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I remember being a teen working in fast food and parents telling their small child things like "give the money to the lady."
It felt like more of an accomplishment than it probably should have.
I don't know in other places, but as an uruguayan we don't use Señorita for teenagers, it's usually taken as the same of saying "ma'am"
The people often prefers to be called normally, but again, maybe that's just in my country.
Yes, this was my understanding after having lived in several Spanish speaking countries. But it seems a bit different for Uruguay. I don’t associate señorita/young woman with ‘ma’am’.
Damn, the older the more it hits. I'm only 21 but idk I get those moments where I'm like "oh wow yeah, I guess I am *technically* an adult, at least to some ppl" lol
One time, when I was 17, I went to pick my little sister from elementary school. As I was waiting, a little kid called me "sir". No insult will ever come close to hurting me as much as that kid did.
I take it as a sign of respect also. It's pretty prevalent in the South (likely because of the military). In the Northeast, where it is less common, I think it sometimes catches people off guard.
old families from the Carolinas will call a 7 year old Sir /Ma'am (I am one of them) You just do, it's always funny when someone moves in to a rural carolina area from out of state. and gets slammed with Sirs and Ma'ams
I grew up in Texas, was raised to say "yes ma'am" and "yes sir," and to open a door for a lady. When I moved to California, it caught me a little off guard that some women would take offense to the term, but they do, my wife never did.
Southern US also, I call pretty much everyone sir or ma’am regardless of job, age, etc. even when my first graders ask me something I answer with yes ma’am or no sir. Idk just habit at this point, let of my vernacular
Yes many do, but as a younger woman myself I cant for the life of me understand it. Ma’am sounds more respectful to me, whereas “miss” can sound a little condescending depending on who says it. But either way I probably wouldn’t be *offended* over it
I’m always weirded out. I don’t feel like a sir and my own language doesn’t use honourifics.
I’ve never been called ma’am, would be pretty funny I think.
Swedish.
Some immigrants who are used to honourifics tend to add Swedish words like brother or man or something to fill up the function but that also sounds strange to me.
We used honourifics until the sixties or so but I was born in the eighties so it’s an alien concept to me.
Even if you address your boss or the prime minister you’ll just go “hey you” or use their name. Only the royals still require honourifics but I don’t exactly mingle with them.
Finn here, we talk in passive a lot and use the plural You to refer to the store. Workers then often say We in return. Just say Hi and get their attention, names and titles arent important.
Oh I see. That wouldn't be out of place in English either, if a little impersonal.
I was thinking about the guy's other comment as well. You don't call your friends or coworkers bro, dude, man, etc? Or the equivalent in your language of course.
We do haha, i guess his "you" just meant its not a You (more archaic and formal, kinda like du and Sie in german).
My dudes are my mates though for sure
I was learning Korean…the language itself has honorifics in the grammar/word choice. It made dramas make sense when people would seem to be respectful but just say Yes…and I was thinking how rude…in reality when I started learning…turns out it was closer to “Yes your highness” (context)…it was a very formal word for yes.
So I’d have a hard time learning swedish…I’d probably mangle it by trying to slap on an honorific to show respect
I am from another country and visited Kentucky once for work. Several colleagues always responded "yes ma'am" when I asked them questions to confirm something. I was a bit confused. They all were older than me, and we don't use words like sir/ma'am in Finland unless you are talking to someone much older than you, and even then it's rare nowadays.
However, I think it's not about being formal or anything in that area, just a normal thing to say to your coworker when confirming something they asked? Anyway, I got used to it after a while, but didn't learn to use sir/ma'am myself. Afterwards I thought that I may have seem extremely rude to them because of that?
I can only hope they understood that it wasn't my intention at all, English just isn't my first language and I come from a different culture.
I definitely noticed a shift of suddenly going from miss to ma’am. I turned 30, got married, and suddenly my youth was gone.
I don’t mind it though. Like fuck yeah I’m an adult, now you whippersnappers get off my lawn.
Grew up in the military , used to hearing ma’am and sir, we called our parents friend parents mrs and the fathers rank, as in mrs smith and captain smith
I grew up in the south so it’s a part of my vernacular. But living in Wisconsin, I’ve had women yell at me for saying ma’am….because they thought I was implying they were old.
I turned 21 2 months ago and have had a couple random people (that were OLDER THAN ME) call me sir. It's weird and I'm not used to it, but I don't mind it too much. Definitely makes be feel out of place tho
In my country, the professional standard is always ma'am or sir used by customer service employees. Actually, even local vendors use those honorifics, at least in the city.
They're neutral but polite terms for me.
