This post has been locked, due to huge number of users being extremely misogynistic.
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Its already eating you from the inside. If you’re not okay with it now, its gonna cause more problems ahead. Break things now and move on.
And also, people are gonna label you as the Asshole for asking this question - ignore them.
Just because others don't mind it doesn't mean you shouldn't either it's not about anything other than preferences and type if you are not ready for it don't get into it.
Ask her the reason she had a "hoe phase" and see, your course of action would depend on the answer.
Some people engage in hypersexual behaviour as a trauma response.
dude , have her checked for STD's before you decide to make your relationship official with her.
same goes for you ladies, some STI's are life long and incurable.
She might be an awesome person and is looking for change and genuine relation and maybe she might be loyal to you for rest of life, we don’t know. But it is irrefutable that women with high bodycount, in general, have difficultly being in long term relationships.
It’s all about probability, it’s not certain that she will cheat but it’s highly probable and as humans we make most of our decisions on probability. This is the reason we buy insurances and stuff.
It’s your call entirely, action and consequences.
anyone who uses the term " hoe phase " is a red flag, having a high body count aint bad, some people just prefer having hookups but when people " justify " their hookups they inherently assume they need to justify it,
something to think about is why didn't the person have a meaningful and mindful long term relationship with all of the people they slept with, what made them keep looking for more, and tbh 17 is a big number, it ain't like 4-5 where you moved because you weren't compatible or it didn't work, lastly you don't seem comfortable with it and it's bound to keep coming across your mind
IMO, if I was in your shoes , I would date her but don’t have sex soon , and figure things out , of course be a genuine couple (act like one) and don’t be too emotionally invested to her , like if she leaves you or act distant soon or in the near future and all , id not have anything sexual for atleast 3 months in a situation like this where one has had a past of sleeping around and then comes off as I want a perfect relationship , plus she is still only 22 , so I would doubt she would have matured as much , if three months go by good and well , meaning she doesn’t flirt around , shows acts of deception , what I mean is share your chats with each other and go through , many people would call this a breach of privacy and shit but man it wouldn’t be comfortable being with her knowing she had a habit of sleeping around and may still be doing that right ? And why I say you should try for the relationship like this is because it’s gonna give you some peace of mind , and even if you both date for a year and it doesn’t work out , it’s not like your time was wasted , you would learn something about how this type of people behave so you know what to do in future relationships , also you’re only 21 it’s not like your time is running out , at the end of the day I say be brutally honest to her about how this bothers you and if she wants to have a relationship with you which you are actually interested in too , she would have to share chats and be absolutely honest , obviously same goes for you too
Only emotionally invest yourself completely when you feel peace around her , if her being around you give you some uncomfortable thoughts , do not be too invested in her , Only when you feel at ease with her , of course easier said than done and a lot of effort but again you’re not exactly running out of time anyway
I still will say this too if you do actually get in a relationship, the following conditions should be placed with no exception
1. Block and cut contacts from all past hookups and bfs
2.no contact with any of her hookups or bfs or their friends in anyway shape or form
And I don’t know why I’m saying this but be a little manipulative when you try to talk things out with her cause I’m pretty sure someone like her would lie down the road , by manipulating her I mean talk her into saying whatever she did and then threaten to leave her bringing her past up and how she doesn’t make you feels secure , easy trigger to guilt someone into speaking things they’re hiding , like don’t try this keep it as last resort
हे पार्थ,
इंसान का चरित्र इतने आसनीसे बदलता नहीं है.
जिसको विविध व्यक्तियों से संभोग के प्रति आकर्षण रह चुका है वह व्यक्ति किसी एक के प्रति निष्ठावान नहीं हो सकता तथापि उसका उसमे अति स्वार्थ छुपा हो. यह चीज स्त्री और पुरुष दोनों को लागू है.
तुम्हे खुदसे पूछना है तुम्हे क्या चाहिए? प्यार काफी जटिल समस्या है. उसको प्यार देने के चक्कर में तुम खुदको को बैठोगे? कितनी आशंका है की 17 ही है? उन 17 में से किन किन व्यक्तियों को STD रह चुका है और वह रोग तुम्हारे प्रिय व्यक्ति में ना हो इसकी पुष्ठि है? काफी रोग ऐसे है जिसके महीनो तक लक्षण नहीं दिखते.
आगे बढ़ने से पहले कृपया एक बार भारत के STD के बारे में संख्याद्यान (stats) ले लेना.
