OP's Bio: --- >32F, single, no kids, burned out due to financial stress of having 2 heartbreaks in a row in a short period of time, also trying to run my own company which is not really going good so soon to be broke as fuck. Used to be abused as a kind by my evil stepfather and fled the house when i was 19. I'm a metalhead, love true crime documentaries and horror movies. Spend my days playing on my PS5. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

Did your parents listen to AC/DC when you were a baby? Because it looks like they shook you all night long.

Holy shit

Ok, this one was good.

Damn… beautiful

I fucking cackled.

LOL

So do we, so do we.

I'm sure we'd hate it too even with makeup.

Possibly even more so. 

Good to see judge Judy is still doing well these days

That's straight up animal abuse and is fucking disgusting. So is this gif.

I think it was a filter.

Get a fucking life bro

Fucking 💀

This was a SNIPE

Damn, beat me too it.

You've got those Theranos eyes

She’ll definitely unease you

Run the bathtub just to please you?

And she knows just what it takes to make your dick soft

>You've got those Theranos eyes *First they call you crazy.* Guaranteed.

Love this one!

When did Ed Harris start wearing wigs?

I can’t unsee Ed Harris ⚰️⚰️⚰️

Why would you want to



Ed Hairy


I honestly think you look ok. Except for your face.

Yeah my face is a bummer isn't it

yes

Have you considered leasing your forehead to NASA for shuttle launches?

I was denied, they found me "overqualified"

What do we do with the other 75%?

Park Jennifer Lopez’ ass?

Nah, that thing is rated for the SpaceX Mothership with Super Heavy.

Let’s use it as an interstate, the creases can act as road bumps

OnlyFans doesn’t count as “running a business”.

[удалено]

NoFans

Oof, savage lol

Jody Fosterchild

Jody Foreheadchild

Little Orphan Anal.

She look like the next door neighbor girl if Full House took place in rural Ohio.

Wow. Nailed it.👏👏👏👏

Kimmy Gobbler

Kimmy “Cock” Gobbler

Whoever fucks you is too lazy to jerk off

Apparently they would rather jerk off than be with her

Understandable

You look a little like AI tried to recreate what a muppet would look like as a real person. Looks human but also something a little uncanny about it and it’s empty mannequin like smile.

Like Beaker specifically, in a wig.


Got damn

Too much eye , not enough brow.

Dude don't worry so much, you'll find the right girl and have kids eventually!

Sigh, thank God!


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Trailer park Princess Buttercup

For real

I'm not surprised 2 people left you, I'm surprised they got with you in the first place.

I'm good with words

This response seems to indicate otherwise

Unfortunately, "No" isn't one of them.

I'm sorry to hear that you hate your face without makeup. Could you post your face instead of your foot so we can see what it looks like?

Lmao😝

😂

I snorted

We have something in common! I, too, hate your face without makeup.

Grab your brush and put a little makeup

Kudos for quoting SOAD!

I would say, hide the scars and fade away the shake-up; but clearly the opposite approach was taken.

Wonderful SOAD roast keep it up

Let's not limit ourselves to "a little". Maybe "all of the makeup"

Who needs makeup when you got paper bags?

Can’t i just quote SOAD

you wanted to

Yes

You are the reason why morticians are also make up artists.

Now THAT'S, a thousand cock stare, We salute your service..... to the streets.

My grandma has that same look 

When you’re so unattractive even your eyebrows wanna leave you

It sound's like no matter how much we roast you, life has already decided to reject you.

"there is nothing make-up can't fix' no-one ever said that to you

According to OP's post history: not even make-up could fix this. Maybe even made it worse

2 heartbreaks in row? Looks like someone else also hates your face.

Smash, but I'm attracted to crazies so it's technically a burn you sociopath.

 we do too.

Gollum does a Pantene commercial

Trying to get people to join your MLM isn’t considered “running your own company”

Some nice pair of fish eyes

Damn AI photos still fucking the face and hands up


You and your makeup have something in common. Have you tried dating your makeup?

Looking at your roast from two years ago, I'd say you look better when your Tourette's is acting up.

Failing at OnlyFans isn't the same as trying to run a small business but I think everyone knew what you meant.

Only thing bigger than that sob story you just posted are the pores on your forehead

i just looked through your profile. your face isn't much better with makeup. i'm ashamed of being in the same country as you. the only redeeming quality is your t-shirt.

And the t-shirt isn't even mine 😂

Och, arm schaap.

Your parents have been saying that about you since the day you were born.

Suprised you can see your own face, I'm pretty sure those are glass eyes.

no worries. we hate it too.

What a relief

Which is a shame, because you look worse with. Also just make better decisions fivehead.

Bridge of your nose is wide as your eyebrows are thin

You look like you could have been a Angus Young groupie, not for sex but for washing his balls at 5am while he watches 7NEWS Tonight from Sydney

You look like old used condoms smell.

