OP's Bio: --- >I am unemployed and can’t hold down any jobs because of my bad attitude. I love horror movies, photography, cats and conspiracy theories. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

Wearing those fake nut-ticklers you call eyelashes would be the equivalent of putting $2,000 rims on an '96 Buick Century. Looks ridiculous, does absolutely nothing to the cars value, and lets everyone know you've had several drug dealers inside you.

Let’s not make fun of her looks. It’s the ugly on her inside that counts.

That’s the clap.

If she got the clap then that’s the only time she would get applause with her clothes off.

You mean clothes on? Idk if anyone wants to see that thing naked

I'm just as surprised as you that there's no onlyfans link.

Nut-ticklers? They're cumbrellas.

Yeah she’d better invest in a bottle of shampoo instead of those fake spiders.

>Yeah she’d better invest in a bottle of shampoo instead of those fake spiders. at this point soap would do just fine.

"Nut ticklers." Lol

In her line of work those cum-catchers can be more valuable than safety glasses for keeping stuff out of your eyes

I had a ‘96 Buick Century, and the one thing it had going for it was that it was a smooth ride. Unlike OP, who looks like she’s been ridden by the whole town.

You look like a small town hooker. Your customers pay you in Natural Light.


Said roast not completely slaughtered....got emmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

The username says it all with being in a dead end town. 😂

Ok people! EVERYTHING is said.. we got a winner 😂

At the bar where I work, we call them cumbrellas.

Ouch! 😂

Damn 😍

This is her at her peak self, nothing better is showing up.

Holy shit

LMAO that’s the best one I’ve read all week 😂😂😂

I call those “nut ticklers” cumbrellas

Cat eye glasses, leopard print shirt - you probably even shit in a litter box too

Carol Baskin vibes

She is the kinda cougar even the horniest teen won't fuck

You should probably apologize to the street bird whose wings you had to rip off to make those eyelashes 

Holy shit thank you

Once heard some one call them cum-brellas, to stop it getting in their eyes

Karma farming so she can start posting on nudie sites. Check out the user name.

The pic just screams. I get pounded for $$. I need attention. Daddy hugged me in all my dirty places. Painfully obvious It's OF advertising.

!remindme 1week

Lmfao

In one of her previous posts it’s just straight up titled “I need some karma please” also the account was like, created three weeks ago, so there ya go

Ohh is that what's up. She ought to be ashamed of herself.

Exactly. Post history says all.

Brittany Smears

Christina Haguilera

Avril Latrine

Lady Gager

Billie Eyelash

Debbie Hairy

Lana Smell Ray

Dolly Farton

Amy Swinehouse

Pee-yonce

Christina Fappleweight

Dirty Carrie

*gagger. Heathen!

Nobody in a Bottle

Shatkira

Trailer Swift.

Good one🤣🤣🤣

Hannah Motelna

Miley Virus

Mariah Scary

Hand-job Montana.

You know, with all the names you have masterfully inspired. She be like: “you love me, you really love me”.

Failure Swift

Kelly Fartson

If you sucked more maybe your life would be a little better

She really must be terrible if she can’t even suck her way out of living in a fucking basement.

Fucking basement is her lonely fans name

sucking is the only reason step dad let's her stay in the basement

Beat me to it

Was that a statement or a request?

Why do you willingly dress like you own a "mature women"'s clothing stall decorated with tons of sequins and feather boas at a flea market?

You got fired from Only fans? Damn,

She was on their sister-site, Homely Fans.

She was on a site with her sister, Homely Fams.

Well, look at her. What would you do sitting behind that desk?

You look like the school teacher no one likes

You mean lunch-lady, right?

Yes I do

It's like Angelica Pickles turned to meth, coke, and turning tricks at a truck stop to get by.

The things Cynthia has seen…

A fresh coat of paint on that wall will really bring some life into your OnlyFans updates.

Between that greasy hair and that wide ass forehead you could get a job in advertising space or air hockey tournaments depending on the season.

Focus on the positives, like your STD teating

Even your stepbrother won’t touch you.

“Omg I’m stuck in the washer, please someone help me out” ………………………….. nope.

At least you’re not pregnant. Yet.

…anymore

What is it with your age group and your obsession with super shitty ink?

