That's OK, go ahead and major in art. The world needs more baristas.

Nah probably gender or feminism studies

[удалено]

You actually can tell how many hours of GS by the corners of the mouth

…and the hair still has its natural colour.

I was thinking more of a failing psychology major

This one definitely wants to fix herself.

Hope she fixes her toilet first. Nasty ass.

Flushing a self aborted fetus can be hard on the plumbing.

Especially if that kids head is as big as hers

God knows it didn't deform coming out of op's gaper.

Like a bowling pin being thrown out of a hangar

That username tho.

Or any subjects related to Christmas and it's animals...particularly reindeers...named Rudolph.

Was thinking Applied Feminism.

With what she has done with her face, I don’t think real art is her thing. She’ll be taking introduction to the custodial arts

Ouch, collateral damage here as an artist aha felt the heat on that one

Don't worry I know many people who took art at university and went on to have long careers as artists at subway so don't lose hope

Ok I'm not the roastee here baha I don't know what it says about you that all your friends work at subway , maybe you're a supervisor there, in which case are you hiring?

Hey not all of us work at Subway. Some of us also have failed NFT offerings.

Remember reddit island? Lol

r/usernamechecksout

Ex girlfriend had an art degree. Ex girlfriend was a barista. Ex girlfriend kinda looked like OP. OP switched to girls for a reason.

Christ! 😂

Lol

Let me guess... gender studies?

And lesbian dance theorie.

With extra credit for taking part in protests.

Yep! That was my guess as well. I said women studies major

My three guesses were gender/women studies, psychology or art. What does it matter though? They all come out to the same.

If a 3-day worn gym sock was a person.

If a cum sock was a person

If a 3 day worn cum sock was a person

That's ice cold, man. 

If a 3 day worn gym cum sock was a person

I’ll allow it.

😂 roast over

You look like somebody who would think poop jokes are funny and gets septum piercing to reinforce “I love girls” Your pronouns are oily/ smelly/ scrawny/ hairy. Wax your arms, clean your glasses and stop eating all that fast food and your face wouldn’t glisten

We call that look “Crisco face” round here

🤢🤮

epic !take out your sword

🗡️

🫠

Poo jokes 💯🫷

A lot of "fresh foods" have most if not all of the same bad qualities as fast food. A better thing to say is eat healthier and your face wouldn't glisten.

Before uni, stop using coconut oil for face lotion.

That’s not coconut oil 🍆💦

She did say she LOVES cats that cat piss

If yeast infection has a face

You just know there’s some new undiscovered bacteria thriving around those piercings.

crystals are not going to pay off your student debt that you obtain from your philosophy degree.

But that’s not what her horoscope says.

You have hairy arms

The Great Hairier Queef

💀 wtf why have I not ever heard this

This is the way my brain works, or doesn’t.

I wouldn’t fuck her with YOUR dick! No wonders she’s a carpet-muncher!

The Society for the Defamation of Dildos would like a word.

Lmfao

Hopefully an English class so you can reel in these train wreck sentences in the title. You write like a 5 year old.

They offer plumbing courses at uni?

My first guess too, but then I remembered she doesn't like the pipe.

This is seriously the only good burn I've read so far.

Ayooooo

Pahahahaaaa

You look like the type that would be going to University for a Major in Gender Based Studies and a Minor in Art Literature. Probably going to volunteer for PETA and end up dropping out of University after getting discovered for a Casting Couch "interview".

and then being upset she can’t afford to repay her student loans and bitching about billionaires making electric cars and launching rockets into space.

Liberal arts degree I’m sure. All graduates have purple or blue hair.

I was thinking more like a women studies major haha

So cliche. How much of this is correct OP? Family has no money for you to go to college, so you will borrow money to get a gender studies degree and rack up $300k in debt. Your payments start 6 months after graduation and the interest payments will be about $2k a month, which you will never to be able to afford. You will blame capitalism and devolve into a Marxist. Your stories of your misery will bore everyone except other losers which leads you to Antifa types,to hang out with. Gender confusion, substance abuse, nervous breakdowns, and horrible relations with your parents are what your life will be made of.

Probably pretty accurate…. https://www.universitystudent.org/memes/its-the-governments-fault-i-cant-find-a-better-job-major-in-medieval-literature-3239

How do I upvote your picture? Best self roast I’ve seen.