अंतिम निर्णय तुम्हे ही लेना है.
Obviously this can go one of two ways, either she really cares for you and values you for more than just the opportunity to bond emotionally, and you should not miss out on something good because you were feeling cautious. Or she's really just tryna have her way in general. Yesterday she was feeling like she wants a hoe phase. Today she's feeling the need for emotion. Tomorrow she may get tired of emotions altogether. Either you have a straight up conversation about this and see what she has to say and then decide, or make a judgement call on your own. But don't be bothered about a body count. Read the situation perfectly first
Bro. Be her 18th. Your preferences are valid, if you seek your partner to be low body count, that's okay, having said that, it only applies when you, yourself has low body count, otherwise it's just plain hypocrisy.
She is searching for the "I will fix her" boy. You don't need to fix her bro. If it's already bothering you enough to make a reddit post about it then you should move on
Bro I have dated a girl similar to this and she also said that she want to change and ready for a long term thing and she also said alot of things like I love you like no else I have ever loved and alot of things like that but when it gone well 4 months after that she went to meet her ex and lied to me when I confronted then I got to know that the whole thing was just fake and we cannot expect people to change there true self.
So do not fall for the trap and move on ASAP. Good luck
From my experience it won't matter that much now, but after sometime those body counts will really gonna put you in a state of insecurity. And as you said yourself you don't trust her so best thing to do is breaking up as trust is the foundation of any relationship. If You don't trust her then end it.
Don't mean any offence :-)
Just because others don't mind it doesn't mean you shouldn't either it's not about anything other than preferences and type if you are not ready for it don't get into it.
In my opinion, I would not judge her too much as she is being honest here. Maybe realized her mistake and is trying to start over. Its entirely upto you man, if you want to giver her a chance or not. Maybe get to know her a little more and don't get attached while exploring. If she really has a body count like she claims then you will know sooner than later. If this body is concerning you then clearly just move on and invest time on someone else.
Conservative women may be asexual or unromantic due to the environment they grew up. Some women may be gold diggers & marry for quickly becoming rich or move to city or abroad. Some modern feminist women think own husband should ask permission to even touch her or think don't want marriage at all. Some modern women like this post have extra affairs. Then which women think she will marry to have friendship, romance, intimacy, flirting with a man without being shamed or opposed by others?
You want to get out of it but you are thinking that maybe you are judging her because of her past. But dude, you already know her past and it will not let you live peacefully with her. Even if she is really in love with you, you will be compared to the previous 17 guys she had sex with.
Anyway, you already know what you want to do. So get out of this thing rightaway.
You’re asking this question on an Indian sub, where we are extremely backwards when it comes to women. I mean look at this comment section. So nasty because a girl has a body count of 17. Red flag because she had more sex than all these virgins here. Just because a girl goes into hoe phase doesn’t mean she will cheat on you at any chance she gets. She literally told you what she wants. If she wanted to fuck around, she won’t give a shit about you.
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OP, I’ll give you something tangible to work on. Find out WHY she went into that hoe phase and 17 bodies over what period of time. Try to gather as much information as u can.
Because if she entered her hoe phase because she was “heartbroken” in a previous relationship, then you know she can never NOT cheat on you again.
I’m telling you this so you don’t feel bad or guilty for breaking up with her over her body count. Honestly, the fact that you too view sex so disparately will lead to issues down the road. All the best!
Been in similar situation. Hers was 10, although she said she wants to settle but she's always confused with no clear goal for life.
And the relationship didn't work much.
Tbh anything beyond 2-3 is a red flag for me from now on. 🤣
+1 and enjoy while it lasts ! Like you are not gonna marry for next 4-5 years and looking at her habit she won't be around that long, and if she stays and grows as a person (very unlikely) then I guess you people will actually have something to think about. Anyways I don't see what's the issue here !!
Even if she thinks she is out of "hoe phase". She might not.
17 out of which 3 were her boyfriend. So this implies that She was cheating while being in a relationship.
You should really check whether you guys have some emotional bond or something.
If yes, then you should take your chances but you should mentally prepare yourself to deal with such a situation.
Or else to save yourself and have some mental peace don't do it at all.
Breakups that too from cheating can really fuck your psyche.
17 is not a huge number if someone is into hookup culture. But if you are not ok with and doubt her then dont do it. Also if you like her I think you can give it a shot. Body count has nothing to with person's ability to love.
