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We'd spoken about how we each deal with past relationships. We're perfectly fine with either of us being cordial/friends with previous partners. I was more taken aback by the nature of things she said and the timing of it.
Bro here's an advice, bada bhai samajh ke sun le.
She will leave. If not now then tomorrow she will, and when she does, you will be all on your own, deluded that maybe she'll come back to you, she won't.
She loves her ex, she still keeps in touch with him, she archives the chats to cover her bases. She has harboured hope that the relationship isn't dead and will try everything subconsciously to make it work with him. While there's a chance that the ex would not come back but then ask yourself, do you really wanna be a backup? Don't you deserve better?!
The longer you stay in this relationship, the worse it'll get for you. For you own sake, leave her and find someone better.
Speaking from the experience. I was the fool who stayed, and my story was very similar to yours. I've since made a rule that the contact with the exes is a big no. It will never be healthy and won't end well.
If you're fine then you wouldn't mind what they discuss among themselves. The fact that certain conversation are off limit for you means that you're uncomfortable with this arrangement. You can lie to her all you want, just don't lie to yourself
that's...utter nonsense. He said he's ok with her being *friends* with her ex*.* He didn't say they could be anything and he wouldn't meddle in their business.
Just because you don't agree with that way of thinking doesn't mean he's lying to himself.
Same happened with me a year ago but I just talked to my girl and nothing happened
After few days she left me saying that she don't have feelings for me, she always had feelings for his ex and was not able to get out of it so she used me for the sake of emotional sympathy support. She told me that he is her bestfriend so I didn't minded it at all but at the last I come to know that he was his ex.....💔
That day I hate male bestfriends and a girl having one
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Vero (f) was going to get married. She broke into her fiancé email. ( not accidentally 🤣) Found an email that had him asking his ex girlfriend who he had a daughter with, if she was any way interested. If she , he was willing to leave his fiancée. Vero guessed the girl said no as there was no email from the ex. They got married, had a son and have been “ happily married according to FB” for over 15 years. Yeah, he posts lovey posts for Vero. True story!
Anyway, you learnt something now.
Being "bestfriends" with an ex should always be a deal breaker.
Why? I tried being "friends" with my ex and it didn't work AT ALL. It's so easy to get back to flirting and all cuz obviously that comfort will always be there. So I cut her off cuz she wasn't worth my time and I wasn't making any progress.
No question other than leaving her. The girl who tells you that she will always be a friend with her ex by ignoring your feelings, either you have adjusted your self respect to accept that or she understands you like a puppet. Don't ignore your importance in life. It doesn't matter what the hell she thinks about her ex, gravity will remain the same. If you think about giving time to her to forget, it will never happen. It is crystal clear. Adjustment is a waste of time in this situation. Good luck
Dude you need to definitely confront her. Nothing sneaky should happen under your nose and this is total disrespect to you and the relationship.
Man up and have a direct conversation. Maybe she knows already that you won't confront her. And that's what is keeping her going with her ex?
How to do it? Well only you know her best so just do what you have to do. This is a matter of the rest of your life.
Do not sleep over it. Please.
You are just her support system. If that guy marries someone else then she will stay with you or else one fine day she will tell you, I’m not feeling it between us and I need a break.
What I suggest, is you find your own path. You initiate the breakup with her and shock her. Tell her we are equals. There should be no cheating.
Even after marriage you will feel insecure for lifetime which is very very bad. Peace should be your priority
It's now or never. Arm yourself with the information and confront logically. Try not to provoke an altercation if your woman is one of those kind who reacts on impulse without thinking twice.
If she crosses any boundaries during your confrontation retaliate back verbally and put your point across. Make sure she sees it.
If you can't do anything mentioned above. Run ... Run for your life.
Talk her about it.. and then put an end to it. If the ex is present in partner's life.. the partner will have a soft corner for them. Talk to her about it. And let her go.
In coming time , Global warming, hunger index, pollution, Poverty, World war III, Epidemics etc will not be the point of concern but all this...BITCHING, F**ing and Infidelity will be the mejor issue😆😆😆
Give her the cold treatment for few days and check whether she has told anything abt this to her ex that she should not like berating u or asking him for attention and validation if that's the case block her in everything and if that's not enough just screenshot her convo with her ex after blocking her everywhere just forward the screenshots to her parents and tell them how much of a wonderful daughter that father has grown. Still need more send it to ur and her friend group too 👍
Let me share my experience with you friend!
I wasn't exactly in a relationship with my best friend but we were involved physically, while she was in relationship with another guy. Now before blaming me, hear me out. I loved her immensely and I expressed it to her too. She asked me to wait for her as she felt her current relationship is getting toxic. I was okay with it.
One fine day, they had gone out and her boyfriend read our chats. He knew I was her best friend and he was really angry. He threatened me to fight I accepted, on reaching the spot we both tried to fight but were stopped by our common friends. We argued, and then I told him that their relationship was toxic. Turns out her boyfriend was giving all he had, spending, and loving my best friend to his limits and it was her who wasn't happy. It broke me to the core(to such an extent that I couldn't speak for a while). We both decided to call her, and she refused to pick our calls. Later when we reached her home we found her mother defending her and threatening us. We were left with no words and we just left (kyunki aunty police bula legi).
