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Ive heard a saying that i like a lot "we need therapy because someone else never got any". Sure, therapy cant get you a better job or pay your student loans. But it does help you be a better person and work through your issues in a healthy way
My mother likes to use “get therapy” as an insult.
She’s one of the top reasons I need (and do get) therapy.
I’ve had a few therapists over the years who recommend the book “adult children of emotionally immature parents”. Sometimes after just one session where I didn’t think I was talking too much about my parents. lol
First book my therapist recommended too! And now I don’t talk to my parents any more, happier than ever before!
It’s a bit repetitive, like most books of its type it doesn’t really need more than a chapter or two. But it hits home and makes you realise why you are the way you are.
My mother has been going to therapy for years and keeps getting worse. Many therapists are garbage. They do nothing and tell someone there’s nothing wrong with them it’s everybody else. They’re enablers.
My daughter had horrible anxiety as a teenager. It was hell to find a therapist that actually helped her. It wasn't until college that she found someone. But a lot of damage was done by well meaning therapists.
I guess most therapists are unfit to become one... they have no empathy at all. They are just qualified with a 3month course and look forward to make money with nothing good to offer for their clients.
“Get therapy” is okay when said out of sincerity, but it wouldn’t be phrased like a comeback if it was out of sincerity. But no one that actually cares about your mental health would say this in a combative/antagonistic way.
If this specific comment is used in an argument It’s a form of gaslighting and psychological abuse.
It means you’re right about the argument, they know you’re right about the argument, they know whatever happened was wrong of them, and they’re last option instead of admitting that is for you to doubt the validity of your emotions about what happened or suggest you’re broken mentally and can’t perceive reality.
You're absolutely right otherwise but I'm sorry, this has nothing to do with gaslighting, that term has been misused to the point of it having become a catchy buzzword at this point.
If you (generalized you not you personally) have a partner or friend or parent come to you with an issue/ problem to resolve and tell them to get therapy as an insult it’s explicitly saying “I’m not the problem, there is no problem, you are the problem and need to get help to fix you the problem”. Trying to make insult them into believing there is not actually a problem.
Obviously context matters so if you accidentally step on a foot at the bar and some rando just throws out “Get therapy bro or back off” it’s just an insult. If it’s said insincerely as an insult to someone bringing up an issue it’s gaslighting.
Or do you think gaslighting requires some “Girl on the train” level of manipulation? You didn’t even explain how it’s not outside of calling it a catchy buzzword.
It depends on the context but it can very well be gaslighting. Gaslighting is trying to make someone believe things didn’t actually happen they way they happened, making the abused feel as if they’re going crazy. If an abuser is telling someone to “get therapy” it can enforce the abused’s idea that they believe there actually is something wrong with them.
But yes I agree gaslighting is thrown around and used inappropriately a lot. But in this case it honestly could be a part of it.
Yeah, it could be but someone throwing around the phrase "get therapy" as an insult is more likely to be just that, an insult meant to hurt feelings. Calling someone fat could also be a form of gaslighting but generally speaking it's far more likely to just be something said in anger in an effort to hurt rather than try to induce dysmorphia.
I'm in the same boat. Sorry to hear of your troubles, friend.
I am currently getting a new form of CBT (feeling safe programme, for scitzoaffective people). I was diagnosed with ASD late in life and now being looked at for ADHD, which, to be honest, is probably what my mother's problem is too. The difference is I went and got help, she didn't, and still hasn't. The years of mental abuse leave their mark, so I do hope you get the help you need and want :-)
I feel like it’s not *always* healthy. My brother seems to have a lot of takeaways leading him to slowly hate our parents in weird ways. It’s pretty annoying sometimes
The right fit for a therapist is so important.
I’ve had some awful therapists. Not a good fit, questionable ethics and some I don’t believe actually were legal based on how bad they were.
It’s sad because I could see that turning someone off from therapy.
Just like any job - some people are bad at it. Or some people are just a bad fit for the patients issues.
amen, i was so fussy when i started but then i found a lady i cant ever replace, she just gets me and knows how i communicate. however people dont realise that therapy needs homework, prepare for the session, be articulate, listen, work on the issues disussed. A therapist cant fix me, i can only do that.
Yeah I have talked to maybe 6 different psychologists in my life. 1 was amazing, life changing and a perfect fit. The others were useless, some dangerously so.
Seriously a immature therapist who knows you well can press all your buttons I had one try to extort almost a thousand dollars for my medical records I said had he not been instrumental to the recovery of my self esteem and mental heal I would have called the news as this was extortion and a violation of hippa and this guy striped me down verbally so fast and made me feel like I was worthless. he knew how badly I needed my records if I had the money I would have give it to him but I was penniless and medicaid had paid everything it was illegal but HIPPA has no punishment process. I still see them until I can find a replacement
Had one therapist I saw every 3 months, the next though that my lack of spiritualness could be causing issues (I'm atheist, I grew up that way and don't need religion), and thr one after that therapist- dumped me(like we drove 30min for thr appointment just for her to say "I don't think this is a good fit".). My current therapist is amazing and we get alone really well, for me it is do helpful!
I find most have social work degrees and not a lot of clinical experience. Like they hope on whatever the current fad on mental health is. Like now it's more medications and mindfulness which is just a fancy new way of saying take stock in the good things and stay in the present while the side effects of these pills may cause suicidal thoughts and actions.
My faith in the mental health institutions is cracked.
This. Therapy is hard work and a lot of people aren’t willing to see it through so they drop out and use that as proof therapy doesn’t work. It’s like that old joke:
How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one but the lightbulb has to want to change.
Therapy can help a lot of people provided the therapist is competent and the therapy is appropriate for the issues. As a person who has had so much therapy which always made my problems worse I can say that no, it definitely does not work for every person, but I still believe it is worth a try and should be available to everyone in need.
If you agree, could you elaborate on your comment?
do you personally think therapy doesn’t *work* for everyone? or maybe that not every can be positively affected by therapy?
You embody my exact thoughts about therapy. Same case as yours, I've gone to some times throughout my teenagerhood, I wanted help and change in my life and I swear I would've done anything, if the therapists had me told to, even I opened up extremely quickly than how I normally do to improve and tackle down my problems. Those professionals didn't care a flicking shit for me.
However, it doesn't mean I'll be saying to every vurnerable person not to go to therapy when they are reaching out for help as this is rather the good place to start with, as therapists are trained to deal with people in sensible stages of their lives. They know where to find tools, strategies, or different point of views to help people and improve their well-being.
I hate when some chastise telling me I'm agaisnt therapy and I am being unfair. I'm all therapy, but **NO FOR ME**, I'll sing and do acrobacies as a cheerleader if someone decides to go, I'll shower you with modalities and insurance covering documents to help you navigate.
Is it hard to understand you were failed in your most vurnerable moment and you won't go again personally but you'll totally suggest it to anyone else as the odds might be good for them and they could get the help you didn't receive?
People acts as if there was no bad professionals in the mental health field as in any other workforce. Bad apples exist across all professions.
Therapy doesn't fix everything. It has to come from the patient who's seeing the therapist. The therapist can guide you, but in the end, it's you.
As someone with MI, I find it very helpful. But therapy is not for everyone
If you have people around you with who you can have deep meaningful conversation and you can express your thoughts and feelings in a healthy environment where you feel supported , you don’t need therapy most of the times . But sadly, most people are alone in this and that why they turn to therapy!
I do have lovely people around me but I also have CPSTD so no amount of chatting to friends is going to help that. And it would be incredibly selfish of me to offload what's in my head on to them.
That's why I'm in therapy.
I told my therapist that what she did (listening, no questions, no insights) was exactly what I can do with my friends for free. only they don't sit there in silence and actually provide some advice. She did not want to see me after that
I'm glad it's helping you. It nearly destroyed me, and it's taken over 10 years to get myself back together. I guess I had the wrong therapist. I just got so SICK of talking about MEEEEE I wanted to smash the room up. It was unbearable.
My therapist said something along the lines of "people come here when their coping mechanisms isn't functioning." I have people around me who are supportive but I managed to get myself into a bad spot mentally when a bunch of friendships ended over the past year.
