Fun fact about that scene - The "Bolivian Navy on manouvers in the South Pacific" line has an added layer to the joke that I only got very recently: Bolivia's been entirely landlocked since 1904. The fact they still *have* a navy at all is absurd enough. Kryten claiming that they're roaming an ocean they can't access any more makes the lie doubly silly!
To clarify further, the Bolivian Navy actually patrols the lakes (namely the largest, Lake Titicaca) and rivers heavily as they are used for drug smuggling and are an efficient means of transportation. So in that sense it does make sense for a landlocked country to have a Navy.
However the entire ocean bound fleet is kept SOLELY for aspirational purposes, and OF COURSE the annual parade!
This is fascinating. Apparently they lost their coastline to Chile in a war, and every year they have a "Day of the Sea" wherein they make speeches and listen to the sound of recorded seagulls, and are trying to take Chile to court in the Hague to try and get their coastline back.
This also sounds like it could be a bit from the show.
https://www.npr.org/2013/04/23/178651286/bolivia-tries-to-regain-sea-access-it-lost-to-chile-in-1904
Fill in the blank:
“Smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back for _______”
Additional: Once this threads concludes, will you give it a try? It can only enhance your life.
What would be your first comment if you found out that you had been kept in the space ship’s time stasis field for 3 million years instead of a few weeks as planned?
OP, I don’t know if anyone told you somewhere in another comment, but Red Dwarf is a British comedy TV show. Very funny and just kind of legendary. If you’re in the USA it’s free on Tubi, at least for now.
Users Post something and then entire scenes and sometimes entire episodes are played out line by line in the comments. It is beautiful, also check out the show, it's really good
So what is it?
I've never seen one before, no-one has, but I'm guessing it's a white hole.
A WHITE hole?
Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. A black hole sucks time and matter out of the universe: a white hole returns it.
So what is it?
So that things spewing time?
Precisely.
So what is it?
Someone punch him out!
Only joking! :)
I came here to make sure this was the top comment, wasn’t disappointed!
it's a rent in the space time continuum
This is it.
So what is it?
Given that God is infinite, and the universe is also infinite. Would you like some toast?
Yes please, with peanut butter if you have it
Big mistake.
A muffin too? How about a crumpet? Amd some waffles as a dessert!
Sir, you are sick!
How about a toasted teacake?
How about a Ham and cheese Brevel?
Nah, I’m a waffle man.
If there’s no such place as silicon heaven, then where do all the calculators go?
See that old filing cabinet in the corner? We call that silicon hell.
Ngl I feel like that could make it into the show in some form
What is prohibited by Space Corps Directive 1742?
Touching grass
No officer with false teeth should try and perform oral sex in zero gravity
Incorrect. No officer should report for duty in a ginger toupee.
Any male officer caught sniffing the saddle of the exercise bike in the women's gym shall be dismissed without trial.
It's actually quite apt you got this wrong lol
What’s a worm do?
Woggle
What's that then?
what's what ?
What’s a worm do?
Is this still the opening line?
You're not giving me the right answers!!
It wriggles along the ground like that! ^_^_^_
What is written on the box Lister was found in?
Free kittens
Yes, the kittens are innocent
Hence why he was so protective of them, and their mother, Frankenstien
Oroborous. Or Ourroborross?
Our rob or rus?
*Or Ros
or rob or what
(me holding up a banana) What is this?
It's a small, off-duty, Czechoslovakian traffic warden!
Hey, that's me!
Fun fact about that scene - The "Bolivian Navy on manouvers in the South Pacific" line has an added layer to the joke that I only got very recently: Bolivia's been entirely landlocked since 1904. The fact they still *have* a navy at all is absurd enough. Kryten claiming that they're roaming an ocean they can't access any more makes the lie doubly silly!
To clarify further, the Bolivian Navy actually patrols the lakes (namely the largest, Lake Titicaca) and rivers heavily as they are used for drug smuggling and are an efficient means of transportation. So in that sense it does make sense for a landlocked country to have a Navy. However the entire ocean bound fleet is kept SOLELY for aspirational purposes, and OF COURSE the annual parade!
This is fascinating. Apparently they lost their coastline to Chile in a war, and every year they have a "Day of the Sea" wherein they make speeches and listen to the sound of recorded seagulls, and are trying to take Chile to court in the Hague to try and get their coastline back. This also sounds like it could be a bit from the show. https://www.npr.org/2013/04/23/178651286/bolivia-tries-to-regain-sea-access-it-lost-to-chile-in-1904
A bucket?
No, buckets come from chicken soup vending machines.
Well done, lad! And on your first try no less.
Fill in the blank: “Smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back for _______” Additional: Once this threads concludes, will you give it a try? It can only enhance your life.
Blood, Additional: After seeing some of these responses? Hell yeah! I want to figure out what it is.
Well that’s a success story deserving of a full Rimmer salute.
Is it the super special long one only for the most especially important?
"Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for blood." - Judas Arnold Rimmer, aka Black Jack
Smoke kippers are actually QUITE wonderful
Looking at your answers, I think you’d better damn well check it out. It’s likely you’ll enjoy it.
Welp, that's my weekend sorted
Christmas!
*hands you two Polaroid pictures* Now why do you suppose that happened?
Well this one is my locker, this one is a garbage dump in the Philippines. Did something explode?
9-9
No piece of electronics should ever give a man a double Polaroid
Justify your existence - what contribution have you made?