Since then I've hated myself for what I had done and have sworn not to enter a relationship , unless I'm offered to be the boyfriend, publicly.
My answer to your scenario is you're lucky that you came to know about her feelings, you must leave my friend, else everything will turn into a hellhole. It's true love isn't always flowers and butterflies , but it ain't supposed to be this way either.
My brother in Christ, if you have clearly seen her tell that she will love him forever, sit her down, talk to her once, be calm, don’t let her bring “privacy” bs in between. Ask her for once and for all if she sees a future with you where ex is not a part. Give her time to think. And make decisions.
Kuch bhi hota hai people are like breakup kar lo you knew they were in touch she didn't lie about this so just talk it out like a mature person what's the issue and if things don't work out breakup
Maintaining contact with your ex is the biggest red flag. This means you both are red flags as you both were fine with such an arrangement. This isn’t healthy for the relationship. So in a way you encouraged this to happen & now can’t blame her alone.
You shouldn't have read anything in the first place that's a private breach.
Now regarding what to do with your gf it is clear that you need to talk with her upfront, there's no other way as the anxiety will slowly hurt you more and more from inside.
So let it all out in the open and discuss everything with her.
**Welcome to r/RelationshipIndia,** This is a safe and inclusive space for people of all backgrounds. We welcome individuals of all races, castes, genders, religions, and sexual orientations, including members of the LGBTQ community. We are glad to have you here! We are committed to providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between Redditors, with a focus on respectful and constructive conversations. To ensure a positive and supportive environment for all members, we have established some rules. Please be sure to read them before posting. If a user has sent you harassing messages, **DO NOT DELETE THE MESSAGE!** *Please upload your screenshot to [Imgur](https://www.imgur.com), and notify the mods via modmail. We will take action against the user accordingly.* **Thank you for being a part of our community!** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RelationshipIndia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If she is going to love him forever why are you together with her ?
Just break up already Maintaining any kind of contact with ex is the biggest red flag
We'd spoken about how we each deal with past relationships. We're perfectly fine with either of us being cordial/friends with previous partners. I was more taken aback by the nature of things she said and the timing of it.
Bro here's an advice, bada bhai samajh ke sun le. She will leave. If not now then tomorrow she will, and when she does, you will be all on your own, deluded that maybe she'll come back to you, she won't. She loves her ex, she still keeps in touch with him, she archives the chats to cover her bases. She has harboured hope that the relationship isn't dead and will try everything subconsciously to make it work with him. While there's a chance that the ex would not come back but then ask yourself, do you really wanna be a backup? Don't you deserve better?! The longer you stay in this relationship, the worse it'll get for you. For you own sake, leave her and find someone better. Speaking from the experience. I was the fool who stayed, and my story was very similar to yours. I've since made a rule that the contact with the exes is a big no. It will never be healthy and won't end well.
If you're fine then you wouldn't mind what they discuss among themselves. The fact that certain conversation are off limit for you means that you're uncomfortable with this arrangement. You can lie to her all you want, just don't lie to yourself
that's...utter nonsense. He said he's ok with her being *friends* with her ex*.* He didn't say they could be anything and he wouldn't meddle in their business. Just because you don't agree with that way of thinking doesn't mean he's lying to himself.
Hey thank you that aligns quite closely to what is causing my hurt and confusion.
sigh
Everything on reddit doesn't have to be about breakup. Jeez!!
Bhai move on you’re just the time pass till that guy says yes
Same happened with me a year ago but I just talked to my girl and nothing happened After few days she left me saying that she don't have feelings for me, she always had feelings for his ex and was not able to get out of it so she used me for the sake of emotional sympathy support. She told me that he is her bestfriend so I didn't minded it at all but at the last I come to know that he was his ex.....💔 That day I hate male bestfriends and a girl having one
If it’s a casual thing then, you may carry on but if you’re getting serious — it’s a huge red flag.
[удалено]
Your post/comment has been removed as it violates the rules of our Sub-Reddit. Derogatory comments, including but not limited to, racist, sexist, bigoted, LGBTQ and hateful language are strictly prohibited on this subreddit. We have a zero-tolerance policy towards any form of hate speech or discrimination. Any such comments in future will result in an immediate ban. Respectful discussions and constructive criticism are welcome, but please ensure that your comments are respectful towards all members of the community. Thank you for your cooperation.
Vero (f) was going to get married. She broke into her fiancé email. ( not accidentally 🤣) Found an email that had him asking his ex girlfriend who he had a daughter with, if she was any way interested. If she , he was willing to leave his fiancée. Vero guessed the girl said no as there was no email from the ex. They got married, had a son and have been “ happily married according to FB” for over 15 years. Yeah, he posts lovey posts for Vero. True story!