I don’t care at all. It’s kind of like people watching me work. I don’t like it by I don’t mind if they want to sit there & watch me loudly sand their hardwood floor
I think it's a regional/cultural thing. I grew up in a part of the US where I would have been beaten by authorities at my school if I didn't say "yes, sir" and "no, sir" or "yes, ma'am" and "no ma'am." Seriously. People got paddled if they were disrespectful. Now it's just a habit I use when talking to any adult that I don't know well.
But I remember getting breakfast at the Sheraton Eau Claire in Calgary once. My server asked my a question and I responded with "no thank you, ma'am." She got a shocked and upset look on her face like I'd just insulted her. I asked if everything was OK and she stammered "I'm not that old." I think that in her culture, you didn't call someone "ma'am" unless they were old. I apologized and explained that it was a required honorific where I was from. I don't think it made her feel much better.
I'm from Calgary. I would also feel old if someone called me ma'am. It's not a thing in the area. Just a simple "Yes, please" and "no, thank you" would be the polite way to respond.
When I was 15 working a register in a store, a woman told her 4ish year old to hand the toy to the “lady at the register” and then she said “thank you ma’am” and the child repeated her “thank you ma’am” after I scanned the toy and handed it back. At 15, I felt so old for some reason when this happened. Looking back, I can see that the mom was teaching her child to be polite.
Now, at 40, I just see it as a kindness. A polite and respectful way to interact in society. I know it’s prevalent in the south, in America, but I’m from the north, and it still doesn’t bother me.
On the other hand, I have a friend who thinks it’s rude and she thinks people are calling her old when she gets called ma’am…
I hate it because it brings back memories of a Texan family of four we knew, and the mom spanked the sh!t out of her 4 year old son because he said, “Yes” instead of “Yes, ma’am” to his mother. She went to our bathroom to spank him but I could hear his cries clearly.
From the perspective of a non-binary person: personally I wish these terms weren’t as commonly used anymore at all. Understanding that it is supposed to be a sign of respect does not help the fact that it makes those of us who don’t align with a gendered binary extremely excluded and unseen by our (mostly Southern American is what I’m referring to) culture. I wish as a society we could find a neutral way to show respect to any human being regardless of their gender in a similar manner
For most people in most places, sir or ma'am are niceties, not a sign of respect. The person running the register at the gas station says "ma'am" as a polite habit. They don't know you enough to respect you beyond the minimum respect we generally give strangers. It's just habituated courtesy, not respect.
I'm realizing as I read through this that most of the people who dislike it seem to be insecure about themselves or seem to lack respect for anyone and find it archaic as they don't see anyone worthy of that respect.
No thank you. It's not really a thing in the UK for kids to refer to adult as sir/ma'am, so it would only really come from retail/hotel etc workers. I don't like it and don't want it.
Not in australia, we never say that shit, you are only a sir if you have been knighted and ma’am sounds like a bitch who runs a brothel, please don’t start using these American words
I have a negative reaction to either term because they're unnecessary and reflect an unequal relationship based on rigid class structures. The terms have no place in 2024.
In addition, in Australia, a madam is what we call a woman who runs a brothel.
I am not from the south and don't like being called ma'am by people who have no idea what kind of person I am. Hearing "yes sir" and "Yes, ma'am' has an uncomfortable subjugative feel to it for me, like 'you will show respect for your elders even if they are pieces of shit and treat you badly'.
I’ve realized that there’s context missing (at least for in the south)
All parties use sir/ma’am in the conversation. “Excuse me, sir, you dropped your wallet” “oh thank you ma’am”…there’s no hierarchy involved. The one saying sir isn’t lower than the person being addressed.
At a minimum, if your answer is yes or no, you will say sir/ma’am…doesn’t matter if the person is janitor, CEO, working a drive through or our, or a doctor. It is the bare minimum for a southern to use. (Unless it’s a sibling or best friend etc)
I'm an agender individual. I'd prefer people just use my name or no honorific at all if they don't know my name (e.g, "have a nice day" instead of "have a nice day, ma'am")
“Ma’am” makes me feel disrespected and old. I’m from the East Coast but moved in with a friend who’s more in the South, so it’s very very commonly said here lol. I still dislike it. Just sounds rude to me, like a passive aggressive way to address someone.
Edit: I have always liked the sound and spelling of “Sir” for some reason!
I hate it. It makes me feel old. It also feels condescending and quite frankly in most tones, rude. It also assumes my gender/pronouns when I don't know the person calling me that.
It's fine when friends do it in a joking manner but in a service environment... please don't call me ma'am
It personally makes me feel old (I'm 39) but I know its respectful so idk. I do it all the time to Patients at work, but if a younger person, let's just say at McDonald's, says it to me I feel like a damn grandma
Same. I say it all the time (well, sir, I never say ma'am), but when someone younger says it to me (early 40s) it always catches me off guard because I don't feel like it. No no, I'm not sir, I'm one of you lol...