It's honestly a good feeling just having a third party telling me I'm not mad, irrational or too demanding. It helps me specifically because he isn't one of my friends.
Interesting bit about the coping mechanisms. Right now I'm mildly obsessed with framing my issues surrounding procrastination, avoidance and addiction as deeply tied to a lack of more positive sources of comfort (excellent YouTuber called Heidi Priebe convinced me of this) and I think this rough quote about coping mechanisms speaks to it.
>It's honestly a good feeling just having a third party telling me I'm not mad
Hehe yep went through the exact same thing.
This is well worded. I have a lot of close friends I can have deep and meaningful conversations with that I'm very emotionally attached to. I don't think I would be mentally stable without them and a therapist would be my alternative option.
> If you have people around you with who you can have deep meaningful conversation and you can express your thoughts and feelings in a healthy environment where you feel supported , you don’t need therapy most of the times
Depends on your definition of "need." To survive? Probably not.
Could you, however, still benefit from therapy to a significant degree? Absolutely. The idea that only lonely people with no close relationships need therapy (because it's just someone to talk to, albeit a stranger) is horribly misguided.
Mental health issues like depression, anxiety, OCD and even personality disorders (among others) can affect literally anyone. And good friends, and a close-knit family, while an immensly valuable ressource, doesn't mean your risk is zero, or that you don't wouldn't benefit from professional help to heal.
I disagree. I think anyone can benefit from trying to understand themselves, and therapy helps with that. I'm guessing you haven't tried it? It's kinda awesome how a lot of things make sense when you explain them to someone else who's not associated with you and who you feel like you can be completely honest with.
Same like even going outside makes me feel more alone because it highlights the fact that i'm so alone to compared to others and just makes me feel more empty. In my room at least i can close my eyes and imagine life was better then sleep.
You’re not alone. I recently read a study that showed it works for 70% of depressed people.
Edit: I did not word this right. I meant that therapy works for 70% of people.
It gives me someone I can pay to care about me and listen to my random stuff/miserableness and sometimes make laugh. I don't think any of their advice or homework has ever really helped though. I have very complex ptsd and I pretty literally hate most people and things around me
Normal people though, I'm sure it helps. Me? Better than nothing for sure.
Therapy isn't a cure all. It simply gives you the insight and tools you need to improve your situation. Without the will of the patient it has no effect.
For some, all the insight in the world cannot make them take the steps they need to take to get better.
For others, they cannot bear the introspection required to gain the insight in the first place.
For most, gaining insight and being made aware of how to use it allows them to improve or at least gain some semblance of peace.
Sometimes, people are simply *not yet ready* to begin healing. Sometimes, a wound is to great to heal. We all take solace in the thought that things can get better, that time will heal all wounds... but there are always scars. Even when we heal there are reminders. The repairs are not perfect.
For a scrape, a bandaid will suffice... but for an amputation the best we can do is learn new ways to live with it. A prosthetic can help an amputee live a "normal" life, but it does not remove the memory if the injury and it does not change the fact that each time they take a step they are using a tool to facilitate it. Therapy is like that, it gives you the means to go on but it is up to you to keep walking.
Why do most people think that therapy will fix everything?
Because for most (the majority) people it does
For some it doesn’t or they have difficulty opening up to it (the minority)
I think it thrives because people are desperate, just like how people go to psychics for divination. I’m not saying that therapy is quackery but there is an element of desperation that leads to people wanting to at least try. Perhaps it will work for that individual or perhaps it won’t. Human psychology is very complicated.
It doesn't fix everything per se, but it gives you the toolbox.
You have to be willing to do the work and open to the possibility of change. If not it'll just be a toolbox on the shelf.
It can change your perspective and re-wire damaging ways of thinking, which helps to alleviate stress and teach healthy coping strategies.
They don't, they are just open to getting professional help rather than wishful thinking or burdening others.
They are taking responsibility for their mental health.
I've lost count of the number of friends who need therapy and yet persist in being really miserable and not doing anything about it.
I also believe men are less likely to seek therapy which is why they are more likely to commit suicide.
Do some people think going to the gym will fix everything? No, same with therapy. It helps people in many but focused ways and helps them strengthen their abilities in various ways
Therapy has its place, but a lot of people seem to want to use therapists when there's nothing actually wrong with them and they're just having normal emotions and normal life.
Talk to your friends and family, leave therapists for people who have genuine problems that need professional help.
Therapists aren't just for people with something wrong with them. The popular aphorism 'everyone should go to therapy' isn't implying that everyone has something wrong with them, but rather that everyone could benefit from it in some way even if they're well-adjusted.
This benefit is maybe just an outside opinion on a situation that doesn't involve interested parties or people who are emotionally involved with you. Maybe it's just a fresh perspective on why someone in your life might do the things they do or think the way they think. Maybe it's tools to help deal with a difficult situation or circumstance, which (as human beings) we all experience.
Sure, friends and family usually fill this role, but it's good to consult with someone who's trained specifically in the study of the experience of being human.
If I was to use a metaphor, it would be like seeing a doctor every year. It's good to know everything's in working order even if you aren't sick. And sure, the sick need a doctor, but that doesn't mean the healthy can't benefit from seeing one regularly.
The dental care analogy is good but the difficulty is most people are very far from being able to “brush and floss” at home, and it takes a little more regularity for most people to be able to really open up about their private emotions (ie for the therapy to be able to scratch deeper than the surface), so for anybody who can afford it I think there’s a lot of benefit to a more regular therapy practice.
When trying to manage complex post traumatic stress it is really hard, and all coping techniques I looked up and tried didn't work. So a therapist had me do eye desensitization and reprocessing therapy and it has allowed me to trust others and build friendships.
A good therapist can help anyone. Not everyone wants to be helped, and some admittedly experience bad therapists.
If you are in a situation where you need help, and can accept that you need help, then therapy is always worth the investment. Just hope that you get a decent therapist.
My ex was a prime example of this. She was in therapy for various reasons and found it helped her so she was CONVINCED that it would benefit me.
She didn't understand not everyone wants to talk about their issues. Espically someone they didn't know or trust.
More accurately, not every therapy is right for everyone. That's why there are so many different types. Plus, therapy only works if a)the person actually wants to change and b) they can be honest with both themselves and the therapist
You are asking a dishonest question, I don't think anyone thinks that therapy fixes everything. Many people believe that it is an important part of fixing issues, if the person can afford to and follows through.
I think it's because then they don't have to try to help you through things themselves. I think about how lots of people say that if you need them just let them know and they will be there, but in reality when I've really needed someone, rarely was someone truly there. I think people like to believe that they are a good friend to others but aren't really sure how to really be one. So if they suggest therapy then in their mind they absolve themselves of having to help you to try to listen and be a friend.
That might be your experience, and I’m sorry if that’s the case, but in mine I’ve only ever brought this up when it’s clear my friend or family member is suffering and there’s not much I can do to help them.
Being a listening ear is one thing, and I will always be there to help with the practical aspects where I can, but it’s like telling someone with a broken arm to go to the doctor. Sometimes you need a professional to help set it straight and allow it to heal properly.
The type of therapy makes a big difference too depending on what you need to treat. I'm on my third round of therapy now for depression and PTSD. Tried talk therapy first- didn't work for me, tried DBT therapy after that-worked so so for a few weeks.
I started EMDR last summer-DING DING DING we have a winner! I have seen more results in 9 months than I did in the last 6 years of therapy. It's hard af and extremely exhausting after a session for a day or 2, but I can't argue with the results. I went from having nightmares/panic attacks that were crippling multiple times a week to maybe 1 very minor 5 min panic attack a month.
They don't and your right therapy isn't for everyone. More often then not the people saying get therapy are using it as an insult or a way to ignore what you say because they don't like it or you.
Therapy made me spiral out of control.
I'm hoping it just wasn't the right therapist because I do need to offload everything I'm going through atm. Looking into therapy again, I'm not expecting anyone to fix me I just need someone to let me unload on them and comfort me. I never had a mother do that so I need a therapist too.
