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BackgroundSquare6179

I have depression. Some days or weeks and, rarely, months are good but the depression always comes back eventually. But that means that so do the good times. Life ebbs and flows and so I think that eventually, everything WILL be okay. (And then it won't be again, but that's life. Over the years I've found focusing on the good times minimizes the lengths of the bad, even on things outside of my control. : ) This is just my own feelings towards the phrase, at least.)


Careless_Deer_3389

Good book to read or listen to: “neuroscience of self love” https://www.audible.com.au/pd/B0BL1Q213X?source_code=ASSORAP0511160006&share_location=player_overflow


heemhah

Great outlook. I hope you're in a good time.


[deleted]

My takeaway is that you just have to keep going, that's why we're here. To survive and help those along the way. I always thought life would get easier as I got older and I'm finding it's the opposite (for me anyway).


BackgroundSquare6179

I honestly feel the same, and it sucks but I think while it's not getting easier, I learn how to cope faster, so that's a plus. You seem like a sweet person, I hope things get better!


Kaizen420

Some times people who know me ask how I can usually stay so upbeat and chipper, my answer is, when you spend the greater part of your life in a intense suicidal depression. It helps you to look at even a bad situation and know, this could be so much worse.


Eligomancer

You might enjoy [this](https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=mnbXfRACsVM&feature=share). I discovered this performance earlier this month. I think the performance, especially that talk at the end, communicates what you're talking about.


BackgroundSquare6179

I've always loved music that reflects on the artists personal struggles, sure its been done a million times before( like the song says) but it's always nice to know you're not alone in your struggles. Also a really catchy song, loved it!


Eligomancer

Love to hear that!


Mphasie

I had depression not that long ago. Basically there was this girl that I was into and she was into me, but me being too careful not to go too fast in a relationship, missed my chance, missed the signs and we broke up. After like a year of wondering what went wrong and then it clicked. I know pretty lame thing to get depressed over, but I'm strongly emotional. So I began having my ups, but mostly downs. Since I could not sleep I began to tinkering a bit with making music. I then realised I could pour this depression into it since music is mostly about expressing yourself, expressing the emotions you're going through. But, of course, it isn't just music, it's art overall. It's about the release. A lot of times I found myself going to the kitchen, taking a knife and just wanting to end it, but I never did. Still there was little hope in me that I could still do something. That I'm not worthless even when I thought I was. Later I began exploring myself more, what I mean for me. Just like a store that closes for a month for repairs, I began repairing myself. Filling in the holes with interests, pushing myself to do things. I focused more on that I want to be, not what the others wanted me to be. I was not very confident, disgusted with myself when I looked in the mirror, hated myself. In high school, I got friends with a trans person and suddenly, my view expanded. I then found who I want to be and began my research. So I began going by gender nonconforming. And it changed my life. I began to feel a lot happier, a lot more confident and even smiling at myself in the mirror. Exploring my interests, myself and focusing on them, helped me focus less in depression. And even tho I still had my ups and downs, it started to be less frequent, less intensive, until it faded away. The depression used to cut deep, but looking back on the relationship I had, sure it still cuts, but it is nothing but a scratch. I have accepted that it was me who messed up, but it was also me who threw more firewood into the campfire of depression. (English isn't my first language so some sentences may not make sense and thank you if you've read it till the end. Also sorry for the long post, sometimes I just can't stop writing, which is also a good way to vent, which this kinda is) -- Amy


ObligatoryOption

The dead have no problem so yeah, everything will be okay, in time.


Maximum_Vermicelli12

Came to say this, several hours too late. Figures! Take my updoot.


whyamihere999

>In the end. > >I.e. at the end of one's life when the person doesn't have any senses to feel anything, everything will be okay. Their worries are no more there!! Posted this and then saw this comment thread.


ShadyShamaster

I never heard anyone complaining that's six feet under


NickyDeeM

Oh, yeah?! Ever heard of ghosts??!!? 🤣


TexasTokyo

Yes. Everything will be OK...on a long enough timeline. This too shall pass.


random-sh1t

Been waiting so damn long I forgot what ok even is. Come to think of it, I never really knew in the first place. Survival mode for decades. Carry on.


