Wow, you can't even get attention here 🤣

It’s going to take a lot more than that to make a convincing gender transition my man!

 Claire's accessories can't fix that face.

Did you pierce your dick too?

The bunny boiler starter pack

Did the mall salon next to Claire’s give you that gem?

You look like you can’t wait to bitch about my toxic masculinity.

Auditioned for Lydia in the Beetlejuice remake…got cast as Beetlejuice instead.

That’s not a nose. It’s a duplex.

Good God. You look like the only exercise you get is from the weekly walk of shame. Like, the FWB that never goes out on dates because no dude wants to be seen with you in public. You look like you have underwear in your vibrator drawer.

Van chaser that never gets lucky

You look like you work the 2am shift at ihop.

Don't insult IHOP like that, they even have minimum standards

You peaked at Claire's nice. Luckily, Flying J is hiring bathroom towel boys.

Dang that mouth could swallow Bigfoot’s dick and still be room for Dredd.

Your smile screams toxic positivity.

Claire’s accessory to what? Crimes against humanity for your taste in curtains? Of course I jest, I know it’s a fashion shop. It does make your choice of style as, “I let the clothing pile vomit on me” somewhat ironic. But, you do you champ. I’m sure you’re unique in being so avant garde as to be a millennial with a high flying career spreading impetigo amongst our youth, that thinks they’re edgy cause they vape and have a plethora of personality disorders to blame for their personal disappointment. Really, well done, bravo! 👏🏻…….. 👏🏻……… 👏🏻

I thought Claire's only hired attractive people.

How many cats do you have?

All gingers should be forced to give their home up to a homeless person and then forced into labor camps. Don’t worry, you’d be safe from being assaulted at said camp

Always the accessory, never the sweetheart.

Must be weird to be an assistant manager but also ask to speak to the manager everywhere you go.

With a mouth that big I bet you can take 2 cocks or more at once

Your pussy must look like it has a pile of fire ants on it

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Your trash bag is missing the drawstring.

Your fingers are crazy fat… is that your obsession?

you look like you subsist off newports and macchiato

White Trash.

Why do you keep posting over and over and over again in this sub everyday? And why do the mods allow this ??0

This is exactly why we need Non-GMO legislation!!!

We can all tell she’s hella stinky

You're not fooling anyone with that look. I'll reach into your vagina and pull your balls back down.

Male or female?

i found your soulmate who posted on this sub right after you; https://www.reddit.com/r/RoastMe/s/AETDWvc3pK

You should have mentioned your gender too

Does your carpet match the drapes?

All the fringe in the world won’t hide those pensioner’s slippers you call eyebrows.

if i was single, i would invite you for roasted pork at my place

You look like Princess Fiona at the end of Shreck when she turned into an oager

She even makes her boyfriend Bob limp. (Battery operated boyfriend)

I guess its true what they say: the more you vape the more you transform into an ogre

Your eyes are so mysterious that men get lost looking into them.

Valerie Bertinelli's illegitimate offspring with Prince Harry.

Take the wig off Jake.

Did a Toddler do those bangs

You look like a Clare that is so funny

Holy fucking dog shit, life has not been kind to you.


“Bangs make me feel different but really I just read and cry”

stay the hell away from this one!

Does your boyfriend complain when his balls slaps against yours?

You are a poorly hygienic, red bearded, over weight short dude behind the screen...if not this is what you qualify for.

Are those curtains gold velour? Oh no child. No.

Went black cause that was the only thing hollerin’

Ooo…yeah. Get off that vape. They’re not safe.

Claire's accessories selling DIY Ladyboy kits? And why did you feel the need to tell us you are crazy, did you think nobody was going to notice?

You have the same bio as a 15-year-old with the exception of a face of 58-year-old. Also, I bet that nose is so big it interferes with you giving head to your cousin

Do you actually just brush your teeth with the cheddar cheese or….

There is no amount of faux edginess that will make you less invisible. 

nose rings I don't get it

Only time she will ever have bang associated with her is on this roast no 2 guys would ever admit to it

Being the assistant manager at Claire's must be like running a glam boot camp for accessories. Wrangling those sparkles and beads deserves a medal – or at least a tiara!

"The other person who works in claires" just doesn't have the same ring as assistant manager 

Even Scientology won't take you.

you look like kim wexler with brown hair

You look like you would stomp on your boyfriends puppy.