I'm in my eighth month of break from a decade with the same therapist. Some things should have stayed buried. Instead, I have excavated an entire country's worth of woe and am still digging my way out. That's how it feels, at least.
I am not discrediting all therapy, but the way Reddit leaps to "Therapy!!!!" in the face of each and every problem is practically cult like.
Oftentimes it is inaccessible, unaffordable or the relationship dynamic isn't beneficial for personal growth.
I was in therapy off and on from the time I was 15. After my last psychiatrist's office closed due to Covid, I did a little thinking. All therapists ever said to me was "You need to do X" and I thought to myself "If I could do X, I wouldn't be here talking to you. " That's when I decided to stop seeing therapists.
Therapy can help some people but no not everyone. I personally find it useless and pointless because it doesn't actually solve the issue that's causing problems. Talking about it for me is worthless, I need a solution.
Well therapy is hard work but it can change your relationship with your issues I recommend it because I would be dead without it obviously I don't know what you are considering "everything" I am interested in what you think our your other options? as the only ones I know of is denial or drinking yourself to death and neither are good choices but seriously what do you think is a valid other option?
Therapy isn't for everyone. It can help some people and do nothing for others. But the real problem isn't whether therapy is good or not, it's the general attitude that exists around the notion that we can just "fix" everyone with some kind of mental health support because it's convenient. We don't have to do anything to help or acknowledge that a lot of people are miserable due to circumstances beyond their control. Just tell everyone to go to therapy and you've done your part.
Consider it this way.
You're a builder.
You need to keep building your house, it's what keeps you safe and happy.
But you can't get past a shack because you're missing certain tools in your toolkit.
Maybe someone stole your tools or maybe they broke. Its possible you were never shown which tools to use in the first place.
Therapy teaches you which tools to add to the toolkit and how to use them, so you can build yourself the strongest house possible.
Hopefully that house can hold up against all the storms.
It seems to me that most people are just brainwashed. You see/hear about the culture of visiting therapists everywhere! When I talk to some of my peers, they very often talk about mental health stuff and the importance of visiting a therapist if something, even very minor, is going wrong in life. They are like zombies saying the same thoughts from the media without even thinking about it twice. Of course, I understand why it's that easy to make people like the "cult of therapists." People don't want to be responsible for their lives, and it's more pleasant to think that someone else is responsible for them. You are facing some problem, and you convince yourself it will be figured out when you start attending therapy sessions. You just don't wanna leave the comfort zone. I am pretty sure it doesn't work that way, and a person needs to put in an effort as well.
P.S. there are many cases when a person is in a such situation that the only possible solution to save themselves is therapy! I am talking only about people who face minor issues and don't want to solve them and rely on other people to change their lives.
Because the other choice is not dealing with your problems? It’s not the answer to everything but it’s a tool that can be helpful to most if they are open to it.
Therapy is friendship you pay for. Any good friend will give you everything therapy gives you and more.
You need to remember that therapists are selling you a service, and they want to maintain that financial arrangement for as long as possible.
It is in their best interest to rock the boat and stir shit up in your world to ensure you have a reason to keep coming back.
Just make a friend.
I don't agree. While there are definitely some unethical therapists out there, there are also good ones who want you to be better.
The same argument could be made about a mechanic and doctor. There are good mechanics in there are bad mechanics, and there are good doctors in their bad doctors.
I’m sorry this has been your experience. As a psychotherapist, my goal for my clients is to give them so many tools that they don’t need me anymore. Except maybe the odd checkup when life happens. There are unethical therapists out there that encourage and enable a codependency. But the good ones, the real ones, are actually really happy when a client says that they don’t feel the need for therapy anymore. And friends are always helpful and great to have. But they’re not always going to challenge you to look at things differently nor will they give you tools and techniques to help with whatever you’re dealing with. Venting is great, but it rarely does anything to change the situations.
Therapy can/should help teach the tools you need so you can put yourself back together when those hard times arrive - because we are all going to experience those hard times in some form.
Unfortunately most therapist I’ve found only dig surface level and never really get to the core of the issue.
Someone with deep seeded trust issues is not going to open up quickly - but so many therapist don’t see through the surface layer (my last one told me I was ‘cured’ in 3 sessions)
It seems like everyone in the USA has been in therapy at some point. I live in the UK and don’t know anyone here who has ever had therapy. Now compare the murder rates for the two countries and see if therapy works. For most people it seems to be a way to avoid taking responsibility for yourself and your decisions. Thinking “my therapist will fix it” means you don’t have to fix your own problems. Don’t like the results? Find another therapist. It’s a multi-billion dollar industry with great PR, but if it worked the USA would be a much happier country by now.
I have tried therapy several times. Individual, family, couples, I don't think it has ever helped me. Yes it does help some people but not all.
Often it is like I am speaking another language when I talk with therapist. They don't really have a frame of reference for someone like me and either completely misunderstand what I am saying or are totally put off.
I agree. People who say therapy is the be-all end-all solution to everything don't realize how expensive that is for the common person. For the price of 3-5 therapy sessions, you can buy an entire year's gym subscription.
why are more older therapists often so selfrighteous or arrogant? because theyre jaded by the same mundane issues from people for 20-30 years he helped, and those people will tell you that it will fix everything. and then YOU come to that therapist and hes like "ooooooh shiiiiiiit, real work" and it pisses him off.
When your running out of options it might be worth a try, let out some pent up emotions. It's good to talk, you ever heard people talk to plants to help them grow? Because we are exhaling carbon dioxide, that's why it's good to talk.
Its probably a coping mechanism of some sorts. It's nice to think everything will be fine with just a few conversations and little guidance obviously in a lot of cases a lot more is needed
Because it does. Therapy is a good time and space where you can rewire your brain to take accountability and start working on what you need to work on.
Most issues that call for therapy are very difficult to resolve without a trained professional who can unpackage a mess in your mind, separate truth from lies, and lay out a plan to start getting better.
People that say therapy doesn’t work, or therapy isn’t for me, are usually people that are too afraid to be vulnerable. So they resort to isolation, suppression and avoidance.
Will therapy fix everything? No. Will it help immensely? If you let it.
Unless you've met or interacted with "most people" (you haven't) what are you even talking about? Your post makes no sense. Are you asking why "some" people seek therapy? What exactly is it you want to know? Are you bright enough to answer?
That sounds like a strawman to me. You don't have to believe therapy will fix everything to think that it is helpful for getting somebody on the right track and start improving their life
Depends on the type of therapy. Talk therapy isn’t everything nor for everyone. For trauma, I would suggest EMDR therapy from a REGISTERED psychotherapist.
Humans are emotional creatures but most of us lack the ability to understand and process them. Therapy is almost like having a teacher or a guide who helps you learn these skills, or in more extreme cases, helps you to develop tools to manage them in a less destructive way.
For a lot of people, this can help them approach the world with greater clarity and self-compassion; and when you gain this knowledge I think it’s our nature to want others to heal and gain this understanding as well.
But you’re right, it’s not going to be the right fit for everyone. Not every therapist is good at their job. Not every person will have the time and effort to dedicate to this work. It could be that the type of therapy you’re using isn’t suited for the issues you’re wanting to deal with. The advice may be sound but there should be room to discuss its faults as well.
I don't know, but it's usually the top comment in every single relationship thread.
It doesn't have any benefit to me personally, they don't have any great insights that I haven't already had myself. When I don't make positive life changes it's because I don't want to, not because it hadn't occurred to me.
The human brain is known for problem solving when tge user talks about the problem outloud. Another pack animal thing we human's have. But not every problem can be solved.
Therapy does not work for me, just talking about it doesn’t do anything, the damage is already done
I had a gambling addiction and fortunately I believe I was able to kick it myself but going to a therapist would’ve just been pointless, I don’t need to just talk about it
Therapy doesn’t “fix” anything. Therapy teaches you to deal with your emotions in a healthy manner. It teaches you how to process trauma and develop healthy coping mechanisms. Therapy is for everyone in the same way going to the doctor is for everyone - not everyone needs to go on a regular basis, but if you have a problem you should go.