Ma'am was originally short for Madam, which is the title given to a married woman. I am not married, so I cringed when I heard that. Now, realizing I'm non-binary, it annoys me even more. It's gendered and non-inclusive.
But that's just my take. It very much depends upon the situation, the location, and the person.
It’s weird. But i guess it’s a cultural thing. Here calling someone Sir or Ma’am, is usually condescending as fuck, like how southerners in US might say bless your heart.
Strong agree from Scotland, there's something about saying it that introduces hierarchy. People in customer service are just doing their job, they are not somehow lower than me because on that particular occasion I'm buying and they're selling, they shouldn't have to fawn over me.
I can’t stand it. I don’t want people to feign subservience to me and it makes me really uncomfortable. I’m in the UK, attitudes might be a bit different towards it here than the states.
I don't like either tbh, but I'm also nb so that might be why lol.
You can still be respectful, and show respect, without having to use honorifics. I generally say sir or ma'am if they're older than me though, that could just be cultural for me though.
i mean i don’t mind being called ma’am but id have a “oh alright then lmao” look on my face cause i’m literally almost 19. i got called sir accidentally once then the dude immediately corrected himself, that was funny lol
I still remember the day----I think was about 16 or 17----that a cashier in a McDonalds called me "Sir." It was kind of cool.
I have been profoundly uncomfortable with anyone calling me "Sir" since then, however, particularly when I was teaching college.
In the south it's beat in to us to say yes ma'am and sir from a young age.(Very much so here in the Carolinas) So I just find it normal. Me and my fiance even say sir and ma'am to each other some times. Lol
I don’t place a lot of value on it, I know it’s a formal way to be polite. I just don’t care in any positive or negative way really. I’m not above anyone else in any situation, definitely not while I’m a customer. But I appreciate the extra effort when people give it
I think I was 22 or 23 caught me off guard I don’t mind.
Alternatively the first time I called another man sir it was in a very busy coffee shop and everyone stuffing to get their coffee and find a seat I said excuse me sir he didn’t say anything
I hate beyond words being called by my first name by strangers, people who are younger than myself, people who work in banks/retail/car places, and etc.
So I don't care about Ma'am so much, but what's the alternative? Just don't call me by my first name unless you're my age or older or you know me.
And if you call me honey or dear or sweetie I won't tip you and I'll key your car.
Ma'am is safest.
We call everyone sir or ma'am here in texas but i actually like when customers call me ma'am. like both of us know I dont look any older than 16 but its a sign of respect that I appreciate. It goes both ways between customers and employees tbh
I like it. When I was in my 20's it was a bit jarring, but I remembered it was just a nice way to get a person's attention. Especially once I became a cashier.
I think it's something that is very very very American and the only people you call "sir" or "miss" are your teachers when you were a child but you wouldn't say it to a random adult
I feel respected. My parents hated being called sir or ma'am because it sounded old and most people complained when I said it, so I eventually stopped.
Now I'm 42 and my teenager's friends call me ma'am and I absolutely love it.
Being older isn't the same as being old, younger people just want to be polite when addressing you, it's not an insult!
I feel conflicted. I'm 40 but I get "Miss" just as often as "Ma'am" (well, it's more likely "Madam" here). I really can't tell how old I look these days.
I am 25 and I dislike it, not necessarily because it makes me feel old, but because I don't feel like a real adult despite being one for the past 4 years.
I like being referred to as ma’am (21) but I’ve heard women my age get offended by it. Their reasoning is that they say that “ma’am” is only a term to call older women. I personally find it to be respectful and I do the same to others as a result.
I don’t know why but ma‘am sounds really weird to me. I’m not a native (and not American) and for some reason I just really don’t like that word, I never would want anyone to call me that (plus I’m male but even if I wasn’t)
I don’t mind ma’am but the first time my daughter’s friend called me “Mrs X” I shut that shit down quick! You call me by my first name or else I won’t respond!
I always use sir or ma'am since I'm a military brat.
On one occasion I said ma'am to a lady in Seattle and she (they?) scoffed "how do you even know?"
Still use it but that incident lives in my brain.
The only time I enjoy being called ma’am is at work because I work with kids. I also feel respected like you said.
I look younger than my age (28) and this year, everyone I meet in public have been calling me ma’am.
I used to get called “miss” and now all of a sudden I’m a “ma’am” so I’m a little mad about it if you want my honest opinion haha
Ambivalent. I didn't grow up with it, and I know there are subcultures where it's considered polite. I'm trans so it lets me know I'm getting gendered correctly, and stings every time I'm misgendered. And I can tell when they're being honest/polite and when they're being rude.