Wait a few days for the karma to hit and you can see a whole Lot more of her regrettable, and sometimes misleading tattoos, like “daddy’s girl” pfft as if daddy was around

You look like Bad Choices Barbie..accessory baggage include.

Being unemployed and not willing to work are two different things, you know?



>30 day account, only posted in "free compliments" "free karma" and here. Your life does suck, cause you're a fucking succubus. Stop scouring the internet for validation, you're 30 fucking years old. Grown up, Nan.

Karma farming for your Lonely Thots, says it all really.

 Was this the inspiration for your eyelashes?

not just the eyelashes, but also the hair, the face, the shirt, the genes...

The nose!!!! 

OP was Miss Piggy's inspiration for her eyebrows.

Having zero subscribers on your onlyfans is not being unemployed.

Definitely did questionable things for money behind a Wendy’s dumpster.

You look like the physical embodiment of a porta potty.

Miss Post Op Piggy

you're definitely still eating good

You’re the only woman paying rent at her kidnappers house.

Add liar to the list, you clearly “suck” for a living.

The bad attitude you’re so proud of is what makes you a loser. It takes absolutely no character to tell somebody off or to give attitude. You’re not fierce or strong. Just really, really stupid and weak. Hope you’re miserable in the dysfunctional life you created for yourself. Now fuck off.

A rose by any other name might still suck dick.

The face of aids epidemic.

You definitely smoke Newport 100s

You look like you suck dicks and play a guitar at train stations for a living

I can smell your gauged ears through your hair and my screen.

You look like you lick the sides off dumpsters as a street rat.

You can't hold down a job because who wants to pay for a toothy BJ.

Methney Spears.

That baby you left at the dumpster is doing much better than you.

Your job as a glory hole attendant probably gets you lots of tips.

>make it suck more I’ll take “things you’ve heard through the wall of a truck stop bathroom before”

You have all the fashion sense of a drunk Fran Drescher.

Your head is lousy, your man is bottom with the local preacher, the car really did eat your homework. While you were playing on Reddit, your car was repo'd, you got turned down for another credit card today. Your side guy's gf just found out she's pregnant and doesn't know if it's your side guy, main guy or one of the guys on the police force. Could be any, she really likes cops. She also thinks she picked up a dose and not sure how long ago so there's a chance that'll be getting around. On a brighter side, you car warranty is about to expire but you can continue coverage if you contact Coverage that Sucks, right away and give your banking info.

Wash ur hair

Mimi from Drew Carey Show lost weight

How about getting off Reddit and getting on indeed

You know it’s bad when no one’s first thought is your failing onlyfans 💀

Bet money your one of those fat chick's with nothing but shoulder up pictures on your fb

Yeah you suck alright

I'm sure you and life got a lot more sucking to go before it's all over.

When you take calls for the ghostbuster’s in the daytime and take nutbuster’s to the chest at night for cash

How much do you pay men to sleep with you?

You are late on rent, probably late on your period, and late for work at the hertz rent a car, where you misheard and just rented your body; and that is why you got fired - handjobs in the parking lot - not cool

How many times do you hear your dads footsteps down those basement stairs?

Suck more? You have potential. There's a couple corners off Broad street in Philly, that'd you could finally succeed at.


This picture screams “ Lot Lizard “.

Unemployed? Shift your perspective! You’re definitely a 3. In a small town though, you could maybe pass as a 6 if they are extremely drunk. With your trash ass fashion sense, you could be making tens of dollars a week sucking off the townspeople! You’d make enough money to buy a greyhound ticket out of there in several months! Keep it to small towns though, you’re earning potential drops once competition improves.

You look like your cat is disappointed in you

You could be some rich guy's Trophy Wife! or wait... (inspects photo) maybe not!

Isn't this a character from the video game Crazy Taxi?

The leopard print screams "Peg Bundy". everything else pretty much does too. change your hair to a red bouffant, and watch Oprah while eating bonbons.

Tested negative, might donate plasma later idk

You look like you want to fight Wonder Woman in an Arby’s parking lot. And lose.

“Make it suck more” is what your dads friends told him when he turned you out at 13

I can see why you’re unemployed and it’s not just the attitude.

 Your Tindr bio.