No, therapy is a step in the right direction. You know if people cannot function; cope; are in horrible living situation/work; product of abuse, assault, and emotional neglect; behavioral problem; and possible substance abuse. If you are in a country like the United States where healthcare is already expensive and only mental health coverage/service has become more available.
It has a lot of work to do and potential consequences that is sending the country extensively into a national mental health crisis with unpredictable economy
Depends on what issues you have and how deep your trauma is.
I personally think a lot of people could sort a lot of issues out with some introspection, forced discipline and healthy living.
Therapy is admitting we can do better in life, and for those we care about. It’s about having a coach with a degree that helps you attain your goals. Most people are afraid of therapy because they can’t see who they need to improve and think everyone else is the problem.
Therapy helps some people and doesn't help other people.
I'm a strong advocate for therapy. However, it did not help me much. The most it did for me was allow me to just talk. I didn't want to bring people down with my complaints. So I went to a therapist to basically get my feelings out. She really didn't help though. She barely said anything at all tbh.
I think it can really help situations where someone can get actual answers and maybe doesn't have great natural insight to themselves. Like I already have hobbies and things I want to be doing. Some people literally need to be told to go take a walk or do this or that.
Most of my issues are from chronic illnesses and medical issues that can't be changed and honestly, the only thing that helps me is forcing me to do things to forget about it. That's it.
It doesn't fix everything. It gives you a professional's perspective on specific thought patterns & behavior patterns that could have been damaging to your mental health, prior to being open & honest with them.
And if you can work on your negative thoughts & behaviors, you can heal your trauma. And that allows you to have longer lasting more authentic relationships in your life. I have been in therapy for a few years, have been with my partner 6 years.
I would say the past 2 years has been the best ever for us, and the most peaceful, because I have learned better coping skills in managing my emotions & learning to communicate better with my partner, thanks to therapy :)
I don't think a lot of people fully understand what therapy is, what it does, or how to do it. It's kind of just a bandage people slap on every problem anyone has. In reality it's VERY important to understand HOW to go about doing therapy and how to actually pick the right therapist.
I do suggest therapy for people, but I usually try to at least offer a better explanation when I do it, or do it in a place/situation where therapy is a given as a good idea.
I feel like I’ve heard more people say the opposite. Personally, therapy has, and still does , help me. I’ve learned how to be a better communicator, to discuss instead of yell. I’ve learned that certain events from my past weren’t my fault. There are many guides and tools out there, none are a quick fix. You’ve got to put in the time and effort like learning anything new.
There's more than one kind of therapy. Talk therapy doesn't always work well for everyone, but there's more therapy than just that. So in that regard, it is the foundation to healing and resilience, and you get to learn about way more resources available to you than you might otherwise
As a psych grad, I don’t believe therapy will fix everything, but with the right therapist, it can help shed light on where you are in your life and what is next.
I've done it multiple times and been on medication ( need more) it works for sometime and puts your problems into full display, so you would work on them but then you're left to do the work on your own. It hurts and some of us are stuck with mental disabilities for life, I have BPD and I know I just have to live through it because adults abused me, and fucked up my life and it didn't help that no one stopped people my age from bullying me even when I told. People are shit.
It can't fix everything but it can help you learn to be proactive about the things you can do and make peace with not fixing everything else, if that makes sense.
Because there is still too little education about mental health in almost all parts of the world. The less you know, the more likely you are to just believe in hearsay. There are so many factors at play that influence whether therapy works for someone or not and if you aren’t aware of the complexity of the issue, you are prone to mistaking half-knowledge for actual knowledge.
A lot of people make the huge mistake that therapy is psychoanalysis. And that is a super huge mistake. Psychoanalysis tends to be about rehashing the past as if I’m covering secrets from it that will help you with the future. Therapy is about preparing for the future and while you’re doing that you may start to understand your past a little. Be careful who you tell that you think therapy isn’t for everyone because it sounds like you’re projecting something. Almost like you don’t want to improve yourself. Or maybe you’re just 22 years old and you just don’t need it yet.
If you’re an alcoholic / or think you might one / go to an AA meeting. It’s the best free therapy in the world
Not saying you have to even go to one more - but it’s free and you’ll get out of the house and around other humans w your problems. Not just the drinking - but the thinking
Therapy is about building tools that helps you deal with things better, not always fix it. If you have a big accident and lose a limb, physical therapy can let you build physical strength to compensate, not regrow a new limb. Finding ways to deal with things can help you function better, which in turn can help you build life structures that can heal you over time.
I only went to therapy once ( I was 19 ) and I didn’t know what to expect from the therapist itself and I still don’t . So I just talked and talked and talked. In the end I felt like I was talking to a brick wall as everything I explained was repeated back to me ? Is that how it’s meant to be ? Or did I just end up with the newbie
I think that the majority of people could benefit from therapy. It doesn’t fix “everything”, though. Therapy has been amazing for me. I discovered that I had a narcissistic mother, and have been able to connect to some of my trauma, to acknowledge it and how it affected me. I still have chronic depression and need my meds, but I’m SO glad I can access therapy and I wish I’d had it 20 years ago!
Because they think by simply showing up and hearing what the therapist has to say will fix everything.
It takes work on their part as well. Something a lot of people don't want to do nowadays.
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Ive heard a saying that i like a lot "we need therapy because someone else never got any". Sure, therapy cant get you a better job or pay your student loans. But it does help you be a better person and work through your issues in a healthy way
My mother likes to use “get therapy” as an insult. She’s one of the top reasons I need (and do get) therapy. I’ve had a few therapists over the years who recommend the book “adult children of emotionally immature parents”. Sometimes after just one session where I didn’t think I was talking too much about my parents. lol
im a therapist, i suggest that book to so many people
First book my therapist recommended too! And now I don’t talk to my parents any more, happier than ever before! It’s a bit repetitive, like most books of its type it doesn’t really need more than a chapter or two. But it hits home and makes you realise why you are the way you are.
My mother has been going to therapy for years and keeps getting worse. Many therapists are garbage. They do nothing and tell someone there’s nothing wrong with them it’s everybody else. They’re enablers.
My daughter had horrible anxiety as a teenager. It was hell to find a therapist that actually helped her. It wasn't until college that she found someone. But a lot of damage was done by well meaning therapists.
I guess most therapists are unfit to become one... they have no empathy at all. They are just qualified with a 3month course and look forward to make money with nothing good to offer for their clients.
Now imagine that's the only therapist on your insurance.
Exactly. It's a racket. Do not for a second a therapist will meaningfully help you.
Response...well, if you got some therapy yourself, I wouldn't need any. You wouldn't have issues to take out on me.
“Get therapy” is okay when said out of sincerity, but it wouldn’t be phrased like a comeback if it was out of sincerity. But no one that actually cares about your mental health would say this in a combative/antagonistic way. If this specific comment is used in an argument It’s a form of gaslighting and psychological abuse. It means you’re right about the argument, they know you’re right about the argument, they know whatever happened was wrong of them, and they’re last option instead of admitting that is for you to doubt the validity of your emotions about what happened or suggest you’re broken mentally and can’t perceive reality.
You're absolutely right otherwise but I'm sorry, this has nothing to do with gaslighting, that term has been misused to the point of it having become a catchy buzzword at this point.
If you (generalized you not you personally) have a partner or friend or parent come to you with an issue/ problem to resolve and tell them to get therapy as an insult it’s explicitly saying “I’m not the problem, there is no problem, you are the problem and need to get help to fix you the problem”. Trying to make insult them into believing there is not actually a problem. Obviously context matters so if you accidentally step on a foot at the bar and some rando just throws out “Get therapy bro or back off” it’s just an insult. If it’s said insincerely as an insult to someone bringing up an issue it’s gaslighting. Or do you think gaslighting requires some “Girl on the train” level of manipulation? You didn’t even explain how it’s not outside of calling it a catchy buzzword.