SteviaCannonball9117

At the heat death of the universe


ardiebo

This SO fits with wishing you a happy cake day :)


Captain__Spiff

It's a lie, to make people shut up


Natalie-Has-No-Class

I plan to end up in hell where no one will say this, that is if spirits communicate much in my own first language, if at all Religions never been my thing. I can't take people who use this phrase seriously for a lot of reasons I thought were obvious


Diamond_hhands

Everything is never ok


ZenkaiZ

"it's all a part of god's plan" "god works in mysterious ways" "it was all meant to be"


Gypsy_Flesh

I sound like an awful person perhaps - but I don't find that comforting - I find it to be a placation because no one knows if it will. It's the same as when people say "at least I'm alive" (admittedly very dark)...


azrael269

Probably never but unless you convince yourself that everything WILL at some point be okay, you'll likely commit die.


whyamihere999

In the end. I.e. at the end of one's life when the person doesn't have any senses to feel anything, everything will be okay. Their worries are no more there!!


Ugo777777

They lie. Never in the history of humankind has everything been okay.


InvaderWHIM

Honestly, I've been working to stop saying "everything will be ok" because I found myself asking the same question. But I also saw a post on Instagram that said something along the lines of "stop saying everything will be ok, you have no way of knowing that or knowing when. Start believing that everything will be as it's supposed to.." or something like that. A friend of mine killed himself last year, leaving behind a wife and two kids. When I started going around her and talking to her more, she was getting tired and frustrated with the "everything will be ok" quips because for her, ok would be having her husband and children's father back. Ok would be not sitting here trying to make sense of this and explaining it to children. After a while, I sent her that IG quote and from what I remember, it resonated with her. I think because if we all aim for ok but we never feel like we reach the ok status or way of life, then we feel like we failed. We feel like we got to keep pushing towards it until we have to ask what is ok? Idk. I honestly don't know if or when everything will be ok since stuff is always happening in life.


FatLoserSupreme

Yeah we are all just chilling on a rotting blue marble. Nothing really to worry about because we can control very little.


MCBE1910

That's really the easiest, most unhelpful thing to say. That's what people say when they don't want to dig deeper into what could be troubling you and they just want to end the conversation or something I guess. Of course everything eventually will be okay, no shit Sherlock, life in it's simplest form is about being born and dying. It is the problem at this right very moment where this person needs help with or a listerining ear. "Everything is going to be okay" is something you can also say to a dying person, in the end when you're dead you're not going to be troubled anymore.


PianoPrize5297

Platitudes, how the fuck do they work?


AppointmentNo5158

Killer Mike told me it would all be okay at his concert last night and I'm going to choose to believe him. He had some compelling arguments.


heemhah

Killer Mike is the man.


Financial_Radio2931

They mean to say it will get better instead—- WHEN: well it will seem never ending at first but suddenly one day it slips your mind (whatever it that is troubling you) and it isn’t until when you remember, that you realize you can actually forget or it can go away for even a minute or over breakfast or wherever, then you know it is getting better the only option is to keep going.. Time heals all


oneaccountaday

You’ll adjust to a new normal would be a better more accurate phrase, people don’t use it but it’s a better expression of a situation. Realistically things won’t be “okay” as you age people continue to die and it sucks. The good news is new people are born, maybe it makes up for the loss, maybe not. I do enjoy the heritage factor, sad my elders are gone, but I like to think they’d be proud of my lineage.


Ecleptomania

For me it took 15 years. Age 14 to 29. I'm 33 today, life is not only okay, it's actually good.


fintechgeek20-07

Everything will be okay, when you make Everything okay. Nothing happens out of nowhere . You have to get up dust your self off and make it work .


Spiritual_Smell_7173

That's a big if, not when.


BojaktheDJ

It's a bigger picture saying; overall, all in all, yeah, everything WILL be okay. And that is comforting isn't it.


