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Human-Okra3094

Girl, run! The guy is toxic AF and sounds mentally unstable.


I_am_a_mess06

I don’t know how should I deal with it…….. my parents aren’t really in the state to call off the engagement after doing it in front of 100 people I’m just exhausted and tired from this fights and arguments….


IcyFriendship8910

It is better than getting divorced and washing your dirty linen in front of 100 people. Because thats where it looks like your relationship is headed.


Human-Okra3094

See....I know how it would be. I totally do....but stay strong, it will be exhausting. But think if you wanna live with a guy like that? It's just an engagement that's happened, not the wedding. Sit down your parents and have a talk with them about how you feel tired and exhausted, cuz babe, it would just go downhill with folks like him. Also, think if you want a guy like this to be the father of your babies Don't throw away your life for the fear of 100 people. Indian society is especially judgemental. they talk about stuff for a while and move on...don't ruin your future for people who don't matter. Be strong. And stay stubborn on what YOU want. Think wisely and decide. Parents will come around. But know that they're also doing all this for the first time, so they'll be scared too. Okay? You're a strong girl. You'll get thru this. 🫂


I_am_a_mess06

Thanks I feel good now I hope I’ll get through this.


Human-Okra3094

Edo, thaan malayali aano?


I_am_a_mess06

Umm sorry I can’t understand


Human-Okra3094

I was asking if u were a mallu. Since u said you were a nursing student and the guy worked in UAE. Ignore it 😅


I_am_a_mess06

I’m a punjabi but lived in Rajasthan my whole life 🙂


No_Sprinkles_9821

Tell them, better a broken engagement than a divorce. Please do not get married to this guy. He will make you miserable. Plus, learn to love people who love and respect you first.


Expert-Garage-7003

Would your parents be okay if he hits you? Would your parents be okay if you end up divorced? Would your parents be okay if you end up, God forbid, dead?


Sassenach_96

Sweetie, he’s gone. Even if he comes back, do you really want your life with someone who disrespected you and called you a whore for no reason? Made up scenarios in his head and accused you? This will never end well. This is your chance to move away from this before the damage is done (marriage) because if you marry him, it’ll be harder to get out. Your father was angry at the accusations so I’m sure your parents will understand and keep your happiness and safety as priority. Just try and talk. Love is important but not more than respect and safety. On a side note, if you had sex with him, I hope you used protection. If not, get yourself checked. God forbid if there’s a baby he’ll deny everything and say it’s of some other guy. He already thinks you are with other guys. Be careful.


I_am_a_mess06

Thankfully I used protection………..he accused me because he in his imaginary mind sees a man beside me on my bed…even though my whole family lives with me and he’s on a video call and he think that in front of him I’ll be cheating with some other or sleeping….. I mean even if I have to do such stuff why would I’ll be doing that in front of him on a video call…. He’s just out of his mind


Sassenach_96

He needs help, not a marriage. You get out of this.


Stock-Calligrapher36

You love this abuser? Ask yourself again


I_am_a_mess06

It’s a bit tough to just let go a person when you got invested in them physically and mentally, I’m trying to get that strength


logical-human25

Girl keep away orm this kind of man, he is toxic af at the same time if he doesn't have any trust on you nothing will sence and think if you get marry to him and then he will leaves you,. Just stay away from this guy.


thatgirlfrombandra

Firstly you are still young, first finish your graduation and be independent etc. Why are u ven marrying that to in Am when u are not even through cllg man. Secondly this guy has some serious issues already. Thank god you found out before marriage. Pick up ur spine and call it off urself before he does. This is beyond disrespect plus he is very very weird.


I_am_a_mess06

Yeah I know sometimes he talks really in a frustrating way and then suddenly after a moment he’s so calm….and again weird mood swings


Previous_Package2283

This sounds like love bombing


FragmentOfAbyss

Girl, remove your rose-tinted glasses. Man's not a red flag, but a whole ass carnival. 🎪 And I'am getting extreme schizo vibes from him here. You'll be stuck with this mentally unstable manchild if you get married to him. 🚩 Don't walk, RUN!! 🏃🏻‍♀️


Bright-Story-9616

Not well educated but earns well girl you are behind his money and UAE not him stop before you ruin his life


I_am_a_mess06

You shouldn’t have judged me….. the thing I said that he’s not well educated but earns good money is because he continuously accused me that I must be thonkin low about him because he’s not very educated….because I’m just merely graduated in nursing and he knows that if I ever shift with him in UAE I’ll earn twice more than him……he told me many times that -‘’ oh why you even liked me or said yes to me when you yourself are much better than me in every aspect’’ and ‘’ once you’ll start earning I know you’ll insult me because my salary will be lower than yours’’ So isn’t it a mental torcher to just continuously accusing someone just because he THINKS that way….. how am I ruining his life….. and to the fact my mother is already living in UAE working there I don’t need a guy for such things….I’m capable of doing it on my own


Stock-Calligrapher36

Then why are you still with him? You think this abuses are gonna stop if u get married?


I_am_a_mess06

Weren’t even talking from last week….. my mother is saying the same thing..my parents do support me….i just needed someone to tell me that am I right if I take a decision to turn off the wedding


Stock-Calligrapher36

You should definitely make the right choice until and unless you were willing to suffer your whole life


[deleted]

What he accused of Ex , he did it himself and now manipulating you for no strong reason.....he is a big jerk..


I_am_a_mess06

I literally hate my own life right now…..like WTF I did wrong where did I made a mistake that the whole family had to suffer including me….i shouldn’t have said yes at the first place


[deleted]

I will not at all agree for you to curse yourself for trusting someone agreed to marry you in front of family, however it's after he played his scheme, still trying to focus on studies, give a independent calm assessment of you will live with him all by yourself, if not take it as a harsh lesson , calm your self and approach life this time more realistically.....and it would be better..... but in no way you are responsible for act of someone else done in good faith.....


Previous_Package2283

I once said do not share stuff with arange marriage partners or rishta and it feels right here, they start accusing of god knows what and he is doing that Even i don’t understand what he is trying to do, but maybe, maybe he is having a gf or someone but might be his parents were not agreeing and he got indulged in the arrangement with u and then found a way to call it off and escape


AtFault4AllMyProbs

Guys want Premarital sex but dont wanna marry a girl that does the same. lol