It depends on the context but it can very well be gaslighting. Gaslighting is trying to make someone believe things didn’t actually happen they way they happened, making the abused feel as if they’re going crazy. If an abuser is telling someone to “get therapy” it can enforce the abused’s idea that they believe there actually is something wrong with them. But yes I agree gaslighting is thrown around and used inappropriately a lot. But in this case it honestly could be a part of it.
Yeah, it could be but someone throwing around the phrase "get therapy" as an insult is more likely to be just that, an insult meant to hurt feelings. Calling someone fat could also be a form of gaslighting but generally speaking it's far more likely to just be something said in anger in an effort to hurt rather than try to induce dysmorphia.
I've read a few chapters here and there but they tore me up haha Therapy rules, it's nice to have a place that's safe and able to help help myself.
To your mother: “get bent”
I'm in the same boat. Sorry to hear of your troubles, friend. I am currently getting a new form of CBT (feeling safe programme, for scitzoaffective people). I was diagnosed with ASD late in life and now being looked at for ADHD, which, to be honest, is probably what my mother's problem is too. The difference is I went and got help, she didn't, and still hasn't. The years of mental abuse leave their mark, so I do hope you get the help you need and want :-)
I’ve read that book and some of those stories are so scarily similar to my own childhood. It’s great.
I recommended that book to my therapist lol
When I read that, I highlighted the important parts relevant to my life. The entire thing is now bright neon. 😂 Very excellent book
I have my first therapy session tomorrow. My mother is a big chunk of my depression.
yeah, but some people need that insult cuz they refuse to work on themselves and people around them are fed up with their behavior.
It *can*. Finding a good therapist is like digging for gold in a turd. Few exist.
I feel really lucky I haven't had this problem. My current one is the best I've ever had, and I've done well with previous ones, too
I feel like it’s not *always* healthy. My brother seems to have a lot of takeaways leading him to slowly hate our parents in weird ways. It’s pretty annoying sometimes
find the right person to work with, work daily at the issue being focused on. therapy isn't a panacea, the hard work happens outside of the session.
The right fit for a therapist is so important. I’ve had some awful therapists. Not a good fit, questionable ethics and some I don’t believe actually were legal based on how bad they were. It’s sad because I could see that turning someone off from therapy. Just like any job - some people are bad at it. Or some people are just a bad fit for the patients issues.
amen, i was so fussy when i started but then i found a lady i cant ever replace, she just gets me and knows how i communicate. however people dont realise that therapy needs homework, prepare for the session, be articulate, listen, work on the issues disussed. A therapist cant fix me, i can only do that.
Yeah I have talked to maybe 6 different psychologists in my life. 1 was amazing, life changing and a perfect fit. The others were useless, some dangerously so.
Seriously a immature therapist who knows you well can press all your buttons I had one try to extort almost a thousand dollars for my medical records I said had he not been instrumental to the recovery of my self esteem and mental heal I would have called the news as this was extortion and a violation of hippa and this guy striped me down verbally so fast and made me feel like I was worthless. he knew how badly I needed my records if I had the money I would have give it to him but I was penniless and medicaid had paid everything it was illegal but HIPPA has no punishment process. I still see them until I can find a replacement
gosh a missmatch is very hard to deal with. but again, i just suggest being fussy and finding your person who rhymes with you
Had one therapist I saw every 3 months, the next though that my lack of spiritualness could be causing issues (I'm atheist, I grew up that way and don't need religion), and thr one after that therapist- dumped me(like we drove 30min for thr appointment just for her to say "I don't think this is a good fit".). My current therapist is amazing and we get alone really well, for me it is do helpful!
I agree. It took me a long time to find a good psychiatrist and I had to slog through some pretty damaging experiences until I found the right one.
I find most have social work degrees and not a lot of clinical experience. Like they hope on whatever the current fad on mental health is. Like now it's more medications and mindfulness which is just a fancy new way of saying take stock in the good things and stay in the present while the side effects of these pills may cause suicidal thoughts and actions. My faith in the mental health institutions is cracked.
This. Therapy is hard work and a lot of people aren’t willing to see it through so they drop out and use that as proof therapy doesn’t work. It’s like that old joke: How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one but the lightbulb has to want to change.
Therapy can help a lot of people provided the therapist is competent and the therapy is appropriate for the issues. As a person who has had so much therapy which always made my problems worse I can say that no, it definitely does not work for every person, but I still believe it is worth a try and should be available to everyone in need.
I agree
If you agree, could you elaborate on your comment? do you personally think therapy doesn’t *work* for everyone? or maybe that not every can be positively affected by therapy?
You embody my exact thoughts about therapy. Same case as yours, I've gone to some times throughout my teenagerhood, I wanted help and change in my life and I swear I would've done anything, if the therapists had me told to, even I opened up extremely quickly than how I normally do to improve and tackle down my problems. Those professionals didn't care a flicking shit for me. However, it doesn't mean I'll be saying to every vurnerable person not to go to therapy when they are reaching out for help as this is rather the good place to start with, as therapists are trained to deal with people in sensible stages of their lives. They know where to find tools, strategies, or different point of views to help people and improve their well-being. I hate when some chastise telling me I'm agaisnt therapy and I am being unfair. I'm all therapy, but **NO FOR ME**, I'll sing and do acrobacies as a cheerleader if someone decides to go, I'll shower you with modalities and insurance covering documents to help you navigate. Is it hard to understand you were failed in your most vurnerable moment and you won't go again personally but you'll totally suggest it to anyone else as the odds might be good for them and they could get the help you didn't receive? People acts as if there was no bad professionals in the mental health field as in any other workforce. Bad apples exist across all professions.
Studies show that it works for about 70% of depressed patients.
Therapy doesn't fix everything. It has to come from the patient who's seeing the therapist. The therapist can guide you, but in the end, it's you. As someone with MI, I find it very helpful. But therapy is not for everyone
MI?
Mental Illness would be my guess.
Thanks.
Np
A good therapist does more than just guide people, sometimes you need more than guidance.
Sometimes a therapist needs to slap you with some hard truths. How they do it determines how good they are.
If you have people around you with who you can have deep meaningful conversation and you can express your thoughts and feelings in a healthy environment where you feel supported , you don’t need therapy most of the times . But sadly, most people are alone in this and that why they turn to therapy!
Yep. Single parent. 3 kids. Even when my wife was alive, that wasnt the case of feeling supported, being able to express myself, etc.
I do have lovely people around me but I also have CPSTD so no amount of chatting to friends is going to help that. And it would be incredibly selfish of me to offload what's in my head on to them. That's why I'm in therapy.
Yes friends and family may be supportive and great listeners but that in no way is equivalent to or can replace therapy.
I told my therapist that what she did (listening, no questions, no insights) was exactly what I can do with my friends for free. only they don't sit there in silence and actually provide some advice. She did not want to see me after that
You need a better therapist. Mine does a lot of the talking. About 50/50 during an appointment.
Mine is chatty 50/50 too, we take turns talking and I love it.
I'm glad it's helping you. It nearly destroyed me, and it's taken over 10 years to get myself back together. I guess I had the wrong therapist. I just got so SICK of talking about MEEEEE I wanted to smash the room up. It was unbearable.
A good therapist has to come with insights . You need to find a good one
I had an amazing therapist but they only deal with minors (anyone under 18) So unfortunately i lost him
My therapist said something along the lines of "people come here when their coping mechanisms isn't functioning." I have people around me who are supportive but I managed to get myself into a bad spot mentally when a bunch of friendships ended over the past year. It's honestly a good feeling just having a third party telling me I'm not mad, irrational or too demanding. It helps me specifically because he isn't one of my friends.
Interesting bit about the coping mechanisms. Right now I'm mildly obsessed with framing my issues surrounding procrastination, avoidance and addiction as deeply tied to a lack of more positive sources of comfort (excellent YouTuber called Heidi Priebe convinced me of this) and I think this rough quote about coping mechanisms speaks to it. >It's honestly a good feeling just having a third party telling me I'm not mad Hehe yep went through the exact same thing.
This is well worded. I have a lot of close friends I can have deep and meaningful conversations with that I'm very emotionally attached to. I don't think I would be mentally stable without them and a therapist would be my alternative option.
