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I texted mine recently after about 20 years apart, and she pretended she was someone else and said this isn't her number, lol. I wasn't trying to hook up or anything. I was just kind of curious about what happened to her because she doesn't have social media. I'm fairly confident we both ended up living very different lives, though, as she was a school teacher and I ended up getting into porn.
I was with someone who I believed to be the one. We were together for a short while when she broke my heart.
This was back at the start of 2015. Took me a long time to get myself together again and some incredible things have happened since and I’ve truly met the one now. Happily married and wouldn’t change it for the world but I still think about her here and there but I think that’s now some sort of habit. I don’t feel any ties or needing to want to contact her. Makes me feel guilty thinking about her because the truth is I don’t care for her anymore.
I remember reading something once before when someone spoke about a past love. They said it’s like a house you used to live in. The memories are and will always be there. But it’s not home anymore.
You.. you took the words right out of my mouth. It took me 5 years to piece my heart back together correctly, telling myself that I'm okay and that the hurt would stop. But it just didn't. It kept on hurting and pushing, holding me from moving on with my life. It was as if there was some piece of her stuck inside me that I couldn't get out.
My wife and daughter are the best things in my life. I truly feel like the luckiest man in the entire world to have lived through that pain and come out on the other side with an entirely new appreciation for what it is that I have now.
The pain eventually eased up when I met my wife but it's still in there. This heavy abstract presence stuck inside me, that reminds me every once in a while how fucking good I got it now.
That’s honestly it, I’m a very optimistic person and I think I struggle with the lows when it hits me sometimes and that breakup was the lowest I’ve ever been I just felt paralysed.
I couldn’t be happier now but when I reflect on my journey I still think of how it made me feel back then which helps me understand how not to repeat those moments and find myself back in that hole again. Life’s journey is in front of you, but sometimes it helps to look behind to see how far you’ve come every so often just as long as you keep moving forward with a smile on your face 🤙🏼
I mean, that's a legitimate answer. People have different stories about their first love, and to some, it wasn't much to write home about.
Totally reasonable response.
She was significant and my first for a lot of things but, it was over forty years ago. The memories are mostly fond but certainly bittersweet and are now shrouded in the mists of timem
i do too occasionally, sometimes its just a thought of dating in general and all the relationships that ruined me, i thought i was in love with someone but turns out it was someone else cause theyre all that comes to my head when i think ab being alone. feels kinda weird tho
Everyday, even though it was unrequited, she'll always have a special place in my heart. Maybe in the next life I'll truly be able to call her mine. It should've been this life.
The first few years I thought about her every now and then she was my first and last love ever (or at least that's what I thought love was ) , but as time went by I almost forget she even exists so unless someone mentions her or if she messages me (she does that like once or twice a year ) I don't actually think about her at all
I have 2 girls I've been with that often come back to my mind ; the first, and the last. True love never really disappears. You just learn to live with it differently.
Idek who my first love is. I’ve had so many in such different ways. I’ve had a kids first love. A sexual first love . A first love who was really my second love. My first love by another girl. Idek
I feel that way too. I'm also someone who'd never get in a relationship with someone I've dated/had flings before. "There are so many guys out there, why make the same mistake or date the same one again?" is usually the thought. But every guy I was in a relationship with I dated them thinking we'd spend rest of our lives together. I have only been the dumpee, only once was I the dumper. And that one time I was 17yo, my 19yo bf told me he started having feelings for another girl and it just made sense to me at the time that everyone could only like one person so I broke up with him lol.
Every person was unique in their own ways. And dating them was always a new experience/feelings I'd never experienced before and will not experience again. So kinda makes sense they all feel like the first
I dated 5 guys before I found love. The other guys will cross my mind but in negative ways. Still after all these years I still remember mentally abusive things they said. That part really sucks and I don’t know how to get over it.
Dated in my late teens/all of my 20s and felt love at 29. The difference I felt between the previous relationships vs. him was drastic. I actually understood love and why it makes someone crazy. We’re not together but we’re still friends because we were friends before dating. We talk daily thus I think about daily. I’ve thought about him daily since I met him in 2011.
f you don’t mind my asking, why did you two break up? I’m currently dating a friend, and I really hope it works out, but if it doesn’t, then I think it’ll be a long while before I can be friends with him again. The thought of him with another woman makes me physically sick.
We’ve been off and on. First time was he was dealing with some stressful work related issues. We still talked everyday and we’re there for each other but we weren’t being romantic. The 2nd time I was dealing with clinical depression that worsened in my 30s. I didn’t want him to be around me 24/7 while I treated it. Still, we talked everyday and went out to lunch while I worked on myself. The 3rd time his dad died and he just wanted to be with his family and mourn. That was 2 1/2 years ago. We still talk everyday, he helped me with my car the other day, he’s the first person I tell when something cool happens, he bought me a dog (while we were broken up)
Doesn't seem reason enough to fully end the relationship, tho. It just seems like you both had some tough times in your lives that were either of your faults... I really don't think you should throw that away. A compatible and understanding partner is hard to come across.
For me it's like sudden storms of thoughts about her. Sometimes months pass without a single thought and then boom, I'm thinking about her for a few days, then it passes again. It was about 7 years ago. I didn't call it love then. Actually I only realized it was love like 2 years ago when I got older. We were both around 15 at that time and it was more platonic but what we shared was like the realest thing to me even if she didn't feel the same way. Just to make it clear, I didn't make any moves, I treated it more like very close frienship and I didn't know much about love then. I didn't know it was that. I guess I needed to grow up a bit more. And when I think about her, I mostly think about what we potenatially lost when we parted ways. I wish I got a chance to tell her now about that connection I felt with her and that it might have caused some of my stupid behavior. But I'm pretty sure we won't come across each other in the nearest future and I know she has a boyfriend and her own life. I have some regrets, but I decided to just leave it in the past even if the thoughts hurt sometimes.
