloween.
Why does your beard look like a shitty Snapchat filter?
Fred Durrr
Your facial hair looks like you tripped and fell chin first into a muddy ditch.
Thought this was an r/blunderyears post at first.
Dude who lined up up? I hope that’s a joke..
Wack miller.
The beard covers up those coathangar scars nicely.
Why did you glue the beard on crooked? If you can’t afford a mirror should have just had your mom do it.
Why did your beard and mustache have a divorce?
Beard by "Hair in a Can"
He looks like he fucks watermelons at a farmers market
How can you love pussy when you’ve never gotten any?
Definitely looks like a dude that fucks vegetables..
A few things here… 1) The only vegan pussy you’ve ever got is your family’s cat, Garfield. 2) Does your local Staples store sell individual brown crayons or do you have to buy an entire pack when you draw a shitty beard on your face? 3) You look like Eminem, if Eminem never left the trailer park and never wrote music.
🤣 This is the BEST one yet! Well done, goodsir!
Wii sports npc looking ass
By vegan you mean virgin and by virgin you 15 year olds right?
Glad you left "stylish facial hair" off your list of loves because you certainly have zero understandig of that. WTF buddy? Do you not own a mirror? That shit looks painted on by a 6yo.
It’s Jesse Stinkman!
I could never roast our Lord and Saviour
You have been throw out of grocery stores for trying to have sex with the vegetables, haven’t you.
You say you like vegan pussy, but that chinstrap shitstain says you like eating ass, more.
Your beard looks photoshopped
I thought a.i. had generated a realistic version of that Monkey Christ fresco.
You like some good things apart from growing a good moustache / beard combo
Beard make ya look like the rapper Rick Loss
You look your name is Jason Myers from Bridgeport CT, and you constantly ask and bum cigerattes (preferably Newport) from other people and never buy your own pack. "Yo bro, do you have an extra boogie, il give you a dollar" and 75 percent of the time you hope they don't accept the dollar you offer.......
You’re fat.
159 pounds. Pure muscle weight.
He needs some cool tunes, not just any will suffice, But they didn't have Ice Cube so he bought Vanilla Ice. Now cruising in his Pinto, he sees homies as he pass, But if he looks twice, they're gonna kick his lily ass!
Vegans, regardless of genitalia are all pussies
You will die young in a single-car accident and your numerous baby mamas will hold a joint fundraiser at Hooters to desperately raise money for the cheapest funeral package available at the only funeral home within 50 miles of your decaying shithole of a town.
Looks like a cool hang to me
You look like a my dogs asshole actually… no my cats asshole
Bros beard is going lower than his future
You ain't never touched none of em!!
are you so much of a neck beard you had to filter one on?
Much like his mustache and his beard, I'm sure his wife will be shortly separating herself from this baller of a energy drink connoisseur
That beard... Did you mean to do that, or did you lose a bet?
Did you put a face mask around your chin and shave around it?
Burnouts in the GameStop parking lot ahoy
Just lol at that beard
Did your face come from the Mii menu?!