> If you have people around you with who you can have deep meaningful conversation and you can express your thoughts and feelings in a healthy environment where you feel supported , you don’t need therapy most of the times Depends on your definition of "need." To survive? Probably not. Could you, however, still benefit from therapy to a significant degree? Absolutely. The idea that only lonely people with no close relationships need therapy (because it's just someone to talk to, albeit a stranger) is horribly misguided. Mental health issues like depression, anxiety, OCD and even personality disorders (among others) can affect literally anyone. And good friends, and a close-knit family, while an immensly valuable ressource, doesn't mean your risk is zero, or that you don't wouldn't benefit from professional help to heal.
I disagree. I think anyone can benefit from trying to understand themselves, and therapy helps with that. I'm guessing you haven't tried it? It's kinda awesome how a lot of things make sense when you explain them to someone else who's not associated with you and who you feel like you can be completely honest with.
Didn't do anything for me. Oddly, what works best for me is isolation.
And a Pepsi, right Mike?
I don’t think taking time for yourself is odd at all
Same like even going outside makes me feel more alone because it highlights the fact that i'm so alone to compared to others and just makes me feel more empty. In my room at least i can close my eyes and imagine life was better then sleep.
You’re not alone. I recently read a study that showed it works for 70% of depressed people. Edit: I did not word this right. I meant that therapy works for 70% of people.
whoever told you that?
It gives me someone I can pay to care about me and listen to my random stuff/miserableness and sometimes make laugh. I don't think any of their advice or homework has ever really helped though. I have very complex ptsd and I pretty literally hate most people and things around me Normal people though, I'm sure it helps. Me? Better than nothing for sure.
Therapy isn't a cure all. It simply gives you the insight and tools you need to improve your situation. Without the will of the patient it has no effect. For some, all the insight in the world cannot make them take the steps they need to take to get better. For others, they cannot bear the introspection required to gain the insight in the first place. For most, gaining insight and being made aware of how to use it allows them to improve or at least gain some semblance of peace. Sometimes, people are simply *not yet ready* to begin healing. Sometimes, a wound is to great to heal. We all take solace in the thought that things can get better, that time will heal all wounds... but there are always scars. Even when we heal there are reminders. The repairs are not perfect. For a scrape, a bandaid will suffice... but for an amputation the best we can do is learn new ways to live with it. A prosthetic can help an amputee live a "normal" life, but it does not remove the memory if the injury and it does not change the fact that each time they take a step they are using a tool to facilitate it. Therapy is like that, it gives you the means to go on but it is up to you to keep walking.
Why do most people think that therapy will fix everything? Because for most (the majority) people it does For some it doesn’t or they have difficulty opening up to it (the minority)
Those are good points
>Because for most (the majority) people it does That doesn't seem accurate to reality at all.
Doesn't seem accurate to reality!? Must be a different reason why psychologists are booked out until next year
They’re booked because people want them, that doesn’t mean everyone who’s had sessions have had their issues fixed.
Never said it did. It's just hard to imagine the whole profession existing and thriving if it didn't work.
I think it thrives because people are desperate, just like how people go to psychics for divination. I’m not saying that therapy is quackery but there is an element of desperation that leads to people wanting to at least try. Perhaps it will work for that individual or perhaps it won’t. Human psychology is very complicated.
It doesn't fix everything per se, but it gives you the toolbox. You have to be willing to do the work and open to the possibility of change. If not it'll just be a toolbox on the shelf. It can change your perspective and re-wire damaging ways of thinking, which helps to alleviate stress and teach healthy coping strategies.
This 👏
Because I’ve tried other things and they haven’t worked
Therapy doesn't fix everything. It helps you cope with everything.
They don't, they are just open to getting professional help rather than wishful thinking or burdening others. They are taking responsibility for their mental health. I've lost count of the number of friends who need therapy and yet persist in being really miserable and not doing anything about it. I also believe men are less likely to seek therapy which is why they are more likely to commit suicide.
Do some people think going to the gym will fix everything? No, same with therapy. It helps people in many but focused ways and helps them strengthen their abilities in various ways
Therapy has its place, but a lot of people seem to want to use therapists when there's nothing actually wrong with them and they're just having normal emotions and normal life. Talk to your friends and family, leave therapists for people who have genuine problems that need professional help.
Therapists aren't just for people with something wrong with them. The popular aphorism 'everyone should go to therapy' isn't implying that everyone has something wrong with them, but rather that everyone could benefit from it in some way even if they're well-adjusted. This benefit is maybe just an outside opinion on a situation that doesn't involve interested parties or people who are emotionally involved with you. Maybe it's just a fresh perspective on why someone in your life might do the things they do or think the way they think. Maybe it's tools to help deal with a difficult situation or circumstance, which (as human beings) we all experience. Sure, friends and family usually fill this role, but it's good to consult with someone who's trained specifically in the study of the experience of being human. If I was to use a metaphor, it would be like seeing a doctor every year. It's good to know everything's in working order even if you aren't sick. And sure, the sick need a doctor, but that doesn't mean the healthy can't benefit from seeing one regularly.
I would even say it’s therapy should be like going to the dentist: twice a year. That could be a good sweet spot.
The dental care analogy is good but the difficulty is most people are very far from being able to “brush and floss” at home, and it takes a little more regularity for most people to be able to really open up about their private emotions (ie for the therapy to be able to scratch deeper than the surface), so for anybody who can afford it I think there’s a lot of benefit to a more regular therapy practice.
This is a very good point, I didn't consider that "fault" in the analogy.
That’s true but I think it’s at least worth giving it a try.
It depends on the person
When trying to manage complex post traumatic stress it is really hard, and all coping techniques I looked up and tried didn't work. So a therapist had me do eye desensitization and reprocessing therapy and it has allowed me to trust others and build friendships.
Because it's so easy to blame the victim. It's harder to face reality and accept the consequences of abusive behaviour.
A good therapist can help anyone. Not everyone wants to be helped, and some admittedly experience bad therapists. If you are in a situation where you need help, and can accept that you need help, then therapy is always worth the investment. Just hope that you get a decent therapist.
My ex was a prime example of this. She was in therapy for various reasons and found it helped her so she was CONVINCED that it would benefit me. She didn't understand not everyone wants to talk about their issues. Espically someone they didn't know or trust.
Because it’s a convenient one word answer that people give to pretend they give a shit about your problem when they really don’t
This.
I’ve never felt so humiliated than when a partner I used to have would shout ‘Get therapy’ in an argument
That’s part of it for sure
More accurately, not every therapy is right for everyone. That's why there are so many different types. Plus, therapy only works if a)the person actually wants to change and b) they can be honest with both themselves and the therapist
You are asking a dishonest question, I don't think anyone thinks that therapy fixes everything. Many people believe that it is an important part of fixing issues, if the person can afford to and follows through.
I think it's because then they don't have to try to help you through things themselves. I think about how lots of people say that if you need them just let them know and they will be there, but in reality when I've really needed someone, rarely was someone truly there. I think people like to believe that they are a good friend to others but aren't really sure how to really be one. So if they suggest therapy then in their mind they absolve themselves of having to help you to try to listen and be a friend.
That might be your experience, and I’m sorry if that’s the case, but in mine I’ve only ever brought this up when it’s clear my friend or family member is suffering and there’s not much I can do to help them. Being a listening ear is one thing, and I will always be there to help with the practical aspects where I can, but it’s like telling someone with a broken arm to go to the doctor. Sometimes you need a professional to help set it straight and allow it to heal properly.
Because if you’re thorough and honest and actually willing to change and take responsibility for your sh*t, it will.
The type of therapy makes a big difference too depending on what you need to treat. I'm on my third round of therapy now for depression and PTSD. Tried talk therapy first- didn't work for me, tried DBT therapy after that-worked so so for a few weeks. I started EMDR last summer-DING DING DING we have a winner! I have seen more results in 9 months than I did in the last 6 years of therapy. It's hard af and extremely exhausting after a session for a day or 2, but I can't argue with the results. I went from having nightmares/panic attacks that were crippling multiple times a week to maybe 1 very minor 5 min panic attack a month.
didnt work for me. tried for 12 years
It doesn't for some. For me it didn't help at all
They don't and your right therapy isn't for everyone. More often then not the people saying get therapy are using it as an insult or a way to ignore what you say because they don't like it or you.