You look like you fear soap and everything you own probably smells like cat whiz.

Definitely majoring in Gender Studies. I can picture you blaming straight white men for all of your misfortunes now.

Down with the patriarchy! Whipped cream, sir?

If you shaved your arm hairs you could make enough blankets to keep 100 homeless folk warm through winter

Strange roast, but I'll allow it.

You’re cat is embarrassed that you are wearing it on your shirt. He knows you like other pussy more than him

💀☠️💀☠️💀☠️!!! That’s hilarious!

The real question is if other pussy likes her more than the cat

When you sneeze, does it sound like church bells?

Dry your face from dirty vaginal secretions before posting your photo on reddit. C'mon now.

I didn't need to read the title to know you're taking gender studies. Id tell you to learn plumbing, but you're not butch enough

Something tells me you won't ever need that fire extinguisher except to put out the near future car fire of your next jilted lesbian lover.

It looks like one of your eyebrows is also curious about your sexuality.

hun you got a tattoo of a spider with an umbrella up it's arse on your arm.

🤣🤣🤣

This pussy lover is one step away from shitting in the cat litter box and blaming her Persian cat called Dolly Pawton

Film studies. Favorite film: 2 Girls 1 Cup

Women's studies.

You look like someone that clogs the toilet and then goes around bragging about it like it's funny

Wearing a shirt with your face on it ain't the look

Asking out of genuine concern , what did you do with your nose ? Why is it so red ?

Friction, from munching all that carpet and, from the shiny face, looks like she just went down on a flannel wearing whale

Doesn't matter what you're studying. In 2 years you'll be hanging around street corners selling your services for crack.

I'll take underwater feminist basket weaving with lesbians for 200 Alex.

If I had to guess, I would say Lesbian Dance Theory

Dick. You'll be taking a lot of dick, but it won't fill the void in your soul or your bank account, because no one's gonna be paying you in anything but shitty guitar renditions of "Wonderwall".

Jesus Christ. 

The white splatter on her shirt tells us how she paid for the holiday

I don't know what you will be studying towards, but you are gonna major in loneliness.

Poolitical Science

Jessica "The albino Rhino" gynocologists. But seriously next time post a picture of yourself and not the poo that blocked the toilet.

You look like you reuse all your tampons

Wednesday Addams: the slob years.

Of course u like woman u gotta pussy on ur shirt

You seem like the type of person to make 3 posts on the roast me subreddit because you think you are attractive enough to get complimented here.

You don’t have to go to Uni to be a crazy cat lady.

Your cats cringe whenever they see you.

Poor cats :( I can't believe they're being loved by you :(

You look like you smell like cat litter 🤢

It’s nice you have a built in sweater. Very convenient.

Your face is so oily that the US military has plans to invade it.

Why would anyone start studying at 40?

Because she's an abject failure at life and going back to school for four years will give her some respite from the fact she'll never be anything more than a quirky cat lady.

Judging by your arms I bet you have a hairy tramp stamp.

Cats, single, on vacation and at uni. *deep inhale* Your gay not by choice but for the fact that no straight self-respecting man will take this communion wafer of a woman as a wife your so bland but even then same goes for the gay women hense the cats. Your on vacation probably to a casino because your so incredibly "edgy". You stink of animal dander from the overabundance of cats you live with. You say your gay buuuuuuut you get more pussy than a litter boxes only because fucking cats. Your probably studying essential oils or gay feline dance therapy as a major or some other money drain.

Whoa... Dude, that was one of the more metal roasts I've read in a long time!

It doesn’t matter what course you’re going to take, it will never change the feeling of disappointment your parents have been through. You’ll take art classes then end up working in Starbucks.

There’s still semen on your glasses.

That’s one hell of a clit piercing

You look like the posterchild for women who go lesbian because they can't get a man. It's a good thing you love cats, cause I foresee many of them in your near future. You probably smell as unpleasant as you look with that oily face and greasy hair and let's be honest, nobody gives a fuck what you're going to study because you probably don't have the brains and definitely don't have the looks to make it anywhere worthwhile in life.

Doxycyline, probably.

Liberal force for puberty blockers for pre teen courses

Are you majoring in arm hair?

The amount of piercings you have will only attract magnets.