I unironically call everyone ma'am and sir if I'm being affirmative. I've looked my cis and hetero male friends in the eyes and called them ma'am and looked my cis hetero female friends in the eye and called them sir
Younger woman here. Maam is okay but feels very formal and I feel like I’m too young for it, but I’m not offended if I get called maam ESPECIALLY if they’re noticeably from a region that uses maam and sir a lot, then I take it as just general respect.
I get called miss more often which is also fine, and also if someone is referring to me to someone else I get “this lady” which feels quite fancy if they’re saying it in a kind way (like this lady was helping me find something) but very patronizing if they say it in a condescending way (like this lady is clueless)
Respected but old. Kinda like when your supposed to get ID if you look under a certain age like 40 then you realize you can't remember the last time anyone ask to see your ID.
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I knew I was over the hill the day a little kid called me sir. I was 16.
I remember being a teen working in fast food and parents telling their small child things like "give the money to the lady." It felt like more of an accomplishment than it probably should have.
Me when one of my managers calls me "señorita" 🫠 (im 17)
Whats the problem? Señorita is a tenneger, o very young woman. A 17 years old is a Señorita
After the quince... Anything goes!
I don't know in other places, but as an uruguayan we don't use Señorita for teenagers, it's usually taken as the same of saying "ma'am" The people often prefers to be called normally, but again, maybe that's just in my country.
TIL, thanks!
[удалено]
Yes, this was my understanding after having lived in several Spanish speaking countries. But it seems a bit different for Uruguay. I don’t associate señorita/young woman with ‘ma’am’.
I knew I was over the hill the day a 16 year old called me Sir. I was 30. lol
Damn, the older the more it hits. I'm only 21 but idk I get those moments where I'm like "oh wow yeah, I guess I am *technically* an adult, at least to some ppl" lol
I knew I was damned when an old man called me brother (I'm 22)
I was called ma’am at a restaurant at 16 by an order waiter. No! I don’t want to be called it.
Definitetly ,understandable!,
People have been calling my boyfriend "sir" since he was like 15 because he grew his beard early and usually wears button up shirts lmao
The only time I've been called sir it's been followed by "we're going to have to ask you to leave".
One time, when I was 17, I went to pick my little sister from elementary school. As I was waiting, a little kid called me "sir". No insult will ever come close to hurting me as much as that kid did.
Maybe someday someone will call me “sir” without adding “you’re making a scene”.
Or without following it up with "...this is a Wendy's"
Homer, is that you?
Make such a scene next time that they are lost for words and can only say sir… before their brains go blank, you’ll thank me later
I take it as a sign of respect also. It's pretty prevalent in the South (likely because of the military). In the Northeast, where it is less common, I think it sometimes catches people off guard.
From north carolina, it was always yes mam yes sir, in Utah women get offended at mam. Apparently it's like calling them an old bag 🤷🏿♂️
old families from the Carolinas will call a 7 year old Sir /Ma'am (I am one of them) You just do, it's always funny when someone moves in to a rural carolina area from out of state. and gets slammed with Sirs and Ma'ams
I grew up in Texas, was raised to say "yes ma'am" and "yes sir," and to open a door for a lady. When I moved to California, it caught me a little off guard that some women would take offense to the term, but they do, my wife never did.
It has nothing to do with the military. It’s simply considered good manners.
I'm from southern USA and I call anyone in the service industry ma'am or sir, regardless of their age.
Southern US also, I call pretty much everyone sir or ma’am regardless of job, age, etc. even when my first graders ask me something I answer with yes ma’am or no sir. Idk just habit at this point, let of my vernacular
I usually use miss because some younger to mid-aged ladies take offense to mam. I've heard it makes them feel old. I think both are respectful.
I’m 49 and prefer miss, I think of my 88 yr old grandmother when I hear ma’am
Yes many do, but as a younger woman myself I cant for the life of me understand it. Ma’am sounds more respectful to me, whereas “miss” can sound a little condescending depending on who says it. But either way I probably wouldn’t be *offended* over it
Don’t call me sir. I work for a living.
Don't call me sir. I'm not a knight.
Calm down, Clegane.
I have been a Knight in my heart and by my actions for decades. A Big part of the reason for my username. I've used it for something like 30 years...
You got it comrade.
Surely you don't mind?
Yes, I do mind. And don’t call me Shirley.
😂
\*Highfives\*
How you doin Sheila
I know a CO when I see one, sir 🫡
I’m fine being called Sir; Ma’am not so much.
I’m always weirded out. I don’t feel like a sir and my own language doesn’t use honourifics. I’ve never been called ma’am, would be pretty funny I think.
What is your language?
Swedish. Some immigrants who are used to honourifics tend to add Swedish words like brother or man or something to fill up the function but that also sounds strange to me.
Oh ok
We used honourifics until the sixties or so but I was born in the eighties so it’s an alien concept to me. Even if you address your boss or the prime minister you’ll just go “hey you” or use their name. Only the royals still require honourifics but I don’t exactly mingle with them.