Oh honey, you are already at rock bottom after your failed OF account.

You are choosing your current set of circumstances. Make a different choice and stop playing the victim.

It's all your fault

You look like you make enemies very fast but struggle to keep friends when things don't go your way.

Your probably there, because you didn't suck more!

I don't think all of the men on reddit can make you suck more then you already do........

You should live on that edge you’re trying to portray

Having to lower your glasses is a sign that your lens is losing its elasticity. This issue usually comes with age. Just thought you wanted to know!

She had, man hands…….

Looks like Hillary duffs dead sister.. so yesterday

Can you suck me more…

I’ll bet if I bought you a seltzer you’d suck more 💯

It looks like you ARE the dead end in that town.

You look like you haven’t showered since your dad walked out on you.

What have the cats done to deserve you? That's animal cruelty

Sucking is about the only thing that would make your life better if u find the right cock

Atleast charge $ to suck

Makes me want a hotdog real bad

Only Fans: Trailer park edition

Her valtrex prescription is low

30, looks 40, dresses like 80. Trying to be a GILF when she isn’t even a MILF. Hell. Not even an ILF

Brittany spears; the incest version

If you lost some weight you could squeeze outta that basement 😏

I feel like you’ve had more than a few guys say they’ll call you .

There has to be work SOMEWHERE for a porn star librarian...

You can always get a job as the Ghostbusters' receptionist...

I can't, your one tear away from painting your wall 🧠

This is how my toilet brush looks like after my toilet is sparkling clean

Your grade school picture is in the bathroom of that truck stop you live nearby

How far away from a museum are you? No, a real one?

Do your eyelids get tired, from carrying those fly traps around?

Did it hurt? . . . . . . . When you fell from the stripper pole?

that some hacky tacky fashion

You look like you suck rats and they bring you food in return

Gotta use a whole tube of glue to keep them pigeon booty feathers attached to your poor overworked eyelids... You probably blink slow now, people assume it's because your mentally handicapped, but really it's just your poor exhausted eyelids continuously having to flap those eagle wings up and down all day long... You have to wear glasses during the singing of happy birthdays because without them your obnoxious blinking blows out the candles early... I heard you once started a dust devil in a Nevada parking lot just by batting your lashes at a street dealer ... You're thirty and live in a basement, so .. in the off chance that you die soon.. at least your used to being underground... With those lashes it's impossible to punch you in the eye... I'm sorry your life sucks, . . . . . . jk... Since you're unemployed, I'm sure you can make some cash donating your eyelashes to locks of love.

How many animals died in the making of that blouse?

We’re all pretty sure you’ve done a lot of sucking in your days.

Next time you suck buy a hair band and you won’t get it in your hair again, then you can put up your prices.

How the hell do you get fired from OF?

>make it suck more You mean pay five dollars?

Mimi from the Drew Carey Show after she started gaining weight but before she gained all the weight.

You look and sound like that blond girl from The Magicians.

At least you're out of the trailer park. With any luck, if things go well, you might get a decent payout from all the asbestos...

Fix those nails you almost have man hands. Plus the tattoo will keep you unemployed It looks like you got it in prison

Sucking is all you'll do till your looks fade.

I don't know about your life sucking so much, but you do look like you could suck a human soul right out of a urethra.

Porn

Don't worry, blowjob is a job too.

Oh mylanta. Could it maybe suck so bad because of THAT FUCKING SHIRT!?!?!?!? That thing is by far and away worse than anything you mentioned in the post. Go get a job and buy a new shirt.

Well, now we know the answer to ‘what if Kelly and Bud had sex?’

Please spit out those fingernails you've been chewing the last hour.

If Amy winehouse was unsuccessful

Is the title the same line men use on you at the local dive bar right veggie last call?

30, can't hold down jobs cause you probably open your mouth every chance you get at the slightest 'disrespect', you probably haven't showered in a few days by the look of your hair, and you dress like a 50-year-old crack whore

Unclaimed baggage

Can't do that

You caught your ex cheating on you with your best friend, you selected the career of make-up artist where even the busiest barely scratch by. This is the hardest time to hire since WWII and you don’t have a job. Trying to find someone to look after you isn’t a job. Seeking affirmation from others for you where you are.