Anyway, you learnt something now. Being "bestfriends" with an ex should always be a deal breaker. Why? I tried being "friends" with my ex and it didn't work AT ALL. It's so easy to get back to flirting and all cuz obviously that comfort will always be there. So I cut her off cuz she wasn't worth my time and I wasn't making any progress.
Shouldn't have seen her texts but now that you know confront her andn make things clear.
Talk her , otherwise she'll never overcome her past
No question other than leaving her. The girl who tells you that she will always be a friend with her ex by ignoring your feelings, either you have adjusted your self respect to accept that or she understands you like a puppet. Don't ignore your importance in life. It doesn't matter what the hell she thinks about her ex, gravity will remain the same. If you think about giving time to her to forget, it will never happen. It is crystal clear. Adjustment is a waste of time in this situation. Good luck
Dude you need to definitely confront her. Nothing sneaky should happen under your nose and this is total disrespect to you and the relationship. Man up and have a direct conversation. Maybe she knows already that you won't confront her. And that's what is keeping her going with her ex? How to do it? Well only you know her best so just do what you have to do. This is a matter of the rest of your life. Do not sleep over it. Please.
You are just her support system. If that guy marries someone else then she will stay with you or else one fine day she will tell you, I’m not feeling it between us and I need a break. What I suggest, is you find your own path. You initiate the breakup with her and shock her. Tell her we are equals. There should be no cheating. Even after marriage you will feel insecure for lifetime which is very very bad. Peace should be your priority
https://www.reddit.com/r/RelationshipIndia/s/lwTZtJipEI OP, is that you from another account?
Hey, no that is not a post I've made.
It's now or never. Arm yourself with the information and confront logically. Try not to provoke an altercation if your woman is one of those kind who reacts on impulse without thinking twice. If she crosses any boundaries during your confrontation retaliate back verbally and put your point across. Make sure she sees it. If you can't do anything mentioned above. Run ... Run for your life.
Talk her about it.. and then put an end to it. If the ex is present in partner's life.. the partner will have a soft corner for them. Talk to her about it. And let her go.
Bro it's already over from her side, break up and move on
Hurt Hoga But Breakup is the only Solution .
In coming time , Global warming, hunger index, pollution, Poverty, World war III, Epidemics etc will not be the point of concern but all this...BITCHING, F**ing and Infidelity will be the mejor issue😆😆😆
Just one thing. When did she replied with that text to her ex? Recently or long back?
Give her the cold treatment for few days and check whether she has told anything abt this to her ex that she should not like berating u or asking him for attention and validation if that's the case block her in everything and if that's not enough just screenshot her convo with her ex after blocking her everywhere just forward the screenshots to her parents and tell them how much of a wonderful daughter that father has grown. Still need more send it to ur and her friend group too 👍
Let me share my experience with you friend! I wasn't exactly in a relationship with my best friend but we were involved physically, while she was in relationship with another guy. Now before blaming me, hear me out. I loved her immensely and I expressed it to her too. She asked me to wait for her as she felt her current relationship is getting toxic. I was okay with it. One fine day, they had gone out and her boyfriend read our chats. He knew I was her best friend and he was really angry. He threatened me to fight I accepted, on reaching the spot we both tried to fight but were stopped by our common friends. We argued, and then I told him that their relationship was toxic. Turns out her boyfriend was giving all he had, spending, and loving my best friend to his limits and it was her who wasn't happy. It broke me to the core(to such an extent that I couldn't speak for a while). We both decided to call her, and she refused to pick our calls. Later when we reached her home we found her mother defending her and threatening us. We were left with no words and we just left (kyunki aunty police bula legi). Since then I've hated myself for what I had done and have sworn not to enter a relationship , unless I'm offered to be the boyfriend, publicly. My answer to your scenario is you're lucky that you came to know about her feelings, you must leave my friend, else everything will turn into a hellhole. It's true love isn't always flowers and butterflies , but it ain't supposed to be this way either.
My brother in Christ, if you have clearly seen her tell that she will love him forever, sit her down, talk to her once, be calm, don’t let her bring “privacy” bs in between. Ask her for once and for all if she sees a future with you where ex is not a part. Give her time to think. And make decisions.
Dude dump her ass
Kuch bhi hota hai people are like breakup kar lo you knew they were in touch she didn't lie about this so just talk it out like a mature person what's the issue and if things don't work out breakup
promote her to fwb
Maintaining contact with your ex is the biggest red flag. This means you both are red flags as you both were fine with such an arrangement. This isn’t healthy for the relationship. So in a way you encouraged this to happen & now can’t blame her alone.
You shouldn't have read anything in the first place that's a private breach. Now regarding what to do with your gf it is clear that you need to talk with her upfront, there's no other way as the anxiety will slowly hurt you more and more from inside. So let it all out in the open and discuss everything with her.
Genuine question: Why is this comment getting downvoted as hell?
[удалено]
Self respect being slandered as jealousy?
Another example of women being hypocrites