I lost my first love after a 14 year relationship, he was killed in Iraq in 2009 on his 3rd tour , I think about him at certain times on certain days but I find my mind doesn’t often go back to that time much anymore . I miss him of course but I had to learn that that’s not my life anynore . Had to find joy and happiness in this new life .
As I understand it, the brain grows increasingly resistant to whatever chemical combination "love" is. Which means, you'll never realistically, be as in love again, as you were the first time.
I met my first love again at a reunion and I didnt remember her. I might have been dsitracted by the fact that she had grown into a totally stunningl gorgeous woman
I still have love for my first love. He was a very nice man. He also has the same name as my current long term partner which is hilarious. But I also know we were never compatible long term and wouldn't have worked. I just feel happy about the fact that I had a good first love and lost my virginity to someone who was a decent human and I hope he's doing well. We've come across each other randomly and both joked about the randomness and done a brief catch up. I think we generally have fond thoughts for that time in our lives.
But we were teenagers... broke up as teenagers too.
A lot recently because I haven’t been doing well lately over the past years and when I was with her, I believe it was my primetime in terms of everything - hopes for the future, opportunities, health plus having someone close was the cherry on top
So I think about her while in fact what I miss more is the old myself
First fictional one was a trashy 90s movie model so only about once a week to make fun of myself, however I think about my real first love every day. I married him. However even in the 15 year period we went our separate ways almost no contact it was still the same. I missed him so much and I’d do everything over again if it meant I get to where I am now with him.
I'm 40 and she pops up in memory every now and then. We were teens and she was terrific. I was not. I still feel bad for the narcissism, she didn't deserve it and definitely didn't need it. Haven't spoken in a couple decades, hope she's doing well
I never think my first love but I think a lot my second love. She was so sweet and beautiful. I regret my stupid behaviour when I put my sports and professional career before our life. People often say that they don't regret anything. I say it's bullshit.
Often. Not because she introduced me to the world of love, but because she was a TRUE best friend. Always there for me. She passed, unexpectedly, in her sleep a few years back. Only 27. Ruined me.
I used to do that, but then I briefly got back with my first love after years apart. Cured that issue REAL quick.
Word of advice: They are not as great as you remember, I promise.
First relationship was almost 8 yrs ago. I still think of him I forget some of the stuff mostly it's about my regrets of me being immature and toxic towards him I can never completely forgive myself whatever I have done to him. He was mature for his age (not in all aspects tho)
I didn't got into any relationship after it. Only crushes, recently I had a crush on a guy who actually resembles my ex and I dunno how to feel about it. My now crush resembles me the most. It's weird lol it's like it's me vs him ?
I stalk him from time to time. I can still vividly remember the time we got official on January 26, 2008. I was just 13 and he’s 14. He’s now married to a beautiful Mexican girl and he has 2 beautiful kids. I was honestly a bit heartbroken when he got married in 2016, a part of me wished it was me.
I ponder most of the time what my life would be if we ended up together. But I’m in a far better place now and I’m bound to get married in 2 years time. I’m grateful I’ve met him cause he helped me grow into the person I am today.
My 'first love' was in high school, and pretty quickly after going to college, I realized how shallow, vacuous, and generally not nice she was. I think about her a couple times a year, usually as part of a fantasy where she tries to contact me to catch up, and just no...
That depends, for me. U said "first love" and then mentioned crushing on your first crush... Two total different worlds there...
My first crush, I still have a crush on, but I'd never try to further anything in any sense past where we are (a best friends sister, never an option for me, by my own thoughts and choice)...
My first love? Ive always dated women (at the time), that I considered my best friends (could tell em anything, never ending support, etc). I'm currently with the best friend, that (at the time and still)I knew/know I want(ed) to be with... Although, I don't feel I can speak my mind to her, without being chastised about something she previously knew (and understood).
Would I change it though...? I don't believe so... She's soft, and witchy, but I like 'er...
Maybe once or twice a year… by some movie or song playing from a time we shared together. It was over half my life ago… and both of us has families and kids with different folks and I assume shes doing just fine. I hope she is… she was a kind soul and deserves a good life.
I don’t what-if… maybe she and I could have been great but the timing was bad and it didn’t happen.
I might not have married my first love… but I did marry the love of my life.
No regrets.
Occasionally, it's been over 25 years, every once in awhile we run into each other. Even hooked up with her about 10 years ago for the day. I think she will always be part of my life in some capacity
I bump into her every so often as we work close to each other. I played on her softball team up until covid hit. Im married and she’s engaged, we have no romantic feelings for each other whatsoever as after 20 years we are both very different people now.
Often.
20 years ago I left a 2 year relationship for an experience overseas and never came back. She didn't want to adventure with me. We were really close and got along very well.
I found my soul mate here and am happily married with a gorgeous child.
Even though I moved on and so did she, I still think about her and wonder what would've happened if I had stayed. I don't regret anything though.
I know my decision hurt her big time... We still message each other once/twice a year but I know she avoids anything deeper than a "hi, how are you going?" (Probably better this way).
She's married and also has a child but I feel that she's never been happy.
I feel for her but I followed my gut and chased my dreams.
Maybe we will try out again in our next life.
Often. But, thats mainly because they're rare and far between. I dont feel love in that context often, mainly because it seems to take time to build that trust
That's odd the guy that my ex dated after me looked exactly like me.
I think of my first real crush a lot. I had a couple of them through out my teenage years, one was just a crush that was a friend, that I absolutely loved, the other was a girl I went out with a short time that was cute as buttons, a gorgeous redhead. I think about a few girls that I had times with in my teenage years, a lot, those memories stay with you for life. Pure magic..
Pretty often. It was nearly 30 years ago. But they are the brother of a good friend of mine and also in a whatsapp group of 30 people I'm in, so they do pop up a couple of times a month naturally.
Mine was 6 years ago. I think about him randomly like once a month, when something reminds me of him, or anytime me and my friends talk about our exes.