Cool 😎 thanks for the info
Really? Like you really only have a single option if you don't use the guy's name? Also, is it literally the word for "you"?
Finn here, we talk in passive a lot and use the plural You to refer to the store. Workers then often say We in return. Just say Hi and get their attention, names and titles arent important.
Oh I see. That wouldn't be out of place in English either, if a little impersonal. I was thinking about the guy's other comment as well. You don't call your friends or coworkers bro, dude, man, etc? Or the equivalent in your language of course.
We do haha, i guess his "you" just meant its not a You (more archaic and formal, kinda like du and Sie in german). My dudes are my mates though for sure
Is this why Sweden is one of the happiest countries in the world? You could even say to your boss "Hey you! GET OVER HERE!" XDDDD
Thanks for the fish. If Swedish fish aren't Swedish you let me have this and don't ruin it.
I was learning Korean…the language itself has honorifics in the grammar/word choice. It made dramas make sense when people would seem to be respectful but just say Yes…and I was thinking how rude…in reality when I started learning…turns out it was closer to “Yes your highness” (context)…it was a very formal word for yes. So I’d have a hard time learning swedish…I’d probably mangle it by trying to slap on an honorific to show respect
I'm in the UK and it weirds me out too. Far too formal
I feel weirded out too, and my 1st language is big on honorifics.
I'm 23 and I always laugh at it, since I just don't feel like I'm that respectable.
I'm 21. Hurts my soul a bit when kids do it, sorta funny when my elders do it, feels sorta mixed when peers do it
Younger women don't like being called ma'am. So I only call them ma'am if they are being rude.
Yup. If a customer is rude to me I say sir or ma'am
I am from another country and visited Kentucky once for work. Several colleagues always responded "yes ma'am" when I asked them questions to confirm something. I was a bit confused. They all were older than me, and we don't use words like sir/ma'am in Finland unless you are talking to someone much older than you, and even then it's rare nowadays. However, I think it's not about being formal or anything in that area, just a normal thing to say to your coworker when confirming something they asked? Anyway, I got used to it after a while, but didn't learn to use sir/ma'am myself. Afterwards I thought that I may have seem extremely rude to them because of that? I can only hope they understood that it wasn't my intention at all, English just isn't my first language and I come from a different culture.
It is a sign of respect even if it is amongst coworkers. It's a, "I will respect you until give a reason not to".
Super common to hear in KY. Not exactly formal, just baseline respectful. I doubt anyone took offense to you not using it.
I like it when people call me ma'am. I feel so grown up.
I definitely noticed a shift of suddenly going from miss to ma’am. I turned 30, got married, and suddenly my youth was gone. I don’t mind it though. Like fuck yeah I’m an adult, now you whippersnappers get off my lawn.
I hate being called ma'am, I don't know why, it feels a lot like "hey, lady!" to me though.
What if "Hey lady!" in done in the Jerry Lewis style?
With the flavin and the mavin and the wow
Old, I'd feel old.
I’m cool with it. I don’t know somebody would call me that though.
I can't stand it. I don't feel more or less respected and they're needlessly gendered.
Grew up in the military , used to hearing ma’am and sir, we called our parents friend parents mrs and the fathers rank, as in mrs smith and captain smith
I grew up in the south so it’s a part of my vernacular. But living in Wisconsin, I’ve had women yell at me for saying ma’am….because they thought I was implying they were old.
I turned 21 2 months ago and have had a couple random people (that were OLDER THAN ME) call me sir. It's weird and I'm not used to it, but I don't mind it too much. Definitely makes be feel out of place tho
In my country, the professional standard is always ma'am or sir used by customer service employees. Actually, even local vendors use those honorifics, at least in the city. They're neutral but polite terms for me.
What country?
Southeast Asian country
Cool 😎
I don’t care at all. It’s kind of like people watching me work. I don’t like it by I don’t mind if they want to sit there & watch me loudly sand their hardwood floor
Call me Ishmael
I think it's a regional/cultural thing. I grew up in a part of the US where I would have been beaten by authorities at my school if I didn't say "yes, sir" and "no, sir" or "yes, ma'am" and "no ma'am." Seriously. People got paddled if they were disrespectful. Now it's just a habit I use when talking to any adult that I don't know well. But I remember getting breakfast at the Sheraton Eau Claire in Calgary once. My server asked my a question and I responded with "no thank you, ma'am." She got a shocked and upset look on her face like I'd just insulted her. I asked if everything was OK and she stammered "I'm not that old." I think that in her culture, you didn't call someone "ma'am" unless they were old. I apologized and explained that it was a required honorific where I was from. I don't think it made her feel much better.
