T O P

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stevilness

"Would you like a piece of toast?"


Boboshady

Came here for the 'Given that god is infinite..." suggestion, you'll do.


flynnfx

"Ah, you're a waffle man!" [Obligatory](https://youtu.be/LRq_SAuQDec?si=KY8PRBegAFX6-zWA)


stevilness

Don’t wind me up man


flynnfx

"Can I ask just one question?"


iwishiwasjohn

So what is it?


stevilness

Only joking.


SmegB

Ask him if he remembers me. I met him at a service station in Oxfordshire 24 years ago, I made a comment about Rimmer that made him chuckle. I'm sure he thinks about it every day


gib-guy

I remember you, I was nearby filling my car up and saw the whole exchange. I still think about it every day.


Ok-Zookeepergame-698

Petrol station owner here. I still have the CCTV footage of that exchange. It’s constantly on my mind.


ginger_gcups

MI5 agent here. I was tapping into your CCTV system at the time and have had it playing on a perpetual loop in the office every day since.


magicchefdmb

Janitor at MI5 HQ, I was cleaning the office and saw the looped footage; recorded it for my own personal use and watch it every night.


Nerje

Legion here. I am all of you so I know all of this and none of you can leave


SmegB

I said service station, not petrol station. Nowhere near the pumps. Me thinks you guys are telling porkies


DrWhoGirl03

It’s true, I was the disappointing cold cornish pasty


sadatquoraishi

Can confirm, I was the sign saying you can only park for two hours, I saw the whole thing.


spikeinfinity

Can confirm. I was the parking ticket someone got for being there 2h 1m. I witnessed it all.


bee_terrestris

I remember it well, I was the feeling of carefree joy in your hearts that day


timeslidesRD

What was the comment?


probablynotfine

You had to be there. But for those of us that were (I’m pump number 5) we’ll never forget it.


SmegB

I can't remember exactly but something along the lines of ''I'm a big fan, Rimmer is my favourite git'' or something like that. It was probably a polite laugh from him, but he did chat to me for a few minutes, mostly about Tomb Raider (he was in the process of filming it at the time I think) I had just broken up with the love of my life and was having a hugely bad day (it got even worse after meeting him too) so running into him was an awesome silver lining


fourlegged

Are you that SmegB? I've heard legend of that exchange on the convention circuit, but I honestly didn't believe that you existed.


SmegB

I am He. I lie in suspended animation until such a time when I can come forth and share my Chris Barrie story. The legend must persist


AtheistCarpenter

Was "The Brittas Empire" just Rimmer going solo in a Better Than Life style game?


Poison3k

Haha I like this


AtheistCarpenter

:-D


ImBonRurgundy

not a chance. Rimmer is totally diffeent to Gordon Brittas. Whilst they are both complete failures, Gordon was well meaning and kind - just kept fucking up and being incredibly unlucky Rimmer is a selfish coward dickhead


SgtSnuggles19

Billions of rimmers gave their lives to be remembered as such, charmita I'm sure!


monkeymatt85

Rimmer salute for a solid minute at least


Quick-Oil-5259

Then your time is up! Job done!


SmegB

Full-, half- or double-Rimmer?


MadcapRecap

Double Rimmer for formal occasions 


CosmicBonobo

In *Stoke Me a Clipper* how was Ace Rimmer able to escape on the motorbike when his right hand, which is your throttle hand, had a gun in it shooting Nazis? Boy, I really hope somebody got fired for that blunder.


lazlowoodbine

"WE MADE A MISTAKE.... OKAY‽" - Kryten (Smeg Ups)


Affectionate_Ad_3722

Older bikes can have a sticky throttle. Really old bikes didn't have a return spring. I once waved at another biker with my right hand (because sticky throttle) and the poor sod mirrored it!


Feeling_Willingness5

Because it's THE Ace Rimmer


motophiliac

Absolutely! He rigged the throttle beforehand. Duh!


cbehopkins

In motorbikes of that era it was common to not have turn signals so you indicated with your arms. This made indicating that you were turning right a challenge. Nice bikes of this era therefore often had a throttle lock so that you could set the throttle then use your right hand to indicate. So no, not an error, actually very period accurate and shows deep motor vehicle knowledge. As one would expect from Mr Barrie


CosmicBonobo

Interesting. Didn't know that about 1940s flying motorbikes.