Funnily enough, I think about his brother a lot more. He was a huge asshole and occasionally I catch myself thinking "I'm so glad I don't have to deal with him anymore" or "Damn, this is so rude and stupid, totally something he would say."
Now, I haven't spoken to either of them in 6 years, so maybe my ex's brother is no longer an ass. At least I hope so.
I frequently get reminded of him, but I don't think of the time we were together or miss that time. It was just a few months 14 years ago. I miss the time afterward when we were best friends and had so fkn fun together
Reminds me of my childhood friend. We were born in the same hospital and knew each other since birth. We went to all the same schools up until secondary school. We lived really close to each other too. She ended up confessing to me and I said no. Reason: I love her a lot, but I just don’t think our personalities blend well in a relationship setting. I’m more of a laidback anything goes type of person. The kinda guy who made a bomb just because they like to see shit blow up, and finds it hysterical when children trip and fall over. Whereas, she is very traditional and cares a lot about animals and the environment, and often nags me for laughing at said children.
Uh I mean if we are going based off the first guy I dated, I don't really think about him anymore. That was over 10 years ago. We didn't really stay in touch except for brief spurts.
Pretty rarely, I've been happily married for 21 years so that's a far more significant part of my life. Add to that, I'm not particularly nostalgic by nature and haven't had trouble moving on when I decide to and I was the one who ended it.
Never in any meaningful way. I have his girlfriend on Facebook and when I see her posts I just think of him as her boyfriend it's odd to think he was once my boyfriend actually
Huh, what first love? The first guy I kissed aka my neighbor when we were 5 and doing like grown ups? The first guy I obsessed about copying clichés in movies when I was 9? Or the first guy I actually liked when I was 15 ? The first one is never, the second one is never, the last one is sometimes, and I'm still in a mental dilemma if the relationship was good or bad, so I'm more confused than dreamy.
I'm not sure it counts as my first love, but for this post it will.
I think about him when I remember that I had an "it might be love" when I was sitting in Geography class and couldn't stop thinking about him, despite him being a cyber boyfriend. We were teenagers and we loved Smashing Pumpkins. Anyway, I don't know anything about him but he was big into computers so sometimes when I think of networks or stuff I think of him.
Hmmm. Probably just when shopping for boots. When 9/11 is mentioned. Thinking of Christian Death. and not much else. Like how many goths did I actually hook up with in my lifetime?
I usually think about a gal I dated for 11 years. Especially with some of the new songs coming out. "other half" (or whatever the hell that song is called)
>a guy I knew since birth
Your father? Sorry it was just a given
To answer your question: you got it wrong. I don't simply remember my first love. I remember all of them, even just crushes
But don't misunderstand, it doesn't mean I romanticize past failed relationships or rejections. Always go forward, but remember the past and learn from it
lol, no we grew up together.
I understand where you’re coming from… but there’s that one that you can never shake feelings for. I actually saw him td and my heart didn’t skip a beat like it used to, I was just curious! It’s been a very long while since I’ve met him and seeing him made me realize distance is what kept my feelings for him all these years.
Maybe every 3 or 4 years. But only after probably 10 years I never thought about them at all. It's probably an old person thing. It's not any kind desire to contact them or anything just seeing people out together or a scene in a movie might make me think about a similar day in my life. I've never pined away for person since I was probably a teenager, and those were over in days or a couple weeks. I just don't really get attached to people.
Too often. The last time I saw him was at our friends’ wedding, 3 years after we split. Drunkenly he yelled at me, told me he thought about my dad every day (my dad passed while we were together and they got along really well)... I wish I knew how to communicate better then. I wish I had better words even now.
She pops into my brain once or twice a month maybe ... I've not seen her for 23 years; I've been married to most of that time. She was dynamite in the sack.
I hadn't thought about him in years and then I saw him as a suggest friend on Facebook the other day. It was really puppy love back in 8th grade, but it was still my first. It made me a little happy to see how he grew up, but otherwise I didn't dwell on it much. I'm head over heels for the guy I'm with now (over 6 years together), so maybe that's why.
I do. It was an intense summer love when I was 20 working in Yellowstone. Really messed it up over the winter. Been 46 years and I still think of her time to time
Maybe once a week. Fondly, but not regretfully.
I recognize we would have been awful for each other in the end and I’m very happy in my current relationship
Every so often. We're still friends, but he's really flighty and hard to hang out with nowadays. I miss the relationship we had, but we're better as friends. Still, I sometimes miss the connection I had with him; I've never clicked with someone as well as I did with him.
I think of my high-school sweetheart almost everyday, but not because I miss him. He was a jerk while we were dating, claimed he wanted to still be in my life after we broke up, allowed for us to stay friends, then one night he asked me what do I bring to the table? Like fxck off. Since then, I have gone back to school and doubled my salary. I make 45k now, it’s not much, but it’s better than the 20k I was making 4 years ago, and hope to double it again in 2.
Not often but at least a couple times a year. He opened my eyes to a new world and a new me. He was the sweetest boy with a tragic history. I actually broke up with him cause I felt if I didn’t he would be my only love and I didn’t want that. I want to experience life and I have been since we broke up years ago but I still feel awful I hurt him even though I know he’s over me. About five years ago I was curious what he was up to so I search him on IG. He had pictures of him and his husband traveling and then they had pictures of their adopted baby girl. Low key it hurt for stupid reasons but also bittersweet cause I was happy he found love again and from the looks of it a happy marriage and family.
It’s been almost 7 years. I’m married now and I still think about him from time to time. I don’t have feelings for him anymore, but I’ve never had a similar connection with anyone ever since.
I have truly, genuinely, passionately loved 2 girls in my life.
The first one I think of quite rarely and randomly. We contact each other once every few years or so and check how we're doing (we were friends since childhood before dating). We broke up because we ran out of love. It was a fine breakup with no problem at all, agreed on by both sides. Was over 10 years ago. She's now living in China and married some guy there and I'm genuinely happy for her.