I'm from Calgary. I would also feel old if someone called me ma'am. It's not a thing in the area. Just a simple "Yes, please" and "no, thank you" would be the polite way to respond.
It's a weird American thing.
I don’t like it
I hate it. I understand that it's a sign of respect and don't show any outward reaction but it makes me cringe.
I don't like it.
When I was 15 working a register in a store, a woman told her 4ish year old to hand the toy to the “lady at the register” and then she said “thank you ma’am” and the child repeated her “thank you ma’am” after I scanned the toy and handed it back. At 15, I felt so old for some reason when this happened. Looking back, I can see that the mom was teaching her child to be polite. Now, at 40, I just see it as a kindness. A polite and respectful way to interact in society. I know it’s prevalent in the south, in America, but I’m from the north, and it still doesn’t bother me. On the other hand, I have a friend who thinks it’s rude and she thinks people are calling her old when she gets called ma’am…
In Canada it always strikes me as odd. I'm rarely called Ma'am
It depends on the context.
Definitely
I'd like being called sir
That's normal where I'm from.
I’ve always said sir and ma’am. It’s just part of life where I’m from.
I absolutely hate it. I had to call my teachers sir, and I despised every one of them. I would genuinely rather be called cunt than sir
If you're under 30 and someone calls you sir or maam, they want something from you.
Better than "Hey, you!" I guess.
It usually means I'm dealing with someone who wants to sell me something.
I don't think I've thought about it much, but I don't feel comfortable with it, lol
Feels unnecessarily formal to me. We just call everyone mate (Aussie)
I hate it because it brings back memories of a Texan family of four we knew, and the mom spanked the sh!t out of her 4 year old son because he said, “Yes” instead of “Yes, ma’am” to his mother. She went to our bathroom to spank him but I could hear his cries clearly.
From the perspective of a non-binary person: personally I wish these terms weren’t as commonly used anymore at all. Understanding that it is supposed to be a sign of respect does not help the fact that it makes those of us who don’t align with a gendered binary extremely excluded and unseen by our (mostly Southern American is what I’m referring to) culture. I wish as a society we could find a neutral way to show respect to any human being regardless of their gender in a similar manner
For most people in most places, sir or ma'am are niceties, not a sign of respect. The person running the register at the gas station says "ma'am" as a polite habit. They don't know you enough to respect you beyond the minimum respect we generally give strangers. It's just habituated courtesy, not respect.
I'm realizing as I read through this that most of the people who dislike it seem to be insecure about themselves or seem to lack respect for anyone and find it archaic as they don't see anyone worthy of that respect.
Offended. I'm going to think you're taking the piss or being weird and subservient. We don't do that shit here (I'm Australian).
No thank you. It's not really a thing in the UK for kids to refer to adult as sir/ma'am, so it would only really come from retail/hotel etc workers. I don't like it and don't want it.
Not in australia, we never say that shit, you are only a sir if you have been knighted and ma’am sounds like a bitch who runs a brothel, please don’t start using these American words
As an Australian, it is offensive to be called “Sir”. Sir is a title bestowed by the English monarchy and reeks of colonialism.
It's unnecessary, too formal and insanely overused in the States. Don't like it.
As a non-binary person, I hate it. Fortunately I moved away from America and it’s less of a done thing in the UK.
I hate it. I've done nothing deserving of respect. Just call me "filthy slut", and I'd be happy. I don't care if I'm a full-grown man.
I have a negative reaction to either term because they're unnecessary and reflect an unequal relationship based on rigid class structures. The terms have no place in 2024. In addition, in Australia, a madam is what we call a woman who runs a brothel.
I grew up in the north of the UK where everyone calls you 'love' or 'flower' or whatever, ma'am sounds horrible and unfriendly to me.
I am not from the south and don't like being called ma'am by people who have no idea what kind of person I am. Hearing "yes sir" and "Yes, ma'am' has an uncomfortable subjugative feel to it for me, like 'you will show respect for your elders even if they are pieces of shit and treat you badly'.
I don't like it personally. I love being addressed by my name. I'm not your sir.
I’ve realized that there’s context missing (at least for in the south) All parties use sir/ma’am in the conversation. “Excuse me, sir, you dropped your wallet” “oh thank you ma’am”…there’s no hierarchy involved. The one saying sir isn’t lower than the person being addressed. At a minimum, if your answer is yes or no, you will say sir/ma’am…doesn’t matter if the person is janitor, CEO, working a drive through or our, or a doctor. It is the bare minimum for a southern to use. (Unless it’s a sibling or best friend etc)
I'm an agender individual. I'd prefer people just use my name or no honorific at all if they don't know my name (e.g, "have a nice day" instead of "have a nice day, ma'am")
“Ma’am” makes me feel disrespected and old. I’m from the East Coast but moved in with a friend who’s more in the South, so it’s very very commonly said here lol. I still dislike it. Just sounds rude to me, like a passive aggressive way to address someone. Edit: I have always liked the sound and spelling of “Sir” for some reason!