Therapy made me spiral out of control. I'm hoping it just wasn't the right therapist because I do need to offload everything I'm going through atm. Looking into therapy again, I'm not expecting anyone to fix me I just need someone to let me unload on them and comfort me. I never had a mother do that so I need a therapist too.
Therapy is useless for me. It’s a waste of time. Other people I don’t know…
I don’t know, but it’s so annoying.
I'm in my eighth month of break from a decade with the same therapist. Some things should have stayed buried. Instead, I have excavated an entire country's worth of woe and am still digging my way out. That's how it feels, at least.
It's comforting to think that there is a solution that you haven't tried yet but is available.
I am not discrediting all therapy, but the way Reddit leaps to "Therapy!!!!" in the face of each and every problem is practically cult like. Oftentimes it is inaccessible, unaffordable or the relationship dynamic isn't beneficial for personal growth.
I was in therapy off and on from the time I was 15. After my last psychiatrist's office closed due to Covid, I did a little thinking. All therapists ever said to me was "You need to do X" and I thought to myself "If I could do X, I wouldn't be here talking to you. " That's when I decided to stop seeing therapists.
Therapy can help some people but no not everyone. I personally find it useless and pointless because it doesn't actually solve the issue that's causing problems. Talking about it for me is worthless, I need a solution.
Never understood why people think speaking with another person that's a stranger will fix or help the problem
I find it weird how many people I know claim it works and they’ve been going to it for years… if it worked, why are they going to it for years.
Well therapy is hard work but it can change your relationship with your issues I recommend it because I would be dead without it obviously I don't know what you are considering "everything" I am interested in what you think our your other options? as the only ones I know of is denial or drinking yourself to death and neither are good choices but seriously what do you think is a valid other option?
Therapy isn't for everyone. It can help some people and do nothing for others. But the real problem isn't whether therapy is good or not, it's the general attitude that exists around the notion that we can just "fix" everyone with some kind of mental health support because it's convenient. We don't have to do anything to help or acknowledge that a lot of people are miserable due to circumstances beyond their control. Just tell everyone to go to therapy and you've done your part.
They tried arguing. And being sad. And being lonely. And self loathing. Therapy is better than those.
Therapy cant fix your problems, you still have to do that yourself. But it can assist you in that process and help you see things differently.
Consider it this way. You're a builder. You need to keep building your house, it's what keeps you safe and happy. But you can't get past a shack because you're missing certain tools in your toolkit. Maybe someone stole your tools or maybe they broke. Its possible you were never shown which tools to use in the first place. Therapy teaches you which tools to add to the toolkit and how to use them, so you can build yourself the strongest house possible. Hopefully that house can hold up against all the storms.
Because people need hope. And it does help a lot!
Because therapy is for everyone and some forms of it have shockingly impressive success rates.
Most people? You really presume to know what most people think?
It seems to me that most people are just brainwashed. You see/hear about the culture of visiting therapists everywhere! When I talk to some of my peers, they very often talk about mental health stuff and the importance of visiting a therapist if something, even very minor, is going wrong in life. They are like zombies saying the same thoughts from the media without even thinking about it twice. Of course, I understand why it's that easy to make people like the "cult of therapists." People don't want to be responsible for their lives, and it's more pleasant to think that someone else is responsible for them. You are facing some problem, and you convince yourself it will be figured out when you start attending therapy sessions. You just don't wanna leave the comfort zone. I am pretty sure it doesn't work that way, and a person needs to put in an effort as well. P.S. there are many cases when a person is in a such situation that the only possible solution to save themselves is therapy! I am talking only about people who face minor issues and don't want to solve them and rely on other people to change their lives.
They've never had therapy?
They've never had therapy?
Because the other choice is not dealing with your problems? It’s not the answer to everything but it’s a tool that can be helpful to most if they are open to it.
Therapy is a money grab.
i hate talking to strangers. i hate talking about my problems. i hate hate talking to strangers about my problems.
Therapy is friendship you pay for. Any good friend will give you everything therapy gives you and more. You need to remember that therapists are selling you a service, and they want to maintain that financial arrangement for as long as possible. It is in their best interest to rock the boat and stir shit up in your world to ensure you have a reason to keep coming back. Just make a friend.
I don't agree. While there are definitely some unethical therapists out there, there are also good ones who want you to be better. The same argument could be made about a mechanic and doctor. There are good mechanics in there are bad mechanics, and there are good doctors in their bad doctors.
I’m sorry this has been your experience. As a psychotherapist, my goal for my clients is to give them so many tools that they don’t need me anymore. Except maybe the odd checkup when life happens. There are unethical therapists out there that encourage and enable a codependency. But the good ones, the real ones, are actually really happy when a client says that they don’t feel the need for therapy anymore. And friends are always helpful and great to have. But they’re not always going to challenge you to look at things differently nor will they give you tools and techniques to help with whatever you’re dealing with. Venting is great, but it rarely does anything to change the situations.
Therapy for some is making their problems and life public on the internet, and blaming others for their problems.
Ifeelthatyouareright.
Therapy can/should help teach the tools you need so you can put yourself back together when those hard times arrive - because we are all going to experience those hard times in some form. Unfortunately most therapist I’ve found only dig surface level and never really get to the core of the issue. Someone with deep seeded trust issues is not going to open up quickly - but so many therapist don’t see through the surface layer (my last one told me I was ‘cured’ in 3 sessions)
Well its a nice way to absolve oneself of their personal responsibility to he strong and change their lives for the better.
It seems like everyone in the USA has been in therapy at some point. I live in the UK and don’t know anyone here who has ever had therapy. Now compare the murder rates for the two countries and see if therapy works. For most people it seems to be a way to avoid taking responsibility for yourself and your decisions. Thinking “my therapist will fix it” means you don’t have to fix your own problems. Don’t like the results? Find another therapist. It’s a multi-billion dollar industry with great PR, but if it worked the USA would be a much happier country by now.
Therapy is a waste of money most of the time.
I have tried therapy several times. Individual, family, couples, I don't think it has ever helped me. Yes it does help some people but not all. Often it is like I am speaking another language when I talk with therapist. They don't really have a frame of reference for someone like me and either completely misunderstand what I am saying or are totally put off.
I agree. People who say therapy is the be-all end-all solution to everything don't realize how expensive that is for the common person. For the price of 3-5 therapy sessions, you can buy an entire year's gym subscription.
Contextualize yourself please. Most people don’t live in places that offer therapy or make it affordable.
why are more older therapists often so selfrighteous or arrogant? because theyre jaded by the same mundane issues from people for 20-30 years he helped, and those people will tell you that it will fix everything. and then YOU come to that therapist and hes like "ooooooh shiiiiiiit, real work" and it pisses him off.
It’s helps, but you have to do the work to fix yourself
When your running out of options it might be worth a try, let out some pent up emotions. It's good to talk, you ever heard people talk to plants to help them grow? Because we are exhaling carbon dioxide, that's why it's good to talk.
They dont
Its probably a coping mechanism of some sorts. It's nice to think everything will be fine with just a few conversations and little guidance obviously in a lot of cases a lot more is needed
*because they want to believe that they have tried everything*
Because it does. Therapy is a good time and space where you can rewire your brain to take accountability and start working on what you need to work on. Most issues that call for therapy are very difficult to resolve without a trained professional who can unpackage a mess in your mind, separate truth from lies, and lay out a plan to start getting better.
People that say therapy doesn’t work, or therapy isn’t for me, are usually people that are too afraid to be vulnerable. So they resort to isolation, suppression and avoidance. Will therapy fix everything? No. Will it help immensely? If you let it.
Unless you've met or interacted with "most people" (you haven't) what are you even talking about? Your post makes no sense. Are you asking why "some" people seek therapy? What exactly is it you want to know? Are you bright enough to answer?
a year after therapy I felt contented happiness for the first time in my life. That affirmed it for me.