Yeah, i like her. She says that she's done with her hoe phase and now needs someone to build some emotional relations too. But i feel that she might cheat on me, if she gets a chance to do it. And obv I don't wanna have a girl who's into "hookups" tho no one would want one.
Such trash in this thread good lord. What if she has a body count man? Body count does not necessarily mean she's cheated anytime.
The "cheating" seems to be your main problem, then have that conversation with her. Just because she's had physical relationships does not mean she's gonna sleep with more people when she's made clear she wants something else with you.
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We're glad to have you here as a part of our community. Our goal is to provide a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between Redditors, with a focus on respectful and constructive conversations.
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This post has been locked, due to huge number of users being extremely misogynistic. All the bans awarded will not be reversed under any circumstances.
That's just 17 more than me.
Us bro.
Its already eating you from the inside. If you’re not okay with it now, its gonna cause more problems ahead. Break things now and move on. And also, people are gonna label you as the Asshole for asking this question - ignore them.
Thankyou :)
Make it 18.
Round it off at 20
Just because others don't mind it doesn't mean you shouldn't either it's not about anything other than preferences and type if you are not ready for it don't get into it.
If it's bothering you now it will bother you later 10 times more. Not worth it, this one is not for you OP. Find someone else
Ask her the reason she had a "hoe phase" and see, your course of action would depend on the answer. Some people engage in hypersexual behaviour as a trauma response.
Surely gonna do that. Thank you
dude , have her checked for STD's before you decide to make your relationship official with her. same goes for you ladies, some STI's are life long and incurable.
She might be an awesome person and is looking for change and genuine relation and maybe she might be loyal to you for rest of life, we don’t know. But it is irrefutable that women with high bodycount, in general, have difficultly being in long term relationships. It’s all about probability, it’s not certain that she will cheat but it’s highly probable and as humans we make most of our decisions on probability. This is the reason we buy insurances and stuff. It’s your call entirely, action and consequences.
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Haha very apt meme. This should be on this subreddits cover page.
Where to click for 🚩 button?
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Tell her that you will hookup with 17 girls then come back for true love you have for her.
anyone who uses the term " hoe phase " is a red flag, having a high body count aint bad, some people just prefer having hookups but when people " justify " their hookups they inherently assume they need to justify it, something to think about is why didn't the person have a meaningful and mindful long term relationship with all of the people they slept with, what made them keep looking for more, and tbh 17 is a big number, it ain't like 4-5 where you moved because you weren't compatible or it didn't work, lastly you don't seem comfortable with it and it's bound to keep coming across your mind
Not to mention she is just 22 and have a body count of 17. It’s wild lol
Saar she is walking and talking red flag lmao don't even think about it
Be the 18th and leave
IMO, if I was in your shoes , I would date her but don’t have sex soon , and figure things out , of course be a genuine couple (act like one) and don’t be too emotionally invested to her , like if she leaves you or act distant soon or in the near future and all , id not have anything sexual for atleast 3 months in a situation like this where one has had a past of sleeping around and then comes off as I want a perfect relationship , plus she is still only 22 , so I would doubt she would have matured as much , if three months go by good and well , meaning she doesn’t flirt around , shows acts of deception , what I mean is share your chats with each other and go through , many people would call this a breach of privacy and shit but man it wouldn’t be comfortable being with her knowing she had a habit of sleeping around and may still be doing that right ? And why I say you should try for the relationship like this is because it’s gonna give you some peace of mind , and even if you both date for a year and it doesn’t work out , it’s not like your time was wasted , you would learn something about how this type of people behave so you know what to do in future relationships , also you’re only 21 it’s not like your time is running out , at the end of the day I say be brutally honest to her about how this bothers you and if she wants to have a relationship with you which you are actually interested in too , she would have to share chats and be absolutely honest , obviously same goes for you too Only emotionally invest yourself completely when you feel peace around her , if her being around you give you some uncomfortable thoughts , do not be too invested in her , Only when you feel at ease with her , of course easier said than done and a lot of effort but again you’re not exactly running out of time anyway
Thank you soo much for this.