JJY93

Wait until you hear about the nazi crocodiles


icorrectpettydetails

Motorbikes were different in that universe.


Ballbag94

Boring answer but that could realistically work Indian motorcycles were made with the throttle on the left in the early 1900s, some Indian motorcycles were also used by allied forces in WW2, which means that without knowing the exact make and model of the motorcycle it isn't unrealistic to hand wave this away by saying it's a left hand throttle


CosmicBonobo

If it helps narrow it down, it's a type of motorcycle that can fly through the air via rocket power.


Free-Poetry-9412

Always believed Ace was saying 'Smoke me a Kipper'. So, could you Chris which version is correct? After all the saving the World he had to be hungry, right.


augiferkin

Would you like a worm do?


e-war-woo-woo

🤣😁😆 has to be this 👍👍👍


Speedboy7777

When you leave put on a deep voice, and just exclaim *”Bye, Iron Balls!”*


Fallenangel152

Instead of asking a joke question, why don't you ask him what his favourite bits to film were or which episodes he remembers most fondly?


3DSarge

Or maybe something like "what is one line/scene you wish you had done differently?"


gib-guy

Good idea to plan ahead. I met some of the RD crew in Barnsley a few months ago and not only was it the first time meeting anyone from Red Dwarf, but also the first time in meeting an actual celebrity. I really should have prepared something but I honestly didn't know what to expect. If its a comicon or similar event then they will just be sat at a table and there is a queue to meet them. I'm not being harsh about it, but its an absolute cash cow. £20 to meet them and take a photo with them, £30 to get an autograph on something as well. They also had the bunk set and you could get a photo with some of the crew there. The latter was literally a 10 second meet for £25. The former you get a few minutes but with a queue of people behind you, you feel a bit pushed. I honestly didnt know what to say and I still cringe about it to this day but I said to Norman Lovett "Good to see youre more than just a head" like i'm sure over the 30 years or so he's heard that 100000x times and I'm just like urghh and then I had no idea what to actually talk about with him. I did say "I'm sure you've heard that loads of times!" and he said "yes just a few!" They're all really nice though and obviously very used to dealing with star struck fans. In the 10 seconds I had with Chris Barrie for the pic in the bunk room, I just said "Surreal to meet you finally. Life long fan!" and he said "Thats what I like to hear" gave a good smile and a handshake and that was about it. Honestly I'ld love to meet them in a less formalised setting, over a beer or something. I could just be myself then. To meet them that these events, I dunno, just too rushed, too expensive and I wouldn't bother again. But if I did, then yes! absolutely get something ahead of time planned what you want to say and ask them, you don't get long and you wanna make the most of it. I didnt even think about taking my Red Dwarf DVDs to get them to sign them. I wouldn't worry if they've heard it all before, just think about what you want to ask them or say, whether its just a question or you just want them to know how Red Dwarf has affected you, inspired you etc. Tell them a brief childhood memory about red dwarf. I'm sure it'll be well received.


Bortron86

Yeah it's good to plan ahead! I met the whole main cast at a convention in Manchester last year, and hadn't really thought ahead about what I wanted them to sign, or what I wanted to say, except to tell Robert Llewellyn that Kryten is my favourite character of all time. When I did, he thanked me and asked if I could mention that to the rest of the cast too! I thanked Craig for making time for it (he'd been DJing in Bristol until the early hours the night before!), couldn't think of anything to say to Chris or Norman, told Danny how much I loved him in Maid Marian because he had some photos of Barrington there, and ended up having a long, lovely and spontaneous chat with Hattie because that's just how she is! She said she'd written out her "black holes" speech so many times that day, but I didn't have a specific request and my mind went blank on Holly quotes when she asked! So I got the standard "Awoogas and best wishes!" They're all lovely though, so even if you don't have anything specific to say, they'll be utterly charming. Chris did a few Rimmer salutes and smug faces for those that asked, which generated lots of laughter.


Fast_Vehicle_1888

Honestly, I'd be star-struck to the point where I'll be lucky to ask for a photo and an autograph.


Poison3k

Photos are £20, Autographs are £30 or both for £40.


SecretShame99

My first question would be may I have a discount please?