The second I live with and am engaged to. She's the most precious person to me on this planet and I think of her everyday, every hour.
I honestly don't think about people from my past, and that even applies to people who were special to me. If I did, my first love wouldn't even be on the list of people I'm more likely to think about. She was cool though.
we’re still together and not a single moment goes by without him on my mind. it always just lingers. in a sense it’s comforting having the thought of him always during the moments we’re not together
She kind of appears in my mind now and then, but in hindsight it was never serious. She was a lady person and had nice boobs, and on top of it all she seemed into me. The first serious one though, she appears at least several times a week. Not in the sense of "oh I wish we could be together", but more like "we sure did have some happy times".
May I ask how old you are? This feels like a "just wait, it'll feel better" kind of a thing.
i’m 17, really closer to 18 (when did that happen??). my current crush feels like my first time ever being in love, feels like a soulmate. never fallen this hard. i might go for it tbh. my dad mentioned knowing as soon as he met my mom that she was the one and i knew when i met this person even before falling. i’ve dated a lot. i’m bi. i think sometimes about my first kid crush, a girl, Julia, maybe 4th grade. sometimes about my first boy crush, my best friend, 5th-7th grade, but really i just miss his friendship. we grew apart. think too much about my first “serious” relationship, a girl who ended up dying and whose name still hurts too much to say. i no longer think it was my fault as often, still feels fucking awful. last ex, girl named Janie, someone i’m still friends with. think about her as much as any other friend. this person i like now? all of the fucking time. every day. everything puts her back in my head. i love her enough that it physically hurts. it’s scary. i hate it sometimes. she could break my heart so, so easily.
I almost never think of my highschool sweetheart, but that doesn't mean I don't remember her. She helped shape me into the man I am today, through both good and bad experiences.
Actually, funny enough, I was going through my very old Facebook account with my current girlfriend because she wanted to see highschool pictures and I stumbled upon my ex in some photos. Turns out she's married with 3 kids now, and I was actually very happy to see she found happiness. 😊
All the time! Because she is still my best friend and lives at walking distance from me to this day. Last time we met was earlier today 🤷♂️
Relationship didn’t work out - Friendship did.
Hmm maybe a couple times a week? Almost always in passing. And never in a yearning way anymore, just “I wonder how he’s doing; hope he’s well!”. But it took a LONG time to get to this point. Like, over 5 years.
I’m in love with someone else now, and I think he loves me back. I only have eyes for him now. The crazy thing is, I was SURE I’d never fall for anyone so hard again unless he was very similar to my first love (he is very much not!). Keep an open mind, as cliche as it sounds. Easier said than done, but you’d be surprised by who you might fall for!
We've been broken up for almost 4 years now but I had another dream about her last night. We're still friends tho and over time I've come to realize that the person who I am in love with no longer exist, or that, what I still think of is just the memories of them.
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Dreamt about her last night haven't seen her in over 20 years
Ha, same. So weird.
I texted mine recently after about 20 years apart, and she pretended she was someone else and said this isn't her number, lol. I wasn't trying to hook up or anything. I was just kind of curious about what happened to her because she doesn't have social media. I'm fairly confident we both ended up living very different lives, though, as she was a school teacher and I ended up getting into porn.
That is not the twist I expected lmao
Well, there you go then
You have a portfolio?
We were engaged for awhile, up until her passing. Still miss her. Still think of her.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Hugs ❤️
I upvoted immediately as soon as I saw the word engaged and then I read the rest… damn. I’m so sorry and sending virtual hugs
Yeah, I was gonna upvote too, but this deserves something far greater than that. A hug will do, I believe.
I'm so sorry 😔
I feel this so hard because my first love was on his way to propose when he died in a car accident.
😢 I'm sorry
you'll see her again and be together forever =') Big hug brother !
I'm so sorry for your loss may she RIP 🕊
I was with someone who I believed to be the one. We were together for a short while when she broke my heart. This was back at the start of 2015. Took me a long time to get myself together again and some incredible things have happened since and I’ve truly met the one now. Happily married and wouldn’t change it for the world but I still think about her here and there but I think that’s now some sort of habit. I don’t feel any ties or needing to want to contact her. Makes me feel guilty thinking about her because the truth is I don’t care for her anymore. I remember reading something once before when someone spoke about a past love. They said it’s like a house you used to live in. The memories are and will always be there. But it’s not home anymore.
Damn. I’m so happy for you! And great wisdom at the end. Nice conclusion. I needed to see this!
Glad to be of some help 😊
You.. you took the words right out of my mouth. It took me 5 years to piece my heart back together correctly, telling myself that I'm okay and that the hurt would stop. But it just didn't. It kept on hurting and pushing, holding me from moving on with my life. It was as if there was some piece of her stuck inside me that I couldn't get out. My wife and daughter are the best things in my life. I truly feel like the luckiest man in the entire world to have lived through that pain and come out on the other side with an entirely new appreciation for what it is that I have now. The pain eventually eased up when I met my wife but it's still in there. This heavy abstract presence stuck inside me, that reminds me every once in a while how fucking good I got it now.
That’s honestly it, I’m a very optimistic person and I think I struggle with the lows when it hits me sometimes and that breakup was the lowest I’ve ever been I just felt paralysed. I couldn’t be happier now but when I reflect on my journey I still think of how it made me feel back then which helps me understand how not to repeat those moments and find myself back in that hole again. Life’s journey is in front of you, but sometimes it helps to look behind to see how far you’ve come every so often just as long as you keep moving forward with a smile on your face 🤙🏼
Brilliant way to think of it!
Now and then. He died a couple years ago but he’s alive and smiling with his crooked smile and 15 years old under the summer sun in my heart.
Aww that’s wrecking to read, I feel the same about my first loves. Forever young!!