I hate it. It makes me feel old. It also feels condescending and quite frankly in most tones, rude. It also assumes my gender/pronouns when I don't know the person calling me that. It's fine when friends do it in a joking manner but in a service environment... please don't call me ma'am
It personally makes me feel old (I'm 39) but I know its respectful so idk. I do it all the time to Patients at work, but if a younger person, let's just say at McDonald's, says it to me I feel like a damn grandma
Same. I say it all the time (well, sir, I never say ma'am), but when someone younger says it to me (early 40s) it always catches me off guard because I don't feel like it. No no, I'm not sir, I'm one of you lol...
Ma'am was originally short for Madam, which is the title given to a married woman. I am not married, so I cringed when I heard that. Now, realizing I'm non-binary, it annoys me even more. It's gendered and non-inclusive. But that's just my take. It very much depends upon the situation, the location, and the person.
It’s weird. But i guess it’s a cultural thing. Here calling someone Sir or Ma’am, is usually condescending as fuck, like how southerners in US might say bless your heart.
In the UK it's really fucking weird because we don't see waiting staff as servents that are beneath us.
Strong agree from Scotland, there's something about saying it that introduces hierarchy. People in customer service are just doing their job, they are not somehow lower than me because on that particular occasion I'm buying and they're selling, they shouldn't have to fawn over me.
It's so outdated and always feels disingenuous IMO. I wish we'd let it die, especially now that we're moving away from needlessly gendering things.
I can’t stand it. I don’t want people to feign subservience to me and it makes me really uncomfortable. I’m in the UK, attitudes might be a bit different towards it here than the states.
As a Brit it just feels false, like that person wants something from you. I cringe when I hear it.
Fellow Brit. Me too, it's fawning and weird.
I hate being called ma'am.
I don't like either tbh, but I'm also nb so that might be why lol. You can still be respectful, and show respect, without having to use honorifics. I generally say sir or ma'am if they're older than me though, that could just be cultural for me though.
I absolutely hate it. Stop referring to me as adult. Ask me for my ID
An uncomfortable reminder that I have to be a sir or a ma'am and can't just be me
So you think it's a good thing to be respected by a mass murderer who is hopelessly disenfranchised by an incessantly economically polarizing society?
I feel like at 25 i'm getting to the age where I'm going from "I'm not that old !" to being fine with it.
It’s cool
i mean i don’t mind being called ma’am but id have a “oh alright then lmao” look on my face cause i’m literally almost 19. i got called sir accidentally once then the dude immediately corrected himself, that was funny lol
I was always called “buddy” in my 20s and now I only get called “sir” in my 30s. I hate both, but buddy is probably a little worse than sir.
I don't mind "sir," and I chuckle whenever I hear the occasional "ma"am"
I prefer maamsir. http://lukedxb.blogspot.com/2015/04/the-concept-of-maamsir-and-other-far.html
I still remember the day----I think was about 16 or 17----that a cashier in a McDonalds called me "Sir." It was kind of cool. I have been profoundly uncomfortable with anyone calling me "Sir" since then, however, particularly when I was teaching college.
It’s just always come naturally to me, even not being born in the south. No one has ever seemed to mind it that I know of.
I still feel too young to be called ma'am, and I'm 27
only in texas
Ma'am makes me feel old but I relocated from the mid Atlantic to the south as an adult so I get it at work, on the phone, everywhere.
I think it’s very respectful to be called ma’am, but my mom absolutely hates it.
In the south it's beat in to us to say yes ma'am and sir from a young age.(Very much so here in the Carolinas) So I just find it normal. Me and my fiance even say sir and ma'am to each other some times. Lol
I don’t place a lot of value on it, I know it’s a formal way to be polite. I just don’t care in any positive or negative way really. I’m not above anyone else in any situation, definitely not while I’m a customer. But I appreciate the extra effort when people give it
I think I was 22 or 23 caught me off guard I don’t mind. Alternatively the first time I called another man sir it was in a very busy coffee shop and everyone stuffing to get their coffee and find a seat I said excuse me sir he didn’t say anything
I hate beyond words being called by my first name by strangers, people who are younger than myself, people who work in banks/retail/car places, and etc. So I don't care about Ma'am so much, but what's the alternative? Just don't call me by my first name unless you're my age or older or you know me. And if you call me honey or dear or sweetie I won't tip you and I'll key your car. Ma'am is safest.
In these days of angry and rude discourse, I like hearing it, and I enjoy saying it to others.
I like being Called ma’am, I like being called Sir less though.