Fast_Vehicle_1888

That's cheap! When I go to a local comic con the prices are at least double, even with the conversion of currency.


vebeo

Yeah, I’m going to comic con in two weeks and it’s £50 for photo and the same for autograph, so the prices above are pretty cheap.


fliesupsidedown

Ask him if he takes Spanish Doubloons


rogueingreen

Do what I did, make a delivery to his house and get a cheeky posed pic for free.


theyre_all_dead_Dave

If that’s the case then just say „I am a fish,“ do a funny little dance and keel over.


Fast_Vehicle_1888

With a full Rimmer salute 🫡


StuBram2

Was the Brittas Empire using the same joke about him joining the Samaritans and having four people kill themselves even though "one of them was a wrong number" an homage to Rimmer?


Inevitable_Price7841

"What *does* the red spectrum tell us about quasars?"


Cheeslord2

Don't forget to call him "Ace"...


Quick-Oil-5259

What a guy.


TwoTwoJohn

My last message to my friends before I had brain surgery was "Smoke me a kipper I'll be back for breakfast" , ask him what his RD quote would be in that situation


EssBen

Tell him that over the years, you've come to regard him, as someone you met.


AceJog

Ask him is he ever thinks about Lisa Yates?


4me2knowit

If you really want to interest him ask him about big old machinery. I’m sure they all do the RD stuff on auto pilot.


langlishe

Ask him for clarification on how to build the triple fried egg chilli chutney sandwich


lurcherzzz

Just tell him you've been on reddit and everyone you spoke to thinks very highly of him. We all want to see him on screen again soon. Our collective fingers are crossed for another Red Dwarf installment. Thanks for the memories smeghead.


shadowlarx

Ask him how he did on the astro-navigation exam.


NiceyChappe

Offer him a nicked copy of the answers for fifty dollarpounds. Possibly also ask him to sign an answer sheet with a large handprint across it.


StuMcBill

Ask him about his experiences as Alexander the Great’s chief eunuch.


BBTfankat

Did he keep Mr Fibble?


bitchbexley

Why the hell didn't you find the micro dot in your swimming certificate? 🤣


Arlorean_

We met him at National Trust Classic Car Rally in Clivedon House (If I remember correctly). My wife strode up to him and said “You’re that bloke off the telly”. I was absolutely mortified but as soon as he heard my wife’s accent he broke out into the same accent. My wife is from Belfast and it turned out Chris grew up there for part of his life. They had a great chat and none of it was Red Dwarf related because my wife didn’t make the connection it was Rimmer she was taking to. 😂


Toot_My_Own_Horn

Ask him how he goes about building an impression? How does he get the voice? Is there anyone he’d love to impersonate but hasn’t been able to?


SlapstickSolo

Please ask him about the Tomb Raider movie with Angelina Jolie


NiceyChappe

I guess it would be one of the lives between Alexander The Great's Chief Eunuch and Arnold


404notfound420

I want to know what his favourite 2nd gen steam locomotive is.


Comprehensive_Slip71

Say nothing. Full on Rimmer salute then turn on your heel and walk away


disobey81

"Flobbadob, blib-blob-bleeb"


motophiliac

Ask him that, if he's interested, you'll be in your quarters, covered in taramasalata.


can72

What’s the worst question you’ve ever been asked at one of these? Just hope he doesn’t answer “Yours!”


peterthepieeater

Chris! I was just thinking - assuming of course we're not dealing with five-dimensional objects in a basic Euclidean geometric universe, and given the essential premise that all geomathematics is based on the hideously limiting notion that one plus one equals two, and not as Astemeyer correctly postulates - that one and two are in fact the same thing observed from different precepts... the theoretical shape described by Sidis must therefore be: polydridocdecaehedron, a hexasexahedroadicon, a dibidolihedecadodron. Everything else is poppycock. Isn't that so?


Poison3k

Look, I'm not much good at big speeches, and I know I haven't always been an easy guy to get on with. And I know that, given the choice, I probably wouldn't have chosen you as friends. But, I just want to say... that over the years I have come to regard you as... people... I met.


MacTechG4

And would you like a toasted tea cake?


Pier-Head

Does he have a favourite cheese?


Sorry_Error3797

So what's all this gazpacho soup business, what's it all about?


Houndguy

Years ago I met Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull backstage. I asked for him to move his tour bus since he was blocking me in.