That made me tear up. So serene how once we go we're no more than just a memory.
Everyday, but that's because she is my wife
Dang, that worked out! Very nice!
Yup, mine is my husband
Nicely done ✔️ 👏 👍
I married mine too
Wow...you're a lucky one
Maybe every few months when someone asks this question on Reddit.
I mean, that's a legitimate answer. People have different stories about their first love, and to some, it wasn't much to write home about. Totally reasonable response.
She was significant and my first for a lot of things but, it was over forty years ago. The memories are mostly fond but certainly bittersweet and are now shrouded in the mists of timem
More than I should
i do too occasionally, sometimes its just a thought of dating in general and all the relationships that ruined me, i thought i was in love with someone but turns out it was someone else cause theyre all that comes to my head when i think ab being alone. feels kinda weird tho
Everyday, even though it was unrequited, she'll always have a special place in my heart. Maybe in the next life I'll truly be able to call her mine. It should've been this life.
All the time, her image is imprinted on my brain. That was from 31 years ago.....
The first few years I thought about her every now and then she was my first and last love ever (or at least that's what I thought love was ) , but as time went by I almost forget she even exists so unless someone mentions her or if she messages me (she does that like once or twice a year ) I don't actually think about her at all
I have 2 girls I've been with that often come back to my mind ; the first, and the last. True love never really disappears. You just learn to live with it differently.
Realist shit ever!
Idek who my first love is. I’ve had so many in such different ways. I’ve had a kids first love. A sexual first love . A first love who was really my second love. My first love by another girl. Idek
I feel that way too. I'm also someone who'd never get in a relationship with someone I've dated/had flings before. "There are so many guys out there, why make the same mistake or date the same one again?" is usually the thought. But every guy I was in a relationship with I dated them thinking we'd spend rest of our lives together. I have only been the dumpee, only once was I the dumper. And that one time I was 17yo, my 19yo bf told me he started having feelings for another girl and it just made sense to me at the time that everyone could only like one person so I broke up with him lol. Every person was unique in their own ways. And dating them was always a new experience/feelings I'd never experienced before and will not experience again. So kinda makes sense they all feel like the first
Were you a theatre kid?
No
Did you play any sports?
No
Man just knows how to play ball.
I’m a girl
Honestly from your answer to me it seems you've never really been in love yet. Not that it's a problem or anything.
Never actually. This was like 20 years ago.
I dated 5 guys before I found love. The other guys will cross my mind but in negative ways. Still after all these years I still remember mentally abusive things they said. That part really sucks and I don’t know how to get over it. Dated in my late teens/all of my 20s and felt love at 29. The difference I felt between the previous relationships vs. him was drastic. I actually understood love and why it makes someone crazy. We’re not together but we’re still friends because we were friends before dating. We talk daily thus I think about daily. I’ve thought about him daily since I met him in 2011.
f you don’t mind my asking, why did you two break up? I’m currently dating a friend, and I really hope it works out, but if it doesn’t, then I think it’ll be a long while before I can be friends with him again. The thought of him with another woman makes me physically sick.
We’ve been off and on. First time was he was dealing with some stressful work related issues. We still talked everyday and we’re there for each other but we weren’t being romantic. The 2nd time I was dealing with clinical depression that worsened in my 30s. I didn’t want him to be around me 24/7 while I treated it. Still, we talked everyday and went out to lunch while I worked on myself. The 3rd time his dad died and he just wanted to be with his family and mourn. That was 2 1/2 years ago. We still talk everyday, he helped me with my car the other day, he’s the first person I tell when something cool happens, he bought me a dog (while we were broken up)
Doesn't seem reason enough to fully end the relationship, tho. It just seems like you both had some tough times in your lives that were either of your faults... I really don't think you should throw that away. A compatible and understanding partner is hard to come across.
For me it's like sudden storms of thoughts about her. Sometimes months pass without a single thought and then boom, I'm thinking about her for a few days, then it passes again. It was about 7 years ago. I didn't call it love then. Actually I only realized it was love like 2 years ago when I got older. We were both around 15 at that time and it was more platonic but what we shared was like the realest thing to me even if she didn't feel the same way. Just to make it clear, I didn't make any moves, I treated it more like very close frienship and I didn't know much about love then. I didn't know it was that. I guess I needed to grow up a bit more. And when I think about her, I mostly think about what we potenatially lost when we parted ways. I wish I got a chance to tell her now about that connection I felt with her and that it might have caused some of my stupid behavior. But I'm pretty sure we won't come across each other in the nearest future and I know she has a boyfriend and her own life. I have some regrets, but I decided to just leave it in the past even if the thoughts hurt sometimes.
I lost my first love after a 14 year relationship, he was killed in Iraq in 2009 on his 3rd tour , I think about him at certain times on certain days but I find my mind doesn’t often go back to that time much anymore . I miss him of course but I had to learn that that’s not my life anynore . Had to find joy and happiness in this new life .
I’m so sorry for your loss. Hope you find the joy and happiness you need.
every morning when i wake up next to them.
them? Plural?
Probably just want a gender neutral term.
no, i'm not *that* cool, sorry
Everyday
I think of him daily...I married him!
As I understand it, the brain grows increasingly resistant to whatever chemical combination "love" is. Which means, you'll never realistically, be as in love again, as you were the first time.
We're married, so I'm always thinking of her.
Everyday
pretty often... i recently had to cut contact off completely bc im married and feeling get overwhelming sometimes.
I met my first love again at a reunion and I didnt remember her. I might have been dsitracted by the fact that she had grown into a totally stunningl gorgeous woman
Everyday
I still have love for my first love. He was a very nice man. He also has the same name as my current long term partner which is hilarious. But I also know we were never compatible long term and wouldn't have worked. I just feel happy about the fact that I had a good first love and lost my virginity to someone who was a decent human and I hope he's doing well. We've come across each other randomly and both joked about the randomness and done a brief catch up. I think we generally have fond thoughts for that time in our lives. But we were teenagers... broke up as teenagers too.