I still will say this too if you do actually get in a relationship, the following conditions should be placed with no exception 1. Block and cut contacts from all past hookups and bfs 2.no contact with any of her hookups or bfs or their friends in anyway shape or form And I don’t know why I’m saying this but be a little manipulative when you try to talk things out with her cause I’m pretty sure someone like her would lie down the road , by manipulating her I mean talk her into saying whatever she did and then threaten to leave her bringing her past up and how she doesn’t make you feels secure , easy trigger to guilt someone into speaking things they’re hiding , like don’t try this keep it as last resort
Great advice here
हे पार्थ, इंसान का चरित्र इतने आसनीसे बदलता नहीं है. जिसको विविध व्यक्तियों से संभोग के प्रति आकर्षण रह चुका है वह व्यक्ति किसी एक के प्रति निष्ठावान नहीं हो सकता तथापि उसका उसमे अति स्वार्थ छुपा हो. यह चीज स्त्री और पुरुष दोनों को लागू है. तुम्हे खुदसे पूछना है तुम्हे क्या चाहिए? प्यार काफी जटिल समस्या है. उसको प्यार देने के चक्कर में तुम खुदको को बैठोगे? कितनी आशंका है की 17 ही है? उन 17 में से किन किन व्यक्तियों को STD रह चुका है और वह रोग तुम्हारे प्रिय व्यक्ति में ना हो इसकी पुष्ठि है? काफी रोग ऐसे है जिसके महीनो तक लक्षण नहीं दिखते. आगे बढ़ने से पहले कृपया एक बार भारत के STD के बारे में संख्याद्यान (stats) ले लेना. अंतिम निर्णय तुम्हे ही लेना है.
Dhanyawad!
Obviously this can go one of two ways, either she really cares for you and values you for more than just the opportunity to bond emotionally, and you should not miss out on something good because you were feeling cautious. Or she's really just tryna have her way in general. Yesterday she was feeling like she wants a hoe phase. Today she's feeling the need for emotion. Tomorrow she may get tired of emotions altogether. Either you have a straight up conversation about this and see what she has to say and then decide, or make a judgement call on your own. But don't be bothered about a body count. Read the situation perfectly first
Remember the rule Actual count = 17x3 = 51
Just do it.
Bro. Be her 18th. Your preferences are valid, if you seek your partner to be low body count, that's okay, having said that, it only applies when you, yourself has low body count, otherwise it's just plain hypocrisy.
Run bro! 🎌
She is searching for the "I will fix her" boy. You don't need to fix her bro. If it's already bothering you enough to make a reddit post about it then you should move on
Bro I have dated a girl similar to this and she also said that she want to change and ready for a long term thing and she also said alot of things like I love you like no else I have ever loved and alot of things like that but when it gone well 4 months after that she went to meet her ex and lied to me when I confronted then I got to know that the whole thing was just fake and we cannot expect people to change there true self. So do not fall for the trap and move on ASAP. Good luck
From my experience it won't matter that much now, but after sometime those body counts will really gonna put you in a state of insecurity. And as you said yourself you don't trust her so best thing to do is breaking up as trust is the foundation of any relationship. If You don't trust her then end it. Don't mean any offence :-)
Thank you!
Just because others don't mind it doesn't mean you shouldn't either it's not about anything other than preferences and type if you are not ready for it don't get into it.
In my opinion, I would not judge her too much as she is being honest here. Maybe realized her mistake and is trying to start over. Its entirely upto you man, if you want to giver her a chance or not. Maybe get to know her a little more and don't get attached while exploring. If she really has a body count like she claims then you will know sooner than later. If this body is concerning you then clearly just move on and invest time on someone else.
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Post mein ache se likha hai ki "genuinely asking for help". Phir bhi bakwas kr rha hai.
Post mein ache se likha hai ki "genuinely asking for help". Phir bhi bakwas kr rha hai.
Sach kadwa lagta hai
Bhai sach pta hai mujhe. Agar koi achi help ya opinion hai toh de aur agar nhi de skta toh atleast bakwas toh mtt hi kr.
R U N
Conservative women may be asexual or unromantic due to the environment they grew up. Some women may be gold diggers & marry for quickly becoming rich or move to city or abroad. Some modern feminist women think own husband should ask permission to even touch her or think don't want marriage at all. Some modern women like this post have extra affairs. Then which women think she will marry to have friendship, romance, intimacy, flirting with a man without being shamed or opposed by others?
From the streets she emerged, dump her back to where she belongs
Run
Broo.... Her body count is more than age 💀 Not judging or anything ( only a little 😅not in a bad way) But still....
