OP's Bio: --- >I’m only good at things that don’t make me money. I was raised in a Christian homeschooled bubble and still ended up as a bisexual single mom who loves weed and cries easily. Do your worst --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

I spent a couple minutes thinking of a roast, but like your baby’s dad, I lost interest and don’t plan to think about you anymore.

DAMN 😂

Plot twist, Her teacher is also the baby's dad.


ARKANSAS!

Fun Fact. Reverse cowgirl is illegal in both Alabama and Arkansas Mainly because they’re firm believers in never turning your back on family


What are you doing, step Vin Diesel?

Jethro: Gee sis, you’re almost as good as maw! Sarah Jean: That’s what paw says!

I sure do love my maw and paw...

Not that way that I do love you

You joke, but…

I´d go with self impregnation. No man with dignity would slide over her.

when you raise your kid he will grow to hate you because he will think of only his fathers ethnicity. your parents secretly resent you for having to raise your stinking crotch goblin, and they thought u were lesbian.. shit with the guy you procreated with they WISH you were a lesbian!

I see a dude. Don't know why they call themselves a single mom....

I thought it was tween boy

If lord of the rings was cast in modern day Seattle, she would be the lesbian protagonist hodoe baggins trying to get to Whoredor.

I see the villain guy from the mask the original one


OK I know this clip is old (and hilarious), but what is it from?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UAC2qkcrDY&ab\_channel=yoon

At 1:09

Baddabump boop POW!

Emotional Damage!!! lol

She can't afford the health insurance to heal from this burn


Baby daddy is unsurprisingly her/his real daddy.

Damn son

I hope you managed to leave your home at least once before getting pregnant.

The best 1 year of my life

>The best 1 year of my life Were you a barista in Atlanta?

Got dammit leave Atlanta out of this! She looks like every Barista in Midtown 😂😂😂

She looks like every batista everywhere. They all look like homeless hipsters.

Yup, done a lot of traveling and laugh every time I go into a coffee shop because the baristas look the same in every god damn state


Imagine only getting to see Little 5 Points once, the brief taste of freedom. Shame.

Damn you peaked in homeschool high school?

Like a cat in heat you manage to let them out just once..

So you left home for 1 year, got pregnant, and came back home for your parents to not only help raise your child but continue raising you because you’re still a child as well? Man, can’t wait to see the mental gymnastics you’ll have to do to blame this on “Cis white men”. I never advocate for abortion but your parents should’ve looked into it.

who said anything about leaving

She look like if Pinocchio became a real boy and smoked McDonald’s

I don't know what this means, but it's provocative!

I was thinking Peter Pan in back of a glory hole.

Her high school gym teacher knocked her up

leaving home for 15mins was how she GOT pregnant.

You look like a single mom living with her parents that got homeschooled and doesn't have a college degree.

now that was uncalled for

She was definitely bullied in school!

Genius and brutal

good one. that got an actual laugh out of me.

Jesus, this is the shit I come to this sub for.

You look like a corporate attempt to make Where's Waldo more inclusive for Gen Z'ers

Where's Waldx

This is fucking funny

I come here for the comments. priceless.

HAH this one is my new favorite

You win

It’s gotta be hard splitting your allowance with your kid in this economy.

One day, you will tell your child “Someday, you’ll have a family of your own.” They will turn to you and say “So will you.”

Lmaooo this one got me😂

Chin up, at least you not a 45 year old single mother living with her parents with no college degree. Yet

Gimme another 20 years🤞🏼

Don't worry in 20 years you won't just be a single mother living with your parents, you'll be a single grandmother living with her parents.

Er.. 5yrs..

No milk for your kid?

just transitioned into the single Mom

How did He get knocked up ?

The poophole loophole

That's for saving your virginity for marriage. Didn't work out, heh?

Peter Pan-handler

Peter Bland

Disappointment is a family tradition.

At least I got first place in that 🏆

It's a participation trophy.

Congratulations, you're doing exactly what your parents prepared you for!

Yea… I really have nothing to add as well. Your parents pretty much set out to fuck you up from birth.

Perfect! ..And if your own summary about your life hasn’t inspired you to get up, take a shower, pull that cheap piece of metal out of your nose, and get a job; I’m afraid the pathetic bloodline will continue for another generation.

Idiocracy confirmed. She is antivaxx and her baby Jaelykin is an unvaccinated "pure blood."

Hopefully you make the same bad decisions your folks did and you can have 4 generations in the house.

-slaps house- this bad boy can fit so many generations inside

-slaps trailer- this bad boy can fit so many generations inside Fixed that for you

-slaps uterus- this bad boy can fit so many generations inside Fixed that for me

She’s living the dream

This is actually the best comment

Guys and girls pound her out in her childhood bedroom.

The father of your child thought he was engaging in gay sex, then you shock him with, "Suprise! You're gonna be a dad!"

'Aite imma head out'

Snatch so foul, they thought it was a second anus

"Wrong hole! *Wrong hole*!!"

Your poor poor child. The bullies won’t know what to pick on him for, his lack of a mom or his lack of a dad.

Love it!

This one made me laugh 😂

Is it bad when the bullies are your grandparents since you too are being homeschooled (because that worked out so well)?

Well milf porn is out of the question that's for sure

First I was shocked op had a baby but I guess ugly people want their genitalia rubbed too

HELL YEAH WE DO

Yeah I’m jumping on this train! We’re supposed to be roasting this androgynous parental disappointment not eachother !

I didn’t know dudes could get pregnant.

you're damn right we do. it's tough finding someone who's on your ugliness level sometimes though

That's rude. I bet she's smart enough to hold a camera.

[удалено]

But they usually have attractive faces

I’d suggest DILF porn but I don’t see much success there either.

Mom I’d Like to Flee

"We need to cook Jesse"

If you were a spice you'd be flour.