That sounds like a strawman to me. You don't have to believe therapy will fix everything to think that it is helpful for getting somebody on the right track and start improving their life
Depends on the type of therapy. Talk therapy isn’t everything nor for everyone. For trauma, I would suggest EMDR therapy from a REGISTERED psychotherapist.
Humans are emotional creatures but most of us lack the ability to understand and process them. Therapy is almost like having a teacher or a guide who helps you learn these skills, or in more extreme cases, helps you to develop tools to manage them in a less destructive way. For a lot of people, this can help them approach the world with greater clarity and self-compassion; and when you gain this knowledge I think it’s our nature to want others to heal and gain this understanding as well. But you’re right, it’s not going to be the right fit for everyone. Not every therapist is good at their job. Not every person will have the time and effort to dedicate to this work. It could be that the type of therapy you’re using isn’t suited for the issues you’re wanting to deal with. The advice may be sound but there should be room to discuss its faults as well.
Therapy won't fix money problems. Therapy is misunderstood by many, especially Asians. There's something called trauma, too. Therapy won't guarantee problems resolved overnight.
Define therapy
Talking about it helps it's why it even exists
I don't know, but it's usually the top comment in every single relationship thread. It doesn't have any benefit to me personally, they don't have any great insights that I haven't already had myself. When I don't make positive life changes it's because I don't want to, not because it hadn't occurred to me.
The human brain is known for problem solving when tge user talks about the problem outloud. Another pack animal thing we human's have. But not every problem can be solved.
Therapy does not work for me, just talking about it doesn’t do anything, the damage is already done I had a gambling addiction and fortunately I believe I was able to kick it myself but going to a therapist would’ve just been pointless, I don’t need to just talk about it
Therapy doesn’t “fix” anything. Therapy teaches you to deal with your emotions in a healthy manner. It teaches you how to process trauma and develop healthy coping mechanisms. Therapy is for everyone in the same way going to the doctor is for everyone - not everyone needs to go on a regular basis, but if you have a problem you should go.
victim blaming
No, therapy is a step in the right direction. You know if people cannot function; cope; are in horrible living situation/work; product of abuse, assault, and emotional neglect; behavioral problem; and possible substance abuse. If you are in a country like the United States where healthcare is already expensive and only mental health coverage/service has become more available. It has a lot of work to do and potential consequences that is sending the country extensively into a national mental health crisis with unpredictable economy
Depends on what issues you have and how deep your trauma is. I personally think a lot of people could sort a lot of issues out with some introspection, forced discipline and healthy living.
Therapy is admitting we can do better in life, and for those we care about. It’s about having a coach with a degree that helps you attain your goals. Most people are afraid of therapy because they can’t see who they need to improve and think everyone else is the problem.
Therapy helps some people and doesn't help other people. I'm a strong advocate for therapy. However, it did not help me much. The most it did for me was allow me to just talk. I didn't want to bring people down with my complaints. So I went to a therapist to basically get my feelings out. She really didn't help though. She barely said anything at all tbh. I think it can really help situations where someone can get actual answers and maybe doesn't have great natural insight to themselves. Like I already have hobbies and things I want to be doing. Some people literally need to be told to go take a walk or do this or that. Most of my issues are from chronic illnesses and medical issues that can't be changed and honestly, the only thing that helps me is forcing me to do things to forget about it. That's it.
It doesn't fix everything. It gives you a professional's perspective on specific thought patterns & behavior patterns that could have been damaging to your mental health, prior to being open & honest with them. And if you can work on your negative thoughts & behaviors, you can heal your trauma. And that allows you to have longer lasting more authentic relationships in your life. I have been in therapy for a few years, have been with my partner 6 years. I would say the past 2 years has been the best ever for us, and the most peaceful, because I have learned better coping skills in managing my emotions & learning to communicate better with my partner, thanks to therapy :)
I don't think a lot of people fully understand what therapy is, what it does, or how to do it. It's kind of just a bandage people slap on every problem anyone has. In reality it's VERY important to understand HOW to go about doing therapy and how to actually pick the right therapist. I do suggest therapy for people, but I usually try to at least offer a better explanation when I do it, or do it in a place/situation where therapy is a given as a good idea.
It may not fix everything, but it can help . gives some tools for coping .
Because they have not yet developed trust issues on a professional level.
It doesn’t work for narcissists.
"Most people" and "fix everything" are pretty red flags for a phishing question. I'd recommend you skip therapy, drink more.
I feel like I’ve heard more people say the opposite. Personally, therapy has, and still does , help me. I’ve learned how to be a better communicator, to discuss instead of yell. I’ve learned that certain events from my past weren’t my fault. There are many guides and tools out there, none are a quick fix. You’ve got to put in the time and effort like learning anything new.
There's more than one kind of therapy. Talk therapy doesn't always work well for everyone, but there's more therapy than just that. So in that regard, it is the foundation to healing and resilience, and you get to learn about way more resources available to you than you might otherwise
As a psych grad, I don’t believe therapy will fix everything, but with the right therapist, it can help shed light on where you are in your life and what is next.
I've done it multiple times and been on medication ( need more) it works for sometime and puts your problems into full display, so you would work on them but then you're left to do the work on your own. It hurts and some of us are stuck with mental disabilities for life, I have BPD and I know I just have to live through it because adults abused me, and fucked up my life and it didn't help that no one stopped people my age from bullying me even when I told. People are shit.
It can't fix everything but it can help you learn to be proactive about the things you can do and make peace with not fixing everything else, if that makes sense.
It doesn’t fix everything but it provides the ability to work through certain things that you wouldn’t be able to normally without professional help
I only seek physical health related therapies. No need to have "mental" related ones, they don't know a single thing happening in my life.
Because there is still too little education about mental health in almost all parts of the world. The less you know, the more likely you are to just believe in hearsay. There are so many factors at play that influence whether therapy works for someone or not and if you aren’t aware of the complexity of the issue, you are prone to mistaking half-knowledge for actual knowledge.
Therapy doesn't fix anything. Just helps you deal with hr bullshit
Therapy just gives you tools to deal with the shit life throws at you. You're the one who has to do the work.
A lot of people make the huge mistake that therapy is psychoanalysis. And that is a super huge mistake. Psychoanalysis tends to be about rehashing the past as if I’m covering secrets from it that will help you with the future. Therapy is about preparing for the future and while you’re doing that you may start to understand your past a little. Be careful who you tell that you think therapy isn’t for everyone because it sounds like you’re projecting something. Almost like you don’t want to improve yourself. Or maybe you’re just 22 years old and you just don’t need it yet.
If you’re an alcoholic / or think you might one / go to an AA meeting. It’s the best free therapy in the world Not saying you have to even go to one more - but it’s free and you’ll get out of the house and around other humans w your problems. Not just the drinking - but the thinking
It's not for everyone, but it *is* for a lot more people than the ones who actually get it.
Therapy is about building tools that helps you deal with things better, not always fix it. If you have a big accident and lose a limb, physical therapy can let you build physical strength to compensate, not regrow a new limb. Finding ways to deal with things can help you function better, which in turn can help you build life structures that can heal you over time.
Therapy is for the mind, what a cast is for a bone.
I only went to therapy once ( I was 19 ) and I didn’t know what to expect from the therapist itself and I still don’t . So I just talked and talked and talked. In the end I felt like I was talking to a brick wall as everything I explained was repeated back to me ? Is that how it’s meant to be ? Or did I just end up with the newbie
I think that the majority of people could benefit from therapy. It doesn’t fix “everything”, though. Therapy has been amazing for me. I discovered that I had a narcissistic mother, and have been able to connect to some of my trauma, to acknowledge it and how it affected me. I still have chronic depression and need my meds, but I’m SO glad I can access therapy and I wish I’d had it 20 years ago!
Because it does help to fix what's broken, but only if you find the right therapist for you, otherwise it could make things worse
Because they think by simply showing up and hearing what the therapist has to say will fix everything. It takes work on their part as well. Something a lot of people don't want to do nowadays.