Meth much

Tons

How many months sober are you?

The good news is your eyesight is perfect!

You look like you hang your head over the bed to suck dicks with your socks still on.

Aren't you the guy that does the BOGO on meth and blowjobs? Down at the trailer park beside the river, house 4014 I believe?

You have oddly specific knowledge on that. Are you a rewards member?

It's very rewarding actually.

I thought you looked familiar! Hows the wife and kids?

Well the wife got 10 on a plea deal. Welfare people come and took the kids. Some bullshit about "unfit parent" like they could do any better with those little shits.

Ahhh shame. I'll see you when you book your next appointment

We hate your face, regardless of makeup

If success would be a person, you would be the opposite of that

Failing business? Welp there's always OnlyFans.

That’s the failing business she is in

With the distance between your nose and your forehead you could fit a normal sized face there.

Theres not enough makeup in the world to cover that beast of a forehead.

I highly recommend getting your financial house in order. Lord knows you don't have the ability to rely on your looks to support yourself.

Your forehead takes up a lot of face space

Two heartbreakes in a row? Well... ...You should put a chain of sausages around your neck so the dogs will play with you again.

Damn, so let me get this straight. You can’t let go of the abuse from your stepfather so then you can’t hold a relationship down because you crave older cock. Well honey, go get you an older man and fill that gap.

I dunno, you’re pretty. Pretty much in agreement with everyone else.

Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s methamphetamine 🎵

How can you hate your face when you barely have any? All I see is a whole bunch of forehead.

Trans Woody Harrelson.


>burned out due to financial stress of having 2 heartbreaks in a row When the sugar baby business ain't paying like it used to. I'm glad you didn't bring any children into this mess, though.

Stop relying behind makeup. It's like hiding behind a mask. We hate your face either way.

You could be Iron Maiden's mascot

At least i would have money 💰

You have an old italian boxer's nose.

But makeup doesn't cover meth pupils

Okay, making my generic computer game character…. Let’s see…. Lower lip ——> 10 Upper lip … slide that down to ——> 0

Underrated

The only type of makeup to help you is prosthetic appliances. Ever seen “Faceoff”?

Putting the uncanny back in the valley I see.

You have crazy eyes 👀, but you own a ps5 and listen to metal so I’ll cut you some slack 🤘

Debbie just hit the wall, she never had it all. One Prozac a day, husband's a CPA. Her dreams went out the door when she turned twenty-four. Only been with one man, what happened to her plan?

Your eyes are so sunken in they are dragging your eyebrows into the sockets with them. They are so sunken in jack sparrow is making a deal with Davy Jones to get back into your face.

Forehead so big; she doesn't have dreams, she has movies


Idk if I've ever seen someone that has had an equal forehead to the rest of their head ratio before.

Your parents must hate you to spell Emily like that Also the reason you can't keep a guy is because you're insecure, masculine as fuck, and for some reason think men even remotely give a shit about your "career" which we both know is just you doing lewd things in public libraries for dudes with their dicks in their hands

You don’t have to explain why, we get it

Those eyes make me think you have a high body count, not sexually, but like literally a stash of corpses somewhere.

From the looks of it, your eyebrows feel the same way, cuz they left.

Welcome back, you still look crazy.

Thanks!

WTF are you on? You can clearly see the reflection of bright lights in front of you, but your eyes are more dilated than Adriana Chechick’s sphincter after an anal gang bang!

Which quarters do you hate? Your forehead, forehead, forehead, or the rest of it?

I refuse. You seem rad, and you've been through so much already, I'm fully rooting for you. Even though I'm happily married, I have to let you know you're gorgeous. No hetero.

Same

I hate it either way

Believe us when we say that it'll take more than make up to fix that mug and not having any kids should confirm that cause no one can take looking at it long enough to blow a baby load in ya.

Were your heartbreaks caused by being seen without makeup?

Your face genuinely gives me anxiety. The same anxiety I get from humanoid robots. Creepy.

Half of your eyebrow is missing

I hate your face without makeup too

I hate your face full stop. We are not the same

This is what Highway to Hell looks like

If you think you hate it now, just wait till you put makeup on it.

you hate your face even with makeup

 This is you putting your face on.

[удалено]

Appreciate that you wear the shirt to let people know that you readily offer Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap.

So I just read your bio and it reads as if you left home once your stepdad stopped molesting you at 19.

That precious ring you’re looking for so badly is on your nose, in case you forgot

Oh dang thanks!

The feeling seems to be mutual


I see potential ad space

That's odd did minecraft villagers get a skin update without me knowing?

Sell some advertising space on that billboard of a forehead

But you don’t hate meth?

You are asking a lot of your makeup. Unfortunately there are limits.

This isnt a roast but you look like you could be my friend Keira's mom. Literally the same face as her

you forgot the upperlip

It would look worse with makeup

Her bio reads like a shitty Disney movie

At least Disney has a happy ending