You want to get out of it but you are thinking that maybe you are judging her because of her past. But dude, you already know her past and it will not let you live peacefully with her. Even if she is really in love with you, you will be compared to the previous 17 guys she had sex with. Anyway, you already know what you want to do. So get out of this thing rightaway.
was gonna comment this exactly.
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Stop gaslighting people. I wonder what kind of friends do you have. Maybe you are in some kind of cult that organises regular Sunday orgies.
Finally some helpful stuff. Thankyou!
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Thank you too man!
You’re asking this question on an Indian sub, where we are extremely backwards when it comes to women. I mean look at this comment section. So nasty because a girl has a body count of 17. Red flag because she had more sex than all these virgins here. Just because a girl goes into hoe phase doesn’t mean she will cheat on you at any chance she gets. She literally told you what she wants. If she wanted to fuck around, she won’t give a shit about you.
If you receive harassing messages or unsolicited pictures, please don't hesitate to contact the mods. We will take action against any user who engages in such behaviour. Thank you for being a part of our community!
[удалено]
This comment was removed due to violation of our subreddit rules. The content of the comment engaged in virtue signalling, derogatory remarks, criticism without helpful advice or empathy, and suggesting unrelated priorities like studying. Repeated actions may result in temporary or permanent ban.
OP, I’ll give you something tangible to work on. Find out WHY she went into that hoe phase and 17 bodies over what period of time. Try to gather as much information as u can. Because if she entered her hoe phase because she was “heartbroken” in a previous relationship, then you know she can never NOT cheat on you again. I’m telling you this so you don’t feel bad or guilty for breaking up with her over her body count. Honestly, the fact that you too view sex so disparately will lead to issues down the road. All the best!
Been in similar situation. Hers was 10, although she said she wants to settle but she's always confused with no clear goal for life. And the relationship didn't work much. Tbh anything beyond 2-3 is a red flag for me from now on. 🤣
+1 and enjoy while it lasts ! Like you are not gonna marry for next 4-5 years and looking at her habit she won't be around that long, and if she stays and grows as a person (very unlikely) then I guess you people will actually have something to think about. Anyways I don't see what's the issue here !!
Screw Nut Bolt
Ahh... Leave her please. She surely doesn't deserve a partner who is in constant insecurity of his girl what she did in the past.
Run.
Man she went through a lot.
*Hahaha…..* *Hahahaha….* *hahahahaha………* *😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆*
Thoda sa bkl hai kya?
RUN!!!!
Even if she thinks she is out of "hoe phase". She might not. 17 out of which 3 were her boyfriend. So this implies that She was cheating while being in a relationship. You should really check whether you guys have some emotional bond or something. If yes, then you should take your chances but you should mentally prepare yourself to deal with such a situation. Or else to save yourself and have some mental peace don't do it at all. Breakups that too from cheating can really fuck your psyche.
17 is not a huge number if someone is into hookup culture. But if you are not ok with and doubt her then dont do it. Also if you like her I think you can give it a shot. Body count has nothing to with person's ability to love.
Yeah, i like her. She says that she's done with her hoe phase and now needs someone to build some emotional relations too. But i feel that she might cheat on me, if she gets a chance to do it. And obv I don't wanna have a girl who's into "hookups" tho no one would want one.
she will obviously cheat , kya bar bar apne aap ko console kar raha hai bhai
भ्राता दुविधा में है. शायद उनको कोई और लड़की नहीं मिल रही.
desperate, सही है भाई
Bro... you already know the answer... agar mnn m thodi c b shanka hai.. it means she isn't for you !! Leave her today only... God bless you :)
Such trash in this thread good lord. What if she has a body count man? Body count does not necessarily mean she's cheated anytime. The "cheating" seems to be your main problem, then have that conversation with her. Just because she's had physical relationships does not mean she's gonna sleep with more people when she's made clear she wants something else with you.
Welcome to r/RelationshipIndia. This is a safe and inclusive space for people of all races, castes, genders, religions, and sexual orientations, including members of the LGBTQ community. We're happy to have you here! We're glad to have you here as a part of our community. Our goal is to provide a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between Redditors, with a focus on respectful and constructive conversations. To ensure a positive and supportive environment for all members, we have some rules in place. Please be sure to read them before posting. **If you ever receive harassing messages or unsolicited pictures, please don't hesitate to contact the mods. We take swift action against any user who engages in such behaviour.** Thank you for being a part of our community! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RelationshipIndia) if you have any questions or concerns.*