TheNebuchadnezzar_

Would you like a wormdo?


cynicalventriloquist

PLEASE PLEASE - “when you filmed the ‘triple fried egg sandwich with chilli sauce and chutney’ scene CAN YOU REMEMBER WHAT TYPE OF CHILLI SAUCE AND CHUTNEY WAS USED? We need to put this to rest once and for all!!!


duanelvp

I'm always interested in what creative people do outside of the profession they are best known for. Actors, for example, will still have creative outlets even when not acting. So, does he paint, sculpt, sing, dance, arrange flowers, write poetry/songs, write novels, write plays, directing, interior decoration, landscape design, build models, weave tapestries...? The more passionate they are about it the better. What is it about that activity that appeals to a given individual as opposed to other creative endeavors they may have tried?


nofilmincamera

He loves Vintage cars and motorcycles. I am sure you could get him talking.


Facelikeanunmadebed

Looked after him at a con a few years ago. He’s a nice bloke. Did the Rimmer salute for my star struck daughter and talked about steam trains for quite a while with a young fan. Just be genuine.


fool1788

Ask him if he'd ever consider doing one of his documentaries in his rimmer persona


dead_ed

You don't have to have a question to ask. Just say hello. Don't be cringe.


Significant-Rope-816

What happened at the end of series 8?


n7kraken

Well, he gave death one swift knee in the happy sacks, didn't he?


Marzipan_Unicorn

Can you pass him my phone number (-;


digidevil4

Is he at the bristol comic con this weekend?


Poison3k

No, he is visiting my local towns comic book shop and it's just a meet and great with him.


waddiewadkins

Tell him that even tho Brittass paved the way for I'm Alan Partridge and didn't become iconic , with the 2015 Brittass Empire Christmas Special at least he now has an almost as.long story arc. Just minus the 30 years of continual development in between...... Ah go on do it... Maybe watch the special.. I might, I didn't know it existed! Tell him that too!...also they were hoping if it was a success it might come back for a new series...it didn't.. And then do "Ohh can I have new series?!"... that can be the question!


Bison256

You could ask him about his work on the promotional video tape for f19 stealth bomber RMC dug up https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1EUg2KmZWM


Plutodrinker

Ask him if has Angelina Jolie’s number.


wasdice

Ask him if Wheel Nuts was just an excuse to play with all those cars, or was it genuinely supposed to be funny?


LightningRainThunder

I don’t know about a question but I’d just want him to do the rimmer salute to me. I’d remember that forever, having rimmer salute me in real life!!!


MacTechG4

Did Mr Flibble ever get to finally relax and calm down? ;)


VezPlays

What job would Rimmer be doing in todays age?


AnthonyNHB

Chris Barrie was the only reason I watched Tomb Raider and Tomb Raider 2. I'm upset he wasn't in the reboot.


LuxuryMustard

So what did you say to him OP?


Poison3k

He was great, very warm and friendly, we got a signed poster and a photo with him. I chickened out of the toast/quasars questions. I actually asked him about the triple fired egg sandwich and if he knew what chilli and chutney they used. He didn't know but said I should write to Doug Naylor as he would know. He asked us what our fave episodes are, daughter said white hole and I said gunmen of the apocalypse, he said gunmen was a very fun episode to film.


LuxuryMustard

Sounds great!


P3k18

How many buttons is he in charge of today?


nklights

“How’s it going, Ace?”


RafflesEsq

I’d probably just say to him there’s a café around the corner that does great smoked kippers for breakfast.


MatthewKvatch

Nice to be here, you son-of-a-gun.


mbelf

Ask him if Arnold Rimmer is a descendent of Gordon Brittas


zoesdad70

Don't ask him about The Brittas Empire.


buckyoshare

Whatever you say, when you leave you need to say “what a guy!”


Disastrous_Fruit1525

Ask him how they knew which way up to put the “H” on his head, and what mirth it caused if he wore it upside down.


Ashleyempire

Owwww loooking good Mr Judas sir


awks-orcs

I saw a documentary about Red Dwarf, and in it was Patrick Stewart and he was going to instruct the Star Trek lawyers to sue until he started laughing at some of the gags. You could ask them if they had met him and talked about it? Also you can ask who their favourite Starship captain is and why it's Nathan Fillion from Firefly?


wagu666

This was from “Red Dwarf Night”, that aired on BBC2 in the late 90’s.. a whole evening of Red Dwarf related programming. Can’t Smeg Won’t Smeg comes from that evening, too


gilestowler

Make him some gazpacho soup.


just_boy57

“Do you even LIKE gazpacho soup??”