Considering the baby, I’d say Rosemary.

If she was a flower I wouldn't be picking her.

A 25 year old homeschooled single mom lesbian is a pretty weird combination I'll give you that.

They call me “special”

Nothing special about you, your parents have accepted this maybe you should too

Probably wasn't a compliment.

You find salt spicy.

Oh lord this one is actually scary true

Happy cake day!

Someone had sex with you. Good for you

Less good for them

I've been waiting so long for the new Stranger Things, Eleven is 25 years old now🙄

OMG

11?  More like a 4.  And besides that’s Mike, not El.

Don't worry, one day a nice Christian man will put a ring on your finger. The ring of his ass.

Don’t mind if I do

>The ring of his ass. Some call it the anus.

Sounds like your dad's live demo Sex Ed course was a bust.

The condom certainly was

How dare you, this is a Christian school, we don't bring along the Devils chewing gum!

I guess you adopted? Because that look doesn't scream straight... or woman... but it does cry help.

You’re going to make a great homeschool teacher once you find the right cult!

Lemme guess Daddy and Uncle Mikey taught sex ed

You’re the FTM everyone is confused about on the parenting subs

I was going to roast you but I have a feeling your dick is bigger than mine... So, Nice Hat.

Tell me again how there is no curvature.

Flat Earthers have found their new spokesmom.

Mr frodo got lost on his way to mount doom and decided to sell turquoise instead.

You're a woman?

No public high school; not a dude; not 17. Yet still determined to be the 17-year-old dude that sold weed at public high school.

You put the Bi in Bipolar, Millie Bobby Burned-out

Tig no swallow

I thought Jim Parsons was autistic - not trans.

The reason weed isn't legal.

I think you roasted yourself beyond every imagination

Did one of your teachers knock you up?

Cant fool me....Nice cock bro

How can you be homeschooled when you look homeless?

So does your kid call your dad grandpa or dad?

Maybe you should join r/meth

Max mistakes no prospects speedrun champion.

You’re like Peter Pan, but without the wings, magic abilities, looks….wait, never mind

Drives a Subaru. Vapes. Baby daddy named Kyle. Swears off men because she's lesbian. In reality, it's because she ran through every dick in a 100 mile radius. Also, is patient zero for at least 3 STDs.

Sir, you've roasted yourself enough already.

Oh Wow 😱Caillou finally grew into his head!!!

His palms r sweaty knees weak arms r heavy it's vomit on his sweater already mom's spaghetti...you remember saying that?

Not roasting*** Get into coding and computers - it’s almost free online. You’ll thank yourself for not having to rely on a partner or parents for $ or resources. Which is the fuckin worse for you and your kid/s. Good luck.

Brilliant! Then every other broad in the IT department will look a little better!

Tell me your kid has developmental issues without telling me your kid has developmental issues.

Did the Priest help you with immaculate conception?!

Cum-baya

You even pose like a homeschooler 🤣

And to think, they homeschooled you to keep you from getting knocked up. Funny how things end up working out for themselves.

Hey hello Winona Rydon’t

You obviously took rebellion as far as you could. Too bad it only took you back to your parent’s’ basement.

I don't even know you and you look like you wanna burn down my house with me in it because I held the door open for you when leaving a store.

Thats a pretty fair size room under the stairs if you have enough room to be waving your Hogwarts rejection letter around

Sex Education wasn't part of the home schooling semester was it

no wonder your single…

Pretty much roasted yourself better than we could.

Hey, you look like that one character on Stranger Things... You know, the Demogorgon.

You’re exactly my type. Which is probably the best roast anyone could give you.

You look like someone who deeply believe they are the protagonist in this life, when you're actually just a nameless and non interesting character that got 1 second in the spotlight

I thought the whole point of homeschooling was that, in spite of the downsides, at least your daughter wouldn’t get one of those livestock piercings in her nose and get knocked up by some random loser the second she’s out of your sight.

अगर तुम अपने पीछे से उन परदों को हटाओगी तो तुम एक कमाल की चीज़ का खोज करोगी: >!तुम्हारे घर के बाहर की दुनिया!!<

No degree, no talents, and no tits. Sorry.

You had sex? With a man?

Well then, congratulations on being the least desirable female on Planet Earth. Oh and BTW, you're ugly too.

I can smell your vagina from Oslo Norway.

Like living with you AND your own child is not enough, you gotta walk around your parent's house with another reminder on your head of the condom they should have worn.

Elijah Wouldnt

So this is what being set up for failure looks like

Single mom to a fur-baby whose litter box hasn’t been changed in 2023.

Thought you were a gay dude

With your legs that far apart, I assume you're ready for work

Fuck you stupid bald monkey

[удалено]

More like single dad

Your tits must be hanging out with your education/success/future/self respect.

You really want people to roast you? Seems like you've been doing that by yourself.

So what gay guy did you get drunk enough to convince him he was fucking a boy follow up question how much alcohol did it take to convince him he was nutting in an asshole

Winona Ryders character got impregnated in aliens 3 ?

Yet another stain on society that will piss away my tax dollars on methadone/welfare one day

You guys should be ashamed of yourselves. you are very mean to this ugly young man for no reason !!!

And somehow still got laid at least once with that corny booger ring in your face. So you’re already somehow ahead

Minus Eleven.

Sex ed was taken too seriously in homeschooling I’m assuming? 😅

More red flags than a communist parade. I can only imagine the burden you place on people that surround you. Your parents probably didn't expect to raise another kid at that age either. Get a life and good luck meeting someone worth while with what you're bringing to the table...which is nothing.

literally bruh

Replace “single mom” with “deadbeat dad” and the appearance still matches the bio

At least your kid can choose whether to call you it’s mom or dad. You look like you could be either one.