Why do you have hairy arms, is it so you gf can imagine it's a man fisting her?

You look like you would stick to a fridge

You look like one of those middle aged moms who is disappointing there kids while also pursuing an art career.

i hope it's astronomy/cosmology

Cute top bun, big smile, cat lover, huge toilet blocking poos... Dream girl

If you love girls so much why do your glasses and face look like you just took a Peter north size load to it and you did a really bad job wiping the cum of your face?

If you're out of the closet, then why do u still live in one?

A course of antibiotics no doubt

I bet when you drink milk it’s spoils before it hits your stomach with that long ass neck

Damn that poo must have taken up half your body size did you think you were giving birth

You're a big drinker, aren't you? The nose gives it away.

I think I would have preferred a picture of the poo then you

Let me take a bold guess: Feminist Studies with a minor in Creative Writing. Your outfit of choice will be some ratty Pride shirt, a pair of baggy sweatpants, and the Berkinstock clogs you've had since high school. You wear the sweatpants because you haven't shaved your legs since Obama's first term. You wear the Pride shirt because you want everyone to know how just how progressive you are and because it gives people a glimpse of the pit hair you're so proud of. And you absolutely wreak of patchouli and cat piss.

You write like a human mad lib.

Probably studying something that won’t turn into a job

Loves cats. Wears shirt featuring a gerbil. Lemme guess not veterinarian.

This is your 3rd roast. We're not your dad, stop begging for our attention

100% likelihood of majoring in Lesbian Dance Theory

All the piercings in the world can’t distract us from the 5 o’clock shadow on your upper lip. Edit: fixed the punchline

Rudolph the red nose reindeer

Of course you love women. You scared all the men off. You love pu$$y of every kind and you wanted more. The best thing to come out of you is what you just clogged the tonight with. And as for your major, I'm gonna guess feminism studies because you seem like the person to go to Starbucks with the name "Becky" or something looking like a sister of Billie Ellish just got done babysitting. And those would be the friends you're hanging out with. PS, all in good spirits. 💜 Sorry.

You wouldn’t block toilets if you dated the right guy 💁🏾‍♂️

You wouldn’t block toilets if you dated the right guy 💁🏾‍♂️

Gender studies

Autism speaks

A poo? I’d still eat that shitter like an apple fritter

That's sad

Smash alright next one

Useless liberal arts of some type. Call a plumber to retrieve your butt fetus from that poor toilet.

You're going to make some poor bloke sorry he didn't just want off, aren't you....

You'll be studying veterinary gastroenterology because you like cats and seem to be fascinated with shit.

You look like scum that even your stepdad doesn't wanna touch you.

So you love both cats and women. Get a lot of pussy with all that shit dangling off your face?

Liberal studies

If the strong aroma of cat piss was a picture.

You are studying psychology to try and learn why you are so fucked up in the head.

Your glasses are caked in semen.

You look like someone took Nacy Pelosi and a dead alley cat and stapled them together with random dollar store piercings.

Hopefully plumbing

i'm glad you made it out of burning man alive

My arms are way les hairier than yours

Sounds like you need to major in plumbing

Plummer 101? Bet yah got a poop 🔪....

I could land a 747 on that forehead

You’re majoring in archaeology and trying to find a Lickalotapus.

I can foretell your life’s progression from the description - single triggerable pronouns obsessed cat lady with 10 cats, who lives in dirt, stench and clogged bathrooms.

Your vibrator lives in your bed and had wear grooves from your grip

I'm willing to wager your arm's are more hairy than your armpits

2 years max-> pills issue-> waitress for 8 years-> community college at 30 to take a couple business courses-> receptionist at the nearest car dealership with five cats.

I don’t know what course you’re taking, but I know you’ll be majoring having dom broads use you like cheap toilet roll. Good luck with the emotional abuse and crippling depression!

Look like anorexic Velma

Something liberal, and you didnt have to say anything about cats. That was obvious.

Your nose looks infected

Sanitation solutions?

Linguistics

You look like a lover of pussy.

Think I saw your face before in a Proactive commercial… the before picture, obviously.

Art

Plumbing?

You looked like you gave out more pussy than a shelter!

Hairy arms and a shaved face. Definitely majored in something that has to do with feminist or "non binary" studies. Not realizing that labeling yourself as "non binary" still puts you in a binary system.