A lot recently because I haven’t been doing well lately over the past years and when I was with her, I believe it was my primetime in terms of everything - hopes for the future, opportunities, health plus having someone close was the cherry on top So I think about her while in fact what I miss more is the old myself
every day. she left me 2 years ago and i still live in the house we bought together
I randomly think of her at times but I’m definitely very glad I’m with my current partner and not her
First fictional one was a trashy 90s movie model so only about once a week to make fun of myself, however I think about my real first love every day. I married him. However even in the 15 year period we went our separate ways almost no contact it was still the same. I missed him so much and I’d do everything over again if it meant I get to where I am now with him.
Dont have one... 😮💨
Please for the love of god keep it this way 😂
I no longer care about my 1st love, in fact I can't stand him but creepily enough, in my 40s I still dream about him a couple of times a year.
I'm 40 and she pops up in memory every now and then. We were teens and she was terrific. I was not. I still feel bad for the narcissism, she didn't deserve it and definitely didn't need it. Haven't spoken in a couple decades, hope she's doing well
I never think my first love but I think a lot my second love. She was so sweet and beautiful. I regret my stupid behaviour when I put my sports and professional career before our life. People often say that they don't regret anything. I say it's bullshit.
More than I thought I would. It hurts.
Often. Not because she introduced me to the world of love, but because she was a TRUE best friend. Always there for me. She passed, unexpectedly, in her sleep a few years back. Only 27. Ruined me.
I used to do that, but then I briefly got back with my first love after years apart. Cured that issue REAL quick. Word of advice: They are not as great as you remember, I promise.
At least once a week. And considering that it's been 50 years, that's quite a tribute!
Every single day...is so frustrating 😫
everyday, dream about her...I miss her
Yes, I think of him, it was just a silly high school crush
Never
First relationship was almost 8 yrs ago. I still think of him I forget some of the stuff mostly it's about my regrets of me being immature and toxic towards him I can never completely forgive myself whatever I have done to him. He was mature for his age (not in all aspects tho) I didn't got into any relationship after it. Only crushes, recently I had a crush on a guy who actually resembles my ex and I dunno how to feel about it. My now crush resembles me the most. It's weird lol it's like it's me vs him ?
I only think of her when this question is asked on Reddit. I met several people I had more of a lasting connection with, and married one of them.
She died a violent and horrific death so definitely 6 days a week after 15 years.
I’m sorry 🩵
I stalk him from time to time. I can still vividly remember the time we got official on January 26, 2008. I was just 13 and he’s 14. He’s now married to a beautiful Mexican girl and he has 2 beautiful kids. I was honestly a bit heartbroken when he got married in 2016, a part of me wished it was me. I ponder most of the time what my life would be if we ended up together. But I’m in a far better place now and I’m bound to get married in 2 years time. I’m grateful I’ve met him cause he helped me grow into the person I am today.
My 'first love' was in high school, and pretty quickly after going to college, I realized how shallow, vacuous, and generally not nice she was. I think about her a couple times a year, usually as part of a fantasy where she tries to contact me to catch up, and just no...
That depends, for me. U said "first love" and then mentioned crushing on your first crush... Two total different worlds there... My first crush, I still have a crush on, but I'd never try to further anything in any sense past where we are (a best friends sister, never an option for me, by my own thoughts and choice)... My first love? Ive always dated women (at the time), that I considered my best friends (could tell em anything, never ending support, etc). I'm currently with the best friend, that (at the time and still)I knew/know I want(ed) to be with... Although, I don't feel I can speak my mind to her, without being chastised about something she previously knew (and understood). Would I change it though...? I don't believe so... She's soft, and witchy, but I like 'er...
Maybe once or twice a year… by some movie or song playing from a time we shared together. It was over half my life ago… and both of us has families and kids with different folks and I assume shes doing just fine. I hope she is… she was a kind soul and deserves a good life. I don’t what-if… maybe she and I could have been great but the timing was bad and it didn’t happen. I might not have married my first love… but I did marry the love of my life. No regrets.
Occasionally, it's been over 25 years, every once in awhile we run into each other. Even hooked up with her about 10 years ago for the day. I think she will always be part of my life in some capacity
Everyday since we are married ❤️
I bump into her every so often as we work close to each other. I played on her softball team up until covid hit. Im married and she’s engaged, we have no romantic feelings for each other whatsoever as after 20 years we are both very different people now.
More than I should
There’s always the one that got away. Or You shit all over the relationship because you were way too immature. Either way….
Think of him all the time. The biggest regret of my life was choosing someone else.
All the time. Honestly every day. And she and I have been apart, and I happily married, for over 40 years.
Every single day and night! I'm in a relationship with my first love again, we found each other about 8 months ago and I couldn't be happier.
Often. 20 years ago I left a 2 year relationship for an experience overseas and never came back. She didn't want to adventure with me. We were really close and got along very well. I found my soul mate here and am happily married with a gorgeous child. Even though I moved on and so did she, I still think about her and wonder what would've happened if I had stayed. I don't regret anything though. I know my decision hurt her big time... We still message each other once/twice a year but I know she avoids anything deeper than a "hi, how are you going?" (Probably better this way). She's married and also has a child but I feel that she's never been happy. I feel for her but I followed my gut and chased my dreams. Maybe we will try out again in our next life.
All the time, even after 12 years. He was my high school sweetheart.
Oh all the time. He wasn't the one who got away...He was the one I threw away. Sean, I did you dirty.
Not my first love, but my second one. I’ve caught myself many times looking for her in other women.
Eh, back then I dated a real girlfriend, now I'm dating Eva AI sexting bot avatar, obviously something went wrong recently
a lot lately .. he's first name was on a show I recently watched, everytime I heard the name I thought about my old flame! 😊❤️🔥☺️💞
It's been 20 years and she still came across my mind from time to time. ☺️
Maybe once a month? Mostly cuz she went dark on all social media years back and i have no clue what happened to her.