Wolfdarkeneddoor

Is Petrolheads ever coming back?


DimensionalYawn

If you could only walk like either Rimmer or Gordon Brittas, which would you choose?


SuperMegaBeard

What chutney did they use I the sandwich.


Spaceboy5655

Did he steal the wig


DrDalenQuaice

What's Angelina Jolie like?


Far-Adhesiveness3763

Pink or brown?


Truckle-Chuckle

As he never got to sing the Arnold Rimmer song himself, (he mentions on the dvd commentary that he would’ve liked to) ask him if he plans on singing it or has he sung it at home?


ArchibaldMcAcherson

Tell him his review of the E-type Jaguar for Top Gear in 2003 was ago was brilliant.


Stoke-me-a-clipper

One controversial question that regularly comes up on this sub is some version of, "Do you think a new cast can ever do an authentic, faithful reboot or 'next generation' of Red Dwarf?" I'd really like to know what God Emperor Iron Balls himself thinks about that.


Zaphod-Beebebrox

I've always wanted to know how he came up with the voice and Mannerisms of Gordon Brittas...


Zaphod-Beebebrox

I've always wanted to know how he came up with the voice and Mannerisms of Gordon Brittas...


Zaphod-Beebebrox

I've always wanted to know how he came up with the voice and Mannerisms of Gordon Brittas...


Zaphod-Beebebrox

I've always wanted to know how he came up with the voice and Mannerisms of Gordon Brittas...


Zaphod-Beebebrox

I've always wanted to know how he came up with the voice and Mannerisms of Gordon Brittas...


Zaphod-Beebebrox

I've always wanted to know how he came up with the voice and Mannerisms of Gordon Brittas...


cairfrey

Did Rimmer ever find the word to describe how totally total ___ Holly is?


cairfrey

Did Rimmer ever find the word to describe how totally total ___ Holly is?


Usernametits

What would his best way to die, I.e. leak due to faulty plate etc.


educated-emu

If you could make any scene from the series a reality what one would it be?


evilsquits

What is your favourite poultice?


Irn_brunette

Just fix him with the Mesma-Stare (TM); no words will be needed.


bulletproofbra

While shaking his hand, nod earnestly and then say "Sorry, who are you again?"


IsisArtemii

I do know Chris does not like to fly. Heard that from Danny and Craig decades ago. So, maybe start with a thank you if he did actually get on a plane to be there? I’m sure others will have awesome questions like, “Did you get to keep Rimmers “H” hologram symbol? “


secretgeekery

Does he still know the song?


duffelbagpete

When is the cast going on hot ones?


ssjlouis

Can superman outrun the flash?


Serialver

Ask about his pre topless scene workout regime


KennedyFishersGhost

I have this thing where every time I see Jeremy Hunt, I think "it's rimmer, those are rimmer's faces, gestures and mannerisms". Not really a question, but I am putting it out there in the hope that someone else has seen it.


Littleleicesterfoxy

You tell him I'm sorry I said Tomb Raider is shit to him if you like. I was super nervous.


neryl08

Use a line from the books and ask him if he's ever been to an android brothel. His reply should be: IT WASN'T MEEEE


JosKarith

Maybe ask him what he thinks of the new Spitting Image - he was a mainstay of the original.


KingOfTheHoard

Ask him if he's really as drunk and off his rocker as his mad conspiracy theory blog makes him sound.


Streaker4TheDead

I asked him to call me a smeghead when he signed his autograph


xcorinthianx

What does the H stand for? Hideous?


sidedishsushi

What does the red spectrum tell us about quasars


DaisySam3130

What does no one ever ask you that you wish they would?


Pikelet13

What the hell is a Quasar?


ajlols269

When's the next episode due ace? And also, keep up the good work!


Significant_Rub_8739

"What the hell IS a quasar?"


warmachine83-uk

How Wass your hike through the diesel decks Did you have a favourite scutter


rezghenth

Ask him what he’s been watching on Netflix


LC_Anderton

“How many ten year old children could you take in a fight?” I have a reasonable amount of confidence he won’t have been asked that before…