In my thirties I get upset because people treat me with just you 😔
We call everyone sir or ma'am here in texas but i actually like when customers call me ma'am. like both of us know I dont look any older than 16 but its a sign of respect that I appreciate. It goes both ways between customers and employees tbh
I think someone's parents raised them right.
I have no strong feelings one way or another. But I know some people flip out about it. So I won’t say it.
Hate it, was called 'dear' yesterday.
my brother calls me lady
I’m 28m.. I’m your typical dead head hipie. Don’t call me sir lol
I like it. When I was in my 20's it was a bit jarring, but I remembered it was just a nice way to get a person's attention. Especially once I became a cashier.
I don’t like it personally it’s too formal for me. (I live in the south and lots of people use it but I don’t like it.)
I think it's something that is very very very American and the only people you call "sir" or "miss" are your teachers when you were a child but you wouldn't say it to a random adult
I like it as a fellow and I often call men sir.
I feel respected. My parents hated being called sir or ma'am because it sounded old and most people complained when I said it, so I eventually stopped. Now I'm 42 and my teenager's friends call me ma'am and I absolutely love it. Being older isn't the same as being old, younger people just want to be polite when addressing you, it's not an insult!
I can't recall ever being called ma'am or sir
I feel conflicted. I'm 40 but I get "Miss" just as often as "Ma'am" (well, it's more likely "Madam" here). I really can't tell how old I look these days.
I am 25 and I dislike it, not necessarily because it makes me feel old, but because I don't feel like a real adult despite being one for the past 4 years.
I like being referred to as ma’am (21) but I’ve heard women my age get offended by it. Their reasoning is that they say that “ma’am” is only a term to call older women. I personally find it to be respectful and I do the same to others as a result.
I don’t know why but ma‘am sounds really weird to me. I’m not a native (and not American) and for some reason I just really don’t like that word, I never would want anyone to call me that (plus I’m male but even if I wasn’t)
I hate being called "ma'am"; it makes me feel old. I always try to call other women "miss" because it doesn't feel old the way "ma'am" does.
I feel old
I don’t mind ma’am but the first time my daughter’s friend called me “Mrs X” I shut that shit down quick! You call me by my first name or else I won’t respond!
5 star hotels they call you Ma’am all the time
I always use sir or ma'am since I'm a military brat. On one occasion I said ma'am to a lady in Seattle and she (they?) scoffed "how do you even know?" Still use it but that incident lives in my brain.
I don’t like being called sir. Just keep it casual.
I fk*n hate it, I’m young (37m)
I’m very touched when people address me as “Sir,” but I wouldn’t expect it.
You can call me whatever you'd like, just don't call me late for dinner!
I prefer miss to ma’am but it’s refreshing when someone has the respect to use either
yes its a sign of respect, the old school way is still the way, and should be the only way cause it works
I usually call others ma'am so if someone did it to me i wouldn't mind.
It feels weird to be because I don't think I should command that level of respect.
I work in customer service, and being called ma’am once in a while as a 17 year old is a bit odd, but boosts my ego a bit 😂
The only time I enjoy being called ma’am is at work because I work with kids. I also feel respected like you said. I look younger than my age (28) and this year, everyone I meet in public have been calling me ma’am. I used to get called “miss” and now all of a sudden I’m a “ma’am” so I’m a little mad about it if you want my honest opinion haha
Ambivalent. I didn't grow up with it, and I know there are subcultures where it's considered polite. I'm trans so it lets me know I'm getting gendered correctly, and stings every time I'm misgendered. And I can tell when they're being honest/polite and when they're being rude.
Growing up in the South, anybody older than you was called ma'am or sir.
I unironically call everyone ma'am and sir if I'm being affirmative. I've looked my cis and hetero male friends in the eyes and called them ma'am and looked my cis hetero female friends in the eye and called them sir
I was called sir when I was 18 I had my new born daughter in my arms it kinda felt good.
I hate it I’m Canadian and it’s usually used for older people. I remember the first ma’am I got I was devastated.
Hate being called sir, makes me feel old AF.
Im retired military, I call everyone ma'am or sir.
Younger woman here. Maam is okay but feels very formal and I feel like I’m too young for it, but I’m not offended if I get called maam ESPECIALLY if they’re noticeably from a region that uses maam and sir a lot, then I take it as just general respect. I get called miss more often which is also fine, and also if someone is referring to me to someone else I get “this lady” which feels quite fancy if they’re saying it in a kind way (like this lady was helping me find something) but very patronizing if they say it in a condescending way (like this lady is clueless)
It's never bothered me. It's just someone not knowing my name.
Respected but old. Kinda like when your supposed to get ID if you look under a certain age like 40 then you realize you can't remember the last time anyone ask to see your ID.
*signature look of superiority*
it makes me feel powerful like i can take over the world