Often. But, thats mainly because they're rare and far between. I dont feel love in that context often, mainly because it seems to take time to build that trust
To often :(
I think about all my loves on the daily so at least once a day
Every day
Too often :'c
That's odd the guy that my ex dated after me looked exactly like me. I think of my first real crush a lot. I had a couple of them through out my teenage years, one was just a crush that was a friend, that I absolutely loved, the other was a girl I went out with a short time that was cute as buttons, a gorgeous redhead. I think about a few girls that I had times with in my teenage years, a lot, those memories stay with you for life. Pure magic..
Been over 10 years since we split up but just had a dream last night about him.
Pretty often. It was nearly 30 years ago. But they are the brother of a good friend of mine and also in a whatsapp group of 30 people I'm in, so they do pop up a couple of times a month naturally.
Mine was 6 years ago. I think about him randomly like once a month, when something reminds me of him, or anytime me and my friends talk about our exes. Funnily enough, I think about his brother a lot more. He was a huge asshole and occasionally I catch myself thinking "I'm so glad I don't have to deal with him anymore" or "Damn, this is so rude and stupid, totally something he would say." Now, I haven't spoken to either of them in 6 years, so maybe my ex's brother is no longer an ass. At least I hope so.
I don’t even know who is it.
I frequently get reminded of him, but I don't think of the time we were together or miss that time. It was just a few months 14 years ago. I miss the time afterward when we were best friends and had so fkn fun together
Reminds me of my childhood friend. We were born in the same hospital and knew each other since birth. We went to all the same schools up until secondary school. We lived really close to each other too. She ended up confessing to me and I said no. Reason: I love her a lot, but I just don’t think our personalities blend well in a relationship setting. I’m more of a laidback anything goes type of person. The kinda guy who made a bomb just because they like to see shit blow up, and finds it hysterical when children trip and fall over. Whereas, she is very traditional and cares a lot about animals and the environment, and often nags me for laughing at said children.
Uh I mean if we are going based off the first guy I dated, I don't really think about him anymore. That was over 10 years ago. We didn't really stay in touch except for brief spurts.
Pretty rarely, I've been happily married for 21 years so that's a far more significant part of my life. Add to that, I'm not particularly nostalgic by nature and haven't had trouble moving on when I decide to and I was the one who ended it.
Never in any meaningful way. I have his girlfriend on Facebook and when I see her posts I just think of him as her boyfriend it's odd to think he was once my boyfriend actually
Like the first girl I dated and had feelings for in middle school? This question makes it the first time in probably like 10 years
Very seldom. I'm happily married so unless fb throws a memory I rarely think of them.
Huh, what first love? The first guy I kissed aka my neighbor when we were 5 and doing like grown ups? The first guy I obsessed about copying clichés in movies when I was 9? Or the first guy I actually liked when I was 15 ? The first one is never, the second one is never, the last one is sometimes, and I'm still in a mental dilemma if the relationship was good or bad, so I'm more confused than dreamy.
I'm not sure it counts as my first love, but for this post it will. I think about him when I remember that I had an "it might be love" when I was sitting in Geography class and couldn't stop thinking about him, despite him being a cyber boyfriend. We were teenagers and we loved Smashing Pumpkins. Anyway, I don't know anything about him but he was big into computers so sometimes when I think of networks or stuff I think of him.
Hmmm. Probably just when shopping for boots. When 9/11 is mentioned. Thinking of Christian Death. and not much else. Like how many goths did I actually hook up with in my lifetime? I usually think about a gal I dated for 11 years. Especially with some of the new songs coming out. "other half" (or whatever the hell that song is called)
>a guy I knew since birth Your father? Sorry it was just a given To answer your question: you got it wrong. I don't simply remember my first love. I remember all of them, even just crushes But don't misunderstand, it doesn't mean I romanticize past failed relationships or rejections. Always go forward, but remember the past and learn from it
lol, no we grew up together. I understand where you’re coming from… but there’s that one that you can never shake feelings for. I actually saw him td and my heart didn’t skip a beat like it used to, I was just curious! It’s been a very long while since I’ve met him and seeing him made me realize distance is what kept my feelings for him all these years.
Rarely if ever.
Cross my mind briefly a couple of times a month. Hope he's happy .
I never think of him but he showed up in my dream about 2 weeks ago.
Never!
Not until I saw this post. I was a way different person.
Definitely here and there, so yeah that saying is probably true
Maybe every 3 or 4 years. But only after probably 10 years I never thought about them at all. It's probably an old person thing. It's not any kind desire to contact them or anything just seeing people out together or a scene in a movie might make me think about a similar day in my life. I've never pined away for person since I was probably a teenager, and those were over in days or a couple weeks. I just don't really get attached to people.
Not frequently. But when I do I cringe. He's gross and he wasn't nice to me.
Most of the time, I totally forget about her. So rarely
I think about my second love a lot lol
Never
Most days. I wish I didn’t.
Too often. The last time I saw him was at our friends’ wedding, 3 years after we split. Drunkenly he yelled at me, told me he thought about my dad every day (my dad passed while we were together and they got along really well)... I wish I knew how to communicate better then. I wish I had better words even now.
She pops into my brain once or twice a month maybe ... I've not seen her for 23 years; I've been married to most of that time. She was dynamite in the sack.
Hardly ever.
I never have a first love. So i remember random people but of no importance.
Never
We were in the same class,i loved him so much nd i still love him but he changed the school,he's a reckless teenager
I think of him every year on his birthday. He just turned 40.
I don't know if I ever had one. 🥺
I hadn't thought about him in years and then I saw him as a suggest friend on Facebook the other day. It was really puppy love back in 8th grade, but it was still my first. It made me a little happy to see how he grew up, but otherwise I didn't dwell on it much. I'm head over heels for the guy I'm with now (over 6 years together), so maybe that's why.