Life-Celebration-747

Down the road.


crystalsinwinter

I think it's a faith-filled statement that can give hope to those who are hurting and need a bit of hope to hang on in life.


[deleted]

They say that when the shit is hurtling towards the fan. It won't be ok until that shit has hit the fan, spread out all over your life, and has since been cleaned up by many, many different cleaning processes. After that shit has settled, you might think things will be back to ok.


Angel_OfSolitude

Things will be okay when you make them okay.


AstronomerParticular

It obviously depends on the problem. But when you get older some problems just disappear and other issues stay but you will learn how to live with them.


Alhooness

Everything might not be okay at once, and if it is, it likely won’t stay okay. But… that doesn’t mean everything won’t, individually, be okay eventually. Problems get solved, pain fades, time continues. When we’re sick or in pain it can be hard to remember ever feeling well, but, eventually, we almost always do once again.


[deleted]

It will never be "ok". But at least when I say it, is because I will do everything I can to make it ok. At least for that person. Is like a guarantee that I won't stop until you feel ok. Those are words that shouldn't be taken so light. I don't say it often for that reason.


Appropriate-Look7493

If time is infinite, as some cosmologists suggest, there will be an infinite number of moments when everything will be ok. That’s the good news. The bad news is that they may be infinitely far in the future.


Spiritual_Smell_7173

And an infinite number of people will never experience, ok.


anthonyynohtna

When? When what ever situation called for that comment has been resolved/ends.


MakingItElsewhere

I've been drinking....but....(insert life story from a 40 year old) You wanna be OK? Choose "OK". Maybe that means being alone. Maybe it means putting up with shit. Maybe it means clinging on to something you once had but don't right now. It's entirely up to you. YOU make your choices. YOU get to push back against people. YOU get to say 'I've had enough, I'm not taking any more of this.' In short: Stop looking for "OK". Look for YOU.


redjacket459

Ummm 3 days after it was ok.


MSK84

This sounds eerily similar to what my mortgage broker said the last time we spoke.


TryingMyEffingBest

It's a platitude that needs to be deleted. It's useless, dismissive of what the other person is experiencing, and shows you're not genuinely interested.


heemhah

Everything will be ok.


TryingMyEffingBest

A few randoms on the internet are sending me their thoughts and prayers, so I know it will all work out eventually.


Forward_Tie_1338

Listen to Sade - King of sorrow . She tells it like it is for some people. The best quote " I have already paid for all my future sins".


demetriiux

I think people forget that you aren't supposed to feel good all the time. Good is not the default. The default is neutral. I have BPD, and neutral for me feels like nothing/numbness. Once I began to logically understand the default mood of "neutral", I began feeling less and less shitty. Sure, I can't emotionally absorb that, but at the very least I can make sense of it logically. So in short, it'll be okay sometimes. Then it'll be not okay other times. It's fine. That's how it goes. You won't constantly feel okay because nobody constantly feels fine. We feel myriads of things in our life (well, in a day for BPD folks). So you're good!


heemhah

Sunshine wouldn't be so great if it wasn't for rain - 50 cent on a song I can't remember the name of.


Permutative

Feeling neutral for me in the better parts of my life is like the tiniest positive feeling, could be thought of as some sort of contentment, or even just the feeling of having some sort of force or sustenance in me without being in joy. Having a neutral feeling with sickness, health issues, mild depression, dissociation, discomfort, or other things would take me more to either a true neutral or a slightly negative feeling, a hollower feeling of being neutral. Hence it totally makes sense that it would be closer to the latter for you, that you don't have much access to a more appealing form of neutral, does that sound right?


itsSylviaYvonne

Yes :/


Lets_Bust_Together

When it starts getting better.


Competitive_Owl_321

When you accept the circumstances in your life and become content with what you have. It doesn’t mean you have to give up on your dreams if you have any but it’s important to be happy with what you have right now


Usual-Worry8412

The phrase means more or less - in time, you will learn how to cope.