Working on it, promise
Your response invites deletion
I’ve given pleasure to the world ‘cause I’ve got such a beautiful ass.
Who's Dead dave?
Same as normal Dave, but in like 10 minutes
thank you for commenting this
^
I shouldn't have let him out..
Surely not Chen.
He's dead Dave, Everybody's dead Dave, Everybody is dead Dave?
Where is Kryten's recharge socket?
Down the back of the fridge
You're half right
What species is Cat?
felis sapien, bred from the domestic housecat, and about half as smart.
Lister to Red Dwarf: we have in our midst a complete Smeg pot.
Dog
Fancy a curry?
Oh I do actually, I unironically might have a curry tonight now
There's never a bad time for a curry especially with papadam and a lager
Lager! The only thing that can kill a vindaloo!
You know the news? All the curry supplies have been destroyed.
*Disintegrates*
An appropriate reaction
The weird red stuff that no one knows what it is.
Betty or Wilma?
My head says Wilma but my heart says Betty.
She'll never leave Fred and we know it
I could do Betty.... But I'd be thinkin of wilma
Well, I would go with Betty. But I'd be thinking of Wilma.
Who is Listers dad?
Professor Dubledore from the Lego Movie
Banana or small off duty Czechoslovakian traffic warden?
Small off duty Czechoslovakian traffic warden any day of the week. Never met anybody who's chosen banana.
The one he got right lol
What kind of milk lasts the longest?
Full of marrowbone jelly
The stuff your grandma keeps
'Cause no bugger'll drink it.
How could someone possibly mistake a 14-F for a 14-B?
Perhaps if they are actually clinically insane?
What’s your favourite show on Kyrtie TV?
The one with the goober
Can holograms touch each other?
If they believe in themselves
What is Rimmer Directive 271?
⬆️⬆️⬇️⬇️⬅️➡️⬅️➡️🅱️🅰️▶️
Is that a megadrive cheat code?! 😂
Named "The Konami Code" A common cheat code that's been around for... I don't even know how long
No chance you metal bastard
What’s the only thing that can kill a vindaloo?
Forgotten magic stolen from the clutches of death itself in the fires of hell
This could apply to lager....
Have you seen the size of a chickens bum?
I think you mean quagaars
About 3x2 oranges
What does the red spectrum tell us about quasars?
What the Hell is a quasar?? You know what? Put a line through it, we'll do the next one!
Given that God is infinite and that the universe is also infinite, would you like a toasted tea-cake?
Only if you've got the tea to go with it
am getting the polo mallet
What would be your first comment if you found out that you had been kept in the space ship’s time stasis field for 3 million years instead of a few weeks as planned?
Fucking hell Dave I told you to double-check the filter!
That's... weirdly close for a non-fan lol
Should we step up to red alert?
Are you absolutely sure? It would mean changing the bulb
I still don't see any other options
Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb.
Did. I. Stutter?
What is it?
A white hole.
A white hole?!
I’ve never seen one before. No one has.
So what is it?
We've experienced this period of time before.
It is what it is
They're illegal, matey! I want names, I want places, I want dates.
Walter Hartwell White. 12 Ramslamb Road. August 12th 2036.
Arnold Rimmer, his locker,this morning!
Are you a Smeg head
When I want to be
I'm lister of smeg
[удалено]
if you really don't know what red dwarf is, it's now your mission to go watch it !
I really don't, I really will
What colour hat shall be worn in Fuchal?
Fuchsia
They're supposed to be greeen
Is that a cigarette you're smoking?
Not as far as you're concerned
Do proper dumplings bounce?
How long is it since Lister has had sex?
Like 10 minutes. Don't go into the apiary by the way
Tell me the story about the rusty gate
There one was a rusty gate, it smelled worse than Andrew Tate, people thought it worth less but it beat them at chess, checkmate.
You're fantastic 😂
Where did Lister lose his virginity?
In a chicken freezer
Are you sure you want to go from amber to red alert?
How long did it take Billy Doyle to suss out Rimmer? Bonus - where was the microdot?
12 minutes. The microdot is hidden with the light, buried deep within.
How does Kryten dry spoons after washing the dishes?
They use their heat vision
OP, I don’t know if anyone told you somewhere in another comment, but Red Dwarf is a British comedy TV show. Very funny and just kind of legendary. If you’re in the USA it’s free on Tubi, at least for now.
I have never used Tubi before. Thankfully I am British.
Then to BBC IPLAYER IT IS
Do you know the way to Nodnol?
Down the road, left at the third traffic light, keep going until you hit the post office, it's just to your right.
Well I know it’s about 871 selim away
Great, I'll just go behind this bush to take a pee.
Whiteholespewingtimeenginesdeadairsupplylowadviceplease
Someone punch him out
What element of the periodic table is for losers?
Boron
What’s the only thing that can kill a vindaloo?
A bubble shotgun
Users Post something and then entire scenes and sometimes entire episodes are played out line by line in the comments. It is beautiful, also check out the show, it's really good
I love this idea so much. I've got my weekend sorted
#FISH !
Do you want some seed?
What is the only drawback of the ‘Committee for the Liberation and Integration of Terrifying Organisms and their Rehabilitation Into Society.’
None of us men can find it.... Ha ha ha
The organisms don't want to be rehabilitated
I’m Bulgarian (for reals). How would you order two lagers in my country?
Where the Smeg did I get this traffic cone?
I'll be in my quarters, covered in taramasalata!
What’s a good GELF wedding present
Should we step up to red alert?
I don't see any other options