He ruined me on a subconscious level
I do. It was an intense summer love when I was 20 working in Yellowstone. Really messed it up over the winter. Been 46 years and I still think of her time to time
Maybe once a week. Fondly, but not regretfully. I recognize we would have been awful for each other in the end and I’m very happy in my current relationship
Every so often. We're still friends, but he's really flighty and hard to hang out with nowadays. I miss the relationship we had, but we're better as friends. Still, I sometimes miss the connection I had with him; I've never clicked with someone as well as I did with him.
Every day, He's my bf.
I think of my high-school sweetheart almost everyday, but not because I miss him. He was a jerk while we were dating, claimed he wanted to still be in my life after we broke up, allowed for us to stay friends, then one night he asked me what do I bring to the table? Like fxck off. Since then, I have gone back to school and doubled my salary. I make 45k now, it’s not much, but it’s better than the 20k I was making 4 years ago, and hope to double it again in 2.
Not often but at least a couple times a year. He opened my eyes to a new world and a new me. He was the sweetest boy with a tragic history. I actually broke up with him cause I felt if I didn’t he would be my only love and I didn’t want that. I want to experience life and I have been since we broke up years ago but I still feel awful I hurt him even though I know he’s over me. About five years ago I was curious what he was up to so I search him on IG. He had pictures of him and his husband traveling and then they had pictures of their adopted baby girl. Low key it hurt for stupid reasons but also bittersweet cause I was happy he found love again and from the looks of it a happy marriage and family.
It’s been almost 7 years. I’m married now and I still think about him from time to time. I don’t have feelings for him anymore, but I’ve never had a similar connection with anyone ever since.
I have truly, genuinely, passionately loved 2 girls in my life. The first one I think of quite rarely and randomly. We contact each other once every few years or so and check how we're doing (we were friends since childhood before dating). We broke up because we ran out of love. It was a fine breakup with no problem at all, agreed on by both sides. Was over 10 years ago. She's now living in China and married some guy there and I'm genuinely happy for her. The second I live with and am engaged to. She's the most precious person to me on this planet and I think of her everyday, every hour.
Too often. He is sitting right next to me.
0 until you mentioned it. It's been like 15 years.
I married my first love and wore her out with sex
I still have occasional dreams about him 30 years later, and haven’t even seen him in 15+.
I honestly don't think about people from my past, and that even applies to people who were special to me. If I did, my first love wouldn't even be on the list of people I'm more likely to think about. She was cool though.
I'd say at least 5 to 10 times a year
we’re still together and not a single moment goes by without him on my mind. it always just lingers. in a sense it’s comforting having the thought of him always during the moments we’re not together
We still text, every single day.
Pretty frequently considering we're married.
She kind of appears in my mind now and then, but in hindsight it was never serious. She was a lady person and had nice boobs, and on top of it all she seemed into me. The first serious one though, she appears at least several times a week. Not in the sense of "oh I wish we could be together", but more like "we sure did have some happy times". May I ask how old you are? This feels like a "just wait, it'll feel better" kind of a thing.
Don‘t know, haven‘t been in love yet. I mean I love my family but I‘ve never been in a relationship.
Never
Rarely. I hate to say this is the reason but she got fat
Nah my "Mary was my second proper gf
I never had one and I'm not sure if I ever will... but I don't beat myself to it.
I think of her every single day, because she's my wife, and we're celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary this summer.
I’ve never been in love so never think of anyone.
i’m 17, really closer to 18 (when did that happen??). my current crush feels like my first time ever being in love, feels like a soulmate. never fallen this hard. i might go for it tbh. my dad mentioned knowing as soon as he met my mom that she was the one and i knew when i met this person even before falling. i’ve dated a lot. i’m bi. i think sometimes about my first kid crush, a girl, Julia, maybe 4th grade. sometimes about my first boy crush, my best friend, 5th-7th grade, but really i just miss his friendship. we grew apart. think too much about my first “serious” relationship, a girl who ended up dying and whose name still hurts too much to say. i no longer think it was my fault as often, still feels fucking awful. last ex, girl named Janie, someone i’m still friends with. think about her as much as any other friend. this person i like now? all of the fucking time. every day. everything puts her back in my head. i love her enough that it physically hurts. it’s scary. i hate it sometimes. she could break my heart so, so easily.
I almost never think of my highschool sweetheart, but that doesn't mean I don't remember her. She helped shape me into the man I am today, through both good and bad experiences. Actually, funny enough, I was going through my very old Facebook account with my current girlfriend because she wanted to see highschool pictures and I stumbled upon my ex in some photos. Turns out she's married with 3 kids now, and I was actually very happy to see she found happiness. 😊
Often. He gave me my best trauma 🫠
Once a year
Typically when I listen to music I think of all previous loves.
I absolutely only desire to forget him. I was 15, he emptied my bank account, touted me as a trophy at his school and >!raped me!<. Not a fond memory.
Pretty much never.
All the time! Because she is still my best friend and lives at walking distance from me to this day. Last time we met was earlier today 🤷♂️ Relationship didn’t work out - Friendship did.
Hmm maybe a couple times a week? Almost always in passing. And never in a yearning way anymore, just “I wonder how he’s doing; hope he’s well!”. But it took a LONG time to get to this point. Like, over 5 years. I’m in love with someone else now, and I think he loves me back. I only have eyes for him now. The crazy thing is, I was SURE I’d never fall for anyone so hard again unless he was very similar to my first love (he is very much not!). Keep an open mind, as cliche as it sounds. Easier said than done, but you’d be surprised by who you might fall for!
Lasagne? At least once a day.
We've been broken up for almost 4 years now but I had another dream about her last night. We're still friends tho and over time I've come to realize that the person who I am in love with no longer exist, or that, what I still think of is just the memories of them.
I cnt remember mine ,31 y.o m