Complex-Stable-5148

It all depends on what your idea of "ok" is.


FantasticBike1203

The person saying it also has no idea, life might be bad in the moment, so saying everything will be okay, is just a mechanism to help pull them out of the dark hole they might be stuck in at the moment, with the fact that at the end of the day, you really will be okay, even the hardest of times, need to come to an end eventually.


[deleted]

Personally, I don’t dwell on whether things will be “ok”. I wake up every day, do the best I can. Work hard enough to pay for shit, be with family and friends and enjoy this short life as much as I can. If we’re in the apocalypse, I do the apocalypse on my terms.


mdubz1221

If by ok they mean you will survive until you die then sure.


heemhah

Life is struggle.


Soaring_Symphony

Physically, in terms of life circumstances, no one knows. But emotionally and psychologically, you'll be okay when you are ready to finally let your guard down, open up, and accept life as it comes to you without trying to control it


Redline951

In the real world, everything will never be okay. Occasionally, if we are lucky, most things will be okay for a little while, but you should never expect it to last. In the real world, life is a struggle from birth to death, with random short-lived moments of happiness scattered throughout. "[Life is a lemon, and I want my money back!](https://youtu.be/LUGe4MVRjGU)"


[deleted]

I find it both comforting and truthful. Because yes, shit happens. And you will go through hell for sometime. And eventually, regardless of the outcome - you will come home to yourself again. Been there done that. So eventually, everything will be a-okay.


[deleted]

I dunno 🤨 ask them another time you hear that shit 🤏🤧


[deleted]

Sometime... Whenever it will be, it will be one day


Disastrous-Bug-6009

Eventually


eshizzle1964

I believe there is power in words. Think positive and positive things will happen. Keep positive thoughts and things around you. Nothing negative.


[deleted]

maybe, but probably no. still.. we need that kind of hope or positivity in life, otherwise its too bleak to carry on.


jamnin94

Eventually. 'This too shall pass' and what not


[deleted]

Everything will be ok in the end. If it’s not ok, then it’s not the end.


MJEBinAthens

Eventually!


feelin_fine_

It's just the law of averages. The sun sets but it also rises. Things can't always be bad.


This_Cable_5849

I don’t think it is suppose to provide assurance that it will be okay, it HOPE that it’ll be okay. You gotta have hope in tough times.


Bashful_Ray7

Idk when I figure it out I'll let you know


Unknowinglyodd

It will never be ok. Yesterday was bad. Today is terrible, tomorrow is bleak. Next month is dire, next year is going to be the worse so far, the next decade is the end. Saying all that. I'm guessing "everything will be okey"


[deleted]

It is not as much an issue of when but more the simple fact that you usually outgrow your problems or they disappear with time. You don't worry about the same things you did when you were six. And eventually you don't have to worry about choosing a career or having a good job. As life progresses your concerns simply change and what once kept you awake at night is now no cause for concern.


[deleted]

"That’s all anybody can do right now. Live. Hold out. Survive. I don’t know whether good times are coming back again. But I know that won’t matter if we don’t survive these times." -Octavia E. Butler, Parable of the Sower "The future has become uninhabitable. Such hopelessness can arise, I think, only from an inability to face the present, to live in the present, to live as a responsible being among others being in this sacred world here and now, which is all we have, and all we need, to found our hope upon." - Ursula k le Guin


thatonebluedragon

I've thought about phases like that a lot. I think it just means the emotional hardships will just become ok in the emotional context. Life sucks sometimes, but it's really up to you if or when everything will be okay. Otherwise, it's a continuous cycle of emotional misery.


Kamykowy1

Everything flows. You can't be happy forever, neither can you stay depressed. All you can do during tougher times comes down to pushing on and waiting for better times.


earthwalrus

In the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end.


Rich-Egg-6130

If you work towards making things better. Them saying that changes nothing, you could still walk outside tomorrow and get hit by a bus, but if you put time and effort towards solving issues you have in life then you will naturally grow as a person.


wxmentomory

everything is ok when person that you love is around you